20 Trendy + Timeless Bathroom Paint Colors

trendy and timeless bathroom paint colors that work for any space

Picking a paint color feels like a major commitment and, in my experience, never goes perfectly on the first try. The simple fact that paint samples look entirely different under the direct fluorescent lighting in the home improvement store is enough to drive a person mad. And even if you take that paint swatch home, there’s plenty of room for error.

Bathrooms can be notoriously tricky when it comes to landing on a winning paint color. Their inconsistent lighting, fixtures, and relation to other spaces in your home can send you into a tizzy. Here are a few ways to make the process easier, as well as some recommendations for bathroom paint colors to make your space feel like you (and go perfectly with your bedroom paint colors).

​Considerations When Picking A Bathroom Paint Color

Image via Grace Kelly/Unsplash

Every bathroom is different, not only when it comes to the square footage, but the layout, natural lighting, flooring, and location in your home. Keep these criteria in mind when heading to the paint store:

Size

A small powder room for guests will be treated much differently from your primary bathroom suite. The size of the space inevitably affects how the color is perceived. Let’s debunk one common myth, though: dark colors and small spaces can coexist. Statement small bathrooms can actually feel larger when properly painted. In fact, bold bathrooms are trending because what’s more fun than a surprisingly half bath? The answer is nothing.

Lighting

Does your bathroom have windows, or are you reliant on overhead lighting? Natural light from a window will make colors more vibrant and saturated, while ambient lighting can often dull colors. It’s something to keep in mind when falling for colors that are bold and moody. A combination of ambient light and natural light is your best bet for achieving a true-to-swatch color match, however, since this isn’t always the simplest of fixes, pick colors that will do well in your existing lighting.

Flooring

If you're planning a major renovation, you’ll want to consider the material and color of your bathroom’s flooring. Notice its shape, size, undertones, and textures. Hardwood will often bring a warmth to the space, while stark tile can feel a bit more modern. Consider how this will factor into the presentation of your chosen paint color. And if your bathroom features character tile in a bold color, lean into it with a paint color that will make it the star of the show, rather than an out-of-place accessory.

I’m sharing a handful of bathroom colors that will push you out of your comfort zone, as well as a few tried and true solutions. Whatever your fancy, there’s a color on this list for every bathroom — big or small, bold or neutral, maximal or minimal.

​For The Neutral Lovers

Image via Bence Balla-Schottner/Unsplash

Relish in your “sad beige era” with cool or warm neutrals — and be proud of your eye for simply beauty. These colors challenge the traditional stark white, but remain classic and timeless. For a bathroom with bold tile, uniquely-shaped flooring, or little-to-no lighting, a soothing neutral color can do wonders. Try one of these:

Benjamin Moore Pale Oak

I’m a sucker for all of Benjamin Moore’s Historical Collection colors. There’s something so cozy and comforting about them, and Pale Oak is no exception. Their website describes this versatile neutral as a “quiet” and “warm” off-white with gray undertones.

Sherwin Williams Windchill

This rustic gray is a beautiful option for bathrooms that experience a wide range of lighting. Perhaps it has an east-facing window, and basks in the sunlight in the morning, but stays dark most of the afternoon. This refined greige is modern yet homey — a complement to silver or gold fixtures, as well as cool or warm color palettes.

Behr Creamy Mushroom

The name says it all. This luxurious tan color is delicious and calming. The earthy tones scream “warmth” and yet offer enough sophistication to make a bathroom pop. Behr’s website says this color “relaxes and invites you to cast off the day by sinking into coziness.”

Benjamin Moore Alabaster

If you’ve been searching for a white or off-white color, you’ve undoubtedly stumbled upon Alabaster. It’s one of Benjamin Moore’s most popular colors of all time, and for good reason. The traditional white color is clean, classic, and the ideal backdrop for both bold and neutral decor. With pink undertones, the white will read warmer than other popular white paints without adding too much of a flare.

​For the Moody Vibes

Image via Nacho Carretero Molero/Unsplash

If you’re like me and see bathrooms as permission slips to go a bit wild, you’re in the right place. There's something just so beautiful about a bold, over-the-top bathroom. Perhaps you’re looking to paint the walls and ceiling for a dramatic monochromatic look, or maybe pairing your color choice with an equally-as-daring wallpaper. Try one of these colors:

Clare Dirty Chai

Like the drink itself, this color is like a long, soothing, embrace. Clare says “Dirty Chai is the perfect brown paint color. Warm sugar and spice with a shot of espresso. This cinnamon-y light brown makes an excellent pick-me-up.” Pair it with organic touches like plants, stone tile, or vibrant earth tones (or anything from Anthropologie's fall decor).

Benjamin Moore Charcoal Slate

When I hear “dark and moody,” this color comes to mind. The not-quite black color is rich with indigo undertones, yet allows light to bounce around the space. Warm it up with antique accents in gold, or keep it cool and modern with black and white accents.

Clare Field Trip

Scroll for a second or two on social media and you’ll surely see a green interior space. Homeowners and renters alike are fawning over the transformational power of a good green paint color. This one is more adventurous than most and feels like it was taken directly from the jungle. According to Claire, it's a “deep, forest green hue that captures the natural beauty and intrigue of an outdoor escape.”

Behr New Navy Blue

Navy scares paint newbies because of its undeniable nautical vibes, but I’m here to defend this gorgeous color. Whether you’re setting sail or just looking for a deep color to submerge yourself in, this “new” navy blue is it. More like the depth of the sea, this blue is almost black in some lighting and yet never loses its inviting and restorative nature — a win-win for a relaxing bathroom.

​For A Pop of Color

Image via Alice Butenko/Unsplash

Looking to surprise your guests with a unique vibe you might be too nervous to use elsewhere? Try a bright color in your bathroom. These colors are beautiful when off-set with white tile or wall molding that breaks up the space. For smaller spaces, you can go all in on this color, delivering a contemporary look with just paint. Try one of these pops of color:

Lick Green 08

Mint green is a vintage favorite making an epic comeback. This green paint has warm yellow and blue undertones that make it fresh and rejuvenating. Go retro with black and white tiles and this delicious ice cream color, or take a modern turn and pair it with dark wood tones. Lick says “this mid green is perfect for spaces where you want to feel open-minded and energized.”

Benjamin Moore Fancy Pants

There is something so fun and inspiring about this periwinkle purple color. The color insists you never take yourself too seriously when getting ready in the morning. It’s a “fun and uplifting” bluish purple hue that doesn’t feel too youthful. In fact, when styled with classic neutrals, this color could read upscale, as its name suggests, or whimsical with the right patterns and accessories. Take your pick.

Benjamin Moore Vermillion

If you want your guests to enter your bathroom mouth agape, look no further than this wild Vermillion color. It’s “inspired by ancient pigments” and yet conveys a confidence that’s hard to deny. The vibrant red-orange is nothing short of alluring, dramatic, and playful. A small bathroom painted in this color is likely to become your favorite room in the house.

Valspar Everglade Deck

Bathrooms are often a place for serenity, calmness, and revitalization. This midnight blue, while still bold and unexpected, strikes a balance between showy and elegant. The color melts on any wall, with or without a ton of light to create a modern, soothing space you’ll never want to leave.

​For Following Trends:

Image via Sanibell BV/Unsplash

While paint may feel like a super permanent decision, it’s really not. It’s so easy and affordable to swap colors and find something new. That’s why trending paint colors are something I never shy away from. It’s ok if you might not love it in 10 years, you’ll love it now and that’s enough. If you’re looking to wow guests with your on-trend design sensibilities, try one of these trending paint colors for your bath:

Benjamin Moore Raspberry Blush

Bold coral colors are trending for 2023 — in fact, this is Benjamin Moore’s Color of the Year. Following Pantone’s lead (they picked Viva Magneta as their annual favorite), this electric pink is a statement on its own. It pairs well with neutrals with any undertone: pink, yellow, gray, and brown.

Sherwin Williams Glamour

Mauve is in and this muted version is elegance embodied. I think this color has taken so many people by surprise because it’s pink…without being overtly feminine. This color features brown undertones that feel upscale and luxurious, unlike so many pinks. Its depth and ability to both make an impact and somehow act as a neutral makes this a top contender in 2023. If you love neutral vibes, but want to try something a little wilder, this is your color.

Clare Cosmic Vibes

Like Glamour, this trending purple is calming yet vivacious. Depending on how it’s styled, it can be the subtle nod of color in a neutral landscape or the eye-catching centerpiece of a maximalist fever dream. This mysterious color feels like a rainy spring day. Clare says it’s “straight out of the Milky Way.”

Benjamin Moore Savannah Green

In fashion and design, chartreuse is having its moment. This Savannah Green color captures the playful nature of that trend without the overzealous commitment to such a bright color. With green and yellow undertones, this gold hue feels like it would appear in a quirky Brooklyn loft or the Instagrammable bathroom of your favorite bar.

​For A Calming, Earthy Oasis:

Image via Sam Yink/Unsplash

Bathrooms are often the places we begin and end our days, and it’s no secret that color, design, and overall vibes can affect our minds and bodies. Earth-tones are always a popular bathroom choice and for good reason. They ground us, sooth us, and offer inspiration for the day ahead. Root yourself in nature with one of these colors for your bathroom:

Behr Half Sea Fog

This “quiet blue-gray” is the quintessential bathroom color, regardless of style. Mimicking the mystery of the sea with the vastness of the sky, this coastal blue is soft, steady, and serene. It’s subtle enough to support bold accessories and distinct enough to build your entire bathroom around. When you think of a “calming blue,” this is it.

Behr Conifer Green

There is something so homey about a dark green. This one features subtle blue undertones that compliment “both traditional and contemporary decor.” The brilliant depth pairs well with all colors of wood tones, to create a bold yet familiar pairing. This is the type of color that doesn’t require a whole lot of accessorizing. It’s a headliner without any extra frills.

Benjamin Moore Autumn Bronze

This year seems to be the comeback of brown. What has been seen as dull or dirty is having a reprise as a luxurious choice. What makes this bronze even more special is the “touch of golden olive” that warms it up and makes it so relaxing. It’s begging for a monochromatic styling of tans and light browns to really make the gold hues pop.

Benjamin Moore Potters Clay

When searching for a comforting Earth tone, blues and greens are among the top picks, but clay is an often forgotten, yet formidable, opponent to tradition. This terracotta orange is “sunbaked and radiant,” adding exponential warmth to any space it covers. The desert vibes are elite when paired with textured linens and bright neutrals.

My best advice for picking a bathroom paint color is simple: get it on the wall. Even if you have to take 10 samples home and paint swatches all around your bathroom, do it. There’s just no substitute for seeing it in your space, in your lighting, on the texture of your walls.

Whether your bathroom is a retreat away from the hustle and bustle or a showroom for your style, paint is the easiest and most potent way to transform a room. And don’t forget: it’s just paint. It’s easy to change. Don’t be afraid to try something new. Tag us with your bathroom paint colors on Instagram!

Brit + Co. may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

Lead image via Sanibell BV/Unsplash

Finally — a Pantone Color of the Year that I can totally get on board with. PANTONE 17-1230 Mocha Mousse is a deliciously warm brown that blends two of my favorite things: coffee and chocolate. This cozy, yet refined hue is the ultimate neutral for anyone embracing the earthy tones that make your home decor feel grounded, organic, and effortlessly elevated. It's rich without being overpowering, with a muted sophistication (think: coffee with a splash of cream) that instantly warms up a space. Pantone describes it as the color of comfort, and I couldn’t agree more. Ready to infuse your home with a Mocha Mousse aesthetic? Here are 15 easy ways to embrace the look for 2025.

See how to decorate with Pantone's Color of the Year, Mocha Mousse, here!

Mocha Mousse Soft Goods: Bedding + Pillows + Throws + Rugs

Anthropologie

Anthropologie Lustered Velvet Alastair Quilt

Velvet is making everything cozy for 2025 and this lovely set with mocha tones will instantly refresh your bed for the season.

McGee & Co.

McGee & Co. Polly Pillow Cover

This plaid pillow in 100% linen is luxe yet approachable for that sophisticated McGee vibe, mocha style!

McGee & Co.

McGee & Co. x Loeffler Randall Gardenia Pillow Cover

This warm plaid pattern, designed in collab with Loeffler Randall, is a perfect pairing for your mocha decor.

Lulu and Georgia

Lulu and Georgia Behren Wool Rug

This handwoven rug feels organic, fresh and modern with a literal grounding palette.

Pottery Barn

Pottery Barn Faux Fur Mink Throw

This luxe faux mink fur in deep brown and creamy tones is the throw we want to cozy up with all winter.

Statement Mocha Mousse Accents

Lights and Lamps

Avero Concrete Table Lamp

The mocha cast in this concrete lamp is stunning in a bedroom or living room.

Minted

Minted Earthy Cascade I

This abstract print of a mountain and river landscape is earthy and modern and perfect for your wall decor. Pair it with Earthy Cascade II.

Pottery Barn

Pottery Barn Artisan Studio Handcrafted Ceramic Collection

Ceramics have a way of making a home feel less sterile. The organic shape and rustic finish of these vessels are gorgeous in any mocha decor.

CB2

Regine Brown Glass Vase by goop

Inspired by midcentury Murano glass, this handblown brown glass vase by goop transitions from clear to earthy brown and looks lovely with a dried or fresh bouquet.

Mocha Mousse Furniture

Lulu and Georgia

Lulu and Georgia Baird Accent Chair

Let the overstuffed arms hug you while you read a book in this inviting accent chair.

Joybird

Joybird Denna Sectional

Get cozy in this dreamy oversized sectional with so many pillows, perfect for your winter weekend Netflix binge!

Mocha Mousse Paint

Sherwin Williams

Sherwin Williams SW 6067 Mocha

This muted chocolate neutral is perfect in a home office or living room. Try it as an accent wall or go full color drenching.

Benjamin Moore

Benjamin Moore Whipped Mocha CSP-350CSP-350

This color literally looks like a whipped mocha delivered straight from your favorite barista.

Graham & Brown

Graham & Brown Hot Mocha

This mocha leans into the warmer side, bringing a warm, inviting and luxe feel to a room.

Pair Mocha Mousse With These Colors

Wayfair

Chris Loves Julia x Loloi Matilda Collection

Lean into natural colors like creamy whites, beige, and taupe for a sophisticated mocha vibe. Olive, greige, and burgundy reds with a smidge of gold will also bring out the mocha warmth for 2025!

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Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

I’ve triedtons of different food trends in my day. From dumping chili oil on ice cream to concocting my very own Sleepy Girl Mocktail, nothing I’ve eaten measures up to the sheer weirdness we saw go viral on social media this year (major side eye to Dua Lipa’s pickle Diet Coke).

These are the top 5 most ridiculous TikTok-viral food trends of 2024 that left us questioning whether they really should’ve gone viral in the first place.

@claudiaeatsgood chamoy pickles are so good😋😩❤️ @Bussin Snacks #chamoypickle#chamoy#chamoypicklekit#bussinsnacks#takis#fruitrollup#mukbang#asmr#asmrmukbang#chamoypicklemukbang#juicy#pickle#mexicancandy♬ original sound - Claudia💕

1. Chamoy Pickles

People couldn't quit it with the chamoy pickles (AKA chickles) this year. I never would've guessed that chamoy, a condiment made from dried fruits, chilies, sugar, and lime juice, would be slathered atop the sourest pickles money can buy.

But the food trend didn't stop at just chamoy – many snackers stuffed their pickles with everything from the likes of Hot Cheetos, Takis, and Fruit Roll-Ups. What?!

This insanely sour, tangy treat kickstarted what the internet's coined as the 'Red 40 Diet', which certainly cannot be medically advised.

If you care for your GI tract, this food trend is 100% worth skipping and leaving behind in 2024.

@dualipaofficial

What do we call her?

♬ original sound - Dua Lipa

2. Pickle + Jalapeño-Infused Diet Coke

Diet Coke, pickle juice, and jalapeño juice = all the ingredients needed to concoct Dua Lipa's controversial 2024 drink. She loves it, but I on the other hand, do not.

Now, don't get me wrong: I love a good unexpected flavor combo, but gulping down a simultaneous dose of both pickle juice and jalapeño juice was not tasty to me whatsoever.

This trend even sparked a slew of Sonic diners to start ordering their soft drinks with pickles – but as divisive as this trend can be ("Don’t knock it till you try it," TikToker Mississippi Memaw told Food and Wine), it's just flat out weird.

@logagm

New cucumber recipe 🚨

♬ original sound - Logan

3. Cucumber Salad

If you bought a mandolin slicer recently, you might as well admit you're a victim of the TikTok-viral cucumber salad trend that made its rounds this year.

"Sometimes you need to eat an entire cucumber," TikTok user @logagmsounds off in the intro of every single one of his cucumber salad videos. And thus, the food trend was born.

It felt like I couldn't go a day on TikTok without seeing at least 5 recipes for a damn cucumber salad. When it comes down to it, I can appreciate the novelty (and taste) of this trend, but not the oversaturation. I'm gonna eat an entire cucumber one day, and get so tired of it the next. New innovations in 2025, please!

@kylekruegerr Would you try these?😂 #foodreview#seagrapes#food#review#tastetest#weirdfood♬ original sound - Kyle Krueger

4. Sea Grapes

It was like people wanted to eat the weirdest, grossest things in 2024. I can't blame 'em, especially if it's for clicks and views. But this food trend in particular literally made me want to gag – and I was only watching people eat through a screen (any fellow ASMR fans out there?).

They don't look like they're supposed to be crunchy, but they are. Sea grapes grow from aquatic plants and are filled with essentially what is a "salty liquid." They burst in the mouth when you eat them (one TikToker called them 'edible Orbeez'). Yuck.

@julieta.asmr I figured it out!! Blooper at the end 🥴 #asmr#asmrcommunity#asmrtiktoks#asmrvideo#asmrsounds#asmreating#asmrfood#asmrfyp#asmrmukbang#mukbang#asmreatingsounds♬ original sound - Julieta ASMR 🍒

5. Exploding Candies

The final (and especially weird) food trend I propose we leave behind in 2024 is these dang exploding jelly candies. They also made their rounds on ASMR TikTok, and I truly cannot stand to watch a single video featuring them.

First off, they look so annoying to consume. The fruit-shaped jellies are contained in a thin layer of plastic that's meant to burst open when you sink your teeth into it, prompting you to slurp out the sweetness inside. But what irks me the most is the fact that many people trying them can't even break the seal.

I'd rather watch someone make a simple PB&J than go to town on these microplastic-infused candies.

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Cameron Diaz's home exchange in Nancy Meyers' The Holiday is a cozy girl's dreamy holiday escape. And while Jude Law totally crushed our dreams by telling us that house isn't actually real, I found an IRL home that's totally just as good. This charming cottage is straight out of a storybook, with stacks of books, a literal crackling fireplace, and vintage-style furniture that beg you to curl up with a cup of tea. Cue this 1923 sbtorybook cottage in Los Angeles. Kirsten Blazek of LA-based a1000xbetter leaned into her warm and cozy side and embraced whimsical wallpapers and comfy furniture when restoring the '90s-era remodel back to its original charm, while also making sure it made sense for a modern, young family.

See the quaint, Nancy Meyers-inspired cottage remodel here!

1. Rich, Warm Colors

Michael P.H. Clifford

Kirsten chose a cohesive color palette throughout the home to give the overall feeling of warmth. The home features classic prints, curated art, and furniture that nods to the home’s past.

2. Luxe, Comfy Furniture

Michael P.H. Clifford

Furnishings from home decor shops like Soho Home, Arhaus, and Maiden Home, paired with bold Morris & Co wallpaper and vintage rugs creates a warm, cozy, and inviting space. Think cottagecore but elevated!

3. Larger-Than-Life Bookshelves

Michael P.H. Clifford

Floor-to-ceiling bookshelves frame the outdoors and give the home an old-world English cottage feel.

4. 1920s-Inspired Decor

Michael P.H. Clifford

But it's this bath that stopped me in my tracks. So stunning! The home hails from the roaring '20s and elements like unlacquered brass hardware, natural stone countertops, and a B&W silent film print make subtle calls to that era. I adore the scalloped backsplash.

5. Whimsical Wallpaper

Michael P.H. Clifford

"We wanted to choose a wallpaper for the child bedroom that was also whimsical but had a level of sophistication that meant it wouldn’t feel too young as the years progressed," says Kirsten.

6. Cozy Lamps

Michael P.H. Clifford

The Lawns Prospect Park Mural Wallpaper was the starting point for Kirsten's other choices in the room that include a vintage bed and table lamps from Amazon.

7. Vintage-Inspired Lighting

Michael P.H. Clifford

Vintage-style sconces and handmade ceramic tile in the master bathroom echo the past in a freshly designed bathroom. Love the idea of a table lamp here too.

8. Antique Furniture Accents

Michael P.H. Clifford

Kirsten chose an arched alcove around the bath with a tall vintage chair. "The alcove adds depth and interest to the room and felt aligned with the intrinsic architecture in the home," she says. What a happy ending!

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Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

First loves are TOUGH — especially when you start to see all the red flags you missed along the way once it's over. If you've been dissecting your own early love stories by reading Reddit threads or chatting with your girlfriends about their own relationship experiences, just know this: you're not alone! The entire Brit + Co staff even found ourselves discussing the first person we ever fell in love with...and the recounts did not disappoint. From realizing 19 seemed to be a common age for our all-time worst relationships to understanding how our first love was probably not as ideal as we originally thought, it made us wonder why we couldn't pinpoint red flags back then.

Licensed Psychotherapist Prerna Menon, founder of Boundless, LCSW-PLLC and Licensed marriage and family therapist Joseph Cavins, LMFT have a few thoughts that have helped us decode the precarious time in our lives.

Here's why some of us ignored how awful our first love might've been

1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.

Savannah Dematteo

I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.

"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.

As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."

Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.

2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.

Keira Burton

While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."

Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.

Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."

3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.

Luis Zambrano

Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?

Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.

You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says

4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.

Adely

*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."

Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.

4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.

Pavel Danilyuk

Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.

Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.

I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."

5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.

Ketut Subiyanto

Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."

At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.

What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?

Andrea Piacquadio

First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."

I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.

"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.

Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.

Here are Menon's tips:

  • Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
  • Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.

Anastasia Nagibina

I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?

I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.

"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."

Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."

He wants you to consider these things:

  • Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
  • Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
  • Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.

Menon's final piece of advice is similar in that she encourages you to be "self-critical, self-aware, and self-nourishing." She doesn't want you to be afraid to be "clear and transparent about your expectations for the relationship" either. Though we weren't a fan of the outcomes of our first real romantic relationships, they've made us wiser. So, shout out to our first loves for being the worst because they've become our best learning lessons.

That's not all! We have even more helpful articles about relationships & family if you're looking for everything from celebrity couples to navigating hard conversations during the holidays.

No matter how many times I rewatch The Vampire Diaries, there's nothing like seeing a cast reunion — and the weekend of December 6, we finally got to see our three favorite Mystic Falls gals together again! Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King were just some of The Vampire Diaries cast members who reunited for Epic Con to chat all things Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline...but things took a turn in the middle of the interview when one of the backdrops almost fell on Nina!

Keep reading to see what happened during The Vampire Diaries cast reunion with Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King.

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Even after all these years, Bonnie and Caroline are still saving Elena #tvd #thevampirediaries #ninadobrev #candiceking #katgraham #elanagilbert #carolineforbes #bonniebennett #epiccons

As someone who's done plenty of interviews myself, I know how fast a situation can spiral — and this interview accident is crazy. While talking on stage about the show, one of the backdrops begins to lean forward, and right before it falls on top of Nina, Candice and Kat quickly move to push it in the opposite direction.

"I don't want to see any 'Bonnie saves the day' memes," Kat jokes, referencing the fandom's love for Bonnie consistently helping the group throughout the show's eight-season run. "I don't want to see it, I don't want to hear it!" You can also see a relieved Nina hug Candice before revealing she thought it was a spider!

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In addition to this "Bonnie saves the day" moment (sorry, Kat, I couldn't help it!), the internet went crazy when Nina posted a video of her, Candice, and Kat recreating a photo they took during season 1 — especially after rumors have circulated for years that Kat Graham was mistreated on The Vampire Diaries set.

While these rumors have never been outright confirmed, fans have paid very special attention to what Kat has said...especially when she confirmedshe was the lowest-paid cast member and cried over her natural hair after revealing she wasn't really allowed to have an afro while filming.

"Love you girls so much!!!!!! 🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️" Kat commented on Nina's post, while a fan added, "And now the rumors can definitely be ended 🫶🏼❤️." These women are so powerful and clearly love each other so much, and I will take any and every cast reunion we can get!

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When Brit + Co caught up with Ian Somerhalder, he also expressed how much he loved filming The Vampire Diaries. "Every single day it was a laugh," he says. "I mean we had to be serious, you're running from ghosts and vampires and stuff, and you know, someone makes a fart joke and a 130 people erupt in laughter, there's only so much you can run for your life."

And thank goodness, Ian confirms just how much fun the cast had! "We laughed, that's how we kept each other sane," he says. "I spent 8 years on the show and now it's [been] 15 years. It's my longest relationship."

"I cannot believe it's been 15 years," he continues. "And so everyone who's seen the show, watched the show, supported us — and me — in any way, shape, and form regarding the show, I thank you from the bottom of my heart."

What would your dream The Vampire Diaries reunion look like? Let us know on Facebook!