10 Creative Kits for Kids That Will Up-Level Your Homeschooling

If you're running out of creative ideas to keep kids engaged and off screens for the day, let someone else do the thinking for you (take at least *one* thing off your list!). Here are our favorite subscription boxes for kids to tinker with and explore while out of school until TBD.

KiwiCo Crates $17 and up/month (all ages)

Choose from Panda Crates for babies to Maker Crates for ages 14 to 104 and everyone in between. Founded by a mom of three, KiwiCo blends STEAM ideas with art-driven projects that are all developmentally appropriate. Monthly projects include DIYs like building a pinball machine and a chomping mechanical dinosaur costume.

Little Passports $13 and up/month (ages 3-9)

We can't travel around the world right now (sad face) but kids can still learn about the world and its cultures. Little Passports sends a mini suitcase filled with activities related to the states that make up the U.S., countries around the world, and topics like oceans and music. There is also a science-themed box for children who love to experiment.

Sago Mini Box $19/month (ages 3-5)

Kids score a little figurine with each Sago Mini box and then the material to build their little world. Fairy tales, airplanes and this pet cafe are just a few of the projects your preschooler will get each month.

Raddish Kids $24/month (ages 4 -14)

Little chefs will love this kit that mixes math, science and lessons on culture. Kids get a monthly cooking kit with seasonal and global themes, like Summer Luau and Taste of Thailand, learn culinary skills, create new recipes, and collect an apron patch and kitchen tool. Raddish Kids donated 50,000 Raddish kits to families as quarantine life went into effect and is donating all proceeds of their $5 Vintage e-Kit for COVID-19 Relief to #ChefsforAmerica program.

Bitsbox $17/month (ages 7 and up)

Kids can create their own apps (that really work!) with simple coding projects delivered in their Bitsbox. Apps can run on any computer, tablet, or smartphone and kids can customize the app to add their own signature features.

Girls Can! Crate $28/month (ages 5-10)

Kids can learn about amazing female role models like Frida, Malala, and RBG while creating art and science projects in this fun and educational crate.

Orange Art Box $36/month (ages 5-12)

Art lovers will have so much fun with the creative fixings in Orange Art Box. Each one features a main project with smaller projects (think bugs, superheroes, dinos and more) for hours of play.

Owl Crate Jr. $28/month (ages 8-12)

Owl Crate is more than a monthly book club. Each crate delivers a "magical" delivery with a middle grade novel, goodies from the author, and three to five playthings built around a monthly theme that encourages curiosity, creativity, and imagination.

MEL Science $35/month (ages 9-14)

These chemistry kits, like galaxy in a bottle, rainbow crystals and painting with light, come with a VR headset and chemistry starter kit and are pretty amazing (and safe). MEL Kids has science kits too for ages 5 to 10 at $25/month.

Sensory TheraPLAY $40/month (ages 5-9)

Therapy meets sensory play in these wonderful kits designed by an occupational therapist who worked with children with autism and developmental delays. Monthly boxes include products recommended both by therapists and parents and help kids self-regulate while having fun. Teen and adult boxes are now available too.

Have you discovered a kit you love while in quarantine? Share with us @BritandCo!

Whether you’re the cool aunt or uncle who has no idea what The Youths like to get as gifts these days, or a parent who knows exactly what your kids want (the endless hints are not so much hints anymore!), tracking down gifts for kids can still be a big challenge. Let our guide to the best gifts for kids inspire your shopping sprees for whoever you’re gifting this year – we’ve got something for all ages.

Amazon

Littlest Pet Shop Playset

Turns out the Littlest Pet Shop is still a total must-have! This playset comes with two adorable pets and over 20 accessories that your kiddo can move around to customize their own little world.

Target

Target Toy Checklane

This interactive Target checkout counter will be very familiar to your little one if they're part of a Target family! It has options to browse store shelves, ring up play items, and pay with pretend money for the whole experience.

Amazon

Wild Republic Amazon Exclusive 2024 Holiday Bear

How cute is this sweater-bearing bear? We honestly want one for ourselves. This darling plushie makes the perfect bedtime snuggle buddy for the holiday season!

Target

Syncfun Play Kitchen Toys

If the kid you're shopping for isn't quite ready to cook and bake, they'll certainly learn the ways of the kitchen with this playset. It includes a coffee maker, toaster, and a blender, along with 2 knives, 2 spoons, 2 forks, 4 foods, 2 cups, 2 teacups, 2 plates, 2 saucers, and 2 "toasts" so their imagination can run wild.

Amazon

Ninja Blast Brain & Memory Game Cube

For kiddos in the 6 to 12 year-old range, this light-up, noise-making game cube comes equipped with tons of one- and two-player games to keep them occupied, sans TV or phone screen.

Amazon

Harper The Pig Weighted Comfort Plush

This cuddly stuffed animal helps "lower stress and boost calm" with a weight of 4.5 pounds to help anyone feel grounded and relaxed, even adults! Its soft fabric and cute, welcoming face will certainly satisfy any anxiousness. You can choose from Harper The Pig, Frankie The Cat, Charlie The Puppy, and more characters!

Amazon

Lego Despicable Me 4 Minions & Gru's Family Mansion

The Despicable Me franchise has a hold on us all, and for the kiddos who can't get enough of The Minions or Legos, this build-it-yourself building block set will definitely have them excited and enriched with the challenge of constructing Gru's famous mansion.

Amazon

Bestamtoy 36-Piece Wooden Sorting Stacking Rocks & Stones

Building blocks have come a long way from the basic triangular prisms and rectangles of our youth. This creative set emulates rocks and stones for a unique play experience since your kiddo can stack 'em in endless ways!

Amazon

Fisher-Price Learn & Serve Coffee Cafe Playset

If you know the kid you're shopping for watches mom and dad prep their coffee every morning, let them in on the fun (non-caffeinated, of course) with this play-espresso machine! They'll be whipping up their very own lattes and cappuccinos in no time, and the 'rents will undoubtedly have a great time watching them get to 'work'.

Anthropologie

Mon Ami Christmas Joyful Tree Kids Plush Toy

This cheerful tree plush rings in the Christmas season in the most adorable way possible. It's "soft, snuggly, and full of personality" to become your little pal's perfect companion!

Target

Syncfun Marble Run Set

With a whopping 196 pieces to play with and customize, this set is full of surprises and endless ways to race marbles. It's the gift that keeps on giving, since your kiddo can change the track day after day.

Target

Tonies Peppa Pig Toniebox Starter Set

This squishable speaker pairs up with Peppa Pig to play 9 different audible stories, songs, and more interactive sounds for your little one to listen to. It offers a great, screen-free way to keep them enriched and entertained throughout the day!

Anthropologie

Mon Ami Monsieur Croissant

This adorable animated croissant plush will inspire joy (and comfort) for any kiddo.

Bombas

Bombas Toddler Minions Gripper Calf Sock 4-Pack Gift Box

If they're totally crazy for the Minions franchise, they can now rock their favorite characters every single day. This sock gift box includes four different playful designs, plus you could even snag them in adult sizes to match!

Amazon

Areaware Cubebot

This puzzle-y friend can contort into dozens of different poses for your little one to play around with. If they're not too big on the puzzle part, this colorful guy still makes a pretty epic action figure!

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Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

This post has been updated.

I’ve triedtons of different food trends in my day. From dumping chili oil on ice cream to concocting my very own Sleepy Girl Mocktail, nothing I’ve eaten measures up to the sheer weirdness we saw go viral on social media this year (major side eye to Dua Lipa’s pickle Diet Coke).

These are the top 5 most ridiculous TikTok-viral food trends of 2024 that left us questioning whether they really should’ve gone viral in the first place.

@claudiaeatsgood chamoy pickles are so good😋😩❤️ @Bussin Snacks #chamoypickle#chamoy#chamoypicklekit#bussinsnacks#takis#fruitrollup#mukbang#asmr#asmrmukbang#chamoypicklemukbang#juicy#pickle#mexicancandy♬ original sound - Claudia💕

1. Chamoy Pickles

People couldn't quit it with the chamoy pickles (AKA chickles) this year. I never would've guessed that chamoy, a condiment made from dried fruits, chilies, sugar, and lime juice, would be slathered atop the sourest pickles money can buy.

But the food trend didn't stop at just chamoy – many snackers stuffed their pickles with everything from the likes of Hot Cheetos, Takis, and Fruit Roll-Ups. What?!

This insanely sour, tangy treat kickstarted what the internet's coined as the 'Red 40 Diet', which certainly cannot be medically advised.

If you care for your GI tract, this food trend is 100% worth skipping and leaving behind in 2024.

@dualipaofficial

What do we call her?

♬ original sound - Dua Lipa

2. Pickle + Jalapeño-Infused Diet Coke

Diet Coke, pickle juice, and jalapeño juice = all the ingredients needed to concoct Dua Lipa's controversial 2024 drink. She loves it, but I on the other hand, do not.

Now, don't get me wrong: I love a good unexpected flavor combo, but gulping down a simultaneous dose of both pickle juice and jalapeño juice was not tasty to me whatsoever.

This trend even sparked a slew of Sonic diners to start ordering their soft drinks with pickles – but as divisive as this trend can be ("Don’t knock it till you try it," TikToker Mississippi Memaw told Food and Wine), it's just flat out weird.

@logagm

New cucumber recipe 🚨

♬ original sound - Logan

3. Cucumber Salad

If you bought a mandolin slicer recently, you might as well admit you're a victim of the TikTok-viral cucumber salad trend that made its rounds this year.

"Sometimes you need to eat an entire cucumber," TikTok user @logagmsounds off in the intro of every single one of his cucumber salad videos. And thus, the food trend was born.

It felt like I couldn't go a day on TikTok without seeing at least 5 recipes for a damn cucumber salad. When it comes down to it, I can appreciate the novelty (and taste) of this trend, but not the oversaturation. I'm gonna eat an entire cucumber one day, and get so tired of it the next. New innovations in 2025, please!

@kylekruegerr Would you try these?😂 #foodreview#seagrapes#food#review#tastetest#weirdfood♬ original sound - Kyle Krueger

4. Sea Grapes

It was like people wanted to eat the weirdest, grossest things in 2024. I can't blame 'em, especially if it's for clicks and views. But this food trend in particular literally made me want to gag – and I was only watching people eat through a screen (any fellow ASMR fans out there?).

They don't look like they're supposed to be crunchy, but they are. Sea grapes grow from aquatic plants and are filled with essentially what is a "salty liquid." They burst in the mouth when you eat them (one TikToker called them 'edible Orbeez'). Yuck.

@julieta.asmr I figured it out!! Blooper at the end 🥴 #asmr#asmrcommunity#asmrtiktoks#asmrvideo#asmrsounds#asmreating#asmrfood#asmrfyp#asmrmukbang#mukbang#asmreatingsounds♬ original sound - Julieta ASMR 🍒

5. Exploding Candies

The final (and especially weird) food trend I propose we leave behind in 2024 is these dang exploding jelly candies. They also made their rounds on ASMR TikTok, and I truly cannot stand to watch a single video featuring them.

First off, they look so annoying to consume. The fruit-shaped jellies are contained in a thin layer of plastic that's meant to burst open when you sink your teeth into it, prompting you to slurp out the sweetness inside. But what irks me the most is the fact that many people trying them can't even break the seal.

I'd rather watch someone make a simple PB&J than go to town on these microplastic-infused candies.

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Though some people are looking forward to the carefree days of summertime, parents are finding themselves wondering if there are any actually fun (and easy) activities for kids that don't necessarily include screen time. Though plenty of us joke about binge watching our favorite TV shows, a survey conducted by Elmer's founds that kids spend on average 13 hours in front of a screen. It doesn't seem like a big deal for us, but kids' brains are still developing and it doesn't take much for them to get overstimulated.

As a mom who started noticing a shift in some of my son's behavior after introducing a tablet, I decided to conduct my own experiment by not allowing him to have it for a week. What I found is that he's interested in independent play for a time, but he also looks forward to other activities throughout the day. Why? Well, the Elmer's survey also discovered that kids get bored in 33 minutes. This can be difficult for parents whether they go to the office every day, stay at home with their kids, or any combination of the two during these developmental years.

However, this is by no means a plea for totally eliminating screen time. It's more of a suggestion to encourage fun summer activities that spark kids' imaginations. Since I'm still a first time mom who's trying to figure out a healthy balance, I feel fortunate to have spoken with amazing sources who know a thing or two about introducing play that doesn't rely on screen time:

  • Fellow mom and content creator, Kate Bast
  • Pediatric speech-language pathologists and founders of Wee Talkers, Carly Tulloch and Katie Sterbenz

Want to learn more about the effects prolonged screen time has on kids and how you can introduce them to play that doesn't revolve around it? Keep scrolling for all the info you need to help you decide which activities for kids will take priority at home this summer!

What are the possible side effects of prolonged screen time in children?

Image via Ksenia Chernaya/Pexels

As convenient as it may seem to place our little ones in front of a TV screen while we try to get work done, relying on it for prolonged hours on a daily basis can cause some side effects that Tulloch and Sterbenz want parents to be aware of.

"We encourage parents to consider what kids are missing out on if they are frequently engaging in prolonged screen time use," they said. "Children younger than 2 years need hands-on exploration and social interaction with trusted caregivers to develop their cognitive, language, motor, and social-emotional skills."

Based on their experience, a over-reliance on screen time may lead to:

  • Sleep problems
  • Reading fewer books
  • Less time with family and friends
  • Not enough outdoor or physical activity
  • Weight problems
  • Difficulty regulating emotions
  • Less time learning other ways to relax and have fun
  • Language delays

How can parents tell if their child has too much access to TV or tablets?

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels

Like I mentioned before, my S.O. and I noticed how frustrated my son would get when the tablet died. He'd also get upset if we would tell him it's time to take a break from it to do virtually anything else. I honestly thought I was losing my mind for feeling like the tablet was causing all this, but Carly and Katie have since confirmed my suspicion was correct.

"It’s common for toddlers and preschoolers to express frustration when a parent turns off the TV or tablets, but if your child is having significant tantrums related to transitioning away from screens, that’s one sign we would look for," they indicated. "We would also look at things like, is your child no longer wanting to do things they used to love to participate in? Coloring, playing outside, going on an errand, playing with toys, etc.?"

While my son will play with other things, my main concern was the increased temper tantrums, sleep issues, and potty training regression. However, there's one more key thing Tulloch and Sterbenz suggest paying attention to.

"Another sign that your child has too much access to screens, is related to their attention span. While it’s absolutely true that a toddler's attention span is not stellar (and that’s normal), they should be able to attend to preferred tasks and activities. If you feel like your child is just moving from toy to toy, without engaging much, it might be a good idea to look at their screen time use."

How can parents begin limiting screen time so that their kids engage in other play?

Image via Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels

The good news is that the side effects of screen time aren't permanent, but it does involve us as parents being willing to make pivotal changes. Tulloch and Sterbenz said, "We encourage parents to make a family media plan (knowing that they can reassess this whenever it’s not serving them anymore or as their kids grow)."

When thinking about how you want to encourage a healthier relationship with screen time and active play that features hands-on activities for kids, they suggest becoming clear about what will work best for your kids and family by using Dr. Jenny Radesky's 3Cs:

  • Content: Quality screen time matters. The rest of our tips in this post will help you choose quality options.
  • Child: Pick what’s right for your child. You know them better than anyone else does!
  • Context: How you interact with your child around their watching experience matters, too. The more you can watch with them, the better.

What I've found that my son loves is a good routine. When he knows what to expect, we've noticed a decrease in his temper tantrums. This is actually something Tulloch and Sterbenz believe is one of the steps parents should take.

"Picking a predictable time of day can be really helpful as well. We don’t like to be too rigid, but at the same time, we notice that our kids seem to thrive when they have a predictable rhythm to their day. Pick a time of day that you will watch shows then stick to that time. Maybe that’s in the morning, while you make breakfast and get everyone ready for the day. Or maybe it’s in the evening when you’re busy making dinner and packing lunches."

The main thing is not to become super strict, or even hard on yourself, because you believe you've done something terrible by allowing your child to watch a ton of TV or spend time on their tablets. You're not a terrible parent just because life is busy and you've been trying to find some sort of balance.

"Remember that any time is okay and what works for your family doesn't have to be right for anyone else. Just remember to stick to your screen time boundary once it’s been set. It will help both you and your child get into a consistent, predictable routine and decrease the screen time struggles," Tulloch and Sterbenz said.

How can parents deal with potential backlash from their kids?

Image via Keira Burton/Pexels

It's time for the hard truth: It's possible that your kids will give you major pushback when you first begin limited screen time. If you can imagine how hard it is to change a habit you've developed, then think about it from your child's perspective. They've gotten used to something and now they're being told their access to it will be different. It's a lot to take in. So, what can do you to prepare for it?

"Expect it and mentally prepare so you’re not surprised when it happens. It’s very normal for kids to express their frustration around this. You can validate their experience by saying something like, “Yes, it’s so hard to turn it off.” You can even add more to it if they are older… “Screens can keep our brains wanting more and more. It’s best for our brains and bodies to have a mix of activities," Tulloch and Sterbenz said.

Do you want to know what helps my S.O. and I? Repetition and patience. By remaining firm about boundaries we're setting around screen time, we've gradually noticed our son doesn't protest as much when we tell him it's time to put the tablet away.

Tulloch and Sterbenz said, "The more confident you are in the boundary you’ve set, the better success you’ll have. Just keep at it, and know it will get easier as you consistently hold the boundary. They will eventually adjust to whatever boundaries you set if you are consistent with it."

What summer activities do you recommend parents introduce to their kids?

Image via Ron Lach/Pexels

Are you ready to learn more about all the fun activities for kids you can introduce? Tulloch and Sterbenz, along with Kate Bast, have tons of suggestions for you!

Specifically, Tulloch and Sterbenz said, "Words are everywhere! We really encourage parents to follow their child’s lead, and see what they seem interested in, but if you need some inspo, these are some of our favorite summer activities:

  • Water play is so fun–if you have a water table, that’s great. Or just fill up a big cup of water, grab a paint brush and spray bottle and let them “paint” outside–the house, their cars, rocks, etc. with water.
  • Chalk is another easy win. Lots of early-literacy skills in this one! You can label what they draw, chat about what you’re creating, write the names of people in your family in rainbow colors, or list out the letters of the alphabet for them to jump to like a hopscotch.
  • Bubbles: This toy is a go-to for us when it comes to helping babies and toddlers communicate. A few reasons why bubbles are so great:
    • Bubbles captivate their attention
    • Many of the words said while playing with bubbles are easier for toddlers to copy, say, or sign
    • Bubbles encourage imitation skills (super important if your child isn’t saying words quite yet)
  • Reading books outside, or if it’s really hot where you live, build a fort indoors! Reading books with your little one is a great way to slowwww down a bit this summer. Positive experiences with books early on in life helps them to build a strong foundation for learning to read. In fact, nurturing a love for reading is one of the best things you can do for your child’s language development.
  • Magna-tiles (did you know they stick to garage doors?!) or any other block-type toy are fantastic! They offer so many learning opportunities like:
    • Constructive Play: An early play skill that sets the stage for pretend play. Constructive play develops problem-solving, fine motor skills, and creativity.
    • Vocabulary for Basic Location Words: As your child creates, they’ll understand and (eventually) use words like: on, off, out, top, in, next to, etc. Location words are so great for starting to combine words together.
    • Introduces Academic Concepts: Such as color, shape, sorting, patterns, etc. ⁣The basic Magna-tile packs consist of squares, small triangles, and larger triangles, and come in a variety of basic colors.

Here's How Kate Bast Relies on Elmer's to Have Screen-Free Fun With Her Daughter:

Image via Kate Bast For Elmer's Creations

Kate Bast

Bast knows what it's like trying to come up with activities that are fun, yet simple for little kids because she's a mom to a four year old and a four month old. She even wrote 115 Hacks and Hacktivities for Parents of Mini Humanslast year to help parents navigate life with kids, so she knows more than a few ways to make sure everyone is having fun sans a ton of screen time.

"Helping parents for the summer is just such a necessary thing," she said. This explains why her partnership with Elmer's works so well! She raved about how it feels natural to her because the brand is so well-loved and used by parents, making it accessible to anyone who's looking for fun activities for kids this summer. "It's been such an honor for me to be partnering with them [Elmer's]. They launched Elmer's Creations which is the epitome of using things you have at home to make really fun, simple, easy activities to do with you kids," she said.

She's also well aware of the challenges parents face when trying to keep their kids entertained. Her advice for parents who have a limited amount of time is to focus on activities that foster independence in kids. "A lot of these activities they can do at any age. They just require more parental involvement [the younger they are]," said Bast.

For parents who aren't sure where to start, Elmer's Creations makes it super easy to find ideas. "That's why Elmer's Creations is so amazing," said Bast. "You can go to their site and they'll have their ingredients list so you can kind of prep in advance and say, 'This week we have a whole day at home. I want to do an activity.'"

Overall she said parents can't go wrong with the activities that Elmer's Creations provides. "They'll be adding more things to do in the future so I highly recommend them. It's a free source," she exclaimed.

More Activities For Kids From Elmer's Creations

Image via Elmer's Creations

Watercolor Salt Art

If you're worried that you won't be able to have fun introducing Watercolor Salt Art to your child, think again. This is probably one of my favorite Elmer's activities for kids because it not only allows them to be creative, but they're also to engage in sensory play. It's something I've tried this with my son and it's become one of our favorite activities to do.

If this art-challenged mom can create simple shapes for her kid to pour salt on and later paint, anyone can have fun creating fun art to hang on their refrigerator.

Here's what you'll need for this activity:

  • 1 bottle (4 fl oz) Elmer’s White School Glue
  • Cardstock paper
  • Iodized salt
  • Watercolor paint
  • Paint brush
  • Water

Image via Elmer's Creations

Smoothing Soothing Glue Art

Already have your own little Picasso in the making at home? It sounds like you need to introduce them to Elmer's Smoothing Soothing Glue Art activity! It goes a step further than the Watercolor Salt Art's simplicity, but it's still something the entire family can enjoy!

Think of it like this: your kid will be able to use the negative space of the canvas you've given them to create their own abstract art.

Here's what you'll need for this activity:

  • 1 bottle (4 fl oz) Elmer’s White School Glue
  • Acrylic paint
  • Canvas
  • A straightedge (such as a ruler or squeegee)

Image via Elmer's Creations

Peelable Polish

This is one of the activities for kids I'm 100% sure my niece would love. She loves beauty-related things already and spends her time watching kid-friendly nail design videos when she's allowed to watch YouTube.

What makes this activity so great is that it doesn't involve drawing unless you count using your little one's nails as a blankl canvas. On second thought, that actually may be a great playtime hack! You can create an entire scenario that involves your little one going to their own personal salon!

Here's what you'll need for this activity:

  • 3 tbsp Elmer's White School Glue
  • 2-3 drops of acrylic paint
  • Small paint brush
  • Reusable plate or painter's palette
  • Stir stick
  • Measuring spoon
Bast's oldest daughter loves Elmer's Peelable Polish activity! "What I tend to do is have one structured, simple, easy activity for my oldest child that's 30 minutes," Bast said. "I've found that doing this kind of changes the whole morale of the afternoon for the family."

Image via Elmer's Creations

Mellow Mallow

There's just something satisfying about having something slimy and gooey in your hands when you're a kid. The only thing I can think is that this counts as another sensory play activity.

For my parents who have older kids, this Mellow Mallow activity is great if they've got an affinity for anything that normally would give you the ick. If the thought of allowing your older kid to make their own slime gives you the creeps, assure yourself that you'll be supervising and will know that it's nothing that's going to come alive as if it's something from Goosebumps.

Here's what you'll need for this activity:

  • 5 fl oz Elmer’s White School Glue
  • 3 tbsp Elmer’s Magical Liquid
  • 6.5 fl oz soft clay
  • 1/2 cup shaving foam*
  • Cookie cutter
  • Food coloring (optional)
  • Measuring cup
  • Measuring spoons
  • Bowl

*Parental supervision required

Image via Elmer's Creations

Clingies

Have you been thinking about adding a seasonal decal to a few of the windows in your home? Elmer's Creations has just the thing for you and your kids!

Get creative by literally designing your own window decals using Elmer's Glue and a few other supplies! Most of them can be found at home, which makes this one of the most inexpensive ways to create arts and crafts.

Here's what you'll need for this activity:

  • 3 tbsp Elmer's White School Glue
  • 8 drops food coloring
  • 3-4 drops of dish soap
  • Bowl
  • Paint brush
  • Measuring spoons
  • Sheet Protectors

Whether you have a little one who may be interested in creating their own slime or they want to spend 20-30 minutes painting, Elmer's Creations has the perfect creative activities for kids you can freely take advantage of. I'll actually be stocking up on glue today!

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Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

Lead image via cottonbro studio/Pexels

First loves are TOUGH — especially when you start to see all the red flags you missed along the way once it's over. If you've been dissecting your own early love stories by reading Reddit threads or chatting with your girlfriends about their own relationship experiences, just know this: you're not alone! The entire Brit + Co staff even found ourselves discussing the first person we ever fell in love with...and the recounts did not disappoint. From realizing 19 seemed to be a common age for our all-time worst relationships to understanding how our first love was probably not as ideal as we originally thought, it made us wonder why we couldn't pinpoint red flags back then.

Licensed Psychotherapist Prerna Menon, founder of Boundless, LCSW-PLLC and Licensed marriage and family therapist Joseph Cavins, LMFT have a few thoughts that have helped us decode the precarious time in our lives.

Here's why some of us ignored how awful our first love might've been

1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.

Savannah Dematteo

I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.

"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.

As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."

Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.

2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.

Keira Burton

While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."

Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.

Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."

3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.

Luis Zambrano

Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?

Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.

You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says

4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.

Adely

*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."

Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.

4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.

Pavel Danilyuk

Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.

Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.

I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."

5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.

Ketut Subiyanto

Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."

At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.

What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?

Andrea Piacquadio

First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."

I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.

"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.

Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.

Here are Menon's tips:

  • Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
  • Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.

Anastasia Nagibina

I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?

I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.

"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."

Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."

He wants you to consider these things:

  • Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
  • Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
  • Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.

Menon's final piece of advice is similar in that she encourages you to be "self-critical, self-aware, and self-nourishing." She doesn't want you to be afraid to be "clear and transparent about your expectations for the relationship" either. Though we weren't a fan of the outcomes of our first real romantic relationships, they've made us wiser. So, shout out to our first loves for being the worst because they've become our best learning lessons.

That's not all! We have even more helpful articles about relationships & family if you're looking for everything from celebrity couples to navigating hard conversations during the holidays.

No matter how many times I rewatch The Vampire Diaries, there's nothing like seeing a cast reunion — and the weekend of December 6, we finally got to see our three favorite Mystic Falls gals together again! Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King were just some of The Vampire Diaries cast members who reunited for Epic Con to chat all things Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline...but things took a turn in the middle of the interview when one of the backdrops almost fell on Nina!

Keep reading to see what happened during The Vampire Diaries cast reunion with Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King.

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Even after all these years, Bonnie and Caroline are still saving Elena #tvd #thevampirediaries #ninadobrev #candiceking #katgraham #elanagilbert #carolineforbes #bonniebennett #epiccons

As someone who's done plenty of interviews myself, I know how fast a situation can spiral — and this interview accident is crazy. While talking on stage about the show, one of the backdrops begins to lean forward, and right before it falls on top of Nina, Candice and Kat quickly move to push it in the opposite direction.

"I don't want to see any 'Bonnie saves the day' memes," Kat jokes, referencing the fandom's love for Bonnie consistently helping the group throughout the show's eight-season run. "I don't want to see it, I don't want to hear it!" You can also see a relieved Nina hug Candice before revealing she thought it was a spider!

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In addition to this "Bonnie saves the day" moment (sorry, Kat, I couldn't help it!), the internet went crazy when Nina posted a video of her, Candice, and Kat recreating a photo they took during season 1 — especially after rumors have circulated for years that Kat Graham was mistreated on The Vampire Diaries set.

While these rumors have never been outright confirmed, fans have paid very special attention to what Kat has said...especially when she confirmedshe was the lowest-paid cast member and cried over her natural hair after revealing she wasn't really allowed to have an afro while filming.

"Love you girls so much!!!!!! 🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️" Kat commented on Nina's post, while a fan added, "And now the rumors can definitely be ended 🫶🏼❤️." These women are so powerful and clearly love each other so much, and I will take any and every cast reunion we can get!

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When Brit + Co caught up with Ian Somerhalder, he also expressed how much he loved filming The Vampire Diaries. "Every single day it was a laugh," he says. "I mean we had to be serious, you're running from ghosts and vampires and stuff, and you know, someone makes a fart joke and a 130 people erupt in laughter, there's only so much you can run for your life."

And thank goodness, Ian confirms just how much fun the cast had! "We laughed, that's how we kept each other sane," he says. "I spent 8 years on the show and now it's [been] 15 years. It's my longest relationship."

"I cannot believe it's been 15 years," he continues. "And so everyone who's seen the show, watched the show, supported us — and me — in any way, shape, and form regarding the show, I thank you from the bottom of my heart."

What would your dream The Vampire Diaries reunion look like? Let us know on Facebook!