9 Ways Being Selfish at Work Will Help You Succeed

1. Actually Use Your Planner In 2025

We're not buying pretty planners just so they can collect dust on our desks or coffee tables anymore. Corry Frazier and Melissa Pepin want you to get serious because they feel "it starts with planning." They don't mean the kind you eventually flake on either.

"Effective planning is key to maintaining balance and reducing burnout. Whether you're mapping out tasks, meetings, or events, dedicated time for preparation ensures focus and reduces stress," they say. In other words, "the more intentional you are in planning, the more productive you'll be," according to them.

Ever since I've been blocking out my tasks by hour in planner, I've been able to get more done without feeling overwhelmed by splitting my time between writing and being in mommy mode. Frazier and Pepin suggest that you "set weekly planning sessions" that consist of "30-60 minutes each weekend to map out your upcoming week."

This eventually "reduces decision fatigue, fosters a sense of control, and helps you start Monday with clarity and purpose," they add. Yes, this is a sign that you'll be breaking up with the dreaded 'Sunday scaries' if you follow their advice. "You'll feel proactive and grounded rather than reacting to the week as it unfolds," they agree.

2. Embrace A "Fake Commute" When Working From Home

One of Kayla Baum's tips is to switch up your routine if you're a remote worker. Rolling out of the bed at the last minute before logging on for work sounds appealing until you realize you're uninspired by your days. But, what is a "fake commute?"

"It mimics the structure of a traditional commute to establish a boundary between work and personal life. This could mean taking a walk around the block, doing a 10-minute guided meditation, or even just changing clothes at the end of the day," Baum mentions.

Based on her experience, she's found that "it works because it provides a psychological buffer, helping to separate work and home life." She feels it's "crucial for positive mental health and boosting productivity at work (and at home)."

You can also create a separate work space that's not in your bedroom to get work done! That's helped me tremendously so I'm not sleeping and working in the same area.

3. Focus On High-Impact Tasks

Similar to planning your work days as best as you can, Frazier and Pepin want you to "prioritize the tasks that align with your goals." To minimize distractions, they want you to ask yourself:

• What is the most effective use of my time right now?

4. Stop Making Daily Decisions Hard

Tasks like your morning routine or figuring out what you'll eat don't have to take up a chunk of your time anymore. "Use productivity hacks, such as pre-planning meals or laying out weekly outfits," suggest Frazier and Pepin. They feel that "small routines like this eliminate unnecessary choices" to "make mornings smoother."

According to them, it's "especially helpful for families juggling multiple schedules." I couldn't agree more because I've spent so many frazzled mornings trying to make decisions about what myself and my toddler would wear or eat instead of planning them. With the help of my fiancé, we've cut so much time in half by being prepared ahead of time instead of 'winging it' before work.

5. Understand What Your Boundaries Are And Set Them

Worried that you'll be considered 'mean' if you tell your manager or coworkers what your boundaries are at work? Depending on your environment, it's 100% understandable. However, you're human and there's no reason you should be over-performing to your detriment. Frazier and Pepin say, "Set boundaries and communicate clearly. Adopt Brené Brown's mantra: 'To be clear is to be kind.'"

They encourage you to not only "be upfront about your schedule to manage others' expectations," but it's also so you can "avoid over-commitment." Say it with me: I will not make false promises just to appease others. Why?

Frazier and Pepin say, "Don't be afraid to say no to side projects or anything that doesn't align with your goals."

6. Ignore Emails Sent After Your Work Hours

I've been guilty of sending an email after work to acknowledge that I saw something, but I never expect other people to feel obligated to respond until the next business day. On the flip side, I've felt pressured to answer something that feels timely and I've gone to sleep thinking about the sender's potential follow-up email.

"Just because a coworker chooses to work late at night doesn't mean you must answer. One helpful trick is to include your working days and hours in your signature, explaining that responses may be delayed outside of those times," Frazier and Pepin say. They even have a prompt you can use if you're not sure what to type:

• "My working hours are [Your Working Hours, e.g., 9 AM - 4 PM ET]. Please note that these may differ from your local time zone. I appreciate your understanding and will respond to emails during my working hours."

I can't wait to start utilizing this...for research purposes only 👀.

7. Please, log off from work when it's time.

Unless you're scheduled to work late, take the time to log off from work and not think about it until the next day. Baum says, "Commit to fully logging off once the workday ends—no 'quick email replies' or sneaking in work over the weekend." I'm eyeing you Ms. "I just need to send a quick email" while you're on vacation or spending time with your significant other.

Baum says creating this separation works because "fully disconnecting allows your mind to reset and recharge" which ends up "making you more efficient, creative, and focused during actual work hours." According to her, you'll eventually "improve personal well-being" and "enhance long-term work performance."

As soon as my work day is over, I make a beeline for the shower so I can decompress. After that, I take my time with my skincare routine and keep my phone out of reach so I'm not tempted to look at anything work-related. I'm not always successful, but I've noticed a difference in my mood since making this shift.

8. Speak Up When You're Feeling Overwhelmed

And if you're 100% drained because you've been trying to tackle work tasks during and after hours, Frazier and Pepin want you to speak up. "If you're feeling overwhelmed with your workload, approach your manager with honesty and a focus on solutions," they suggest. Here's another prompt of theirs you can use:

• "I've been noticing that my workload has extended beyond regular hours, and maintaining balance is becoming challenging. Could we discuss prioritizing tasks or adjusting expectations to ensure I can deliver quality work without compromising my well-being?"

What makes landing a dream job so exciting?

The moment you go from thinking about your dream job to actually landing it feels euphoric. You feel a mixture of "I FINALLY did it" and "I can't wait to get started" because you've wanted it for so long. Carroll offers a better explanation though.

"A dream job is often one that marries our strengths, values, and interests — so it feels meaningful and purposeful as well as presenting opportunities to grow and develop in ways that feel exciting," she says.

This doesn't mean all dream jobs are created equal. Carroll says, "Everyone’s definition of a dream job is a little different, but the idea of showing up every day to do work that feels personally impactful, challenging and fulfilling is really motivating for many of us."

What are some harmful ways people approach daily tasks within their dream role?

I'm ambitious which isn't bad, but I've been known to be so laser-focused that I forget to take care of my basic needs. It's my way of trying to convince myself that I have to accomplish 2-3 things on my to-do list before giving something else my attention.

"It’s natural to want to succeed in a dream role, but there can be a number of pitfalls to watch out for as you try to prove yourself in the role and work at a demanding pace. It’s just as important to manage your energy and your workload as it is to manage your time," Carroll reminds.

Here's some of the harmful things she says you can do without realizing:

• Piling too much on your plate each day without a coherent plan to focus and prioritize on priorities
• Always saying yes to additional workload or meetings without assessing your other commitments
• Working too many hours, especially without breaks or adequate downtime to recharge, or feeling a need to be “on” 24-7
• Placing your work to-do list ahead of your self care, sleep or other needs
• Not communicating clearly about expectations, demands, feedback and needs with managers and co-workers

How can people recognize when they're overexerting themselves at work?

I'm beginning to think a lot of us are more introspective than we let on, but we may need help figuring out how to redirect ourselves. Carroll says, "Most clients I have worked with know on some level that they’re overdoing it. They feel the stress, and they may know that they need help in coping with it in healthier ways. But they often haven’t figured out how to unwind the situation that’s been created."

She suggests practicing self-reflection, priority and boundary setting, and often, self compassion and grace for yourself. I probably sound like a broken record, but I wholeheartedly believe we could be kinder to ourselves. Sometimes we place so much expectations on ourselves based on what society, family, or even our friends think.

Carroll says, "Burnout isn’t always a situation of overexertion, however. Sometimes it’s a mismatch between the role and our values, ethics or needs, or toxic workplace situations that can feed burnout as well. And in those cases, you might not recognize it at first."

Unfortunately, toxic workplaces are far more common than any of us like and can add to the stress we place on ourselves to perform our duties well. This can cause us to lose sight of what's truly important to us at our core. Carroll says, "It’s important to identify your core stressors so that you can address those. Burnout is not always about being busy."

What are signs someone is experience burnout?

Knowing that doesn't mean you're still able to understand if you're experiencing burnout or not though. "Burnout can look many ways — you might find yourself feeling stressed more often or less able to deal with your stressors," Carroll says. "There may be tiredness leading to exhaustion, brain fog, not thinking clearly, or a feeling of running on fumes."

That's always my first sign that I'm feeling burned out. I prioritize sleep because it helps me function the way I'm supposed to, but being sleepy is different from feeling tired on a soul level. There have been times where my alarm has gone off in the morning before work and it feels like I have to drag myself out of bed.

Another indicator that could be experiencing burnout is by losing enthusiasm at your dream job. "You might also be losing interest in the work, feeling like you can’t keep up or that the effort is futile. Often I hear 'I just don’t feel like myself. I’m not usually like this,'" Carroll says.

What happens when burnout completely overwhelms someone even if they love their job?

This is the part that makes working at your dream job so difficult IMO. I've talked to people who love what they do, but can't find the motivation to keep performing at the high level everyone expects them to.

"Being in full burnout is a physical and mental crisis point. You may feel depressed, lost, numb, exhausted. Your physical and mental health suffers, as well as your joy and often this has an impact on your wider relationships," Carroll indicates.

There's nothing worse than snapping at the people you love because you're stressed and don't know how to communicate that it's because of your dream job. It can take a lot to admit things are tough because you may not want to feel like you're complaining about something you've always wanted.

How can someone have a healthy relationship with work while prioritizing their mental health?

Burnout is real, it doesn't have to be a permanent thing. One of The Sims 4 characters I was playing developed the 'workaholic' trait and it got to the point where even she came home with the burnout moodlet.

She only had 24 hours to change it before it started affecting the quality of her work so I had to find ways to help her relax. The only thing that truly helped was taking PTO and allowing her to unwind at a spa, spend time with her loved ones, and indulge in hobbies that had nothing to do with work. Eventually, I helped her get rid of the workaholic trait because it was causing more harm than good.

Though that's a simulation game, I can imagine this happens to people. We have to decide we're willing to change how we approach our dream jobs so we're able to still function in our daily lives.

Carroll says, "Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries — with ourselves and with others — is a key point. Even when it’s your dream job, even when it’s demanding, your work is still one part of the larger picture of your life. Start with what is firmly in your control and make changes there first — there may be workplace changes to consider, but that comes second."

She says this can look like:

• Placing limits on working after hours
• Setting technology boundaries
• Being transparent about workload and priorities
• Learning to say no
• Reorganizing or blocking out parts of your schedule and potentially initiating new conversations with your leaders and colleagues where needed

What emotions might someone feel if they realize their dream job isn't what they expected?

It's disappointing when certain things we thought we wanted aren't what we need or even like. It doesn't matter whether we're learning how to get over a crush or feel like our dream job has become a nightmare.

"When our dream job turns out to be less a dream than expected, it’s natural to feel disappointed, sad, disillusioned or even grief. Depending on the situation, there may be resentment and anger as well if the job was misrepresented, or self doubt and questioning yourself and your decisions," Carroll says.

It doesn't always feel good, but letting yourself feel whatever emotion or thought comes up will help you get through the breakdown of having a dream job that's not what you expected it to be. Carroll says, "It’s important that you allow yourself time and space to understand what you’re feeling and to process that before deciding what to do next. There may be ways to job craft a more fulfilling experience, or you might decide to look at alternatives."

How can someone pivot towards something different if they want to leave their dream job?

Thinking about stepping away from your dream job in favor of telling burnout to take a hike? This is a judgement-free zone so just know you're able to do that if it makes sense to pivot in a different direction. However, Carroll does advise you to be mindful before making a potentially life-changing decision.

"The first step I always advise clients who want to step away from their role — dream job or not — is to assess the situation from a bigger picture before acting," she says.

• Take the time to understand what you’ve appreciated most about the role, what you didn’t and what you’re complete with/longing for at this stage of your career. Take stock of what’s most important to you and what is fueling your desire for change.
• Assess your strengths, skillsets, interests, and career values. A career coach can be a valuable ally to understand how you might you lean into these more as you decide where to pivot.
• Activate your future by exploring new career roles that build on the foundation you have, but stretch you in the ways you desire and meet your larger life goals. Then do your homework. Go out and explore potential roles through research, networking, job shadowing and interviewing. Testing out your ideas helps you move forward with clarity and confidence before investing in a job search or retraining.

After Mark Scout, Helly, and Irving learn the truth about the “severance” experiment and manage to break free from its clutches in the Severance season 1 finale, the three coworkers (along with the rest of the Lumon Industries employees) are forced to return to work in the second installment of the series. Now that Mark and some of his peers know what the company was really doing to the Lumon staff, one could only wonder: What are Lumon Industries's hidden objectives? (And what’s with all the GOATS?!)

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