Here’s two questions for you to think about. One is probably quite straightforward to the answer, the other… maybe not so much. Here you go:
National Best Friends Day is a celebration to honor those who hold the title of best friend in our lives. Of course, if you didn’t celebrate the day, or didn’t know about it, that doesn't mean you aren’t a good friend. But perhaps Best Friends Day is a good moment to stop and think about our friends, and especially our best friend. Do we give them what they need? We tend to see the world through the lens of our own personality, our likes and dislikes, and it can be difficult to put ourselves in other people’s shoes. That’s when knowing something about our personality, and how it differs from that of other people, can help.
One really useful framework in building and maintaining relationships goes by the name of “FIRO”, code for “Fundamental Interpersonal Relationships Orientation”. That’s a bit of a mouthful, but it describes what the FIRO does. It measures what you need, and what you show, in your interpersonal relationships. This can help explain why sometimes other people, including our friends, don’t seem to understand us, or give us what we need from them – and why sometimes we don’t understand our friends.
KoolShooters/Pexels
The FIRO framework looks at three different types of interpersonal needs:
The FIRO looks at two different aspects for each of these areas. First, how much of that need is expressed to others, how much of that behavior we initiate to others. For Inclusion, for example, how much do we try to include other people in our activities – your FIRO Expressed Inclusion score. It also looks at how much we want from others.
Karolina Kaboompics/Pexels
That gives scores; Expressed and Wanted Inclusion,Expressed and Wanted Control,Expressed and Wanted Affection. And we can have a high, medium, or low score for each of these six areas.
Helena Lopes/Pexels
So how can this explain why someone might be misunderstood? Well, this can happen when someone’s expressed and wanted scores are different. Let’s look at an example. Joe has high Expressed Inclusion, but low Wanted Inclusion. He wants to involve lots of people in his activities but doesn’t want them to include him in their activities. He’s likely seen by others as outgoing and sociable, but he also has a real need for privacy.
Because people see his high Expressed Inclusion, his friends are likely to invite or include him more than he wants to be, and he’ll refuse some of those invitations – which might leave them feeling hurt or otherwise harm the friendship. But knowing his FIRO profile will give Joe the language to describe his behavior and keep the friendship alive.
Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels
Of course, our interpersonal needs involve other people too. Let’s look at Joe alongside his friend Joan. Joe has high Expressed Inclusion and low Wanted Inclusion. Joan has low Expressed Inclusion and high Wanted Inclusion. This might make for a good relationship. Joe wants to include Joan (high Expressed Inclusion), and she wants to be included (high Wanted Inclusion). Joan doesn’t much want to include other people in her activities (low Expressed Inclusion), and that’s fine with Joe, who doesn’t much want to be included (low Wanted Inclusion).
However, things might be a little different on Affection. Joe has high Expressed Affection and high Wanted Affection. Joan is low on both. Joe wants to be warm and friendly with Joan, to get a connection, but Joan, with low Wanted Affection, doesn’t want that. And Joe is looking for warm and friendly behavior from Joan, which she probably doesn’t want to express. This may be an area where understanding their FIRO results helps them to understand why their relationship may sometimes be strained, and gives them the knowledge they need to make that relationship work.
Karolina Kaboompics/Pexels
So take a moment to think about your relationships, your friendships. Are there places where your best friend doesn’t seem to understand you, or you them? Are there times when they don’t quite seem to give you what you need, or vice versa? Maybe understanding your interpersonal needs, or knowing your FIRO profile, could help.
Subscribe to our newsletter for more relationship tips!
Header image via KoolShooters/Pexels
No matter what kind of day you're having, Marissa Cooper's having a worse one. Mischa Barton's The O.C. character went through the ringer during the first three seasons of the teen drama (remember how she overdosed in Tijuana...and also saw her parents post-hookup after their divorce?).
And during her time on The O.C., Mischa Barton struggled with drug and alcohol abuse. She was arrested for a DUI in 2007 and eventually received involuntary psychiatric hospitalization in 2009 after allegedly threatening to end her own life. And in a new interview, Peter Gallagher (who played Sandy Cohen on the show) says he's "just so grateful" for "the fact that she’s still alive."
Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for FLC/John Lamparski/Getty Images
The O.C. follows Ryan Atwood, who moves in with the Cohens after getting kicked out of his mom's house, and starts a relationship with Marissa shortly after. While Peter Gallagher played Adam Brody's TV dad instead of Mischa's, Sandy was a definitely father figure for Marissa, and it seems like Peter felt that same responsibility off camera.
"I’ve always felt very protective of her," Peter told The Independent. "First fame is toxic. First fame can kill you. She was 16 years old when she started working with us, so just the fact that she’s still alive, I’m just so grateful."
“You can go to therapy every day for the rest of your life,” Mischa said in a 2023 interview with The Sunday Times. “There’s just a certain amount of trauma [from] all that I went through, particularly in my early twenties, that just doesn’t go away overnight.”
Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage revealed that season 1 overdose not only served as a cliffhanger, but gave “network executives an escape hatch on a performer they had been wary about” (via People). But Mischa Barton got her big break, becoming "how people knew the show," and (thankfully) Marissa recovered — only to die after a car crash in season 3.
As hard as that season 3 ending is to watch, Mischa did have the opportunity to watch it with Rachel Bilson and Melinda Clarke for the first time on their rewatch podcast. "It needed to be a thing, after everything she's been through, but if it's here I'll watch it with you," Mischa says.
"I couldn't do it, Mischa, I couldn't do it," Rachel adds. "But I'm going to do it if you're going to do it."
Mischa says even though being written off the show "was a little bit of a bummer," it wasn't necessarily a surprise. "The character was just doing too much," she told Vanity Fairin 2023. "And I think they ran out of places for her to go. It was not the best thing in the world, [but] there wasn’t much you could do at that point. It was whether she could sail off into the sunset, or die. At that point, I guess it’s better to have the more dramatic ending.”Making friends as an adult can be hard, and if you ask me, nothing is harder than having to wade through small talk. Asking about work or how someone's day went makes every interaction feel like a first date. Of course, I want to know about work and how someone's day went — I just want to know more.
The key to making small talk more fun is figuring out what someone likes to talk about. Are they into pop culture? History or sports? Their faith? Once you crack the code on what they love to talk about, your conversation will instantly flow. Here are 11 questions you can ask a new friendthat make small talk feel bigger.
My favorite thing to do when talking to a new friend is to ask them how they spend their time. Because while school and work can have elements of responsibility or obligation, hobbies are pure fun! This is a good question to open your small talk with because it'll help you both loosen up and think about something you love to do. Plus, if you end up learning you share a hobby, you have even more to talk about! (As I discovered during my conversation with author Yulin Kuang!)
If you want your conversation to feel more relaxed, well, ask about relaxation! Whether your new friend does yoga, they spend a half hour doing skincare, or they read a book chapter every night, this question is sure to get a positive response. Speaking of books...
Netflix
There are so many movies, TV shows, and books out right now that you're both bound to be in the middle of one title or another. I can (and do) spend hours upon hours talking about my favorite TV shows. This is one small talk question that can make even the most awkward convo enjoyable.
Netflix
And if the TV conversation goes well, take it a step farther by asking which fictional character your new friend relates to the most. It'll give you a little more insight into their personality, and it's just plain fun.
If you and your acquaintance are both Taylor Swift fans, dive deep into your current eras. Whether you're in your Lover era or you're embracing the carefree chaos of 1989, this is the perfect excuse to queue up your Taylor Swift playlist.
If you're both morning people, you can bond over how nice it is to be the early birds, while two night people will have plenty to talk about when it comes to nightlife or the best places to look at the stars. And if you're opposites, you can give each other tips!
I don't know about y'all, but I refuse to order ice cream unless it's chocolate. I love consistently knowing what to expect. Maybe your new friend feels the same way, or they prefer the spontaneity of ordering a new flavor every single time. Either way, it'll give you a look at their personality AND lead you to the ice cream store. It's a win-win.
My current go-to question was born out of my interview with The Outsiders cast (in honor of character Cherry Valance). My current answer is strawberry for a few simple reasons: you know what you're in for, it can be super sweet, and on a good day, it's the same on the inside at the outside.
It's crazy that we're halfway through 2024! Let the conversation take an exciting turn by remembering something fun, memorable, and beautiful.
But don't spend all your time talking about the past! Think ahead to the second half of the year and talk about a dream or goal you have. It can be as small as finally ordering frames for your gallery wall or as big as scoring a promotion.
Summer's not over yet! Daydream about somewhere you'd like to see one day, like Italy or Seoul. And in the meantime, plan a day trip somewhere close by :).
Read up on 10 Thought-Provoking Questions To Know Close Friends More Intimately for more!
Lead image via Laura Du Vé/Refinery29 Australia for Getty Images
Former Disney Channel star Dylan Sprouse and model Barbara Palvin are certainly living the sweet life after tying the knot in Palvin's native Hungary. The couple, who have been together for nearly five years, have always been pretty low-key — except for the occasional and undeniably adorable Instagram post (and a stunning wedding!). We are simply ~obsessed~ with this celebrity couple, especially after they pulled out all the stops for their couple's Halloween costume. Keep scrolling to see some of their best moments :').
For Halloween Dylan Sprouse and Barbara Palvin stunned as the Phantom and Christine from Phantom of the Opera. Dylan wore a mask and a black cape, while Barbara wore a beautiful white dress. While the costume is obviously a nod to the musical, it also totally reminds us of their day as bride and groom.
"In Sleep He Sang to Me," Barbara said in a post, quoting the musical's titular number. "@dylansprouse my forever Phantom."
On the couple's wedding day (July 15, 2023), Barbara wore a Vivienne Westwood wedding gown to celebrate her Hungarian nuptials, bringing together their nearest and dearest for an intimate(-ish) celebration. Barbara and Dylan tied the knot on her parent's property, which conveniently doubles as an event venue, with plans to host an larger wedding in California in the fall.
"This past weekend was supposed to be an intimate event, but we ended up having 115 guests in the end because there are a lot of people we care about, and we wanted them all to be there," Barbara told Vogue.
After months of speculation surrounding the couple's engagement, Dylan and Barbara confirmed their engagement in conversation with Sprouse's twin brother, actor Cole Sprouse, for V Magazine in June, sharing that they got engaged last September.
"We didn't necessarily feel the need to be fully transparent with the public about that aspect of our engagement," Dylan said. "What we wanted to do with Stephen [Gan, V editor-in-chief] and the V team is make something that was kind of tongue-in-cheek about the nature of private versus public. We're playing with the idea of perception."
Barbara noted that the lovebirds wanted to announce the news "on our time," adding, "When some people leaked the information that we got engaged, our PR team was like, 'Hey, so you guys should do maybe a post about it or talk to this magazine or talk to that magazine…' That really annoyed me because I knew we were building this story up. So, I'm very happy that we ended up doing it our way."
Sean Zanni / Stringer / Getty Images Entertainment
See Dylan Sprouse & Barbara Palvin's Dreamy Halloween Costume: "My Forever"According to People, the couple met back in 2017 after a party when the Suite Life On Deck star slid into the model’s DMs (and as they say, the rest is history). The duo made their relationship Instagram official back in 2018 with Barbara’s sweet birthday tribute for Dylan’s 26th birthday.
Let’s be real here for a second though, we all knew they were endgame the minute Dylan went above and beyond to support Barbara at the Victoria Secret Fashion Show that same year (remember this viral video?). Three days after the fashion show, the Hungarian model told Vogue Australia that she hadn’t had a boyfriend in six years, but had now found “the perfect guy” in Dylan (we aren’t crying, you are).
Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images
Barbara Palvin was born on October 8, 1993, making her 31 years old. Dylan Sprouse was born on August 4, 1992, meaning he's 32 years old. So there's only a one-year age gap between them!
Stay up to date with all of Brit + Co's favorite celebrity relationships. Let us know your thoughts on Twitter!
This post has been updated.
2017's The Beguiled gave us one of the best groups of people of all time: Elle Fanning, Nicole Kidman, Sofia Coppola, and Kirsten Dunst just to name a few. And we're finally getting an Elle and Nicole reunion thanks to Apple TV+! "THRILLED to bring @rufithorpe genius hysterical heart-wrenching heartwarming book to your TV screens alongside a dream group of people!" Elle says on Instagram. Rather than having to test the success of its pilot, the series has already been ordered — even though the book it's based on isn't even out yet! Here's everything you need to know about the series.
Amy Sussman/Mike Coppola/Getty Images
We couldn't contain our excitement when we learned Margo's Got Money Troubles will star Nicole Kidman and Elle Fanning, but knowing Michelle Pfeiffer is also joining the cast is too much to bear! This is the first time the actress will collaborate with her husband, TV creator David E. Kelley, so we can't wait to see the magic they'll create (via Deadline).
Nick Offerman from The Last of Us and Parks and Rec will also star.
We don't have an official release date for Elle Fanning and Nicole Kidman's TV show yet. I'm thinking if the TV show is in the early stages of planning, we could see it in 2025! Check out all of this year's best New TV Shows to hold you over until then.
Amazon
Margo Millet is the daughter of a Hooter's waitress named Shyanne (Michelle Pfeiffer) and an ex-wrestler (via Deadline). She's always had to make it on her own, even though she's not sure how. When she enrolls in her local junior college, she's totally unprepared to get swept up into a torrid love affair with her English professor — or to get pregnant.
Now at 20 years old, Margo needs an income and fast. She decides to experiment with OnlyFans and ends up taking some of her estranged father's advice from the world of wrestling to create a character users will fall in love with. You can order the book now!
Margo's Got Money Troubles is coming soon to Apple TV+ thanks to a bunch of different producers. A24 is backing the film, as well as Elle and Dakota Fanning’s production company Lewellen Pictures and Nicole Kidman’s Blossom Films, to name a few.
Focus Features
Elle Fanning and Nicole Kidman starred in 2017's The Beguiled. The movie follows John McBurney, an injured Union soldier, who winds up at a female Southern boarding school after deserting the Civil War. But soon, as the women help him, tensions turn to rivalries and friends turn to enemies.
Are you excited for Elle Fanning and Nicole Kidman's TV reunion? Let us know what other New TV Shows you're watching in the comments.
Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.
This post has been updated.
