The Best (and Worst) Hashtag Trends of 2014

Why do people want to share their relationship status with others?

My sister used to ask me this question when I was in my 20's, and I always looked at her like she had two heads growing. I couldn't fathom the idea that people wouldn't want to talk about their relationship online because it felt like everyone was doing it. I mean, a study from Pew Research Center shows 8 in 10 people on social media see relationship posts, so it clearly wasn't outrageous to think it was normal.

But, that still doesn't answer why people are drawn to sharing cute little updates about their partner or relationship. Luckily, Bray has a good indication of what drives people to give others a sneak peek into their lives. "People share their relationship status for all kinds of reasons. Some want to mark their territory — nothing says 'back off' quite like a cute couple selfie! Others are just excited and proud of their partner and want to share the joy," she says. That stems from people's "need for a sense of belonging or to receive positive reinforcement from others," she adds.

But, this doesn't necessarily make people weird. It's just human nature that makes us act the way we do. "We as humans are just hard wired to seek connection, and broadcasting our connections, makes us feel more accepted and secure in our social lives."

Should couples have conversations about their social media expectations?

I don't care how hot you think someone is, you're going to have to learn how to communicate with them. It's true even if your chemistry is off-the-charts because healthy relationships don't fall out of the sky. They're built via honesty, respect, forgiveness, and other important factors.

Before assuming your partner is or isn't okay with you posting about your relationship, Bray is 100% convinced you should talk things through. "Social media is still in the wild west of relationship etiquette, and without discussions, assumptions about 'correct' behavior can run wild," she hints. For example, you could be happily posting about your partner only for someone to point out that they're not following you on social media.

"Some people are super private, while others practically live their lives online. Misunderstandings happen when expectations aren't laid out so talking about it can prevent messiness in the long run," Bray observes.

If two people have gone on a couple of dates, should one of them be upset if the other isn't publicly talking about them?

So, you swiped right on Tinder or Bumble, and you had a few amazing dates with one of your matches. Before you start publicly declaring your love for them, Bray wants you to reconsider. "Hold on! It's just a few dates! Let’s pump the brakes. The early stages of dating is not the time to make grand social declarations," she declares. As someone who tried to 'date' people from Tinder, those first few dates aren't a guarantee that you've found the love of your life.

"Posting someone on social media can feel like a big step to some people so expecting that level of public commitment too soon might be too much pressure. If you’re already thinking, 'Why haven’t they posted about me yet?' after two dates, it might be a good time to check in with yourself about where those expectations are coming from," advises Bray.

I've recovered from my former, "Is he the one" obsession so also take it from me — see where things go first and then refer back to question #2!

Is it a red flag if someone doesn't post their partner on social media?

It would be so much fun if we personally had Dustin Poynter, the flag guy, from TikTok helping point us in the right direction — but this is one of those things that errs on the subjective side. Though Bray doesn't feel it's necessarily healthier to keep your relationship private, she thinks "context matters." "Some people are just more private or feel weird about social media in general," she says.

But, that doesn't mean certain behaviors don't warrant a few eyebrow raises. She notes," If someone is super active on social—like posting about their dog’s morning routine and every cupcake they’ve ever had—but doesn't ever mention their partner, it could create a need for a deeper conversation." Before you feel justified about grilling your partner — as satisfactory as that may feel — take a second to breathe.

Bray would prefer you work to understand "why they don't post, rather than assuming your partner is keep you a secret." If you discover the latter to be true, follow your instincts and let that person go because you don't deserve that!

Do you think it's healthier for couples to keep certain aspects of their relationship private?

Everyone has a different view of what makes a romantic relationship healthy, so this is one of those things Bray says, "absolutely depends on the couple" because some "genuinely enjoy sharing their lives online." You've probably seen your share of couples who make cute content together whether they're married or not. I'd be lying if I said I don't specifically keep up with a few whose content makes me smile.

But, other couples may not be interested in sharing their relationship online because they "want to be private and keep the relationship free from the judgements or opinions of others," according to Bray. That's not to say they have something to hide, though. Instead, think of it as a personal preference.

"As long as both partners are on the same page and it’s not a source of tension, it’s all about finding the balance that works for them. If it starts to feel like a performance for likes rather than genuine connection, though, that’s where it can become problematic," Bray reminds.

How can someone bring up their partner's posting habits without sounding accusatory?

You may feel eager about posting about your partner while they're less enthusiastic and this could make you feel upset. It's easy to jump to conclusions when you're already upset, but Bray feels "tone is everything." Ironically, she suggests something I've heard in therapy sessions and that's "to be curious, not confrontational." Hopefully this stopped you in your tracks if you were ready to give your partner a piece of your mind.

"You can say something like, 'Hey, I’ve noticed we haven’t shared much about each other on social media? What’s your take on sharing stuff about us online?' It’s important to frame it as a mutual exploration of rather than a demand for a public declaration," Bray points out.

What would you tell someone who wants to emulate couples who consistently post content together?

We've all seen couples who we think have the cutest relationship, even though we've never met them before. As much as you may admire a couple, Bray thinks it's a "slipper slope" if you want to try to recreate their online moments. "I’d encourage someone to focus more on what makes their own relationship feel fulfilling, rather than chasing #couplesgoals," she encourages.

However, this isn't a sign that you're not supposed to ever share anything about your partner or relationship! "If posting together feels fun and real, go for it! But if it starts feeling like a performance or that you are in competition with other couples, it's probably good to take a step back," she warns.

Also, keep in mind that social media doesn't show you every single moment of couples' lives so don't worry about trying to look picture perfect based on a 30 second to 30 minute video.

Here's Your First Official Look At Chris Evans & Dakota Johnson In 'Materialists'

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Vanity Fair just dropped a first look at a ton of new films coming next year, but the one I was most excited to see is, of course, Materialists. In the first look we can see Celine Song and Chris Evans standing outside a New York apartment while Dakota Johnson sits in a sundress and running shoes. I love that they're having a laugh on set, and that Dakota is totally zoned into whatever Chris is saying. Although, if he was standing in front of me, that's the look I'd have on my face too.

Who's in the Materialists cast?

Materialists stars Dakota Johnson, Pedro Pascal, and Chris Evans. We're still waiting to hear about the supporting cast members! I'd also love to know whether Celine Song will pull a Greta Gerwig (who frequently recasts her beloved actors) and include Past Lives' Greta Lee in the cast.

Dakota Johnson told us at the Tribeca premiere of Daddio how much she enjoyed working with Pedro Pascal and Chris Evans: "They're both big idiots and I love them."

Is the Materialists movie filming?

Yes, Materialists was filming in New York City as of April 2024, and it looks like they wrapped the first week of June! The first leaked videos from set (thanks to @mickmicknyc) look like they center on a wedding (which would make sense if Dakota's character is a matchmaker). Based on their costumes, my guess is Chris Evans plays the actor-waiter, while Pedro Pascal plays the new man in our leading lady's life. The Vampire Diaries, The Summer I Turned Pretty, Friday Night Lights — will the love triangles never cease?!

One thing I'm really excited about is the outfits because they're SO summery and SO New York. Floral blouses with peep toe heels! White button downs with jeans! Sundresses and sneakers! This might just influence my wardrobe for the foreseeable future.

When is Materialists coming out?

Materialists started filming in New York City during spring 2024, so we could see the movie in the summer or fall of 2025.

What is Materialists about?

While we don't have an official synopsis for Celine Song's follow up to Past Lives, it looks like Materialists follows a professional NYC matchmaker (likely played by Dakota Johnson), via Deadline. The matchmaker gets involved with a wealthy man, but realizes she can't shake her feelings for an actor-waiter from her past. Juicy! It's giving a little bit of It Ends With Us, it's giving a little bit of Playing With Matches. I'm totally here for it.

According to Merriam Webster, a materialist is someone who has a "preoccupation with or stress upon material rather than intellectual or spiritual things." This feels like an indication we'll see these characters have to figure out what's important to them, and whether they prioritize material things or relationships.

Did A24 produce Past Lives?

Yes, A24 helped produce Celine Song's directorial debut Past Lives (which she also wrote). Past Lives follows childhood friends Nora and Hae Sung, reconnect two decades after Nora's family leaves South Korea. The week they spend together in New York will bring up questions they've both been holding onto — about love, life, and destiny.

The film was met with rave reviews from both critics and the Brit + Co team, and remains one of the most beautiful contemporary films in recent years.

What else has Pedro Pascal been in?

While The Last of Us catapulted Pedro Pascal even MORE into mainstream media, he's starred in a variety of shows and movies over the last 20 years. He was in a 1999 episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and played the recurring role of Oberyn Martell in Game of Thrones. Pedro Pascal joined the Star Wars universe with The Mandalorian in 2019, and was also in my personal favorite movie of 2022, The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent.

In addition to Materialists, we'll see him in the MCU's Fantastic Four and Gladiator 2. I'd like to get his agent to schedule my entire life because those are some insanely impressive time management skills.

What has Chris Evans been in?

You probably recognize Chris Evans as Steve Rogers/Captain America in Marvel Studios' superhero flicks, but he's also done a number of other movies, too (including the 2005 Fantastic Four, which is funny considering Pedro Pascal is in the new installment). Chris Evans has some great range, and is in everything from the wacky Scott Pilgrim vs. the World to the action-packed Snowpiercer to the mysterious Knives Out with Ana de Armas.

If you're a fan of romantic dramas and haven't seen Before We Go (which is also Chris' directorial debut), I totally recommend it. I've seen Chris in so many action movies that I loved how much space there is for the characters to get to know each other. Fingers crossed that we see the same in Materialists.

Where can I watch Dakota Johnson?

You can see Dakota Johnson in 2024's Madame Web, but you can also catch her in The Social Network, the Fifty Shades of Gray series, and two beloved YouTube videos: Dakota Johnson’s Favorite Comedian Isn’t Ellen and Inside Dakota Johnson's Serene Hollywood Home.

I also wholeheartedly recommend The Peanut Butter Falcon, which was written and directed by Outer Banks native Tyler Nilson alongside Michael Schwartz. The film follows a young man with Down syndrome who escapes an assisted living facility and becomes fast friends with a fisherman on the run as a social worker (played by Dakota) tries to track them.