13 Breakup Texts & Conversation Starters To Help You Navigate Messy Relationships
Through all of the happy moments and memories you make with a partner, it's easy to forget that relationships require work. Whether you've been dating for years, or you're just starting to date, problems will arise naturally, and it's important to know how to navigate them. Depending on the nature of your relationship, it can be a real challenge to find the right thing to say when messy situations come up. You might draft countless breakup texts, set aside time to practice what you'll say out loud, or even journal about your relationship problems. Though these things can help, you may still feel confounded on how to move forward, even after consulting friends, parents, and coworkers on the issue at hand. Maybe you still haven't nailed down the whole communication thing. Well, what if you consulted AI?
Yes, AI. We know it sounds silly, but the artificial intelligence tool has already proved it can do so much, like assisting in creative brainstorms, and fueling fun projects, like how to craft your dream living spaces. Beyond the creative side, we simply got curious about how AI's problem-solving capabilities could apply to day-to-day situations – hence the scripts below. What if you just don't know how to approach things? AI could offer some help.
Though these scripts can deliver a seemingly perfect response, it's important that you consider them as a small step you can then build upon when you're communicating in real life. Prioritize being genuine and honest throughout any conversation you may be having, and offer respect where it's due.
Ideally, the following situations – from breakups to confrontations – wouldn't have to happen exclusively over text. Consider the following scripts as drafts that you can edit yourself and tailor to your specific situation. Admittedly, a few of the generated responses made us LOL, but they also hold up to what we'd say in real life, if we had to initiate a serious convo or craft a zinger text.
Scenario: My new boyfriend is only texting me back once or twice a day. It's obvious he's not as committed to the relationship as I am. What can I say to him if I'm ready to break up?
AI Breakup Text Idea: "Hey, I've been feeling like our relationship isn't quite going as we both expected it to. I know I've been really committed to this relationship, and I'm sad to say that I don't feel like you're giving it the same level of commitment. I think it's best that we break up so that we can both focus on finding someone who is more dedicated to being in a relationship. I wish you all the best."
This script does a great job at establishing and communicating personal expectations and standards for a relationship. If you're putting in your all while your partner isn't meeting you halfway, why put energy into the situation? We also like that this response is clear and kind, leaving things on amicable terms.
Scenario: I'm starting to realize that a long-distance relationship isn't for me. I'm not happy, and I feel like my partner is drifting away. What should I say?
AI Breakup Text Suggestion: "Hey, I think it's time for us to face the facts: our long-distance relationship isn't working. I'm not happy and I can tell you're drifting away. I wish you all the best, and I hope you find someone who can make you happy. Take care."
Though concise and to the point, using this script alone may feel insufficient. Of course, the way you approach a long-distance breakup may depend on how long you and your partner have been together, and you should adjust the conversation accordingly, offering more context.
It's great that this generated response acknowledges the problem at heart: that the relationship isn't working. Why isn't it working? What could make it work better? These are definitely important points to consider.
Scenario: My partner lied about their political views and I found out when I looked through their family's Facebook pages. Give me a script for what I should say to them.
AI Text Suggestion: "I noticed on your family's Facebook pages that you have different political views than what you told me. I want to understand why you felt the need to hide this information from me. Is there something that's preventing you from being open about your political views with me?"
It's always a good idea to open up a dialogue and communicate through any problems you may face in your relationships. We like that this generated script leaves things open with a question. Asking your partner questions can give you insight into their true feelings and overall perspective, and also let them know that you're interested and invested in the issue.
Scenario: My new partner and I had a miscommunication the other night, and I had no clue how to address it. Write me a script on how to talk to my partner about a miscommunication.
AI Text Suggestion: "Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something that happened the other night. It seems like there was a miscommunication between us, and I wanted to talk it through. Can we take a few minutes to talk about it now? I want to make sure that I understand what happened and that we can work through it together. Would you be open to talking it through?"
It's entirely normal to feel intimidated with confronting a new partner. When you have time to discuss, make sure that you both have each other's full attention and respect so you can really understand each other's perspectives. This script is great because the response highlights you wanting to truly understand what went down. Having a full understanding of the incident, in addition to your partner's thought processes, will provide so much clarity. Approach this situation with humility and understanding, and you're golden.
Scenario: I went through my partner's phone and caught them texting another girl when we were together. Give me a script of what to say to them to break up.
AI Breakup Text Prompt: "I'm sorry, but I can't be with someone who isn't honest and trustworthy. I noticed you were texting another girl when we were together, and that's not okay with me. I think it's best for us to go our separate ways and I wish you all the best."
Establishing personal boundaries is super important, especially if you have to break upfor unfavorable reasons. We know how intensely this situation can hurt, and it's totally okay to be emotional. If possible, maintain a calm approach to the conversation you have with the cheating partner, and insist that behavior is something you will not tolerate.
Scenario: I assumed the person I'm dating was dating me exclusively, but they've been seeing other people on the side. Give me a script for what I should say to them.
AI Breakup Text Prompt: "I'm really disappointed to hear that you've been seeing other people while we've been dating. I thought we were exclusive, and it's hurtful to find out that you weren't taking our relationship as seriously as I was. I think it would be best if we stopped seeing each other."
We like that this prompt expresses disappointment towards the other partner's behavior, because it could potentially help them realize their behavior was wrong – but, this situation is also a little bit tricky, because you had to make an assumption about the nature of your new relationship. To avoid confusion and miscommunication altogether, you could also try out the following script:
Scenario: I'm ready to take my relationship to the next level. How can I ask my partner about dating exclusively?
AI Text Prompt: "I've really enjoyed getting to know you and I'm feeling a very strong connection between us. I'm wondering if you'd be up for taking things to the next level and making our relationship exclusive. What do you think?"
Clarity is so important, especially when navigating a new relationship, so asking up front so there's no confusion is the best way to go.
Scenario: I asked my partner about finally making things official, and they said no. Write me a script on how to address this.
AI Conversation Starter: "I understand that you said no when I asked about making things official. I'm disappointed, but I respect your decision and will respect your boundaries. I'm still interested in what we have and I want to continue building our relationship. Can we talk about what this means for us, and how we can make it work? I want to be honest with you - I care about you and I'd like to take this relationship to the next level. I'm open to hearing your thoughts and feelings. Let's talk about it."
If you asked about making things official and got rejected, it's okay to be upset. You likely really enjoy being around this person, and it hurts when they don't feel the same. Even through the emotional turmoil, you should still respect the other's boundaries, which is why this script works well. Where this response could possibly fall short is its insistent nature. If you have to ask multiple times about taking things to the next level and the answer is still no, it may be time to accept the future.
Scenario: I met someone really great online, and they planned a date for us, but they ghosted me. What should I say to them?
AI Text Prompt: "Hey there, It's been a while since we planned our date, and I haven't heard from you. I'm feeling a bit confused and disappointed. I was really looking forward to getting to know you. Is everything okay? I understand that things come up, but I would appreciate it if you could communicate with me instead of just disappearing like that. I hope to hear from you soon."
We like that this response expresses the feelings you may feel when you get ghosted. It's not a fun time, and can leave you feeling really discarded. This script offers the chance for the other person to respond to your question, which can be a good starting point for a true and honest talk. Remember that they're a person too – they might be feeling nervous or scared to commit, even if it is just one date!
Scenario: I notice the person I'm dating gets angry a lot, which is something I don't like in a partner. Give me a script on what to say to break up with them.
AI Text Prompt: "Hi, I've been giving this a lot of thought lately and I think it's time that we take a step back and end our relationship. I appreciate the time we have spent together, but I have noticed that you have been getting angry a lot, and this is something I don't feel comfortable with in a partner. I hope you understand my decision and I wish you the best. Take care."
Though you don't always need to explain yourself, providing a reason for why you may not be ready to commit fully to the relationship may help the other person realize their own qualities and faults. Of course, you're human too, so take this time to reflect on yourself and how you approach relationships.
Scenario: My ex is hung up on me, says they can't move on, and keeps texting me. What should I say back?
AI Prompt: "I understand that it is hard for you to move on, but I think it's important that we both take the time needed to heal. I think it's best if we don't keep in contact for a while, so we can both focus on ourselves. I hope you can find peace."
We like this generated response because it proposes that you and your ex need some true time away from each other. You broke up for a reason! If they can't move on and are finding their way to you through text or social media, it may be time to hit that block button. This response still maintains kindness which is helpful in mature problem solving. Then again, this person crossed your personal boundaries, so you don't always owe them your nicest self.
Scenario: My best friend has been cheating on her partner behind their back. I am the only one who knows. Write me a script on what to say to her to address this.
AI Text Prompt: "Hey [best friend], I hope you're doing well. I wanted to talk to you about something that's been on my mind.
I know you're in a relationship, and I'm sure you're committed to making it work. But I need to tell you something that I think you deserve to know. I'm worried that you're cheating on your partner behind their back. I don't want to accuse you of anything, but I think it's important that you know what I've seen and heard. I don't want to be a part of anything that could hurt your relationship, and I want to make sure that you're being honest with both yourself and your partner.
I care about you and I want to be there for you. Please let me know if you need to talk about anything."
We like that this generated script has zero accusations up front, but still opens up the conversation about your bestie's behaviors. You only want the best for your friend, so expressing worry from a respectful distance is a good starting point. Of course, situations will vary, so it's important to retain honesty the whole time. This prompt also avoids you inserting yourself in a relationship that's not yours. Whether your friend addresses the problem with her partner is unfortunately up to her only.
Scenaro: It's time to break up with a friend who isn't matching my efforts in the relationship.
AI Breakup Text Prompt: “Hey, I hope you're doing okay. I don't really know how to say this, but I think it's time for us to go our separate ways. I still care about you a lot and I'm going to miss all the fun times we've had together, but I think it's time for us to move on. I wish you all the best in your future endeavors. Take care.”
This generated response is pretty vague, so we really don't recommend hitting send on this one. Think through what might be drawing you and your friend away from your friendship, then directly address those reasons in your conversation. If you've been close friends for a while, leaving the friendship without explanation can leave your friend feeling lost and confused, leading to more problems.
All outputs were generated by the OpenAI API Playground.
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