The Golden Bachelorette has officially been greenlit to be released this fall, and the very first Golden Bachelorette has officially been named!
Scroll on for everything we know about the upcoming TV show, including casting announcements and premiere date details.
Who is the Golden Bachelorette?
Joan Vassos, a 61 year-old school administrator, will star in the upcoming The Golden Bachelorspinoff as the Golden Bachelorette. She was a contestant on The Golden Bachelor's first season, but chose to leave the show to be with her daughter who was experiencing a medical emergency at the time.
The Golden Bachelor, Gerry Turner, shared his congratulations towards Joan via an Instagram post reading:
"Dear Joan, congratulations on being named the first ever Golden Bachelorette. You will be phenomenal as the new representative of a generation. From one Golden to another... relax, breathe, and enjoy. Gerry."
Winner of The Golden Bachelor, Theresa Nist, spread more love via Instagram Stories. She shared a few smiley photos of her and Joan together with the caption reading: "My dear friend, Joan, I am so excited for you!!"
Who will be part of "The Golden Bachelorette"?
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Jonathan, Pascal, Pablo, Gregg, Jordan, David, Charles, R.J., Gil, Michael, Bill, Guy, Chock, Gary, Keith, Ken, Bob, Mark, Charles, Jack, Dan, Kim, Christopher, and Thomas
The men of The Golden Bachelorette have been announced and it looks like they're going to keep Joan on her toes because they're hot!
If you don't feel like counting, there's 24 sexy grandpas who'll be competing for a chance to win the #1 spot in Joan's romantic life and they have amazing backgrounds.
According to Entertainment Weekly, here's everything you need to know about them:
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Bill, Retired Videographer
Age: 68
City: Portland, OR
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Bob, Chiropractor
Age: 66
City: Marina Del Rey, CA
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Charles K., Portfolio Manager
Age: 62
City: Ranchos Palos Verdes, CA
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Charles L., Retired Financial Analyst
Age: 66
City: Philadelphia, PA
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Chock, Insurance Executive
Age: 60
City: Wichita, KA
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Christopher S., Contractor
Age: 64
City: West Babylon, NY
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Dan R., Private Investor
Age: 64
City: Naples, FL
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
David H., Rancher
Age: 68
City: Austin, TX
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Gary L., Retired Finance Executive
Age: 65
City: Palm Desert, CA
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Gil R., Educator
Age: 60
City: Mission Viejo, CA
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Gregg L., Retired University Vice President
Age: 64
City: Longboat Key, FL
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Guy C., Emergency Room Doctor
Age: 66
City: Reno, NV
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Jack L., Caterer
Age: 68
City: Chicago, IL
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Jonathan R., Shipping Consultant
Age: 61
City: Oakland, IA
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Jordan H., Sales Manager
Age: 61
City: Chicago, IL
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Keith G., Girl Dad
Age: 62
City: San Jose, CA
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Ken O., Property Management Treasurer
Age: 60
City: Peabody, MA
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Kim B., Retired Navy Captain
Age: 69
City: Seattle, WA
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Mark A., Army Veteran
Age: 57
City: Leesville, LA
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Michael S., Retired Banking CEO
Age: 65
City: Denver, NC
Pablo, Retired UN Agency Advisor
Age: 63
City: Cambridge, MD
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Pascal, Salon Owner
Age: 69
City: Chicao, IL
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
R.J., Financial Advisor
Age: 66
City: Irvine, CA
Disney/Ricky Middlesworth
Thomas H., FDNY Chief
Age: 62
City: New York, NY
When will "The Golden Bachelorette" air?
Disney/Ramona Rosales
The Golden Bachelorette airs September 18 on ABC! You'll also be able to stream episodes on Hulu.
How can I watch "The Golden Bachelorette"?
According to ABC, The Golden Bachelorette will air on ABC and be available to stream on Hulu the following day. Historically, the different installments of The Bachelor have aired on Thursdays at 8pm ET.
What is the cast of "The Golden Bachelor" up to now?
It just so happens that our most beloved contestants from The Golden Bachelor, Kathy and Susan, have been working on a podcast titled Bachelor Happy Hour: Golden Hour. They've posted tons of episodes dishing on The Golden Bachelor experience.
The pair definitely showed some real chemistry during the first-ever Golden Bachelor, and the podcast is a true testament to their friendship.
“We can finish each other's sentences,” Susan told PhillyVoice about Kathy. “We're night and day, but yet we're the same in a sense. We just roll off each other, and it's so easy.”
As far as the winners of The Golden Bachelor, Gerry and Theresa, things worked out for a bit, but they mutually decided to end their marriage in April 2024. Many speculated that they split because they had settled down in different places of the country and found it hard to relocate for love.
“We looked at homes in South Carolina, we considered New Jersey, and we just looked at homes after home,” Theresa said during an interview on Good Morning America, “but we never got to the point where we made that decision.”
How successful was "The Golden Bachelor"?
According to Variety, the first installment of The Golden Bachelor reached about 43.4 million viewers, making it ABC’s most-watched unscripted premiere on Hulu. The finale amassed 6.1 million viewers, deeming it the biggest episode in Bachelor history in nearly 3 years.
We had so much fun watching the very first installment of The Golden Bachelor, that we just can’t wait to see the roles reversed for The Golden Bachelorette. The hype is very real!
Check back here for more updates on The Golden Bachelorette!
Header image via Disney/Ramona Rosales
This post has been updated.
When it comes to New Year's Eve celebrations, the first thought that probably springs to mind is boozing it up with an NYE cocktail. And while there's nothing wrong with sipping some bubbly (if that's your inclination), those of us who prefer to keep thingsnon-alc may feel like there are no New Year's-appropriate activities for our preferences. We say that nothing could be further from the truth! Whether you're pregnant, abstaining, or just taking a break from the booze, here are 10 fun ideas for ringing in 2025, the sober way.
Attend A Silent Disco
A few years ago, just as the sober-curious movement was gaining steam, companies like Daybreaker brought 6 a.m. sober dance parties to the masses. In a similar vein are remote silent discos – events where you put your headphones on and dance it out to the music of world-class DJs right in the comfort of your own home (or in person, if you feel like venturing out).
A quick Google search will reveal that there are tons of options to shake it off on New Year's Eve, whether remotely or in-person in your city. Because silent discos have an alternative vibe, they're much more sober-friendly than traditional clubs and dance parties.
Make A Tea Bar
Photo by Jill Wellington / PEXELS
If you've ever been to a party where they had aProsecco bar or something similar, you know how fun themed bars can be. Why not make a NA equivalent with a tea bar? We're not just talking about hot water and tea bags... include exciting staples like bubble tea, kombucha, Southern-style sweet iced tea, and more!
Do A Goal-Setting Ritual
Brit + Co
Not in the mood to party this year? Celebrate the New Year with some introspection by doing a goal-setting ritual. You can design the ritual in whatever manner you like, but we recommend something along the lines of:
- Light a candle and sit quietly for a few minutes.
- Whip out your journal and take inventory of the last year: What were your best memories? What are you grateful for? Where do you think you could've improved?
- In your journal (we have some killer prompts to start you off), mindfully list out your goals for 2025. They don't have to be New Year's resolutions, exactly, but include small steps you can take in the new year to help you achieve your goals!
Make A 2025 Scrapbook
Brit + Co
Before New Year's Eve, head to your local craft store and pick up some supplies for making an old-fashioned scrapbook. Print out some photos from your most treasured memories of the year (we like printing with Walgreens), and gather any magazines you purchased or journal entries you wrote.
You can also look up some news headlines that made an impact on you, and print out the article as well as photos of any notable celebs or politicians who made the news. On New Year's eve, put together a scrapbook of what made 2024, 2024.
Good, bad, or otherwise, the year was one to remember — so create a momento that will help you re-live the past year in the years to come.
Plan A Costume Party
Brit + Co
Believe it or not, masquerade balls, dressing up in costumes, and concealing one's identity have a long history in the historical celebrations of Christmastime. So we think a New Year's costume party is a fully appropriate idea for a sober New Year's Eve.
Who needs booze to have fun when you can dress up as whoever you want for a night of merriment and mystery?
Karaoke It Up
Photo by Mikhail Nilov / PEXELS
Another fun party pastime that's fun with or without booze? Singing! Grab some friends for a sober karaoke night either at your house or a private karaoke room. The singing's bound to be better than it would be if you were imbibing... who knows, maybe you'll steal the show with your rendition of "I'm Just Ken."
Cook A Fancy Meal
Whether you're spending the evening with your S/O or your BFF, cook a fancydinner for two. New Year's Eve is the perfect time to get fancy with food, so use this opportunity to ring in 2025 with only the finest cuisine. Don't forget to make a mocktail to go with!
Host A Game Night
Brit + Co
Bring all your besties over and host a board game night that's sure to be one for the books. Have everyone bring their favorite game – from Cards Against Humanity to Codenames – for a riotous evening that will remind you that you absolutely don't need booze to have a rowdy night of laughter!
Play 2024 Trivia
Photo by Askar Abayev / PEXELS
Before New Year's Eve, compile a long list of trivia questions about 2024. Alternatively, have a friend do it for you, or do a quick Google search... there are a lot of trivia quizzes out there. On the big night, gather your squad together to see how much you remember about 2024. The results may surprise you!
Host A Murder-Mystery Dinner
Image via Amazon
Murder-mystery dinners are still one of the best ways to facilitate a heart-racing and mind-boggling party. Pick up one of the many murder mystery dinner kits out there and have your besties over for a night of thinking on your toes — to be fair, it's probably best to skip the booze for this idea anyway, for the sake of your mental acuity.
Are you planning a sober New Year's Eve party this year? Tweet us @BritandCo to share your plans, and don't forget to subscribe to our newsletter for more booze-free hacks and party ideas!
Brit + Co. may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations. This post has been updated.
We can't believe that the first season of The Golden Bachelor and the subsequent wedding are over! Where did the time go?! We thought Golden Bachelor, Gerry Turner, and winner of the show, Theresa Nist, would've drifted off into happily ever after, but we guess life had other plans for them since they're now getting divorced. It's certainly heartbreaking given how much they enjoyed spending time together, but only they know what's best for them!
Here's everything we know about their divorce following their publicized The Golden Bachelor wedding!
Theresa Nist Speaks Out About The End Of "The Golden Bachelor" Marriage
Image via John Fleenor/Disney
Theresa Nist took to Instagram to share her thoughts about the end of her marriage to Gerry Turner. She's aware that everyone has opinions about what happened, but she's asking for people to be considerate as they navigate a new process. She partially wrote, "For everyone else who is confused and angry and who does not understand, please try to find it in your heart to understand and to try a little kindness...Sometimes things don’t go the way you planned and that’s okay."
It seems like she's doing her best to remain positive in light of everything that's happened. We can only imagine how scary it is to open yourself up to love in the public eye and become the topic of everyone's conversation.
"The Golden Bachelor" Couple Are Ending Their Marriage
Image via Disney/John Fleenor
Just when we thought things were working well for "The Golden Bachelor" couple, they decided to announce the end of their short-lived marriage on Good Morning America. Gerry Turner told host Juju Chang, "Theresa and I have had a number of heart-to-heart conversations, and we’ve looked closely at our situation, our living situation, so forth and -- and we’ve kind of come to the conclusion mutually that it’s probably time for us to -- dissolve our marriage."
Theresa Nist clarified that she doesn't want the people who rooted for them to believe love and marriage are hopeless. "We want none of that to change for anybody," she said.
We're sure that they truly had a connection, but it's not easy trying to navigate merging your life with someone no matter how old you are. It seems that Gerry and Theresa couldn't bear the thought of one of them being separated from their families, ultimately resulting in the tough decision that getting married may not have been the best thing to do.
We hope that they take as much time as they need to continue navigating their decision to end their public marriage.
"The Golden Bachelor" Blended Family Went On "Celebrity Family Feud"
Disney / John Fleenor
Gerry and Theresa's newly-blended family revealed that they filmed an episode of Celebrity Family Feud in early April – and their opposing team wasn't that unfamiliar!
Theresa's daughter Jen posted some behind-the-scenes photos on Instagram, noting that the family went up against more Bachelor Nation members like Joey Graziadei, Kelsey Anderson, Charity Lawson, Dotun Olubeko, Zach Shallcross, and Kaity Biggar for their episode of Celebrity Family Feud.
Jen also gave us loose details about when the episode would officially air, writing in the caption of her Instagram post: "you’ll have to watch to see how it went down but no I’m not really sure when it’s going to be on… August?!"
Gerry posted a little preview too, saying that he "had a GREAT time at Celebrity Family Feud with the blended family."
Gerry's daughter Angie seemed super excited about being on Celebrity Family Feud as well, writing in her Instagram post that her dreams were fulfilled being on the show.
"Since I was little I wanted to be on family feud," she wrote. "I would dream about it and assemble my team in my mind. Yesterday…it happened!!!! We played celebrity family feud!!! It was so much fun."
A Recap Of "The Golden Bachelor" Wedding
Disney / John & Joseph Photography
Gerry and Theresa got married during a live taping of The Golden Wedding, and there were hardly any dry eyes during their sweet ceremony. To help them celebrate their new nuptials, former The Golden Bachelor contestant Susan Noles was their officiant. It felt like a full circle moment for Bachelor Nation, because more familiar faces could be seen in the audience, like Trista and Ryan Sutter.
Peoplereports that Gerry and Theresa's respective daughters gave heartfelt speeches that touched everyone. Gerry's daughters Angie and Jenny shared how proud they are of their dad before turning their attention to Theresa. Jenny said, "he found a fantastic woman that is beautiful inside and out to spend the rest of his life with."
Theresa's daughter Jen echoed their sentiments. She said, "we're beyond thrilled that you’ve brought us together as family."
Towards the end of the ceremony, Gerry could be heard telling guests, "I have a whole new outlook on life because of this journey and because of this woman." So cute!
An Inside Look At The Golden Wedding
Disney / John & Joseph Photography
Jen Woolston, Amanda Nist
Gerry and Theresa's daughters were all smiles as they walked down the aisle.
Disney / John & Joseph Photography
Rob Young, Matt Woolston
Gerry and Theresa's son-in-laws also walked down the aisle in tailored navy blue suits.
Disney / John & Joseph Photography
Joey Graziadei, Faith Martin, Natascha Hardee, Brayden Bowers, and Christina Mandrell
The guests couldn't take their eyes off Gerry and Theresa! We love to see it!
Disney / John & Joseph Photography
A final look at the newlyweds!
Everything Gerry And Theresa Said About "The Golden Bachelor" Wedding
Disney / John Fleenor
After a long season, Gerry finally found his sweetheart. Theresa Nist, a financier from New Jersey, won the show with the ultimate gesture of love: a darling proposal from Gerry at the season finale! Despite the joyous ending, picking a final woman wasn't an easy decision for Gerry:
“I met some of the women and recognized they were beautiful and gracious and intelligent, but they weren't the right woman for me,” Gerry told People. “I had to find the right person.”
The lovely couple couldn't stop gushing about how thrilled they were as their big day approached. Their respective families are also over the moon, with Theresa's daughter and Gerry's granddaughters jumping on the opportunity to help celebrate.
“My daughter, she's seen a million weddings and she is incredible," Theresa said of her daughter, Jen. "She's put together the vision board. She's asking me, ‘Do you like this? Do you like this?’ And I go, ‘Wow, okay, I don't even have to do this. This is awesome.’ She's handling it pretty much.”
Gerry's daughters and granddaughters also attended the wedding.
“They're all involved,” he said. “There's a spot for every family member in the wedding party. We wouldn't have it any other way. It’s going to be spectacular.”
"The Golden Bachelor" Fantasy Suites Recap
Disney / John Fleenor
The Golden Bachelor fantasy suites episode followed Gerry and the last two contestants, Leslie and Theresa all the way to Costa Rica, where they were given the opportunity to get... closer.
Sure, the fantasy suites provides massive potential for physical connection (or "knocking boots," as Gerry put it), but the Golden Bach was focused on emotions more than anything this time around:
“[To] ask the difficult questions that are strictly between two people, and also have the opportunity to be physically intimate with each other,” he said on the show. “At this age, it’s more gentle, it’s slow, it’s something you can savor, because it’s something that’s the most special [thing] you can have.”
Before he could elicit official invites for the fantasty suites, Gerry took both women on some *quite* adventurous individual dates. He rappelled down a waterfall with Leslie, and rode horses through the wilderness with Theresa. At the end of each date, he asked each woman to join him in the fantasty suite.
Whether boots were knocked or not, it was hard to narrow down who Gerry was really into after the fantasy suites episode. He told both Leslie and Theresa "I love you," but Gerry ultimately made a decision about who won his heart over.
“I headed towards the end, I was really in conflict about several of the women,” Gerry told People. “As very specific events occurred, it really helped me gain clarity on what I wanted to do.”
When and where can I watch "The Golden Bachelor"?
Since the series' first season is officially over, you can stream allThe Golden Bachelor episodes on Hulu.
Who's the first Golden Bachelor?
ABC / Brian Bowen Smith
71-year-old Gerry Turner is the leading man on the spin-off series. Describing himself as "71 years young," the Indiana-based widower, father of two, grandfather, and retired restauranteur believes that it's "never too late to fall in love again."
Gerry was previously married to his high school sweetheart, Toni, who died in 2017 after becoming ill just six weeks after she retired. In an interview with Good Morning America, Gerry said that in her last weeks, all Toni wanted for him was happiness.
"For a while, I was having a hard time figuring out if she was okay... but we always told each other, when one of us goes, we want the other to be happy. She's up there rooting. She's saying, 'Yeah, Gerry, do this!'"
What is "The Golden Bachelor" about?
ABC / John Fleenor
The Golden Bachelor gives seniors another shot at love, following one hopeless romantic in search of a partner to share their sunset years with. Promising to “showcase a whole new kind of love story,” the show carves out space for women who have a whole lifetime of experience living through love, loss, and laughter to meet their forever.
Each of the 22 women invited to the show hopes for a spark that ignites a future full of possibilities. In the end, the Golden Bachelor is set to find everlasting love in just one of them.
Angie and Jenny, Gerry's two daughters, were "very excited" about their dad's role on The Golden Bachelor. When asked about what he was looking for in a future Mrs. Turner, he says he's looking for someone with "high energy," who might even play pickleball and golf. Even now, there's no slowing down Gerry!
How many women are a part of "The Golden Bachelor"?
The Golden Bachelor started with a total of 22 women who are 60+ years of age. We love that the series was intentional about featuring a cast who's near the same age group as Gerry.
Which contestants stood out the most?
Every season, there’s always a handful of contestants who make unforgettable first impressions, and this time was no different.
Some of the most noteworthy ladies from the show included Sandra, a 75-year-old retired executive assistant from Doraville, Georgia. The most seasoned of the bunch kicked her first interaction with Gerry off with a sensual meditation session where she proclaimed her love for the “F” and “S” words. Same girl, same.
Theresa, a 70-year-old financial services professional from Shrewsbury, New Jersey, bared it all on her first meeting with Gerry. It was her cake day after all, and she figured there was no better time to show off her birthday suit than the show's first episode. LOL.
Faith, a 60-year-old high school teacher from Benton City, Washington, exuded cool-girl energy with a head-turning stunt. Riding in on a motorcycle with hair whipping, and even shocking audiences with a guitar solo, there’s no surprise that she walked away with a little kiss (and the first impression rose).
One of our favorite step-outs of the first night was Leslie, 64, who left the limo in a gray wig, a muumuu nightgown, and a walker to boot. But – after pulling off the guise to reveal a show-stopping sparklingly dress, the retired dancer proved that she’s anything but geriatric. And also, apparently Prince ( yes, *the* Prince) wrong a song about her?! Talk about an “it" girl.
Stay updated on the latest entertainment news with Brit + Co!
Lead photo via Disney / John Fleenor.
This post has been updated. Previous reporting by Olivia Taylor and Kaitlyn Ingram.
As fun as Trader Joe’s snacks and desserts are, there’s one aisle you definitely should not skip – and that’s their plant section. Trader Joe’s is constantly stocking up on blooms like orchids and monsteras, all of which are easy to take care of once they make it home from the store.
Any houseplant lover knows the easiest of all easy houseplants is the famed pothos. I can water mine (I have about 5 pothos plants) once every two weeks, and they will. not. die. Right now, Trader Joe’s is selling pothos for cheap – but not just any pothos. They currently come along with a stunning hanging pot that you’ll instantly want to put up in your home.
Scroll on to discover more about this unique Trader Joe’s plant find!
That’s right – Trader Joe’s shelves now include disco ball hanging planters. I repeat: disco ball hanging planters! The sphere-shaped pot is covered in reflective disco tiles that’ll certainly make your living room feel like a dance club. The best part is that pothos plants naturally look amazing when they’re grown hanging, so you can watch this baby flourish all year long.
TJ’s fan account @traderjoesobsessed recently spotted the disco ball hanging planters at their local Trader Joe’s and shared the new find with their Instagram followers. Tons of them chimed in about their excitement for the product in the comments!
“I need this now😍,” one person commented.
“The way I gasped when I saw this 😍🪩,” another said.
“I bought one today and totally love it👍,” someone else commented.
“I suddenly need to buy more plants,” one more person wrote.
Several shoppers in the comment section noted that they were able to track down the disco ball hanging planters pretty easily, while others reported that they haven’t seen them in their stores quite yet. This is your sign to keep an eye out on your next TJ’s trip!
@traderjoesobsessed reports that the disco ball hanging planters go for $12.99 in stores. Their affordable price makes them such a great gift for yourself or a loved one, plus the sparkles on the disco ball are perfect for livening up your space for a New Year’s refresh.
Run to TJ’s soon – I know I will!
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By now, you may be able to recognize signs of gaslighting or other toxicbehaviors, but do you know how to take everything you've learned and become a super compatible couple? According to experts, there are a few key things super compatible couples rarely argue about — even with whatever faults each person brings to the relationship table. While the topics these couples avoid may not surprise you, the reason why they're able to avoid them might. But first, let's talk about what makes couples more compatible than others.
Dr. Brooke Keels, Ph.D., LPC-MHSP, LPC-Supervisor, Chief Clinical Officer at Lighthouse Recovery, has this to say: "Couples are compatible when they share similar values, goals, and know the best way to communicate with each other." Notice she didn't say these couples are just alike.
More so, she explains that "it's about how well they handle differences, whether they can support each other through tough times, and how they connect emotionally." Dr. Keels adds, "when there’s respect, trust, and a good balance of give-and-take between them?" Dr. Keels believes this gives couples a better chance "to be in sync."
Scroll down to see the topics you'll rarely hear compatible couples arguing about!
1. Long-term goals like marriage aren't often a cause for concern.
Have you ever dated someone that made you wonder what you saw in them once you pay attention to certain red flags? You may have found yourself arguing with them about everything from religion to reproductive health, leaving you feeling dizzy afterwards. But Dr. Keels says compatible couples are more likely to be aligned on "whether they want the same things out of life."
Her examples include:
- Relocating for careers
- Family planning
- Finding somewhere to settle down in general (i.e. apartment, condo, different state, close to family, etc.,)
"This common ground lessens the chance of fighting over these big topics," Dr. Keels reiterates.
2. There's a lesser chance arguments about weekend activities occur.
We're no strangers to indecisive moments where we couldn't agree about what to do on the weekends with our partners, but Dr. Keels says compatible couples don't always run into this issue. "When you enjoy similar activities or have overlapping hobbies, you're more like to find ways to unwind together, rather than feeling disconnected or frustrated by each other's choices," she adds.
While it varies from couple to couple, you and your partner may enjoy the following:
- Buying tickets to watch the latest college basketball or football game
- Going to a 'Paint and Sip' class for fun
- Having a mini outdoor picnic
- Visiting a national park if it's on your couple's bucket list
- Spending a day at a local arcade
The possibilities are endless, but all that matters is that "this mutual understanding makes spending time together feel natural and fun," according to Dr. Keels.
3. Communication styles aren't causing a daily disruption.
Some people have a more direct way of communicating while others may be passive or even passive-aggressive. Less arguments aren't happening because compatible couples communicate the same however. "When they both understand each other's communication style — whether it's direct or more subtle — it helps avoid misunderstandings and frustration."
Here's a couple of examples:
- If you're having a bad day that has nothing to do with your partner, they don't take it personal when you prefer some alone time.
- If your partner says something they perceived to be a joke, but you didn't, you're less likely to immediately accuse them of being insensitive. Instead, there's a higher chance of asking what they mean by something and expressing why you didn't like it instead of arguing.
Compatible couples "know how to express their feelings and needs in a way that the other person can easily understand" which makes "it easier to resolve issues calmly," according to Dr. Keels.
Are couples better (or more compatible) because they don't have a lot of arguments?
Well, no. That's actually a stretch because everyone has arguments. "Even compatible couples can argue about everyday things like chores or schedules. No matter how well they get along or how "in sync" they are, little annoyances can still pop up here and there, and cause some tension between them," Dr. Keels shares. "The difference," she points out, "is that they're usually better at handling these moments and keeping them from turning into bigger problems."
The other thing she's seen couples argue about is money. "It's such a common stress point because everyone has different habits and priorities when it comes to spending or saving," she says. But, guess what? "Compatible couples tend to approach the conversation with more understanding and a willingness to find a compromise," she continues.
If you feel like you and your partner aren't on the same page, it may not be time to break up just yet. We've learned that that it can take time to effectively communicate with a romantic partner or understand them. Compatibility is great, but it's not an indicator that a relationship will be smooth sailing!
How can I have healthier disagreements with my partner?
Like we said, getting to a point where you and your partner aren't consistently hurting each other's feelings during disagreements takes time as well as skill. No one's born knowing all the answers so don't think your relationship is over because you're still figuring things out.
Dr. Keels says one way you and your partner can work on the kind of disagreements you're having is by "knowing how to communicate/compromise." Look, we heard your sigh and know it's probably the antithesis of how you feel. We struggled with compromising, but you don't get far in life thinking that everyone else has to bend to your will all the time.
"Even if they don’t see eye to eye all the time, healthy couples listen to each other's perspectives, and look for solutions that work for both of them. It’s not about 'winning' the argument and getting to say who's right, but finding common ground so they can move forward together," adds Dr. Keels.
Also, "staying respectful event when things get heated or when you're upset" is a way to have a productive arguments, according to Dr. Keels. What happens is that "healthy couples avoid yelling or saying hurting things during disagreements," she says. This means no cursing or raising voices to the point your next door neighbors feel they have to call the police to do a wellness check on you.
"Instead, they just focus on the real problem and stay calm, which helps them work through the issue without hurting each other and the relationship," Dr. Keels says. And in the event you and your partner can't find common ground in a given moment? She highly suggests you "take breaks or pause when things get too heated."
Couples who do this "know when to step away and cool off before continuing the conversation," she adds. There are times where it's difficult to have a proper conversation when you're anxious or angry, so it's always better to revisit the topic.
Dr. Keels agrees and says, "This gives them a chance to cool down first so they can properly think things through, and think of a solution that works for both of them without saying anything they might regret."
Visit more of our relationships articles to find more advice about navigating friendships and love.