6 Reasons to Love Valentine’s Day When You’re Single

In spite of your increasingly amazing online dating game, you’re finding yourself without an S.O. this Valentine’s Day. When the outside world feels exclusively populated by couples, we understand the temptation to spend February 14 hiding at home alone with a blood orange cocktail and a face mask, waiting for the romantic festivities to be over for another 364 days. If you choose to go that route, we hope you’re actually enjoying it and not just feeling down on yourself. But if being without a Valentine is bumming you out, we’re here to remind you that there are still plenty of reasons to celebrate the season — as a strong, independent lady! Read on for six Valentine’s Day highlights you can enjoy even when you’re flying solo.

1. You can go all out with Galentine’s Day celebrations.Leslie Knope(AKA Amy Poehler on Parks and Recreation) really got to the heart of Valentine’s Day when she coined the phrase “Galentine’s Day.” Thanks to her, we all have a reason to love a little harder on our lady friends each February, regardless of our relationship status. While partnered-ups pals may dabble in Galentine’s festivities, only the single ladies among us can truly devote ourselves to celebrating our BFFs with gals-only parties and brunches.

2. It’s the perfect excuse for crafting and creativity. Just because we’ve outgrown the elementary school tradition of passing out cards to all of our classmates, it doesn’t mean we have to give up making platonic valentines! Your family and friends would be psyched to receive a homemade card expressing how much you care about them. A little crafting may be just what you need to stop stressing over being single, so if you’ve been itching to get creative, there’s no better time to grab your supplies and start some DIY projects.

3. Four words: Valentine’s Day candy sales. Who said that you need a Valentine in order to benefit from February candy aisle clearances? As far as we know, there is no such rule. If you have a sweet tooth, now is a great time to stock up on your favorite treats at a great price. You don’t need an S.O. to buy you chocolates — plus, when you buy them yourself, you’ll be sure to end up with something you actually like. (And you won’t have to share.)

4. The V-Day season is a great time for self love too. Even if you’re lacking a romantic partner right now, you can still take this time of year as an opportunity to show yourself a little extra affection. Treat yourself to a spa day, afternoon movie or new pair of shoes. Give yourself permission to spend the day doing only what makes you happy — even if that only takes you as far as your bed and a good binge of the latest Netflix additions or even some seasonally apropos romantic movies. Be kind to yourself — you deserve it.

5. It’s a great time to break out flirty (and thematic) fashion. February can feel a little dreary, and Valentine’s Day is a fun excuse for all of us to shake off the winter blues with some fun pops of color. Whether you’re going out to dinner with the girls on February 14 or simply looking for something cool to wear to the office, consider pulling out your favorite red or pink (or not red and pink) piece from the back of the closet and pairing it with some weather-appropriate layers. A little whimsy and accessorizing may boost your mood and shift your less-than-positive feelings about Valentine’s Day.

6. It feels good to celebrate love. The world can feel pretty stressful sometimes (we’re feeling particularly burned out over the last few months of political disagreements). While it may not be ideal to spend this holiday without romantic love, there’s probably still a lot of other kinds of love in your life — from big loves like friends and family to little ones like a kind gesture to a new neighbor or a thoughtful favor from a coworker. It can be good for your soul to simply soak in the sentimental vibes this Valentine’s Day — after all, who couldn’t use a little extra love?

Tweet us your favorite benefits of being single on Valentine’s Day @BritandCo!

(Photos via Getty)

The writer's room — and queen Shonda Rhimes herself — didn't hold back when it came to giving us every memorable Bridgerton quote after quote. But before Netflix, author Julia Quinn crafted the regency era books to tell these beautiful, romantic stories we know and love. Without them, we wouldn't even have the Ton in all their well-spoken (and sometimes petty) glory!

And while I've been a fan of the show since day one, it wasn't until I watched Bridgerton season 2 that I realized just how special the characters are. Their individual, unique styles not only translate to their own whimsical, cottagecorelooks — they trickle down into the words they use, too. I mean, admit it: you definitely say, "Daphne, you must make haste," in Eloise Bridgerton's voice on a regular basis, too.

As much as that quote sticks out to me, there are oh-so many more that deserve the spotlight. Don't believe me? Keep scrolling to see which romantic musings and quippy moments made to our Bridgerton quotes list!

"I have loved. I have lost. I have earned the right to do whatever I please, whenever I please, and however I please to do it." —Lady Danbury

"To meet a beautiful woman is one thing, but to meet your best friend in the most beautiful of women is something entirely apart." —Simon Basset

"The lady is quite the treasure. Do try not to bungle it up." —Lady Danbury

"I happen to believe a lady's business is her own." —Madame Delacroix

"There are perhaps darker turns in these woods than we've been taught to expect. There is light to be found at their end." —Daphne Bridgerton

"You are the bane of my existence and the object of all my desires." —Lady Anthony Bridgerton

"True love is something else entirely. It is when the rest of the world goes quiet. It is not eyes that meet, but souls that dance." —Kate Sharma

"However difficult forgiving someone may be, it is necessary to move forward." —Lady Violet Bridgerton

"Pen, living for the estimation of others is a trap. Once you break free, the world opens up." —Colin Bridgerton

"I am certain you will find your purpose one day. Everyone must eventually." —Penelope Featherington

"You are wise or perhaps unusually lucky to understand friendship to be the best possible foundation a marriage can have." —Queen Charlotte

"All Is Fair In Love And War But Some Battles Leave No Victor, Only A Trail Of Broken Hearts That Makes Us Wonder If The Price We Pay Is Ever Worth The Fight." —Lady Whistledown

"If you desire the sun and the moon all you have to do is go out and shoot at the sky. Some of us cannot." —Eloise Bridgerton

"Why must our only options be to squawk and settle or to never leave the nest? What if I want to fly?" —Eloise Bridgerton

"And when one chooses the heart over the head, often all reason goes out of the window. But the body has a way, indeed, of knowing most what it needs." —Lady Whistledown

Looking to stay in-the-know on all things Bridgerton? Follow the conversation on Facebook!

Lead image via Liam Daniel/Netflix

Tom Holland and Zendaya are the "it" couple right now, and they're both at the top of their game. Tom Holland took a recent break from acting and has been doing phenomenal charity work with his Brothers Trust foundation, while Zendaya's had hit after hit with Euphoria, Dune 2, and Challengers. And it looks like the couple, who met doing Spider-Man: Homecoming, could be doing another new Marvel movie. Here's everything we know about Spider-Man 4.

Is Tom Holland's Spider-Man 4 coming?

Emma McIntyre/Getty Images

Yes, we're getting a Spider-Man 4! Tom Holland finally confirmed the news during an October 22 appearance on The Tonight Show, and in true Tom fashion, already revealed a huge piece of news: the movie will start shooting next summer. "Everything’s good to go — we’re nearly there,” he said. “Super exciting. I can’t wait!”

Before the movie was confirmed, producer Amy Pascal told Variety (when asked if they're making a fourth film), “Of course, we are."

It might feel like a new movie conflicts with the fact Spider-Man: No Way Home set up an MCU without Tom Holland's Peter Parker, especially since Tom said he needed to take a break from acting after The Crowded Room "broke" him. ("I’m now taking a year off, and that is a result of how difficult this show was," he tells Extra.)

However, Tom's also been very vocal about how much Spider-Man means to him, and how much he loves the movies. He also told Variety at The Crowded Room premiere in 2023 that he was already “having meetings” about the next installment.

“The simple answer is that I’ll always want to do Spider-Man films,” Tom tells Deadline at the Sands Film Festival. “We have the best in the business working toward whatever the story might be. But until we’ve cracked it, we have a legacy to protect...The third movie was so special in so many ways that we need to make sure we do the right thing.”

What has Tom Holland said about returning as Peter Parker?

Jay Maidment/Sony Pictures/Marvel

Tom Holland recently revealed that he's actually already read a script for Spider-Man 4 — and that he loved it! “We have a creative and we have a pitch and a draft, which is excellent,” he tells the Rich Roll Podcast (via Variety). “It needs work, but the writers are doing a great job. I read it three weeks ago and it really lit a fire in me. Zendaya and I sat down and read it together and we, at times, were bouncing around the living room like this is a real movie worthy of the fans’ respect.”

“One of the things is that, with Marvel, your film is a small cog in a large machine,” he continues. “That machine has got to keep running. You have to make sure you can fit into that timeline at the right time to benefit the bigger picture. That’s one of the challenges we’re facing. The time in which we need to get that done is a tall order but definitely achievable with the people we have working on it now.”

Peter Parker is one character fans take very seriously, and I know that with Tom and Zendaya at the front, this movie is going to be just as special as Spider-Man: No Way Home!

Will Zendaya be in Spider-Man 4?

JoJo Whilden/Sony Pictures/Marvel

With the recent news that Euphoria season 3 was delayed — and the cast has been given the greenlight to take other projects — it's totally safe to assume Zendaya will return for Spider-Man 4. And fans are hoping for even more characters they love! "Hopefully Kingpin, Scorpion, Daredevil and Black Cat," says one Reddit user.

Forbes has also recently reported Sydney Sweeney could be joining the cast of Spider-Man 4. Sydney was in Madame Web earlier this year, and after rumors she booked the role thinking she was joining the MCU, this newest Tom Holland film would give her the opportunity to do just that. We could see her as Gwen Stacy, or as Felicia Hardy/Black Cat. Considering we've already gotten an extensive plotline surrounding Peter and Gwen in Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone's universe, I'm hoping we'd see her as Felicia!

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Ringsdirector Destin Daniel Cretton is in talks to take over from Jon Watts, who directed the first three movies.

Has Spider-Man 4 started filming?

Columbia Pictures/Sony Pictures/Marvel

Spider-Man 4 will start filming in "next summer" according to Tom Holland, which we're taking to mean the summer of 2025. Based on the schedule for Spider-Man: Far From Home, we could see Spider-Man 4 in the summer of 2026.

What will be the title of Spider-Man 4?

Columbia Pictures/Sony Pictures/Marvel

We don't have an official name for Spider-Man 4 yet, but fans are already coming up with new ideas. Some fan titles include The Spectacular Spider-Man,Spider-Man: Homeless, and Spider-Man: Home Again. I'd love for Spider-Man 4 to continue with the "home" theme, but switching things up with a brand new title would provide a fresh feel we haven't gotten before. I'm excited to see what Marvel goes with!

What are the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies in order?

Columbia Pictures/Sony Pictures/Marvel

Tom Holland has three Spider-Man movies, but he also shows up in some other MCU titles. If you want to watch all the movies Tom Holland plays Peter Parker, here's how you should watch them:

  • Captain America: Civil War
  • Spider-Man: Homecoming
  • Avengers: Infinity War
  • Avengers: Endgame
  • Spider-Man: Far From Home
  • Spider-Man: No Way Home

What do you want to see in Tom Holland and Zendaya's Spider-Man 4? Let us know in the comments!

This post has been updated.

Life can be a dream, depending on how you make sound and conscious decisions. The changing of the seasons always has an ending and a new beginning, very much like how we experience life. We must cross that threshold of endings to purify and enter the bliss of renewal. The fear of the unknown quite often holds us back from achieving happiness. Luckily, when you learn to become in sync with the stars, you can learn to live more in the present and steer yourself to better experiences. Read on for your sun, moon, and rising signs for a complete interpretation of what to expect this week.

It's about to get interesting as we kick off this week with the Sun merging with Uranus on May 13th, giving us the space to embrace change and evolution. Any edge of resistance percolating in your life can stir feelings of constant restlessness. Remember that Uranus sends curveballs; on this day, whatever is stagnant in your life will see what needs to change.

Curveballs only reveal the instability you are experiencing inside. On May 13, embrace the idea of starting over.

There is also another incredible event happening: we are experiencing an astrological stellium. This means more than two planets will be in the sign of Taurus, which will boost whichever house is ruling in our birth charts. If you need to find out, click here to see your birth chart in one easy step.

The great news is that our ideas and mindset will slow down as the communication planet Mercury moves into the earthy sign Taurus on May 15. These next few weeks will create an outlet for you to begin thinking before speaking or doing. Focusing on the practical side of things will hold you steady and ensure a sound progression.

On May 17, Mercury will cross paths with Pluto in a harsh position detailing aspects of your life or situations that involve power struggles leading to unforeseen disagreements. Hold space and observe your stance on control. It takes two to tango, especially with confrontation. Listen intently before jumping to conclusions.

Love is about to take center stage, and on May 18, when Venus joins Uranus in Taurus, it will dance to a different tempo.

This is the moment to see or experience love from a different perspective. This powerful interchange will also amp up your creative direction. The Sun will also merge with Jupiter in Taurus, and there will be a stroke of luck and an overflow of optimism that can lead to chance encounters or incredible experiences. With a pure heart and intent, this day will reveal the silver lining in your life circumstances.

On May 19, when the Sun forms a supportive position with Neptune, our dreams and outlook on life will be visceral, as though we are walking in a lucid dream. Chart out your long-term ventures or begin meditation practice to secure the connection with your vision. It is a beautiful opportunity to channel your intuition practice or extend compassion to others who need your support.

Key Dates

  • 5/13 Sun conjunct Uranus
  • 5/15 Mercury enters Taurus
  • 5/17 Mercury square Pluto
  • 5/18 Venus conjunct Uranus, Sun conjunct Jupiter
  • 5/19 Sun sextile Neptune

Your Weekly Horoscope Is Here For May 13 To May 19

Aries

This week, you are on fire with your self-worth; this is your chance to take charge of matters. Your adulting skills will reach their peak. Take ownership and resist the temptation of being the wallflower of the party. With celestial points Sun, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, and Uranus residing in your second house, this will be a fantastic opportunity to take the reins and make things happen with your financial needs and earnings. However, watch out for impulsive purchases; this is the period to gain, not lose. Designate time and discuss your money goals with your partner. You are magnetic and have what it takes to share your ideas, make that pitch, or request for promotion.

Taurus

Your birthday month continues, and with Mercury closing in on your sign, you will feel that rose-colored glow this week. With Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, and Uranus powering up your identity and self-appearance sector, you will experience an upgrade in your look or feel a wave of confidence. Addressing your wants and needs can go in your favor, but you must live up to your promises to others. Be mindful and reflective. When Mercury squares Pluto this week, it will significantly challenge your authority, but remember to factor in sensitivity to keep things in a better flow.

Gemini

How are you holding up Gemini? It has been a minute since you felt in your element, and with the stellium of planets in Taurus taking place in your subconscious sector, you are experiencing incredible growth opportunities. This week, there will be an outlet for you to experience a breakthrough involving your ideas. Whatever has been backlogged lately, expect movement when Mercury squares Pluto; you will begin to see the reason behind everything involving past setbacks or unresolved issues. Observe your environment and align with your intuition to bridge any gaps.

Cancer

Get your social events calendar, Cancer, because this week will be busy. With the planets—Sun, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, and Uranus—all hanging out together, your social life is about to ignite. You'll feel extra charming and magnetic, drawing new people and exciting collaborations into your orbit. This week is about sharing laughs, chasing dreams together, and enjoying the ride with your crew. Especially when the Sun conjuncts Jupiter this week, this will be the perfect time to arrange a get-together or event. This will also be a time for you to pinpoint the core reason behind your aspirations.

Leo

Get ready to feel a change in your career zone. This week, your career sector embodies the Sun, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, and Uranus. That means big things are happening on the work front! Opportunities for growth, recognition, and success are knocking at your door. Embrace your inner leader and show the world what you're made of. Don't be afraid to step outside your comfort zone and take some risks—this stellium has your back. Just measure your words and timing when Mercury squares Pluto this week. Measure twice and cut once.

Virgo

Buckle up and get ready to expand your horizons this week, Virgo, with the Sun, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, and Uranus igniting your firmer beliefs and thirst for adventure. Whether planning a spontaneous trip, delving into a fascinating subject, or exploring your spiritual side, the Universe has your back. Trust your intuition and follow your heart's desires. When the Sun sextiles Neptune, this will attract an aha moment for you to realize the meaning behind your life direction; you will find clarity in your next steps as you set linear thinking aside.

Libra

As an air sign, you are equipped to face challenges and factor in logical reasoning. Everything will make sense this week as you invest time in your inner work. With the stellium happening in your resources and intimacy sector of life, you'll be navigating through a mix of opportunities and lessons in your relationships, finances, and personal growth. Embrace the chance to connect more deeply with your loved ones and explore what truly matters to you. When Mercury squares Pluto, financial breakthroughs or shifts in your approach can manifest. Take this time to reflect, release old baggage, and emerge stronger and more empowered.

Scorpio

Love and values continue to be on the radar for you, Scorpio. Your relationship and commitment sector is lit with this planetary stellium. This cosmic fusion brings both exciting opportunities and understanding to your partnerships. It's a great time to deepen your bonds and explore new romantic or professional connections. It can be a great time to form a new business partnership or agreement to get things rolling. This week is about learning how to trust in others. When Mercury faces Pluto this week, look out for misinformation or avoid jumping to conclusions involving love matters. Stay grounded, keep those lines of communication open, and work through any issues together. Remain openhearted and patient.

Sagittarius

Expect a boost in your daily grind and wellness routines! With the planets—Sun, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, and Uranus—converging in your health and wellness sector, you're in for some changes. It's a great time to shake up your habits, tackle tasks with renewed energy, and focus on your health goals. Be careful not to bite off more than you can chew or neglect your self-care amidst the busyness. Stay grounded, balance work and play, and prioritize self-care to master your routine. When the Sun sextiles Neptune, prioritize a sacred practice such as somatic healing or meditation on this day, and you will witness a shift in your approach to life.

Capricorn

Prepare for a burst of creativity and excitement as the stellium of planets illuminates your romantic and creative sphere of life. This week brings opportunities for artistic inspiration, romantic adventures, and joyful experiences. Embrace your inner child, indulge in playful pursuits, and see life as a story only you can write. When Mercury squares Pluto, be mindful of impulsiveness or scattered energy that may lead to distractions or conflicts. Capitalize on the purity behind your decisions. Make all of the unresolved water under the bridge. Stay focused on your goals while allowing yourself to explore new avenues of self-expression and pleasure.

Aquarius

This week spotlights your home and family life. It's a great time to cozy up with loved ones, spruce up your space, and dive into heartfelt conversations. Allow the opportunity to strengthen bonds and create a sense of belonging. The Mercury square Pluto can add a challenge to your mojo, and be aware of some family dynamics or unexpected household issues that might crop up. It is an opportunity to clear the air or share what has been circulating in your mind lately. Stay grounded, open communication lines, and work together to find solutions.

Pisces

Brainstorming and endless downloads of information are circulating within your mind, Pisces. With the planetary stellium embodying your communications sector, it's like the Universe is giving you a megaphone! Take advantage of this by speaking your truth, connecting with others, and soaking up knowledge like a sponge. But watch out for scattered thoughts or miscommunications that might trip you up. When the Sun sextiles Neptune, stay grounded, keep your focus sharp, and trust your intuition—it's your superpower, especially on that day. This week is about sharing your unique voice and expanding your mind, Pisces. Dive in and make the most of it!

Want to learn the astrology basics and decode your birth chart? Take a look at Lumi's new beginner's astrology workbook

Every year since I was old enough to choose my Halloween costume, I've gone with my current fictional character hyperfixation. We're talking Amy March from Little Women, Lucy from Narnia (twice), Belle from Beauty in the Beast (three times), and even Eurydice from Hadestown. So I know a good pop culture Halloween costume when I see it.

New York Comic Con 2024 was filled with people who love movies, TV, and comics — and who know how to put together a good costume. This past weekend I saw everything from Disneybounds (a catchall term for easier, streetwear version of iconic costumes) to cosplays involving lights and smoke. And I catalogued them all away because they make incredible Halloween costume inspo. The best news is these are all pretty easy and they're definitely recognizable. So no more having to explain who you are! Here are 17 of the coolest pop culture costumes I saw at NYCC to use for your own 'fits this year.

Glinda & Elphaba from 'Wicked'

Universal Pictures

My jaw literally dropped when I saw two cosplayers in full head-to-toe costumes from the new Wicked movie. And when I say full costume, I mean it — people were having to step around Glinda because her ballgown was so big! If you're not so sure about a full gown, opt for a pink corset and mini skirt for G, or a little black dress for Elphaba, instead.

'The Handmaid’s Tale'

Brit + Co

A white cap and a red cape? Babe, it literally doesn't get easier than this.

'Agatha All Along' Costumes

Chloe Williams/Brit + Co

Agatha All Along is Marvel's newest hit show, and as a costume girlie I was so excited to see outfits from the series IRL! I was also shocked at how easy they are to recreate. Billy just wears a sweater and jeans (which you probably already have in your closet), while Agatha opts for a teal trench.

Scarlet Witch's Suit From 'WandaVision'

Chloe Williams/Brit + Co

And of course it wouldn't be a comic con without dozens of Scarlet Witches! Wanda Maximoff is such a beloved character, it only makes sense that fans would wear full cosplays, or turn her iconic costume into a sweater & jeans look like I did! If you're feeling crafty like me, I was inspired by @MagicWithMeg's jeans and painted the design on a pair of black jeans. The only thing you'll want to note here is that I made sure to paint white on the base before the red — it made it stand out perfectly.

Obviously, I wore my Scarlet Witch shirt to meet Wanda herself, Elizabeth Olsen.

'Game of Thrones'

Brit + Co

Winterfell will never go out of style! Reuse that red cape from The Handmaid's Tale costume, or go for a leather look. Either way, you'll look very stylish.

Megan

Geoffrey Short/Universal Pictures

One pop culture costume that made me laugh out loud was M3gan from the 2022 flick of the same name. Buying the costume dress will save you a ton of hassle (meaning you can focus on scaring your neighbors), but all you need to recreate it is a khaki mini dress.

Anne and Marilla from 'Anne of Green Gables'

Ken Woroner/Netflix

Anne of Green Gables is one of the stories I hold closest to my heart, and I was so excited to see a duo dressed up as Anne Shirley and Marilla Cuthbert! Especially since it's just an excuse to wear cottagecore dresses all Halloweekend long.

'Everything Everywhere All At Once' Costumes

Allyson Riggs/A24

Everything Everywhere All At Once costumes are so easy to recreate — and this Elvis costume x pink wig combo is simply too iconic to pass up. I'll take any excuse to have a bagel in-hand.

Princess Irulan and a Sandworm from 'Dune 2'

Warner Bros. Pictures

Dune 2 has a lot of iconic duos. Paul and Chani, Feyd Rautha and Baron Vladimir Harkonnen. But the combo I didn't expect to see at Comic Con was Princess Irulan and a sandworm. But now I need this tan dress and chainmail ASAP.

Harry Potter and Hermione

Brit + Co

I also saw plenty of Hogwarts students during my time at NYCC, and Harry and Hermione are always a great choice for a Halloween costume. Grab some Wizarding robes — after you figure out your house of course.

Troy and Gabriela from 'High School Musical'

Disney Channel

Troy and Gabriela might be the easiest couples's costume of all time. An East High jersey and a red mini dress are all you need! (Microphones not needed, but encouraged).

Glen Powell in 'Twisters'

Universal Pictures

White tee? Check. Cowboy hat? Check. Tiny, adorable dog? Check. My friend, you've got yourself a Twisters Halloween costume!

Cinderella

Jonathan Olley/Disney

The 2015 Cinderella rewired my brain, and seeing someone show up to Comic Con in Lily James' gorgeous blue ballgown rewired it all over again!! If the full gown is too much, try our easy DIY Cinderella outfit instead!

'Star Wars'

Brit + Co

Dressing up as a Jedi really just means wearing the most comfy Halloween costume ever. Just grab some leggings and wrap some fabric around your body and you've got an easy Rey costume for the holiday.

Baby Yoda

Disney

And in the Star Wars of it all, I also saw a baby dressed up as Grogu and I couldn't handle the cuteness! This onesie is a must.

The Powerpuff Girls

Amazon

While I saw someone rock a Powerpuff Girls tee, you can also grab a matching set in blue, green, or pink to make this costume more screen-accurate.

A Camp Half-Blood Student From 'Percy Jackson & The Olympians'

Matthias Clamer/Disney

I'd definitely consider Percy Jackson'sCamp Half-Blood my home away from home, and if you snag this camp shirt, you can wear it all the time — not just on Halloween. Grab some cosplay armor and your favorite pair of denim shorts and you can be a camper ready to fight evil!

Check out 65+ Last-Minute Halloween Costume Ideas Perfect For Procrastinators for more!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

The perks of having an older sister means I've been able to ask her all my more embarrassing questionsgrowing up. My whole life, we've chatted about everything from periods to sex to giving birth. Then one day, right before I graduated high school, she gifted me a book that changed everything: Nancy Redd's Body Drama: Real Girls, Real Bodies, Real Issues, Real Answers. It not only helped me understand my body more, but it also helped soothe some of the insecurity I had before my postpartum body developed into what it is today.

I eventually gifted Body Drama to someone else, but I never forgot about how beneficial it was, and I always thought there should be more work like it out in the world. As it turns out, Nancy Redd wasn't done normalizing bodies and questions bout sexual health — the author and Wirecutter journalist just released The Real Body Manual: Your Visual Guide to Health & Wellness! Not only is it a great resource for those who are looking for answers to more specific health questions, but it's something I continue to revisit on the days my insecurity dampens my mood!

I chatted with Redd to understand more about her work — and I came out understanding even more about myself and how I want to help raise the future generation.

The Difference Between 'Body Drama' And 'The Real Body Manual'

Amazon

If you've had the pleasure of sticking your nose in Nancy Redd's Body Drama, you're familiar with how well-researched and thorough it is. In that regard, The Real Body Manual is no different — but Redd highlights it's still a "totally different book." She says, "The world has changed dramatically, and we're talking so much more about bodies, and we see a lot more bodies."

Despite seeing all those "real" bodies on TV and otherwise, women — and people in general — still don't feel great about themselves. According to a 2022 study, 32% of teens had a negative opinion about their acne, while 31% weren't comfortable with their weight. Meanwhile, another study shows that 80% of women have referred to themselves as "fat."

To combat troubling statistics like those, Redd hopesThe Real Body Manual can help. "I think we're all operating with not enough information about the world we live in, and I think the more information we can receive in a safe, educated, medically-accurate space, the better," she explains.

Centre for Ageing Better

Redd also really wanted to write a book that taught both her son and her daughter about their changing bodies — and she feels this is the perfect time for everyone to come together and learn about the way bodies not only look, but function. She likens these lessons to learning about world geography. "We don't just need to know about the small town we live in. We need to know about the state, country, the world-at-large," she stresses. And she thinks The Real Body Manual can help you "learn about your own body, your friends, and the people in society you live with."

If you look at the group of friends I have today, everyone doesn't have the same body shame. One of my friends is a little taller and curvier than I am while another is shorter and rounder. I dealt with acne-prone skin and dark spots while my best friend Cookie didn't really struggle with that. It's honestly rare that everyone will look the same — and that's okay! But learning about what's going on with all of us helps bridge our experiential gaps and creates better shared understanding.

And with that in mind, here are the 4 things I learned about my body — and all bodies — when chatting with Nancy and reading The Real Body Manual.

1. Understanding Your Body Doesn't Have To Look Like Everyone Else's

MART PRODUCTION

I grew up during a time where certain body types were celebrated more than others in media, and it had a negative effect on how I perceived my own body. I believed I wasn't supposed to have stretch marks because video vixens didn't, and became horrified when I discovered them in middle school as a slender girl. Not only that, but I didn't really develop curves until after I gave birth which made me feel like an outlier in my community.

Recent studies found there's a link between teens aged 16-18 years old developing body dysmorphia and social media...which doesn't sound surprising. And while there are countless body positive accounts that also exist — and I really do promise I'm not saying to completely ditch your socials — sometimes you have to take a step away from it (and other influencers) if it's having a negative impact on your self-esteem.

"Some bodies naturally look like those in music videos. I think separating that from being able to find love or have purpose in your life — they're completely separate things," Redd insists. She breaks things down even further by explaining why you not looking a certain way doesn't discount you from enjoying life. "Some people are born with the ability to be tennis stars, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't pick up a tennis racket because you're not Serena Williams."

The main point she drives home is that "every person can have a great time with their bodies" which is why The Real Body Manual reads like an encouraging, evidence-based love letter to readers.

2. Loving Yourself Is A Choice

Anna Tarazevich

Just like I had to make the decision to fully accept the body I have, it's something Nancy says everyone has the ability to do. "It's literally a choice," she says before one of her kids quickly pops into our convo. In a tender moment, she asks her child, "Hello, do you love your body?"

This brief encounter circles back to the reason why The Real Body Manual matters — it opens up these conversations with our kids, offering a tangible resource for others. I know I try to have more conversations like this with my son, and I've even encouraged him to hug himself when he needs a little dose of self love.

"The things that matter — having purpose in life, feeling love, being a good community member — don't have much to do with whether you have hyperpigmentation, freckles, cellulite, etc.," she says. "The more you know from the beginning of your journey that bodies look different, the easier it is for you to accept [yourself]. But if the only bodies you're seeing are sexualized in pornography, videos, and magazines, you don't have a real basis."

It's one of the biggest reasons she intended for The Real Body Manual to be a visual guide.

3. Your Naked Body Is Beautiful

cottonbro studio

"I really like showing people what the body actually looks like for the most part," Redd says. Yeah, that's right — The Real Body Manual features real people's bodies, not just illustrations. In doing so, she says, "Everyone can see someone who resembles them." It doesn't matter if you're heavy-set, a person with different sized breasts, or anything in-between. The point is that you'll be able to find yourself somewhere in The Real Body Manual.

My mother told me how little information her own mom shared with her about bodies. Because of that, my mom always stressed that she wanted my sister and I to have access to whatever information we needed. She wanted us to be informed, and never inhibited by her own lack of comfort over a topic. But not all parents feel comfortable sharing with their kids.

Redd says, "I don't think it was done with malice. I think people are just working with whatever they have which is not a lot." She further notes people have chosen to refer to genitals as "down there" for both men and women instead of saying the proper term for them for their autonomy. I'll be honest — growing up in a religious background often means sexual shame was attached to very normal things like breasts and penises.

Not everyone was on board with me telling my toddler he has a penis instead of saying "pee pee" — or not talking about it at all, if we're being honest. But I wanted him to feel comfortable with what he was born with, and to know that his dad having the same anatomy is normal. "We just don't use the proper names for things which increases this shroud of secrecy about it. We aren't taught health literacy," Redd says.

4. 'The Real Body Manual' Is A Must-Have For Pre-Teens, Teens, And Adults

Yan Krukau

Funnily enough, Redd informs me that October is actually Health Literacy Month, making all this really round out. We should know what's going on with our bodies, whether it's the proper terminology, what changes we're going through, what we can look like. Ignorance only makes our experiences more confusing and harder — especially when we're young and probably have a million different questions.

She explains that if you ask people specifics like 'How does a period work,' then they may not know the answer. "The same goes for if you ask what's the difference between a freckle and a mole," Redd explains. "It may not seem like these things are a big deal, but when something goes wrong, you need to know 'I need to get this thing checked out.'"

Information is power, and when armed with information about our bodies we can lead safer, healthier lives. Instead of wondering why we don't talk about things enough, Redd decided to take the bull by the horns and talk about them — and she thinks you should talk about them, even (and sometimes especially) when they're uncomfortable. She says, "Any time you feel shame or discomfort discussing your body, that's a sign you don't have enough information."

If you find yourself unable to ask other people questions, but want to start feeling comfortable in your body, I highly recommend that you read both Body Drama and The Real Body Manual because they're equipped with detailed explanations — and helpful imagery — about how bodies actually look, work, and feel.

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The Real Body Manual

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