The running joke the editorial team and I have is that millennials are tired of living during unprecedented times. From the pandemic to all the other massive moments the last few decades, I've felt like I've been living in a weird vortex for the...majority of my life.
Despite — and maybe sometimes because of — it all, it wasn't until my recent birthday that I realized I've grown a lot. I thought the things I learned in my 20s were clues I'd 'arrived' as a 30-something-year-old, but it turns out I still hadn't fully accepted that learning hard truths isn't always bad in the long run.
I do this weird thing where I tend to focus on things I feel have to be done instead of focusing on how far I've come, but that changed when I turned 33. For the first time, I didn't have a huge celebration that ended in anxiety on my birthday. I relaxed at home with a ton of comfort food, scary movies, and a list of 33 things I have to be grateful for. So, how did I get here?
Let's go back to the beginning of the year, shall we?
Viridiana Rivera
I, like so many others, woke up on January 1st and decided it would be my year. I set intentional resolutions, goals, and even made sure to be specific about them. Similar to how I write in-depth articles, I broke them into the following sections:
It's the first year I decided to listen to my heart's desires in order to capture a screenshot of the life I want to live. I even prayed over my resolutions and goals, asking to be guided as I accomplished things or were led to them. As February rolled around, I didn't really think twice about the impact of what I'd done because life started to fall into a familiar hum that becomes mundane after a while.
I guess I needed to be reminded of the intentional goals I'd written down because things got painfully interesting after this.
Gustavo Fring
Car accidents are never fun as I've been on the receiving end of one before, but this wasn't like before. This time I was emotionally hurt to learn the first car I'd assumed total responsibility for was no longer going to be mine. Though I knew I was lucky no one was seriously harmed, all I could think about is the morning I paid it off. I had every reason to spend the nice bonus I received from my last job, but I decided paying off my car mattered more in that moment.
This is the car that took me from my parents' home to living on my own, trips out of town, and days spent buckling a newborn into his carseat. For 8 years, this car and I were locked in like besties. It truly felt like we'd grown up together so to have it ripped away so suddenly was heartbreaking.
Even though the SUV I got was aligned with everything my fiancé and I were talking about, I couldn't appreciate it for a while because I all could see what was what I had.
George Milton
Once I started making peace with having a new vehicle, I started feeling the urge to leave my first adult job behind. I'd spent 10 years there, but it was becoming obvious that it was time to leave the nest. Similar to my first car, my co-workers watched me go from a wide-eyed college student to a confident adult. Though I learned so much there, I knew it wasn't where I wanted to be forever.
Deciding to leave what felt familiar was one of the scariest things I'd ever done and I spent days wondering if I'd made the right choice. It's not that writing wasn't lucrative, but I had to learn how to navigate a remote job that's been unlike any role I've had before. My imposter syndrome was in overdrive because I was waiting for the shoe to drop off my other foot.
Thoughts like "What if I'm not good enough" or "What if my co-workers hate me," plagued my mind because I couldn't believe I'd taken a chance on myself that seemed like it was working in my favor. That only happens in movies, right? In this case, wrong.
The same month I truly decided to focus on my writing career is when I interviewed Whoopi Goldberg. Since then, I've gone on to talk to different authors and even moderated my first book event in Atlanta. But, it still took a while for me to truly be grateful for the amazing things that's happened this year.
KoolShooters
PMS plagued me for the better part of last week, so I decided to listen to my body and not do anything for my birthday. I kept waiting for myself to feel disappointed for not getting dressed up, but the feeling never came. The sad part is I almost wanted it to because who doesn't want to celebrate their birthday?
It turns out that I did celebrate, even if it wasn't in the typical 'party and dinner' way.
Deciding to focus on feeling peaceful in my new space, I opened my journal and started writing 33 things I'm grateful for. I didn't think I could find that many things, but it got easier to start being appreciative of life instead of focusing on everything I'd even thought went wrong.
In between bites of pizza and cheesy bread, I dropped all expectations and started writing. The more I wrote, the happier I felt which makes me wonder why I didn't do this before. So, without further ado, here is everything I realized during my gratitude practice this year!
Brit + Co
"I'm grateful for quiet moments where I can hit the reset button when I need to."
Brit + Co
"I’m grateful for moments I’ve accepted accountability for my actions."
Brit + Co
"I’m grateful for having a supportive family and fiancé."
Brit + Co
"I'm grateful for forgiveness and chances to start over."
Brit + Co
"I’m grateful for the beauty and joy of reading."
Ironically, some of the things I'm grateful for can serve as inspirational fall quotes — which is perfect since my birthday is days after the Autumn Equinox! Aside from that realization, I can genuinely say writing down what I'm grateful for made my birthday better than it's been in years.
I've been focusing on everything that can go right instead of comparing my life to other people and it's a welcomed change. Maybe this is just one of the perks of getting older. If so, sign me up for more birthdays like this!
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You and your friends have likely spent countless hours together, decoding everything from imaginationships to the best comfort shows to watch when you're sad. You've probably even settled into a designated role within the group. Maybe you're the super adventurous one, always suggesting friend date ideas for the group to try, while someone else always knows how to comfort everyone when life gets rough. But, have you ever wondered if you're the most empathetic friend in the group? That's easy, just ask Brianna Paruolo, LCMCH. She's the founder and clinical director of On Par Therapyso she knows how to recognize signs you're an empath, plus how to take care of yourself!
Like I said before, it can seem like you and your friends unintentionally gravitate toward certain 'roles.' It's not like anyone woke up one day and decided, "I'm going to be the 'mother hen' of the group," but it tends to happen. Why?
Paruolo says, "In my clinical work, I've consistently observed that our friendship roles often mirror our early family dynamics. These patterns show up naturally — think about who in your friend group gets the first crisis call, who plans all the gatherings, or who everyone turns to for emotional support." I'm willing to bet you thought of a name for each scenario — including yours — because I know I did!
"Like in families, we each fall into specific roles that feel familiar to us," Paruolo further explains.
There's so many definitions for empathy, but I thought it would be wise to ask a licensed professional for her opinion on the matter. "Empathy means to feel what others are feeling. You do not have to have a personal direct experience with something to feel empathy for another person," shares Paruolo.
For example, your friend could call to tell you she has to have fibroid removal surgery and is feeling scared. You may have never had surgery, but you could find yourself feeling the need to comfort her in spite of this. Paruolo says, "The cool thing about our brains is that we have mirror neurons, which means part of our brain is set up to feel what others feel. The ability to attune to others' emotional states comes naturally to some people, while others may need to develop this capacity more consciously."
To break it down even further, here's signs that Paruolo says point to your empathetic nature.
Physical Signs:
Emotional Signs:
Social Signs:
Mental Signs:
I've been an empath for as long as I can remember and I've found that I have to 'recharge' my social batteries at times. I thought it was because I was trying to be superwoman by fixing others' problems, but it turns out theres more to it than that. Paruolo says, "Empathetic friends and people have an uncanny ability to sense others' emotional states even when unspoken, and frequently need recovery time after intense social interactions. They tend to be deeply affected by others' experiences and naturally consider situations from multiple perspectives."
In the long run, she says it can be "distressing" for some people to always feel the feelings of others. Over time, she says, "it can cause you to shut down and retract." This can look like not being as quick to respond to the funny memes your friends send you or not even answering their phone calls right away.
But, this doesn't mean you're the only person who tends to go through this. "Many empaths struggle with maintaining boundaries due to their deep emotional attunement," she says. Color me guilty because this sounds so much like me. It got so bad at one point that my sister nicknamed me 'Captain Save-A-Lot,' which is actually the clean version of what she truly meant. Still, empathy fatigue is no laughing matter nor does it mean you're defected. You just have the natural ability to show people their feelings are important to you.
You know you need to set boundaries, but what does that mean? Paruolo says, "The key is understanding that empathy needs to be balanced with compassion - it's not just about feeling others' emotions but also knowing how to help without depleting yourself."
One of the things she loves to do is "encourage empaths to set clear boundaries around their emotional availability and make time for regular grounding exercises." As with gratitude journaling, try to focus on an activity that calls for you to be present. Focus on what you can hear, see, touch, taste, and smell.
"Self-care isn't just a luxury; it's essential maintenance for empaths. This might mean scheduling alone time, finding a supportive therapist, or joining communities where you can process your experiences," Paruolo implores.
You may feel like it's impossible to ask others for help since your shoulders are the ones people cry on, but you're only doing yourself a disservice by not speaking up. No one's super resilient or able to handle all of their distressing feelings alone. We're not meant to.
It's the reason Paruolo wants you to speak up about what you need. "The most effective approach I've seen is being direct about your needs rather than hoping others will figure them out," she says. I made this mistake during postpartum and found myself expecting my family & friends to know exactly how I felt, but they're not mind readers. The more I verbally asked for help with little or big tasks, the more my mental and emotional load lightened.
Paruolo wants you to look at "asking for support as strengthening your friendships through trust and vulnerability, instead of waiting until you're overwhelmed." By the time you reach that point, you'll be ready to enter rage or full-blown shut down mode and they're not fun.
Avoid unlocking their proverbial doors by scheduling "regular check-ins with trusted friends," suggests Paruolo. "This creates a sustainable support system and helps prevent emotional crisis points.
We have even more self-care stories for you to dive into if you need a mental and emotional boost!
Prime Day continues to impress us! Apple products like iPads, iPhones, AirPods, and more are almost never on sale for prices this low. This Prime Day, we’re seeing hundreds of dollars worth of savings, which is especially satisfying if you’ve been thinking about upgrading your current desk set-upor revamping your super old headphones. Scroll on for the 7 best deals on Apple products we’ve found, available for historic sale prices now.
Amazon
$280, was $399
This powerful little sidekick is now $119 off for Prime Day! You can do practically everything you do on your iPhone with the Apple Watch, like talking, texting, navigation, and workout and sleep support. It easily syncs up with the rest of your Apple devices for a seamless experience. Plus, all of your activity will be super visible and bright, thanks to the Series 9's clear interface.
Amazon
$120, was $169
You can save nearly $50 on some brand-new AirPods this Prime Day. The 3rd generation model is snug-fitting, sweat and water resistant, and lightning fast when it comes to communicating with your devices. You get up to 6 hours of listening time with a single charge, which is ample time to listen to your new favorite album or audiobook on repeat!
Amazon
$450, was $499
If you like to get things done on the go, the iPad is a total lifesaver. It's way more compact than a laptop, but its small size is still perfectly suitable to see the screen clearly. You can snag it in storage sizes 64GB or 256GB and four different vibrant colors on Amazon right now! This pick is compatible with the Apple Pencil as well as the Magic Keyboard (both are $50 off for Prime Day) based on your usage needs.
Amazon
$24, was $29
The AirTag ensures you'll never lose track of your wallet, keys, or backpack ever again. It communicates with the Find My app on your Apple devices, so you can locate your items in a single press of a button! This model even has a built-in speaker than can ring out loud to help you track down what you've (seemingly) lost forever.
Amazon
$282, was $398
The classic iPhone really speaks for itself, but this $115 off Prime Day deal makes it even better. We all live on our phones, so whether it's for scrolling TikTok, messaging your long-distance pals, or playing games, this device does it all. You can shop from storage sizes 64GB, 128GB, and 256GB and 6 different colors on Amazon right now!
Amazon
$395, was $549
We're never far from a pair of headphones, and the AirPods Max are definitely the hottest style to rock right now. They deliver high-quality audio through the cushioned ear cups, and you can even toggle between several different noise-cancelling settings. These wear really light on the head and even offer some nice breathability, since the headband is made from a light mesh material. With a single charge, you get up to 20 hours of listening time – and at $154 off, that's a major score!
Amazon
$80, was $99
If you've been searching for an excuse to upgrade your clunky computer mouse, this wireless Magic Mouse from Apple is gonna feel like a total treat. It's compatible with both Macs and iPads to help you get the job done. This mouse works silently, too, so you won't ever be distracted by noisy scrolling or clicking again. It even has an incredibly long battery life, operating at full power even if you haven't charged it in a couple weeks!
Amazon
$380, was $499
A slightly smaller iPad model, the Mini ($119 off) is still as great as the OG. It features a super bright and impressively clear screen display, fast wifi capability, and tons of storage to handle all your notes, apps, and photos. This model is available in storage sizes 64GB and 256GB and 4 different colorways on Amazon now.
Shop our Amazon storefront to snag more amazing Prime Day deals on beauty, home, fashion, books, and more!
Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.
Finding gifts for the person you're closest to can be the absolute hardest thing to do, especially when there are so many things that would make great gifts for him. If you're shopping for the main man in your life this season – whether you call him your dad, husband, fiancé, boyfriend, partner, or your preferred pet names – of course you want to find a gift that shows him just how much he means to you. Just remember that the key to the perfect gift is simply that it comes from you. These stunning gift ideas will help you say "this made me think of you."
Our 46 favorite gifts for men for 2024:
Amazon
This flat-brimmed baseball cap replaces those older, worn-out styles you know your man has been hoarding. The green corduroy fabric on this gift-worthy hat will grace his head perfectly for every season!
Amazon
This gift set is filled with an ideal assortment of gifts for him. From body wash, shampoo, deodorant, and face wash, your man will have everything he needs to feel fresh – plus, having a good-smelling guy around is the real gift for you that keeps on giving.
Target
Bring the cinema home to your movie buff with a sleek projector setup for your own private screenings and viewing parties!
Sunswell
Made from recycled materials for rigorous wear, the Sunswell R&R pants are bound to be a staple in your man's year-round wardrobe.
Amazon
This sturdy coffee maker will be a total hit for the caffeine-loving guy in your life. The layered stainless steel filter allows for a rich, creamy flavor in every sip, plus the decanter is holds a whole 34 ounces of brewed coffee to help him wake up!
Amazon
This durable drinking set complete with a flask and shot glasses will be his new BFF for sharing on camping, fishing, or hunting trips. Top it all off with a brand-new bottle of whiskey to complete the gift for him.
Amazon
Whether he's hitting the slopes or is braving the cold winter weather to run errands with you, this warm thermal base layer tee will swarm his upper half in comfort, flexibly moving with his each and every move.
Herschel
For his outdoor adventures or social gatherings, outfit him with a cool backpack (literally, this one is insulated) that he can fill with his favorite snacks and beverages.
Ties
Whether it's a stocking stuffer or a smaller gift, a playful set of socks is both practical and personal.
Tie Bar
This tie storage case means business, just like your man does. If he travels for work often, he'll appreciate that you're looking out for his formal-wear.
Amazon
This manly bar soap is infused with coffee beans and cocoa butter butter that help tackle even the worst bouts of sweat and body odor. It's definitely long-lasting, too, so he can smell lovely all night long.
Taylor Stitch
This jacket will hug his bod in the most stylish way, all while keeping him comfy throughout the season's cold weather.
Williams Sonoma
For the early risers and coffee-obsessed, a programmable coffee maker means he can wake up to the smell of coffee every day (and no longer has to use wasteful pods for an instant brew).
Mark & Graham
Whether he's going to work, outfitting a permanent at-home office, or heading back to school, a personalized desk set like this luxe leather one will please the most studious types of guys.
Nordstrom
If your man loves a cozy night in just as much as you do, a soft robe to lounge around in will make the ultimate gift for him.
Mejuri
Once you've reached long-term status with your guy, gift him a signature gold chain he can flex for years to come.
Pangaia
For the hoodie-obsessed, Pangaia's signature sustainable sweatshirts (and sweatsuits!) are best-in-class.
Etsy
From a first dance song to the one you always blast together in the car, every guy has their favorite tune. Memorialize it for your music-loving man with this custom art print.
DUER
A good quality, fresh pair of denim is gonna set him (and his style) so right for the new year. These jeans feature a stretchy fabric that'll allow wear for practically any occasion.
Mark & Graham
Outfit his next game night with a poker set that's sure to impress and easy to bring on the go for weekend trips and group hangs.
New Balance
Secure your status as the greatest of all time by copping him that stylish pair of sneakers he's been eyeing.
Amazon
If your man is into photography and all things nostalgia, consider surprising him with a retro Polaroid camera set. We bet you'll be his favorite muse.
Manly Bands
This sleek wedding band stands up to tough, hands-on jobs with a carbon fiber construction, unlike traditional rings. The inner part is actually made from a Jack Daniel's whiskey barrel, making the perfect personalized touch for gifting the guy who loves a drink.
Uncommon Goods
This isn't just any coffee table book, but one that true sports buffs will actually want to devour – with clippings from his team's history, glory days, and highlights.
Still trying to figure out the perfect gifts for him? Subscribe to our email newsletter for more gift guides!
Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others and earn commissions, but we always offer genuine editorial recommendations.
This post has been updated, with former reporting by Kaitlyn Ingram and Lauren Black.
You and your new-ish flame have been enjoying all of the best parts of fall. You’ve indulged in pumpkin carving, sipped apple cider in a corn maze, wore the perfect DIY couples costumes, and cozied up for an early peek at some of your favorite holiday movies. Things really couldn’t be going better. With just a few weeks left before Thanksgiving, though, you’re about to be faced with a big decision: Is it time to invite said S.O. to join you and the fam for Turkey Day festivities?
How serious is serious enough? Will an invitation like this freak bae out? And when do you really know that a partner is ready to handle all the family chaos that the holidays can shake up? Deciding whether or not to bring your partner home for a major end-of-year holiday can feel like a big deal, and we want to help you dial down the intensity so you can focus on what’s really important: food and quality time with your loved ones. We’ve consulted with relationship experts about how you know the time is right to bring a date to family Thanksgiving — read on for their six signposts.
You and your sweetie have been seeing each other for a few months, and with the holiday season just around the corner, you’re starting to open up to each other about the parts of the festivities that are most meaningful to you. You’re swapping stories about favorite recipes and customs, and you’re comfortable enough to share the nitty-gritty details about icky family dramas that can make the season awkward. If these conversations are coming up naturally and you want to share your holiday with your S.O. IRL, licensed marriage and family therapist Katie Ziskind says it might be time to extend the invite.
Therapist Irene Schreiner recommends that you consider bringing your partner to Thanksgiving if they’ve already met some of your loved ones. “If they haven’t met anyone in your family yet,” on the other hand, “it can feel too overwhelming to have them meet everyone at once during the craziness of the holiday,” she says. Know your S.O.’s boundaries so you can push or protect them accordingly.
Mom’s been picking up hints from your phone conversations that something pretty amazing is going on between you and your new special someone, and she’s anxious to put a face to the name you keep mentioning. Your siblings are equally excited to interrogate — er, meet — your boo. It’s rare for your family to come together outside of the holiday season, so if you’re serious about your S.O. this might be the perfect time to invite them to make the rounds.
“If your family is constantly begging to meet [them], it is time to bring them home for Thanksgiving,” encourages Grapevine Gossip relationship expert Caitlyn Paltsios. “It shows your family is interested… and you can also see if your S.O. is excited to meet your family.”
Maybe you said “I love you” first, or maybe bae made the initial move. Either way, you’re both swapping that all-important word pretty comfortably now; you might want to consider swapping it over a heaping bowl of mashed potatoes. “‘I love you’ is such a powerful statement for any relationship,” notes counselor and Tech Talk Therapy owner Connie Omari. “Once this line has been crossed, you naturally become more open with one another. This closeness should be solidified by allowing your S.O. to interact with the other people that you love.”
If you’ve already had a chance to attend family dinners and maybe a birthday party or two with your S.O., it’s your turn to extend an invitation (assuming, of course, that you share their serious feelings and there aren’t other concerns as to why it might be unsafe or unhealthy to reciprocate the invitation). “If they are including you in small family events, they are looking to integrate you into their larger lives and are likely ready to have you do the same,” Schreiner explains. This doesn’t mean that you should make the invitation purely out of obligation — only that you should seriously consider it when they’ve already made the first move.
“Thanksgiving has historically been known for being around people with whom we care very much about,” reminds Omari. “If your S.O. means a lot to you — maybe even the world — it’s likely you will feel very uncomfortable at the thought of being separated for Thanksgiving.” Tune in to your feelings and visualize experiencing this very special occasion as a couple. If this seems like the only way you would want to celebrate, then you have nothing to lose by asking! If, however, visualizing this makes you feel anxious or uncomfortable, psychotherapist and co-founder ofA Good First Date Rachel Perlstein suggests that it’s probably best to rain check until next year.
Do you get nervous about inviting a partner home for the holidays? Tweet us @BritandCo!
This post has been updated.
