How A Daily Mindfulness Practice Can Help Your Biz Grow

Brit + Co
Sep 07, 2023
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In our series Selfmade U, we’ll tackle the most common questions and pain points that come up for business owners with tips and tricks from Selfmade, a virtual business coaching program, founded by Brit + Co founder Brit Morin and sponsored by Office Depot OfficeMax. We’ll hear from Selfmade members and business coaches on what it takes to run a successful business and make it as an entrepreneur.

Constant juggling of creative tasks, business decisions, and operational responsibilities can lead to stress, burnout, and a hit to your productivity. That’s why a daily mindfulness practice for entrepreneurs can not only be good for your well-being, it can also impact your business growth.

“To recharge and relax, I find solace in simple activities like walking to my office. I also have a weekly meditation session via Zoom with a friend who recently adopted a baby. It helps me find balance and unwind,” says Maria Londono, founder of Disrupt3rs, an app that helps creators learn the language of business in a fun and interactive way. “I also have a weekly ballroom salsa date with my husband, Francisco. These moments make a significant difference”


It’s hard to be fully present when managing and growing your business is always on your mind. But taking the time to clear your thoughts and rest your mind has its advantages to your business. You can train your mind to be more focused, resilient and better equipped to handle the challenges of a small business owner.

“Receiving the Office Depot OfficeMax scholarship to Selfmade has been a game changer for my business,” says Maria. “The most rewarding aspect of the program was feeling supported and connecting with like-minded women entrepreneurs. Having conversations with people who understand my struggles and joys as a builder makes a tremendous difference.”

Here are five ways a mindfulness practice can help you build connection, boost your creativity, and grow your business:

Reduce stress. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, have shown to reduce stress and increase the feeling of relaxation. “I always prioritize my meditation practice,” says Maria. “Finding a balance is an ongoing effort, and though it’s not perfect, it’s definitely worth it.”

Make better decisions. When founders are more mindful, they become more attuned to their thoughts and emotions, helping them recognize when they’re reacting impulsively. Feeling clear-headed, calm, and ready to face the day can help you consider multiple perspectives, take the time to evaluate risks, and make strategic decisions for the long term vs. knee-jerk reactions that can cloud your judgment and affect the long-term success of your business.

Nurture your creativity. Your best ideas come from giving yourself the space to explore new ideas without the pressure to go, go, go all the time. Tap into your creativity by taking a midday walk, doing yoga, or just closing your eyes. “I nurture my creativity by hanging out with my daughter. We read, dance, and play together,” says Maria. Tapping into your innate creativity can lead to innovative solutions, product improvements, and fresh approaches to how you run your business.

Increase focus and productivity. A daily mindfulness practice can train your mind to stay focused on the task at hand rather than getting distracted by everything on your to-do list. This healthy focus time can lead to better productivity too, allowing you to accomplish more in less time and make more efficient use of your resources.

Improve communication and relationships. Being a great communicator is key to running a successful business. You may have employees, partners, or clients you need to communicate with clearly and calmly on a daily basis. “I have a deep appreciation for my co-founder,” says Maria. “We keep each other balanced and don’t mind talking shop during our downtime.”

Maria was one of 10 Selfmade members to enter the Selfmade pitch competition in her cohort. “Pitching our business through Selfmade has taught us the importance of introducing our target client and bringing her to life,” says Maria. “This helps people connect with her pain points and understand the potential solutions we offer.”

As a result, Maria earned an Office Depot OfficeMax gift card to help support her business. “Office Depot has been instrumental in helping us grow our business. From laptops to Post-Its for ideation to printers, we rely on their products and services to meet our needs.”

To learn more about growing your business, sign up for the !

Illustrated by Daniela Jordan-Villaveces

Building a mindfulness practice that works for you can help you feel good and manage your business better. Let Office Depot OfficeMax help you organize & save time with a suite of business services & solutions, like print & copy services. Accomplish more with Office Depot so you can focus on life’s important moments, like seeing your big idea come to life.

What Is A Winter Arc? Everything You Need To Know About Setting These "Self-Improvement Goals" Before 2025

We're past the point where a mid-year reset has come and gone, but leave it to the internet to find another wellness trend to highlight. This time, a focus on zeroing in on your 'winter arc' has become an EOY focal point, ushering in more calls to essentially make the most of 2024. But, what does that mean and is it even worth stressing out about if trends feel triggering?

I asked psychologist Dr. Ilana Lane, Ph.D., founder of Wellness Lane Psychological Services, to help break down the meaning of the 'winter arc' trend. She said, "First, we as humans can often engage in a pattern of thinking called 'all-or-nothing thinking,' which can become even more prominent at this time of year due to all of the external messages about 'new year, new me,'" she says.

So, whether you're curious about what the winter arc challenge is, whether you should join it, or if there are other things you can focus on before 2025, here's everything you need to know about it.

Get clued in about what the winter arc challenge is — and what you can do if it's triggered your FOMO!

I keep hearing about the winter arc challenge, but what is it?

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According to TODAY, influencer Carly Bergesshared a viral video talking about the trend at the end of September. Her TikTok platform is all about taking steps to improve yourself, hence why she emphasized the winter arc's goal of inspiring people to not slack off their goals just because the year is ending. It's meant to cover the time between October 1 and January 1 — approximately 90 days, or the length of time it takes to form a habit.

Dr. Lane says the winter arc "encourages people to 'lock in' on self-improvement goals for the last few months of the year." That sounds like setting new years resolutions right? I thought so too, but she says this challenge or trend aims to help people "be their best selves." It feels more specific, which makes all the more it intriguing.

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"In terms of the winter arc, an example of this may be someone reflecting on their year thus far and thinking how they 'didn't accomplish anything' because they didn't lose the 20 pounds they had hoped to lose, and thus they may completely lose sight of the things that they DID accomplish over the year," she adds. The examples she gives are:

  • Successfully starting an exercise routine
  • Cooking more meals at home
  • Opting to order out less
  • Accomplishing things unrelated to goals

5 Ways You Can Embrace The Winter Arc In 2025!

1. Get An Adequate Amount Of Rest

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We've already dug into sleepmaxxing and it's benefits, so we think this is definitely one of the ways you can optimize your winter arc. Not only does it involve getting at least 7 hours of sleep each night, but there's an emphasis on making sure your bedtime routine and sleep environment are also promoting something positive. This means everything from limiting your screen time before bed to keeping your room cool at night.

Dr. Lane says, "Try to view rest as a choice that's aligned with your values rather than as a sign of laziness. Use this time of year as an opportunity to reconnect with whatever matters most to you, whether that's family, time for self-reflection, etc."

2. Eat A Balanced Breakfast

Nathan Cowley

If this sounds simple, it's because it is. How many times have you skipped breakfast this year only to find yourself with a raging migraine around lunch time? PIedmont Healthcaresuggests that foregoing meals can lead to "low blood sugar," causing us to eat more things that aren't healthy. Even if you're in a hurry, try to at least eat breakfast that includes fruit and fiber.

3. Practice Gratitude

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Gratitude journaling is one of the things we love talking about at Brit + Co. It's something we've been relying on when things get rough and it's a good thing because Dr. Lane suggests living in a state of gratitude. "Research shows that taking a few moments to reflect on specific things you are grateful for can have a profound impact on your overall mental health and well-being," she says.

When everyone's talking about everything they've achieved in 2024, she believes "it's easy to have FOMO and/or feel like we aren't doing 'enough,'" but "a daily gratitude practice can shift the focus to what IS going well in your life and help you to be more present with that." How does she suggest you practice gratitude?

  • "Write down 3 good things that happened at the end of the day everyday, as well as why those things happened (the WHY is important as it often allows you to give yourself credit for the meaningful/impactful things you've done). You can even extend this more broadly and reflect on good things that happened over the past year and why those things happened."

4. Find Something To Enjoy Everyday

Anna Tarazevich

It doesn't take much to find something to be upset about everyday. It actually feels like our brains look for it. But, Dr. Lane wants you to try to retrain your mind so you're not focusing on everything that went went wrong in any given day. "Be mindful of savoring enjoyable parts of your day-to-day-routine. This could include things like savoring a warm cup of tea, walking in nature, or journaling at the start or end of the day." Even if someone cut you off in traffic, your favorite Starbucks order will likely make you forget about the small infraction

5. Set Small, Meaningful Goals

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Even though you may be looking to have your shot at having a winter arc, you don't have to set huge goals just because someone else is. "Instead of aiming for big year-end milestones, focus on small, purposeful actions that are aligned with your values, like 'spend 10 minutes in silence' or 'call someone who brings me joy,'" Dr. Lane encourages. As far as we see it, achieving goals that matter to you means you've probably already been having a winter arc without naming it.

Tiffany Bui

The official winter arc challenge timeline is almost over, and I have FOMO!

Okay, take a deep breath. You're not behind because you've never heard of this trend and feel like you're missing out on something. "As a psychologist who specializes in burnout, I have often seen firsthand the negative impacts that our self-improvement culture can have on people's overall well-being," states Dr. Lane.

From her POV, ignoring the winter arc trend may be better for you because it's a way of "protecting your energy." The call to move away from hustle culture is real with Dr. Lane saying the winter arc "can pressure people into unnecessary busyness, draining energy that could be better spent resting or connecting with loved ones."

Andrea Piacquadio

Also, it's possible that you're not 100% on board with the winter arc trend. "What works for others may not align with your personal priorities or values — and that's okay," she adds. In this day and age, she feels "it can be empowering to decide what truly serves you versus going along with a popular trend."

If you don't feel energized right now, you don't have to pretend you're in the mood to improve yourself weeks before the new year arrives. According to Dr. Lane, "Winter is a natural time for reflection, restoration, and stillness." While you shouldn't be telling yourself that you'll rest when you're dead, she's adamant about you getting as much rest as you need."Rest isn't just an option — it's essential for overall well-being and entering the new year with clarity."

Pavel Danilyuk

Should you feel anxious about missing the majority of the winter arc's timeline, here's what Dr. Lane says you can do:

  • Try Breathwork: Simple techniques like 4-7-8 breathing (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8) can calm the nervous system in just a few minutes.
  • Engage the Senses: Use grounding exercises like the 5-4-3-2-1 method (naming five things you see, four you can touch, three you hear, two you smell, and one you taste). These can bring you back to the present moment.
  • Prioritize Restorative Routines: Focus on activities that recharge your system, like consistent sleep, gentle movement, time outdoors, or unplugging from screens in the evening.
  • Set Boundaries: There are so many demands and expectations on our time, attention, and energy this time of year - both from the outside world and from ourselves. I recommend being intentional around your boundaries for this time of year and even writing them down. This could include things like the amount of time you'll stay at certain social events, events/requests that you will plan to say "no" to, etc. Planning these things in advance can help you feel more empowered to stick to the plan if/when these things come up
  • Reflect Without Judgment: Instead of dwelling on what didn’t go as planned this year, acknowledge the lessons learned and focus on what you did achieve or overcome.
  • Celebrate Small Wins: Recognize the small joys or successes from the year—whether it’s navigating a tough season, prioritizing self-care, or simply making it through.

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10 Booze-Free Ways To Ring In The New Year

When it comes to New Year's Eve celebrations, the first thought that probably springs to mind is boozing it up with an NYE cocktail. And while there's nothing wrong with sipping some bubbly (if that's your inclination), those of us who prefer to keep thingsnon-alc may feel like there are no New Year's-appropriate activities for our preferences. We say that nothing could be further from the truth! Whether you're pregnant, abstaining, or just taking a break from the booze, here are 10 fun ideas for ringing in 2025, the sober way.

Attend A Silent Disco

A few years ago, just as the sober-curious movement was gaining steam, companies like Daybreaker brought 6 a.m. sober dance parties to the masses. In a similar vein are remote silent discos – events where you put your headphones on and dance it out to the music of world-class DJs right in the comfort of your own home (or in person, if you feel like venturing out).

A quick Google search will reveal that there are tons of options to shake it off on New Year's Eve, whether remotely or in-person in your city. Because silent discos have an alternative vibe, they're much more sober-friendly than traditional clubs and dance parties.

Make A Tea Bar

Photo by Jill Wellington / PEXELS

If you've ever been to a party where they had aProsecco bar or something similar, you know how fun themed bars can be. Why not make a NA equivalent with a tea bar? We're not just talking about hot water and tea bags... include exciting staples like bubble tea, kombucha, Southern-style sweet iced tea, and more!

Do A Goal-Setting Ritual

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Not in the mood to party this year? Celebrate the New Year with some introspection by doing a goal-setting ritual. You can design the ritual in whatever manner you like, but we recommend something along the lines of:

  • Light a candle and sit quietly for a few minutes.
  • Whip out your journal and take inventory of the last year: What were your best memories? What are you grateful for? Where do you think you could've improved?
  • In your journal (we have some killer prompts to start you off), mindfully list out your goals for 2025. They don't have to be New Year's resolutions, exactly, but include small steps you can take in the new year to help you achieve your goals!

Make A 2025 Scrapbook

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Before New Year's Eve, head to your local craft store and pick up some supplies for making an old-fashioned scrapbook. Print out some photos from your most treasured memories of the year (we like printing with Walgreens), and gather any magazines you purchased or journal entries you wrote.

You can also look up some news headlines that made an impact on you, and print out the article as well as photos of any notable celebs or politicians who made the news. On New Year's eve, put together a scrapbook of what made 2024, 2024.

Good, bad, or otherwise, the year was one to remember — so create a momento that will help you re-live the past year in the years to come.

Plan A Costume Party

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Believe it or not, masquerade balls, dressing up in costumes, and concealing one's identity have a long history in the historical celebrations of Christmastime. So we think a New Year's costume party is a fully appropriate idea for a sober New Year's Eve.

Who needs booze to have fun when you can dress up as whoever you want for a night of merriment and mystery?

Karaoke It Up

Photo by Mikhail Nilov / PEXELS

Another fun party pastime that's fun with or without booze? Singing! Grab some friends for a sober karaoke night either at your house or a private karaoke room. The singing's bound to be better than it would be if you were imbibing... who knows, maybe you'll steal the show with your rendition of "I'm Just Ken."

Cook A Fancy Meal

Whether you're spending the evening with your S/O or your BFF, cook a fancydinner for two. New Year's Eve is the perfect time to get fancy with food, so use this opportunity to ring in 2025 with only the finest cuisine. Don't forget to make a mocktail to go with!

Host A Game Night

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Bring all your besties over and host a board game night that's sure to be one for the books. Have everyone bring their favorite game – from Cards Against Humanity to Codenames – for a riotous evening that will remind you that you absolutely don't need booze to have a rowdy night of laughter!

Play 2024 Trivia

Photo by Askar Abayev / PEXELS

Before New Year's Eve, compile a long list of trivia questions about 2024. Alternatively, have a friend do it for you, or do a quick Google search... there are a lot of trivia quizzes out there. On the big night, gather your squad together to see how much you remember about 2024. The results may surprise you!

Host A Murder-Mystery Dinner

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Murder-mystery dinners are still one of the best ways to facilitate a heart-racing and mind-boggling party. Pick up one of the many murder mystery dinner kits out there and have your besties over for a night of thinking on your toes — to be fair, it's probably best to skip the booze for this idea anyway, for the sake of your mental acuity.

Are you planning a sober New Year's Eve party this year? Tweet us @BritandCo to share your plans, and don't forget to subscribe to our newsletter for more booze-free hacks and party ideas!

Brit + Co. may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations. This post has been updated.

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30 Bougie But Affordable Gifts To Spoil Everyone On Your List

Charles Chocolates
Chocolate Brand

December always has a way of sneaking up on us with a frenzy of cute holiday decorating, festive gatherings, and dreaming up the best gifts for our besties. If this month has you feeling more frazzled than festive, don’t worry—we’ve got you (and them) covered.

Charles Chocolates

Charles Chocolates Winter Fleur de Sel Collection

We partnered with Charles Chocolates, the award-winning artisanal chocolate brand, to create a gift guide filled with unique and just-a-little-bit bougie finds, because everyone deserves to treat themselves once in a while, holiday season or not! From a plushy robe and scented candles to a box of the most creative handmade chocolates, including a chocolate box you can actually eat, these picks are perfect for everyone on your list — and maybe even a little treat for yourself.

Score a FREE Charles Chocolates Bar when you spend $25 or more!

The Coffee Lover

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Charles Chocolates Winter Collection Edible Chocolate Box

These coffee-lover gifts, including a colorful French Press and adorbs mug, are sure to perk up your day — and theirs! Pair your morning cup with a delicious piece of handmade chocolate for the ultimate sensory experience. You can literally eat the box in this Winter Collection from Charles Chocolates filled with Fleur de Sel Caramels, Peanut Butterflies and Milk Chocolate Caramels. SO good!

Featured:

The Cozy Homebody

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Charles Chocolates Holiday Collection

For the pal who loves to stay in and get cozy, here’s a cute kettle for steeping her favorite tea, some cozy wears, and Charles Chocolates Holiday Collection with flavors like Pecan Fleur de Sel Caramel, Cinnamon Spice Truffle, Orange Zest Truffle, and Maple Truffle. Charles Chocolates are all natural so it’s real chocolate vs. a sugary (read: cheap) substitute. The flavors are so unique and fun to taste-test. It’s the perfect gift for when you’re feeling indoorsy!

Featured:

Your Holiday Crush

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Charles Chocolates Peppermint Bark

Sneak a fancy chocolate bar, like Charles Chocolates Peppermint Bark Bar, made with homemade peppermint candy, in your S.O.’s stocking, plus some essentials for the camper, music lover, and beanie wearer!

Featured:

The Sweet Tooth

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Charles Chocolates Bittersweet Chocolate Santa

Sweet tooth be gone with Charles Chocolates Bittersweet Chocolate Santa Clause. This thing is not small, weighing in at 3 lbs. of deliciously rich chocolate. Adults will actually enjoy this vintage-style Santa as much as kids! Pair with a bottle of wine dressed in an adorable bow, a cake stand candle (so cute!), darling dessert plates, and/or a baking lover’s cookbook! Toss some mint chocolate almonds in stockings too!

Featured:

Your Jewish Bestie

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Charles Chocolates Hanukkah Collection Edible Chocolate Box

There’s a lot of talk about Christmas this time of year, but not all of our friends celebrate. And this year, Hanukkah starts on Christmas day so we can celebrate together! Gift your bestie who celebrates the Festival of Lights with this Hanukkah Collection Edible Chocolate Box filled with flavors like Fleur de Sel Caramel, Passion Fruit Heart, Espresso Caramel, and Meyer Lemon Yankee. They might also enjoy a new cookbook celebrating their heritage, cozy slippers, jewelry, and an artful wine decanter for the holidays. Candle-lighting matches are a perfect stocking stuffer or White Elephant gift too!

Featured:

Score a FREE Charles Chocolates Bar when you spend $25 or more!

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This Unexpected Trader Joe’s Home Decor Find Is Sending Customers Into A Frenzy: “OMG Need.”

As fun as Trader Joe’s snacks and desserts are, there’s one aisle you definitely should not skip – and that’s their plant section. Trader Joe’s is constantly stocking up on blooms like orchids and monsteras, all of which are easy to take care of once they make it home from the store.

Any houseplant lover knows the easiest of all easy houseplants is the famed pothos. I can water mine (I have about 5 pothos plants) once every two weeks, and they will. not. die. Right now, Trader Joe’s is selling pothos for cheap – but not just any pothos. They currently come along with a stunning hanging pot that you’ll instantly want to put up in your home.

Scroll on to discover more about this unique Trader Joe’s plant find!

@traderjoesobsessed

That’s right – Trader Joe’s shelves now include disco ball hanging planters. I repeat: disco ball hanging planters! The sphere-shaped pot is covered in reflective disco tiles that’ll certainly make your living room feel like a dance club. The best part is that pothos plants naturally look amazing when they’re grown hanging, so you can watch this baby flourish all year long.

@traderjoesobsessed

TJ’s fan account @traderjoesobsessed recently spotted the disco ball hanging planters at their local Trader Joe’s and shared the new find with their Instagram followers. Tons of them chimed in about their excitement for the product in the comments!

“I need this now😍,” one person commented.

“The way I gasped when I saw this 😍🪩,” another said.

“I bought one today and totally love it👍,” someone else commented.

“I suddenly need to buy more plants,” one more person wrote.

Several shoppers in the comment section noted that they were able to track down the disco ball hanging planters pretty easily, while others reported that they haven’t seen them in their stores quite yet. This is your sign to keep an eye out on your next TJ’s trip!

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@traderjoesobsessed reports that the disco ball hanging planters go for $12.99 in stores. Their affordable price makes them such a great gift for yourself or a loved one, plus the sparkles on the disco ball are perfect for livening up your space for a New Year’s refresh.

Run to TJ’s soon – I know I will!

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3 Key Things Super Compatible Couples Never Argue About, According To Experts

By now, you may be able to recognize signs of gaslighting or other toxicbehaviors, but do you know how to take everything you've learned and become a super compatible couple? According to experts, there are a few key things super compatible couples rarely argue about — even with whatever faults each person brings to the relationship table. While the topics these couples avoid may not surprise you, the reason why they're able to avoid them might. But first, let's talk about what makes couples more compatible than others.

Dr. Brooke Keels, Ph.D., LPC-MHSP, LPC-Supervisor, Chief Clinical Officer at Lighthouse Recovery, has this to say: "Couples are compatible when they share similar values, goals, and know the best way to communicate with each other." Notice she didn't say these couples are just alike.

More so, she explains that "it's about how well they handle differences, whether they can support each other through tough times, and how they connect emotionally." Dr. Keels adds, "when there’s respect, trust, and a good balance of give-and-take between them?" Dr. Keels believes this gives couples a better chance "to be in sync."

Scroll down to see the topics you'll rarely hear compatible couples arguing about!

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1. Long-term goals like marriage aren't often a cause for concern.

Have you ever dated someone that made you wonder what you saw in them once you pay attention to certain red flags? You may have found yourself arguing with them about everything from religion to reproductive health, leaving you feeling dizzy afterwards. But Dr. Keels says compatible couples are more likely to be aligned on "whether they want the same things out of life."

Her examples include:

  • Relocating for careers
  • Family planning
  • Finding somewhere to settle down in general (i.e. apartment, condo, different state, close to family, etc.,)

"This common ground lessens the chance of fighting over these big topics," Dr. Keels reiterates.

Vlada Karpovich

2. There's a lesser chance arguments about weekend activities occur.

We're no strangers to indecisive moments where we couldn't agree about what to do on the weekends with our partners, but Dr. Keels says compatible couples don't always run into this issue. "When you enjoy similar activities or have overlapping hobbies, you're more like to find ways to unwind together, rather than feeling disconnected or frustrated by each other's choices," she adds.

While it varies from couple to couple, you and your partner may enjoy the following:

  • Buying tickets to watch the latest college basketball or football game
  • Going to a 'Paint and Sip' class for fun
  • Having a mini outdoor picnic
  • Visiting a national park if it's on your couple's bucket list
  • Spending a day at a local arcade

The possibilities are endless, but all that matters is that "this mutual understanding makes spending time together feel natural and fun," according to Dr. Keels.

Mikhail Nilov

3. Communication styles aren't causing a daily disruption.

Some people have a more direct way of communicating while others may be passive or even passive-aggressive. Less arguments aren't happening because compatible couples communicate the same however. "When they both understand each other's communication style — whether it's direct or more subtle — it helps avoid misunderstandings and frustration."

Here's a couple of examples:

  • If you're having a bad day that has nothing to do with your partner, they don't take it personal when you prefer some alone time.
  • If your partner says something they perceived to be a joke, but you didn't, you're less likely to immediately accuse them of being insensitive. Instead, there's a higher chance of asking what they mean by something and expressing why you didn't like it instead of arguing.

Compatible couples "know how to express their feelings and needs in a way that the other person can easily understand" which makes "it easier to resolve issues calmly," according to Dr. Keels.

Alex Green

Are couples better (or more compatible) because they don't have a lot of arguments?

Well, no. That's actually a stretch because everyone has arguments. "Even compatible couples can argue about everyday things like chores or schedules. No matter how well they get along or how "in sync" they are, little annoyances can still pop up here and there, and cause some tension between them," Dr. Keels shares. "The difference," she points out, "is that they're usually better at handling these moments and keeping them from turning into bigger problems."

The other thing she's seen couples argue about is money. "It's such a common stress point because everyone has different habits and priorities when it comes to spending or saving," she says. But, guess what? "Compatible couples tend to approach the conversation with more understanding and a willingness to find a compromise," she continues.

If you feel like you and your partner aren't on the same page, it may not be time to break up just yet. We've learned that that it can take time to effectively communicate with a romantic partner or understand them. Compatibility is great, but it's not an indicator that a relationship will be smooth sailing!

Keira Burton

How can I have healthier disagreements with my partner?

Like we said, getting to a point where you and your partner aren't consistently hurting each other's feelings during disagreements takes time as well as skill. No one's born knowing all the answers so don't think your relationship is over because you're still figuring things out.

Dr. Keels says one way you and your partner can work on the kind of disagreements you're having is by "knowing how to communicate/compromise." Look, we heard your sigh and know it's probably the antithesis of how you feel. We struggled with compromising, but you don't get far in life thinking that everyone else has to bend to your will all the time.

"Even if they don’t see eye to eye all the time, healthy couples listen to each other's perspectives, and look for solutions that work for both of them. It’s not about 'winning' the argument and getting to say who's right, but finding common ground so they can move forward together," adds Dr. Keels.

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Also, "staying respectful event when things get heated or when you're upset" is a way to have a productive arguments, according to Dr. Keels. What happens is that "healthy couples avoid yelling or saying hurting things during disagreements," she says. This means no cursing or raising voices to the point your next door neighbors feel they have to call the police to do a wellness check on you.

"Instead, they just focus on the real problem and stay calm, which helps them work through the issue without hurting each other and the relationship," Dr. Keels says. And in the event you and your partner can't find common ground in a given moment? She highly suggests you "take breaks or pause when things get too heated."

Couples who do this "know when to step away and cool off before continuing the conversation," she adds. There are times where it's difficult to have a proper conversation when you're anxious or angry, so it's always better to revisit the topic.

Dr. Keels agrees and says, "This gives them a chance to cool down first so they can properly think things through, and think of a solution that works for both of them without saying anything they might regret."

Visit more of our relationships articles to find more advice about navigating friendships and love.

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