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How many children does Britney Spears have?

Thanks to frequent paparazzi shots of Britney Spears and her kids, we know that she has two sons! Sean Preston Federline was born September 14, 2005, making him 19 years old while his brother Jayden James Federline was born September 12, 2006 and just turned 18. Where did the time go?

Who did she have kids with?

Britney Spears shares her sons with her ex-husband Kevin Federline. They got married on October 6, 2004 after a few months of dating, and their whirlwind romance led to the birth of their two sons (via Business Insider). The couple later divorced on July 30, 2007, but Kevin has spoken fondly of their relationship throughout the years.

He actually told PEOPLE in 2008 how much he loved the time they were together. "I pretty much realized that I was giving my life to her, and I was doing it without question," he said. "It was just something that was meant to happen. And probably my greatest moment with her is having our two sons."

Do Sean and Jayden live with Britney Spears?

According to PEOPLE, Sean and Jayden currently live in Hawaii with their dad, Kevin as of 2023. And according to Kevin's attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan, there's a specific reason why their sons were excited to move. "It's an opportunity for Kevin and his wife, and the boys are ready to get away from the L.A. microscope."

If you remember, Kevin gained "sole custody" of Preston and Jayden in 2008 due to Britney Spear's "mental breakdown," (via US Weekly).

There was reportedly a rift between Britney Spears and her sons after her conservatorship ended in 2021, but she just reunited with Jayden! A Page Six insider revealed "they have been spending a lot of time together,” while a source told People, "spending time together has made her happy."

What have Sean and Jayden said about their mom?

In 2022 Sean and Jayden shared their thoughts about their tense relationship with Britney. The Daily Mail reported Jayden said, "It's just going to take a lot of time and effort. I just want her to get better mentally. When she gets better I really want to see her again." Given Britney's breakdown and the news surrounding her conservatorship over the years, we can only imagine how much the public nature of their lives affected her kids.

What's the current status of Britney's relationship with her sons?

There have been several ups and downs throughout the years, but Britney hasn't held back from publicly sharing thoughts about her kids. USA Today shared that Britney and Jayden have recently reconciled in L.A. which comes amidst reports she's finished paying child support for him (via TMZ).

However, Kevin's attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan says they're not sure what's happening behind the scenes. "If there has been a reconciliation it’s news to Kevin," he told TMZ.

What is it about the holidays that trigger uncomfortable or prodding family questions?

If you had a dollar for every time some asked something that created awkward tension during the holidays, how much money would you have? For some reason, it always feels like this is the time for people to ask the most embarrassing questions in the word. But, what if it wasn't done on purpose? Dr. Michele says, "While many love holidays, others dread them. Those who have close family relationships approach the season with ease."

Still, she acknowledges how that's not always the case for everyone. "People with strained family relationships find holidays unbearable. The closeness can encourage prodding that feels invasive. Sometimes, people simply have a need to know the ins and outs of your life."

However, you don't have to feed anyone's curiosity if you don't want to!

How can I politely say that a question is bothering me?

Your first reaction to certain questions may be shock and embarrassment followed by irritation or anger. Those are normal responses when something catches us off guard. While our emotions are justified, the way we want to respond may not be. McKleroy says, "First, it’s crucial to recognize your own needs or values that are stirred up by the question. If your aunt asks you, 'Are you still at that job, or did you finally find a better one,' this question could likely bring up a need for acknowledgement — maybe you want your aunt to see the value in your work."

She further explains, "It could also point to your need for autonomy and freedom to make career choices on your own terms without feeling pressured. You can respond by saying, 'Yep, I'm still at that job, and I'm learning a lot and enjoying being there right now,'" which places the ball in your court without you cursing her name.

This is the time to be curious if you're not sure what your needs are. Like McKleroy says, they're a good indicator of why certain questions bother you. Truthfully, she believes you look at invasive questions as a good thing. "Navigating personal questions from family, especially the kind that feel intrusive, is a chance to courageously practice protecting your peace and setting empowered boundaries," McKleroy says.

Still, you likely need to set boundaries with your family. "Another way you can navigate prodding questions is by expressing your need for privacy in a kind way. If your grandfather asks you about your dating life, you can say, 'I really appreciate your interest, and right now, I’m keeping that part of my life private. I’ll happily share more when I’m ready,'" she suggests. It's a great way for you to "honor his care while respecting your own boundaries," according to her.

What if I'm afraid to set boundaries with my family?

Setting boundaries with anyone isn't always easy, especially if you're a people pleaser or empath. But Dr. Leno says, "It is best to set boundaries up front, understanding that family may or may not respect them." Echoing McKleroy's thoughts about how to redirect certain questions, she says you can tell someone "now is not the time to talk about it."

If you're still afraid of pushback for setting a boundary, she encourages you to "talk to the host or another family member to help you out." Based on her experience, she feels "there is usually someone willing to redirect subjects as needed." If it helps, I've been known to ask my mom or sister an unrelated question to what I'm being asked to signal that I'm feeling anxious about something I've been asked.

Your apprehension about setting boundaries isn't in vain though. It's a real feeling based on a number of things. Dr. Leno says, "Establishing boundaries can be difficult for someone hoping to maintain peace or avoid conflict. They fear appearing hostile. However, your well-being comes first."

What can I do if my family chooses to ignore my boundaries?

Like Dr. Leno said, everyone isn't going to honor your boundaries based on things that have nothing to do with you. It's hard not to take things personal, but it's worth learning how not to internalize their lack of respect. "There are times when your family will disregard your boundaries, so brace yourself. Prepare to protect your mental space, and stand your ground," informs Dr. Leno.

Also, she says that "even if your family repeatedly oversteps, your ability to stick to your boundaries is more important than their willingness to respect them." Should you feel depleted trying to mentally and emotionally guard yourself, she wants you to "take a break by exiting the room or house or venue altogether."

I personally love doing the later if I'm unable to stay grounded when fielding prodding questions and think I'm about to say the wrong thing. Taking a break usually gives me time to calm down and find something else to focus on.

If you still need help learning how to deal with your family's invasive questions, there are CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) tools you can rely on. They've been a huge life saver for me which is why I'm always sprinkling them throughout different family and self-care articles. For anyone who's unfamiliar with what CBT is, Dr. Leno says it "focuses on self-management" because "people learn to regulate their emotions by managing their thoughts."

Realistically, the holidays shouldn't cause you to feel stressed out. "If you're feeling emotionally drained leading up to the holidays, your thinking may be the culprit. Your worst-case-scenario think will cause an anxiety build-up that feels unmanageable," warns Dr. Leno.

Instead, she wants to try developing "some self-care tools" like:

• "Only sharing what makes you comfortable"
• "Refusing to answer certain questions because the person asking will get over it"
• Managing your anxiety with deep breathing"
• Avoiding the all-or-nothing mindset. It is perfectly fine to limit your participation in the festivities. Give yourself permission to leave early if necessary."

There's no shame in realizing you're feeling lonely, but it's also important to identify when that loneliness morphs into isolation. "Even though many might be experiencing the same feelings, that doesn't mean they are reaching out for support," Kelman says. "Many are not feeling enough strength to reach out to others or feel like they are being a burden so they reason alone with their feelings."

"It's also become more evident as our reliance on digital communication has grown, sometimes leaving us more connected online but feeling less understood and less connected in more meaningful, in-person ways," Dr. Stratyner adds. And then there's the social expectation of it all. "Many people tend to hide their loneliness because they feel shame or embarrassment about it. This can make it even harder to open up and connect with others who might be feeling the same way. The more we keep these feelings to ourselves, the more it reinforces the isolation, even though we all experience it in varying forms."

"It is hard to see light when things feel dark, and many go inward to deal with their feelings," Kelman points out. "Many are so burdened by their feelings that they might not feel capable to care for those around them or to show up and be present for others."

And just like Dr. Gilboa says, we're looking for true connection, not just surface-level friendships. But how can we make true social connection? Here's what they suggest.

1. A good friend shows care and empathy for the people around them.

If you care for the people around you, there's a very good chance others will want to be your friend. "People that show empathy toward others are very attractive qualities as it shows that one has the capacity to care for others and be present for them," Kelman says. "Those that are gregarious and selfless can be quite appealing as well. Those that are self-involved tend to repel others rather than attract."

Focusing on others instead of yourself can be easier said than done, but the it's definitely worth it. "People are drawn to those who show genuine care and understanding," Dr. Stratyner agrees.

​2. A good friend is reliable and trustworthy.

Our inner circle is going to be made up of people who know us inside and out, but it's unlikely someone will reach that level of emotional intimacy unless you really trust them. "In friendship people rate reliability, honesty and trustworthiness more highly [than romantic relationships]," Dr. Gilboa says.

​3. People are attracted to humor.

I'm sure we can all think of someone who never fails to make us laugh. And being the funny friend can mean a lot of things: you know how to poke fun at yourself or you don't take things too seriously (unless they need to be taken seriously, of course). But that doesn't mean making other people the butt of mean jokes.

"A good sense of humor helps foster a positive, lighthearted atmosphere, making interactions feel enjoyable and memorable," Stratyner says. "Plus, everyone loves to laugh."

​4. You need to be a good listener.

No one wants to be talked at and never listened to. After all, we do have two ears and one mouth! But simply nodding your head and zoning out won't cut it. "People appreciate feeling truly heard," Dr. Stratyner says. "This demonstrates respect, interest, and a willingness to connect on a deeper level."

"Be a great listener without asserting your own views or agenda," Kelman adds. "Be available, vulnerable and present. Ask those around you how they are and truly listen to how they feel. Be open and direct and most of all, be a constant. Nothing better than knowing that you will be there for all things."

So engage with what your friends are saying and, even better, remember it later!

5. A good friend is generous.

Is there a better time to talk about generosity than Thanksgiving? Be generous with your time, resources, and your heart — but don't worry, that doesn't mean you have to let someone else steam roll you. After all, a good friend also won't take advantage of you!

"Giving to others and the community are wonderful traits and habits that are very attractive to others and may draw people in," Kelman says. "People want to be around people that give and are easy-going in their interactions with individuals and the world around them."

​6. New friends are attracted to positivity.

When things feel dark, new friends will be attracted to someone who can make the world feel a little lighter. "People are often attracted to those who can find the silver lining, stay hopeful, and spread good vibes, especially in challenging situations," Dr. Stratyner says.

That's not to say you can never have bad days or process things like disappointment and grief. It just means you aren't ruled by them. (Listen, as an Enneagram 4, I'm talking to myself!)

Ok, you might be thinking, this is great but what do I do with this information? Here are some easy, actionable steps to take if you want to make new friends.

1. Understand why you're feeling lonely will help you address the real problem.

"First is to get an understanding of the loneliness and where it is coming from...finding community too soon may cause an increase in loneliness even while being surrounded by others," Kelman recommends.

You can't reach a solution if you don't know what the real problem is. I realized since I work from home, I need to do better about leaving the apartment, and my favorite way to spend an afternoon is coworking with a friend at a coffee shop.

​2. Finding new hobbies will connect you with similar people.

I met some of my best friends through a big movie group, which means when I have a meme or a piece of news to fangirl over, I know exactly who to contact. "Find activities that ignite you, find like minded individuals with whom to connect," Kelman adds. "Join a book club, pick up a new sport or hobby, but again, trying to immerse yourself too soon may not have any impact on the lonely feelings."

"The antidote to loneliness is social connection — true connection that paves the way for belonging," Dr. Gilboah says. "Talking to people to learn what interests and values are shared will open the door for the types of relationships that become community."

​3. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there.

Listen. If you only ever order takeout and watch Netflix, you'll simply never make new connections. You gotta get after it! "Look for community events, clubs, or hobby groups that align with your interests, whether book clubs, sports leagues, or volunteering opportunities," Dr. Stratyner says. "Being around people with shared passions makes it easier to start conversations and find common ground."

​4. And don't be afraid to reach out first.

For some reason, we've decided that reaching out first (or double texting) means we're needy and insufferable. This is simply not the case because who doesn't want to know they were thought of!! Plus, there's a good chance that if you're overthinking every little detail, other people are too.

"Reach out, even in small ways, to those around us who may be feeling the same," says Dr. Gilboah. "Loneliness often leads to rumination - the act of dwelling on or spiraling downward through negative thoughts. Ruminating can cause further isolation and distracts us from the people and stimuli around us."

​5. Be present when you're finally with people.

When you do make special connections, it's super important to make sure you're offering your full attention. "Showing up emotionally and physically makes them feel valued and heard, strengthening your bond," Dr. Stratyner says. She also recommends checking in to remind them you're there, and genuinely celebrating their wins (which, separately, is definitely a sign of being a girls' girl). "If a friend is going through a tough time, offer to help in any way you can," she adds. "Sometimes, simply acknowledging their struggle and offering your time can make all the difference."

"The best news about friendship is that Gen Z values authenticity above just about any other factor in friendship," Dr. Gilboah says. "Gathering the courage to be your true self and [mixing] that with empathetic listening will make you a sought after friend."