13 Successful Women Share Tips on Breaking Through the Glass Ceiling

Alli Hoff Kosik
Mar 08, 2018

Most of us have grown up with the understanding that entering the workforce as a woman comes with its own set of challenges — lingering sexism, power imbalances, and a gender pay gap are just a few that come to mind. In traditionally male-dominated industries like tech, real estate, architecture, finance, and venture capital, things can be especially tricky.

We reached out to a handful of highly successful career women working in these fields to get their take on how to be a powerhouse on the job. There’s no doubt these insights will inspire you in your rise to the top — whether you’re the only woman at the office or part of a killer female-only team. Keep scrolling for their advice.

1. Tune in to culture. “When you are interviewing for a new job, pay close attention to the company’s culture. It can vary greatly, even within a given industry. I’m exceptionally lucky to work… in a special place where we not only allow for many different kinds of leaders to lead, but where we actually reward people for fostering a culture of vulnerability, collaboration, growth, and evolution, so we can all achieve our highest potential. This has been a critical component to my professional success and day-to-day happiness at work.” — Annie Gottbehuet, managing director, individual advisory services at TIAA

2. Support other women. “Without question, I would not be where I am today without the support and encouragement of other women in the workplace. It was absolutely critical to my career trajectory, as well as my overall growth and empowerment. Together, we are rewriting the rules of what it means to lead in the workplace — but there is still much to be done. We need more representation of women on executive boards, which is proven to benefit business, as well as a larger share of women in tech jobs and in C-suite roles. It is absolutely crucial that we continue to encourage and mentor one another to take on more leadership roles, seek out promotions, and help establish a healthier work-life balance.” — Christa Quarles, CEO of OpenTable

3. Look for the yes. “There was a time when I had to make multiple attempts and approach three different teams just to coordinate one deal. If I listened every time someone told me ‘no,’ I would always be stuck doing the same thing. I truly believe there is always a creative solution to every problem. Stay true to yourself and always keep a positive mindset. Most importantly, pay it forward!” — Natalie Cheung, general manager of drone light shows at Intel

4. Stay confident… and humble. “I have learned to find confidence in myself and my work. As the only woman, you can help bring a different perspective to the table that is often needed. At the same time, I believe that every day should be treated as an opportunity to learn and gain new insights. Therefore, you need to balance confidence with the ability to trust, respect, and collaborate with your coworkers.” — Linda Jiang, head of industrial design at Essential

5. Believe in something bigger. “Being in a male-dominated industry for over 30 years, I have learned that the most important lesson is to never lose sight of who you are, and always, always, always be true to yourself. Maintain your faith in something more — whether it’s your faith in God, your core beliefs, your spirit, or your moral center. Once you achieve this mindset, you’ll value your knowledge and hard work and, through that, anything is possible.” — Maile Aguila, senior vice president of residential sales at Swire Properties

6. Focus on the opportunity, rather than the challenges, of being a trailblazer. “When I began at The Glimpse Group, I was excited to be the only woman working at that tech startup, because it meant that I was responsible for setting the expectation for other women to eventually follow. Since my first day, the company has on-boarded some really incredible women with strong work ethics and bright minds. I am proud that my performance influenced the hire of these women… I know so many women that were beaten down by their jobs and various industries their careers were in, but this new industry is a completely blank slate with little prejudice or preconceived assumptions.” — Katelyn Coghlan, General Manager of In-It VR, a subsidiary of The Glimpse Group

7. Find your tribe. “Advocating for yourself is a lot easier when you are surrounded by people who support you. Find your allies and find your team. When you’re choosing a new job, don’t just pick the hottest company of the moment. Pick a place that fosters an environment where you can thrive. There are walls everywhere, but often, there are also great people — especially women — who are working hard to break down those walls brick by brick. That’s how we create real change, in all fields and careers.” — Emily Chang, author of BROTOPIA: Breaking Up the Boys’ Club of Silicon Valley($28)

8. Know your worth. “Being women in a field filled with men has helped us learn about self-worth. [As women], we have so much insecurity and anxiety when it comes to our ‘price tag,’ whether it be salary or the cost of the products or services your business provides. Instead of giving yourself the pressure to demand a high price straightaway, take time to test incremental increases with various clients or by project. Know your self-worth and create a case around it. That value will change over time, so make sure you are continually checking in with yourself.” — Jane Lee and Eva Chan, founders of Launch Pop

9. Use your intuition. “A lot of women are told not to bring emotion into business. I say to stay in tune with your emotions, and don’t be afraid to let them help guide you in the workplace. They have paved my career! Women in business carry an incredible amount of innate intuition and emotional intelligence that I don’t believe my male counterparts tap into enough. This important quality has guided me to grow my brokerage firm from 40 agents to more than 800 over the past 10 years.” — Mayi de la Vega, founder and CEO of ONE Sotheby’s International Realty

10. Use your differentiating qualities to your advantage. “Do not try to downplay any of your femininity or any aspects of your emotional being that make you who you are. Instead, use it to your advantage. Realize that in a male-dominated industry, the very essence of a woman at the table is a differentiating point and will be viewed as such. The ability to differentiate or diversify is often used as leverage in business.” — Natalie Diaz, chief of staff at Time Equities

11. Be you. “I am so proud of women. We are working our butts off with such dignity and collaboration. No longer are we undercutting our sisters in the office or downplaying our skills to be subservient to men. We are standing together, expressing our opinions, and moving mountains. My advice? Be proud of your womanhood, build relationships that count, seek community, and emotionally tune in. Yes — tune in to your emotions! Your passions and perseverance will skyrocket you to the top. Anyone pushing you down… let them go.” — Nicole Liebman, director at Hudson Realty Group

12. Don’t overthink it. “Working in a male-dominated industry, I quickly realized that I needed to rise above it, meaning I don’t dwell on the fact that I am in the minority. Kick ass and you will rise above it. Don’t focus on the people who want to pull you down. Find someone else to work with, work somewhere else, or tell yourself they don’t matter, and you will quickly realize that there is no gender when you reach the top of your game.” — Jessica Worman, co-president of M2G Ventures

13. Be fearless. “Architecture has been called the ‘most masculine of arts,’ and yet, when you lift the veil, you find both men and women hard at it. The profession is not for the faint of heart, and it requires great teams and intense collaboration. I grew up during the feminist movement when there was a new freedom to challenge traditional roles. I never had any doubt that women could achieve great things. I was fearless and vocal and unwilling to let gender stand in the way of achieving my potential. Constantly and consciously find meaning in every challenge and build strength through every experience to fuel your creativity, ideas, and strategy.” — Marianne McKenna, founding partner of KPMB Architects 

What’s the best career advice you’ve ever gotten? Tweet us @BritandCo!

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10 Easy Ways To Avoid Burnout At Work, According To A Career Coach

Landing your dream job after crying over bowls of ice cream and a few cocktails feels like hitting the fulfillment lottery. Suddenly, those many nights spent wondering if your career goals would ever materialize seem like a thing of the past. I sympathize with you because I've been there and know what how it feels to wonder if your dreams will ever come true.

I'm also the first to let you know it's possible to give too much to your dream job because you're excited and think, "Doing what I love will never feel like work." Easy misconception aside, you'll hit a home run that leads right into a burnout hole.

How do you avoid getting burnt out from your dream job? Just refer to life and career coach Sally Anne Carroll, PCC of Whole Life Strategies!

What makes landing a dream job so exciting?

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The moment you go from thinking about your dream job to actually landing it feels euphoric. You feel a mixture of "I FINALLY did it" and "I can't wait to get started" because you've wanted it for so long. Carroll offers a better explanation though.

"A dream job is often one that marries our strengths, values, and interests — so it feels meaningful and purposeful as well as presenting opportunities to grow and develop in ways that feel exciting," she says.

This doesn't mean all dream jobs are created equal. Carroll says, "Everyone’s definition of a dream job is a little different, but the idea of showing up every day to do work that feels personally impactful, challenging and fulfilling is really motivating for many of us."

What are some harmful ways people approach daily tasks within their dream role?

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I'm ambitious which isn't bad, but I've been known to be so laser-focused that I forget to take care of my basic needs. It's my way of trying to convince myself that I have to accomplish 2-3 things on my to-do list before giving something else my attention.

"It’s natural to want to succeed in a dream role, but there can be a number of pitfalls to watch out for as you try to prove yourself in the role and work at a demanding pace. It’s just as important to manage your energy and your workload as it is to manage your time," Carroll reminds.

Here's some of the harmful things she says you can do without realizing:

  • Piling too much on your plate each day without a coherent plan to focus and prioritize on priorities
  • Always saying yes to additional workload or meetings without assessing your other commitments
  • Working too many hours, especially without breaks or adequate downtime to recharge, or feeling a need to be “on” 24-7
  • Placing your work to-do list ahead of your self care, sleep or other needs
  • Not communicating clearly about expectations, demands, feedback and needs with managers and co-workers

How can people recognize when they're overexerting themselves at work?

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I'm beginning to think a lot of us are more introspective than we let on, but we may need help figuring out how to redirect ourselves. Carroll says, "Most clients I have worked with know on some level that they’re overdoing it. They feel the stress, and they may know that they need help in coping with it in healthier ways. But they often haven’t figured out how to unwind the situation that’s been created."

She suggests practicing self-reflection, priority and boundary setting, and often, self compassion and grace for yourself. I probably sound like a broken record, but I wholeheartedly believe we could be kinder to ourselves. Sometimes we place so much expectations on ourselves based on what society, family, or even our friends think.

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Carroll says, "Burnout isn’t always a situation of overexertion, however. Sometimes it’s a mismatch between the role and our values, ethics or needs, or toxic workplace situations that can feed burnout as well. And in those cases, you might not recognize it at first."

Unfortunately, toxic workplaces are far more common than any of us like and can add to the stress we place on ourselves to perform our duties well. This can cause us to lose sight of what's truly important to us at our core. Carroll says, "It’s important to identify your core stressors so that you can address those. Burnout is not always about being busy."

What are signs someone is experience burnout?

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Knowing that doesn't mean you're still able to understand if you're experiencing burnout or not though. "Burnout can look many ways — you might find yourself feeling stressed more often or less able to deal with your stressors," Carroll says. "There may be tiredness leading to exhaustion, brain fog, not thinking clearly, or a feeling of running on fumes."

That's always my first sign that I'm feeling burned out. I prioritize sleep because it helps me function the way I'm supposed to, but being sleepy is different from feeling tired on a soul level. There have been times where my alarm has gone off in the morning before work and it feels like I have to drag myself out of bed.

Another indicator that could be experiencing burnout is by losing enthusiasm at your dream job. "You might also be losing interest in the work, feeling like you can’t keep up or that the effort is futile. Often I hear 'I just don’t feel like myself. I’m not usually like this,'" Carroll says.

What happens when burnout completely overwhelms someone even if they love their job?

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This is the part that makes working at your dream job so difficult IMO. I've talked to people who love what they do, but can't find the motivation to keep performing at the high level everyone expects them to.

"Being in full burnout is a physical and mental crisis point. You may feel depressed, lost, numb, exhausted. Your physical and mental health suffers, as well as your joy and often this has an impact on your wider relationships," Carroll indicates.

There's nothing worse than snapping at the people you love because you're stressed and don't know how to communicate that it's because of your dream job. It can take a lot to admit things are tough because you may not want to feel like you're complaining about something you've always wanted.

How can someone have a healthy relationship with work while prioritizing their mental health?

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Burnout is real, it doesn't have to be a permanent thing. One of The Sims 4 characters I was playing developed the 'workaholic' trait and it got to the point where even she came home with the burnout moodlet.

She only had 24 hours to change it before it started affecting the quality of her work so I had to find ways to help her relax. The only thing that truly helped was taking PTO and allowing her to unwind at a spa, spend time with her loved ones, and indulge in hobbies that had nothing to do with work. Eventually, I helped her get rid of the workaholic trait because it was causing more harm than good.

Though that's a simulation game, I can imagine this happens to people. We have to decide we're willing to change how we approach our dream jobs so we're able to still function in our daily lives.

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Carroll says, "Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries — with ourselves and with others — is a key point. Even when it’s your dream job, even when it’s demanding, your work is still one part of the larger picture of your life. Start with what is firmly in your control and make changes there first — there may be workplace changes to consider, but that comes second."

She says this can look like:

  • Placing limits on working after hours
  • Setting technology boundaries
  • Being transparent about workload and priorities
  • Learning to say no
  • Reorganizing or blocking out parts of your schedule and potentially initiating new conversations with your leaders and colleagues where needed

What emotions might someone feel if they realize their dream job isn't what they expected?

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It's disappointing when certain things we thought we wanted aren't what we need or even like. It doesn't matter whether we're learning how to get over a crush or feel like our dream job has become a nightmare.

"When our dream job turns out to be less a dream than expected, it’s natural to feel disappointed, sad, disillusioned or even grief. Depending on the situation, there may be resentment and anger as well if the job was misrepresented, or self doubt and questioning yourself and your decisions," Carroll says.

It doesn't always feel good, but letting yourself feel whatever emotion or thought comes up will help you get through the breakdown of having a dream job that's not what you expected it to be. Carroll says, "It’s important that you allow yourself time and space to understand what you’re feeling and to process that before deciding what to do next. There may be ways to job craft a more fulfilling experience, or you might decide to look at alternatives."

How can someone pivot towards something different if they want to leave their dream job?

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Thinking about stepping away from your dream job in favor of telling burnout to take a hike? This is a judgement-free zone so just know you're able to do that if it makes sense to pivot in a different direction. However, Carroll does advise you to be mindful before making a potentially life-changing decision.

"The first step I always advise clients who want to step away from their role — dream job or not — is to assess the situation from a bigger picture before acting," she says.

  • Take the time to understand what you’ve appreciated most about the role, what you didn’t and what you’re complete with/longing for at this stage of your career. Take stock of what’s most important to you and what is fueling your desire for change.
  • Assess your strengths, skillsets, interests, and career values. A career coach can be a valuable ally to understand how you might you lean into these more as you decide where to pivot.
  • Activate your future by exploring new career roles that build on the foundation you have, but stretch you in the ways you desire and meet your larger life goals. Then do your homework. Go out and explore potential roles through research, networking, job shadowing and interviewing. Testing out your ideas helps you move forward with clarity and confidence before investing in a job search or retraining.

Your dream job doesn't have to end in detriment, but it's still important to know that burnout can happen no matter how much you love what you do. You're not incapable of doing your job just because you get tired and aren't able to do the job of 5 people every single day.

What matters is how well you're able to take care of yourself so you can show up in different areas of your life. And if you still want to give that dream job a chance or step away after you've taken time to catch your breath? That's okay.

Looking for more career advice? Be sure to follow us on Facebook so you never miss a thing!

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Benny Blanco Loves To "Go All Out" For Selena Gomez Date Nights

Things are heating up betweenSelena Gomez and Benny Blanco since late last year to the surprise of some, but it seems like the couple's romance is just getting started. They're not shy about PDA and posting each other on social media and pretty much telling anyone who doesn't like it to get lost. We love how fiercely supportive they are of each other, giving us so many good green flags! Here's everything we know about the lovely new couple so far.

Keep reading For The Latest News On Selena Gomez And Benny Blanco's Relationship

Selena Gomez And Benny Blanco's Relationship Timeline:

Amy Sussman/Getty Images

March 2019

Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco first collaborated on the song "I Can't Get Enough" along with Tainy and J. Balvin in 2019. Though they were featured in a cute scene together, there weren't any rumors about them being romantically linked then.

August 2023

They didn't work together again until late summer 2023 when he produced Selena's single "Single Soon" with Cashmere Cat.

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

December 2023

Before 2023 ended, Selena started leaving comments on Instagram that suggested she and Benny Blanco were in fact together. One of the comments she left appear on this Instagram fan page and it reads, "He is my absolute everything in my heart."

Some fans weren't so thrilled to see the two together though and they weren't afraid to express their opinions. But, this only prompted Selena to leave more comments that defended her relationship with Benny.

People grabbed a screenshot of one of the comments Selena responded that revealed the couple had been together for a while. "Not mad. It’s been 6 months bb. I will always defend my friends, family and fans till the day I die," she wrote. They even shared another screenshot from Selena's Instagram Story that showed her wearing a "B" ring on one of her fingers.

Craig Barritt/Getty Images for TIME

December 15, 2023

Soon after that, Selena shared a photo carousel on Instagram that included some of her favorite moments in New York and Benny Blanco can be seen in BTS moments. The last picture of the carousel features them sharing a kiss in a black and white photo that basically confirms the responses the singer had for fans.

December 28, 2023

Before the new year began, Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco spent some time at a cute art exhibit during a date. From the looks of things, it seemed like they discovered their love language of physical touch early on.

Presley Ann/Getty Images for GQ

January 2, 2024

Feeling the love of being with Selena, Benny Blanco took to Instagram Stories to officially signal that the two are dating. People grabbed a few more screenshots that Benny shared and all we can see is the happy glint that was in Selena's eyes.

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January 3, 2024

The next day the couple were seen court side at one of the Los Angeles Lakers' game. Once again, their love language was on full display in the most intimate way. A source revealed to People that they understood why people had so many opinions about Selena's relationship with Benny. "Everyone was a fan of hers before Only Murders [in the Building], and now everyone is protective of her."

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January 15, 2024

Later that month, Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco showed up to the Emmy Awards together. They were sitting side-by-side and weren't afraid to show affection with each other.

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March 2024

When Benny Blanco's birthday rolled around, Selena Gomez shared a sweet message to him on Instagram. She wrote, "Happy birthday baby! Your emotional endurance, positive disposition, unbelievable talent (that blows me away), undeniable humor and loving, kind heart absolutely kill me. I love you @itsbennyblanco 🎂🥹."

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

April 2024

Although we're only four months into the new year, Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco's relationship is still going strong! The Only Murders in the Building star has been seen smiling in every pic she posts which indicates she's genuinely happy in her relationship. A source hinted to People that the two are doing well. "It’s a very serious relationship, and they’re making long distance work while she’s in New York for work commitments," they said.

Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Spotify

April 25, 2024

In an interview with WSJ, Benny Blanco gave his POV of how his relationship with Selena Gomez began and it was the cutest revelation. "It’s crazy how your partner could just be sitting there the whole time, right in front of your eyes...And then you have a Clueless moment where you're like, Wait, I'm in love," he says.

A man who compares his relationship to that moment in Clueless where Cher and Josh admit their feelings for each other gets brownie points from us!

May 15, 2024

It looks like Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco's relationship may be ready for the next step — that's if you ask Mr. Blanco. He appeared on The Howard Stern Show yesterday to chat about everything, including his relationship with Selena. When Howard Stern asked, "You want to have kids with Selena? Have you told her you want to have kids yet," Benny replied, "That’s my next goal, to check the box. I have a ton of godkids. I've got a ton of nephews. I love being around kids."

However, he's not in a rush and wants everything to happen naturally. All that matters is that the two of them are in each other's life. He said, "I just know that when I look at her, I just say, ‘I don’t know a world where it could be better than this.’ That’s what I always say to her.”

Neilson Barnard/Getty Images

May 29, 2024

Selena Gomez tells TIME just how much Benny Blanco means to her — no matter what anyone else says. "My own fans, who I adore and feel like have shaped who I am, will say the most hurtful things to me about how I live my life," she says. "But he has the strength in him that none of that noise fazes him. It’s really impressive, and I just cherish every moment with him. I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know that he’s not going anywhere any time soon.”

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October 27, 2024

Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco looked amazing in their Alice in Wonderland couple's Halloween costume. "Curiouser and curiouser," Selena wrote on the post, which is totally reminding us of Taylor Swift's 1989 (hello "Wonderland"!!!).

Selena wore a corset dress in what looks like slate blue with cap puffed sleeves and a tulle skirt, along with a blonde wig, black bow, and slingback shoes. Benny went all out as the Mad Hatter with face paint, a wig, a top hat, and a waistcoat. We'd follow them down the rabbit hole!

November 11, 2024

Benny Blanco's been featured in People's'Sexiest Man Alive' issue and we're kind of feeling it! What started off as an unlikely choice for Selena has turned into a deep understanding of why she loves him so much. The man is an excellent host, cook, and gentleman which makes him an off-the-charts lover. And when it comes to date night, he believes in making sure every time is special. "I [still] go all out for every date. It doesn't mean spending your entire bank account. It means being attentive and listening," he said.

His most memorable dates with Selena involve the times she "rented out a whole botanical garden" and he "got her Taco Bell" before proceeding to make her "movie-theater nachos" and deep-frying her "favorite pickles from Texas" for Valentine's Day.

He also gushed about his favorite time of the day. "I'm a real morning person. It's my favorite time to spend with Sel, because we both wake up really early. It's like our moment before the rest of the world wakes up." Not only that, but the music producer is thrilled he has "a true best friend" he gets to spend his life with.

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This post has been updated.

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6 Incredible Pieces Of Career Advice From Carrie Bradshaw That Every Recent Grad Should Read

Over the past few decades, Carrie Bradshaw became famous for her sense of style and her illustrious dating life, but her career? Not so much. Carrie's career never got the love and recognition it deserved, despite the fact that when most Gen X and millennial women think of New York writers, an image of Carrie at her laptop comes to mind.

Gone are the days where college grads would get their first job, rise the corporate ranks, and stay for half a decade (or more) — only to pivot to an adjacent company and continue their safe, yet predictable career paths. For better or worse, the job market has changed, and the trajectory of our collective careers have changed along with it.

As a fellow blonde New Yorker with an unconventional career path, I've always admired Carrie's professional pursuits. Watching (and rewatching) Sex and the City gives me so many sage pieces of advice that remain invaluable as I pave my own way, whether that was the writers' intention or not. Keep reading for the job and career advice from Carrie Bradshaw that every recent grad and corporate girly should read.

Careers are not linear, and that's OK!

Max

Rather than feeling like a failure for not living up to our parents’ outdated idea of success, I’ve taken some wisdom from Carrie, who had this all figured out back in the '90s. She started as a columnist for a newspaper, then authored several successful books, before becoming a podcast host. In between, she also wrote for Vogue and headlined a speaker series on dating in New York City.

The moral of the story? It’s OK to change directions and to switch up your path if what you’ve been doing no longer brings you joy (or, if the industry shifts and you need to pay rent). You don’t need to cling to a decision just because you spent a long time making it.

You can make the freelance & gig economy work for you.

HBO

Carrie was a freelance writer before it was cool, but she was also an early adapter to the gig economy (see: all those Learning Annex lessons). Manhattan is expensive, and when I was laid off at the start of the pandemic, I turned to freelance work to make ends meet. I had to get really scrappy and learn some new skills on the fly, but like Carrie, it all worked out in the end (and I had some cash left over for shoes, too!)

Fake it 'til you make it!

Max

Sure, Carrie is a member of the press, but she’s a sex columnist at a D-list publication. No shade to a fellow writer, but I love how Carrie didn’t let this stand in her way. She attended fashion week and befriended Vogue editors and talked up her accomplishments enough to get into any door she wanted (except for that LA premiere, but we'll forgive it). One thing I’ve learned is that you’re your own best advocate, and no one else is going to do the work for you — it’s up to you to make things happen for yourself.

Know your worth, and don't settle for less.

HBO

When Carrie decided to buy her condo, but she didn't have enough cash saved (a different story for a different day), she proclaimed that she was offered "$4 a word at Vogue — most people get $2." Now, even in the '90s/early millennium this was seriously delulu, but Carrie believed in herself, went after what she wanted, and earned what she was worth. In-universe, this is double what the average Vogue writer was earning, which is a major win.

Don't let the fear of making a mistake stop you from thinking big and taking calculated risks!

HBO

When Carrie is approached to write a book based on her column, she's in shock and even considers turning down the opportunity. She decides to take a meeting, but it doesn't go well and she questions whether she should be writing a book at all. Luckily, Carrie pushes through these moments of self-doubt and completes her book, which becomes a huge success and the first of many. The lesson here is that self-doubt is normal, but letting those thoughts take over will hold you back from your full potential.

Remember to trust the process, because good things won't happen overnight!

Max

One of my favorite things about Carrie is that she's a flawed character and forever a work-in-progress, from her love life to her career path. When we first meet Carrie, she's writing a weekly column for a local newspaper. We see her writing the column every day (for six seasons!), which may seem insignificant, but she's laying the groundwork and putting in the hours for her next career move, whatever that may be. Little by little, we see Carrie start to take on bigger projects, and she ends the series as a Vogue writer, a best-selling author, and a highly respected figure in NYC society. TV and movies can present success as an overnight sensation, but in real life — and in Carrie's case — it's more often a marathon than a sprint. Remember to give yourself grace and trust the process.

Looking for more career advice? Sex and the City? Whatever you need, be sure to follow us Facebook!

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'Outer Banks' Fans Are Really Not Happy With THAT Death

Major Outer Banks season 4 spoilers ahead!

ICYMI, Outer Banks season 4 dropped its second half on November 7, and fans have a lot of very strong feelings about it. Despite the fact JJ's entire character arc is about defiance, hope, and being the ultimate Pogue, Outer Banks season 4 ended with his biological dad, a kook named Chandler Groff, killing him in cold blood.

It's an absolutely devastating ending for everyone's favorite character, and fans are having a hard time coping with the loss. The fact we only got 10 episodes of JJ and Kiara together (a relationship written into the show after viewers picked up on the chemistry between Rudy Pankow and Madison Bailey) makes it even worse — and a lot of fans are saying they won't watch the show again.

"I can’t even watch the previous seasons anymore knowing how it all ends," viewer Jordyn Bruder says in an email. "JJ was the literal heart of OBX and he was the glue that held the Pogues together. There is no OBX without JJ."

Outer Banks Fan Reactions To JJ's Death

​In which episode does JJ die?

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

JJ dies at the end of Outer Banks season 4 episode 10, "The Blue Crown" after rescuing Kiara from his father Chandler Groff. "I feel mad, betrayed, disappointed and heartbroken to say the least," Bruder adds. "JJ went through a lot of crap through the show and he was the one character who deserved his happy ending the most. When the series first came out, people fell in love with JJ and [Kiara]."

While the cast obviously found out about the ending while filming, fans are frustrated with how they chose to promote the show. "Obviously the cast can’t spoil a character death, but to blatantly lie and mislead fans by saying that Jiara was 'evergrowing' and fans would be happy with how the season plays out?" Bruder says. "Jiara fans deserved so much better than what we got, ESPECIALLY when they knew they were killing JJ off."

Why are Outer Banks fans so upset?

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

The show is the kind of phenomenon that made instant stars out of its cast, but it also made waves because of how the first season portrayed issues like classism, substance abuse, and domestic abuse. "As someone who has been around domestic abuse, I think the handling of the character JJ was detrimental culturally," another fan (who would like to remain anonymous) says. "The character suffered abuse at the hands of a man who was not even his biological father, and the writers almost framed it as if that was okay because in the beginning, his father loved him. Instead of telling a story to victims of abuse about hope and making it through trials, the writers went the opposite way. I also find it interesting that they stated this was a planned death. I think writing a character who is suffering from anxiety and clear mental health issues as well as abuse who is very young like JJ only to let him fall in love and kill him right when he starts to feel happiness doesn’t necessarily make a lot of sense narratively."

Another viewer adds that ending JJ's story that way felt "disrespectful...especially when in an interview following the episode, one of the creators literally referred to his death as pointless." She even says "it feels almost like the show died along with him."

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

Actress Madelyn Cline (Sarah Cameron) called JJ the "heart of Outer Banks"and for a lot of fans, JJ also became a beacon of hope, a reminder that you can endure, persevere, and come out stronger on the other side. Since the first season of the show dropped during April 2020, it's been one consistent, fun thing for TV fans since the COVID-19 pandemic began, which makes the loss feel even greater.

"Seeing him die at the hands of another abusive father was honestly kind of sickening," the viewer adds. "It’s also unfortunate that his death didn’t seem to mean anything. A character death like this would be one thing if it meant something. If he had died protecting his friends or actively protecting Kiara, rather than having already saved her and then getting killed afterward, it might’ve be easier to get past."

"It’s like a connection to something good and steady was just broken," X user @onlykiep4l says. "Killing a character that has literally gone trough so much trauma and was finally happy just doesn’t make sense. It’s not just the character that’s gone — it feels like a part of the show has ended too."

Why does JJ get killed off?

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

Rumors have been circulating for years about behind-the-scenes drama between actors Rudy Pankow and Madison Bailey, which has fans believing Rudy asked to be written off the show(for the record, Outer Banks creators Josh & Jonas Pate and Shannon Burke have said it was the plan from the beginning). With Rudy's exit, the writers had a difficult choice in front of them. JJ isn't the kind of guy to abandon his friends, meaning the writers obviously felt like killing him was the only option. But according to an additional viewer, "Outer Banks hasn't been that type of show."

"To attempt to turn this fun, summer, boat show into some dark, depressing story where the heart of the show is gone destroys everything that the show started out as," she says.

Another anonymous fan calls the choice "a character assassination," adding other moments from the season that feel like a different character than the one fans have come to love: barely reacting to John B. and Sarah's pregnancy announcement, or to the fact Rafe had come to talk to Kiara — especially after his reaction to Rafe catcalling Kie in the first season is a moment that led fans to ship them in the first place.

The fan continues by calling JJ's treatment a "lack of respect" toward the character. "The fact that the writers tried to make us dislike him, to soften the blow of him dying. It didn’t work. It has everyone distraught because many people’s favorite character ended up dying after 'finding happiness' for about 10 minutes in Episode 10."

​Does Sarah get pregnant in Outer Banks season 4?

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

But JJ's death isn't the only moment that has fans reeling. In addition to the fact viewers are saying the Pogues barely reacted to the death of their lifelong best friend, Pope is now a murderer and Kiara makes an absolutely chilling vow to get revenge on Groff — a far cry from the characters we fell in love with in season 1.

"Outside of the JJ of it all, a lot of plot lines/dynamics in part 2 felt off," one of our anonymous fans continues. "Sarah’s pregnancy plot line, especially when coupled with the quote from a creator about ‘giving her a baby specifically because she wasn’t ready’ feels incredibly tone deaf given the current state of things here in the US. The fact that there wasn’t even a conversation of if she wanted to continue with the pregnancy felt very icky. Overall, episodes 1-4 of this season did feel like Outer Banks, but everything after that felt like it was from an entirely different piece of media."

Jackson Lee Davis/NetflixYep, 'Outer Banks' Season 4 Just Killed Off THAT Character

However, some fans are excited to see where the show goes from here. "JJ was such a strong character and his presence will obviously be missed, [but] I am excited to see how the Pogues react and what they do to get revenge on Groff," Virginia McGrew says in an email. "I also think that the scene of JJ dying with Kiara was extremely well done and emotional, making his passing even sadder. I ultimately believe that JJ’s passing serves as a reminder of the themes the show."

"JJ made the group even more aware of friendship, the importance of chosen family, and loyalty, which was seen throughout the season and especially in the finale," she continues. "Now that he is gone, the other Pogues will have to step up even more, creating a shift in their dynamic. While many believe that Outer Banks might not be worth watching after this finale, I truly think that it is only going to get even deeper and more interesting."

Let us know your thoughts on the Outer Banks season 4 ending on TikTok. And check out why This Heartbreaking Outer Banks 5 Theory Makes THAT Death Even More Emotional.

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This Heartbreaking 'Outer Banks' 5 Theory Makes THAT Death Even More Emotional

Outer Banks season 4 part 2 finally dropped November 7, and after theories were swirling around our favorite Pogues — is Sarah pregnant? Will JJ die? Will the group FINALLY get their hands on some treasure (and NOT lose it?) — we got the answers we'd been waiting for. And unfortunately, not all of them were answers we wanted. Sarah is indeed pregnant but the Pogues finally avenged Terrance, but in the final moments of the Outer Banks season 4 ending, we also lost JJ which is something I literally can't believe I'm writing. JJ and Kiara are the one couple fans latched onto (and that the cast and crew never saw coming) and to finally see them in a relationship only to lose JJ 10 episodes later? I'm heartbroken.

Creators Josh & Jonas Pate and Shannon Burke recently revealed Outer Banks season 5 will be "an epic fifth and final season," and there's one theory going around that makes that finale even more emotional. Here's everything you need to know aboutOuter Banksseason 5. Bring it on home John B.!

Keep Reading For The Latest News On Outer Banks Season 5

  • Outer Banks season 5 will be the last season of the hit Netflix show.
  • The series will follow Kiara and the Pogues getting revenge on Chander Groff for JJ's death.
  • Josh & Jonas Pate and Shannon Burke say "it will be our best [season] yet."

Is JJ really dead?

@unsiredd#obx#outerbanks#jjmaybank#johnbroutledge#johnb#sarahcameron#obx4#fyp#foryou#fireworks♬ Where'd All the Time Go? - Dr. Dog

There are a few theories about how Outer Banks season 5 will handle JJ's death (aside from Kiara's chilling vow to get revenge, of course). Some fans have their fingers crossed the group will use the Blue Crown to wish him back to life, while others are holding onto hope he was simply unconscious. But there's one theory that stands out among the rest to me: JJ is really dead, and this whole time, John B.'s narration has been telling his unborn child about his namesake.

The show teased Sarah and John B. will name their baby JJ, and since Outer Banks is all about family, friendship, and spending time with one another, the reveal that all along, Outer Banks has been the story of the Pogues' adventures would literally be the perfect way to send them off. I'm literally crying just thinking about it.

Will there be a 5th Outer Banks?

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Yes, we're getting a fifth and final season of Outer Banks coming to Netflix soon. While we don't have an official release date yet, we're expecting to see the last installment in 2025 or 2026.

In their official letter "to all Pogues," creators Josh & Jonas Pate and Shannon Burke explain how a photo of teenagers on a beach during a power outage inspired them to create the hit show we've all come to know and love. "From this beginning, we imagined a mystery that would lead to a five-season journey of adventure, treasure hunting, and friendship," they say in an official letter. "At the time, seven years ago, it seemed impossible that we would really get to tell the whole five season story, but here we are, at the end of our fourth season, still chopping away."

"Now, with a little sadness, but also excitement, we're putting Season Four behind us and turning to Season Five, in which we hope to bring our beloved Pogues home in the way we imagined and planned years ago," they continue. "Season Five will be our last season, and we think it will be our best yet. We hope you'll join us for one more paddle out to the surf break."

I can't wait to see Outer Banks season 5, and TBH five seasons will round out the show perfectly considering each season focuses on a different Pogue. That means season 5 will probably focus on Sarah alongside Kiara's revenge. 👀 Stay tuned for all the OBX5 info you need to know.

Here's Yep, Outer Banks Season 4 Just Killed Off THAT Character in case you're still processing.

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