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Fretting over which hairstyles to choose from now that you know you're going to a holiday party? Please don't because we've got 9 ideas that are super easy to recreate at home. We know you want to look your best, but it's not worth stressing over. All you have to do is figure out if you're looking to wear a ponytail or a bob. Once you've figured that out, the styling part is super easy.
Keep scrolling for the easiest holiday hairstyles that'll make heads turn at any party you RSVP to
1. Top Knot Bun
Top knot buns look good on anyone regardless of age. We first admired them on ballerinas and later found out how easy they are to achieve. To create this sleek look, you'll need a hair wax stick, a boar bristle brush, elastic hair ties, and a holding spray to keep everything together!
2. A Cute Scarf Ponytail
After the top knot bun, this hairstyle is another easy one to pull off and doesn't really require a curling iron. All you need to do is gather your hair into a low ponytail before securing it with a hair tie. Once you've done that, wrap a festive red scarf around the hair tie for a look that shows you're ready for Christmas!
3. Layered Straight Hair
Depending on your preference, you may refer to this style as straightened hair or a silk press. All that matters is making sure you have the best blowout products and tools to help you achieve it! If you have naturally curly hair, we recommend using The Doux's Press Play Thermal Set. It includes:
- PRESS REWIND Curl Retention Shampoo
- FAST FORWARD Heat Prep Conditioner
- JUST GLAZE Silkening Fluid
- SILENT TREATMENT 30-day Humidity Shield
- O.P.P. Heat Protectant Spray
- DOUX DROPS Bonding Polish
- GANGSTER WRAP Foaming Wrap Lotion
You'll also want to use a blow dryer that has a concentrator nozzle along with a round brush to help smooth your hair. After that, all you'll have to do is flat iron your hair and that's it!
4. Barrel Curls
We love barrel curls because they can look however you want them. If you want to go for a bombshell look, we recommend pin curling your hair after using the curling attachments of the T3 Aire 360 Blowout System. You'll want to section your hair so you're able to wrap individual strands around the base of the curler, preferably at an angle to achieve a spiral style like the one above!
5. Half Side Hairstyle
We love an impressive half-side hairstyle that reminds us of Aunt Zelda fromThe Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. However, you won't have to curl your hair as much with this look. All you'll need to do is french braid both sides of your hair at night and simply unravel them once you're ready to make your party debut.
6. Wavy Bob
Bobs aren't going anywhere, not that we want them to! They're incredibly flattering and have the perfect amount of body that we fangirl over. This hairstyle is super easy because you only need to lightly curl the ends of your hair to achieve an effortless look. Honestly, you can use a curling or flat iron without a problem.
7. Coiffed Bob
Don't feel like putting in that much work to look dolled up? We hear you loud and clear so we're sharing another bob option. You won't have to watch your curling iron heat up because this is strictly a job for your flat iron.
Put it on a low setting (under 400 degrees) and lightly curl the ends of your hair under. If you want to create the perfect side bang, you can add one or two curlers to it so it's held in place until the perfect time.
8. Volumized Bob
Leon Bennett/Getty Images
Another bob? Yes, please! This hairstyle is for anyone who wants VOLUME without having to spend all morning curling their hair. All you need to do is invest in a good roller setthat'll form the perfect curls overnight; kudos if they're thermal! Just make sure to part your hair the way you want prior to and you'll be looking like a glamorous queen the next day or night.
9. Pixie Cut
Although they can be high maintenance because of the salon upkeep, pixie cuts are fairly easy to style. You can using foaming lotion to create finger waves or created a slicked look that turns head. If you want to add a few curls to your hair, you'll need a small flat iron that can gently grabs each strand.
Which of these holiday hairstyles will you be rocking to your upcoming Christmas party?!
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Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.
I’ve triedtons of different food trends in my day. From dumping chili oil on ice cream to concocting my very own Sleepy Girl Mocktail, nothing I’ve eaten measures up to the sheer weirdness we saw go viral on social media this year (major side eye to Dua Lipa’s pickle Diet Coke).
These are the top 5 most ridiculous TikTok-viral food trends of 2024 that left us questioning whether they really should’ve gone viral in the first place.
@claudiaeatsgood chamoy pickles are so good😋😩❤️ @Bussin Snacks #chamoypickle#chamoy#chamoypicklekit#bussinsnacks#takis#fruitrollup#mukbang#asmr#asmrmukbang#chamoypicklemukbang#juicy#pickle#mexicancandy♬ original sound - Claudia💕
1. Chamoy Pickles
People couldn't quit it with the chamoy pickles (AKA chickles) this year. I never would've guessed that chamoy, a condiment made from dried fruits, chilies, sugar, and lime juice, would be slathered atop the sourest pickles money can buy.
But the food trend didn't stop at just chamoy – many snackers stuffed their pickles with everything from the likes of Hot Cheetos, Takis, and Fruit Roll-Ups. What?!
This insanely sour, tangy treat kickstarted what the internet's coined as the 'Red 40 Diet', which certainly cannot be medically advised.
If you care for your GI tract, this food trend is 100% worth skipping and leaving behind in 2024.
@dualipaofficial What do we call her?
♬ original sound - Dua Lipa
2. Pickle + Jalapeño-Infused Diet Coke
Diet Coke, pickle juice, and jalapeño juice = all the ingredients needed to concoct Dua Lipa's controversial 2024 drink. She loves it, but I on the other hand, do not.
Now, don't get me wrong: I love a good unexpected flavor combo, but gulping down a simultaneous dose of both pickle juice and jalapeño juice was not tasty to me whatsoever.
This trend even sparked a slew of Sonic diners to start ordering their soft drinks with pickles – but as divisive as this trend can be ("Don’t knock it till you try it," TikToker Mississippi Memaw told Food and Wine), it's just flat out weird.
@logagm New cucumber recipe 🚨
♬ original sound - Logan
3. Cucumber Salad
If you bought a mandolin slicer recently, you might as well admit you're a victim of the TikTok-viral cucumber salad trend that made its rounds this year.
"Sometimes you need to eat an entire cucumber," TikTok user @logagmsounds off in the intro of every single one of his cucumber salad videos. And thus, the food trend was born.
It felt like I couldn't go a day on TikTok without seeing at least 5 recipes for a damn cucumber salad. When it comes down to it, I can appreciate the novelty (and taste) of this trend, but not the oversaturation. I'm gonna eat an entire cucumber one day, and get so tired of it the next. New innovations in 2025, please!
@kylekruegerr Would you try these?😂 #foodreview#seagrapes#food#review#tastetest#weirdfood♬ original sound - Kyle Krueger
4. Sea Grapes
It was like people wanted to eat the weirdest, grossest things in 2024. I can't blame 'em, especially if it's for clicks and views. But this food trend in particular literally made me want to gag – and I was only watching people eat through a screen (any fellow ASMR fans out there?).
They don't look like they're supposed to be crunchy, but they are. Sea grapes grow from aquatic plants and are filled with essentially what is a "salty liquid." They burst in the mouth when you eat them (one TikToker called them 'edible Orbeez'). Yuck.
@julieta.asmr I figured it out!! Blooper at the end 🥴 #asmr#asmrcommunity#asmrtiktoks#asmrvideo#asmrsounds#asmreating#asmrfood#asmrfyp#asmrmukbang#mukbang#asmreatingsounds♬ original sound - Julieta ASMR 🍒
5. Exploding Candies
The final (and especially weird) food trend I propose we leave behind in 2024 is these dang exploding jelly candies. They also made their rounds on ASMR TikTok, and I truly cannot stand to watch a single video featuring them.
First off, they look so annoying to consume. The fruit-shaped jellies are contained in a thin layer of plastic that's meant to burst open when you sink your teeth into it, prompting you to slurp out the sweetness inside. But what irks me the most is the fact that many people trying them can't even break the seal.
I'd rather watch someone make a simple PB&J than go to town on these microplastic-infused candies.
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From Kamala Harris-inspired bobs to silky Lindsay Lohan-esque tresses, the season of the silk press (or straighter hairstyles) is officially here! It's been fun watching watching TikTok videos of women going to the salon to get their hair straightened, but it made me ask myself if people truly know how to maintain this style at home. It's one thing to watch a licensed hairstylist work their magic, but the upkeep may not be as straightforward for some people!
Luckily, celebrity hairstylists, Takisha Sturdivant-Drew and Natalie Lamorena, are here to answer all my burning questions. Sturdivant-Drew has over 20 years of experience working in the film and commercial industry, styling clients such as Kerry Washington, Lucy Liu, and Ashley Graham. She also worked on TV series like Suits and the Oscar-nominated film Ray. Lamorena owns Polished Pub Hair & Nail Bar— not to mention she invented the viral "Headicure" service for clients who love the idea of getting a manicure while receiving the best blowout of their lives. And with all that experience, the two of them have plenty to say about silk presses.
TL;DR
- You should rely on professionals for the majority of your silk presses, but you can maintain them at home with "the right tools and products."
- Different hair types require different temperatures and products — be sure to research and check with your hair dresser to make sure your treating your hair the right way.
- Don't get a silk press if you've recently straightened your hair.
- Heat protectant is key for any silk press or hair straightening.
- Naturally curly or textured hair should limit silk presses to once or twice a month; other hair types should keep it to no more than once a week.
- Be sure to wrap your hair correctly and use a bonnet to maintain your style.
How do you know when to straighten your hair at home or go to the salon?
Desperate times call for desperate measures when you're due for a hair appointment and can't book one. I'm sure all of us have turned into an armchair hairstylist by giving ourselves a trim, quick haircut, or dye job. You've probably even watched a few tutorials about how to give yourself a homemade silk press or blowout. I know I've recently purchased a few things to help me maintain my hair at home, but should we be straightening our hair at home?
Lamorena says, "While it’s possible to straighten hair at home, I’d recommend going to a professional for the best results. Stylists know how to work with different hair types, adjust heat settings accordingly, and use high-quality products that protect your hair." If we decide to forego a stylist's expertise, she says we can "accidentally cause damage with uneven heat or over-processing."
Sturdivant-Drew agrees that it's best to see a stylist "for the first few silk presses," but it's not impossible to safely straighten your own hair. "If you have the right tools and products, along with research, you can achieve this hairstyle at home," she says.
How should different hair types approach a silk press?
Just like everyone doesn't have the same skin complexion or undertones, hair types can differ too. This means someone with a fine hair isn't always going to have the same routine as someone with thicker strands — which is why all silk presses aren't the same. "There's definitely no one-size-fits-all approach. The technique used depends on the client’s hair type and texture," Lamorena confirms. This isn't to scare you, however!
Sturdivant-Drew says, "The process of getting a silk press is pretty standard — prepping the hair with shampoo, conditioner, and heat protectant, followed by straightening with a blow dryer and flat iron, and finishing with a lightweight oil or serum."
She and Lamorena do agree that some hair textures require a little more than others though. Lamorena says you could only need "a simple blowout and flat iron" while someone may need "more intensive treatments like keratin or a Brazilian blowout for longer-lasting results." If your hair is very curly or textured — and you're ultimately not seeing the results you want — she says chemically straightening your hair is another option. However, Sturdivant-Drew reminds me, "Stylists usually adjust heat settings based on their client's hair health and texture."
Either way, we always recommend you check with your stylist before making any permanent or lasting decisions!
What should you avoid doing before getting a silk press?
Getting a silk press doesn't always involve chemicals, but there are still things you need to avoid before your appointment. Unlike the steps you may follow at home, Lamorena wants you to "avoid loading your hair with a bunch of heavy products " because this can "make the straightening process less effective and lead to more heat being used" than you need. Also, she doesn't want you to wash your hair because "natural oils protect your hair from the heat."
It probably goes without saying, but you also shouldn't book a silk press appointment if you've already straightened your hair. "...that can make it harder for the stylist to work with and could increase the risk of damage," says Lamorena. Besides that, Sturdivant-Drew advises against "using color or relaxers should be avoided before getting a silk press" because "this could lead to a lot of breakage."
What increases a risk of heat damage with this style?
As gorgeous as silk presses are, it's possible to use "too much heat," according to Lamorena. She says, "People tend to crank up the heat on their flat irons and blow dryers, but that can seriously damage the hair cuticle, especially if your hair is fine or already fragile." Something I've learned over time is that a licensed and experienced hair stylist has better knowledge of what's really going on with our hair. They're able to have a clearer view of your scalp, roots, split ends, and more.
The other thing that contribute to damage is not protecting your hair. Lamorena implores that heat protectant products are "are crucial for minimizing damage." Even if you use the right products, you could be straightening your hair way too often. It's normal to want to have straighter hairstyles for a little while, but you should keep in mind that you don't want to overdo it.
"Not prepping or using a heat protectant on your hair will cause a lot of damage. Silk presses require a lot of heat, so it's best to use good heat protectant," adds Sturdivant-Drew. She personally prefers to use Smooth Moisture's Thermal Hair Strengthener because "their system is built for silk presses specifically." She loves that it truly upholds against heat and "adds a nice shine to the hair" once you apply it.
When would it be recommended that a client avoid getting a silk press?
Here comes the not so fun part. As much as you don't want to hear this, your hair may not be able to handle getting a silk press right now. "If your hair is already damaged, it's best to hold off on straightening. Hair that's brittle, dry, or over-processed can be further damaged by heat styling," says Lamorena. What you can do in the meantime is help strengthen your hair by giving yourself "deep conditioning treatments," according to Lamorena.
This is completely up to you and your stylish, but Lamorena suggests staying away from having your hair straightened "during really humid months...if you're prone to frizz" because "the style may not last as long."
Is there a limit to how often clients should receive a silk press?
I'm not an expert, but even I know too much of something can become a bad thing. In the case of using excess heat, I can imagine the implications of that over time. Lamorena says, "There's definitely a limit. You don't want to be straightening your hair too often," and shares her rule of thumb for textures:
- Naturally Curly or Textured Hair — Limit silk presses to once or twice a month to avoid weakening the hair or losing your curl pattern.
- Other Hair Types — Keep it to no more than once a week.
All hair types are capable of experiencing "long-term damage," but giving "your hair a break between sessions helps maintain its health," Lamorena says.
Sturdivant-Drew stresses, "Taking a break between silk presses is important in allowing your hair to recover and maintain the health of your hair. I recommend limiting your silk presses to every 6-8 weeks."
How can clients maintain this style at home during the fall?
Even though cooler temperatures means you won't have to fight against possible frizz, you still have to take care of your silk press. "Maintaining a straight style during the fall can be tricky with cooler weather, wind, and dryness in the air, but it’s doable," says Lamorena. She suggests that you use:
- Use a flat iron with adjustable heat settings to avoid unnecessary damage. Tools like the Dyson Corrale or GHD Platinum+ are solid options
- A wide-tooth comb is great for detangling without pulling or breaking the hair
"Keeping up with a regular routine and using the right tools and products can really help your style last, even through the challenges that fall weather brings," she says.
No matter what your hair type is, Sturdivant-Drew suggests "wrapping your hair correctly and using a bonnet" as they're "key to maintaining" a silk press. Similar to what Lamorena said earlier, Sturdivant-Drew believes "humidity is your worst enemy...so try to avoid humid environments as best as possible!"
Shop Other Expert Silk Press Recommendations
Amazon
Bumble and Bumble Invisible Oil Primer
"Always apply a heat protectant before using any hot tools. Some favorites include Oribe Royal Blowout and Bumble and Bumble Invisible Oil Primer," she says.
Amazon
Moroccanoil Treatment
"For taming frizz, try an anti-frizz serum like Moroccanoil Treatment," suggests Lamorena. or John Frieda Frizz Ease.
Amazon
John Frieda Frizz Ease
Another option you can use to beat the frizz is John Frieda's Frizz Ease. It's another one of Lamorena's recommendations that will "help seal in moisture and keep your style sleek even in windy fall weather."
Amazon
Kérastase Discipline Fluidissime
Lamorena says, "A good leave-in conditioner is key to keeping hair smooth and hydrated; Kérastase Discipline Fluidissime works wonders."
Amazon
Living Proof Perfect Hair Day
"To extend your style without washing, use dry shampoo. This is a great option to absorb oil without having to restyle with heat," she says.
Our Silk Press Recommendations
Amazon
Giovanni Frizz Be Gone Serum
This anti-frizz serum will not only keep humidity from messing up your silk press, but it'll help improve your hair's elasticity over time and will even add an extra boost of shine to it.
Amazon
Wavytalk Professional Hair Dryer with Diffuser
If you decide to straighten your hair at home, you need a good blow dryer that'll work with your texture. Wavytalk has an inexpensive option that comes with a comb attachment, diffuser, and nozzle to help you dry your hair no matter what style you're wearing. It also has the right amount of heat settings that'll lessen the chance you cause any damage.
Amazon
CHI 44 Iron Guard Heat Protectant
Not only do I personally love this heat protectant, so does our Affiliate Writer Meredith Holser! It's been our go-to product whenever we straighten our hair because it truly does a great job of protecting our hair from heat and has a slightly fragrant smell we can't get enough of. In my experience, a little goes a long way so you'll get plenty of uses out of it.
Follow our Amazon storefront to see which hair products we'll always keep in our bathrooms.
Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.
First loves are TOUGH — especially when you start to see all the red flags you missed along the way once it's over. If you've been dissecting your own early love stories by reading Reddit threads or chatting with your girlfriends about their own relationship experiences, just know this: you're not alone! The entire Brit + Co staff even found ourselves discussing the first person we ever fell in love with...and the recounts did not disappoint. From realizing 19 seemed to be a common age for our all-time worst relationships to understanding how our first love was probably not as ideal as we originally thought, it made us wonder why we couldn't pinpoint red flags back then.
Licensed Psychotherapist Prerna Menon, founder of Boundless, LCSW-PLLC and Licensed marriage and family therapist Joseph Cavins, LMFT have a few thoughts that have helped us decode the precarious time in our lives.
Here's why some of us ignored how awful our first love might've been
1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.
I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.
"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.
As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."
Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.
2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.
While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."
Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.
Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."
3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.
Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?
Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.
You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says
4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.
*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."
Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.
4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.
Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.
Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.
I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."
5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.
Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."
At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.
What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?
First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."
I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.
"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.
Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.
Here are Menon's tips:
- Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
- Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.
I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?
I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.
"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."
Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."
He wants you to consider these things:
- Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
- Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
- Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.
Menon's final piece of advice is similar in that she encourages you to be "self-critical, self-aware, and self-nourishing." She doesn't want you to be afraid to be "clear and transparent about your expectations for the relationship" either. Though we weren't a fan of the outcomes of our first real romantic relationships, they've made us wiser. So, shout out to our first loves for being the worst because they've become our best learning lessons.
That's not all! We have even more helpful articles about relationships & family if you're looking for everything from celebrity couples to navigating hard conversations during the holidays.
Nina Dobrev Just Shut Down Years Of 'Vampire Diaries' Drama Rumors (And The Internet's Going Crazy)
Dec 09, 2024
No matter how many times I rewatch The Vampire Diaries, there's nothing like seeing a cast reunion — and the weekend of December 6, we finally got to see our three favorite Mystic Falls gals together again! Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King were just some of The Vampire Diaries cast members who reunited for Epic Con to chat all things Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline...but things took a turn in the middle of the interview when one of the backdrops almost fell on Nina!
Keep reading to see what happened during The Vampire Diaries cast reunion with Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King.
As someone who's done plenty of interviews myself, I know how fast a situation can spiral — and this interview accident is crazy. While talking on stage about the show, one of the backdrops begins to lean forward, and right before it falls on top of Nina, Candice and Kat quickly move to push it in the opposite direction.
"I don't want to see any 'Bonnie saves the day' memes," Kat jokes, referencing the fandom's love for Bonnie consistently helping the group throughout the show's eight-season run. "I don't want to see it, I don't want to hear it!" You can also see a relieved Nina hug Candice before revealing she thought it was a spider!
In addition to this "Bonnie saves the day" moment (sorry, Kat, I couldn't help it!), the internet went crazy when Nina posted a video of her, Candice, and Kat recreating a photo they took during season 1 — especially after rumors have circulated for years that Kat Graham was mistreated on The Vampire Diaries set.
While these rumors have never been outright confirmed, fans have paid very special attention to what Kat has said...especially when she confirmedshe was the lowest-paid cast member and cried over her natural hair after revealing she wasn't really allowed to have an afro while filming.
"Love you girls so much!!!!!! 🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️" Kat commented on Nina's post, while a fan added, "And now the rumors can definitely be ended 🫶🏼❤️." These women are so powerful and clearly love each other so much, and I will take any and every cast reunion we can get!
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When Brit + Co caught up with Ian Somerhalder, he also expressed how much he loved filming The Vampire Diaries. "Every single day it was a laugh," he says. "I mean we had to be serious, you're running from ghosts and vampires and stuff, and you know, someone makes a fart joke and a 130 people erupt in laughter, there's only so much you can run for your life."
And thank goodness, Ian confirms just how much fun the cast had! "We laughed, that's how we kept each other sane," he says. "I spent 8 years on the show and now it's [been] 15 years. It's my longest relationship."
"I cannot believe it's been 15 years," he continues. "And so everyone who's seen the show, watched the show, supported us — and me — in any way, shape, and form regarding the show, I thank you from the bottom of my heart."
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