Author Chana Ginelle Ewing On How Identity + Intersectionality Can Unlock Human Potential

Whether or not we admit it, there's definitely still a stigma around singleness. "Despite the fact that these days we may not need a partner to fulfill our hopes, being single remains so stigmatized, with shows depicting the need to compete to win love and headlines depicting women who are single as in an unfortunate situation," Dr. Taitz says. "It’s key to be mindful of these unhelpful messages to [keep them] from impacting how we view ourselves."

I've been on a few dates as an adult, but I often feel like I've missed out on a lot of the foundational experiences that come with being a young woman. Not to mention that it's easier than I'd like to admit to feel like there's something wrong with me if I'm the common thread through every dead-end romantic situation.

Even if comments from your friends like "They're just not good enough for you" or "You're so independent" have good intentions, not feeling desired is hard. Sometimes you just need to process those emotions in whatever way works best for your wellbeing because singleness is incredibly complex — one day I'm enjoying eating at a restaurant alone, the next a rom-com makes me cry — and as easy as it is to swing between the extremes of total happiness to bitterness, the reality is that I'm usually somewhere in between.

"Days like Valentine’s Day can be incredible opportunities to practice self-validation and self-compassion," Taitz says. "Being single on a day that can pull you to compare or feel less than is a good time to be especially kind to yourself [and act] in ways that remind you that you are enough and don’t need a plus one to feel whole."

Activities that engage your soul will help you feel good *and* romanticize self-care at the same time. I love creating a vision board in my bullet journal to see my dreams on paper, or reminding myself of where my true worth lies. If you're really struggling with feeling lonely, Taitz recommends listing out the areas of your life that matter to you, then writing down the value you want to add to each and mapping out how and why those values matter.

"There’s no way a relationship can be your full sense of worth — that’s not fair to you or the relationship and that’s not accurate in terms of what we know about happiness," she says. "Happiness hinges on being present and engaging in positive actions and having fulfilling relationships — and coupling isn’t the only source of connection (assuming it is almost like limiting your diet to strawberries — it’s not going to fill you and will deplete you)."

There is so much more to my worth than whether I have a romantic partner: I love movies and books, I love talking to my little sister on the phone, and I can spend hours happily in the kitchen listening to music and making a nourishing dinner. There's much more to your worth, too.

My mother constantly reminds me to wait for the Right person, not the Right Now person. There are pros and cons to every phase of life, and I'm very content with the pros right now. Eventually, however, I'm hoping my Valentine's Day charcuterie board for one will become a board for two.

Valentine's Day Ideas For Single People

Make A Romantic Dinner For One

Who says you have to save the steak dinner or Spicy Pesto Pasta Alla Vodka for a date night? Make yourself a giant bowl of delicious food, light some candles, and spend an entire evening enjoying the fruits of your labor. Finish the meal with one of our 50+ Best Chocolate Recipes for good measure.

Wear Your Favorite Outfit

Get all glammed up for your workday, whether you prefer Emily in Paris-level fashion or casual work outfits. Don't forget some Valentine's Day nails to add the perfect finishing touch.

Spend A Whole Day On Yourself

On your next day off, put on your aforementioned cute outfit to explore a local bookstore, go shopping, or make a killer martini. You can buy yourself flowers, call your mom or your best friend, and just have a wonderful day celebrating love in all its forms. Being single on Valentine's Day means you don't have to compromise on what your ideal day looks like, so layer in all of our favorite things to make it extra special.

Have A Rom-Com Night

You don't have to swear off romantic movies in honor of being single — it can be just as fun to watch them with your galentines or on your own! Some of my go-to's are Set It Up, Crazy Rich Asians, and The Proposal. Check out The 30 Best Rom-Coms Of All Timefor more ideas.

Go Crazy With The Pink

Valentine's Day is a big day for people who love pink. Make a pink cocktail, whip up a batch of some celebrity crush cookies, or make your own conversation heart care packagefilled with pink treats. I will be dressed in head-to-toe pink, with a rosy makeup look to boot.

All dressed up but not sure where to go? Here are some ideas for your V-Day.

Is It Weird To Go To A Bar Alone?

Going to a bar on your own is definitely not weird. Just sit back and enjoy your favorite drink while you people watch. Plus, you never know who you might meet ;).

Is It Weird To Go To A Restaurant Alone?

It's definitely not weird to go to a restaurant alone. I look at it like taking myself on a date. Well, myself and my favorite book!

Is It Weird To Go To A Concert Alone?

Concerts might feel like one place you could never go by yourself, but you can actually make some really great friends with the people around you! I've made some awesome relationships waiting in line by myself, and I had a blast at Taylor Swift's Eras Tour by myself.

Is It Weird To Go To The Movies Alone?

If you love seeing a movie on the big screen, then you should definitely consider going to the theater on your own. You can enjoy the movie without worrying about anyone else, plus you don't have to share the popcorn. Here are The 42 Most-Anticipated Winter Movies and The 30 Most-Anticipated Spring Movies so you can start planning your next solo movie day :).

What is the 4B Movement?

According to The Washington Post, this is a "radical Korean feminist movement that swears off men to reclaim a sense of agency." It sounds similar to abstinence, but the trickle down effects are vastly different. Abstinence is taking a step back from anything that usually taps into your pleasure center — and that doesn't always mean sex. However, the 4B Movement is specifically rooted in 'de-centering men' completely.

CBSstates that researchers Jieun Lee and Euisol Jeong wrote a paper for Yonsei University about the movement, and deciphered that the "B" has four meanings:

1. biyeonae — "refusal of dating men"
2. bisekseu — "sexual relationships with men"
3. bihon — "heterosexual marriage"
4. bichulsan — "childbirth"

How did the 4B movement start?

In 2016, Hankyoreh reported that a man in his 30's chose to stab an unknown young woman in Seoul, Korea. When asked why he committed the crime, he gave this answer: "I did it because women have always ignored me." In response to the random attack, Hong Seong-su, a law professor at Sookmyung Women’s University, share a chilling message that the outlet recounted in the article. "The fact that [Kim] chose ‘some woman’ [as opposed to ‘some person’] as the target for his crime suggests it is not going too far to view this as a crime of hate against women."

This radical moment was an inception point for the movement overall, started in opposition to this gender-based violence, as well as gender-based discrimination as a whole. The Korean Herald noted that factors like pay inequality and a Donald Trump-like president of their own (Yoon Suk-yeol) were driving forces in 4B. Since his election in 2022, Yoon Suk-yeol has "promised to abolish the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family, which has been popular with his anti-feminist base," (via Korean Herald). Between all this and the global sensation of #MeToo, the 4B Movement gained major momentum throughout the last eight years.

The 4B Movement's Lasting Impact In South Korea

According to The Korean Herald, over 150 elementary schools aren't seeing first-graders walk through their doors and it has everything to do with the falling birth rate in South Korea. CNN reports that officials are so concerned, they're willing to do something to combat it. President Yoon Suk Yeol said, "We will mobilize all of the nation’s capabilities to overcome the low birth rate, which can be considered a national emergency."

But, this isn't the first time the birth rate has been addressed. Another CNN article reported that South Korea dished out $200 billion to "boost the population over the past 16 years." Still, things haven't worked in the government's favor. It's evident less women are having children and it seems to directly stem from women upholding the ideology they're not allowing their bodies to be used for motherhood anymore.

American Women's Response To The 4B Movement

After the shocking results of the 2024 presidential election, many women began to rethink how they relate to the men in their lives, finding South Korea's 4B Movement in the process. Based on the current rhetoric about women who don't have children and the restrictive anti-abortion laws with hardly any policies in place to reduce the maternal mortality rate, it's understandable why some women are fearful or fed up — and why many women are now finding parallels to what sparked 4B in the first place.

When you see people like Nicholas J. Fuentes tweeting things like "Your body, my choice. Forever," on the same day Trump won a second term as president, it can leave a sickening taste in one's mouth. One user's response to this was, "Funny how the loudest champions of 'freedom' are often the first to undermine it for everyone else."

Alongside this are men's social movements that are clearly intertwined with the current political climate, too. While obviously not all men believe in these ideologies, there's been a stark rise in their prevalence.

In 2020, ADL reported about the mindset of "Incels" and discovered that they feel emboldened by the 'manosphere.' So, what do they tend to believe? According to outlet, there's a belief "that the current sexual 'marketplace' gives women too much freedom to choose their own partners." Not only that, but the outlet says Incels tend to think women choose to ignore men unless they look a certain way or have a certain status, "leaving the remaining 80 percent of men (including incels) without a potential partner."

Nicole Prause, a UCLA Statistician and Academic, is well-versed in abstinence movements, and what they ultimately indicate based on statistics. "There are a number of similar men's movements already, especially Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)," she says. According to her, MGTOW don't pursue marriage or relationships with women, but "seek sex when it is on their 'terms.'" She says, "They're often viewing it as a battle pitting sexes against one another. These movements tend to be separatist, often evolving into misogyny and violent speech, such as glorifying sexual coercion and rape."

As a result of these growing men's movements and the incoming 47th President of the United States — a convicted felon with multiple allegations of sexual assault — there have been growing calls from women on social media to consider the 4B Movement for themselves. X user @jungsooyawning wrote, "american women it's time to learn from the koreans and adopt the 4b movement as a matter of fact women from all over the world should adopt the 4b movement i'm so serious," on the platform.

Freelance writer Daria Yasmiene also wrote about about why she's taking part in the movement for POPSUGAR. She said, "As a Black woman who has lived through three back-to-back elections with Trump as a focal point, I'm so far beyond tired that I need a lifestyle change." Ultimately, she wants to continue having the freedom to choose to live her life in a way that's not solely governed by men.

"With the little autonomy that I have left, I would rather be alone and safe from the consequences of male influence in my life than lie next to someone who doesn't see me as an equal. We deserve so much more than that."

Meanwhile, Sex and Relationships Coach, Leah Carey says that 4B "makes sense as a response to realizing that a majority of men valued the economy over a woman's right to self-determination." Depending on where you stand, she also says that it can be "seen as 'punishment' for men" or "as a choice of self-determination and self-protection for women." Somatic Trauma Therapist, Blessing Uchendu shares Carey's sentiments in that the movement is "a response to patriarchy and the centering of men and conversely the objectification of women, with the expectation that they fulfill roles as wives and mothers."

Potential Benefits Of The 4B Movement

So with all that in mind, is a movement like 4B beneficial? And is it even sustainable? I'm not going to tell you that you should or shouldn't join the 4B Movement because it's a personal decision. It's always wise to examine where you are in life instead of relying on social media, news outlets, or even the government to determine what you're going to believe. Still, there may be some benefits to the 4B Movement that outweigh any potential fallouts.

Carey says that "not being refused care for reproductive matters" is a potential benefit of 4B, while also highlighting that "the mental health benefits can also be huge for people who deal with anxiety, depression, or anything else that might cause emotional hardship in the current climate."

This could also lead to women identifying and honoring their true desires instead of following society's scripts about who they should be. Somatic Trauma Therapist, Blessing Uchendu believes that 4B is about women de-centering men and re-centering themselves — about "being the 'stars of their own stories,' rather than supporting characters in a malde-dominated narrative." Uchendu says. "It can be incredibly empowering to step away from systems that have felt compulsory in order to reflect on whether you are making decisions centered on yourself and your desires or whether these decisions are centered on the expectations of the society around you."

The most important thing Carey wants to note is that women aren't unable to find love and joy ever again by participating in the 4B movement. "Just because a woman chooses not to date, have sex, get married, or have kids with a man doesn't mean she can't do those things: with other women. it's more and more common for adult women to explore their same-sex attractions after divorce or widowhood," she notes. "With a generation of young women growing up with the understanding that heterosexuality is not the only option, we may see a wave of younger women also exploring in this arena (in addition to all the younger women who already know themselves to be queer)."

I would also say that you can always go back to dating and engaging with men whenever you want — this movement doesn't have to be a permanent choice if you don't want it to be. The whole point is to take charge and embrace your own sense of agency.

Yet, Prause does pause to mention the downside to "separatist movements." She explains that without support from men, women could struggle financially given pay disparities and other gender-based work inequities. Still, she says this doesn't really affect much if women have been figuring things out for themselves with little help from men.

Ultimately Uchendu says women having the freedom to exist without the weight of society's patriarchal standards on their shoulders is the "ultimate freedom." She says, "In the words of Audre Lorde 'If I did not define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and be eaten alive."

No woman should have to live in fear of having violence committed against her, but history continues repeating itself in terms of how society treats our bodies. "When a woman's right to make choices about her own body and health care are removed, she may decide to not put herself in a position where pregnancy can become an option," Carey says.

Prause chimes in with, "On average, women are more likely to experience mental health declines with marriage to a man (the opposite is true for men). While men also can experience domestic violence and sexual assault, the risks are exceptionally higher for women." Not only that, but she also points out that "women risk unwanted pregnancy, from which they now have fewer healthcare rights to address" and "are at much higher risk for sexually transmitted infections, even from their regular romantic partner."

As if that weren't a slap in the fact, Prause mentions that "childcare continues to fall disproportionately on women and does cause less income for women over time."

What is 'Sinners' about?

When twin brothers Smoke and Stack return home for a new beginning, they're initially met with welcome arms. But as daylight turns to dusk and gives way to nightfall, unspeakable horrors expose themselves to the townspeople. Evil not only consumes everything in its path, it also changes Smoke and Stack in ways they could've never prepared for.

It's set in the 1930s South which means we'll get dialect, fashion, music, and more themes from that time period.

Who's Hailee Steinfeld starring as?

Hailee Steinfeld will be starring as Mary, the love interest of Stack. Since not much is known about her outside of that, we're assuming their romance is forbidden. What we do know is Hailee's a fan of her character and the overall themes of Sinners.

According to PEOPLE, the actress shared more of her thoughts in her newsletter Beau Society March 28. She wrote, "...This role is far removed from what I've done, but that's part of what drew me to it! I feel like I'm stepping into my own more and more as I get older, and this role mirrors that."

She also shared that it didn't take much for her to be a part of Sinners. "The minute I heard Ryan Coogler, I was in. Then I read his script and was like, 'Holy s---, this feels like a massive undertaking.' The story is so complex and layered," calling herself "fortunate and honored to even be remotely considered." So, how does Hailee Steinfeld feel about Sinners as a whole?

She says it's "thrilling and sexy and daring and dangerous — with bold representations."

Who else is starring in 'Sinners?'

Besides Hailee Steinfeld, Sinners has a robust cast that'll make the storyline even more rousing. In no particular order, viewers will see:

• Michael B. Jordan as Smoke/Stack
• Jack O'Connell as Remmick
• Omar Benson Miller as Cornbread
• Li Jun Li as Grace
• Jayme Lawson as Pearline
• Wunmi Mosaku as Annie
• Delroy Lindo as Delta Slim
• Lola Kirke as Joan
• Miles Caton as Sammy

When can I watch 'Sinners?'

The Sinners movie debuts April 18, 2025, so start planning your trip to your local theater ASAP!

Watch The Official Trailer For 'Sinners'

Trigger warning: There's a few jump scares in the Sinners movie trailer that feature bloody moments.

We think the tagline for the film says it best: "You keep dancing with the devil, one day he’s gonna follow you home," (via Warner Bros. Pictures).