These Gratitude Books Could Be the Mood Boost You Need Right Now

Are there really assigned roles in friend groups or am I just imagining things?

Like I said before, it can seem like you and your friends unintentionally gravitate toward certain 'roles.' It's not like anyone woke up one day and decided, "I'm going to be the 'mother hen' of the group," but it tends to happen. Why?

Paruolo says, "In my clinical work, I've consistently observed that our friendship roles often mirror our early family dynamics. These patterns show up naturally — think about who in your friend group gets the first crisis call, who plans all the gatherings, or who everyone turns to for emotional support." I'm willing to bet you thought of a name for each scenario — including yours — because I know I did!

"Like in families, we each fall into specific roles that feel familiar to us," Paruolo further explains.

What actually makes someone an empathetic person?

There's so many definitions for empathy, but I thought it would be wise to ask a licensed professional for her opinion on the matter. "Empathy means to feel what others are feeling. You do not have to have a personal direct experience with something to feel empathy for another person," shares Paruolo.

For example, your friend could call to tell you she has to have fibroid removal surgery and is feeling scared. You may have never had surgery, but you could find yourself feeling the need to comfort her in spite of this. Paruolo says, "The cool thing about our brains is that we have mirror neurons, which means part of our brain is set up to feel what others feel. The ability to attune to others' emotional states comes naturally to some people, while others may need to develop this capacity more consciously."

To break it down even further, here's signs that Paruolo says point to your empathetic nature.

Physical Signs:

• Getting physically exhausted after being in crowds
• Feeling drained after social interactions, even enjoyable ones (OMG I feel so seen!)
• Needing extra time alone to recharge

Emotional Signs:

• Absorbing other people's emotions like a sponge
• Feeling anxious or overwhelmed in emotionally charged environments
• Finding it hard to watch violence or cruelty in movies/TV

Social Signs:

• Feeling responsible for others' happiness
• Having trouble saying "no" to people who need help

Mental Signs:

• Picking up on subtle changes in others' moods
• Being highly attuned to body language and tone
• Finding it hard to distinguish your feelings from others' feelings

It sounds like I'm the empathetic friend, but are there any downsides to this?

I've been an empath for as long as I can remember and I've found that I have to 'recharge' my social batteries at times. I thought it was because I was trying to be superwoman by fixing others' problems, but it turns out theres more to it than that. Paruolo says, "Empathetic friends and people have an uncanny ability to sense others' emotional states even when unspoken, and frequently need recovery time after intense social interactions. They tend to be deeply affected by others' experiences and naturally consider situations from multiple perspectives."

In the long run, she says it can be "distressing" for some people to always feel the feelings of others. Over time, she says, "it can cause you to shut down and retract." This can look like not being as quick to respond to the funny memes your friends send you or not even answering their phone calls right away.

But, this doesn't mean you're the only person who tends to go through this. "Many empaths struggle with maintaining boundaries due to their deep emotional attunement," she says. Color me guilty because this sounds so much like me. It got so bad at one point that my sister nicknamed me 'Captain Save-A-Lot,' which is actually the clean version of what she truly meant. Still, empathy fatigue is no laughing matter nor does it mean you're defected. You just have the natural ability to show people their feelings are important to you.

How can I protect my peace as the empathetic friend?

You know you need to set boundaries, but what does that mean? Paruolo says, "The key is understanding that empathy needs to be balanced with compassion - it's not just about feeling others' emotions but also knowing how to help without depleting yourself."

One of the things she loves to do is "encourage empaths to set clear boundaries around their emotional availability and make time for regular grounding exercises." As with gratitude journaling, try to focus on an activity that calls for you to be present. Focus on what you can hear, see, touch, taste, and smell.

"Self-care isn't just a luxury; it's essential maintenance for empaths. This might mean scheduling alone time, finding a supportive therapist, or joining communities where you can process your experiences," Paruolo implores.

I know how to be there for others, but how do I ask for emotional support when I need it?

You may feel like it's impossible to ask others for help since your shoulders are the ones people cry on, but you're only doing yourself a disservice by not speaking up. No one's super resilient or able to handle all of their distressing feelings alone. We're not meant to.

It's the reason Paruolo wants you to speak up about what you need. "The most effective approach I've seen is being direct about your needs rather than hoping others will figure them out," she says. I made this mistake during postpartum and found myself expecting my family & friends to know exactly how I felt, but they're not mind readers. The more I verbally asked for help with little or big tasks, the more my mental and emotional load lightened.

Paruolo wants you to look at "asking for support as strengthening your friendships through trust and vulnerability, instead of waiting until you're overwhelmed." By the time you reach that point, you'll be ready to enter rage or full-blown shut down mode and they're not fun.

Avoid unlocking their proverbial doors by scheduling "regular check-ins with trusted friends," suggests Paruolo. "This creates a sustainable support system and helps prevent emotional crisis points.

A Gratitude Journaling Idea For When You're Worried About The Future

Write Down 5 Things You're Grateful You Can See, Touch, Hear, And Smell

This is actually a practice I picked up in therapy to help redirect my anxious thoughts. It's something I often refer to when I'm fixated on the future and things that might happen. Any time you feel yourself not being present because you're worried about what's next, focus on things that are immediately in front of you or around you.

For example, here's what's reminding me to be present:

• I can hear one of my favorite gospel songs playing and the subtle humming I'm doing.
• I can see two lime green books on my desk.
• I can smell the clean laundry my fiancé took out of the dryer.
• I'm touching the keys on my keyboard as I type this.

Gratitude Journaling Idea For When You're Experiencing Sadness

Write Down 3 Things You're Grateful For Today

Practicing gratitude when you're sad isn't so you can pretend the sadness doesn't exist. It's a very real emotion that calls for us to be curious about why we're feeling that way. However, if you feel like you're 'stuck' in your sadness, you can try writing down 3 things you're grateful for right now. Again, they don't have to be grandiose. They just have to make sense to you.

You could be grateful for:

• Eating a delicious meal
• Having a good night's sleep
• Hearing your favorite song at the right moment
• Morning snuggles with your pet or toddler
• Having access to binge watch your favorite TV show when you need to escape reality for a bit

Write Down The People You're Grateful You Can Rely On

My hope is that everyone has at least one person they can rely on during difficult moments in life. I know everyone doesn't have huge villages for different reasons, but I'd rather focus on who is there.

This gratitude journaling idea doesn't require you to go in depth about why you're grateful for the people in your corner unless you want to. You can simply write their names down if that's all you have the bandwidth for.

Recount A Memory That Always Makes You Smile

When in doubt, think about a moment that was hilarious or filled you with joy. It can be from your childhood, first year in college, or even your wedding day! The one memory that always makes me smile is from an interesting moment I told one of my uncles he looked like Santa Claus. I was around 5 or 6 years old, so it was a super innocent comment, but still it was hilarious nonetheless. No one in my family has let my uncle or me forget that moment. It's small, but it's one of the memories I'm grateful I can remember when I'm feeling sad.

A Gratitude Journaling Idea For When You Feel You're Not Doing Enough

Write Down 1 Thing You've Grateful You've Accomplished

I know some journal prompts ask you to list multiple things you've recently accomplished, but I've found that makes me a little more anxious that necessary. If this sounds like you, I see you and think it's just as impactful to be grateful for one thing you've done that you're proud of. It could be as simple as:

• "I had the strength to get out of bed today after wanting to do nothing more than hide under the covers."
• "I did laundry and put everything away."
• "I made myself a meal instead of ordering lunch like I usually do."
• "I stuck to my budget this week."
• "My presentation at work or school went really well."
• "I made that scary phone call I've been putting off."
• "I went for a walk around my neighborhood or local park."

Stars Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo, as well as director Jon M. Chu, welcomed the cast with open arms — literally. "[They] would hug everyone who came in," he says. "The first day I think every actor had a minimum two-hour meeting with Jon just to walk through all of the designs and all the things and talk about character. And so from from the very beginning, it just felt like it's really safe...This huge movie is something that we've been waiting for for 20 years on a big scale with the biggest stars in the world, it could have felt really intimidating and it felt really familial immediately."

And part of that family dynamic meant there was a lot of laughing, even if there weren't too many pranks. "There was a lot of just hanging out and giggling on set. I think Jon and Michelle [Yeoh] have a real special — they go back and so they were really funny...All of the people in this cast from afar are so intimidating. It's Michelle Yeoh, like, it's Jeff Goldblum. And then in person, they're just down to clown and it was so fun. I don't know if [there were] pranks, I was too nervous to do pranks. And I think people were kind and didn't prank me, but there was a lot of giggles."

With Ariana Grande's natural humor and SNL star Bowen Yang, it's no wonder some of the funniest moments happened during the Shiz University scenes. "I cannot wait for like the roll out of everything that Bowen said that isn't in the movie, or Ari, honestly, said that isn't in the movie. Just take after take."

"It's hard not to [laughing while filming]," he continues. "I think we were pretty good. But the moments where somebody broke, it was always great. There's one that's seared into my memory of, in Doctor Dillamond's classroom, I don't remember what Ari said but she got Cynthia and it's just the two of them across the way and they're staring at each other and she got her so good. There's something really wonderful about breaking. It's delightful."

Another standout scene featuring the Shiz students is "Dancing Through Life," and the number's rehearsal is one of Ethan Slater's most memorable days on Wicked. "We had a rehearsal with, I don't know, maybe 100 dancers working on 'Dancing Through Life' and Jon came down, this was really early on and he gathered all the dancers around and he gave this speech [where] he basically told the story about how he fell in love with filmmaking," he says. "And it was because of dancers and it was because of the collaboration between dancers and the camera. And he was like, 'We're all in this together. And if you need anything, find me. I'm in the director's chair, but I'm accessible.' And he was, I would sit next to him and watch take after take and he would like point things [out]. He was just so generous."

Is directing something Ethan himself would be interested in? "There's so much I have to learn, but I'm excited to learn it," he says. "And I write and I love writing for the screen and all of that someday I would love to take that on. But I think I'm self aware enough to know that it might be a little ways down the line."

Now, bringing it back to the "Dancing Through Life" of it all, I couldn't help but dance in my seat throughout the song, and Ethan Slater promises it was just as fun to film as it is to watch. "[Jonathan Bailey] the most charismatic human on the planet, it's nuts," he says. "That whole scene was so fun and it was fun. Jonny and Ari are so funny, they're just an incredible duo and they're so funny individually."

"What you can't see is that even in the shots that I'm not in, I'm like, just right here [off camera]," he continues. "I'm just like really close by just out of frame which is like a little Easter egg just for me, you know, watching it and be like, 'Oh I was there!' But I just got to sort of be around in their orbit. They're magnetic, both of them."

While his character Boq spends the whole film nursing a huge crush on Glinda, Ethan Slater actually swept Ariana Grande off her feet IRL. The duo made headlines when they reportedly coupled up while filming, but Ethan says he still feels like a middle schooler when it comes to romance — and that "just existing" means he embarrasses himself in front of his crushes.

"I definitely am a person who suddenly can't speak or just be like, 'Oh my God, good morning and thank you for coming,'" he says, pretending to tear up. "That is kind of my MO and always has been. I think I've never left the place of feeling like a 7th grader." I guess we're all just fools in love!

"Dancing Through Life" is just one number Wicked fans have been looking forward to — "Popular" and "Defying Gravity" are two of the most recognizable showtunes, and they're so recognizable that a line from "Defying Gravity," "Everyone Deserves The Chance To Fly," became the tagline for the film.

"The message that 'what makes us different makes us unique' is really powerful, and I think it's two-fold," Ethan Slater says. "One is, it's empowering to each person that you do deserve it, you deserve happiness, you deserve to be seen and you deserve to do the great things that you want to be doing. But also as a directive, you know, the way that we treat others. It's not just me that deserves that, it's you. And making sure that you treat others the way that you would want to be treated, or to acknowledge the humanity in others that it's so easy to acknowledge in yourself. So I think it's both things. I think it's both empowering and it's like a good way to treat people."

What does Ethan pick when he wants to sing? (No, it's not Spongebob). "Honestly, if I just want to like belt at the top of my lungs, I go to Jesus Christ Superstar. I do "Heaven On Their Minds." It's so good. It's incredible. Talk about a great movie musical."

While the fan (and theatre kid) reactions have been incredible so far, Ethan Slater says he loved talking to the original Wicked cast. "I've become very close with Chris Fitzgerald, who was the original Boq and with Norbert Leo Butz who is the original Fiyero," he says. "So after they saw it, I got to talk with them a little bit about what it was like to see and that was really meaningful. Not just because they're friends of mine and not just because I look up to them, but because it meant a lot to me that I took care of Boq, this role that Chris created. And he's, the best of the best so that was really cool."