10 Tips To Boost Your Confidence In Your 30s And Beyond

There's no shame in realizing you're feeling lonely, but it's also important to identify when that loneliness morphs into isolation. "Even though many might be experiencing the same feelings, that doesn't mean they are reaching out for support," Kelman says. "Many are not feeling enough strength to reach out to others or feel like they are being a burden so they reason alone with their feelings."

"It's also become more evident as our reliance on digital communication has grown, sometimes leaving us more connected online but feeling less understood and less connected in more meaningful, in-person ways," Dr. Stratyner adds. And then there's the social expectation of it all. "Many people tend to hide their loneliness because they feel shame or embarrassment about it. This can make it even harder to open up and connect with others who might be feeling the same way. The more we keep these feelings to ourselves, the more it reinforces the isolation, even though we all experience it in varying forms."

"It is hard to see light when things feel dark, and many go inward to deal with their feelings," Kelman points out. "Many are so burdened by their feelings that they might not feel capable to care for those around them or to show up and be present for others."

And just like Dr. Gilboa says, we're looking for true connection, not just surface-level friendships. But how can we make true social connection? Here's what they suggest.

1. A good friend shows care and empathy for the people around them.

If you care for the people around you, there's a very good chance others will want to be your friend. "People that show empathy toward others are very attractive qualities as it shows that one has the capacity to care for others and be present for them," Kelman says. "Those that are gregarious and selfless can be quite appealing as well. Those that are self-involved tend to repel others rather than attract."

Focusing on others instead of yourself can be easier said than done, but the it's definitely worth it. "People are drawn to those who show genuine care and understanding," Dr. Stratyner agrees.

​2. A good friend is reliable and trustworthy.

Our inner circle is going to be made up of people who know us inside and out, but it's unlikely someone will reach that level of emotional intimacy unless you really trust them. "In friendship people rate reliability, honesty and trustworthiness more highly [than romantic relationships]," Dr. Gilboa says.

​3. People are attracted to humor.

I'm sure we can all think of someone who never fails to make us laugh. And being the funny friend can mean a lot of things: you know how to poke fun at yourself or you don't take things too seriously (unless they need to be taken seriously, of course). But that doesn't mean making other people the butt of mean jokes.

"A good sense of humor helps foster a positive, lighthearted atmosphere, making interactions feel enjoyable and memorable," Stratyner says. "Plus, everyone loves to laugh."

​4. You need to be a good listener.

No one wants to be talked at and never listened to. After all, we do have two ears and one mouth! But simply nodding your head and zoning out won't cut it. "People appreciate feeling truly heard," Dr. Stratyner says. "This demonstrates respect, interest, and a willingness to connect on a deeper level."

"Be a great listener without asserting your own views or agenda," Kelman adds. "Be available, vulnerable and present. Ask those around you how they are and truly listen to how they feel. Be open and direct and most of all, be a constant. Nothing better than knowing that you will be there for all things."

So engage with what your friends are saying and, even better, remember it later!

5. A good friend is generous.

Is there a better time to talk about generosity than Thanksgiving? Be generous with your time, resources, and your heart — but don't worry, that doesn't mean you have to let someone else steam roll you. After all, a good friend also won't take advantage of you!

"Giving to others and the community are wonderful traits and habits that are very attractive to others and may draw people in," Kelman says. "People want to be around people that give and are easy-going in their interactions with individuals and the world around them."

​6. New friends are attracted to positivity.

When things feel dark, new friends will be attracted to someone who can make the world feel a little lighter. "People are often attracted to those who can find the silver lining, stay hopeful, and spread good vibes, especially in challenging situations," Dr. Stratyner says.

That's not to say you can never have bad days or process things like disappointment and grief. It just means you aren't ruled by them. (Listen, as an Enneagram 4, I'm talking to myself!)

Ok, you might be thinking, this is great but what do I do with this information? Here are some easy, actionable steps to take if you want to make new friends.

1. Understand why you're feeling lonely will help you address the real problem.

"First is to get an understanding of the loneliness and where it is coming from...finding community too soon may cause an increase in loneliness even while being surrounded by others," Kelman recommends.

You can't reach a solution if you don't know what the real problem is. I realized since I work from home, I need to do better about leaving the apartment, and my favorite way to spend an afternoon is coworking with a friend at a coffee shop.

​2. Finding new hobbies will connect you with similar people.

I met some of my best friends through a big movie group, which means when I have a meme or a piece of news to fangirl over, I know exactly who to contact. "Find activities that ignite you, find like minded individuals with whom to connect," Kelman adds. "Join a book club, pick up a new sport or hobby, but again, trying to immerse yourself too soon may not have any impact on the lonely feelings."

"The antidote to loneliness is social connection — true connection that paves the way for belonging," Dr. Gilboah says. "Talking to people to learn what interests and values are shared will open the door for the types of relationships that become community."

​3. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there.

Listen. If you only ever order takeout and watch Netflix, you'll simply never make new connections. You gotta get after it! "Look for community events, clubs, or hobby groups that align with your interests, whether book clubs, sports leagues, or volunteering opportunities," Dr. Stratyner says. "Being around people with shared passions makes it easier to start conversations and find common ground."

​4. And don't be afraid to reach out first.

For some reason, we've decided that reaching out first (or double texting) means we're needy and insufferable. This is simply not the case because who doesn't want to know they were thought of!! Plus, there's a good chance that if you're overthinking every little detail, other people are too.

"Reach out, even in small ways, to those around us who may be feeling the same," says Dr. Gilboah. "Loneliness often leads to rumination - the act of dwelling on or spiraling downward through negative thoughts. Ruminating can cause further isolation and distracts us from the people and stimuli around us."

​5. Be present when you're finally with people.

When you do make special connections, it's super important to make sure you're offering your full attention. "Showing up emotionally and physically makes them feel valued and heard, strengthening your bond," Dr. Stratyner says. She also recommends checking in to remind them you're there, and genuinely celebrating their wins (which, separately, is definitely a sign of being a girls' girl). "If a friend is going through a tough time, offer to help in any way you can," she adds. "Sometimes, simply acknowledging their struggle and offering your time can make all the difference."

"The best news about friendship is that Gen Z values authenticity above just about any other factor in friendship," Dr. Gilboah says. "Gathering the courage to be your true self and [mixing] that with empathetic listening will make you a sought after friend."

1997: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr.'s First Introduction

Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. officially met while they were working on the set of I Know What You Did Last Summer, as reported by People. That's something I never really considered back then so this news makes my heart sing! I can't even begin to tell you how much I love watching it even though it's a killer flick.

1999: Sarah Makes a Quick Appearance in She's All That

January 2000: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr.'s First Date

The funny thing about their first date is that they weren't actually planning on going on one. They were just friends at the time and a last-minute cancellation turned into something more. Sarah told People Now, " "We were friends for a very long time. We'd had many dinners before. And we were supposed to go with someone else, and the third person didn't make it out and we decided to still go," she recalled.

April 2001: Their Accidental First Date Leads to an Engagement

Fate must've known something Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. didn't because they ended up getting engaged during the spring of 2001. ABC News shared that they announced the news during Gellar's birthday party.

September 2002: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. Make It Official

April 2009 — September 2009: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. Enter Parenthood

In 2009 Sarah Michelle and Freddie Prinze Jr. not only announced they were preparing to welcome their first child, but they later did just that. Their daughter Charlotte Grace Prinze was born right before summer ended and we can only imagine how overjoyed the couple was.

April 2012: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. Announce Their Second Pregnancy

Three years after announcing they were expecting their first child, People found out the couple were ready to expand with the announcement of their second pregnancy. A source reportedly said, "They love their little girl more than anything in the world and know that love will only multiply."

September 2012: Sarah Michelle Gellar Gives Birth To a Son

September 2017: The Couple Celebrates 15 Years of Marriage

Time flies when you're having fun love each other which brings a smile to my face when thinking about Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr.

Sarah actually shared a touching video on Instagram that perfectly captured the happy couple throughout the years. Each photo in the video includes the year it was taken which really puts their relationship into perspective.

November 2019: Freddie Prinze, Jr. Opens Up About His Love For Cooking

It's long been rumored that women are the only ones who enjoy cooking, but that's not the case for Sarah Michelle Gellar. Freddie Prinze, Jr. told People in 2019 that he's the one who throws down in the kitchen. "It's never a hassle for me to cook dinner because I like it," he freely admitted.

This is so similar to my household because I know how to cook enough to survive, but I prefer to let my S.O. plan our meals. Sorry, not sorry!

October 2022: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. Are All About Their Kids Enjoying Their Youth

If you think this couple wants their children actively on social media, think again. She opened up about one of the rules she and Freddie have in place that seem worlds away from what's considered the 'norm.' "Our rules are probably stricter than most. Our kids don't have social media," she told So Mini Ways, Yahoo's Parenting series.

I know some people feel that kids should have access to things, but I'm on the fence about it now that I have a toddler. I remember what it's like having unlimited and unchecked access to the internet so I'm not sure if I'd want my kids to come across some of the things I did.

It may be controversial, but I applaud Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. for making this decision.

January 2023: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. Hit the Red Carpet for Wolf Pack

September 2023: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. Celebrate 21 Years of Married Life

I can't believe I'm typing this, but Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. celebrated 21 years of marriage last year. That means this couple has been going strong for two decades!

Sarah took to Instagram again to celebrate their love with a throwback picture from their wedding day on Instagram and my jaw is still on the floor.

If you need more proof that the couple are still very much in love, here's a more recent pic that Sarah shared on Instagram from earlier in the year. She's "Still celebrating and spoiling" Freddie years later, and I think it goes without saying that he loves it there.

Sigh the bar has been set HIGH, and I can't wait to see how they continue to grow with time.

November 2024: Freddie Prinze, Jr. Reveals The One Celebrity Experience They're "Good At Avoiding"

Despite the fact that paparazzi love to see (and often follow) celebrity couples, Freddie just revealed how he and Sarah have been able to keep things low-key. When Oldish's podcast co-host Randy Spelling asked how they stay out of the public — and how intentional they have to be to keep a low profile — Freddie said it's "by choice," and that "you can control it to a certain degree."

"I don't know how deliberate [others] are in trying to avoid that BS," he said on the podcast. "I know how easy it's been for us because I don't go anywhere. I don't go to parties. People don't see Sarah and I out and about at the popular places. We have our restaurants that we like, and they're not super trendy in places where paparazzi hang out. So we're good at avoiding it."

Talking to Vanity Fair for her newest film Lee, Kate Winslet revealed one project she wishes fans asked about more is Iris. The 2001 film stars Kate as a young Iris Murdoch against Judi Dench's older counterpart. And for Kate, nothing was more terrifying than working with such a wonderful actress.

"People don’t really ask me about Iris. It’s such a delicate film," she says. "It was the first thing I had done after having my daughter. Going to work with a baby, I’m playing Iris Murdoch, looking to Judi Dench’s older Iris Murdoch — I was sh—ting myself."

Considering how nervous I get when I meet my heroes, I can only imagine what it was like to meet Dame Judi Dench. Talk about a dream! Another film Kate loves is Revolutionary Road, and not just because she got to reunite with Leonardo DiCaprio.

"The thing that people say is, 'You got to work with Leo again.' Then they go off on the whole Leo tangent, which I totally understand," she says of the film, which follows an ambitious couple who find themselves trapped in the reality of 1950s suburbia. "But Revolutionary Road — f—king hell, it just knocked us all sideways. Unbelievably difficult material. I was very proud of that film and what Leo and I were able to create as Frank and April. It was so brutal."

The process for getting Lee into the world sounds equally brutal, considering Kate started working on it over a decade ago. As producer, Kate tells Vanity Fair she doesn't mind the fact she's done more for the film than if she only had an acting credit. "That has felt very necessary for this film. But it’s also just really important to me," she says. "It’s important to me that people know that it’s out there and might feel compelled to go and see it."

Because it turns out, commercial success or stardom on its own doesn't actually help your movie get made! "It doesn’t matter who you are," she says. "No one’s going to go, 'Oh, I’ll just back that pony because she was in Titanic.' It doesn’t happen that way, and I never expected that. That’s really important to say."

"I've gotten older and I’ve learned more and felt more confident in myself about whether or not I could actually do it," she adds. "It’s not something I would’ve done had I not felt so passionately about the subject, and Lee was just—she wouldn’t let me go."