BTW, ​You Can *Actually* Visit the Malibu Barbie Cafe

Get in the spirit with these Christmas in New York photos!

The only thing more magical than a Christmas tree in Manhattan? A Christmas tree in Manhattan covered in snow. Yes, please.

There's an endless supply of coffee shops in the city, and when they feature bright red color palettes, it just means the corner gets some Christmas cheer all year long.

I love how this photo captures the energy of the city. The hustle! The bustle! The lights!

It wouldn't be Christmas in New York without a trip to Radio City Music Hall. Rockettes anyone?

Another iconic part of any trip to New York during the holidays is ice skating at Rockefeller center. You'll feel like you're in a movie!

And right up the stairs after ice skating, you'll find Rockefeller plaza lit by angels and stars. You can almost hear the trumpets!

Feel like you're an elf in the North Pole when you check out these larger-than-life red baubles.

The Rockefeller tree is a gorgeous, gorgeous girl. Stop by after 10pm to avoid the crowds!

You'll also find that the simple details of Christmas in New York will take your breath away too. Like these boughs and red bows!

Match the holiday decor with your brightest red sweater(and black knee high boots while you're at it).

Just because New Yorkers don't have front yards doesn't mean they can't have outdoor decor. Look at this festive fire escape!

Gorgeous lights are all over the city — like this spot just outside the Plaza and Central Park.

Bask in the glow of a holiday-themed Empire State Building. It only happens once a year!

Even the New York Public Library lions are getting into the spirit!

And inside the iconic library, you'll find even more Christmas trees decorated with pinecones, bows, and fake snow. Absolutely magical.

The most fun thing about walking around the city at Christmas is seeing all the shops full of garland, lights, and bows!

And Christmas in New York means plenty of stoop decor — wreaths, lights, garlands, oh my!

Keep scrolling to see even more Christmas in New York!

You'll find lights on every street corner!

Take a trip to DUMBO (Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass) for an iconic photo opportunity and (hopefully) some snow too.

Christmas in New York can brighten even the dreariest winter day.

Remember what I said about bright red restaurants? Well, add a Christmas tree and you've got yourself an extra-festive street corner.

Saks Fifth Avenue might not be doing a light show this year, but it's always a good time to go down memory lane.

Minimalist decor helps landmarks like The Vessel stand out against a dark night sky — and serve as a lesson in enjoying simple details.

Nobody does a bright and colorful Christmas like Tiffany & Co. I mean, just LOOK, at this tree!

If you've been missing Tumblr, and listening to "I Look in People's Windows" by Taylor Swift on repeat, I chose this vibey picture with you in mind.

There's never a shortage of oversized Christmas icons in the city! These giant candy canes make me feel like I'm in Santa's workshop.

Grand Central Station is decked out for the season with garland, wreaths, and red and green lights.

Christmas in New York wouldn't be complete without these iconic locations.

Cartier always makes Christmas in New York feel more sophisticated and their starry design for 2024 is breathtaking.

I'm dreaming of a White Christmas in New York!

The Columbus Circle shops always have the brightest (and most colorful) Christmas stars.

New York isn't all apartment buildings! Take a trek out to Dyker Heights to see some serious Christmas lawn decor.

Not a fan of red or green? There are plenty of other color options ;).

"Snowflakes and nutcrackers" sounds like the perfect way to start a Christmas song.

Eloise at Christmastime is one of the ultimate Christmas movies, and Christmas in New York simply isn't Christmas in New York without the Plaza. Seeing it during the holidays is like nothing you've seen before.

This photo of the Empire State Building looks the way "River" by Joni Mitchell sounds. And I love it for that.

A Full Timeline Of Ryan Gosling And Eva Mendes' Relationship

August 2011 — Ryan Gosling And Eva Mendes Meet During The Place Beyond The Pines

Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes took a chance at romance after they played a couple in 2011's The Place Beyond The Pines. Once they were linked, they were seen walking around Disneyland "like a dating couple, [walking] very closely, holding hands and their arms touching side-by-side," according to a PEOPLE eyewitness.

November + December 2011 — Ryan Gosling And Eva Mendes Spend The Holidays Together

During Thanksgiving in 2011, Eva Mendes was filming Holly Motors in Paris, so Ryan Gosling took a trip to the City of Lights so they could spend the holiday together. They also ended up going on Funny or Die's Drunk History Christmas the next month to reenact a 21+ version of The Night Before Christmas *and* spent New Year's together!

September 7, 2012 — Ryan Gosling And Eva Mendes Attend The Toronto International Film Festival Together

To promote The Place Beyond the Pines, Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes spent a lot of time together on the TIFF red carpet. Years later in 2019, when Kelly Clarkson pulled up the picture, Eva couldn't help but gush over Ryan — especially since they hadn't announced they were dating at the time. “Oh my God, that’s so old," she says of the photo. "That’s literally me going, ‘I’m not in love with him. What? I’m not in love.’ ‘Cause we were trying to be very professional."

May 2014 — Ryan Gosling And Eva Mendes Work Together On Lost River

Ryan and Eva reunited on a film set again for Lost River, which was both Ryan's directorial debut and served as a semi-autobiographical story for him. "For me, it was crucial to work in this intimate, low-budget, small way, with people I had worked with before, because I feel like in my experience that’s where everyone was at their best," Ryan tells Sunday Style (via Mangalorean). "They know what is at stake for you personally, and all the work that’s gone into getting there."

Eva also told her Instagram followers in a since-deleted postthat Lost River is the project she's most proud of. "There was one film I'm extra proud to be a part of," she said. "A dark fairy tale. A magical fantasy. To all the struggling single mothers, to all of us in cities that feel like they're burning down or flooding around us, to everyone fighting for the ones they love, this was a good one."

September 12, 2014 — Eva Mendes Gives Birth To Their First Child

Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes welcomed Esmerelda Amada Gosling into the world in September of 2014. Eva later said that she didn't even want kids until she got together with Ryan. "I was lucky enough to work my bum off for 20 years," she tells Nova 96.9's Fitzy & Wippa (via PEOPLE). "I never wanted babies before until I fell in love with Ryan, and it kind of worked out to where I was 40 and having my first baby. I think I was 42 for the second one, so it worked out in that way that I had a career and then I change my focus to my family."

Ryan also went on to tell GQ in 2023 that he was in a similar place before meeting Eva. "I wasn’t thinking about kids before I met her, but after I met Eva, I realized that I just didn’t want to have kids without her," he says. "And there were moments on The Place Beyond the Pines where we were pretending to be a family, and I didn’t really want it to be pretend anymore." I could cry!!

December 7, 2015 — Ryan Gosling Gives A Rare Interview About His Relationship

While Ryan and Eva have kept their relationship very private, he told Hello! that "I know that I'm with the person I'm supposed to be with" and that literally the only quality he looks for in a woman is "That she's Eva Mendes. There's nothing else I'm looking for." Swoon!

April 29, 2016 — Ryan Gosling And Eva Mendes Have Their Second Child

Eva Mendes gave birth to her and Ryan's second baby, a daughter named Amada Lee Gosling, in April 2016 — after keeping the pregnancy a secret until it was almost time to deliver! Amada is named after Eva's grandma.

January 8, 2017 — Ryan Gosling Dedicates His La La Land Golden Globe To Eva Mendes' Brother

While accepting his Golden Globe for Best Performance in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy, Ryan Gosling made sure to let the world know just how much of a role Eva had played in the process. “I would like to try and thank one person properly, and say that while I was singing and dancing and playing piano,” he says in his speech, “my lady was raising our daughter, pregnant with our second and trying to help her brother with his battle with cancer.”

Eva's brother, Juan Carlos Mendes, had passed away the previous April and Ryan took the opportunity to dedicate the award to him.

February 12, 2020 — Eva Mendes Reveals Ryan Gosling Is A Great Cook

When an Instagram account asked what Eva and Ryan liked to cook, Eva revealed just how amazing Ryan is with food. "Ryan is an amazing chef AND baker," she says in her reply. "For reals. Incredible. No joke. I'm not sure that what I do is cooking. It's more like steaming veggies and juicing and making rice. He really cooks. I survive." Can I get Ryan Gosling to make me a meal sometime?

January 1, 2022 — Ryan Gosling Shares About Their Quarantine Life

“Time, in general, is something I think about a lot now. My kids are growing up so fast I need to keep an eye on the clock in a way I never used to,” Ryan Gosling tells GQ. “I feel like I need more time to process [how much the pandemic played into that]. But [Eva and I] have two kids, so we spend a lot of our time trying to keep them entertained.”

While they enjoyed their time together, Ryan's also candid about the effect of lockdown on their children: “Our kids were at a difficult age not to be able to see other kids and interact with people, even though Eva and I did our best.”

June 2022 — Eva Mendes Embraces The Kenergy

When the world went crazy for every bit of Barbie news, so did Eva Mendes. "So. F. Funny," she says in an Instagram caption sharing the first look at Ryan Gosling's Ken. "So. F. Good. So F excited for you to see this…#Thatsmyken."

"It's a funny photo and he's trying to be funny, so it worked on all levels," she goes on to say on The Talk. "But when I saw it, when he sent it to me from work, I was like, 'Can I please have that underwear? Please, I never ask for anything'...So, anyway, I do have it. I'm wearing it right now."

November 2022 — Eva Mendes Begins Dropping Hints She Married Ryan Gosling

When Eva showed off a new tattoo on her wrist in November of 2022 on Instagram, fans immediately began dissecting its meaning. The tattoo, which reads "de Gosling" (which is similar to Mrs. Gosling) could mean that Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes are actually married! She went on to tell Today in Australia (via DailyMail) that "Everyone is so welcoming here and my husband Ryan is here, and we are having the best time." 👀

August 9, 2023 — Ryan Gosling And Eva Mendes Love Family Time

In the midst of crazy release schedules and commitments (not to mention the actors' strike), Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes always prioritize their family life. "When they are not working, they are all about their girls," a source tells People. "Ryan is such a fun dad. He is goofy and his girls love it." The source continues by saying the family loves to go to the beach or the desert (same TBH).

December 18, 2023 — Eva Mendes Can't Wait For The "I'm Just Ken" Christmas Remix

If the original version of "I'm Just Ken" wasn't good enough, Ryan Gosling is blessing us with a Christmas remix — and Eva Mendes is just as excited as we are. "Ken not wait for this," she says in an Instagram caption.

January 13, 2024 — Ryan Gosling Mentions His Family During His Acceptance Speech

At the 2024 Santa Barbra International Film Festival, Ryan Gosling won the Kirk Douglas Award for Excellence in Film — and he totally deserves it! With a career that includes iconic films like La La Land and Barbie, as well as The Notebook, Blade Runner 2049, and Crazy Stupid Love, all kinds of film lovers have gotten to see Ryan's work onscreen. During his acceptance speech, Ryan got choked up talking about how acting allowed him to meet "the girl of [his] dreams."

"I dreamed of one day making movies and now movies have made my life a dream," he says in his speech. "So the way I see it, there's no way I have contributed half as much to cinema as cinema's contributed to me."

January 24, 2024 — Eva Mendes Celebrates Ryan Gosling's Oscar Nomination

After the Oscar nominations were announced January 23, Eva Mendes took to Instagram to celebrate Ryan Gosling's nomination for Best Supporting Actor. "So proud of my man. So much hate when he took on this role," she says alongside screenshots of the first (very negative) reviews of his casting. "So many people trying to shame him for doing it. Despite all the #Notmyken ridicule and articles written about him, he created this completely original, hilarious, heartbreaking, now iconic character and took it all the way to Oscars. So beyond proud to be this Ken’s Barbie."

February 22, 2014 - Eva Mendes Announces Upcoming Children's Book

Yesterday Eva Mendes shared with People that she's penned a children's book named Desi, Mami, and the Never-Ending Worries that'll debut September 17. It's all about a little girl who's always worried that her scary brain is the real monster she's afraid of at night. Through gentle reminders, Desi's mom helps her understand that being afraid is normal and teaches her how not to let scary thoughts control her.

Eva Mendes told People the books is like "a love letter to my kids and yours" because "...Learning how to train our brain to work for us and not against us is easier said than done!" Since we know racing thoughts doesn't just affect adults, we love that Eva is finding a way to share some of her parenting tips with other parents.

Order Eva Mendes' Children's Book:

Desi, Mami, and the Never-Ending Worriesby Eva Mendes

March 10, 2024 — Eva Mendes Celebrates Ryan Gosling's Oscars Performance

Eva Mendes celebrated the Oscars on March 10 with a post highlighting Ryan Gosling's performance, and his entire run as Ken! "You took Ken all the way to the Oscar’s, RG," she says on Instagram. "Now come home, we need to put the kids to bed."

We love the way this couple can have fun with each other — and highlight how much teamwork parenthood requires!

March 13, 2024 — Ryan Gosling Details How Eva Mendes And Their Daughters Helped Him Prepare For His Oscars Performance

Leave it to Ryan Gosling not to take credit for his amazing Oscars performance. He gushed to People about how Eva Mendes and their daughters helped him make sure his Kenergy truly shined bright. "They are such a huge part of this for me...it was my girl's interest in Barbie and disinterest in Ken that got me into this in the first place. It was beautiful to have them there at the end," he said.

As we all saw, the unmistakable Kenergy was in full force and effect during the Oscars.

March 26, 2024 — Eva Mendes Says It Was A "No Brainer" To Stay Home With Her Kids

Deciding how to maintain a work-home balance when you have kids is something every parent thinks about, and it turns out that extends to celebs, too! After starring with Ryan Gosling in The Place Beyond The Pines, Eva Mendes decided it was a "no brainer" to stay home with their family since acting can take you all over the world, which the actress revealed in a recent episode of The Today Show. “It was almost just like a non-verbal agreement that it was like, ‘Ok, he’s going to work and I’m going to work, I’m just going to work here,'” she says. She also says she's “so lucky” to “have this time with [their] children.”

“I have never experienced anything like [working with Ryan Gosling]. The way he works, his commitment to his craft, how he wants to make everything as best as it can be, and that means making his co-stars as best as they can be,” she continues. “But unfortunately — or fortunately — there is only one Ryan!"

April 1, 2024 — Eva Mendes Says Her Daughters Make Everything Better

After losing her brother in 2016, Eva Mendes says she has a "complicated relationship" with the month of April — but that her daughters make it infinitely more bearable. "[April 2] would have been my brother’s birthday," she says on Instagram. "In a couple of weeks from now is the day we lost him…but then, the end of April we got the biggest blessing of all, my little girl was born 8 years ago. I hate you April. But I love you more."

April 13, 2024 — Ryan Gosling Hosts SNL

During his latest stint hosting SNL, Ryan Gosling did a hilarious sketch about a man who picks up a Cuban accent after getting married to a Cuban woman. Eva Mendes was all over it! "Coño! My Cuban Papi made this Cuban Mami so happy with this!!" Eva wrote on Instagram. "Years of hanging out with my Dad paid off."

May 1, 2024 — Ryan Gosling Is The Ultimate Support System For Eva Mendes

Eva Mendes is not here for the mom-shamers. She told People (in honor of its 2024 Beautiful Issue) that staying home to focus on Ryan Gosling and her kids was the "easiest decision I've ever made" because she wanted to be there for their formative childhood years.

"When I was 40, it was a big deal for people when I was pregnant, and it wasn't for me," she says. "And then I was 42 and I was pregnant with my second one and people were like, 'Oh my God, you're going to be so tired. That's why people have kids in their 20s.' I was like, that's the most sorry, asinine thing I've ever heard."

"[Ryan supports me] in all the ways I need to be supported," she continues. "He's got me in all the ways."

May 16, 2024 — Eva Mendes Celebrates The Fall Guy

Eva Mendes just made a post she NEVER makes in honor of how much she loved The Fall Guy (relatable!). The actress posted the poster, which features Emily Blunt with Ryan Gosling on Instagram.

"Did you know?! @thefallguymovie is the FIRST non super hero movie to open the summer box office in 17 years!" she says. "And maybe it didn’t break the box office but it broke sooo many other records. I’m extra proud of this one. The proof is in my post-I don’t usually post pics of my man kissing a babe but Emily Blunt is just that d-mn good in it. THEY’RE that d-mn good in it. Viva el fall guy!"

August 4, 2024 — Eva Mendes And Ryan Gosling Appear At The 2024 Paris Olympics With Their Daughters

Team USA has been winning medals left and right, but Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes' family briefly stole the show yesterday.

The couple and their daughters were spotted watching Suni Lee, Qui Qiyuan, and Kayloa Nemour take score big at the gymnastics uneven bars final. After that, the couple enjoyed the Equestrian Dressage Individual Grand Prix Freestyle event. (via E! News).

The cute photos of them on X show Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes looking totally engrossed in the events they attended, but I can't help but notice how cute they look! Their casual styles complement each other and make me want to ask where they got their sunglasses from.

I don't know if they'll make another appearance in the future so I'm going to cherish how good Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes looked during their rare outing.

October 20, 2024 — Eva Mendes Reveals The One Thing Ryan Gosling Does To Make Her Feel Sexier

In an interview with The Sunday Times, Eva Mendes revealed that Ryan Gosling makes her feel sexier just by "the way my man looks at me."

"At times I’m like, ‘Oh, my God,'" she says. "So much of how I feel is a reflection of what he’s giving me. There’s so many things that can make me feel sexy and I’d say that I feel more sexy than not. I guess because I’ve never considered myself beautiful, but I’ve always felt very sexy.”

While she claims she's never been a "great" actress, she says that working with Ryan gets "something out of me that’s never been accessible before.”

And, apparently, she also helped him bring the ultimate Kenergy to the Barbie movie set. “I would just simplify everything," she says. "I’m like, ‘Just make Barbie notice you, that’s what Ken is all about.’ So then there was this desperation. He really loved that. I’d remind him, as he’s literally walking out the door, ‘Make Barbie notice you, make Barbie fall in love with you.’”

The actress and author also reveals the "extreme" rule they've instated for their kids: no social media or smartphones. “Putting my kid on the internet and being like, ‘Oh, search something,’ that to me is equivalent to telling her, ‘Oh, just go down the street in the middle of the night. You’ll be fine,’” she says. “I know that sounds extreme, but that’s what I feel.”

November 25, 2024 — Eva Mendes Introduces The "Newest Member" Of The Family

In a new Instagram video, Eva celebrates the Gosling family's "newest member," a dog named Magic! "We adopted her from this amazing organization @californiadoodlerescues," Eva says. "More to come…I’m crazy about her and excited to share life with Magic with you. ❤️"

1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.

I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.

"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.

As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."

Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.

2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.

While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."

Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.

Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."

3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.

Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?

Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.

You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says

4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.

*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."

Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.

4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.

Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.

Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.

I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."

5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.

Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."

At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.

What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?

First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."

I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.

"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.

Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.

Here are Menon's tips:

• Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
• Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.

I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?

I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.

"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."

Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."

He wants you to consider these things:

• Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
• Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
• Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.