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It’s hard to complain about a fabulous Valentine’s Day breakfast in bed or a romantic Netflix marathon, but when it comes to the routine sappy shenanigans and mushy clichés, there are more than a handful of us who would gladly pass on Valentine’s Day. If you or your significant other aren’t feeling a connection with February 14, odds are you’re having a tough time finding the perfect card that says you love them and you know them. Not to worry. These 14 Valentine’s Day cards are made precisely for your Valentine’s Day-hating partner and will have you well on your way to celebrating in true anti-Valentine’s fashion.
1. Diamond Donatella You Get a Card Greeting Card ($6): Ever feel like Valentine’s Day cards are so ubiquitous they deserve their own meme? This Diamond Donatella card does too.
2. RowHouse14 Funny Valentine’s Day Card ($5): If you can hear your significant other gag every time they hear the word “bae” on television, this card is a definite winner. Plus, since it’s handmade, it supports local artisan makers instead of big corporations. Double win!
3. Paper Pony Co. Valentine Shmalentine Anti-Valentine Card ($5+): This card literally says what your anti-Valentine’s Day partner is thinking. The holiday may be overrated, but you’re not!
4. RowHouse14 Anti-Valentine Card Singles ($5): Give this card if your partner has a sense of humor, or be prepared to spend February 14 alone. You’ve been warned.
Blackbird Letterpress Glad We’re in This Together Card
The Walking Dead: Couples Edition. But as long as you’ve got each other, you’ll probably make it out semi-alive.
6. Tay Ham Obsessed Card ($5): Chocolates, flowers and a romantic meal? Spoken by a true romantic herself: “Why are you so obsessed with me?”
7. The Good Twin Co. Stuck on You Card ($5): Even when you try to be sweet on this forced day of romance, it comes out a little gross. Eh, at least the sentiment is still there.
8. Tay Ham Shorty Wanna Ride Notecard ($5): Your love might fill a novel, but this February 14, your anti-Valentine’s Day boo would love it if you just kept it short.
9. RowHouse14 Valentine Card ($5): No matter how you feel about Valentine’s Day, there’s one standard cliché that’s actually pretty awesome. Let them know how much you love them (and chocolate) with this cheeky anti-Valentine’s Day card.
10. Ilootpaperie You’re Unique Card ($5+): Want a Valentine’s Day card that shows you care about your partner without all the cheesy red hearts and roses? This dancing unicorn is here for you.
11. Julie Ann Art I Love You Card ($5+): Any poop face emoji will love this crass anti-Valentine’s Day card by Julie Ann Art.
12. Tay Ham Head Over Heels Card ($5): It’s hard having a Valentine’s-hating partner, but just like this punny Tay Ham card, you can always twerk it out.
OfficeGangsta Attack of the Valentines Zombies Greeting Card
Dawn of the Dead binge and you’re all set for a great February 14.
14. Papyrus Mushy Stuff Letterpress ($6): Show your partner you love them like the calendar says you have to with this ultra-cheeky letterpress from Marcel Schurman.
