10 Spooky Date Ideas for You and Your Boo

With Halloween just days away, it’s time to nail down your plans for the frightful night. While costume parties and trick-or-treating are the traditional options for spending the evening with family and friends, it can also be a hauntingly fun date night for couples. Sure, you can spend the night doing something sweet together, like carving pumpkins or handing out candy, but this year, why not revel in the spooky spirit? Scroll on for 10 next-level scary date-night ideas for you and your boo. If anything, being scared will only give you an excuse to take comfort in each other’s arms. Now who said Halloween couldn’t be romantic? ;)

1. Haunted Houses: An oldie, but a goodie. Find the scariest haunted house in your state, and bring on the chills! (Photo via Sean MacEntee)

2. Corn Maze: Whether you’re going for a corn maze that’s in the shape of Taylor Swift’s head or you’ve got eyes on one filled with zombies and chainsaw-wielding monsters, there’s no way you can go wrong with this classic funtivity.

3. Scary Movie at a Drive-in Theater: Scary movies on your couch are one thing. But scary movies at a drive-in theater take horror to the next level. Check your local event spaces for special screenings of horror movie classics, and don’t forget the popcorn!

4. Picnic at a Graveyard: Just think of it like a regular picnic at the beach. Except, of course, you’re surrounded by the remains of people long gone. While the ambiance is great for a spooky night, don’t forget to be mindful (and respectful!) of where you’re at. Aka don’t do anything your great-great-grandmother wouldn’t approve of. (Photo via Wally Gobetz)

5. Amusement Park: In addition to special Halloween mazes throughout the parks, amusement parks also have a variety of characters let loose this time of year, so be sure to keep close to your date for “protection” purposes. Unless, of course, they’re the one clinging to you! (Photo via Amateur Photography by Michel)

6. Campfire Ghost Stories: Here’s a fun and cheap way to spend a Halloween night. Before the days of TV and computers, people got their scary story fixes from each other. Shocking, right? Exchanging ghost stories beside a campfire is not only romantic, but it’s also a great way to bond with your partner. (Photo via Jan Parri)

7. Murder-Mystery Dinner Party: A murder-mystery dinner party is the best excuse to be creative, dress up and have fun with a group of your closest friends. Besides, role-play scenarios always seem to bring out the most… interesting sides of people!

8. Zombie Walk: If you and your partner are into The Walking Dead, a zombie walk was made for you. It’s exactly what it sounds like… a bunch of people who love zombies, dressed up and walking around like them.

9. Escape Room: Escape room experiences are fully-immersive, real-life games where groups of people are given a puzzles, riddles and clues in order to find their way out of a room before the clock runs out. Some escape rooms keep it relatively tame, while others go extreme. No matter how brave — or scared — you are, you and your SO can find an experience that you both will enjoy.

10. Scare the Neighborhood Children: If you’re not into being scared, why don’t you do the scaring? There are a ton of fun and creative couples costumes that you and your partner can do. You know what they say: “the couple who scares together, stays together.”

What are your next-level spooky Halloween date ideas? Tell us in the comments!

Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris caused quite a stir at Elton John's Oscars afterparty, but for good reason! After dodging dating rumors for quite awhile, they dressed to impress and made their first public debut as a couple! Sophia even wore her best accessory — a mega-watt smile — that further confirms this blissful pair.

While some people love to know whencelebrity couples fell in love, the details about Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris' relationship have people wondering when this couple actually got together. Well, our wait is over because Sophia decided to open about what led to her romance with Ashlyn Harris and why certain rumors hold no merit!

Since we're clearly tuned in to this love story, here's everything you need to know about Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris's relationship!

Who is Sophia Bush?

Image via Robin L Marshall/Getty Images

Sophia Bush has had a lengthy career as an actress, and she's most recognized for her portrayal of Brooke Davis in the hit TV series One Tree Hill. She's also appeared in Nip/Tuck, Chicago Fire, Incredibles 2, and John Tucker Must Die. When she's not showing off her acting chops, she hosts the Drama Queens podcast alongside former One Tree Hill castmates Hilarie Burton and Bethany Joy Lenz!

Who is Ashlyn Harris?

Image via Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for W Magazine

Ashlyn Harris is a former U.S. soccer player who had a successful run — no pun intended — as a goalkeeper during the career. She also won the 2015 FIFA Women's World Cup in Canada and continued making an impressionable mark. However, she announced her retirementin 2022 and — per her Instagrampage — has gone on to become the Global Creative Advisor for Gotham FC and Adidas Football.

When did the dating rumors about Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris start?

Image via Frazer Harrison/Getty Images and Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

June 2023

Rumors about a possible connection between Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris swirled last summer when Cosmopolitanreported they were on a panel at Cannes Lion International Festival of Creativity. Sophia shared a pic of the two at the festival on Instagramand wrote, "Love you @ashlynharris24 and @sophieannkelly" towards the end of her caption.

A source told Page Six, "It’s very new...They are definitely a couple.” But, Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris didn't confirm or deny anything at that time.

When did Sophia Bush file for divorce from Grant Hughes?

Image via Leigh Vogel/Getty Images

August 2023

A couple of months after Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris were seen getting cozy together, Sophia filed for divorce from her former husband Grant Hughes. Peopleshared that they were only married for a little over a year — 13 months — but didn't end on a bad terms. A source then told Entertainment Tonight, "Grant and Sophia are better off as friends and they weren’t getting enough time with each other before their breakup."

When did Ashlyn Harris and Ali Krieger file for divorce?

Image via Roy Rochlin/Getty Images

October 2023

While things seemed to quiet down, Ashlyn Harris soon filed for divorce from Ali Krieger after getting married towards the end of 2019. What's interesting is that a source told Peoplethis decision wasn't surprising. "Although it’s new information to the public, Ashlyn and Ali’s divorce began months ago and they have been living apart since the summer,” the source said.

This is also around the time it was speculated Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris had their first official date. A rep told People, "Grant will always want the best for Sophia, and is supportive of all that makes her happy and fulfilled." We guess it helps he and Sophia had a solid friendship before getting married!

As for Ali Krieger, she basically let the world know things were business as usual with an Instagrampost. She captioned a pic of her playing soccer with, "Preparing for playoffs while in my Beyoncé lemonade era." A comment from user @lgbtlfg said, "the fact that a lot of players in these comment’s usually mind their business and stay out of drama but are supporting ali should tell everyone all they need to know."

The only thing Ashlyn said about it on Instagramis that she never intended for her and Ali's divorce to be made a public matter. A portion of her note says, "This process is never easy, but we were making our way through."

Have Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris publicly talked about their relationship?

Image via Vivien Killilea/Getty Images for Tequila Don Julio

March 2024

Besides showing up to Elton John's Oscars afterparty together, Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris were previously tight-lipped about their relationship. The only hint Sophia offered was much more of a reflective post about 2023 on Instagramat the beginning of January. She said, "This year taught me to listen to myself and no one else. To let go of expectation that wounds and grasp possibility that frees. To not care about optics and instead invest in honesty."

But, she's since chosen to own where she is in life.

Image via Lauren Dukoff/Glamour Magazine

Sophia Bush on the cover of Glamour Magazine

April 2024

Sophia Bush has now reached a point where she's publicly ready to stand in her truth regarding her life and her relationship status so much that she penned her own cover story for Glamour. The first thing she did was open up about how she really felt about her marriage and fertility struggles.

She wrote, "But after the wedding I found myself in the depths and heartbreak of the fertility process, which was the most clarifying experience of my life. It feels like society is finally making space for brutally honest conversations about how hard and painful any fertility journey is, but I kept mine private. I was trying to get through months of endless ultrasounds, hormone shots, so many blood draws that I have scar tissue in my veins, and retrieval after retrieval, while simultaneously realizing the person I had chosen to be my partner didn’t necessarily speak the same emotional language I did.”

Image via Lauren Dukoff/Glamour Magazine

As far as her relationship with Ashlyn Harris is concerned, the star is enjoying the love that exists between them. Contrary to alleged rumors, their initial relationship was a platonic one that stemmed from a place of understanding and support.

She told Glamour,I didn’t expect to find love in this support system. I don’t know how else to say it other than: I didn’t see it until I saw it. And I think it’s very easy not to see something that’s been in front of your face for a long time when you’d never looked at it as an option and you had never been looked at as an option. What I saw was a friend with her big, happy life. And now I know she thought the same thing about me.”

She also added, "A lot of effort was made to be graceful with other people’s processing, their time and obligations, and their feelings. What felt like seconds after I started to see what was in front of me, the online rumor mill began to spit in the ugliest ways. There were blatant lies. Violent threats. There were the accusations of being a home-wrecker. The ones who said I’d left my ex because I suddenly realized I wanted to be with women—my partners have known what I’m into for as long as I have (so that’s not it, y’all, sorry!).”

Image via Lauren Dukoff/Glamour Magazine

It's safe to say that Sophia Bush is thoroughly comfortable with her love life and identity as a queer woman. She said, "I’ve experienced so much safety, respect, and love in the queer community, as an ally all of my life, that, as I came into myself, I already felt it was my home. I think I’ve always known that my sexuality exists on a spectrum. Right now I think the word that best defines it is queer. I can’t say it without smiling, actually. And that feels pretty great.”

And this is what it looks like to reclaim your narrative when so many people are looking at a brief glimpse of the lives of celebrities. We love that Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris are loving each other on their terms without feeling pressured to share anything before they were ready to. Our hope is that their love story continues to unfold beautifully.

Be sure to watch Sophia Bush's interview with Glamour's Editor-in-Chief Samantha Barry here!

Full Credits From Glamour Magazine:

Writer: Sophia Bush

Photographer: Lauren Dukoff

Stylist: Deborah Afshani

Hair: Matthew Collins

Makeup: Afton Williams

Manicure: Brittney Boyce

Have Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris made their official red carpet debut?

Image via Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images for Kimball Stroud & Associates

April 27, 2024

Per Glamour, Sophia Bush and Ashlyn made their official red carpet debut as a couple on Friday. They attended the White House Correspondent's dinner where they were dressed to impress in complementing black ensembles.

It's easy to see the glowing couple couldn't stop laughing and smiling as they posed for pictures that seemed to capture every good angle of their faces and style.

Image via Paul Morigi/Getty Images

After the dinner, Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris posed for more pictures on the red carpet leading to the Correspondent's after-party. Now that we're able to see their full faces, we have to talk about how well their hair and makeup complements their outfits. It's clear that Ashlyn's contour and bronzer were expertly applied to her face while Sophia's blush gave her a natural flush.

*Sigh* Their smiles are the only confirmation we need that they're enjoying the bliss of being a couple.

www.instagram.com

October 2024

Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris are packing on the PDA in Sophia's latest Instagram pic! In celebration of Ashlyn's birthday, Sophia shared an intimate photo of the two with a heartfelt message to celebrate the love of her life. Honestly, this is probably the happiest I've ever seen both of them and that makes my inner romantic giddy. Plus, they're such a good-looking couple! One of my favorite comments left on their picture is "if living her best life was a person" because it sums up how I feel about Sophia's growing romance with Ashlyn.

November 2024

Ashlyn Harris is finally telling her side of what led to her divorce and it has nothing to do with Sophia Bush. During her appearance on Naked Sports with Cari Champion, she talked about trying to save what she and ex-wife Ali Krieger had. "I started trying all these things, like, let’s do an open marriage." For Ashlyn, it was her "last attempt of" salvaging what they had.

Not only did that go against who she was, but Ashlyn dropped another bombshell about why she suggested it in the first place. "I felt so embarrassed and I felt so much shame that I didn’t know how to tell people that, like, oh, ‘My wife doesn’t want to touch me or doesn’t want to be intimate or doesn’t want this.'" Uh, no intimacy? Yikes.

She also admitted it felt like she fell last on the list of priorities in her and Krieger's marriage. "I didn’t feel that sense of connection, whether emotional or physical. It was soccer, job, kids, and then somewhere down the line it was like, ‘OK, what about me?'"

As far as her being the villain in the relationship, Ashlyn says it's completely untrue. "I’m constantly pegged as a cheater, which that is so far from the truth and she knows it." The image that Krieger's allowed to be painted of Ashlyn "torched" her, but it seems like she's chosen to focus on the happy relationship she's building with Sophia.

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This article has been updated.

I’ve triedtons of different food trends in my day. From dumping chili oil on ice cream to concocting my very own Sleepy Girl Mocktail, nothing I’ve eaten measures up to the sheer weirdness we saw go viral on social media this year (major side eye to Dua Lipa’s pickle Diet Coke).

These are the top 5 most ridiculous TikTok-viral food trends of 2024 that left us questioning whether they really should’ve gone viral in the first place.

@claudiaeatsgood chamoy pickles are so good😋😩❤️ @Bussin Snacks #chamoypickle#chamoy#chamoypicklekit#bussinsnacks#takis#fruitrollup#mukbang#asmr#asmrmukbang#chamoypicklemukbang#juicy#pickle#mexicancandy♬ original sound - Claudia💕

1. Chamoy Pickles

People couldn't quit it with the chamoy pickles (AKA chickles) this year. I never would've guessed that chamoy, a condiment made from dried fruits, chilies, sugar, and lime juice, would be slathered atop the sourest pickles money can buy.

But the food trend didn't stop at just chamoy – many snackers stuffed their pickles with everything from the likes of Hot Cheetos, Takis, and Fruit Roll-Ups. What?!

This insanely sour, tangy treat kickstarted what the internet's coined as the 'Red 40 Diet', which certainly cannot be medically advised.

If you care for your GI tract, this food trend is 100% worth skipping and leaving behind in 2024.

@dualipaofficial

What do we call her?

♬ original sound - Dua Lipa

2. Pickle + Jalapeño-Infused Diet Coke

Diet Coke, pickle juice, and jalapeño juice = all the ingredients needed to concoct Dua Lipa's controversial 2024 drink. She loves it, but I on the other hand, do not.

Now, don't get me wrong: I love a good unexpected flavor combo, but gulping down a simultaneous dose of both pickle juice and jalapeño juice was not tasty to me whatsoever.

This trend even sparked a slew of Sonic diners to start ordering their soft drinks with pickles – but as divisive as this trend can be ("Don’t knock it till you try it," TikToker Mississippi Memaw told Food and Wine), it's just flat out weird.

@logagm

New cucumber recipe 🚨

♬ original sound - Logan

3. Cucumber Salad

If you bought a mandolin slicer recently, you might as well admit you're a victim of the TikTok-viral cucumber salad trend that made its rounds this year.

"Sometimes you need to eat an entire cucumber," TikTok user @logagmsounds off in the intro of every single one of his cucumber salad videos. And thus, the food trend was born.

It felt like I couldn't go a day on TikTok without seeing at least 5 recipes for a damn cucumber salad. When it comes down to it, I can appreciate the novelty (and taste) of this trend, but not the oversaturation. I'm gonna eat an entire cucumber one day, and get so tired of it the next. New innovations in 2025, please!

@kylekruegerr Would you try these?😂 #foodreview#seagrapes#food#review#tastetest#weirdfood♬ original sound - Kyle Krueger

4. Sea Grapes

It was like people wanted to eat the weirdest, grossest things in 2024. I can't blame 'em, especially if it's for clicks and views. But this food trend in particular literally made me want to gag – and I was only watching people eat through a screen (any fellow ASMR fans out there?).

They don't look like they're supposed to be crunchy, but they are. Sea grapes grow from aquatic plants and are filled with essentially what is a "salty liquid." They burst in the mouth when you eat them (one TikToker called them 'edible Orbeez'). Yuck.

@julieta.asmr I figured it out!! Blooper at the end 🥴 #asmr#asmrcommunity#asmrtiktoks#asmrvideo#asmrsounds#asmreating#asmrfood#asmrfyp#asmrmukbang#mukbang#asmreatingsounds♬ original sound - Julieta ASMR 🍒

5. Exploding Candies

The final (and especially weird) food trend I propose we leave behind in 2024 is these dang exploding jelly candies. They also made their rounds on ASMR TikTok, and I truly cannot stand to watch a single video featuring them.

First off, they look so annoying to consume. The fruit-shaped jellies are contained in a thin layer of plastic that's meant to burst open when you sink your teeth into it, prompting you to slurp out the sweetness inside. But what irks me the most is the fact that many people trying them can't even break the seal.

I'd rather watch someone make a simple PB&J than go to town on these microplastic-infused candies.

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Emily Blunt and John Krasinski are at the top of my personal #relationshipgoals list because they're my real life Jim and Pam from The Office. I'm sure that sounds cheesy, but I'm willing to flex my hopeless romantic muscles when it comes to their love story. It's not like they make it hard for me to gush over them.

Whether it's thinking about the way they first met, or the epic way they made A Quiet Place together in spite of 'advice' that tried to spell their demise, Emily Blunt and John Krasinski have a unified relationship that gives me butterflies. Here's a definitive timeline of these two love birds' relationship!

Scroll down to get all the adorable details on Emily Blunt & John Krasinski!

How many children do Emily Blunt and John Krasinski have?

Ilya S. Savenok/Getty Images

The couple has two daughters together — Hazel, 10, and Violet, 7. They confirmed their first pregnancy with Hazel in 2013 and only announced the arrival of Violet after she was born in 2016.

Sarah Stier/Getty Images

On September 7, John Krasinski, Emily Blunt and their daughters showed up to the US Open. Hazel wore a white US Open cap while Emily and John opted for black hats. Violet stood out with her hair in a ponytail & bow.

What have Emily Blunt and John Krasinski said about their daughters?

Cindy Ord/Getty Images

John told Peoplein 2020 that becoming a father has been one of the biggest changes in his life. He said, "“I went through some really serious stuff...There is a mirror that is held up to me now. You have someone watching you. You have to lead by example.” He also said he's been able to see his parents' perspectives now that he's raising children.

Emily told Harper's Bazaar UK last year that their daughters are a top priority for her. It's why she carves out time to be with them as much as possible when working. She said, "...even though they’re...used to this strange life, it’s still rough on them when I have to go away." As a working mom, I can only imagine how difficult it is for actors and actresses to explain to their kids why they have to go away for periods of time.

She went on to say, "There are cornerstones of the girls’ day that I don’t want to compromise on – like, will you wake me up, take me to school...It’s such an exhale for me to be able to do that."

When Did Emily Blunt and John Krasinski meet?

Amy Sussman/Getty Images

Emily appeared on A Late Night with Seth Meyers in 2018 and admitted their first meeting was fairly casual. She said, "...it's just kind of lame. I mean, I was in a restaurant. He was in the restaurant." She then says something that made me giggle. "This is our romantic comedy! This is it. Write it," said Emily.

From there, she talks about how their mutual friend spotted John and the way her future husband made her laugh when he came to the table. As simple as that sounds, I think the best love stories don't always have an overly dazzling beginning. Sometimes it's really the small interactions that touch the heart.

And as for John's perspective on the meeting? Well, he told PEOPLE for the Sexiest Man Alive issue that he fell for Emily "the second he met her." The star said, "I don't know what happened, but I remember someone introduced us, and it was across a room in a restaurant, and I walked over to her, and as soon as I shook her hand, I just knew." OKAY, BRB SOBBING. 😭❤️

When did Emily Blunt and John Krasinski start dating?

Amy Sussman/Getty Images

They've never shared an official timeline for their first date, but we're pretty sure it didn't take long for Emily Blunt and John Krasinski to have their first date after meeting in 2008. They don't agree on who asked who out first, but the couple told The Hollywood Reporter in 2018 that they basically hung out at John's apartment and ate pizza. I always say the best way to know if you really like someone is if you enjoy being around them doing something that's considered mundane — like eating pizza and watching movies.

When did Emily Blunt and John Krasinski get married?

Mike Coppola/Getty Images

Less than a year after dating, Emily Blunt and John Krasinski got engaged! A rep told People, "We can confirm that John and Emily are engaged."

They were engaged for almost a year before "jumping the broom" in 2010 and had an exclusive wedding at fellow actor George Clooney's house! Funny enough, John was hesitant about having their wedding there and told Elle, "Only on the fourth ask did I say yes. Because the first three times I thought, There's no way he is serious. But I started to see his feelings get hurt."

What have Emily Blunt and John Krasinski said about their relationship?

Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images for Critics Choice Association

John admitted to Glamour in 2018 that he'd watched The Devil Wears Prada over 50 times. "I’m lucky enough that she stayed with me and didn’t realize that she had really married her stalker," he said.

Emily gushed about her husband by telling InStylein 2021, "When I feel the support that I have from him, I feel invincible. There's someone behind you on your good days and someone in front of you on your bad days."

Why did Emily Blunt and John Krasinski decide to work on "A Quiet Place" together?

John Phillips/Getty Images

When it was announced that Emily Blunt and John Krasinski were working on their first film together, A Quiet Place, I was beyond excited. Of their experience on set together, John admitted to Peoplein 2018 that he had a lot of fun working with Emily. He said, “I’ve never have loved my wife more than after we did this movie...We were really honest with each other from the beginning."

And when Emily won the award for Best Supporting Actress at the 25th Annual SAG Awards in 2019, she had nothing but positive things to say about John. She said, "I am going to share this completely with my husband, John Krasinski, because the entire experience of doing this with you has completely pierced my heart directly...You are a stunning filmmaker..."

How have Emily Blunt and John Krasinski supported each other's careers?

Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Now that Emily is getting ready for the debut of The Fall Guy alongside Ryan Gosling, she can't help but to talk about how John influenced her to lean into her latest role. She recently told People, "I am married to a director, I know what it's like to hold the tempest of the movie in your head and the pressures and being pulled in a million directions."

John's also grateful that he has a wife like Emily. He told Paradein 2022, "On a daily basis, but certainly in a career-wise, as a dad, she pushes me to be better every single day at everything I do. So I look forward to the next day cause I know it'll be better than the one before."

Sigh. Excuse me — I'll be somewhere crying about the way these two have shown up for each other over the years.

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This post has been updated.

First loves are TOUGH — especially when you start to see all the red flags you missed along the way once it's over. If you've been dissecting your own early love stories by reading Reddit threads or chatting with your girlfriends about their own relationship experiences, just know this: you're not alone! The entire Brit + Co staff even found ourselves discussing the first person we ever fell in love with...and the recounts did not disappoint. From realizing 19 seemed to be a common age for our all-time worst relationships to understanding how our first love was probably not as ideal as we originally thought, it made us wonder why we couldn't pinpoint red flags back then.

Licensed Psychotherapist Prerna Menon, founder of Boundless, LCSW-PLLC and Licensed marriage and family therapist Joseph Cavins, LMFT have a few thoughts that have helped us decode the precarious time in our lives.

Here's why some of us ignored how awful our first love might've been

1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.

Savannah Dematteo

I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.

"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.

As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."

Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.

2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.

Keira Burton

While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."

Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.

Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."

3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.

Luis Zambrano

Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?

Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.

You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says

4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.

Adely

*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."

Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.

4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.

Pavel Danilyuk

Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.

Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.

I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."

5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.

Ketut Subiyanto

Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."

At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.

What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?

Andrea Piacquadio

First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."

I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.

"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.

Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.

Here are Menon's tips:

  • Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
  • Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.

Anastasia Nagibina

I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?

I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.

"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."

Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."

He wants you to consider these things:

  • Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
  • Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
  • Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.

Menon's final piece of advice is similar in that she encourages you to be "self-critical, self-aware, and self-nourishing." She doesn't want you to be afraid to be "clear and transparent about your expectations for the relationship" either. Though we weren't a fan of the outcomes of our first real romantic relationships, they've made us wiser. So, shout out to our first loves for being the worst because they've become our best learning lessons.

That's not all! We have even more helpful articles about relationships & family if you're looking for everything from celebrity couples to navigating hard conversations during the holidays.

No matter how many times I rewatch The Vampire Diaries, there's nothing like seeing a cast reunion — and the weekend of December 6, we finally got to see our three favorite Mystic Falls gals together again! Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King were just some of The Vampire Diaries cast members who reunited for Epic Con to chat all things Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline...but things took a turn in the middle of the interview when one of the backdrops almost fell on Nina!

Keep reading to see what happened during The Vampire Diaries cast reunion with Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King.

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Even after all these years, Bonnie and Caroline are still saving Elena #tvd #thevampirediaries #ninadobrev #candiceking #katgraham #elanagilbert #carolineforbes #bonniebennett #epiccons

As someone who's done plenty of interviews myself, I know how fast a situation can spiral — and this interview accident is crazy. While talking on stage about the show, one of the backdrops begins to lean forward, and right before it falls on top of Nina, Candice and Kat quickly move to push it in the opposite direction.

"I don't want to see any 'Bonnie saves the day' memes," Kat jokes, referencing the fandom's love for Bonnie consistently helping the group throughout the show's eight-season run. "I don't want to see it, I don't want to hear it!" You can also see a relieved Nina hug Candice before revealing she thought it was a spider!

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In addition to this "Bonnie saves the day" moment (sorry, Kat, I couldn't help it!), the internet went crazy when Nina posted a video of her, Candice, and Kat recreating a photo they took during season 1 — especially after rumors have circulated for years that Kat Graham was mistreated on The Vampire Diaries set.

While these rumors have never been outright confirmed, fans have paid very special attention to what Kat has said...especially when she confirmedshe was the lowest-paid cast member and cried over her natural hair after revealing she wasn't really allowed to have an afro while filming.

"Love you girls so much!!!!!! 🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️" Kat commented on Nina's post, while a fan added, "And now the rumors can definitely be ended 🫶🏼❤️." These women are so powerful and clearly love each other so much, and I will take any and every cast reunion we can get!

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When Brit + Co caught up with Ian Somerhalder, he also expressed how much he loved filming The Vampire Diaries. "Every single day it was a laugh," he says. "I mean we had to be serious, you're running from ghosts and vampires and stuff, and you know, someone makes a fart joke and a 130 people erupt in laughter, there's only so much you can run for your life."

And thank goodness, Ian confirms just how much fun the cast had! "We laughed, that's how we kept each other sane," he says. "I spent 8 years on the show and now it's [been] 15 years. It's my longest relationship."

"I cannot believe it's been 15 years," he continues. "And so everyone who's seen the show, watched the show, supported us — and me — in any way, shape, and form regarding the show, I thank you from the bottom of my heart."

What would your dream The Vampire Diaries reunion look like? Let us know on Facebook!