How to Apply Dating Advice to Your Job Search (and Vice Versa!)

First dates can often feel like job interviews, which makes sense since they're both about finding a great match. And both can be a struggle until you find the "one." "People can go into the job interview process, and these days the dating process too with the online dating apps, and it can become a laborious, not fun process," says Camille Virginia, author of The Offline Dating Method, who crossed over from the corporate world as an employee engagement consultant to the dating world as an offline dating expert. So how do you get past the swipe or a LinkedIn convo and go deeper to see if this person is someone you want in your life for the long run, whether that's a new boss or a new bae? Here are tips for getting both.

Take a chance. "Even if you don't have all the qualifications or you're not feeling confident about applying, or maybe you think someone is out of your league, just go for it," says Virginia. Most people don't really know what they're looking for (in a partner or job) until they see it/you. Hiring managers are looking for a great personality fit as much as they are looking to check off a job description, same goes for people looking for their perfect someone. The idea of "perfect" is overrated and unrealistic. If you connect that's all that matters so why not make the first move?

Don't just talk about yourself. OK, now you're in the room, what next? Try to make a connection as opposed to leading with your qualifications or talking only about yourself. "Ask questions that you authentically care about. So often we get into a job interview or get on a date and we ask the same questions and it's so boring," says Virginia. Here are a few ice breakers she suggests:

Job Interview:

What's your favorite part about working here?

Date equivalent:

What's your favorite part about your job?

Job Interview:

How would you describe the culture at the office here?

Date equivalent:

How would you describe how you were raised or how you came to this city?

Job Interview:

What's been your biggest lesson you've learned at the company?

Date equivalent:

What's been the biggest or one of the biggest lessons you've learned in life?

Have fun with it too. The more fun you have asking the question the more fun they're going to be to answer. "You're going to be instantly memorable because they didn't get asked the same question they've been asked 20 times before on dates or in interviews," says Virginia.

Listen. Turn off your phone in both situations and give the person your full attention, letting the conversation unfold naturally. "When you can give someone your full attention, even just for 30 seconds or a couple of minutes, no matter what interaction is going on there, potential date, potential job interview, then you're going to make them feel good," she says.

Wear something you feel confident in. Give them a taste of your personality in what you wear, even if it's just a pop of color or pattern. "It could be something personal like vintage jewelry that means something to you, something that other people can comment on or they'll remember about you and makes you feel like you aren't just wearing the generic pants suit," says Virginia. Wearing something that stands out is a great way to break the ice in a job interview and be remembered once you leave the room or restaurant.

Get offline. You're going to double your chances, if not triple or quadruple them if you network offline, says Virginia. And you're probably going to enjoy the process a lot more. "With dating and offline dating it's really just about interacting by creating micro moments with people as you go about your day and seeing who you connect with." Places to meet offline? Virginia scored a boyfriend and a job on a plane (different flights, of course). "In terms of dating offline, this happens everywhere you go. It's at the grocery store. It's walking down the street. It's the dog park. It's the post office, bank. Wherever you are, there is the opportunity to date offline."

At networking events, go with that confidence piece again to stand out from the crowd. A hiring manager who may have "swiped" over your resume may be so impressed with you in person that they may make the next move, ahem, and ask you to come in for an interview.

Go in with an open mind. Many couples would say they ended up with someone they never expected. You can never predict who you'll spark with and same goes for a job you might end up loving because the people are awesome. "Don't mold other people or jobs or interviewers into what you want. Look at who they are as they're showing up. Go into the interview or the date warm," says Virginia. By going in with an open mind, you'll probably have a better time too, even if it's not an ultimate match. "We remember emotions, not things that we read that are logical. We tend to go with our gut even if we're not qualified 100% for a job." Or not what we expected in a future love.

Look around you and be open to who presents themselves—you got this!

With the holidays now approaching almost eerily quickly, you might already be feeling slightly uneasy about the family stresses that are bound to be on your plate (along with delicious Christmas cookies, of course). Spending a lot of time face-to-face with family can dig up old arguments or squabbles that everyone may have forgotten during the rest of the year.

Learn the 8 best ways to support your friend while they're in the middle of family drama

You’re not the only one dealing with the drama, though, and while your own family issues might feel somewhat out of your control, there might be more you can do to take the edge off the stress that your friends are feeling in anticipation of holiday gatherings. Keep scrolling for eight expert tips for how to best offer support to your most stress-ridden BFFs.

1. Listen without judging if your friend reveals an ongoing argument about a family will

RDNE Stock project

Being a good listener is one of the most basic — and yet most important — things you can do as a friend 365 days of the year, but when tensions run high near the holidays, those listening skills become all the more crucial. You might even consider resisting the urge to speak, like, at all. “Be a good listener and don’t give advice,” licensed marriage and family therapist Katie Ziskind says. “Supporting someone doesn’t mean that you have to fix their problem. Instead, truly being supportive means giving a hug when someone is crying and being a caring friend.”

2. Prep your pal to expect drama if your uncle's invited his new girlfriend and ex to dinner

Rather than reassuring your friend that things at family celebrations may not be as bad as they fear, trust what they know about the situation and help them wrap their head around what’s to come. This should minimize the stress for them in the long run. “If you expect it and it happens, situation normal,” certified life coach Susan Golicic tells us. “If you expect it and it doesn’t, well, then, a bonus!”

3. Help your bestie make a plan in case their fight-or-flight mode gets triggered

Going into any situation with a plan almost always feels better than going in unprepared. Per writer, speaker, and healing expert Alisa Zipursky, a helpful plan might include specific check-in times, a code word that indicates your friend needs extra support, and ideas for creating healthy boundaries with family members who make them feel especially triggered. “The idea is to make asking for help as easy as possible,” Zipursky says. “Making sure a proactive plan is in place well before someone enters the stressful situation can help relieve some of the anticipatory anxiety.”

4. Check in often by sending your friend periodic texts 

Licensed counselor Maria Inoa recommends that you prioritize regular touch-base texts over the course of whatever event is causing your friend the most stress. It’s not about solving the conflicts or taking away their pain. Instead, you can focus on offering gentle reminders that you are thinking of them and are available if they need you.

5. Create a new tradition that revolves around you and and your bestie's favorite Christmas movies

If your friend’s family holiday celebrations don’t exactly inspire positive feelings about the occasion, why not help them establish some better associations? Licensed clinical professional counselor Anna Poss suggests planning a “low-stress, fun way to celebrate with each other before or after the actual holiday.” Get a seasonal movie night or cookie swap on the calendar before everyone leaves town to hang with family. Those cozy vibes may help dull the negative, anxious feelings.

6. Write down words of affirmations for them to look at

Photo By: Kaboompics.com

Grab some pretty stationery and put your love and support on paper for your BFF. “In the note, remind her how strong, courageous, and capable she is,” licensed psychotherapist and life coach Diane Petrella says. “Let her know how much you love and admire her and how grateful you are for her friendship. Write whatever you think your friend needs to hear to feel supported, grounded, and loved.” Remind her to hide the note in her pocket or bag so she can read it whenever she needs a little extra TLC over the course of the holidays. You can even go one step further and send them home with a care package, per therapistShannon Thomas.

7. Invite your friend to your family celebration

If things have gotten so bad with your bestie’s family that she wants to steer clear of their celebrations entirely, you may want to invite her to join you and your crew instead. Even if she opts to decline your invitation, it will mean a lot to her to know that she has choices. If your friend does take you up on the offer, Mountainside Treatment Center‘s family wellness manager Tina Muller recommends that you try to incorporate some of her favorite traditions into your holiday schedule.

8. Keep your phone nearby if your friend needs to talk about everything that happened

Photo By: Kaboompics.com

“Before an event with possible family issues even happens, schedule a time not long after to see the friend,” marriage and family therapist Sarah Epstein suggests. “Now you’ve become the light at the end of the tunnel for them.” Be prepared to be a listening ear over dinner or a workout session so your pal can vent about everything that’s gone on and (hopefully) be ready to move on from there.

How do you and your pals support each other through the not-so-fun parts of the holidays? Tweet us @BritandCo.

(Photo via Getty)

If there's one thing about Gilmore Girls fans you can count on, it's their passion. They love the quirky one liners, memorable moments, and are usually either Team Jess or Team Logan (sorry Dean...). Give any Gilmore Girls lover in your life the chance to transport themselves to Stars Hollow this holiday season — without having to make the trek to Washington, Connecticut or the Warner Bros. stage in Hollywood. These Gilmore Girls gift ideas are fun, thoughtful, and very cozy, which are also three hallmarks of the series itself! From a coffee mug that Luke Danes would approve of to the perfect gifts for Taylor Swift fans, this Gilmore Girlsgift guide will make you say "Oy with the poodles already!"

Keep reading for 24 Gilmore Girls-themed gift ideas for 2024.

Amazon

The Third Gilmore Girl: A Memoir

Get all the behind the scenes info you could ever dream of when you pick up Kelly Bishop's new memoir!

Hot Topic

Loungefly Gilmore Girls Icons Mini Backpack

I was absolutely gagged the first time I saw this backpack. Tiny pizza slices, both the Luke's Diner and Chilton logos, AND the gazebo? I need this, like, right now.

Sunday Best

Sunday Best Peggy Sweater

Consider this white cable knit sweaterthe Rory Gilmore sweater for the season. I cannot stop wearing mine. It's super soft and the perfect medium weight (meaning you won't be cold but you also won't feel weighed down). It's also not itchy at all. I love wearing it with jeans, or tucked into trousers or a skirt.

Amazon

Cotton Baseball Hat

For a more subtle nod to the fashion on the show, a blue baseball cap gives major Luke Danes vibes without having to walk around wearing Gilmore Girls merchandise. Wear it with a crewneck and oversized coat now (hello '90s "It" girl!) and a tee shirt come spring.

Book of the Month

Book of the Month

Channel your inner Rory with the Book of the Month subscription service. The cool part about someone else picking out the books is that you'll find titles — and authors — you didn't even know to look for.

Nordstrom

Espresso Martini Statement Earrings

It wouldn't be an episode of Gilmore Girls without a cup of coffee, or a martini at one of Richard and Emily's Friday night dinners. Combine the two iconic beverages with these statement earrings! They're bold, they're quirky, and they'll be the talk of all your holiday parties.

Etsy

Stars Hollow "Autumn Festival" Travel Poster

Nothing screams Stars Hollow like a festival, and this autumnal poster celebrates the best parts of small town life. Whether you choose to display it in a gallery wall or on a bookshelf, you'll feel like you're coming home every time you look at it.

Etsy

Luke's Diner Mug

With a Luke's Diner mug, you can pretend you really are in Stars Hollow. Bonus points if you're also having a big stack of pancakes!

Etsy

Gilmore Iced Coffee Glass Cup

If you're more of an iced coffee fan, even in the winter (I wonder what Luke would have to say about that?), grab a glass with a super cute design. Not only do I love that Rory and Lorelai are featured in the design, but the color palette is beautiful, too!

Maisonette

Gina White Poodle

Getting your little into the Gilmore Girls spirit? They definitely need a lovable stuffed dog. Again I say, "Oy with the poodles already!"

Handker Bandanas

Colorful Bandana

For another low-key nod to the ultimate BFF's, grab a bandana in your favorite color (like this one that uses untreated, non-GMO cotton!). In true Y2K fashion, Sookie and Lorelai wear bandanas throughout the show, so this is a super fun way to incorporate their style into your own closet this winter.

Etsy

Dragonfly Necklace

A delicate dragonfly necklace is a beautiful layering piece that will add summer cheer to the dreariest of winter days and remind you of Dragonfly Inn at the same time. The fact that dragonflies represent new beginnings is just the cherry on top.

Etsy

Gilmore Girl Eras Shirt

Have you been binging Gilmore Girls during the day and watching Eras Tour TikTok livestreams at night? This T-shirt has your name written all over it. My personal favorite detail is that Kirk is in the debut square.

Etsy

Stars Hollow Christmas Festival Sweatshirt

There's nothing like layering a turtleneck, a crewneck, and a bunch of jewelry for a trip to your corner coffee shop, so swap your go-to crewneck for this festive Stars Hollow one! The gazebo is instantly recognizable for Gilmore Girls fans and just looking at the design makes me want to say, "I smell snow."

Walmart

Gilmore Girls: Complete Series Collection

One of my favorite Christmas presents in recent years was the full Gilmore Girls DVD set. This 42-disc DVD set has every single episode and even more hours of unaired clips, behind the scenes features, and episode commentaries. I'm geeking out just thinking about it.

Amazon

Gilmore Girls: The Official Cookbook

Gilmore Girls recipes are always delicious, and always pretty easy (after all, Lorelai and Rory basically only eat takeout and Luke's!). The official cookbook will let you put your own spin on the food you seen onscreen, and then you can have a truly meta experience by eating your meal while you watch the Gilmores eat theirs.

Amazon

Gilmore Girls: Trivia Deck and Episode Guide

Tried-and-true Gilmore Girls fans will love diving into this trivia book. Because this game (which features 200 questions) has an 88-page episode guide and goes through every. Single. Episode. Worth it!

Amazon

Gilmore Girls: At Home in Stars Hollow

TBH, I think kids books are great for book lovers of any age. The art and simple storytelling really get my creative juices flowing. At Home In Stars Hollow will make you (or a family member or friend) love Gilmore Girls in a whole new way!

Cande Craft Company

Stars Hollow Scented Candle

This all-natural soy candle has every scent a Gilmore Girls fan will love: coffee, sweet cream, and vanilla. It's cozy and balances sweet and bitter in a really intoxicating way.

Amazon

Lorelai and Rory Gilmore Plush

Okay, I'll be honest. I want these plushes for myself! The design is a hilarious nod to the season one episode "The Lorelais' First Day At Chilton" and even features a tiny coffee mug and tiny book!

Rock Em Socks

Gilmore Girls Socks

Now that we're in knee-high boot season (which I FINALLY bought), I like to wear super fun, colorful, and chaotic socks. Grab a pack of Gilmore Girls socks to take some Stars Hollow magic with you no matter where you go.

Etsy

Gilmore Girls Themed Blind Date with a Book

For this bookish blind date, you'll receive a Rory-themed read, a tea bag, a bookmark, and stickers. You really can't go wrong.

Favorite Child

Stars Hollow Books Tote Bag

Carrying your favorite books in a tote bag with the Stars Hollow Books logo feels like it's meant to be.

Amazon

Have I Told You This Already?: Stories I Don't Want to Forget to Remember

Lauren Graham's collection of essays will give you a glimpse behind the curtain as she offers thoughtful stories about life, aging, and the industry.

Which gifts from this Gilmore Girls gift guide will you be buying for your friends (or yourself)? Let us know in the comments!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

This post has been updated.

Emily Blunt and John Krasinski are at the top of my personal #relationshipgoals list because they're my real life Jim and Pam from The Office. I'm sure that sounds cheesy, but I'm willing to flex my hopeless romantic muscles when it comes to their love story. It's not like they make it hard for me to gush over them.

Whether it's thinking about the way they first met, or the epic way they made A Quiet Place together in spite of 'advice' that tried to spell their demise, Emily Blunt and John Krasinski have a unified relationship that gives me butterflies. Here's a definitive timeline of these two love birds' relationship!

Scroll down to get all the adorable details on Emily Blunt & John Krasinski!

How many children do Emily Blunt and John Krasinski have?

Ilya S. Savenok/Getty Images

The couple has two daughters together — Hazel, 10, and Violet, 7. They confirmed their first pregnancy with Hazel in 2013 and only announced the arrival of Violet after she was born in 2016.

Sarah Stier/Getty Images

On September 7, John Krasinski, Emily Blunt and their daughters showed up to the US Open. Hazel wore a white US Open cap while Emily and John opted for black hats. Violet stood out with her hair in a ponytail & bow.

What have Emily Blunt and John Krasinski said about their daughters?

Cindy Ord/Getty Images

John told Peoplein 2020 that becoming a father has been one of the biggest changes in his life. He said, "“I went through some really serious stuff...There is a mirror that is held up to me now. You have someone watching you. You have to lead by example.” He also said he's been able to see his parents' perspectives now that he's raising children.

Emily told Harper's Bazaar UK last year that their daughters are a top priority for her. It's why she carves out time to be with them as much as possible when working. She said, "...even though they’re...used to this strange life, it’s still rough on them when I have to go away." As a working mom, I can only imagine how difficult it is for actors and actresses to explain to their kids why they have to go away for periods of time.

She went on to say, "There are cornerstones of the girls’ day that I don’t want to compromise on – like, will you wake me up, take me to school...It’s such an exhale for me to be able to do that."

When Did Emily Blunt and John Krasinski meet?

Amy Sussman/Getty Images

Emily appeared on A Late Night with Seth Meyers in 2018 and admitted their first meeting was fairly casual. She said, "...it's just kind of lame. I mean, I was in a restaurant. He was in the restaurant." She then says something that made me giggle. "This is our romantic comedy! This is it. Write it," said Emily.

From there, she talks about how their mutual friend spotted John and the way her future husband made her laugh when he came to the table. As simple as that sounds, I think the best love stories don't always have an overly dazzling beginning. Sometimes it's really the small interactions that touch the heart.

And as for John's perspective on the meeting? Well, he told PEOPLE for the Sexiest Man Alive issue that he fell for Emily "the second he met her." The star said, "I don't know what happened, but I remember someone introduced us, and it was across a room in a restaurant, and I walked over to her, and as soon as I shook her hand, I just knew." OKAY, BRB SOBBING. 😭❤️

When did Emily Blunt and John Krasinski start dating?

Amy Sussman/Getty Images

They've never shared an official timeline for their first date, but we're pretty sure it didn't take long for Emily Blunt and John Krasinski to have their first date after meeting in 2008. They don't agree on who asked who out first, but the couple told The Hollywood Reporter in 2018 that they basically hung out at John's apartment and ate pizza. I always say the best way to know if you really like someone is if you enjoy being around them doing something that's considered mundane — like eating pizza and watching movies.

When did Emily Blunt and John Krasinski get married?

Mike Coppola/Getty Images

Less than a year after dating, Emily Blunt and John Krasinski got engaged! A rep told People, "We can confirm that John and Emily are engaged."

They were engaged for almost a year before "jumping the broom" in 2010 and had an exclusive wedding at fellow actor George Clooney's house! Funny enough, John was hesitant about having their wedding there and told Elle, "Only on the fourth ask did I say yes. Because the first three times I thought, There's no way he is serious. But I started to see his feelings get hurt."

What have Emily Blunt and John Krasinski said about their relationship?

Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images for Critics Choice Association

John admitted to Glamour in 2018 that he'd watched The Devil Wears Prada over 50 times. "I’m lucky enough that she stayed with me and didn’t realize that she had really married her stalker," he said.

Emily gushed about her husband by telling InStylein 2021, "When I feel the support that I have from him, I feel invincible. There's someone behind you on your good days and someone in front of you on your bad days."

Why did Emily Blunt and John Krasinski decide to work on "A Quiet Place" together?

John Phillips/Getty Images

When it was announced that Emily Blunt and John Krasinski were working on their first film together, A Quiet Place, I was beyond excited. Of their experience on set together, John admitted to Peoplein 2018 that he had a lot of fun working with Emily. He said, “I’ve never have loved my wife more than after we did this movie...We were really honest with each other from the beginning."

And when Emily won the award for Best Supporting Actress at the 25th Annual SAG Awards in 2019, she had nothing but positive things to say about John. She said, "I am going to share this completely with my husband, John Krasinski, because the entire experience of doing this with you has completely pierced my heart directly...You are a stunning filmmaker..."

How have Emily Blunt and John Krasinski supported each other's careers?

Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Now that Emily is getting ready for the debut of The Fall Guy alongside Ryan Gosling, she can't help but to talk about how John influenced her to lean into her latest role. She recently told People, "I am married to a director, I know what it's like to hold the tempest of the movie in your head and the pressures and being pulled in a million directions."

John's also grateful that he has a wife like Emily. He told Paradein 2022, "On a daily basis, but certainly in a career-wise, as a dad, she pushes me to be better every single day at everything I do. So I look forward to the next day cause I know it'll be better than the one before."

Sigh. Excuse me — I'll be somewhere crying about the way these two have shown up for each other over the years.

Follow us on Facebook for more celebrity couple updates!

Lead image via Amy Sussman/Getty Images

This post has been updated.

Angelina Jolie has always been mother — but she's also a literal mother to six kids whom she clearly cares about fiercely. Since she first adopted Zahara, Maddox, and Pax to giving birth to Vivienne and Knox, it's always been evident that her children are her entire world. While she rarely talks about her children (especially given her highly contested divorce at the moment), Angelina shared a little slice of her feelings on motherhood, insights on her children, and more with Good Morning America.

Here's what Angelina Jolie had to say about her kids — including which one of them is the most private!

www.youtube.com

- YouTube

Angelina opened up about her feelings for her family while chatting about her new movie Maria with Good Morning Americaon November 21, 2024. Host Michael Strahan asked Angie about if there's anything she loves as much as her character loves singing, and she replied that it's her "motherhood."

"It’s my happiness. You can take everything else away from me," she said. "I could — nothing else matters."

When asked about her sons' involvement in Maria, Angelina explained that despite their involvement behind the scenes, they're very uninterested in a life in the spotlight. She said, "None of my children want to be in front of the camera. They're quite private."

Angelina elaborated, "Shiloh's extremely private. They weren't born with privacy, so I hope they can have that."

This interview comes after Angelina and Knox attended the Governor's Awards with her on November 18, 2024. His rare appearance shocked so many — including Brad. Daily Mail reported that Pitt found the timing "suspicious."

The source said, "'She is trying to get under his skin after his recent win and using Knox to do so is odd. Knox wants nothing to do with Hollywood and has no communication with Brad."

Despite the weirdness, the source also said, "He [Brad] believes that, in time, his children will come back into his life."

How many kids does Angelina Jolie have?

Angelina Jolie has six children. She adopted Zahara, Maddox, and Pax, and later gave birth to Vivienne and Shiloh. She shares her children with Brad Pitt, most of whom aren't on good terms with him at the moment.

Looking for more celebrity news? Be sure to follow us on Facebook so you never miss a thing!

Just how expensive is it to have a baby in 2024? One woman sharing her experience on social media has sparked a much-needed conversation about financial transparency when it comes to starting (or growing) a family.

Josephine Anderson, who posted a video on her Instagram @fosterthevalley, outlined the costs of her uncomplicated vaginal birth, and TBH, it was shocking.

The financial breakdown of her experience (with Cigna for insurance):

  • Routine office visits (including 2 ultrasounds): $1,266
  • Labs: $3,440.81
  • NIPT genetic testing: $15,319.36
  • Anatomy scan: $1,270
  • RhoGam: $360
  • Hospital for mom: $23,722.10
  • Hospital for baby: $7,402.80
  • OBGYN for delivery: $5,000
  • Epidural: $5,720
  • Breastfeeding support: $2,589.78
  • Pediatrician: $209
That all racks up to a whopping total of $66,299.85. After insurance was factored in (her deductible was $3,000 while her max out-of-pocket for in-network expenses was $11,000), the total cost for her uncomplicated vaginal birth was $4,788.98. Forbes Advisor reports the average cost of having a baby in 2024 is $2,854.

Instagram

Josephine’s video warranted thousands of comments, most of which were appalled by the costs of her experience:

“This needs to be shared in SexEd classes,” one commenter wrote.

“The US medical system is BROKEN,” another said.

“And people are still confused why more women are choosing to remain child free… we literally can’t afford it,” another user commented.

Mart Production / PEXELS

Brit + Co spoke with Wendy Colson RN, IBCLC and CEO/Founder of BOOBIE Superfoods to gauge if Josephine’s costs were typical for the care she received. Colson has significant insight into how insurance works not only from an employer’s perspective, but from personal experience as a patient with breast cancer.

“The $4,788.98 net amount she mentions is realistic given that her deductible was $3,000. If she had chosen a plan with a $1,000 deductible – which is a common ceiling for good coverage – the same scenario would have cost her around $2,789,” Colson said. “The video highlights the importance of understanding what you're getting with an insurance plan, especially when you anticipate major life events like childbirth.”

Sarah Chai / PEXELS

Colson primarily attributes unanticipated costs for medical care (like in Josephine’s case) to patients that choose their insurance plans with, well, no real plan.

“Many [people] opt for the [plan] with the lowest paycheck deductions without fully evaluating the benefits,” Colson said.

There’s often a tradeoff between paying less per paycheck and receiving your desired benefits: for example, if you elect to contribute less money towards your insurance per paycheck, you may end up paying more out of pocket for things like doctor’s office visits and prescriptions.

“Making an informed choice is key to saving money in the long run,” Colson continued. “In short, it's crucial to consider both the immediate costs (like paycheck deductions) and the potential future costs (like deductibles and copays) when choosing an insurance plan.”

Anna Shvets / PEXELS

Another major cost Josephine mentions in her video was 12 weeks of unpaid maternity leave, which cost her a total of $18,000 (in lost income).

Per the passing of the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) in 1993, moms have a legal right to up to 12 weeks of unpaid maternity leave. The U.S. Department of Labor notes that the act was designed to help employees balance their work and family responsibilities, accommodate the legitimate interests of employers, and promote equal employment opportunity for men and women.

Matilda Wormwood / PEXELS

It all sounds great until you realize the time off is indeed unpaid, which doesn't really aid in the amount of money parents end up owing after all is said and done in the pregnancy and childbirth processes.

Only 13 states plus the District of Columbia offer paid maternity leave. When you compare the United States’ laws to that of other industrialized nations, they don’t exactly measure up.

Colson says Sweden’s maternity leave policy is “one of the most generous,” offering 390 days of paid parental leave (shared between parents) and 80% of wages covered for a significant portion of the leave. In Germany, mothers are entitled to 14 weeks of maternity leave plus a tax-free, income-based allowance straight from their insurance provider.

Jonathan Borba / PEXELS

Though it’s likely that US laws will never be that generous in terms of paid maternity leave, there are a few things you can do to make the blow of medical costs hurt a little less, says Colson.

“My advice is to be your own advocate,” she says. “If you’re planning to have a baby, start by understanding what your state provides in terms of paid leave to avoid surprises after delivery.”

To keep the cost of having your baby (if you’re planning to have one) transparent and free of surprises, Colson recommends:

  • Asking your physician’s office for a detailed breakdown of insurance billing codes, including:
    • Office visits
    • Lab work
    • Epidural (and the anesthesiologist’s separate fee)
    • Hospital admissions
    • Specialist consultations during admission
    • Optional procedures like circumcision, if desired
  • Email the insurance billing codes to your insurance provider, who can help calculate your out-of-pocket costs and deductible

“Having a baby is priceless,” Colson says. “By planning ahead – understanding your insurance options, healthcare costs, and available benefits – you can ensure peace of mind and focus on what truly matters: your growing family.”

Subscribe to our newsletter for more stories!