How to Fix a Broken Nail in No Time

Summer is typically when we show off our prettiest pedicures and most vibrant manicures. But taking care of our fingertips is a year-round necessity in order to ensure they stay strong and healthy. After all, no matter your preferred length, no one likes breaking a nail. It’s incredibly painful and forces all of us wishing to grow ours longer back to square one.

While breaks are a year-round concern, trying to prevent them becomes much more challenging in the fall and winter. According to celebrity manicurist Betina Goldstein, a drop in humidity (whether indoors or outside) can be one of the contributing factors that affects the strength of our tips as well as the moisture levels in our hands. “The cooler temperatures of the fall and winter seasons provide less moisture in the air,” the nail artist, who works with Julianne Moore, Issa Rae, and Zoë Kravitz, explains. “Dehydrated nails are dry and brittle and can break and split easier.” (Photo via puhhha/ Getty)

After reading that, you might think the answer is to head indoors as soon as the temperature starts to drop, however, the same way artificial heating and cooling can affect your skin, it can wreak havoc on your nails too thanks to even lower humidity levels. There’s no denying that the moisture in the air definitely has an important role in nail strength; however, Shari Lipner, assistant professor of dermatology at the Weill Cornell Medical College at Cornell University in New York, explains, “Some people suffer from brittle nail syndrome where they peel, break, and split easily, and these symptoms tend to flare in the cold winter months.”

Thankfully, there are a number of ways to avoid the situation, regardless of the forecast. We turned to a number of experts to score their best tricks to keep your tips protected, as well as to offer a few solutions to avoid infection and save whatever length you have left should you break a nail.

Maximize Your Moisture

When the humidity drops during the chillier months of the year, adding that missing moisture back into your hands is even more essential. To help dampen the air, try plugging in a humidifier. “Staying adequately hydrated by drinking plenty of water each day and keeping a natural cuticle oil and hand cream in your purse is a must,” Goldstein says. “Remember to moisturize after you wash your hands.” At the very least, she suggests using an oil-based moisturizer like Burt’s Bees Hand Salve ($8) that you can apply first thing in the morning and right before bed to keep hands soft and moist all day long. The experts also recommended exfoliating the area two to three times a week with a gentle scrub like Herbivore Botanicals’ Coco Rose Body Polish ($36) or even Dermalogica’s Daily Microfoliant ($15) before applying your go-to hand cream. This will help the moisture better penetrate through the layers for long-lasting hydration to help ward off brittle tips. (Photo via Valeriia Sviridova / EyeEm/ Getty)

Speaking of cuticle oil, it can be a total life saver when it comes to keeping the delicate area of skin surrounding the nail bed soft and supple. And, the smoother and more hydrated the skin, the less likely it is to snag, rip, or tear. “I’m a big believer that healthy nails start with healthy cuticles,” says celebrity manicurist Mazz Hanna. To see if this holds true, try slathering on her eponymous cuticle oil ($28) that’s formulated with hemp seed oil, an ingredient packed with fatty acids, vitamins, and antioxidants to keep claws healthy and strong, as well as lavender and geranium essential oils to prevent infections. Skyy Hadley, the owner of As “U” Wish Nail Spa in Hoboken, NJ, says applying a little bit of coconut oil can also do the trick.

Keeping your mitts moisturized also means staying away from things that can further dry out those areas, like your go-to lacquer remover. Goldstein opts for an oil-based formula like Karma Organics Soy Bean Oil and Lavender Nail Polish Remover ($12) in lieu of anything with acetone. “Acetone is extremely harsh and dries your nails and cuticles out very quickly,” she says. “Using a natural oil-based polish remover will keep [them] hydrated and healthy all year long.”

Stop Snags Before They Get Worse

As much as we love to rock our wardrobe of knits during this time of the year, they tend to get snagged on everything. And as a result, those tiny tears can quickly turn into a major rip or crack the longer you leave it there. To avoid this, keep a file, preferably a glass one over an abrasive emery board, handy to sand down any uneven edges. “I have one in my purse, car, desk, and pretty much anywhere that I spend a lot of time,” Hanna admits. You can also use a little sandpaper (in a fine grain) or a book of matches in a pinch. Just move the file from the edge towards the middle of the nail in one fluid motion to smooth over the roughness or snapped corner so you have a harder point of entry. (Photo via kokouu/ Getty)

To preventbreakage from happening in the first place, you can keep your tips at an active length — slightly longer than your fingertips with a more square shape. “If you are prone to splits and breakage, it is best to keep nails short and to cut [them] straight across,” says Lipner.

Keep Nails Polished (and Protected)

While we tend to manage our manicures for special occasions and during warmer months of the year, it doesn’t mean the nail art needs to stop once the temperature starts to drop. Keeping them painted can actually protect them from the elements (as long as you cap the free edge) since the polishes keep water (which can make them weaker) out. And even if the jewel tones synonymous with fall and winter are too bold for your aesthetic, a clear top coat can still insulate them. Just be sure to reapply every few days — it’ll maintain that shield as well as keep chips at bay. (Photo via puhhha/ Getty)

One item the experts advise against adding to your arsenal is a nail hardener. Sure, they’re ideal if your claws are already paper thin and need that extra layer of strength; however, contrary to conventional thought, it’s actually better to keep the plate relatively soft and flexible so it’s less likely to snap, snag, or break.

Similarly, some might think that gel polishes could be another line of defense, but, according to the pros, if it’s used too often, it isn’t. That’s because the removal process requires acetone, which dries nails out, as well as buffing, which can take off the top layer of keratin. This all leads to thin, fragile fingernails that are more likely to get damaged, so it’s advised that these harder lacquers be used in moderation.

Solving The Worst-Case Scenarios

As careful as we try to be, accidents can still happen. But whether you’ve scored a small crack toward the tip or something more serious, there are a few solutions that can help save whatever length you have left. For instance, a small crack or bend might just need a few coats of gel polish to serve as a cast while it grows out. “There are so many amazing options out there that will have your nail looking long and strong again in just a few minutes,” says Hanna, who suggests stopping in the salon for this type of treatment. “The thing that’s great about gel is that it’s less harsh than acrylic, and you can easily soak it off once the crack grows out.” Though you’ll want to follow up with a serious dose of cuticle oil to nourish the dry bits and keep it pliable afterward. (Photo via Jan Scherders/ Getty)

Another option is the classic tea bag and glue trick. “Cover the nail with a Silk Wrap [at the salon], or glue down a piece of tea bag, and wait for it to grow out,” says Goldstein. At home, cut a tea bag in a shape large enough to cover the tear or even the entire nail. Next, cover it with a coat of clear polish or Krazy Glue and apply the tea bag cutout over it while it’s still wet. This will reinforce and strengthen the nail but also disguise the split. Add a layer of clear polish to seal it in and let it dry before gently buffing the surface for a smooth finish so no one will be the wiser as the damage grows out.

If you’re dealing with a serious split, such as a crack or tear over your actual fingernail, it’s time to turn to first aid. Keep the area clean, dry, and covered with gauze as it grows out to prevent the injury from getting worse. “A bad break can cause moisture and bacteria to get under the nail bed, possibly causing a fungus or infection,” says Goldstein. If you feel any discomfort or spot any unusual discoloration, you should consult your doctor for the best next steps to avoid possible infection, Lipner adds.

The worst case scenario doesn’t involve your tips though. Accidents like slamming a finger or two in a door can end up mangling the nail matrix, the light crescent shape near our cuticles, which Lipner says can affect how nails grow going forward. “It may cause permanent damage, and then the nail may continue to grow with a permanent split,” she says. In that case, it’s best to head straight to the doctor to ensure your growth isn’t permanently stunted.

For more nail tips and tricks you need to know, follow us on Pinterest.

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Featured photo via puhhha/ Getty

Compared to the bright and warm colors you paint on your summer nails, winter nails can sometimes feel a little... uninspired. But this season, we're all about changing up our beauty routines to find something unique, unexpected, and festive. You don't have to be a professional manicurist to get beautiful tips at home, and these ideas for winter nails prove it.

Break out your top coat bottles, because once you see these moody blue hues, seasonal shimmers, and classic Christmas color nail art (not to mention some eye-catching yet easy designs to inspire you) you won't be able to get enough.

50 cute ideas for winter nails to last you until spring

Amazon

Glamnetic Press-On Nails

Party dresses aren't the only thing that'll be sparkling this winter. Add a quick shimmer to your nails with these cute press-ons!

Target

Sally Hansen Traveling Light

This unique purple pick only takes a few seconds to dry, which makes it a great option when you need a concise mani, but don't have a ton of time.

Dear Sundays

sundays L.05

The mix between purple and gray in this hue delivers an understated edge that's to die for.

Nails.INC Baker Street

We love that cobalt blue is *just* the right amount of bold and eye-catching.

Target

ella+mila Unwrap Me

Reds are definitely expected for any winter nails. This flirty shade glides on with absolute perfection!

Amazon

PrettyDiva Silver Chrome Nail Powder

Silver nails are sophisticated and festive, but aren't exclusive to the holiday season the way that a red and green combo are. Plus, dip powder is a simple and easy way to get a salon-quality manicure at home.

Amazon

OPI Nail Lacquer

Paint your nails this gorgeous dark blue shade that has sparkles in it!

Dear Sundays

sundays No.30

For anyone who likes color but doesn't want to overdo it, this muted sage green is a great pick. It's sophisticated, understated, and adds just the right amount of chill for colder days.

OPI It's A Boy! Nail Lacquer

Baby blue has been hot all year long. If you want in on the trend, try adding this pale color to your nails instead.

Orly

ORLY Crawford's Wine

Is there anything classier than red nails? They're a little bit vintage, a little bit sexy, and very eye-catching. Match them to a red lip for New Year's celebrationsfor the cutest match.

Amazon

Beetles Aquarius Polish Kit

From navy to icy blue, these gel polishes will let you have all the winter nails you could ever dream of. The best part is that with proper application, they can last up to three weeks!

Target

Essie Ballet Slippers

Ballet pink is a great neutral because it's elevated and professional, but it's more fun than beige. Pair this pink with ballerina nails, and feel totally girly!

Sally Hansen

Sally Hansen Insta-Dri Nail Polish

Even though deep green is in the holiday color palette, this peaceful shade can definitely last into the New Year. This polish is chip-resistant and healthy for your nails.

Amazon

essie A Stroke of Brilliance

For some added shimmer and glow, pop this bad boy on your nails – atop a darker color or by itself!

Amazon

OPI O Suzi Mio

We love how romantic and powerful this deep purple is. And if there's anything that should make you feel that way, it's your beauty routine.

Dashing Diva

Dashing Diva Hanukkah Magic

Dark blue and white are a color combo that you can never go wrong with for winter nails. You can wear these tips to your Hanukkah celebrations, but they will also look good any day of the week.

Olive & June

Olive & June Lilac Shimmer

Feminine and flirty, this salon-quality polish is a great way to add some pink Christmas glam to your winter nails if you're not feeling the blues, neons, or reds.

786 Cosmetics

786 Cosmetics Istanbul

This polish is inspired by the shades of the Turkish city it's named after. Not only is it deep and warm, but it also gives you full coverage with a single swipe.

Amazon

OPI Angels Flight to Starry Nights

This shade simultaneously reminds us of the sea, the sky, and all those icy Y2K beauty looks. It looks iconic in every season, so you can wear it all year long.

Pleasing

Pleasing Syrupberry

Add some sweetness to your holiday season with this fruity nail polish color. Pair it with other punchy colors or wear it on its own. Either way, you'll turn heads.

Amazon

OPI Linger Over Coffee

Chocolate brown might be a 2023 hair trend, but you can definitely add it into your manicure, too. The best part is that it'll match your coffee *and* your hot chocolate.

Modelones Going Nude

Wear the shade that matches your skin tone, or mix and match them all for a multi-toned nude look.

Amazon

OPI Como se Llama

This deep wine color will infuse some warmth into your day-to-day as you count down to the New Year.

essie Carols and Caviar

This winter nails color describes exactly what we want out of the season. It's the most luscious blue that you could ever coat your nails with.

Winter Nails Inspo

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Saving Face

Turn your mani into an art gallery with an abstract design that'll make you feel like Picasso. Stick to classic colors like brown and black, or go with seasonal shades.

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A Little Bit French

We'll never get enough of the French manicure. But instead of white tips, spice it up with different colors and overlapping stripes.

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A Jolly, Happy Soul

This frosty little friend is one of the cutest things we've ever seen on a thumb nail. Don't forget the carrot nose!

Image via Bellacures

Jolly Old Soul

Swap your regular mani for a cherry red nail polish that features a Santa hat. It's cute and classy all in one!

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Living On The Edge

Create a manicure that feels unexpected yet classic by adding dots around the edge of your nail in red, green, and gold. The empty space is totally eye-catching while the color trio is nostalgic.

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Pastels³

Pick three colors that go well together and layer them for multi-dimensional nails. You can change them up based on the season, or stick with different shades of your favorite color.

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I Like You A Latte

Use different shades of brown for a mani that'll get you in the mood for a mocha. The 70s inspired waves are just the foam on top.

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All-Out Color

Mix wintery details like gold glitter with neons and warm shades usually found in summer for a winter nails match made in heaven. Love!

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Stripes On Stripes

In lieu of an all-white mani, go for one that incorporates stripes or blank space that'll let other colors (or your natural nail) peek through.

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Groovy Baby

Pick shapes and shades that remind you of your favorite decade. Bonus points if it matches your outfit!

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Flurries

If you're dreaming of a white Christmas, bring some snowy magic to your mani with white polish and a toothpick.

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Star Light, Star Bright

Bring some nature to your look with a galaxy-inspired mani, a delicate snowflake, or try your hand at painting a tree. The world is your oyster!

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𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒 𝐁𝐘 𝐆 ☁️ on Instagram: "🐻🤎🦔🪵🪹🧉🍩🍪 @glossifyofficial oud, gold digger, ebony & glass yellow @lucypastorellitools_ prep @monicavinader rings. Use MVINSIDER20-0618 for 20% off #MVFall #MonicaVinader #mvinsiders"

Tortoise

A mix of brown, gold, and tan will never go out of style. We're obsessed with the glittery detail and the use of negative space!

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❤ Hang Nguyen ❤ on Instagram: "The time has come ✨ #HappyDecember #Christmas I’ll also be doing a “24 Day Painting Challenge”, counting down the days until Christmas. Here’s me painting a candle on the first day 🕯️. I’m learning to paint with gouache and wanted to get familiar with the medium quickly so thought this would be a fun challenge to celebrate the kick off until Christmas. Never down anything like this before so hope I can keep up. It’ll be posted on my YouTube so if you want to follow along and keep me accountable, link is in my bio 🙂✨"

I Can Still Make The Whole Place Shimmer

These glittery nails are perfect for both Christmas and New Year's, which means you don't have to redo your mani before December 31st.

Image via Bellacures

Holly Berries

These red berries are instantly recognizable and very festive. Pick any of your fingers to add these details to, or add a design to each nail.

Hi, Barbie!

Become winter Barbie when you adorn your nails in the cutest baby pink polishes out there. A lil' shimmer never hurt anyone, either.

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𝐍𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬 𝐛𝐲 𝐀𝐦𝐲 on Instagram: "𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐋 ✨🌙☁️⚡️ @the_gelbottle_inc Biab 019 Bling Prepped with @officialnavyprofessional ________________ #hampshirenails #petersfieldnails #naturalnails #biabnails #starnails #celestialnails #thegelbottle #nailitdaily #nailpro #nailsoftheday #nailsofinstagram"

Celestial Nails

Deep gold or chrome is the perfect polish to take a simple starry mani to the next level. The key to painting clean stars is using an ultra tiny nail brush.

Emerald City

Deeper greens were made for winter nails. We love this divided design that also makes a play on French tips.

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Tip Off

A little goes a long way with these chrome nails. They have the classy feeling of a French manicure with the glam look of silver polish.

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Jewels And Gems

Faux gems and nail glue come together to add a 3-dimensional element to any manicure. We're obsessed.

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Diiamond Beauty I Micaela Santos on Instagram: "💗Pop Art Nails💗 . . #nails #nailart #nailsinspiration #nail #nailstyle #naildesign #nailsonfleek #popart #popartnails #newnails #instanails #graubünden #schweiz #stgallen #liechtenstein"

Pop Art Nails

If you want another element to your pop art nails, add a shape to one of your fingers — we love the detail on this heart.

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Candy Cane Lane

We'll literally always say yes to some cherry red nails, especially when there are candy canes involved.

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Taste The Rainbow

Who said Skittles nails were reserved for summer? If you're in desperate need of more color this winter, this mani is the way to go.

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Feeling Romantic

These chocolate brown nails are already looking towards Valentine's Day. Keep the base of your accent nail simple or go crazy with an unexpected neon.

Holly Jolly

If you just can't resist the Christmas holiday, opt for winter nails like these that channel ornaments and decor.

Classically Embellished

These elevated and decorated winter nails are giving everything they need to give for a classy NYE party.

Tag us in pics of your winter nails on Instagram and subscribe to our newsletter for more inspo! And be sure to check out our podcast episode with Olive & June founder Sarah Gibson Tuttle for tips on DIY-ing your own manis and pedis.

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

This post has been updated with additional reporting by Meredith Holser.

I’ve triedtons of different food trends in my day. From dumping chili oil on ice cream to concocting my very own Sleepy Girl Mocktail, nothing I’ve eaten measures up to the sheer weirdness we saw go viral on social media this year (major side eye to Dua Lipa’s pickle Diet Coke).

These are the top 5 most ridiculous TikTok-viral food trends of 2024 that left us questioning whether they really should’ve gone viral in the first place.

@claudiaeatsgood chamoy pickles are so good😋😩❤️ @Bussin Snacks #chamoypickle#chamoy#chamoypicklekit#bussinsnacks#takis#fruitrollup#mukbang#asmr#asmrmukbang#chamoypicklemukbang#juicy#pickle#mexicancandy♬ original sound - Claudia💕

1. Chamoy Pickles

People couldn't quit it with the chamoy pickles (AKA chickles) this year. I never would've guessed that chamoy, a condiment made from dried fruits, chilies, sugar, and lime juice, would be slathered atop the sourest pickles money can buy.

But the food trend didn't stop at just chamoy – many snackers stuffed their pickles with everything from the likes of Hot Cheetos, Takis, and Fruit Roll-Ups. What?!

This insanely sour, tangy treat kickstarted what the internet's coined as the 'Red 40 Diet', which certainly cannot be medically advised.

If you care for your GI tract, this food trend is 100% worth skipping and leaving behind in 2024.

@dualipaofficial

What do we call her?

♬ original sound - Dua Lipa

2. Pickle + Jalapeño-Infused Diet Coke

Diet Coke, pickle juice, and jalapeño juice = all the ingredients needed to concoct Dua Lipa's controversial 2024 drink. She loves it, but I on the other hand, do not.

Now, don't get me wrong: I love a good unexpected flavor combo, but gulping down a simultaneous dose of both pickle juice and jalapeño juice was not tasty to me whatsoever.

This trend even sparked a slew of Sonic diners to start ordering their soft drinks with pickles – but as divisive as this trend can be ("Don’t knock it till you try it," TikToker Mississippi Memaw told Food and Wine), it's just flat out weird.

@logagm

New cucumber recipe 🚨

♬ original sound - Logan

3. Cucumber Salad

If you bought a mandolin slicer recently, you might as well admit you're a victim of the TikTok-viral cucumber salad trend that made its rounds this year.

"Sometimes you need to eat an entire cucumber," TikTok user @logagmsounds off in the intro of every single one of his cucumber salad videos. And thus, the food trend was born.

It felt like I couldn't go a day on TikTok without seeing at least 5 recipes for a damn cucumber salad. When it comes down to it, I can appreciate the novelty (and taste) of this trend, but not the oversaturation. I'm gonna eat an entire cucumber one day, and get so tired of it the next. New innovations in 2025, please!

@kylekruegerr Would you try these?😂 #foodreview#seagrapes#food#review#tastetest#weirdfood♬ original sound - Kyle Krueger

4. Sea Grapes

It was like people wanted to eat the weirdest, grossest things in 2024. I can't blame 'em, especially if it's for clicks and views. But this food trend in particular literally made me want to gag – and I was only watching people eat through a screen (any fellow ASMR fans out there?).

They don't look like they're supposed to be crunchy, but they are. Sea grapes grow from aquatic plants and are filled with essentially what is a "salty liquid." They burst in the mouth when you eat them (one TikToker called them 'edible Orbeez'). Yuck.

@julieta.asmr I figured it out!! Blooper at the end 🥴 #asmr#asmrcommunity#asmrtiktoks#asmrvideo#asmrsounds#asmreating#asmrfood#asmrfyp#asmrmukbang#mukbang#asmreatingsounds♬ original sound - Julieta ASMR 🍒

5. Exploding Candies

The final (and especially weird) food trend I propose we leave behind in 2024 is these dang exploding jelly candies. They also made their rounds on ASMR TikTok, and I truly cannot stand to watch a single video featuring them.

First off, they look so annoying to consume. The fruit-shaped jellies are contained in a thin layer of plastic that's meant to burst open when you sink your teeth into it, prompting you to slurp out the sweetness inside. But what irks me the most is the fact that many people trying them can't even break the seal.

I'd rather watch someone make a simple PB&J than go to town on these microplastic-infused candies.

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Whether you're picking from your headband collection or layering bold jewelry, never underestimate the power of accessories. Nail art is one of our favorite ways to accessorize. It's an easy (and fun!) way to add color to your look, and with a plethora of shades to match your mood, season, or holiday, there's plenty to pick from. We scoured the web for 21 of the best spring nail looks for some major mani inspo!


Color Camp Art Class At-Home Super Gel ($52+): This speckled milky white look is almost guaranteed to get your creative juices flowing.

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Take a walk on the rainbow side with this easy manicure — just pick your five favorite polishes and paint each finger a different color!

Chillhouse Groovy Baby Chill Tips ($16): Who says tie-dye is just for shirts? Add some retro vibes to your manicure with these non-toxic, reusable press-ons.

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Reply to @pamcostaceolin I hope this helps! DIY negative space mani 🥰💓#nails #nailart #diy #beautyhack #PlantersTrickShot #DontSweatIt

We love this nail polish hack that's easier than it looks.

Paintbox Like Lush + Like Flora Power Couple ($40): Color block your nails with this powerhouse duo inspired by 1970s Palm Springs.

essie You Know the Espadrille ($9): A sunny yellow is always a good way to brighten your day.

Color Camp "Frosting" At-Home Super Gel ($50+): We love this *sweet* pick. Cake anyone?

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Abstract swooshy french nails 💚✨ Shades in @opi Rated Pea-g and That’s Hularious. #nails #nailart #diy #whenwomenwin #virgofullmoon

If you love abstract art, these unique tips are just for you.

Olive and June Bold & Unshaken ($8): Add vivid character to any look with this electric purple.

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This manicure *screams* summer and we are so here for it.

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#nailsathome #nails #nailart #nailtutorial #naildesign#diynails #nailtech #foryoupage #foryou

Pick a variety of different colors or alternate between a couple for a look that's totally your own.

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We're obsessed with this sunny side up manicure.

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Simple and understated, we can't get enough of this pop of pink!

& Other Stories Quiet Peak Nail Polish ($7): If you're looking for a more neutral polish, this shade will elevate any spring look. It's great for weddings!

It was only a matter of time before the gingham trend made its way into our manicures and we're not upset about it.

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Minimal and totally unexpected, this nail look will be sure to turn heads.

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It's not spring without some daisies!

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If you can get your hands on nail stickers, go crazy!

JINSoon Absolute White ($18): A pure white manicure is good all year round.

Which nail look is your favorite? Tag us with your manicures @BritandCo and check out our Nail Art online class!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations. Lead photo courtesy of Lauren Ladnier. This post has been updated.

First loves are TOUGH — especially when you start to see all the red flags you missed along the way once it's over. If you've been dissecting your own early love stories by reading Reddit threads or chatting with your girlfriends about their own relationship experiences, just know this: you're not alone! The entire Brit + Co staff even found ourselves discussing the first person we ever fell in love with...and the recounts did not disappoint. From realizing 19 seemed to be a common age for our all-time worst relationships to understanding how our first love was probably not as ideal as we originally thought, it made us wonder why we couldn't pinpoint red flags back then.

Licensed Psychotherapist Prerna Menon, founder of Boundless, LCSW-PLLC and Licensed marriage and family therapist Joseph Cavins, LMFT have a few thoughts that have helped us decode the precarious time in our lives.

Here's why some of us ignored how awful our first love might've been

1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.

Savannah Dematteo

I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.

"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.

As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."

Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.

2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.

Keira Burton

While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."

Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.

Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."

3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.

Luis Zambrano

Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?

Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.

You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says

4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.

Adely

*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."

Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.

4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.

Pavel Danilyuk

Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.

Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.

I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."

5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.

Ketut Subiyanto

Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."

At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.

What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?

Andrea Piacquadio

First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."

I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.

"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.

Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.

Here are Menon's tips:

  • Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
  • Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.

Anastasia Nagibina

I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?

I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.

"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."

Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."

He wants you to consider these things:

  • Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
  • Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
  • Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.

Menon's final piece of advice is similar in that she encourages you to be "self-critical, self-aware, and self-nourishing." She doesn't want you to be afraid to be "clear and transparent about your expectations for the relationship" either. Though we weren't a fan of the outcomes of our first real romantic relationships, they've made us wiser. So, shout out to our first loves for being the worst because they've become our best learning lessons.

That's not all! We have even more helpful articles about relationships & family if you're looking for everything from celebrity couples to navigating hard conversations during the holidays.

No matter how many times I rewatch The Vampire Diaries, there's nothing like seeing a cast reunion — and the weekend of December 6, we finally got to see our three favorite Mystic Falls gals together again! Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King were just some of The Vampire Diaries cast members who reunited for Epic Con to chat all things Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline...but things took a turn in the middle of the interview when one of the backdrops almost fell on Nina!

Keep reading to see what happened during The Vampire Diaries cast reunion with Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King.

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Even after all these years, Bonnie and Caroline are still saving Elena #tvd #thevampirediaries #ninadobrev #candiceking #katgraham #elanagilbert #carolineforbes #bonniebennett #epiccons

As someone who's done plenty of interviews myself, I know how fast a situation can spiral — and this interview accident is crazy. While talking on stage about the show, one of the backdrops begins to lean forward, and right before it falls on top of Nina, Candice and Kat quickly move to push it in the opposite direction.

"I don't want to see any 'Bonnie saves the day' memes," Kat jokes, referencing the fandom's love for Bonnie consistently helping the group throughout the show's eight-season run. "I don't want to see it, I don't want to hear it!" You can also see a relieved Nina hug Candice before revealing she thought it was a spider!

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In addition to this "Bonnie saves the day" moment (sorry, Kat, I couldn't help it!), the internet went crazy when Nina posted a video of her, Candice, and Kat recreating a photo they took during season 1 — especially after rumors have circulated for years that Kat Graham was mistreated on The Vampire Diaries set.

While these rumors have never been outright confirmed, fans have paid very special attention to what Kat has said...especially when she confirmedshe was the lowest-paid cast member and cried over her natural hair after revealing she wasn't really allowed to have an afro while filming.

"Love you girls so much!!!!!! 🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️" Kat commented on Nina's post, while a fan added, "And now the rumors can definitely be ended 🫶🏼❤️." These women are so powerful and clearly love each other so much, and I will take any and every cast reunion we can get!

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When Brit + Co caught up with Ian Somerhalder, he also expressed how much he loved filming The Vampire Diaries. "Every single day it was a laugh," he says. "I mean we had to be serious, you're running from ghosts and vampires and stuff, and you know, someone makes a fart joke and a 130 people erupt in laughter, there's only so much you can run for your life."

And thank goodness, Ian confirms just how much fun the cast had! "We laughed, that's how we kept each other sane," he says. "I spent 8 years on the show and now it's [been] 15 years. It's my longest relationship."

"I cannot believe it's been 15 years," he continues. "And so everyone who's seen the show, watched the show, supported us — and me — in any way, shape, and form regarding the show, I thank you from the bottom of my heart."

What would your dream The Vampire Diaries reunion look like? Let us know on Facebook!