Cycle Syncing Is The Ultimate Self-Care Practice

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If all you learned about periods growing up was that it's something that happens once a month, the subsequent experience of the endless cramping, craving, and crying can all be really confusing. You may know that your hormones are hard at work during your cycle, but understanding how they fully affect your energy, mental health, libido, and more is tricky. Thanks to ongoing research and knowledgable women's health experts, we can gain some clarity about what the heck is going on with our bodies during *that* time of the month. Cycle syncing is a life-changing way to manage your wellbeing and get to know your hormones on a deeper level. Read more on what exactly cycle syncing is, and how you can start your journey.

What is cycle syncing?

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Cycle syncing refers to the adjustment of your habits, such as exercise and diet, to match the different phases of your menstrual cycle. With each phase comes fluctuating levels of hormones, which cause you to have varying levels of energy, sleep, mood, appetite, and libido. Changing certain lifestyle habits in accordance with your hormones can help you optimize how you feel throughout your cycle, and feel more balanced overall.

Though research surrounding cycle syncing is growing, the practice isn't commonly accepted as mainstream. "Cycle syncing is not currently scientifically proven, as there is limited data available to support the idea, showing how much more research needs to be done into female health," says Dr. Claudia Pastorelli Mosca, obstetrician, gynecologist, and Medical Advisor at Flo Health.

Who is cycle syncing best for?

Cycle syncing can be helpful for women who are overweight, overly tired and fatigued, have low libido, have PCOS, or want to conceive. In general, if you have a hunch that your hormones are ruling your life, cycle syncing can provide some great benefits.

What are the benefits of cycle syncing?

Cycle syncing may increase energy levels, minimize mood swings, and lessen those other yucky period symptoms. The practice can also allow you to have more effective workouts, and feel more balanced when it comes to your wellbeing. Cycle syncing may also provide you with a heightened awareness of your fertility cycle if you’re trying to conceive.

The Phases of the Menstrual Cycle – What Happens?

  1. Menstrual phase (Days 1-5): Estrogen and progesterone levels are low in the menstrual phase, as your body sheds its uterine lining. You may experience period symptoms like cramps and headaches.
  2. Follicular phase (Days 6-14): Estrogen and progesterone rise in the follicular phase. Typically, you’ll feel like you have more energy, and are in a pleasant mood.
  3. Ovulatory phase (Days 15-17): The ovulatory phase is when your body has the highest levels of estrogen. Testosterone and progesterone are on the rise. You probably feel like you want to get it on, as these hormones produce the highest libido levels in your cycle.
  4. Luteal phase (Days 18-28): The highest levels of testosterone and progesterone are present in the luteal phase. If the egg isn't fertilized, your body is preparing to cycle again.

Note that each phase can last for a different amount of days for everyone, and this schedule is a standard estimate.

How do I cycle sync?

Keeping track of your menstrual cycle and symptoms using a calendar or mobile app like Flo is helpful for cycle syncing. This way, you know what to expect from each of the phases you go through, and can sync accordingly.

Adjusting your diet and exercise habits are at the core of cycle syncing, because they can allow you to better manage the hormone fluctuations that take place.

"Always paying attention and listening to your body, including during your menstrual cycle is important," says Dr. Pastorelli Mosca. "Acting intuitively, such as taking it slower during exercises when you don't feel too energetic during your period, is totally okay. Understanding that you don't have to always be performing on top of your game in every aspect of your life is a great way to respect your body signals."

Keep in mind that hormonal contraceptives (the pill, vaginal rings, IUDs, etc.) could get in the way of experiencing all four cycles. It's important to talk with your doctor first about if cycle syncing is right for you.

The Best Workouts for Cycle Syncing

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  1. Menstrual: It’s best to do light movements during your menstrual phase. It’s normal to feel super fatigued during this phase, but moving your body can help encourage blood flow and minimize pain. Meditative yoga, light at-home pilates, and easy walks are a few optimal workouts.
  2. Follicular: Light cardio like hiking, jogging, or flow yoga and Zumba are the best workouts for your follicular phase.
  3. Ovulatory: Pump things up a little bit during your ovulatory phase, since you’ll likely have more energy than normal. HIIT workouts and fast-paced cardio like spin classes are the best.
  4. Luteal: Practice light to moderate exercise during your luteal phase as your body prepares to repeat the cycle. Do some strength training, running, meditation to get you through this phase.

The Best Foods to Eat for Cycle Syncing

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  1. Menstrual: Avoid fatty foods, caffeine and salty foods. Indulge in iron-rich foods like nuts, lentils and meat to support the body’s blood loss at this phase.
  2. Follicular: Sprouted and fermented foods are the best support during the follicular phase. Focus on eating high-fiber and high-zinc foods like eggs and whole grains.
  3. Ovulatory: During the ovulatory phase, you want to eat foods that support your liver. Reach for whole fruits and vegetables, and nuts like almonds.
  4. Luteal: Hone in on serotonin-producing foods during this phase. Try incorporating leafy greens and quinoa into some dishes. Magnesium-rich foods like dark chocolate, spinach and pumpkin seeds will also aid in your low libido at this time.

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HSA isn’t just for prescriptions and doctor’s visits – there’s actually a ton of things you can buy with your savings. Blue light glasses and sunscreen are commonly HSA eligible, but a lot of people don’t know you can also finesse fancy spa visits and life-changing massage guns (I’m looking at you, Theragun) with their HSA dollars. Some of these items are also FSA eligible, so if you’ve got some funds to use before they expire at the end of the year, you’ve come to the right place!

Your HSA funds can do way more than you think. Check out these 14 unexpectedly fun health-related finds to help you step up your self-care!

What is HSA?

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HSA stands for Health Savings Account, a type of savings account that lets you set aside funds to pay for qualified medical expenses. HSAs are often available as a part of health insurance plans, though banks and credit unions offer them, too.

What can I buy with an HSA?

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You can buy a lot more with your HSA funds than you think: menstrual products, over-the-counter medicines, sunscreen, and travel to and from medical appointments are just some of the things you can buy with an HSA.

Is HSA worth it?

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Whether an HSA is worth it is really dependent on your needs. There are some nice advantages associated with it, though. You may be able to lower your out of pocket costs for medical needs. Plus, the funds are not taxed, so you may be able to save more. Unlike an FSA (Flexible Spending Account), HSA funds roll over year-over-year, so you don't have to worry about it expiring.

Should I max my HSA?

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Maxing out your HSA to your account's annual maximum amount via monthly contributions can be beneficial if your goals are to save money and limit out of pocket costs for medical care. You can also opt to invest some of your HSA funds, which can be a smart decision for saving for things like family planning or retirement.

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Sunscreen

Per Cigna, sunscreen counts as a reimbursable HSA purchase. SPF is super important for skin cancer prevention, plus wearing it regularly can reduce signs of aging – a win-win!

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Hatch Alarm Clock

The famed Hatch Restore alarm clock is both HSA and FSA eligible. It's a superb tool for going to bed soundly and waking up feeling refreshed as ever!

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Period Underwear

Menstrual care and feminine hygiene products are also HSA eligible. Cigna says this category may include tampons, pads, liners, cups, sponges, and similar items, like period underwear!

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Theragun

This luxurious massage gun is both FSA and HSA eligible! It's truly life-changing for relieving muscle soreness and tightness. Therabody's other devices like the Theragun PRO Plus, Theragun Sense, and Theragun Relief are also eligible.

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Oura Ring

This fitness tracker ring is FSA and HSA eligible – it can help you keep tabs on your sleep, activity, stress, heart rate and more.

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Breathing Strips

According to Cigna, breathing strips are HSA eligible, plus you don't need a doctor's prescription for reimbursement.

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Electric Toothbrush

Electric toothbrushes are HSA eligible and reimbursable with a medical diagnosis. This model in particular cleans way better than a regular toothbrush, expertly supporting your oral health.

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Essential Oils

Essential oils are HSA-covered with a medical diagnosis. Certain oils can help relieve stress, anxiety, physical pain, and nausea, and aid in better sleep.

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Hand Sanitizer

Hand sanitizers of any kind are also surprisingly HSA eligible. We love these sprays from Touchland because they're cute, easily portable, and smell delicious.

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Humidifiers

Humidifiers are indeed HSA eligible – the moisture they put out into the surrounding air can relieve respiratory issues, common colds, and even reduce snoring.

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Air Purifiers

Similarly, air purifiers are eligible because they can help remove airborne contaminants and viruses that cause allergies and disease.

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Spa Trips

In the case you're prescribed a lovely visit to a spa or resort by a physician for medical treatment, the only part that's covered by HSA are the services you receive while you're there. The cost of transportation is not eligible for reimbursement.

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Blue Light Glasses

Blue light glasses are covered by HSA; lenses like these block out blue light from screens which helps prevent eye strain and fatigue.

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It's official: Blue Ivy looks totally grown up now — especially in her gorgeous gold gown at the Mufasa: The Lion Kingpremiere. It honestly feels like just yesterday that Beyoncé announced she was born, and now she's a star in her own right! She celebrated her Disney film debut with her family by her side on the red carpet (and everyone looking as gorgeous as ever).

While Jay-Z was one of the latest celebrities caught in the crosshairs of P. Diddy allegations, it didn't stop mom and dad from showing their unwavering support. The family put on a united front, smiling for the cameras and praising Blue's work on her latest Disney film, further proving that they're in this together. Here's everything we know!

Details about the Mufasa: The Lion King premiere

Beyoncé & Jay-Z Amazing Support Of Blue Ivy's Role In 'Mufasa'

Jesse Grant/Getty Images for Disney

Blue Ivy stars in Mufasa: The Lion King as Kiara with Beyoncé voicing Nala again. The highly anticipated film will show Mufasa's origins from a young cub to the majestic king we've come to know, love, and mourn.

In this cute BTS clip, Beyoncé and Blue are initially shown in separate recording booths while the latter says, "Don't stare at me." It's a typical response all kids eventually give their parents, but it doesn't bother Beyoncé. She simply smiles and says, "I can't help it. You're just too beautiful girl." Still, she offers a bit of reassurance to Blue. "I'mma be right here closing my eyes."

Blue briefly talked about what it feels like to work on a movie by saying, "If I like told my younger self that I was in a movie, I'd like never believe myself."

The star couldn't help but tear up as she continued to watch Blue and said, "Give me a second. I'm still...just can't believe that's my baby." While sitting side by Blue, Beyoncé eventually turns to look at her to let her know she's "so proud of her." Even Rumi, Beyoncé and Jay-Z's youngest daughter, makes a quick appearance!

The Mufasa: The Lion King premiere occurred December 9 with Beyoncé, Jay-Z, and grandma Tina Knowles standing by Blue Ivy's side. They looked stunning on the red carpet as they wore coordinating outfits. Although the ladies seemed to be present and excited, Jay-Z temporarily looked distracted while all of them were standing together (via PEOPLE).

If we had to guess, it may have something to do with the recent allegations connecting he and P. Diddy weighing on his mind. After the accusation went public, Jay-Z penned his own public statement and shared it to Roc Nations' social channels. The most heartbreaking aspect of it is realizing his children will be able to see everything.

"My wife and I will have to sit our children down, one of whom is at the age where her friends will surely see the press and ask questions about the nature of these claims, and explain the cruelty and greed of people," he wrote (via X). Only time will tell how everything pans out, but we hope this doesn't overshadow Blue Ivy's success, nor do we want to see people vilify her or her siblings for alleged misdeeds of Jay-Z.

At the end of the day, we're so proud of Blue for letting her light shine bright despite everything else!

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One of the things I fondly remember about 2015 is learning that Gwen StefaniandBlake Shelton were dating. I was sad when she decided to divorce her ex-husband Gavin Rossdale, but I was onboard with her finding a new version of happiness! I've actually wondered if she was surprised to find that in Blake and vice versa.

Since I'm a nosy cookie, I decided to take a fun trip down memory lane to see how Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton's love story has evolved over the years. There's nothing quite like seeing two people find success in love and marriage again to keep my romantic dreams alive!

A Full Relationship Timeline For Gwen Stefani And Blake Shelton

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April 2014 — Gwen Stefani And Blake Shelton Meet As Co-Workers On The Voice

We've all heard that workplace romances are bad for business, but that's not always the case. In Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani's situation, meeting at work was one of the best things that happened for them! They met while taping Season 7 of The Voice, but kept things friendly and professional given they were still married to their former spouses, Gavin Rossdale and Miranda Lambert.

November 2014 — Blake Shelton And Gwen Stefani Take A Selfie Together

In a picture that's still on Gwen's Instagram page, the former co-workers snapped a cute selfie together that showed them happily grinning. She captioned it, "💓him @blakeshelton@nbcthevoice gx."

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July and August 2015 — Gwen Stefani And Blake Shelton Announce Their Divorces

Despite the fact Blake Shelton and his ex-wife Miranda Lambert had been together for a decade, they shared an exclusive statement with The Associated Pressabout their decision to divorce. "It is with heavy hearts that we move forward separately. We are real people, with real lives, with real families, friends and colleagues. Therefore, we kindly ask for privacy and compassion concerning this very personal matter," they said.

When Gwen appeared on The Howard Stern Showin 2016, she revealed she wasn't expecting Blake's situation to mirror her own. "I was in shock, because I felt like he was exposing me...I had this huge weight on me and nobody but my parents and obviously everybody involved knew."

The two began confiding in each other and eventually developed a friendship that would set the tone for their romantic relationship.

January 2016 — Blake Shelton Gifts Gwen Stefani A Horse

It's always nice when the person we're dating pays attention to our interests and hobbies, which is exactly what Blake Shelton did when he gifted Gwen a horse! She shared a gorgeous snapshot of the beautiful 'Halo' on Instagram and wrote a little snazzy caption to celebrate how gorgeous the horse is.

Blake joked with Entertainment Tonight, "Gwen, she loves riding and she loves horses. It's actually so funny that people are so shocked by that, but [just try to] name me one girl on the planet that doesn't love horses or just think that they are beautiful."

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February 2016 — Gwen Stefani And Blake Shelton Make Their Relationship Red Carpet Official

Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani were glowing as they posed for pictures on the red carpet of Vanity Fair's Oscar party in 2016. USA Today reported that Gwen wore a red-hot dress by Yanina Couture while Blake stayed true to his all-America cowboy casual look.

That same month Blake shared how much of a positive impact Gwen had on his life. He told Billboard, "Gwen saved my life. Who else on earth could understand going through a high-profile divorce from another musician? You can’t even imagine the similarities in our divorces."

When Gwen appeared on The Kelly Clarkson Show in 2022, she dished about her and Blake's red carpet debut. "I think I played at the party and then we went out that night...That melts me when I see it. It's such a moment for me — a good one," she said with her signature smile on her face.

November 2017 — Gwen Stefani Encourages Blake Shelton to Celebrate His Sex Symbol Status

More than a year later, Blake was crowned People's Sexiest Man Alive in 2017, and initially, it shocked him. He joked that maybe People chose him as a last resort, but was quick to highlight how Gwen encouraged him to embrace his new title. "She goes, ‘Listen to me, you’re going to regret this for the rest of your life if you don’t take this gift and just live in the moment.'"

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June 2018 — Blake Shelton Shows His Support For Gwen Stefani's Las Vegas Residency

When it came time for Gwen Stefani to jumpstart her Las Vegas Residency in 2018, Blake Shelton made sure to show his full support for her. She shared a series of cute pictures on Instagram that showed the two sharing a intimate kiss moments before she hit the stage for the first time.

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August 2019 — Gwen Stefani And Blake Shelton Appear on The Voice as Judges Again

People shared that when Gwen Stefani returned as one of the judges on The Voice in 2017, it was like a happy reunion for her. "I’m so happy to be back. My life changed so much on this show...then to be with my best friend Blakey, and to be here with Kelly and John, I feel pretty lucky right now," she exclusively told the outlet.

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December 2019 — Gwen Stefani And Blake Shelton Release Their Duet "Nobody But You"

As part of Blake's album Fully Loaded: God's Country, he and Gwen recorded "Nobody But You" together. He said the song perfectly aligned with what was going on in his life during an interview with People. "I also realized how important it is for me and where I am in my life, and I think that's why [writer] Shane [McAnally] was trying to get it to me," he said.The couple went on to perform it at the Grammy's in 2020 and it was obvious they felt every lyric they sang.

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July 2020 — Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani Share "Happy Anywhere" During Lockdown

When the pandemic was still very fresh and everyone was on lockdown, Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani shared another single — "Happy Anywhere" — on Instagram. Once again, their love for each other was evident in the way they looked at each other while singing.

Gwen also shared how the pandemic brought them closer together during an interview with Entertainment Tonight. "We got to be in Oklahoma as a family. We got to do things we never get to do, like try to make sourdough bread, like everybody else in America, and just do so many fun things -- garden, tear down trees, plant tons of different things," she said.

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October 2020 — Gwen Stefani And Blake Shelton Get Engaged

After five years of dating, the happy couple sharing the happy news that they were engaged! Gwen posted another amazing picture of them while showing off her new ring on Instagram in 2020. Her caption simply read, "@blakeshelton yes please! 💍🙏🏻 gx". But, that doesn't mean the couple didn't have some things to discuss and work on prior to entering a new chapter together.During a video interview with the Today show hosts in 2021, Gwen briefly talked about this. "I think there was a lot to consider when you have so many people involved. Children, and their hearts, and everybody in my family [and] his family, we all went through a lot together," she said.

July 2021 — The Happy Couple Walk Down the Aisle Together

Less than a year of announcing their engagement, Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani got married at his ranch in Oklahoma. Based on the snapshots shared by People, the couple looked d*mn good! I literally have Gwen's wedding dress saved as inspo for my own special day!Since then, Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani have shown up for each other in truly inspiring ways. That's not to say they have a perfect relationship though because relationships take work. But, it seems like they've truly found their sweet escape in each other no matter how much work it takes to keep their love going BTS.

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April 2024 — Blake Shelton And Gwen Stefani Are Still Going Strong

As far as those divorce rumors? Gwen Stefani laid them to rest. She told Nylon, "It’s just lies. The truth is the truth, and we know what that is. And so that [negativity] would never penetrate just by me being vulnerable and sharing a song that I didn’t write for anybody else but myself and Blake." The song she's referencing is "Purple Irises" which is another sweet ode to their love.

*Sigh* They sure know how to make me believe that loving someone is a beautiful choice.

August 2024 — Blake Shelton And Gwen Stefani's 'Family' Just Got Bigger

NBC reports Blake Shelton added new farming equipment to he and Gwen's repertoire on August 20, but a source believes the "Sweet Escape" singer isn't a fan of her husband's excitement about "hunting season," (via Instagram).

"They agreed to disagree about his hunting back when they first got together, but that doesn’t mean it’s an easy thing for Gwen to handle," the source told Life & Style. The two continue to go back-and-forth on this, but it doesn't seem like Blake's budging anytime soon.

November 2024 — Gwen Stefani Almost Walked Away From Blake Shelton

This relationship almost didn't reach a sweet point, according to Gwen Stefani. Since they were dealing with a lot when they decided to date, the "Sweet Escape" singer was ready to leave Blake in the dust. "We had just met, and it was chaos. Both of our lives were in complete turmoil, all over the ground. Nothing could save us at that point," she remembered (via PEOPLE). "There was a point where I was like, 'I can't even talk to you. This is insane. I already have enough problems. This is not happening anymore. We're not going to text or nothing.'"

The key to winning her over was speaking to her through music. "I think he really wanted to impress me, because he doesn't really write songs as much as he used to. And I love writing songs. That's everything to me...That's where I get my fulfillment," she says.

His ability to start writing "Go Ahead and Break My Heart" to send to her became one of the couples first completed songs together. "He sent it to me, and it was a half-written song. He was like, 'Help me finish this.' So I wrote him the verse back — the second verse on the song — and it's just over text," she said."

How do you feel about Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton's relationship? Check out the latest on John Legend and Chrissy Teigen's too!

This post has been updated.

Ahhh…Paris Geller. Where does one even begin with the best Gilmore Girl whose name isn't actually Gilmore? The woman we all came to know and love. The purveyor of backhanded compliments, deadpan humor, the quickest wit one can imagine and an absolutely ungodly work ethic. The sole character of the series who I would 100% watch a spin-off of, and love every minute. Sure — she once said that everyone around her needed to be sterilized immediately. And that Rory’s boyfriend offers “nothing to women or the world in general.” And that she can “scare the stupid out of you. But the lazy runs deep.”

She may, in fact, be the only character whose absurdity warrants such unhinged comments, and I am so here for it. You may be reading this because you too believe that Paris Geller deserves way more praise than she receives. Or you hate her. Or perhaps you don’t even know who she is. Regardless, allow me to delight you with the many — shall I say — unique musings of my favorite Gilmore Girls character, and explain exactly why Paris was not only what the cult-classic show needed, but the feminist icon TV needed, too.

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So let’s start from the beginning. Paris Geller (played by Liza Weil) joined the GG crew in Season 1, right as Rory Gilmore (the show’s sort-of protagonist) walked into Chilton Academy, a private school where Paris was attending, for her first day. A far cry from Rory’s relatively timid and soft-spoken personality, Paris tore up the screen with her high-strung personality and immediate rivalry with Rory (Rory did not feel the same), who Paris viewed as the only candidate who could possibly challenge her spot at the top of the class standing. As the year progresses, the two become friends, which of course Paris still highly questioned.

The rest of their high school experience is plagued with repeated ups and downs, from Paris’s parents’ highly publicized divorce to their joint student government campaign and, most notably, Paris’s C-SPAN meltdown, courtesy of a Harvard rejection fueled by what she can only assume to be wide-spread knowledge that she lost her virginity. Despite losing the Valedictorian slot to Rory (which Paris comes to terms with after finding out Salutatorians tend to be more successful), Paris walks across the graduation stage and accepts her diploma from the school’s headmaster, to which she iconically quips, “no hard feelings.”

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Fast forward to Paris’s first year at Yale, a school she knew Rory was attending but had no intention of ever seeing again. Not to the surprise of Paris’s life coach, the two frenemies were placed together as suitemates, a pairing that ultimately served as a catalyst for lifelong friendship. Throughout college, Paris pursues pre-med and pre-law degrees, joins the Yale Daily News alongside Rory, dates an elderly professor (he passes away, leaving Paris to grieve), moves on with the editor of the Yale Daily News, Doyle McMaster, and potentially saves Rory from abandoning Yale forever by admitting to Lorelai that Rory is the only person who ever listened to her, challenged her and motivated her.

Paris then proceeds to become the editor of the Yale Daily News, a position in which her power-hungry tendencies took full-force, resulting in a forcible resignation, kick Rory out of their shared apartment, let Rory move back into their shared apartment (now with Doyle), be accepted to a slew of prestigious medical and law schools. She ultimately chose to attend med school and break up with Doyle, to which he refused, and tells Rory that they’re on their own but she can still do great things (Of course this doesn’t last, the two are meant to be best friends.)

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Somehow this doesn't even scratch the surface of the character of Paris. As you can tell, Paris is a fiercely loyal, protective woman who fights for herself to no end. She (literally) doesn’t care what other people think (so long as they’re not within her immediate circle) and never stops pursuing her dreams, no matter how many times she probably should have. She is the epitome of feminism in modern television — perhaps taken to an extreme — and serves as a necessary counterweight to Rory’s floundering sense of self.

So long as she keeps her need for perfectionism in check, Paris has one of those few personality types whose wild ambition and outspokenness is directly beneficial to her success, a success that she, and only she, can define. Sure, she has an exaggerated sense of self-importance, but when balanced by Rory’s soft-but-straightforward approach, Paris can quickly reset, reevaluate and move forward.

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That's the thing with Paris — she’s always moving forward. She doesn't get into Harvard? Tough. She takes a few days to wallow before considering her other options: Yale, Columbia and Princeton. She doesn’t know whether to choose med school or law school, so she takes stock of her bearings, reflects on her past dreams, and makes a clear, concise decision that she moves forward with.

Her brutally honest nature (both internally and externally) is exactly why Paris works. She’s generous when needed, comfortable with giving tough (and oftentimes tougher) love, is able to express vulnerability with the people she loves, doesn’t allow outside influences to affect her path and never let’s someone (especially a man) tell her she’s less than (*cough, cough*—Rory). For an early 2000s show, she showed women that there is power in education. There’s power in stepping away from a caretaker role. There’s power in expressing your opinion, no matter your age.

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There’s no doubt in my mind that she’s inspired countless women over the years — after all, she’s inspired me! Even though she’s had her controversial moments, she’s always been a cheering voice for women, even if it’s behind her resting grimace. For these reasons, and so many more, I am hereby deeming Paris Geller the best of Gilmore Girls — the heroine, perhaps, and a feminist icon to all.

What's your take on Paris Geller? Let us know in the comments, and sign up for our email newsletter for more pop culture musings!

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This post has been updated.

Gilmore Girlstakes up more of my brain space than I'd care to admit. The show is undeniably great. I mean, there's a reason it's become an absolute cultural phenomenon! The banter is witty and memorable, the Stars Hollow, Connecticut setting is warm and friendly, and the character dynamics feel natural and comforting. All of these elements combined create the perfect comfort show thatI personally rewatch again and again. However, despite having an overall positive opinion of the show, there is one bone I have to pick with it. This grievance makes my blood boil and keeps me tossing and turning at night.

While I can't pose my all-too-important question to the creators of the show, I will ask it to you, reader: Why in the world was Lane Kim's storyline such a travesty? Considering the show is not shy about uplifting and celebrating Rory (despite her many mistakes) it feels especially unfair how short of a stick Lane (played by Keiko Agena) truly got. Here are my unfiltered thoughts on the subject.

Lane deserved better after a life of seeking independence

Photo via WBLane Kim's Treatment On "Gilmore Girls" Is The Ultimate TV Tragedy

Throughout Lane's formative teenage years, she was forced to hide her true identity and interests in order to appease her mother. From hiding CDs in her floorboards and changing her clothes when she got to school, Lane was under a lot of pressure to keep her mom happy, while still trying to figure out who she was. Her mother even kicked her out after finding out about her "secret life," causing Lane to have to move into Rory's dorm. Rory, on the other hand, had a mother who supported her every dream and who she could be fully herself with.

I'm not sure why only one of these two besties got to live out their dreams, but if it did have to play out this way, it should have been Lane Kim. Given how difficult her upbringing was, couldn't the show have given her a win by having *her* be the one who gets to follow her dreams?

Lane's love life is lackluster

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Once again, the show propped up Rory and gave her not one, not two, but three love interests. Whether or not you love all three of them, we can all admit that each boyfriend was compatible with Rory in their own way, and helped her learn and grow. Lane, however, did not get this. Her first boyfriend, Dave, is great. He's kind and sweet and understanding of her family situation, but the show breaks them up because they can't handle being long-distance. (Technically, we know actor Adam Brody had to leave for The O.C. but where is the justice??!)

After Dave, it all goes downhill from there for poor Lane. She ends up with Zack, who isn't bad but isn't great. And, as soon as Lane is finally getting to pursue her passion by going on tour with her band, she finds out she and Zack are pregnant. Considering how long Lane dreamed of getting to be her authentic herself and openly express her interests, it feels cruel that this twist of fate took it away from her at this exact moment.

Lane made the best of her situation

Image via Neil Jacobs/Netflix

Despite Rory having almost every opportunity available to her, we find out in Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life that she is making bad decisions (like, er, sleeping with an engaged man) and is struggling to find her way. Lane, on the other hand, has made the best out of the cards she's been dealt. She's still married to Zack, is taking care of her twins, and has even kept music in her life by joining a band. I can't help but think if Lane can forge ahead despite all of her unfortunate circumstances, how fantastic could her life have been if the writers had served her just a little bit more good fortune?

Lane could have served as the role model so many girls needed

Image via Saeed Adyani/Netflix

Lane's experience mirrors many Asian-American girls' lives. She had a strict upbringing and struggled to strike a balance between fitting in with her American peers and forming her own identity, while still trying to manage her mother's expectations of who she should be. As an Asian-American, Lane's experiences mirrored many of my own, and, at a time when there was such little Asian representation, this was extremely impactful.

With the lack of representation at the time, it was even more important that Lane was dealt an ending that she and her viewers could be proud of. Instead of turning her into somewhat of a cautionary tale, her story could have been utilized to empower an audience of individuals who saw themselves in her. For that reason, Lane's treatment on Gilmore Girls will never quite sit right with me.

What do you think about Lane Kim's storyline on Gilmore Girls? Let us know in the comments and check out our guide to Where Is The Gilmore Girls Cast Now? to keep up with your favorite Stars Hollow residents (even if they're not in Stars Hollow anymore).

Lead image via Warner Bros

This post has been updated.