12 Celebs You Won’t Believe Only Joined Instagram This Year

Why do people want to share their relationship status with others?

My sister used to ask me this question when I was in my 20's, and I always looked at her like she had two heads growing. I couldn't fathom the idea that people wouldn't want to talk about their relationship online because it felt like everyone was doing it. I mean, a study from Pew Research Center shows 8 in 10 people on social media see relationship posts, so it clearly wasn't outrageous to think it was normal.

But, that still doesn't answer why people are drawn to sharing cute little updates about their partner or relationship. Luckily, Bray has a good indication of what drives people to give others a sneak peek into their lives. "People share their relationship status for all kinds of reasons. Some want to mark their territory — nothing says 'back off' quite like a cute couple selfie! Others are just excited and proud of their partner and want to share the joy," she says. That stems from people's "need for a sense of belonging or to receive positive reinforcement from others," she adds.

But, this doesn't necessarily make people weird. It's just human nature that makes us act the way we do. "We as humans are just hard wired to seek connection, and broadcasting our connections, makes us feel more accepted and secure in our social lives."

Should couples have conversations about their social media expectations?

I don't care how hot you think someone is, you're going to have to learn how to communicate with them. It's true even if your chemistry is off-the-charts because healthy relationships don't fall out of the sky. They're built via honesty, respect, forgiveness, and other important factors.

Before assuming your partner is or isn't okay with you posting about your relationship, Bray is 100% convinced you should talk things through. "Social media is still in the wild west of relationship etiquette, and without discussions, assumptions about 'correct' behavior can run wild," she hints. For example, you could be happily posting about your partner only for someone to point out that they're not following you on social media.

"Some people are super private, while others practically live their lives online. Misunderstandings happen when expectations aren't laid out so talking about it can prevent messiness in the long run," Bray observes.

If two people have gone on a couple of dates, should one of them be upset if the other isn't publicly talking about them?

So, you swiped right on Tinder or Bumble, and you had a few amazing dates with one of your matches. Before you start publicly declaring your love for them, Bray wants you to reconsider. "Hold on! It's just a few dates! Let’s pump the brakes. The early stages of dating is not the time to make grand social declarations," she declares. As someone who tried to 'date' people from Tinder, those first few dates aren't a guarantee that you've found the love of your life.

"Posting someone on social media can feel like a big step to some people so expecting that level of public commitment too soon might be too much pressure. If you’re already thinking, 'Why haven’t they posted about me yet?' after two dates, it might be a good time to check in with yourself about where those expectations are coming from," advises Bray.

I've recovered from my former, "Is he the one" obsession so also take it from me — see where things go first and then refer back to question #2!

Is it a red flag if someone doesn't post their partner on social media?

It would be so much fun if we personally had Dustin Poynter, the flag guy, from TikTok helping point us in the right direction — but this is one of those things that errs on the subjective side. Though Bray doesn't feel it's necessarily healthier to keep your relationship private, she thinks "context matters." "Some people are just more private or feel weird about social media in general," she says.

But, that doesn't mean certain behaviors don't warrant a few eyebrow raises. She notes," If someone is super active on social—like posting about their dog’s morning routine and every cupcake they’ve ever had—but doesn't ever mention their partner, it could create a need for a deeper conversation." Before you feel justified about grilling your partner — as satisfactory as that may feel — take a second to breathe.

Bray would prefer you work to understand "why they don't post, rather than assuming your partner is keep you a secret." If you discover the latter to be true, follow your instincts and let that person go because you don't deserve that!

Do you think it's healthier for couples to keep certain aspects of their relationship private?

Everyone has a different view of what makes a romantic relationship healthy, so this is one of those things Bray says, "absolutely depends on the couple" because some "genuinely enjoy sharing their lives online." You've probably seen your share of couples who make cute content together whether they're married or not. I'd be lying if I said I don't specifically keep up with a few whose content makes me smile.

But, other couples may not be interested in sharing their relationship online because they "want to be private and keep the relationship free from the judgements or opinions of others," according to Bray. That's not to say they have something to hide, though. Instead, think of it as a personal preference.

"As long as both partners are on the same page and it’s not a source of tension, it’s all about finding the balance that works for them. If it starts to feel like a performance for likes rather than genuine connection, though, that’s where it can become problematic," Bray reminds.

How can someone bring up their partner's posting habits without sounding accusatory?

You may feel eager about posting about your partner while they're less enthusiastic and this could make you feel upset. It's easy to jump to conclusions when you're already upset, but Bray feels "tone is everything." Ironically, she suggests something I've heard in therapy sessions and that's "to be curious, not confrontational." Hopefully this stopped you in your tracks if you were ready to give your partner a piece of your mind.

"You can say something like, 'Hey, I’ve noticed we haven’t shared much about each other on social media? What’s your take on sharing stuff about us online?' It’s important to frame it as a mutual exploration of rather than a demand for a public declaration," Bray points out.

What would you tell someone who wants to emulate couples who consistently post content together?

We've all seen couples who we think have the cutest relationship, even though we've never met them before. As much as you may admire a couple, Bray thinks it's a "slipper slope" if you want to try to recreate their online moments. "I’d encourage someone to focus more on what makes their own relationship feel fulfilling, rather than chasing #couplesgoals," she encourages.

However, this isn't a sign that you're not supposed to ever share anything about your partner or relationship! "If posting together feels fun and real, go for it! But if it starts feeling like a performance or that you are in competition with other couples, it's probably good to take a step back," she warns.

Also, keep in mind that social media doesn't show you every single moment of couples' lives so don't worry about trying to look picture perfect based on a 30 second to 30 minute video.

So let’s start from the beginning. Paris Geller (played by Liza Weil) joined the GG crew in Season 1, right as Rory Gilmore (the show’s sort-of protagonist) walked into Chilton Academy, a private school where Paris was attending, for her first day. A far cry from Rory’s relatively timid and soft-spoken personality, Paris tore up the screen with her high-strung personality and immediate rivalry with Rory (Rory did not feel the same), who Paris viewed as the only candidate who could possibly challenge her spot at the top of the class standing. As the year progresses, the two become friends, which of course Paris still highly questioned.

The rest of their high school experience is plagued with repeated ups and downs, from Paris’s parents’ highly publicized divorce to their joint student government campaign and, most notably, Paris’s C-SPAN meltdown, courtesy of a Harvard rejection fueled by what she can only assume to be wide-spread knowledge that she lost her virginity. Despite losing the Valedictorian slot to Rory (which Paris comes to terms with after finding out Salutatorians tend to be more successful), Paris walks across the graduation stage and accepts her diploma from the school’s headmaster, to which she iconically quips, “no hard feelings.”

Fast forward to Paris’s first year at Yale, a school she knew Rory was attending but had no intention of ever seeing again. Not to the surprise of Paris’s life coach, the two frenemies were placed together as suitemates, a pairing that ultimately served as a catalyst for lifelong friendship. Throughout college, Paris pursues pre-med and pre-law degrees, joins the Yale Daily News alongside Rory, dates an elderly professor (he passes away, leaving Paris to grieve), moves on with the editor of the Yale Daily News, Doyle McMaster, and potentially saves Rory from abandoning Yale forever by admitting to Lorelai that Rory is the only person who ever listened to her, challenged her and motivated her.

Paris then proceeds to become the editor of the Yale Daily News, a position in which her power-hungry tendencies took full-force, resulting in a forcible resignation, kick Rory out of their shared apartment, let Rory move back into their shared apartment (now with Doyle), be accepted to a slew of prestigious medical and law schools. She ultimately chose to attend med school and break up with Doyle, to which he refused, and tells Rory that they’re on their own but she can still do great things (Of course this doesn’t last, the two are meant to be best friends.)

Somehow this doesn't even scratch the surface of the character of Paris. As you can tell, Paris is a fiercely loyal, protective woman who fights for herself to no end. She (literally) doesn’t care what other people think (so long as they’re not within her immediate circle) and never stops pursuing her dreams, no matter how many times she probably should have. She is the epitome of feminism in modern television — perhaps taken to an extreme — and serves as a necessary counterweight to Rory’s floundering sense of self.

So long as she keeps her need for perfectionism in check, Paris has one of those few personality types whose wild ambition and outspokenness is directly beneficial to her success, a success that she, and only she, can define. Sure, she has an exaggerated sense of self-importance, but when balanced by Rory’s soft-but-straightforward approach, Paris can quickly reset, reevaluate and move forward.

That's the thing with Paris — she’s always moving forward. She doesn't get into Harvard? Tough. She takes a few days to wallow before considering her other options: Yale, Columbia and Princeton. She doesn’t know whether to choose med school or law school, so she takes stock of her bearings, reflects on her past dreams, and makes a clear, concise decision that she moves forward with.

Her brutally honest nature (both internally and externally) is exactly why Paris works. She’s generous when needed, comfortable with giving tough (and oftentimes tougher) love, is able to express vulnerability with the people she loves, doesn’t allow outside influences to affect her path and never let’s someone (especially a man) tell her she’s less than (*cough, cough*—Rory). For an early 2000s show, she showed women that there is power in education. There’s power in stepping away from a caretaker role. There’s power in expressing your opinion, no matter your age.

There’s no doubt in my mind that she’s inspired countless women over the years — after all, she’s inspired me! Even though she’s had her controversial moments, she’s always been a cheering voice for women, even if it’s behind her resting grimace. For these reasons, and so many more, I am hereby deeming Paris Geller the best of Gilmore Girls — the heroine, perhaps, and a feminist icon to all.