18 Beyoncé-Inspired DIYs That Run the World

Kate Thorn
Aug 09, 2016

With the Formation Tour absolutely slaying its way across the world and becoming the summer’s hottest event, it only makes sense to pay homage to Queen Bey with some fierce DIY projects. You can update your accessories with home decor that’s inspired by Lemonade or put her killer lyrics on everything from tote bags to wall art and cocktail glasses — the possibilities are endless! So whip up a cold glass of Bey’s grandma’s sacred lemonade and get ready to #slay these 18 DIY projects. Who runs the world? Makers!

1. DIY Lemon Headband: Buh-bye flower crown — hello, lemon love. Throw together this lemonade headband in honor of Bey’s Hawaii vacay and rock those tropical vibes the rest of the summer. (via Brit + Co)

2. DIY Beyonce Lyric Quote Cocktail Glasses: You won’t be able to stop singing when you pour your pretty pink cocktails into these lyric glasses. Stock up on plenty of blank glasses because Queen B has a lot of killer quotes. (via Bespoke Bride)

3. DIY Lemon Photo Booth: When Bey gives you Lemonade, make a photo booth and get your #squad together for a seriously sunny photo shoot. Put giant lemon slices on your bike wheels or put together a lemon wedge piñata for the ultimate lemon-inspired party. (via Studio DIY)

4. DIY Watermelon Pillow: Use this pillow as inspiration for a DIY project. Pick up an inexpensive pink pillow and use white iron-on letters to spell out the sassy summer message. Then dab on black fabric paint to make the seeds. (via Society 6)

5. DIY Kale Sweatshirt: Kale, yes you need this sweatshirt in your closet. Vamp up an old shirt with your own KALE type and print it out on iron-on transfer paper or get pre-made iron-on letters at a craft store for a super quick and easy DIY project. (via Brit + Co)

6. DIY Statement Shower Curtain: Only your shower knows what you really look like in the morning, so why not embrace your hot mess with a statement shower curtain and a solid Beyoncé quote to get you going. All you need for this quick bathroom makeover is a printer and colorful fabric paint. Oh, and a shower curtain. (via A Beautiful Mess)

7. DIY Beyonce Tote Bag: You’ll never forget your bags in the car again when you take this tote shopping. Pick your favorite lyrics (yes, it’s an impossible task), print and iron onto a tote bag. (via We Can Make Anything)

8. Cardinal and Fitz Beyonce Embroidery Hoop ($22): If you haven’t jumped on the embroidering trend yet, consider this a serious piece of Bey-spiration. Get ready to tackle your favorite quote or take our Embroidered Typography Online Class for a little extra encouragement.

9. DIY Fruit Slice Shelves: The #shelfie trend has everyone focused on the top of the shelf, but what about adding some color underneath? Copy Beyoncé’s two fave fruits — watermelon and lemons — for a sweet summer decor project that you’ll never want to take down. (via A Bubbly Life)

10. Urban Outfitters Flawless Bathmat ($34): Everyone needs a little encouragement in the morning when they look like a hot mess. Hack this UO bathmat with an inexpensive mat and a steady hand with the fabric paint.

11. DIY Pineapple Two-Piece: Get ready to combine two of your all-time favorite things: pineapples and Bey’s awesome #OOTD. The best part of this project? Practicing your dance moves while you wait for the painted pineapples to dry. (via Brit + Co)

12. DIY Watermelon Floppy Hat: If summer has you drunk in love, you’re going to want to DIY this hat ASAP. Now, where to find that watermelon cocktail? (via Studio DIY)

13. Black & Boo Giant Typography Art ($11): This clean typography art print would look amazing on a gallery wall or flying solo. Even if you’re not an artist, all you need are a couple of stencils to recreate this simple, graphic wall art piece.

14. DIY Lemon Free Printable: Turn up Beyoncé and add some serious color to your gallery wall. Seriously, who says no to lemons?? Especially when you can use them to make Beyoncé’s grandma’s sacred lemonade recipe. (via Bre Purposed)

15. DIY Tote Bag: Your tote bag will slay wherever you take it with these sassy lyrics. Use iron-on letters for a quick and easy DIY project. After all, the faster you make it, the faster you can take it out and show it off. (via Brit + Co)

16. Shop Josie B Slay Doormat ($38): Swap out “Hey girl hey” for the wise words of Queen B and give your squad doormat envy every time they come visit. Use this Etsy mat as inspo to DIY your own with an inexpensive mat, stencils and outdoor spray paint.

17. DIY Coloring Song Lyric Posters: You won’t be able to stop singing these lyrics while you’re coloring in this free printable. Once you’ve finished coloring, frame that print and hang it up in your bedroom or office for a playful piece of wall art. (via Damask Love)

18. DIY Lemon Crop Top: Once you’ve finished making Bey’s sacred lemonade, use the lemon halves to stamp out a legit pattern on a little white top. Cover the entire top with citrusy goodness and wear it loud and proud whenever you need a little extra fierceness in your OOTD. (via Brit + Co)

How many of these Beyoncé-inspired DIY projects will you make? Follow us on Pinterest for more decor ideas and inspo!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

20 Thoughtful Handmade Gifts That'll Wow Your Loved Ones

Brand-new gift sets, foodie gifts, beauty gifts, and the like are sure to bring joy this year, but if you're planning to give something with a personal twist, handmade gifts are *the* way to go. The possibilities are truly endless when you employ your creativity and craft items that your gift recipients have maybe seen (or received) before – hats, cards, coasters, picture holders, and more await.

Check out these entirely homemade gifts that will spark your next holiday idea! Some components of these handmade gifts can even be thrifted, saving you some cash along the way.

Here are the best handmade gift ideas to give your loved ones this holiday season.

Anete Lusina / PEXELS

1. Start simple and make them a personalized card.

Nothing communicates your love, time, and effort behind a gift more than personalized cards. Even if you can’t DIY the gift itself, having a handmade card (with a thoughtful message inside) as a prelude to the unwrapping ritual will touch everyone’s heart. Make sure to craft yours on some hardy cardstock so they feel *extra* special. Peep some of these stellar holiday card ideas for inspiration!

@miascozycorner i inadvertently seem to have to fallen into a purple theme?? #christmascrafts#diychristmasdecor#diychristmasornaments#claycreations#tiktokdiy#christmas♬ original sound - mia 🍒

2. Sculpt some cutie gift toppers.

Handmade gift wrapping elements will also step up your holiday game. These darling little gift toppers that @miascozycorner made out of polymer clay are sure to inspire your own designs! Decorate the shapes you make with paint pens and coat them in Liquitex for durability, then attach them to your gift box or bag using some cute ribbon or yarn.

Riley Williams

3. Use air-dry clay to make picture holders.

Clay is your BFF for making handmade gifts. This idea from @rileyrosestudio lets your giftee display pictures, memories, cards, or even recipe cards in the form of their favorite food! Go for a trendier take by sculpting an olive or tomato out of air-dry clay, or opt to craft something as intricate as a burger or pizza slice – no matter what shape it is, they’re sure to love it. Riley usesgesso to prime her air-dry clay pieces, then an acrylic sealant to make sure those lovely designs stay put.

Meredith Holser

4. Make an orange garland for them.

A dried orange garland takes an entire day (and sometimes more) to make, so your recipient should definitely feel special knowing you put hours of love into this handmade gift. Though they look intricate, you only need to follow a few steps (and have few materials: orange slices, twine, and a thick yarn needle) to achieve the cozy garland. Luckily, there are tons of citrus garland tutorials on social media to assist in your creation. B+C Creative Assistant, Meredith, tied cutie little pink ribbon bows on her homemade garland.

Krissy Derrick

5. Craft a candle holder using clay.

You could use a pottery kitlike these convenient ones to make anything, really, but this wavy candelabra from @modeletto.store will make one of the most unique handmade gifts! Don’t forget to *also* gift somecandlesticks alongside it.

Mariam Antadze / PEXELS

6. Make coasters out of air-dry clay and gift them alongside thrifted glassware.

To make some handmade coasters, roll out some air-dry clay, let it dry, and coat it with gesso before you get to painting! The canvas is yours with this gift idea, but here are a few concepts to get the creative juices flowing: smiley faces, rainbows, spirals, initials, and fruits or vegetables. Ensure that your hard work stays in place with a sealant that’ll repel moisture. Some thrifted glassware pieces to give alongside your handmade coasters would be the absolute cherry on top!

Meredith Holser

7. Create a collage out of old magazines.

Magazines are really not hard to come by, and if you're looking for a sustainable gift, you can find some especially unique ones at re-sell bookstores or thrift stores to make your own collage. Some of the best ones to start with are Vogue and National Geographic. There are a lot of different techniques and themes you could run with, so we recommend doing some visual research on Pinterest beforehand to nail down your collage's concept. Maybe it's full of imagery that reminds you of your relationship, or a jumble of words that form a sweet poem – it's really up to you! Just have glue, an X-Acto knife, and a cutting board on-hand for the process. Complete this artsy handmade gift by signing your work and framing the collage in a nifty frame.

Meredith Holser

8. Thread a handmade necklace using thrifted or secondhand beads.

Got a necklace you don’t love? Deconstruct that baby using small wire cutters or scissors so that you can use the leftover beads and charms to make something entirely new! If you don’t have them on-hand already, you will need some beading cord, bead clamps, jump rings, clasps, and pliers.

Brit + Co

9. DIY your very own body care line.

Making your own body scrubs or balt salts is *a lot* easier than you’d think. Some recipes only call for ingredients you’d find in your kitchen! Make a range of self-care products at home, then package them up in thrifted jars with ribbon and a handmade tag to really impress.

Ron Lach / PEXELS

10. Repurpose cans and tins by pouring candles into them.

Fish tin candles are in, but you can really use any vessel to pour your own candles in. All you need is some candle wax, wicks, and a scent of your choice to create something super unique! Try your first handmade candle with an empty, clean tinned fish tin, then get adventurous with soda cans or crushed tomato cans to bring out that Tomato Girl energy for your gift recipient.

Karolina Grabowska / PEXELS

11. Make a batch of jam.

If foodie gifts are their thing, then there’s no better item to give than, well, food! We have an amazingly tasty fig jamrecipe, but you can take the reins on what fruity flavor you’ll whip up. This is a convenient handmade gift, too, because the result won’t go bad or spoil before the big day.

Karolina Grabowska / PEXELS

12. Make a batch of spice mix.

In the same vein of shelf-stable foodie-snacky gifts, spice mixes are always a good idea, and really easy to make at home. Mix together some cajun seasoning, all-purpose seasoning, ranch, or everything bagel seasoning in no time before packing it up in small thrifted jars to gift!

Roman Odinstov / PEXELS

13. Make a batch of chili oil.

Chili oil is very buzzy at the moment, but instead of dropping a bag on a single jar, make your own at home to yield a few! Our recipe uses neutral oil, star anise, cinnamon stick, bay leaves, Sichuan peppercorns, salt, chili flakes, garlic and soy sauce.It only takes a moment to make, but you’ll want the mixture to sit for a week or so, that way the nuanced flavors can all sink in. You could even gift a few recipe cards (like these delectable feta fried eggs) alongside a jar, since chili oil is exceptionally yummy on a ton of dishes.

Anete Lusina / PEXELS

14. Knit or crochet a hat, scarf, or another garment you know they’d like.

Having knitting and/or crochet skills is invaluable when it comes to gifting season. You can easily find patterns online for creating beanies, blankets, scarves, leg warmers, balaclavas, mittens, and more, so your giftee can stay stylishly warm beyond the holidays in a bespoke garment that *you* made!

Damir / PEXELS

15. Make magnets out of air-dry clay for their fridge.

Again, air-dry clay rules the world of handmade gifts. For a smaller project, make some fridge decorations by painting on air-dry clay shapes. You can make hearts, stars, foods, faces, animals, and more! To make your designs magnetized, super glue some small magnet tabs on the back of them.

小龙 魏 / PEXELS

16. Paint a glass bottle with your own design to gift a plant cutting.

You can easily thrift a glass vessel (or use one you already have), paint a unique design on it using glass paint, then fill it with a little bit of water to gift a small plant cutting! This way, you’re giving them a stylish home decor piece along with a heirloom piece of nature that they’ll admire every day as it grows.

Brit + Co

17. DIY an ornament (or a few) for them.

Tree ornaments are 100% on-theme for the holidays, so if you feel a little lost on what to gift, try DIY-ing some ornaments of varying styles! We have some DIYs for punnyones and minimalistones, but there are also a ton of other tutorials on social media that can guide you in the direction you want to take.

Mati Mango / PEXELS

18. Burn a CD full of tracks they’d like.

It may seem a little old-school now, but the gift idea of burning a CD will appeal to every gift recipient that’s old enough to remember portable CD players. They can play it in their car or through their at-home speaker system to jam out. Just grab a pack of blank CDs that come with covers, and let the nostalgic process take you away.

In addition to making your own playlist to gift, you should definitely consider designing an album cover and tracklist for that personalized touch – platforms like Canva are a great option for doing this. The music-lover in your life will surely appreciate the time you took to craft each and every detail of the CD – and maybe they’ll even discover some new tunes along the way!

Brit + Co

19. Bake them a big batch of cookies.

You just can’t go wrong with sweets during the holidays! Whatever form they come in – vegan, gluten-free, paleo – cookies are sure to satisfy your giftee. We have a ton of recipes you could check out (I highly recommend the Taylor Swift chai cookies), but if you already have a method to your madness, whip up whatever dessert recipe you have in mind. Just make sure they’re fairly fresh when you hand them over.

If you don’t have a neat cookie tin on-hand, run to your nearest thrift store. It’s guaranteed that you’ll find a cute one to house your cookies!

Brit + Co

20. Decorate a plant pot with pops of color.

If your gift recipient has a green thumb, it’s not a bad idea to gift them a few plant-related things. Luckily, handmade gifts have a stake in this – just grab a terracotta pot (you can easily thrift one or find one for cheap at the dollar store) and some chalk pens, then decorate the exterior however you like.

To get some ideas flowing, you could include illustrated motifs of your relationship with this person, write their name out in bubble letters, or just doodle random designs. Matching their interior design aesthetic is definitely recommended.

Sign up for our newsletter for all things gifty!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

This post has been updated.

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10 Booze-Free Ways To Ring In The New Year

When it comes to New Year's Eve celebrations, the first thought that probably springs to mind is boozing it up with an NYE cocktail. And while there's nothing wrong with sipping some bubbly (if that's your inclination), those of us who prefer to keep thingsnon-alc may feel like there are no New Year's-appropriate activities for our preferences. We say that nothing could be further from the truth! Whether you're pregnant, abstaining, or just taking a break from the booze, here are 10 fun ideas for ringing in 2025, the sober way.

Attend A Silent Disco

A few years ago, just as the sober-curious movement was gaining steam, companies like Daybreaker brought 6 a.m. sober dance parties to the masses. In a similar vein are remote silent discos – events where you put your headphones on and dance it out to the music of world-class DJs right in the comfort of your own home (or in person, if you feel like venturing out).

A quick Google search will reveal that there are tons of options to shake it off on New Year's Eve, whether remotely or in-person in your city. Because silent discos have an alternative vibe, they're much more sober-friendly than traditional clubs and dance parties.

Make A Tea Bar

Photo by Jill Wellington / PEXELS

If you've ever been to a party where they had aProsecco bar or something similar, you know how fun themed bars can be. Why not make a NA equivalent with a tea bar? We're not just talking about hot water and tea bags... include exciting staples like bubble tea, kombucha, Southern-style sweet iced tea, and more!

Do A Goal-Setting Ritual

Brit + Co

Not in the mood to party this year? Celebrate the New Year with some introspection by doing a goal-setting ritual. You can design the ritual in whatever manner you like, but we recommend something along the lines of:

  • Light a candle and sit quietly for a few minutes.
  • Whip out your journal and take inventory of the last year: What were your best memories? What are you grateful for? Where do you think you could've improved?
  • In your journal (we have some killer prompts to start you off), mindfully list out your goals for 2025. They don't have to be New Year's resolutions, exactly, but include small steps you can take in the new year to help you achieve your goals!

Make A 2025 Scrapbook

Brit + Co

Before New Year's Eve, head to your local craft store and pick up some supplies for making an old-fashioned scrapbook. Print out some photos from your most treasured memories of the year (we like printing with Walgreens), and gather any magazines you purchased or journal entries you wrote.

You can also look up some news headlines that made an impact on you, and print out the article as well as photos of any notable celebs or politicians who made the news. On New Year's eve, put together a scrapbook of what made 2024, 2024.

Good, bad, or otherwise, the year was one to remember — so create a momento that will help you re-live the past year in the years to come.

Plan A Costume Party

Brit + Co

Believe it or not, masquerade balls, dressing up in costumes, and concealing one's identity have a long history in the historical celebrations of Christmastime. So we think a New Year's costume party is a fully appropriate idea for a sober New Year's Eve.

Who needs booze to have fun when you can dress up as whoever you want for a night of merriment and mystery?

Karaoke It Up

Photo by Mikhail Nilov / PEXELS

Another fun party pastime that's fun with or without booze? Singing! Grab some friends for a sober karaoke night either at your house or a private karaoke room. The singing's bound to be better than it would be if you were imbibing... who knows, maybe you'll steal the show with your rendition of "I'm Just Ken."

Cook A Fancy Meal

Whether you're spending the evening with your S/O or your BFF, cook a fancydinner for two. New Year's Eve is the perfect time to get fancy with food, so use this opportunity to ring in 2025 with only the finest cuisine. Don't forget to make a mocktail to go with!

Host A Game Night

Brit + Co

Bring all your besties over and host a board game night that's sure to be one for the books. Have everyone bring their favorite game – from Cards Against Humanity to Codenames – for a riotous evening that will remind you that you absolutely don't need booze to have a rowdy night of laughter!

Play 2024 Trivia

Photo by Askar Abayev / PEXELS

Before New Year's Eve, compile a long list of trivia questions about 2024. Alternatively, have a friend do it for you, or do a quick Google search... there are a lot of trivia quizzes out there. On the big night, gather your squad together to see how much you remember about 2024. The results may surprise you!

Host A Murder-Mystery Dinner

Image via Amazon

Murder-mystery dinners are still one of the best ways to facilitate a heart-racing and mind-boggling party. Pick up one of the many murder mystery dinner kits out there and have your besties over for a night of thinking on your toes — to be fair, it's probably best to skip the booze for this idea anyway, for the sake of your mental acuity.

Are you planning a sober New Year's Eve party this year? Tweet us @BritandCo to share your plans, and don't forget to subscribe to our newsletter for more booze-free hacks and party ideas!

Brit + Co. may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations. This post has been updated.

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Give Them Something One-Of-A-Kind With These DIY Christmas Gift Ideas

'Tis the season... for giving and getting things you (and your giftees) might not really need. With sustainability becoming a paramount concern for many and the drawbacks of overconsumption entering our collective consciousness, the idea of gifting thoughtful, handmade, and possibly even zero-waste gifts is becoming ever more appealing. The only problem? We're not all as handy as we might like to be. Don't worry though — you don't need to be an expert maker to craft these DIY Christmas gifts! From beginner to advanced, there's a homemade Christmas gift idea for giver and giftee alike.

1. Edible DIY Christmas Gift Ideas

Brit + Co

If you know your way around a kitchen, don't sleep on the opportunity to give your loved ones an edible gift. You know it'll get used (AKA eaten), and it's essentially a zero-waste gift-giving strategy.

We love making pretty desserts that work well as gifts, like this matcha yogurt bark, this peppermint bark, these super easy Christmas cookie recipes, and these edible gift ideas. Package them up with these creative gift wrapping techniques, or forego paper altogether and wrap them with a cute kitchen towel for a zero-waste approach.

2. DIY Craft Kits To Gift

Etsy

If you're a complete beginner to DIY and handmade Christmas gifts, it might be smart to start out with a kit. A DIY kit allows you to fashion a thoughtful gift that shows your recipient just how much time and effort you put into giving them something special.

This DIY permanent jewelry kit is perfect for someone who wants to give their bestie a one-of-a-kind present this year. You can also DIY Christmas-scented candles, grow your loved one's birth month flower, or construct a super-cute tiny house to be displayed as kitschy decor.

3. Handmade Christmas Gifts

Photo By: Kaboompics.com

We love a good DIY. Our favorite presents are handmade Christmas gifts, and we've shared a ton of homemade gift ideas in our time.

A cute winter terrarium is perfect for the quirky decor lover in your life, while nothing brings the hygge vibes more than a hand-knit blanket. Give your favorite houseplant lover some gorgeous flora in one of these DIY cement planters, or embroider a pillow that'll add a cute touch of color to your bestie's home!

4. DIY Home Decor

Brit + Co

Speaking of your bestie's home, we've got plenty of ideas for DIY Christmas gifts you can give in the home decor category.

Spruce up a simple IKEA desk to give your work wife a WFH chair that's cute and from the heart. Make magazine wall art in your giftee's favorite colors to add a homemade, kitschy touch to their space. This Anthro-inspired DIY chandelier is another great option for artsy decor lovers.

A friend who loves hostessing will appreciate this pineapple cutting board, and someone who's into the beauty of organization will swoon over this DIY wall organizer.

DIY Jewelry

Brit + Co

Many of us adore jewelry, so why not give someone in your life a cute and colorful accessory this holiday season? These acrylic earrings are super colorful and adorable, while this DIY choker is '90s inspired and totally on-trend. We also love this geode statement necklace and this cute necklace made out of old tee shirts. Talk about sustainable style!

Love these DIY Christmas gift ideas? Be sure to subscribe to our newsletter for gift guides, recipes, and other holiday inspo!

Brit + Co. may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

This post has been updated.

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This Unexpected Trader Joe’s Home Decor Find Is Sending Customers Into A Frenzy: “OMG Need.”

As fun as Trader Joe’s snacks and desserts are, there’s one aisle you definitely should not skip – and that’s their plant section. Trader Joe’s is constantly stocking up on blooms like orchids and monsteras, all of which are easy to take care of once they make it home from the store.

Any houseplant lover knows the easiest of all easy houseplants is the famed pothos. I can water mine (I have about 5 pothos plants) once every two weeks, and they will. not. die. Right now, Trader Joe’s is selling pothos for cheap – but not just any pothos. They currently come along with a stunning hanging pot that you’ll instantly want to put up in your home.

Scroll on to discover more about this unique Trader Joe’s plant find!

@traderjoesobsessed

That’s right – Trader Joe’s shelves now include disco ball hanging planters. I repeat: disco ball hanging planters! The sphere-shaped pot is covered in reflective disco tiles that’ll certainly make your living room feel like a dance club. The best part is that pothos plants naturally look amazing when they’re grown hanging, so you can watch this baby flourish all year long.

@traderjoesobsessed

TJ’s fan account @traderjoesobsessed recently spotted the disco ball hanging planters at their local Trader Joe’s and shared the new find with their Instagram followers. Tons of them chimed in about their excitement for the product in the comments!

“I need this now😍,” one person commented.

“The way I gasped when I saw this 😍🪩,” another said.

“I bought one today and totally love it👍,” someone else commented.

“I suddenly need to buy more plants,” one more person wrote.

Several shoppers in the comment section noted that they were able to track down the disco ball hanging planters pretty easily, while others reported that they haven’t seen them in their stores quite yet. This is your sign to keep an eye out on your next TJ’s trip!

Reddit

@traderjoesobsessed reports that the disco ball hanging planters go for $12.99 in stores. Their affordable price makes them such a great gift for yourself or a loved one, plus the sparkles on the disco ball are perfect for livening up your space for a New Year’s refresh.

Run to TJ’s soon – I know I will!

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3 Key Things Super Compatible Couples Never Argue About, According To Experts

By now, you may be able to recognize signs of gaslighting or other toxicbehaviors, but do you know how to take everything you've learned and become a super compatible couple? According to experts, there are a few key things super compatible couples rarely argue about — even with whatever faults each person brings to the relationship table. While the topics these couples avoid may not surprise you, the reason why they're able to avoid them might. But first, let's talk about what makes couples more compatible than others.

Dr. Brooke Keels, Ph.D., LPC-MHSP, LPC-Supervisor, Chief Clinical Officer at Lighthouse Recovery, has this to say: "Couples are compatible when they share similar values, goals, and know the best way to communicate with each other." Notice she didn't say these couples are just alike.

More so, she explains that "it's about how well they handle differences, whether they can support each other through tough times, and how they connect emotionally." Dr. Keels adds, "when there’s respect, trust, and a good balance of give-and-take between them?" Dr. Keels believes this gives couples a better chance "to be in sync."

Scroll down to see the topics you'll rarely hear compatible couples arguing about!

RDNE Stock project

1. Long-term goals like marriage aren't often a cause for concern.

Have you ever dated someone that made you wonder what you saw in them once you pay attention to certain red flags? You may have found yourself arguing with them about everything from religion to reproductive health, leaving you feeling dizzy afterwards. But Dr. Keels says compatible couples are more likely to be aligned on "whether they want the same things out of life."

Her examples include:

  • Relocating for careers
  • Family planning
  • Finding somewhere to settle down in general (i.e. apartment, condo, different state, close to family, etc.,)

"This common ground lessens the chance of fighting over these big topics," Dr. Keels reiterates.

Vlada Karpovich

2. There's a lesser chance arguments about weekend activities occur.

We're no strangers to indecisive moments where we couldn't agree about what to do on the weekends with our partners, but Dr. Keels says compatible couples don't always run into this issue. "When you enjoy similar activities or have overlapping hobbies, you're more like to find ways to unwind together, rather than feeling disconnected or frustrated by each other's choices," she adds.

While it varies from couple to couple, you and your partner may enjoy the following:

  • Buying tickets to watch the latest college basketball or football game
  • Going to a 'Paint and Sip' class for fun
  • Having a mini outdoor picnic
  • Visiting a national park if it's on your couple's bucket list
  • Spending a day at a local arcade

The possibilities are endless, but all that matters is that "this mutual understanding makes spending time together feel natural and fun," according to Dr. Keels.

Mikhail Nilov

3. Communication styles aren't causing a daily disruption.

Some people have a more direct way of communicating while others may be passive or even passive-aggressive. Less arguments aren't happening because compatible couples communicate the same however. "When they both understand each other's communication style — whether it's direct or more subtle — it helps avoid misunderstandings and frustration."

Here's a couple of examples:

  • If you're having a bad day that has nothing to do with your partner, they don't take it personal when you prefer some alone time.
  • If your partner says something they perceived to be a joke, but you didn't, you're less likely to immediately accuse them of being insensitive. Instead, there's a higher chance of asking what they mean by something and expressing why you didn't like it instead of arguing.

Compatible couples "know how to express their feelings and needs in a way that the other person can easily understand" which makes "it easier to resolve issues calmly," according to Dr. Keels.

Alex Green

Are couples better (or more compatible) because they don't have a lot of arguments?

Well, no. That's actually a stretch because everyone has arguments. "Even compatible couples can argue about everyday things like chores or schedules. No matter how well they get along or how "in sync" they are, little annoyances can still pop up here and there, and cause some tension between them," Dr. Keels shares. "The difference," she points out, "is that they're usually better at handling these moments and keeping them from turning into bigger problems."

The other thing she's seen couples argue about is money. "It's such a common stress point because everyone has different habits and priorities when it comes to spending or saving," she says. But, guess what? "Compatible couples tend to approach the conversation with more understanding and a willingness to find a compromise," she continues.

If you feel like you and your partner aren't on the same page, it may not be time to break up just yet. We've learned that that it can take time to effectively communicate with a romantic partner or understand them. Compatibility is great, but it's not an indicator that a relationship will be smooth sailing!

Keira Burton

How can I have healthier disagreements with my partner?

Like we said, getting to a point where you and your partner aren't consistently hurting each other's feelings during disagreements takes time as well as skill. No one's born knowing all the answers so don't think your relationship is over because you're still figuring things out.

Dr. Keels says one way you and your partner can work on the kind of disagreements you're having is by "knowing how to communicate/compromise." Look, we heard your sigh and know it's probably the antithesis of how you feel. We struggled with compromising, but you don't get far in life thinking that everyone else has to bend to your will all the time.

"Even if they don’t see eye to eye all the time, healthy couples listen to each other's perspectives, and look for solutions that work for both of them. It’s not about 'winning' the argument and getting to say who's right, but finding common ground so they can move forward together," adds Dr. Keels.

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Also, "staying respectful event when things get heated or when you're upset" is a way to have a productive arguments, according to Dr. Keels. What happens is that "healthy couples avoid yelling or saying hurting things during disagreements," she says. This means no cursing or raising voices to the point your next door neighbors feel they have to call the police to do a wellness check on you.

"Instead, they just focus on the real problem and stay calm, which helps them work through the issue without hurting each other and the relationship," Dr. Keels says. And in the event you and your partner can't find common ground in a given moment? She highly suggests you "take breaks or pause when things get too heated."

Couples who do this "know when to step away and cool off before continuing the conversation," she adds. There are times where it's difficult to have a proper conversation when you're anxious or angry, so it's always better to revisit the topic.

Dr. Keels agrees and says, "This gives them a chance to cool down first so they can properly think things through, and think of a solution that works for both of them without saying anything they might regret."

Visit more of our relationships articles to find more advice about navigating friendships and love.

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