5 Reasons Why Your Side Hustle Can Benefit Your Mental Health

Are there really assigned roles in friend groups or am I just imagining things?

Like I said before, it can seem like you and your friends unintentionally gravitate toward certain 'roles.' It's not like anyone woke up one day and decided, "I'm going to be the 'mother hen' of the group," but it tends to happen. Why?

Paruolo says, "In my clinical work, I've consistently observed that our friendship roles often mirror our early family dynamics. These patterns show up naturally — think about who in your friend group gets the first crisis call, who plans all the gatherings, or who everyone turns to for emotional support." I'm willing to bet you thought of a name for each scenario — including yours — because I know I did!

"Like in families, we each fall into specific roles that feel familiar to us," Paruolo further explains.

What actually makes someone an empathetic person?

There's so many definitions for empathy, but I thought it would be wise to ask a licensed professional for her opinion on the matter. "Empathy means to feel what others are feeling. You do not have to have a personal direct experience with something to feel empathy for another person," shares Paruolo.

For example, your friend could call to tell you she has to have fibroid removal surgery and is feeling scared. You may have never had surgery, but you could find yourself feeling the need to comfort her in spite of this. Paruolo says, "The cool thing about our brains is that we have mirror neurons, which means part of our brain is set up to feel what others feel. The ability to attune to others' emotional states comes naturally to some people, while others may need to develop this capacity more consciously."

To break it down even further, here's signs that Paruolo says point to your empathetic nature.

Physical Signs:

• Getting physically exhausted after being in crowds
• Feeling drained after social interactions, even enjoyable ones (OMG I feel so seen!)
• Needing extra time alone to recharge

Emotional Signs:

• Absorbing other people's emotions like a sponge
• Feeling anxious or overwhelmed in emotionally charged environments
• Finding it hard to watch violence or cruelty in movies/TV

Social Signs:

• Feeling responsible for others' happiness
• Having trouble saying "no" to people who need help

Mental Signs:

• Picking up on subtle changes in others' moods
• Being highly attuned to body language and tone
• Finding it hard to distinguish your feelings from others' feelings

It sounds like I'm the empathetic friend, but are there any downsides to this?

I've been an empath for as long as I can remember and I've found that I have to 'recharge' my social batteries at times. I thought it was because I was trying to be superwoman by fixing others' problems, but it turns out theres more to it than that. Paruolo says, "Empathetic friends and people have an uncanny ability to sense others' emotional states even when unspoken, and frequently need recovery time after intense social interactions. They tend to be deeply affected by others' experiences and naturally consider situations from multiple perspectives."

In the long run, she says it can be "distressing" for some people to always feel the feelings of others. Over time, she says, "it can cause you to shut down and retract." This can look like not being as quick to respond to the funny memes your friends send you or not even answering their phone calls right away.

But, this doesn't mean you're the only person who tends to go through this. "Many empaths struggle with maintaining boundaries due to their deep emotional attunement," she says. Color me guilty because this sounds so much like me. It got so bad at one point that my sister nicknamed me 'Captain Save-A-Lot,' which is actually the clean version of what she truly meant. Still, empathy fatigue is no laughing matter nor does it mean you're defected. You just have the natural ability to show people their feelings are important to you.

How can I protect my peace as the empathetic friend?

You know you need to set boundaries, but what does that mean? Paruolo says, "The key is understanding that empathy needs to be balanced with compassion - it's not just about feeling others' emotions but also knowing how to help without depleting yourself."

One of the things she loves to do is "encourage empaths to set clear boundaries around their emotional availability and make time for regular grounding exercises." As with gratitude journaling, try to focus on an activity that calls for you to be present. Focus on what you can hear, see, touch, taste, and smell.

"Self-care isn't just a luxury; it's essential maintenance for empaths. This might mean scheduling alone time, finding a supportive therapist, or joining communities where you can process your experiences," Paruolo implores.

I know how to be there for others, but how do I ask for emotional support when I need it?

You may feel like it's impossible to ask others for help since your shoulders are the ones people cry on, but you're only doing yourself a disservice by not speaking up. No one's super resilient or able to handle all of their distressing feelings alone. We're not meant to.

It's the reason Paruolo wants you to speak up about what you need. "The most effective approach I've seen is being direct about your needs rather than hoping others will figure them out," she says. I made this mistake during postpartum and found myself expecting my family & friends to know exactly how I felt, but they're not mind readers. The more I verbally asked for help with little or big tasks, the more my mental and emotional load lightened.

Paruolo wants you to look at "asking for support as strengthening your friendships through trust and vulnerability, instead of waiting until you're overwhelmed." By the time you reach that point, you'll be ready to enter rage or full-blown shut down mode and they're not fun.

Avoid unlocking their proverbial doors by scheduling "regular check-ins with trusted friends," suggests Paruolo. "This creates a sustainable support system and helps prevent emotional crisis points.

Intentional Thoughts

I'm someone who has a hard time letting things go; I can agonize over one thought or situation for days! Because of this, I focus a lot on taking thoughts captive, which just means pinpointing anxious thoughts and replacing them with what I know is true.

When I have an anxious thought, I do a creative visualization exercise in which I imagine it's inside a bubble floating over my head. Then I slam an imaginary door over the memory and lock it. Then the bubble explodes and the thought doesn't exist anymore. It's not necessarily pretending like it never happened, but it does allow me to exercise some control over what I allow myself to spend time and energy thinking about.

—Choe Williams, Entertainment Editor

Breathing Techniques

My mom is a Pre-K teacher and suggested I try the breathing exercises she does with her kids who are just four years old (I'm 31 for context). The first is called Mountain Breathing, which entails holding up your hand and tracing the outline of your fingers. As you climb up the mountain (or your finger), inhale, and as you trace down into the valley between your fingers, exhale. Another breathing visualization she recommends is as you inhale, imagine yourself breathing in to smell the flowers, and exhale to blow out a candle. These little imaginative scenarios help me get out of my head and focus on my breathing when I need a little reset throughout the day.

Hammock Swinging

Whenever I'm feeling super stressed, I head for the hammock I setup in my front yard. Just as rocking can soothe babies, swinging in a hammock is a powerful soother for adults too! I feel super chilled afterwards and am usually getting some Vitamin D while I'm at it for a win-win.

Painting

During the pandemic, I revisited arts and crafts with soft pastels. I started mixing the colors and doing gradient shadings on card stock with my hands, and it proved to be a super meditative way to decompress. The end result is DIY art you can share or pin on your fridge or wall.

—Alison Ives, Head Of Content

Breathing Techniques

Nothing calms me down quite like alternate-nostril breathing. I first learned about this technique in my yoga classes, but the practice (called Nadi Shodhana in Sanskrit) dates back to the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, which was thought to be written sometime between 200 BC and 200 CE. Put simply, you sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and cover one nostril while you breathe in through the other. Then, you switch which nostril you're holding closed, and breathe out. In modern times, the connection between vagal nerve tone (which is correlated with anxiety and emotional regulation) and alternate-nostril breathing is becoming more and more mainstream, which may eventually help us better understand why this practice is so naturally calming.

Tarot Reading

Tarot can mean a lot of different things to different people. For me, I use tarot cards as a method to help me understand what lessons I'm learning at any given time. This has allowed me to view stressors in my life as learning experiences, which has helped me stay calm in numerous crises. I personally like to light some incense or a scented candle, sit quietly, and pull a card to see what resonates. That said, tarot and its associated images and meanings can be scary or triggering if you don't have a deep and gentle understanding of what the cards mean. I recommend Lindsay Mack's classes and podcasts for anyone who wants to learn about tarot in a non-judgemental, non-predictive, trauma-informed way.

—Maggie McCracken, Former Senior Editor

Sensory Accessories

My recent ways of coping/de-stressing have primarily been spiky sensory finger rings, which are a huge help when I need to get something done and can't stop my day to destress. I grab one of these guys which I have all over the place (most of my jacket pockets + purses), and it helps to calm me down and reset my focus.

Meditation On The Move

Another thing I do that I am trying to integrate into my daily routine is guided meditation walks. As someone who hasn't mastered sitting meditation I've found some on Headspace that I'm enjoying that are specifically for going on a walk through a city.

—Claire Shadomy, Former Graphic Designer

Baths...

In times of high stress, or after a long day, my go-to is always a candle-lit bath soak. I put a large scoop of Epsom salts in the tub with a few drops of my favorite essential oil and place tea lights all around the tub. It’s like my secret getaway from the rest of the world. I always make a point to leave my phone in the other room too so I utilize the time to just relax in silence. Water triggers the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for the body's “rest and digest” response. It always gets my heart rate and blood pressure down.

...And Sound Baths

Sound baths are a meditative experience where you’re “bathed” in sound waves. I love to watch them online but you can also create your own experience. I find meditating with a singing bowl so relaxing. It can take a little practice, but once you’ve nailed the hand movement, it’s an interactive way to ease stress and channel your focus elsewhere.

—Allison Cimo, Former Social Media Manager

Take A Hike

Pretty much every day in 2020 I walked the trails near my house and I started to pick up a small rock each time. I'd fidget with it while I cleared my mind and let nature calm my nerves. I would throw the rock back into nature after my hike and it felt like a release for all of my worries.

Bedtime Music

My daughter and I listen to Doze sleep music on Headspace before we go to bed. It calms her late-night zoomies (and mine) and gets her to sleep in minutes!

—Theresa Gonzalez, Branded Content Editor

Journaling

What I use for my anxiety is the Intelligent Change Five Minute Journal. I have a safe word in place for when I feel myself spiraling or I'm not able to control my thoughts and breathing.

—Brittney Davis, Account Manager

The Best Body Wash For Eczema-Prone Skin

This fragrance-free body wash stays in my shower not only because it's doesn't have pesky (and irritating) perfumes, but it's also super soothing. I feel like I'm at a spa each time I use it, and I've definitely noticed my skin isn't dry when I get out of the shower. It has a 5% nourishing serum in it along with colloidal oatmeal and was co-created by dermatologists who get it. The best part is that it not only does my skin look better, but I haven't experienced much body acne with it either. Plus, Amazon's customers less likely to return it!

Prior to using this, I was an avid Bath & Body Works body wash user. Before you throw tomatoes at me, I didn't know how much they were affecting my skin until I started doing more research in college. Once I learned better, I stopped using them and haven't looked back.

Another alternative to this is something Dr. Woolery-Lloyd suggests using — Dove's Sensitive Skin Body Wash. I used to use it prior to falling in love with Soothing Relief formula because it's hypoallergenic and equally moisturizing. It's just a little creamier!

Customer Reviews For Dove's Soothing Relief Body Wash

Some of the top reviews on Amazon for this body wash are:

• "I absolutely love this wonderful, silky, smooth, make you feel so sexy type of body wash! I have eczema & to find a body wash that works for me is saying A LOT! For having sensitive skin, I love how this is fragrance free, my skin is smooth & soft, not dry or dried out, not itchy, & great for after shaving, no razor bumps or redness!"
• "This seems to have really improved my skin. It's great for sensitive skin."
• "This has NO SCENT. Not even a weird “unscented” scent- you other itchy folk know what I’m talking about.
  Creamy but lathers like a dream and you only need like two pumps! Rinses off easily. Skin doesn’t feel dry or tight or… itchy! Like, at all! I will be ordering this over and over!"
• "I have uber sensitive skin and have to be very careful in which products I use. This product feels really nice on my skin and has a positive, moisturizing and calming effect. I would highly recommend."

Shop The Best Body Wash For Eczema

Dove Soothing Relief Body Wash

Other Great Body Washes For Eczema:

Vanicream Gentle Body Wash

Dr. Woolery-Lloyd and Dr. Collins both recommend this body wash for those who have eczema: "It's free of dyes, fragrance, lanolin, and other common irritants.This product helps maintain moisture and reduce irritation, making it suitable for regular use," says Dr. Collins.

Aveeno Skin Relief Body Wash

Dr. Collins loves Aveeno's Skin Relief Body Wash because it "contains colloidal oatmeal, which is soothing and helps relieve itching."

Cetaphil Pro Dry Skin Soothing Wash

"It's soap-free, fragrance-free, and designed for sensitive skin," says Dr. Collins.

More Eczema-Friendly Body Wash Recommendations

CeraVe Soothing Body Wash

This body wash has more of an oil consistency because of the Omega Oils found in it. They help to add moisture back to dry skin while Niacinamide helps soothe it if you've been experiencing irritation.

Naturium The Glow Getter Multi-Oil Body Wash

This hydrating body wash may start off as an oil, but it quickly forms into a rich, moisturizing lather that we love. Although it's not specifically designed for eczema-prone skin, but the good news is that it works for everyone. It has over 50% glycerin and phyto lipids in to help "maintain healthy skin barrier and acid mantle" so you'll enjoy something luxurious for only $16!

Kopari Hydrating Body Wash

This hydrating body wash has moisturizing coconut water and sea kelp in it, making it the vegan option you'll be glad you tried. It also has aloe vera juice in it which helps maintain the skin's collagen.

What is eczema?

Eczema isn't necessarily a secret, but not everyone knows how it's actually defined or characterized. Both Dr. Woolery-Lloyd and Dr. Collins agree that eczema is also referred to as atopic dermatitis. Dr. Collins says, "It's a chronic skin condition characterized by inflamed, itchy, and often red or discolored patches on the skin. It can affect people of all ages but is commonly seen in children." The Asthma & Allergy Network reports "15-20% of children globally" have it which seems to coincide with the CDC discovering "nearly 1 in 5 children have a seasonal allergy." Dr. Woolery-Lloyd adds, "It tends to run in families." This makes sense because my mom had eczema, passed it on to me, and now my son has it!

She also says, "People with mild eczema may experience persistent dryness and itchiness, while more severe cases can lead to painful, cracked, and even bleeding skin." While it's not central to one location, Dr. Woolery-Lloyd says eczema commonly shows up "inside of the elbows, behind the knees, and the face."

Some cases of eczema differs from others, but it can become severe. The reason it exists in the body is because of "a dysfunction in the skin barrier" that leads to "an increased loss of moisture and heightened sensitivity to external irritants, allergens, and microbes," Dr. Collins expounds.

What triggers eczema flare-ups?

I briefly mentioned some things that can trigger eczema flare-ups, but they're not all encompassing. Dr. Collins says, "Eczema flare-ups can be triggered by several factors, including environmental irritants (like certain fabrics, soaps, and fragrances), allergens (such as dust mites, pet dander, and pollen), stress, dry or cold weather, and even certain foods in some individuals."

If your dermatologist suspects you may be allergic to something you're eating, they may want you to take an allergy test. This is how I found out I was allergic to a ton of environmental factors, cats, and dogs! But why does this happen, you ask? "The skin’s barrier function is compromised in eczema-prone individuals, making it more reactive to these external and internal triggers," says Dr. Collins. So, it's rarely your fault when your skin gets triggered!

Dr. Woolery-Lloyd also says "emotional stress can exacerbate eczema symptoms" as well! This is usually my first sign that I'm super stressed or heading towards burnout!

How can someone with eczema care for their skin during cooler months?

My son has been seeing a dermatologist for the past couple of months, and she's made it clear that he needs to not only avoid certain factors (fragrances, itchy fabrics, etc), but she also let us know his skin actually requires we add other elements to his routine, too. Both Dr. Collins and Dr. Woolery-Lloyd want you to stay as moisturized as possible.

Dr. Collins says, "During cooler months, it’s essential to focus on hydrating and protecting the skin barrier." Her tips are to"

• Moisturize regularly with rich, fragrance-free creams or ointments.
• Use a humidifier indoors to combat dry air.
• Take lukewarm showers and avoid hot water, which can further dry out the skin.
• Wear soft, breathable fabrics to avoid irritation, especially when layering.
• Avoid long showers, as prolonged exposure to water can dehydrate the skin.

Which products and ingredients should people with eczema avoid?

Over the years, I've learned that anything that has artificial fragrances in them tends to trigger itchy and splotchy hives. Sometimes they're tiny clusters, but they can look like welts if my skin is super irritated. Dr. Collins says, "Individuals with eczema should avoid products with harsh fragrances, alcohol, sulfates, and synthetic dyes, as these can irritate the skin further." Also, sodium lauryl suflate (SLS) is also good to avoid because it "can strip the skin of its natural oils, exacerbating dryness," explains Dr. Collins. Sadly, she feels you shouldn't use popular "exfoliating ingredients" like salicylic acid or retinoids because they "can be too harsh for sensitive, eczema-prone skin."

A list of other things Dr. Woolery-Lloyd wants you to avoid are:

• Harsh surfactants - Harsh surfactants, such as sodium laureth sulfate (SLES), can strip the skin of its natural oils, leading to dryness and irritation.
• Alcohol - Alcohol can be drying to the skin, which can worsen eczema.
• Essential oils - Essential oils can be irritating to the skin and can trigger a flare-up of eczema.
• Alpha hydroxy acids (AHAs) and Beta hydroxy acids (BHAs) - Acids in skincare can be irritating to eczema-prone skin.
• Dyes - Dyes can sometimes irritate eczema-prone skin and can trigger a flare-up of eczema.

She encourages you to "read product labels carefully."

What are good eczema-friendly body washes?

Knowing this, both Dr. Collins and Dr. Woolery-Lloyd want you to use a body wash that's going to cleanse your skin instead of hurting it. "For eczema-prone skin, it’s best to choose gentle, fragrance-free body washes that are formulated to support the skin barrier," says Dr. Collins.