7 Things Bachelorette Contestants Are Doing RIGHT That You’re Prob Doing Wrong

Lisa Raphael
Jul 28, 2015

On this, the night of The Bachelorette finale, as Kaitlyn Bristowe chose (spoiler) ugh, totally the wrong guy. I feel the need to explain my own misguided but earnest love of this show. I have a good excuse for why I started watching The Bachelor/ette — work. As an intern for Entertainment Weekly back in 2008, it was necessary that I be up on my reality TV so I dutifully was. I have an even better excuse for why I kept watching — friends. Buds I would have deemed too high brow for a basic cable show about the quest for love (book publishers, social workers, AIDS researchers) organized weekly viewings around a TV and a pizza in a rotating cast of Brooklyn apartments.

When I moved from NY to SF to work for Brit + Co last January, I left my girls and our Monday ritual behind. In the few seasons I took off, the Bachelor/ette(s) went to an island to find love and I to Silicon Valley to search for the same thing in bars and on dating apps. Tuning back in to the show this season to follow Kaitlyn, I saw each episode, every date and all the mascara-tinged tears in a completely new light. Instead of thinking it was “so ridiculous” and “totally made up,” I was pretty humbled by the realness I saw beyond each rose ceremony. Compared to my last year and a half dating about as many men as Kaitlyn gets to whittle down by episode two or three, I was bummed to admit that the guys on the show were better at dating than 90% of the dudes I had grabbed a drink with over the last 18 months and, at times, they were even better than I was at it.

After some deep introspection and DVRing, here are a few things Bachelorette contestants could actually teach us regulars about dating. You might not have Chris Harrison to help you find The One, but maybe my words of television-taught wisdom can guide you on the path to meaningful like like.

1. Be There for the Right Reasons: According to a May study, a crazy 42% of Tinder users are actually in a relationship. GUYS, WTF! Why join a dating app if you’re not actually there to date? I am interested in dating and I don’t even want to use dating apps. What kind of free time do you monsters have?? Is it really the swipe function that’s so intoxicating? If so, let me recommend downloading BuzzFeed’s Cute or Not app which offers the same satisfaction for a fraction of the unmet expectations.

2. Ask Questions: Maybe it’s because the contestants are aware of the cameras rolling. Maybe it’s that they’re well-prepped by producers before each date. Whatever it is, (it’s probably both of those things) it’s refreshing to watch people ask each other questions over dinner and drinks. You know, to like, get to know each other and stuff. When talking to women about what makes a good vs bad date, more often than not a complaint they express to me about their men they’re dating (and, to be fair, I’ve heard this the other way and in same-sex relationships as well) is that the guy just didn’t ask them any questions. Or they did on dates 1 + 2 and then got lazy by date 3. We’ve all witnessed someone (please tell me you saw this story of a woman live tweeting someone’s awful date) sharing their life story without asking nary a Q about their date. Don’t be that guy/girl.

3. Share Your Story: Speaking of sharing life stories, you should do that. In moderation. For a show people like to dismiss as “fake,” being phony on The Bachelor/ette is actually one of the worst offenses that will get you called out by no less than three guys and possibly even Chris H himself. I know some of you might be grossed out by what I’m about to say, but these contestants know their personal brand and it’s easy to see it when they’re telling their potential boo about themselves. Being able to articulate your path and what made you who you are today makes you seem confident and real. Even if your teeth are unnaturally white.

4. Go on Fun Dates: I AM GUILTY OF NOT ABIDING BY THIS RULE. I get it; it’s tough. If you’ve ever been catfished by an OKCupider who doesn’t really look like their photos (cough), it’s difficult to commit to much more than a happy hour drink en route to emergency escape plans. If you’re feeing good about a suitor, play producer and plan a date worth going on. EVEN if that date is just to a bar, make it a favorite, a secret spot that inspires a great story — at leeeast something with Big Buck Hunter in case you run out of things to talk about. If this works out, you’ll have all your life to crack open a beer, order Thai and stay in so try jumpstarting your honeymoon period with something more than $2 PBR.

5. Wear a Gown/Suit and Tie: While this is one of the silliest things about the show — especially The Bachelor, where this visual phenom is multiplied by David’s Bridal dresses for days — there is something legitimately nice about seeing someone wearing their Sunday best on a Saturday date. I’ve shown up for a date wearing a dress to be greeted by a 30-something man wearing (sigh) a hoodie, graphic tee and flip flops. I’m no snob, but take this season of The Bachelorette as proof that a first impression (specifically, a First Impression Rose) can mean something real.

6. Know You’re Not That Deep: There’s an area on OKCupid that suggests “You should message me if…” One of my favorite things I’ve ever seen in that little box is from someone who answered: “that there’s something on your profile that you’re a little bit embarrassed about.”

Taking oneself too seriously is the opposite of sexy. Just ask the guy who got sent home without the comfort of a rose ceremony for being “too deep.” That’s not the ‘tude America falls in love with, Ian.

7. If You Don’t Want to Date Someone, Let Them Know: Crazy, right?! This one will seem obvious to adult humans out there, but probably not adult humans who date regularly. No, you might not have the opportunity to line up all of your suitors in a mansion like they’re in a v fancy, possibly haunted elementary school chorus, guide out the ones you’re not willing to spend a night in a fantasy suite with and let them cry it out in a limo. What you do have though, is the opportunity to call, text, email, face time with a person you’re dating or have gone on dates with to let them know where you’re at.

Bonus: “What I felt for you was greater than a moment.” – Nick, you win for best response to an ill-timed breakup.

(Photos via ABC)

Hilary Duff Is Housing Mandy Moore & Family During LA Fires: "Altadena Strong."

Amid the tragedy of the LA fires, neighbors are opening their homes to one another. In addition to AirBnb offering temporary housing and various YMCAs and Red Cross locations opening their doors, victims are finding safety with friends and family — and that includes your favorite celebrities. Like Hilary Duff and husband Matthew Koma, who opened their home to Mandy Moore, Taylor Goldsmith, and their family.

Here's what Mandy Moore and Griffin Goldsmith have said about Hilary Duff and Matthew Koma — and the LA wildfires.

Despite losing everything, Griffin is touched by Hilary Duff & Matthew Koma.

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A post shared by Dawes (@dawestheband)

After Mandy Moore and Taylor Goldsmith's home was affected by the wildfires in Altadena (they lost their garage, music studio, and back house), Mandy's brother-in-law Griffin Goldsmith revealed the family had been taken in by Hilary Duff.

"All of this so overwhelming," he said on Instagram. "Our dear friends @matthewkoma and @hilaryduff thought it wise to set up a gofundme for us to help with everything moving forward. Not to mention they are currently housing my brother’s family. They’ve taken care of my entire family from the moment this began. I will never be able to thank them adequately. This is the kindest act any human could do for another. They are the most beautiful, selfless people we’ve ever known."

"I’ve never been so moved in my life," he continues. "We are completely blown away. I can’t talk or think about it without crying. Like I said there aren’t words to describe how I feel. I’m doing my best. You all have completely changed what the picture of our future in Los Angeles looks like."

Mandy Moore shared the GoFundMe for Griffin and Kit on Instagram, writing in a since-deleted post that the couple "lost their home and everything they own in the Eaton Fire."

"With their first baby on the way in a matter of weeks, they need our support now more than ever," Mandy says (via People). "Griff is a touring musician and also lost his entire arsenal of drums/percussion he uses to make a living. It’s all so much. So many have asked how to help during this unimaginable and stressful time … Please consider donating and sharing to help them rebuild."

And when people criticized her decision to share the GoFundMe link? "Kindly F OFF."

"People questioning whether we’re helping out our own family or attributing some arbitrary amount of money Google says someone has is NOT helpful or empathetic," she continues. "Of course we are. Our buddy Matt started this GoFundMe and i’m sharing because people have asked how they can help them. We just lost most of our life in a fire too."

And the main part of Mandy Moore's home is still "mostly intact."

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A post shared by Mandy Moore (@mandymooremm)

The Princess Diaries actress shared photos from her family's property, revealing that the main part of their home is still standing. "It’s not livable but mostly intact," she said on Instagram January 10. "We lost Taylor and griffin’s studio with every instrument and piece of equipment they’ve ever owned. We lost our garage and back house. Everyone we know lost everything. Every house on our street is gone. My in laws. My brother and sister in law- 6 weeks from welcoming their first baby. Our best friends. Feeling weird survivors guilt. We love this community and will do everything we can to help rebuild and support. Thanks for everyone for checking on us and offering us help. Altadena strong."

Resources and more information on the LA fires can be found here.

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12 "Outdated" Kitchen Trends You Should Ditch In 2025 (But You Probably Have)

Kitchen renovations are no joke – they're a major investment, so you’ll want to think twice before committing to fleeting trends — especially for big-ticket items like cabinets, countertops, and appliances. I’ll admit it: I’m still without a backsplash five years later because I can’t commit! While it’s perfectly fine to follow your heart if you love a particular look, kitchens can quickly feel outdated when you lean too heavily on short-lived fads. To help you create a timeless, stylish space, we’ve rounded up outdated kitchen trends to avoid — and easy ways to modernize if your kitchen is stuck in the past.

Scroll to see if you have these outdated kitchen trends in your house right now!

Mark McCammon

1. All-White Kitchens

The all-white kitchen craze has officially run its course, often feeling cold and sterile — like say a doctor’s office. Today’s kitchens are all about warmth and character, with palettes in soft neutrals, earthy greens, or bold, moody shades like oxblood and midnight blue. Choose a color that speaks to you for a timeless, inviting space you'll love for years to come.

Pixabay

2. Granite Countertops

This early 2000s trend has been overdone and feels so dated now. Marble, sleek quartz, even butcher block are more classic choices.

Curtis Adams

3. Ornate Cabinetry

The color and detail of this traditional kitchen feels drab and dated. Instead, look for flat-panel or Shaker-style cabinets with clean, minimal lines.

Terry Magallanes

4. Farmhouse Decor

This kitchen is a lesson is don'ts. The grey vinyl flooring (especially hideous!), farmhouse stools, and white cabinetry hail from a decades-old trend that needs to disappear in 2025.

Home Depot

5. Glass Mosaic Tiles

Glass mosaics, popular in the 2000s and 2010s, tend to lean toward a transitional aesthetic, which is the opposite of an organic, minimalist, or vintage-inspired design kitchen are craving now. The grout lines are bit difficult to clean too between all the tiny tiles. Zellige tile or a slab of marble are a more sophisticated look for today's kitchens.

Level 23 Media

6. Black & White

The stark contrast between black and white can come across as harsh and overly dramatic, a look that peaked in the 2010s. The farmhouse sign doesn't help warm it up either. Soften the look with earthy, natural tones.

Curtis Adams

7. Subway Tile

Subway tile is classic, so there’s no need to rip it out if it still brings you joy. However, the white subway tile paired with dark grout has overstayed its welcome. This overdone trend became so ubiquitous that it lost its charm and individuality, leaving kitchens looking more cookie-cutter than full of character.

Amazon

8. Industrial Lighting

This nod to the past needs to, sorry, stay in the past. Look for organic, natural forms and lighting that reflects your kitchen's unique aesthetic.

Shutterstock

9. Tuscan Style

This rustic kitchen feels dated with its heavy, ornate features like dark wood cabinetry and trim. Go for clean, brighter spaces.

Shutterstock

10. Tile Countertops

Natural stone, marble, and wood are trending for 2025. Grout-filled countertops like this one are not. Time to go!

Max Vakhtbovycn

11. Moroccan Mosaic Tile

Kitchens are becoming elegant places to cook, eat, and gather. This busy design can look cheap. The white mid-century Eames-style chairs, sorry to say, are also out.

Andrea Davis

12. Barn Doors

Using barn doors between the kitchen and other spaces is a look that is officially out. They proved to be not that functional and the look is now dated and too kitschy. Buh bye!

Check out our online newsletter for more home decor inspo!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

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30 Easy & Low-Carb Dinner Recipes For Your Whole30 Month

Every January, I commit to a Whole30 month and throughout the year follow the low-carb program for a week or even a day. This year, 2025, I'm going to try to adhere to a low-carb diet all year long. My body just doesn't react well to carbs and it's generally a healthier way to live. I recently tried True Story's Whole30 Approved Bundle, which has been a great starter kit to get back in the swing of a low-carb routine, especially at lunchtime when I don't have time to cook from scratch.

Now there are tons of Whole30 recipes that you can enjoy without breaking the rules. The creativity of these dinner recipes make you feel like you're not giving up on dairy, grains, sweets or fun, but instead are venturing into a style of cooking that's healthy and *delicious.* Enjoy the adventure and experiment with these versatile mains that you can add to your monthly cooking routine.

Easy Paleo Chili Recipe

Make this easy Whole30-compliant dish that's full of healthy veggies (no beans!) and so simple to make. (via The Endless Meal)

Meatballs Without Breadcrumbs

For an easy dinner, try these meatballs without breadcrumbs made from ground beef or pork. Just add a veggie and your favorite sauce! (via Where Is My Spoon)

Sweet Potato Toasts

Sweet potatoes are low in calorie and high in fiber and a good swap for your toasty cravings. There are endless topping combos to turn them into a delicious and savory meal. (via Feel Good Foodie)

Sheet Pan Chicken And Asparagus

This Sheet Pan Chicken and Asparagus recipe is Whole30 approved and ready in less than 30 minutes! (via The Girl On Bloor)

Creamy Chicken Mushroom

Serve over cauliflower rice or spaghetti squash, this Creamy Chicken Mushroom recipe is made with garlic chicken thighs and a delicious mushroom sauce that's made creamy with healthy cashew butter. (via The Endless Meal)

Chicken Artichoke

This chicken smothered in a creamy spinach and artichoke cream sauce is Whole30-compliant and so delicious! (via Clean Cuisine)

Whole30 Chicken Zoodle Soup

Whole30 Chicken Zoodle Soup

If you’re looking for a soul-soothing dish that’s still diet-friendly, you’ve come to the right recipe. (via Brit + Co)

Whole30 Loaded Baked Potato Soup

Hearty comfort food isn’t always compliant with the latest food trends, but this loaded baked potato soup just happens to be Whole30 approved. (via Brit + Co)

Whole30 Animal Style Burgers

Whole30 Animal Style Burgers

Crunchy lettuce leaves replace traditional buns to make burgers that are Whole30 compliant. You’ll be able to stop your drive-thru dreams after just one bite. (via Brit + Co)

Chicken, Pesto, and Sun-Dried Tomato Egg Pizza

Instead of a wheat crust, this pizza is made on a high-protein egg base. A creamy pesto made with pine nuts and cashews will make you forget all about cheese. (via The Whole Smith’s Good Food Cookbook, photo via Michelle Smith)

Whole 30 Salmon Avocado Salad

The most unexpected bite in this salmon salad comes not from creamy avocado, but rather from bright bursts of tangy grapefruit that liven up the entire dish. (via The Whole Smith’s Good Food Cookbook, photo via Michelle Smith)

Whole30 Broccoli Chicken Twice Baked Potatoes

Thank goodness white potatoes aren’t off-limits with Whole30. Turn them into an entire, satisfying meal by stuffing them with broccoli, chicken, fresh herbs, and spices. (via The Whole Smith’s Good Food Cookbook, photo via Michelle Smith)

Whole30 Chicken, Lime, and Avocado Soup

Don’t forget the avocado. It adds a cooling, creamy effect to your bowl. (via The Whole30 Slow Cooker, photo via Ghazalle Badiozamani)

Whole30 Instant Pot Chicken Cacciatore

This Whole30-compliant chicken cacciatore is comfort food at its best, made by swapping zucchini noodles for pasta. (via The Whole30 Slow Cooker, photo via Ghazalle Badiozamani)

Whole30 Instant Pot Chinese Sesame Chicken

Make this sesame chicken at home in your Instant Pot so you don’t give in to your take-out cravings. (via The Whole30 Slow Cooker, photo via Ghazalle Badiozamani)

Taco Salad Bowl + Sautéed Plantains

Dig into this hearty salad served with sautéed plantains and a homemade Whole30-compliant taco seasoning for a totally satisfying dinner. (via The Real Food Dieticians)

Twice-Baked Sweet Potato Egg Boat

Twice-Baked Sweet Potato Egg Boat

Roasted sweet potatoes, eggs, and the toppings of your choice (bacon and avocado, for example) create a hearty base for your day. (via Brit + Co)

Hashbrown Egg Cups

Sometimes nothing hits the spot like a cozy hashbrown egg cup. Opt for only shredded sweet potatoes in this dish to keep it compliant. (via Siriously Deliciousby Siri Daly / Time Inc., Books)

Sheet-Pan Shrimp Fajitas

Tangy, spicy sheet-pan shrimp fajitas can be wrapped in lettuce taco “shells.” (via Brit + Co)

Air Fryer Whole Chicken

This Greek-inspired whole chicken cooks fast and tasty in an air fryer. Add roasted potatoes for a complete meal! (via Vikalinka)

Green Egg Shakshuka

If you’re not famished after work, treat yourself to a pan of mixed greens topped with baked eggs. (via Brit + Co)

Spring Chicken Salad

Chicken, potatoes, and greens are always a choice grouping. Here, the addition of a pesto dressing transforms them into a vibrantly flavored dish. Use snap peas instead of English peas to keep things Whole30-compliant. (via Brit + Co)

Whole30 Shepherd’s Pie

Topped with a creamy cauliflower-potato mash, Whole30 shepherd’s pie is just one way to satisfy your comfort food cravings. (via Brit + Co)

Halibut en Papillote

Made with halibut, shiitake mushrooms, and a touch of sesame oil, this homemade fish dish is oh-so-memorable. Serve it with cauli rice to help soak up the extra sauce. (via The Clean Plate: Eat, Reset, Heal by Gwyneth Paltrow)

Instant Pot Salmon Dinner

Instant Pot Salmon Dinner

Sweet potatoes, broccoli, and orange-covered salmon cook up all at once in an Instant Pot within minutes so hanger doesn’t have time to strike. (via Brit + Co)

Keto Vegan Alfredo Zoodles

We think Whole30 will forgive us since alfredo sauce isn’t something people tend to binge on. Top it with shrimp or chicken for extra oomph. (via Brit + Co)

Whole30 Mashed Potatoes With Mushroom Gravy

Make a big batch of this and serve it alongside a steak. (via Brit + Co)

Sweet Potato Egg Boat

Twice-Baked Sweet Potato Egg Boat

Don’t knock it till you try it. Egg, bacon, avo, and sweet potatoes surprisingly go very well together. (via Brit + Co)

Paleo Dressing

This bowl combines roasted root vegetables and sausage for an earthy, filling combo. Serve it with some cauliflower rice for a complete meal. (via Brit + Co)

Whole30 Chicken Salad

This easy grilled chicken salad, ideal for the nights when you want to quickly throw something together, happens to be Pinterest’s top recipe. (via Brit + Co)

As you already know if you've made it this far, getting through a month of healthy meals is all about the meal plan! We hope you've found some inspiration for easy, flavorful, colorful, and tasty meals that we imagine might land in your regular meal rotation beyond your Whole30 month? Find more inspiration in our weekly newsletter or enjoy a free month of our on-demand baking and cooking classes.

Main image via The Endless Meal

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