If you've been online recently, then I'm sure you've become all too familiar with the #tradwife aesthetic — and the ladies who come along with it and dominate our FYP's at the moment. The two that you've probably seen the most? Ballerina Farm and Nara Smith.
Nara Smith took the internet by storm with her "from scratch" meals she makes while simultaneously raising her three kids and modeling alongside her husband at just 22 years old. Nara begins just about every video with, "My kids woke up and told me they wanted ___ so I decided to make it." And she proceeds to cook her "from completely scratch" meal for whatever her kids or husband want that day — all while in full glam and a gown.
She's loved and loathed at the same time, but regardless you can't look away. Her content, among so many other tradwife creators, portrays a life deemed "simple," but leaves viewers feeling that it may not actually be attainable. It opens up a wider conversation around societal expectation of women, and how these "aesthetic" lifestyles may be damaging to women's overall esteem.
This then makes us ask the question: does Nara Smith actuallyauthentically live out this unrealistic lifestyle every day? Or is it simply a show she puts on for social media? After compiling some of Nara's most unhinged and unrealistic videos, I talked to clinical psychologist Dr. Charlynn Ruan and mental health professional Natalie Rosado to get their opinion on this new #tradwife lifestyle. Here's what I found out!
What is a tradwife?
A tradwife is just short for "traditional wife," meaning that a woman falls into the more stereotypical or traditional roles for women in society — think cooking, cleaning, domestication, or homemaking. None of these acts are inherently negative or punitive for a tradwife, but simply the way they live their lives and lean into those traditional roles.
Is this attainable for most women?
Dr. Charlynn Ruan, Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the founder of Thrive Psychology Group, explains that it's not harmful for a woman to choose to be a homemaker "as long as she is in an arrangement that protects her financially and otherwise." For most women, however, this lifestyle is solely dependent on your partner. You cannot work a full-time job, raise your children, be a wife, and cook completely from scratch every single day. Even the recent Sunday Times article featuring Ballerina Farm suggests that she would lay in bed for weeks from exhaustion trying to keep with this lifestyle.
Given how dependent this lifestyle ultimately is, Dr. Charlynn recommends that you have an arrangement in place that protects you from solely relying on your partner to take care of you financially. She says that her concern is that women aren't seeing the long term consequences of the “tradwife” role and are instead inextricably linking one’s financial stability and wellbeing with one’s relationship. This has, historically, not often worked out well for women.
Can the tradwife lifestyle be harmful?
Photo by Florida Memory on UnsplashWhile the tradwife trend may seem fun to consume, it could potentially have longterm mental health effects that we have yet to see. I talked to licensed mental health professional, Natalie Rosado, to ask what implications this may have and she said it affects these spheres of womanhood:
- Autonomy: These women are portraying a deflection of self, instead focusing on the servitude of their family. Which can be an incredible gift, and joy for many, but the content is primarily focused on the servitude of others, thus communicating the message that autonomy/independence as a woman doesn't matter.
- Unrealistic Expectations: Rosado says that this new fad is enchanting to look at but is subconsciously romanticizing an unrealistic expectation of motherhood and family roles. She said that this could be detrimental to mental health because it can create immense pressure on women to live up to these standards, leading to feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and low self-esteem when they inevitably fall short.
- Mental Health Risks: Women have increasingly high expectations put on them by so many people: society, their families, their husbands, their kids, other women. So this is just creating another layer of expectations for them to meet, which, however unrealistic, will make women guilty that they are not meeting these standards.
- Perpetuation of Gender Stereotypes: Rosado says that this aesthetic reinforces outdated gender stereotypes, which can hinder any progress we may have made toward gender equality. She says that this perpetuation suggests a woman's primary value lies in only her domestic abilities. This way of thinking can be incredibly damaging to her sense of worth and potential.
This trending topic continues to open up a wider conversation on what it means to be a woman in today's society. If we were to rewind 60-70 years to the 1950's or 1960's, then this would be a commonality. But in today's modern world, women are already expected to do so much on top of being a homemaker, and this trend may be only adding to that.
Who is Nara Smith?
www.instagram.com
Nara Smith was essentially deemed the mom of the tradwife trend, based on her Tiktok claim to fame for creating outlandishly fresh, "from scratch" meals in full glam and a gown at six in the morning. Smith is only 23 years old, but is already a mom to three children, stepmom to another child, wife, model, content creator, and homemaker. Her husband, Lucky Blue Smith, is also a Tumblr "It Boy" turned model. They married each other quite young, and immediately started having children to start a family. The two now live in Texas, but previously lived in L.A. and Germany (where Nara's family is from).
Smith started off with rather simple recipes like easy Mediterranean dishes, but the more followers she gained, the progressively more difficult she made her dinners and the more elaborate gowns she wore. It became clear that she was going to play into this "tradwife" culture as much as possible.
Why does she live this lifestyle?
Grace O'Driscoll
While I've come to enjoy this content, it can definitely be bit jarring when it's noon on a Sunday and I still haven't cooked breakfast — and definitely not from scratch. And although Smith may have multiple nannies or family members watching her kids while she films all of this, her content becomes much more relatable when you realize that it stems from her having debilitating eczema that is caused by what she eats so she cooks from scratch to prevent that. So although Smith's recipes have gotten more and more elaborate and untouchable, it takes a sweeter tone when you realize that she's cooking from scratch in order to give her and her family a healthy lifestyle that doesn't cause her skin to flair up.
I know from experience, having eczema myself, some of the products in America can be particularly unhealthy and modified so it makes complete sense that she would want to protect herself — and her skin — from that. Especially since, her parents are from South Africa and Germany, where the food is a bit more healthy and less processed.
Is there a positive impact when it comes to tradwives?
While this trend has its implications, there are many who say that — like any fad on social media — it has to be taken with a grain of salt. You have to view it as fiction, because that's partly what it is. There aren't many average people who have the ability and resources to wake up before a 9-5 to make three meals from scratch in a full face of makeup and dress — it's simply unrealistic.
So, if you take tradwife videos as fiction — like most reality shows — then you're able to take a step back and enjoy it for what it is: content and inspiration. In the case of Smith, she's a stunningly gorgeous woman with a sweet family and a penchant for recreating complicated and elaborate meals. You can either ignore it, or enjoy it! I can definitely say that I decided to make a few of Smith's recipes myself...they were failures, but I still tried!
The point is, this content can be fun! And as someone who's watched far more videos than I'd like to admit, I've definitely seen a ton of moments that are so outlandish and entertaining that I have to wonder if Smith is trolling us. So, I present to you five moments where Nara Smith went so tradwife that I'm not sure what's real and what's fake.
Nara Smith Makes Her Own Cheese
One of the first times I came across Nara Smith was when she made grilled cheese. I remember thinking, "Oh that's great that she makes her own bread — how cute." Then she began to curdle and cook her own cheese, and I was fascinated immediately. This isn't your average home-cooked meal, this is a tradwife home-cooked meal. With fresh baked bread and cheese for her toddlers upon request.
Nara Cooks A Mediterranean Meal In A Gown
This next video came on my FYP, and I realized that she has to be playing into this narrative that people have created of her: the picture perfect "tradwife." And it's smart! In fact, it's a genius marketing tactic. People are already talking about how crazy she is for getting glammed up to cook from scratch, so why not make it even crazier? Honestly, I love it. The more unattainable it is, the less guilty I feel for not being able to cook at all most days. The more the lore intertwines with reality, the more digestible it becomes.
Nara Smith Cooks Crepe In Chanel
Only Nara Smith could make home-made Nutella and crepes in a full Chanel Ready-To-Wear outfit that costs upwards of $20,000. In this video, she makes her own home-made Nutella with hazelnuts that she roasted and cooked herself. Then she proceeds to make the crepe from scratch as well. Let's hope she didn't leave a scratch on her Chanel outfit, because that's an expensive mistake. But then again, with her over 9 million followers, she can probably afford it!
Nara Smith Makes Home-Made Bubblegum
In typical Nara Smith fashion, she makes her own bubblegum! I didn't even know this was possible (a phrase I constantly utter when watching her videos), but it's fun to think about doing. It seems relatively easy, and I'd imagine it's quite yummy! This is an unhinged moment that people have been loving to recreate! BRB, adding the ingredients to my cart right now...
Lucky Smith Makes Sunscreen
In this incredibly unhinged moment, Nara has her husband make sunscreen from scratch... that's right. Sunscreen. While this may be fun to watch, dermatologists have come out to say how very dangerous and irresponsible this is to do yourself. This video has to be one of her most unhinged and controversial videos, which occurred after she made her own toothpaste in a separate video. Let's keep to the FDA approved ones for now, folks!
So what do you think? Is Nara being genuine, or is this all a silly internet trend she's just playing into? While I haven't decided for myself...I'll definitely still be watching!
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Header image via Gonzalo Marroquin/Getty Images for REVOLVE
