Camila Cabello Opening Up About OCD Is a Big Deal — Here’s Why

An honest look at the ways women are taking care of their minds and bodies in 2018.

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Earlier this month, singer Camila Cabello opened up to the world about living with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). “If I get really stressed thinking about something, I’ll start to have the same thought over and over again, and no matter how many times I get to the resolution, I feel like something bad is about to happen if I don’t keep thinking about it,” the “Havana” singer told Cosmopolitan UK. A few days later, Stranger Things and Riverdale actress Shannon Purser went public with her own struggle with OCD and suicidal ideation.

While many people across North America still seem to have an idea or preconceived notion of what obsessive-compulsive disorder is, there still seem to be a lot of misconceptions about what the disorder actually entails. This is why is it so important when stars like Cabello and Purser open up to the media about living with the disorder.

Currently, it is estimated that about one to two percent of the population has OCD or will have it at some point in their lives. When hugely popular and public figures talk about their experience with a mental health disorder, we work towards breaking down the stigma and shame that surrounds such disorders. We also work toward advancing true and accurate representations of what conditions like OCD truly look like.

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anyone in the mood for some..... #sangriawine? @pharrell

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The invisible, cognitive aspects of OCD go far beyond what many have stereotyped as the “hand washing” mental illness. An obsessive-compulsive disorder is an anxiety disorder in which time people have recurring, unwanted thoughts, ideas or sensations (obsessions) that make them feel driven to do something repetitively (compulsions).

While it can present differently in each person, obsessive-compulsive disorder isn’t just about the compulsive behaviors that may first come to mind (like hand washing); life-consuming obsessive thoughts can be a debilitating experience for sufferers. According to the Canadian Psychological Association, over 90 percent of people with clinical OCD have both obsessions and compulsions, with 25 to 50 percent reporting multiple obsessions. In fact, OCD is one of the top 20 causes of illness-related disability, worldwide, for individuals between 15 and 44 years of age.

If we want to undo misunderstanding and continue to support people who have been diagnosed, we need to know the best way to support them. The first thing we can do is learn how to change our language surrounding the OCD.

First and foremost, we need to stop making quirky statements about how we feel “so OCD” whenever we’re doing things like being organized or clean. These types of statements make those who are living with the disorder feel like their experiences are not valid. You should stop using “OCD” as a catch-all term to describe “obsessive” behaviors. Also, if someone shares with you that they do have OCD, maybe, just maybe, don’t ask if they wash their hands a lot. It’s likely, not the time and not the best way to support your friend.

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Let’s hope that, with more and more celebrities stepping forward, we can help change the narrative and better help change experiences for those around the country — and the world — who are living and dealing with OCD.

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Olivia Munn bared it all in her latest SKIMS ad, proving you don't have to hide your scars. The actress posed in a campaign for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, supporting Susan G. Komen®and highlighting her own journey with the disease. She looked absolutely stunning in every photo, but the most gorgeous moment was the way Munn didn't shy away from showing her mastectomy scars. She spoke to TODAY about her experience during the shoot, and why she ultimately decided to ditch her insecurities. Here's what she had to say!

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Munn shared with TODAYthat she didn't initially plan to show her scars on the set. The campaign was focused on her recovery post-breast cancer diagnosis, but the makeup artist had a hard time covering up the scars throughout the shoot. She explained that she took a look in the mirror and thought, "I’m done being insecure about my scars." From there, she took the idea to show them off to the SKIMS team — and the rest is history.

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And while she was scared to be so vulnerable on camera, this was ultimately a really empowering move for Munn. She elaborated that there are "so many women that have these same scars" who feel just as insecure as she did about them — and she really hopes those women see this ad. "Skims is so iconic and associated with beauty and sex appeal, and cancer really doesn't have that same connotation," she said. "So I just really hope that other women who have gone through my same path feel a little better after seeing it."

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The star also took to Instagram to give a behind-the-scenes explanation of her experience. She reiterated that she was "done being insecure" about her scars. "Every mark life has left behind on my body is proof of how hard I fought," she wrote. "I hope other women who have been self-conscious about their scars see these photos and feel all the love I’m sending."

She also shared that SKIMS will donate 10% of their bra sales (except bralettes) to Susan G. Komen® — a charity dedicated to finding a cure for breast cancer — from October 23-31 in stores and online. "It’s really meaningful to be part of an initiative that supports research and helps countless individuals impacted by breast cancer," she said.

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All of this comes on the heels of Munn's announcement earlier this year that she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She revealed the diagnosis came after recently tested negatively for well-known breast cancer genes and had normal results from her annual mammogram — but her doctor to check her Breast Cancer Risk Assessment Score. The test showed Munn had a 37% risk of breast cancer, so she pushed for more answers that eventually lead to her diagnosis.

Since then, Munn shared with PEOPLE that she had 4 surgeries in 10 months and underwent medically-induced menopause — all the while juggling being a new mom with husband John Mulaney. She shared, "I'm lucky. We caught it with enough time that I had options. I want the same for any woman who might have to face this one day."

SKIMS

After that March announcement, it's clear Munn is dedicated to raising awareness for women's health — and particularly their options. While chatting about the SKIMS campaign, Munn told TODAY, "You've got to go your doctor and you inundate them with information and you don't stop until they give you the test you need."

If you want to test your own risk for breast cancer, the National Institute of Health has resources here.

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Zach Bryan and Brianna "Chickenfry" LaPaglia's explosive breakup is everywhere right now. From his seemingly one-sided social media posts to all the bombshell revelations she keeps dropping, it's clear this split is NOT amicable. Both parties are dropping tons of lore, info, and everything in between — including new music?! — right now, so it makes sense if you can't keep up. Luckily, I'm here to help break this breakup down for you! Here's everything you need to know about Zach Bryan and Brianna Chickenfry's relationship...or lack thereof.

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October 22, 2024 – Zach Bryan Announces His Breakup With Brianna Chickenfry

On October 22, 2024, after some recent speculation that Zach Bryan and Brianna Chickenfry split up, Zach took to his Instagram stories. The country star said, "Addressing something: Brianna and me have broken up with [each other] and I respect and love her with every ounce of my heart. She has loved me unconditionally for a very long time and for that I'll always thank her."

He continued, noting, "I have had an incredibly hard year personally and struggled through some pretty severe things. I thought it would be beneficial for both of us to go our different ways. I am not perfect and never will be. Please respect Brianna's privacy and space in this and if you have it in your heart, mine too."

To wrap it all up, he closed by apologizing to his fans. He said, "With everything I am and to anyone I let down, I am sorry. I try my best in everything. I failed people that love me and mostly myself."

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Brianna hopped on her own Instagram stories shortly there after. She posted, "Hey guys I'm feeling really blindsided right now. Gonna hop off social media for a while and attempt to heal privately, when I'm ready I'll be back and ready to talk. I love you guys so much thank you for all of your kind words. Remember you are so loved and everything's always gonna be okay 🫶"

The Brianna got on Youtube next, posting a raw, emotional video about the situation. Sitting on the floor of her bathroom, she opened up as much as she could in the moment about her breakup. She said, "I just woke up to Zach posting on his Instagram that we broke up and I had no idea that post was going up. He didn't text me, he didn't call me. I just woke up to a bunch of texts, like, 'Are you okay?'"

Brianna, with her teary eyes and red face, explained she's been crying for "five days straight." She said, "I'm at the point where it's like, how can you give someone everything and love them so unconditionally, like through stuff that you shouldn't because you just love them and you want them... like you see the good in them?"

The internet personality said that this is all "so embarrassing" and "really, really heartbreaking." She elaborated that the couple broke up on October 21, but wanted to process on her own and "didn't want it to be public."

Much like her Instagram story, she told her audience that she'll come back when she's ready.

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November 7, 2024 — Brianna Claims Zach's Emotionally Abusive, Wanted $12Mil NDA

Well, it appears this week, Brianna decided she's ready. On Barstool Sports' BFF's Pod November 7, 2024, Brianna gave an inside look at the breakup unlike any other. Not only did she claim Zach was abusive, but she also alleged that he offered her a $12 million NDA to "not talk about the relationship."

After saying it's been the hardest year of her life, she said. "I'm still scared right now because I'm scared of him. My brain's rewired and I'm scared to make him mad and last week, I didn't want to talk about it 'cause I was scared."

Brianna then described the alleged emotional abuse. She noted that everything was cyclical and that he would build her up only to break her back down again. "There was always another excuse as to why he was treating me so poorly and why I'm crying myself to sleep every night, why he's screaming at me," she said. "And then you wake up, it's the apology, it's the 'I'm going to be better like I need you in my life,' but if you've been through this — I don't expect people to understand emotional abuse if you haven't been through it. I hope you never have to go through it but if you've been there you know what I'm talking about."

Not only does Brianna allege she was offered an NDA, but she said that other women that came before her had to sign their own agreements. She declined the offer because she didn't want to "sign away [her] experiences and what [she] went through to protect someone that hurt [her]." She also wanted to share this experience for other women who've suffered something similar.

And when it comes to the logistics of losing out on the famous lifestyle and alleged $12 million? She said, "It was never about the money — I was with the dude because I loved the dude."

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November 8, 2024 — Zach Quit Touring Amid Abuse Allegations

On November 8, 2024, Zach posted on Instagram — where he clearly loves to share all his big news — that not only is his new single "High Road" out today, but that he's also ending his tour early. Read his full statement here:

After not being home for a year and a half I drove out to my mothers gravestone in the dead of night a few days back on familiar Oklahoma roads and I came to realize just like in the past, that she never would call me again

Told her I quit touring because I got accepted to get my masters in Paris next year, I told her I was back in Oklahoma, told her about all my best friends in New York and all the nights we howled with the moon, told her about the immeasurable laughter my band and me have shared these last five years, all the calluses on my finger tips, every tear shed, told her about making it on The Rolling Stone and most importantly told her about porch swinging with my beautiful sister.
I wrote the chorus for this song a month or two back and finished it when I realized I was blessed with all these things.

I figured it was about time I released it.

Thank you guys for listening to ‘This Worlds a Giant’ last night and thank you to all the people who love me; who have truly carried the weight with me.

Seems that all these Quiet Dreams have gotten much too heavy but I’m home now and I’ll hold you through the pain.

High Road is out today and I appreciate all of you"
@ihatebriannachickenfry

Sometimes all you need is a nyc sunrise and some good pals

♬ I Can Do It With a Broken Heart - Taylor Swift

November 15, 2024 — Brianna Alleges Zach Bryan Picked Out Engagement Ring For Her

It goes down in the DM, according to Brianna (& Yo Gotti). In a TikTok caption, Brianna explained that her "biggest celeb crush tried to slide [in her DMs] a few months back" but that she denied it given her relationship with Zach. Then, in the comments Brianna elaborated that she continues to learn more about Zach's alleged infidelities — and how deep they really go. She wrote, "Been finding out he was cheating the whole time lol. The week he showed me my engagement ring he was DMing girls hahahahha.” OOF, that's tough.

November 17, 2024 — Brianna Posts TikTok With A New Man... & Threatens To Post Alleged Abuse From Zach Bryan

After going through Taylor Swift's entire anthology (girl, we've BEEN there!), it's clear Brianna Chickenfry isn't about to let her breakup with Zach Bryan bring her down. The podcast host posted a TikTok on November 17, 2024 with the caption, “Sometimes all you need is a nyc sunrise and some good pals." And while that message is sweet, we noticed something else pretty sweet — the man she's seemingly cuddled up with throughout the 42 second clip!

Commenters were quick to notice, too — one person even writing, "That was fast." Brianna responded, “Well I was cheated on my whole relationship so yeah," clearly proving she doesn't care what anyone thinks right now. And good for her!

That same day, Brianna threatened to share videos of alleged abuse from her relationship after Zach kept posting pictures of her cats, according to Page Six. She said the videos depict “whipping s–t at my face," but her reps have yet to respond to Page Six for comment about this.

Definitely a whirlwind of a day in the life of Bri...

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The early 2000s were true teen drama royalty like we'll never see again, and One Tree Hill's Hilarie Burton (who played Peyton Sawyer for the first 6 seasons) loved shows likeGilmore Girls and The OC as much as you did. But as she remembers it, One Tree Hill didn't always feel as beloved as it is now.

"We were the nerds," she jokes. "Like, you would see every other chick get beauty campaigns and things, and we were just kind of the stepchild."

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Despite the fact One Tree Hill might not have been considered the golden child at the time, the series has garnered a cult following since its on-air days, drawing fans to Wilmington, North Carolina for its anniversary celebration, and nearly breaking the internet when news of a sequel series leaked online.

"It's very, very early development," Burton says. "And so what has been really cool for us? And when I say us, I mean the entire cast, like everybody and our old crew, they're all really proud of the work that we did back then too. And so to see the public support this little show we made 20 years later, that's so special and it's so rare. And I love that, even though that news was leaked, Netflix gets to see that public outpouring of support. That's cool. So, fingers crossed we'll make it to the next step."

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Burton was in her twenties for the majority of OTH, and while she (alongside other female cast members of the show) have since vocalized the mistreatment they experienced from showrunner Mark Schwahn, the challenges of her twenties don't overshadow the accomplishments.

"I was not afraid to say difficult things in my twenties," she says. "And what I can tell other people in their twenties is that the long game will pay off. If you say the difficult thing and you say the truth, and you don't mask and you don't make up an alternative narrative, people will eventually realize that you were right."

Although the people pleaser in all of us might not want to rock the boat, she praises young people who refuse to accept toxicity: "We definitely have a feistier generation coming up than what I grew up in."

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With her fiery attitude and sharp sense of humor, I have no problem believing Burton was one of the feistiest women of her generation, and she now finds herself advocating for a new phase in her own life: perimenopause. The actress is currently partnering with OLLY for their new Mellow Menopause supplements, bringing awareness to a conversation that should have been happening all along.

Burton never really had a menstrual cycle until she started birth control, which messed with her hormones and led to a Xanax prescription she never needed. And as she aged, she moved from having pain during her period to having it during ovulation. "I felt like there was something really wrong with me because no one had explained that could happen," she says. "So the more we can throw out what the symptoms are, I think the calmer people will be in their exploration of their own bodies."

Knowledge and education are power, and Burton firmly believes the more you understand your body, your hormones, and your emotions, the safer you'll feel. But that's only one silver lining she's found.

Hilarie Burton/Instagram

"I've talked about the feminine rage that I feel like I've earned," she says. "That Kesha song 'Joyride' came out this summer. She says, 'I've earned the right to be like this.' And I was like, 'Yeah, of course.' I think we spend our twenties experimenting. We spend our thirties kind of, like, establishing our careers and what our goals are. And then our forties are about knowing who we are and owning it. And if biology wants to come out swinging, I think we're in a place where we can control that and we can handle it."

That isn't to say perimenopause hasn't come without its unexpected moments, like having to convince others she really was experiencing perimenopause, despite being "too young." "The more research I did, and then in talking to my doctor, my instinct was right," she reveals. "I was beginning the [menopause] journey, and rather than try to hide it or treat it like a deficit, I get to own it. Now I get to treat it and I get to help other women navigate it. And that feels so much better when you're going through a bad thing, but you know that you're helping someone else through it. It doesn't feel as scary."

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But while it's important to be vocal about our experiences, I also can't help but point out how it feels like men never have to talk about aging — they just get to do it and no one bats an eye. "Yeah, I think it's important to act like a man," Burton jokes. She remembers when her husband (actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan) embraced his natural gray hair, no one in the industry considered him too old for Hollywood.

"In fact, people thought he was hotter," she says. "So I wanted to act like a man in that journey [and embrace my own gray hair]. And so the different reaction I had was a little bit startling, but also made me laugh...I want to treat this chapter of my life as my expertise chapter. I know what I'm doing. I've been training for 20 years, 25, it's been a lot and I wanted to acknowledge that I know what I'm doing and when I talk about my body, I want to know exactly what I'm talking about."

And part of that expertise is knowing herself inside and out. On the days Burton doesn't feel like herself, whether because of hormones or mental health, she emphasizes how important it is to actually communicate those feelings. "It has been vital for me to communicate, not just with my husband, but with my teenage son," she says. "I want him to grow up to be the kind of man that's supportive of the women in his workplace and the women in his life. You know, we all talk about how we need to educate our daughters, but we also need to educate our sons."

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And looking back on her own teenage years, Burton reveals her experience with perimenopause has actually reinforced the values she identified during that period in her life. "I think being a teenager and seeing these people who were gods [in the industry], seeing how insecure and unhappy some of them were really tipped me off right away," she says. "Success is being okay in your little bubble, being okay in your bedroom at night when you're alone by yourself. And so my goals have always kind of centered on, 'Do I feel okay when I'm all by myself?' and menopause is one of those things that can rattle that safety for people."

"It's about knowing who you are so much that no one else can take it away from you," she continues. "And whether it's your work or a sh—ty boyfriend or whatever, you have to know yourself so well that no one can take it away, and menopause can mess with that sometimes. And I'm gonna fight like hell to keep who I am."

Loveall things OTH? Check out This One Moment Proves Brooke Davis Is The Best Character On One Tree Hill.

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Jennifer Lawrence announced she's pregnant, and we couldn't be happier for her! Though she and her husband, Cooke Maroney, aren't known for being in the public eye too much, it seems like this is one piece of news they don't mind sharing! Sorry, but we haven't been this excited about baby news since Suki Waterhouse and Robert Pattinson became parents — excuse us while we celebrate!

Here's everything we know about baby number 2 so far.

November 17: Jennifer Lawrence Glows On The Red Carpet Again

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Not only is Jennifer Lawrence glowing during her second pregnancy, but she's also showing how stylish moms can be! According to WWD, she wore a gorgeous brown Bottega Veneta gown to the Governors Award event and looked like a goddess on the red carpet. The dress and its gold hardware complemented her skin beautifully along with her matching clutch!

It seems like maternity style gets better every year and it gives this mama hope that the world sees that life doesn't stop just because we have kiddos in tow!

Has Jennifer Lawrence debuted her baby bump yet?

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YES! Jennifer Lawrence's baby bump was the star of the Zurawski v Texas premiere (via PEOPLE). She wore a structured white dress with a black belt around her waist that accentuated her cute baby bump and appeared to be glowing.

According to Deadline, she's one of the executive producers of Zurawski v Texas, a documentary that sheds light on the "restrictive abortion laws" that put women's lives in danger in Texas. Alongside producers Hilary and Chelsea Clinton, Jennifer's involvement in the documentary as a pregnant woman makes a pivotal statement during a time where mothers' mortalities aren't always considered during their pregnancies.

When did Jennifer Lawrence announce her second pregnancy?

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Leave it to Vogue to get the exclusive scoop about Jennifer being pregnant again! According to the publication, an official "representative for the actor confirmed" the news yesterday, October 20. So exciting!

When is Jennifer Lawrence's second baby due?

Kevin Mazur

Jennifer Lawrence hasn't announced her due date yet, so we can't be quite sure! However, if she's out of her first trimester, Jennifer could have her baby around April 2025!

What have Jennifer Lawrence and Cooke Maroney said about their family?

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It seems Jennifer Lawrence and Cooke Maroney were open to the idea of having another baby as recently as this summer! An unknown source told Entertainment Tonight, "Jennifer and Cooke are doing very well and are super in love. They make each other laugh and have the best time parenting together. They would love to have another kid and expand their family."

When was Jennifer Lawrence's first baby born?

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Jennifer and Cooke's firstborn son, Cy, was born February 2022, which means he's almost three years old!

The actress later explored her feeling about becoming a mom in another Vogueinterview. "It’s so scary to talk about motherhood. Only because it’s so different for everybody. If I say, It was amazing from the start, some people will think, 'It wasn’t amazing for me at first,' and feel bad. Fortunately I have so many girlfriends who were honest. Who were like, It’s scary," she said.

What has Jennifer Lawrence said about being a mom?

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It seems like Jennifer found her stride because she's apparently embraced being a mom. She hasn't said anything recently, but she did speak with Entertainment Tonight last year during the promotion of No Hard Feelings about her parenting habits. "Of course, the urge to stop anything from ever hurting or negatively affecting your baby..." she said.

However, co-star Andrew Barth Feldman had nothing but positive words to share about Jennifer as a mom. "Jen is an amazing mother, for real. That was kind of one of the incredible things about doing this with you is seeing just how much of a priority being a mother is for you and how deeply you care about that over everything," he said.

We can't wait to see how Jennifer's second pregnancy develops and hope she's willing to give us a little sneak peek of how she's prepping to have two young kids!

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Have you ever wondered why it seems some women always have the best friendships? We're talking about on the level of Sex and the Cityor Insecure. It's debatable whether some of those friends are toxic or not, but that's another story. The point is, it seems like some women have the best luck when it comes to building fun and supportive platonic relationships.

Are there unique qualities women in this position share? According to friendship coach Zoe Asher and licensed therapist Nicolle Osequeda, the answer is yes! Asher is host of the top-rated Accidentally Intentional podcast while Osequeda is the owner and founder of Lincoln Park Therapy Group, giving them an inside look at how people tend to approach all types of relationships!

Let's dive in!

Here are the unique qualities women with lots of friends share.

1. Women with a lot of friends value connection & community.

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The one thing everyone with a solid group of friends can agree on is how it feels like you've built your own supportive community. Friends are often the first people we turn to with good or bad news, or the ones we simply want to go on adventures with. Osequeda says, "Women with strong friendship circles often value connection, community, and the power of vulnerability."

There's a realization that women in this unique position are able to "recognize that life is richer with a support system," says Osequeda. This involves "people who will listen, validate, and be there through both the highs and lows" she adds. From the friend who stayed up with you all night after a bad breakup to the one who cheered the loudest at your graduation, women who have a huge friend circle know that life feels better when we can connect with others.

Based on her experience as a therapist, she's "observed how women start friendships by gradually sharing layers of themselves." This can look like "having children at the same school or bonding over shared interests," she adds. This vulnerability is important because it creates a foundation that signals to women they've found their tribe.

2. Women with multiple friendships are open to vulnerability.

Like Osequeda mentioned, vulnerability can deepen our friendships. "These women are open to sharing the 'messy' parts of themselves which builds a deeper, more authentic bond." Also, she notes women with a lot of friends "aren't afraid to shed layers and be real" because "this vulnerability strengthens their sense of community." The more this happens over time, the more it "helps foster the connections" women with a lot of friends "cherish," according to Osequeda.

Honestly, she says "we’re all wired to seek out connection, and friendships provide that sense of community, validation, and belonging." She believes we truly "crave spaces where we can share our thoughts and feelings about what truly matters to us."

Asher believes women with lots of friends are "usually drawn towards one another in friendship" based on two levels:

  • Level 1: Shared interests, appearance of confidence, a positive energy that they feel (smiling helps with this!)
  • Level 2: (When in conversation) the safety they feel when speaking to another person, [emotional compatibility], how engaged the person is in conversation, and a desire to learn more about them, ultimately to find shared values.

This determines how women move forward in friendships. The approach is often led with "a deep sense of authenticity and care," according to Osequeda. "This is because women want relationships where they can be themselves, sharing hopes, dreams, and frustrations without judgment."

3. Women who have a lot of friends like other people they're friends with.

Again, the fact women with lots of friends actually like the people in their chosen circle is monumental. Asher says, "An interesting Yale study done in 2003 sought to look at 'popularity' in high schools to see if they could find something that all of the most liked and most popular kids had in common (outside of being a jock, etc.,)."

The common thread? "THEY liked the highest amount of people," Asher reveals. I talk about being a people pleaser a lot, but genuinely liking others isn't the same as that. IMO, it's actually admirable when people can respect others regardless of their race, religion, socioeconomic status, or sexuality.

She knows you're likely asking, "How does this apply to women having a lot of friends?" Her answer? "Across the board, the principle here is that women with the most friends are continuously on a hunt to find good and likable things about others."

However, this isn't based on a selfish need or want. "They've determined that the time invested in others is of mutual benefit," says Asher because "the biggest coast in adult female friendships is time — the most finite resource we all share in common."

4. These women also don't mind making new friends.

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While making friends as adults shouldn't be hard, it definitely doesn't mean it comes easily. From overthinking to social anxiety, there's so many reasons why we struggle. Also, this idea we're doing fine without friends isn't exactly helpful or positive. Asher says, "The CDC has said that the impacts of loneliness on our bodies are more harmful than smoking 15 cigarettes A DAY! Making time for quality friendships (and the pursuit of it) is just as important for your physical state as working out is."

Where should you start if you want to forge new friendships? Osequeda says, "Start within communities that already resonate with you — whether it’s your child’s school, your workplace, a gym, dog park or a shared hobby. Places where you already belong create natural opportunities to connect." She even suggests giving "apps like Bumble BFF or local meet-up groups" a chance because they "can also help you find like-minded friends." But don't think you're limited to this!

Though Asher agrees that women tend to approach "friendships by trying to find commonalities right from the beginning," she says you don't have to confine yourself to this formula. "The reason I don't think this is best is because we are boxing ourselves in when we do this. The greatest friends could be on the other side of the stereotypes we're creating," she notes. Taking it a step further, Asher shared her own experience with this. "I watched all 3 of my best friends get married and have kids all before I ever got married. On the outside, most women would think 'They don’t have anything in common.' But on the inside, the character traits and values we each were looking for were mutual, and that became a more important compass for our friendship than the stage in life we were each in."

She was even surprised she'd become close to her best friends because of how things looked externally. "We had nothing in common, but I'm so glad I didn't box myself in," she says excitedly.

Here Are Even More Ways To Make New Friends!

Asher has three ways you can open yourself up to new adult friendships if you're interested.

  1. The most important place to start is our mindset. We have to first decide “I don’t want to be lonely anymore, and I’m worth having meaningful friendships.” When we make that decision, then we give ourselves permission and the courage to step out and take action in that! Important note about this: there was a study done at Stanford that revealed that people are 1.5x MORE likely to accept us than we think they are! So don’t let the fear of rejection hold you back!
  2. Go first. Make the ask, and then make the plans! Saying “We should hang out sometime” is ineffective because “sometime” isn’t a day on the calendar! We cannot wait for other people to want to pursue a friendship with us, because most of us are in this same boat — not knowing where to start! We can pursue connection, get plugged into a community (examples: book club, fitness class, church, etc), or create our own connections by just inviting someone over to our house/apartment. The biggest thing we need to remind ourselves of that is to stop making excuses, or pre-determining how we think people will respond!
  3. Again, don’t box yourself in. Don’t let your preconceived notions of what you think your archetype of a friend will look like stop you from spending time with others who don't fit that label. As addressed above, the friendships we’ve been looking for our whole lives could be right behind the stereotypes we’ve created! It’s more about character traits than it is about the external compatibility of hobbies or stages of life.

Osequeda's last piece of advice? "If you already have a friend group, meeting friends of friends is another great way to grow your circle. They key is taking that first step with a little bit of vulnerability — start a conversation, ask a question, and show interest." She's sure "it's these small moments of openness that create lasting connections!"

Want to know if you've taken on a certain role in your friendships? Discover the 11 ways you can tell if you're an empath!