In a culture of constant stimulation and always striving for the next big thing, we all need a reminder that we're right where we need to be. If anyone understands that, it's Emily in Paris star Ashley Park. The actress, singer, and dancer knows how difficult it can feel to experience "Someday Syndrome," a term that refers to dreaming about a goal, but convincing yourself that you have to make more money to achieve it. Keep reading for Park's tips on conquering "Someday Syndrome."
Ashley Park's Tips For Conquering "Someday Syndrome"
"I feel like our entire generation is having a collective awakening, especially after facing unprecedented situation after unprecedented situation these past few years," Park says. "I suddenly had to confront my own personal signs of “Someday Syndrome,” which had manifested into feelings of anxiety and the stark recognition that I’d been procrastinating on decisions and actions in life that I didn’t feel prepared or capable of achieving."
Understanding these feelings as a general idea is one thing, but how do you tell if you're experiencing "Someday Syndrome" yourself? Maybe you have a lifelong dream that is within your grasp, but you're putting it off, even though you're not really sure why. Or you're constantly telling others that if you can just get a little bit more money saved up, then you can finally be happy with your life. You're not alone if you have these habits — this is something we struggle with on a regular basis as well.
If you realize that you are experiencing "Someday Syndrome," a natural next step is "The Great Realization," a term coined by Northwestern Mutual, and figuring out both what your priorities actually are *and* how to organize your life so that your top priorities are first. Perhaps your personal Great Realization comes after something out of your control happens — or you make a commitment that you realize isn't actually a priority.
"I’ve found myself thinking more and deeply about what I value? How do I want to spend my life? And how can I help others achieve the life they want as well?" Park says. "Asking myself these questions is when my priorities come into sharp focus."
While pursuing those things that are most important to us — dreams, life changes, meaningful relationships — can be scary, it's even scarier to get to a point in your life when you realize you never did them at all. "I’d recommend that people ask themselves, “Have I been putting off what I really want?”" she says. "If so, think about your “why” and recognize that you don’t have to go at it alone."
Take matters into your own hands to create a personal plan since you know yourself and your habits best, and ask family and friends to keep you accountable. Whether you need tips for saving moneyand want tocreate a budget that works for your life, or need to reorganize your work so you can focus on one thing at a time with monotasking, whatever works best for you is going to be the right choice.
But no matter what personalized plan of action you choose, there's one thing everyone can do to begin: saying your goals out loud. "In some cases I had never even acknowledged to myself that I even wanted certain things," Park says. "I think that as millennials, especially BIPOC women, we can be afraid to speak our ambitions aloud for fear we have to live with the failure and disappointment when we don’t or can’t achieve them."
Speaking your goals out loud in your bedroom, telling a friend, or even writing them out on a vision board can help you visualize the details of what you want, and the steps that will get you there. Seeing the step you can achieve this week will feel more realistic than constantly feeling the pressure of your end goal. However, that doesn't mean you have to stick with the same plan the entire time.
"You’re allowed to change what you want and you’re allowed to dream big," Park says. "Especially for millennial women, life may not look like what we expected it to, but we cannot hit pause on our lives. There is now no 'right' or 'wrong' way to live your life." Not only can dreams and goals look different for every person, but it can also change over time for the same person as that person grows and evolves.
Just like with any area of life, you'll remember the process of getting to your goal just as much as you remember achieving it. "Often in life, we are pressured to put focus on the end product rather than the process," Park says. "As soon as we find joy in the process of anything, then we are able to trust what life has in store for us in a more joyful way."
"Our generation has been through so much from a global pandemic to inflation – which has left many feeling uncertain about the future. It’s important that we take the time to speak our goals out loud and remember that the best time to invest in ourselves is today, not someday."
Rapid Fire With Ashley Park
Image via Corinne Louie Photography
B+C: What are some affordable ways you spend your free time?
AP: I really cherish time that I can disengage with work and socializing, and now my ideal ‘free time’ is truly sitting with a couple loved ones and sharing in private and personal quality time, preferably on a couch or in someone’s backyard with a home cooked meal. Since a lot of my work requires me to be extroverted and on my feet, it’s important to me that my free time is simply staying still and replenishing myself in ways that don’t involve going out on the town or lavish dinners out.
B+C: What’s a beauty product you always have in your bag?
AP: I’m one of those people who can’t go anywhere without some sort of chapstick or lip balm. I think I have a UBeauty Plasma Lip Compound or a Burts Bees chapstick tucked away in every bag.
B+C: What’s your go-to recipe to make?
AP: I’m not sure I have a go-to recipe because that puts a lot of pressure on that dish to be good if I make it hahahah. I recently did a spaghetti squash recipe that wasn’t too bad! I love trying new recipes when I get time in a kitchen… I have to admit that my timing and measuring skills are questionable when it comes to recipe-following. But my favorite thing to do is prep and clean. I find chopping vegetables and cleaning the dishes as I go to be so therapeutic.
B+C: What’s your favorite self-care activity?
AP: I mean, who doesn’t love a massage? To be more specific, I’ve found that pilates sessions feel like a massage of my muscles and has become essential to my breath, well-being, and self-care. Also trying to find a beach with lots of sunshine to just lie in for a couple days is an annual necessity for me. Relaxing in that Vitamin D does wonders for every part of me… I’m not sure if lying in the sun counts as an activity, but hey, self-care is unique to each of us.
B+C: What’s your favorite pump-up song?
AP: Oo honestly it depends on the vibe of what I’m getting pumped up for. I’m the person who forgoes any control over the pump up playlist in any setting. Play any song and I’ll jam to it. I’m always up for BlackPink though.
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Featured image via Corinne Louie Photography.
