What Innovation Looks Like for Black and Latinx Female Founders

7 Times You Should Never Send A Venmo Request

1. You don't always have to Venmo request someone for their coffee. Gasp!

I can't believe we're living in the land of $9 lattes, so I totally understand not being able to cover the tab every single time you meet a friend at a coffee shop. But if you haven't seen a friend in a long time, or, dare I say, you know they're struggling (whether it be emotionally or financially), cover the bill y'all! And if someone has opened their home to you? A coffee is the perfect thank you.

2. Don't ask to be paid back for small, generous favors.

Getting into the weeds of every little penny will turn any enjoyable activity into a nightmare. "I had a college friend who would Venmo request every person in the car for gas money when we would drive to the grocery store," one anonymous Brit + Co reader says. "Like girl, don’t offer to drive 15 minutes then."

A Reddit user also points out that asking to be paid back for a cheap favor can come off as rude. "$10 is less than 1 hour minimum wage," they says. "$30 maybe. $50 absolutely. If this became a habit, then sure. But you don't see each other regularly."

3. Don't send a Venmo request if you're helping someone who's sick.

If you've offered to help out a sick friend who can barely get out of bed, it's probably not appropriate to charge them for things like medicine, water bottles, and soup.

4. Definitely don't ask for money if you offered to cover the cost in the first place.

When I went to a movie and a friend offered to cover my soda? So kind! When they texted me the next day to ask I send them money? I was a little taken aback. I didn't mind paying for my own drink, of course, but I would have also appreciated some clearer communication...

5. Maybe don't send a Venmo charge if your friend is being generous in other areas.

I have to admit that I never realized how expensive it is to host friends. Well, one Reddit user explains that when they hosted some friends, and offered them food, one guest ended up sending a charge to cover just a couple of dollars.

"This is after I hosted her and was very generous with my time, home, and food," they say. "Charging me for crappy cheap grocery store muffins and a soda just feels like a slap in my face."

6. Do NOT send a Venmo request just to be passive aggressive.

Just like the idea that "it's only weird if you make it weird," relationships can get messy if you let them. Case in point: money situations aren't the time to be passive aggressive.

"I once quit my job at the college coffee shop to help open a local cafe and my former boss at the college...made me feel so bad for taking the new job, like I was betraying everyone," says photographer Brittany Melissa. "He randomly sent me a Venmo request charging me $1 for emotional stress. I cried. I ended up paying it and told him it upset me and then he sent a Venmo paying me $1.50 'for causing you emotional distress.'"

7. And you shouldn't send a Venmo request if you're just avoiding confrontation.

Friendship really is all about communication, and when you find yourself splitting a bill, make it clearer for everyone and actually discuss who's paying what.

"I’ve had friends in the past Venmo request me for food or for when we go out rather than messaging me & I feel like as a friend & someone I know & when dealing with money, it’s kinder to ask for the money rather than Venmo requesting," Brit + Co reader AspenGrace Ricks says. "When requesting on Venmo, it feels like there is more of an obligation to do it."

3 Times Venmo Requests Are Totally Appropriate

1. It's okay to send a Venmo request when you have communal living needs.

If you live with friends, there's no way to avoid the fact you'll be using some of the same products (unless you buy two of everything). My roommate and I go back and forth on things like toilet paper and paper towels, but when it comes to items like the folding table we just ordered for Thanksgiving — yeah girl, send that Venmo request.

2. Feel free to send a request if you're running their errands.

Listen, as someone who's in a very happy relationship with my Instacart, I understand not having time to grocery shop. But (unless you find yourself in the aforementioned "small, generous favors" situation) if you're already at the store and a friend asked you to pick up a few things just because they're short on time, I think it's totally okay to ask for them to chip in.

But if you want to give them the favor out of the kindness of your heart and cover the cost? It'll make their day!

3. Going on a roadtrip means splitting roadtrip travel essentials.

I know the internet can have some differing opinions on what "essentials" mean, but I'm talking, like, the cost of a rental car. If your friend group is splitting the ride, then everyone should absolutely split the cost. And if you ask me, the same goes for gas money!

4. Send a Venmo request if your bill had to be on one credit card.

We've probably all been there: your 6-person bill arrives to the table (where you were all very respectful and kind to your waiter RIGHT?!) and no one wants to pick up the tab. If you end up swooping in to save the day, and you've all agreed to pay your own way, take a picture of the receipt and send those Venmo requests. Dinner ain't cheap!

What is the 4B Movement?

According to The Washington Post, this is a "radical Korean feminist movement that swears off men to reclaim a sense of agency." It sounds similar to abstinence, but the trickle down effects are vastly different. Abstinence is taking a step back from anything that usually taps into your pleasure center — and that doesn't always mean sex. However, the 4B Movement is specifically rooted in 'de-centering men' completely.

CBSstates that researchers Jieun Lee and Euisol Jeong wrote a paper for Yonsei University about the movement, and deciphered that the "B" has four meanings:

1. biyeonae — "refusal of dating men"
2. bisekseu — "sexual relationships with men"
3. bihon — "heterosexual marriage"
4. bichulsan — "childbirth"

How did the 4B movement start?

In 2016, Hankyoreh reported that a man in his 30's chose to stab an unknown young woman in Seoul, Korea. When asked why he committed the crime, he gave this answer: "I did it because women have always ignored me." In response to the random attack, Hong Seong-su, a law professor at Sookmyung Women’s University, share a chilling message that the outlet recounted in the article. "The fact that [Kim] chose ‘some woman’ [as opposed to ‘some person’] as the target for his crime suggests it is not going too far to view this as a crime of hate against women."

This radical moment was an inception point for the movement overall, started in opposition to this gender-based violence, as well as gender-based discrimination as a whole. The Korean Herald noted that factors like pay inequality and a Donald Trump-like president of their own (Yoon Suk-yeol) were driving forces in 4B. Since his election in 2022, Yoon Suk-yeol has "promised to abolish the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family, which has been popular with his anti-feminist base," (via Korean Herald). Between all this and the global sensation of #MeToo, the 4B Movement gained major momentum throughout the last eight years.

The 4B Movement's Lasting Impact In South Korea

According to The Korean Herald, over 150 elementary schools aren't seeing first-graders walk through their doors and it has everything to do with the falling birth rate in South Korea. CNN reports that officials are so concerned, they're willing to do something to combat it. President Yoon Suk Yeol said, "We will mobilize all of the nation’s capabilities to overcome the low birth rate, which can be considered a national emergency."

But, this isn't the first time the birth rate has been addressed. Another CNN article reported that South Korea dished out $200 billion to "boost the population over the past 16 years." Still, things haven't worked in the government's favor. It's evident less women are having children and it seems to directly stem from women upholding the ideology they're not allowing their bodies to be used for motherhood anymore.

American Women's Response To The 4B Movement

After the shocking results of the 2024 presidential election, many women began to rethink how they relate to the men in their lives, finding South Korea's 4B Movement in the process. Based on the current rhetoric about women who don't have children and the restrictive anti-abortion laws with hardly any policies in place to reduce the maternal mortality rate, it's understandable why some women are fearful or fed up — and why many women are now finding parallels to what sparked 4B in the first place.

When you see people like Nicholas J. Fuentes tweeting things like "Your body, my choice. Forever," on the same day Trump won a second term as president, it can leave a sickening taste in one's mouth. One user's response to this was, "Funny how the loudest champions of 'freedom' are often the first to undermine it for everyone else."

Alongside this are men's social movements that are clearly intertwined with the current political climate, too. While obviously not all men believe in these ideologies, there's been a stark rise in their prevalence.

In 2020, ADL reported about the mindset of "Incels" and discovered that they feel emboldened by the 'manosphere.' So, what do they tend to believe? According to outlet, there's a belief "that the current sexual 'marketplace' gives women too much freedom to choose their own partners." Not only that, but the outlet says Incels tend to think women choose to ignore men unless they look a certain way or have a certain status, "leaving the remaining 80 percent of men (including incels) without a potential partner."

Nicole Prause, a UCLA Statistician and Academic, is well-versed in abstinence movements, and what they ultimately indicate based on statistics. "There are a number of similar men's movements already, especially Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)," she says. According to her, MGTOW don't pursue marriage or relationships with women, but "seek sex when it is on their 'terms.'" She says, "They're often viewing it as a battle pitting sexes against one another. These movements tend to be separatist, often evolving into misogyny and violent speech, such as glorifying sexual coercion and rape."

As a result of these growing men's movements and the incoming 47th President of the United States — a convicted felon with multiple allegations of sexual assault — there have been growing calls from women on social media to consider the 4B Movement for themselves. X user @jungsooyawning wrote, "american women it's time to learn from the koreans and adopt the 4b movement as a matter of fact women from all over the world should adopt the 4b movement i'm so serious," on the platform.

Freelance writer Daria Yasmiene also wrote about about why she's taking part in the movement for POPSUGAR. She said, "As a Black woman who has lived through three back-to-back elections with Trump as a focal point, I'm so far beyond tired that I need a lifestyle change." Ultimately, she wants to continue having the freedom to choose to live her life in a way that's not solely governed by men.

"With the little autonomy that I have left, I would rather be alone and safe from the consequences of male influence in my life than lie next to someone who doesn't see me as an equal. We deserve so much more than that."

Meanwhile, Sex and Relationships Coach, Leah Carey says that 4B "makes sense as a response to realizing that a majority of men valued the economy over a woman's right to self-determination." Depending on where you stand, she also says that it can be "seen as 'punishment' for men" or "as a choice of self-determination and self-protection for women." Somatic Trauma Therapist, Blessing Uchendu shares Carey's sentiments in that the movement is "a response to patriarchy and the centering of men and conversely the objectification of women, with the expectation that they fulfill roles as wives and mothers."

Potential Benefits Of The 4B Movement

So with all that in mind, is a movement like 4B beneficial? And is it even sustainable? I'm not going to tell you that you should or shouldn't join the 4B Movement because it's a personal decision. It's always wise to examine where you are in life instead of relying on social media, news outlets, or even the government to determine what you're going to believe. Still, there may be some benefits to the 4B Movement that outweigh any potential fallouts.

Carey says that "not being refused care for reproductive matters" is a potential benefit of 4B, while also highlighting that "the mental health benefits can also be huge for people who deal with anxiety, depression, or anything else that might cause emotional hardship in the current climate."

This could also lead to women identifying and honoring their true desires instead of following society's scripts about who they should be. Somatic Trauma Therapist, Blessing Uchendu believes that 4B is about women de-centering men and re-centering themselves — about "being the 'stars of their own stories,' rather than supporting characters in a malde-dominated narrative." Uchendu says. "It can be incredibly empowering to step away from systems that have felt compulsory in order to reflect on whether you are making decisions centered on yourself and your desires or whether these decisions are centered on the expectations of the society around you."

The most important thing Carey wants to note is that women aren't unable to find love and joy ever again by participating in the 4B movement. "Just because a woman chooses not to date, have sex, get married, or have kids with a man doesn't mean she can't do those things: with other women. it's more and more common for adult women to explore their same-sex attractions after divorce or widowhood," she notes. "With a generation of young women growing up with the understanding that heterosexuality is not the only option, we may see a wave of younger women also exploring in this arena (in addition to all the younger women who already know themselves to be queer)."

I would also say that you can always go back to dating and engaging with men whenever you want — this movement doesn't have to be a permanent choice if you don't want it to be. The whole point is to take charge and embrace your own sense of agency.

Yet, Prause does pause to mention the downside to "separatist movements." She explains that without support from men, women could struggle financially given pay disparities and other gender-based work inequities. Still, she says this doesn't really affect much if women have been figuring things out for themselves with little help from men.

Ultimately Uchendu says women having the freedom to exist without the weight of society's patriarchal standards on their shoulders is the "ultimate freedom." She says, "In the words of Audre Lorde 'If I did not define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and be eaten alive."

No woman should have to live in fear of having violence committed against her, but history continues repeating itself in terms of how society treats our bodies. "When a woman's right to make choices about her own body and health care are removed, she may decide to not put herself in a position where pregnancy can become an option," Carey says.

Prause chimes in with, "On average, women are more likely to experience mental health declines with marriage to a man (the opposite is true for men). While men also can experience domestic violence and sexual assault, the risks are exceptionally higher for women." Not only that, but she also points out that "women risk unwanted pregnancy, from which they now have fewer healthcare rights to address" and "are at much higher risk for sexually transmitted infections, even from their regular romantic partner."

As if that weren't a slap in the fact, Prause mentions that "childcare continues to fall disproportionately on women and does cause less income for women over time."

Apple and Cranberry Cobbler

This egg-free Apple Cranberry Cobbler recipe is infused with vanilla, star anise, and optional bourbon, and served well with a scoop of vanilla ice cream! (via Vanilla and Bean)

White Christmas Truffle Cake

Turn this fluffy sponge cake with white chocolate truffle topping into a stunning dessert centerpiece with edible pearls and a sweet pine decoration.(via Vikalinka)

Slice and Bake Christmas Cookies

These homemade slice and bake Christmas cookies are surprisingly easy to make, taste better than the ones in the tube, and are customizable so you can choose your favorite holiday shapes! (via Crowded Kitchen)

Chocolate Beet Cake

For a healthier spin on Christmas dessert, try this unique Chocolate Beet Cake. It's so moist and delicious, your guests won’t even know you used beets! (via Give Recipe)

Skinny Peppermint Mocha

Try a low-calorie version of this Starbucks favorite you can make at home! (via The Girl on Bloor)

Spiced Mascarpone Cranberry Cake

In charge of dessert this year? This stunning spiced cake will wow your guests in terms of taste and looks. It makes a delicious breakfast too! (via The Original Dish)

Christmas Frosting Board

What a fun idea! Swap your charcuterie for a dessert board where guests can pick and dip! (via Kathryn's Kitchen)

Vegan Chocolate Orange Cheesecake

This no-bake cheesecake, made with cashew and coconut, is so delicious and stunning they won't believe there's actually no cheese. (via The First Mess)

Vegan Mini Chocolate Pies with Pecan Caramel

Mini pies are the perfect Christmas dessert because they're hand-held and bite-sized, plus these feature chocolate, pecan, and caramel flavors! They're also vegan, which just makes us love them even more. (via Brit + Co)

The Best Sugar Cookies

These sugar cookies are so good, they don't really need any embellishments, but would it really be a Christmas party without reindeer cookies?! Save a few to leave out for Santa, too. (via Brit + Co)

Peppermint Macarons with White Chocolate Ganache

Find a new way to enjoy the minty flavor of peppermint with this macarons recipe. Covered in white chocolate, it's a nod to the traditional French pastry. (via Brit + Co)

Chocolate Pumpkin Tart with Gingersnap Crust

Move over white chocolate ganache, because this pumpkintart is ready for its turn in the spotlight. We love that the gingersnap crust helps balance the rich taste of dark chocolate. (via Brit + Co)

Puff Pastry Apple Roses

These roses look good enough to eat – because they are indeed edible! It's the one time you'll enjoy stopping to smell the roses. (via Brit + Co)

Sweet Chai Latte Cupcakes

Turn your favorite morning beverage into a sweet treat with these cupcakes. The flavors and spices make for the perfect holiday season dessert. (via Brit + Co)

Paleo Christmas Cookies

Cookies will never be totally healthy, but there are definitely ways that you can make them healthier. Check out this easy Christmas dessert that's paleo-friendly. (via Brit + Co)

Vegan Apple Cake

If puff pastry apple roses feel like too much of a lite dessert, you'll want to keep this vegan apple cake recipe handy. (via Brit + Co)

Baked Hot Chocolate Doughnuts

We have a *major* sweet tooth for anything that involves gooey chocolate, so combining our love of doughnuts and hot chocolate sounds like a dream come true. (via Brit + Co)

Eggnog with Sugared Rosemary

Who says desserts have to be food? This sweet drink is a classic Christmas dessert, whether you're decorating the tree or curling up for a movie night. Our favorite detail is definitely the sugared rosemary. (via Brit + Co)

Oreo Red Velvet Cheesecake

If you love red velvet cake and you love cheesecake, then this is the dessert for you. The crust, cheesecake filling, and whipped cream come together beautifully so that every bite you take is better than the last! Plus, the Oreos on top are the perfect finishing touch. (via Brit + Co)

Frozen Chocolate Peanut Butter Yogurt Cups

Take a break from traditional Christmas desserts and make candy recipes instead! Who knows, someone may request that you make frozen chocolate peanut butter yogurt cups for their birthday next year. (via Brit + Co)

Mini Gingerbread Cheesecakes

If regular slices of cheesecake are too rich for you, try these mini bite-sized options for your next get-together. They're a little bit spicy, a little bit sweet, and just the right amount of creamy. (via Brit + Co)

Even Santa Will Want A Bite Of These Christmas Desserts!

Peppermint Bark Cannoli

You just can’t get through the snowy season without indulging in some sweet and cool peppermint bark. No surprise, it's amazing in cannolis. (via Sugar and Cloth)

Mott's Gingerbread Cups

These lil cups are a fun, festive, and fabulous treat to make with and for your little ones — or for anyone else, frankly! Just look how cute they are! (via Mott's)

Rum and Eggnog Bundt Cake

We like big bundts and we cannot lie; a slice of this, we can't deny! Flavored with rum and eggnog, this luscious cake is slathered with a generous coating of eggnog cream cheese icing that will make your tastebuds sing. (via Liv for Cake)

Vegan Christmas Cookies Recipe

Packed with nutty almonds and made without butter, eggs or oil, these gluten-free cookies are actually delicious and easy to make. Powdered sugar for the win! (via Veggie Society)

Chocolate Molasses Crinkle Cookies

Serve up a plate of melt-in-your-mouth crinkle cookies with a rich chocolate flavor.(via Whole and Heavenly Oven)

Black Forest Trifle Cake

Get creative with this trifle cake made with Black Forest layers. (via Woman Scribbles)

Coconut Balls

Make it snow with these easy and delicious coconut balls! (via The Fast Recipe)

Eggnog Cheesecake Brownies

With creamy eggnog cheesecake swirling into fudgy goodness, these brownies will make even eggnog naysayers fall in love with the soft and chewy bites. (via A Cookie Named Desire)

Chocolate Peppermint Bundt Cake

We know you’re thinking it because we’re thinking it — be still, my heart! This rich, minty, and chocolatey cake is dripping with glaze and topped with crushed candy canes. Can you say flavor bomb? (via Two Peas & Their Pod)

Champagne Donuts With White Chocolate Glaze

One of the best things about donuts is they can be enjoyed as both a dessert *and* as a sweet breakfast option. The Champagne-infused dough and white chocolate glaze create the ultimate holiday treat. (via Sugar and Cloth)

Apple and Mincemeat Filo Wreath

This swoon-worthy recipe stuffs crisp apples and mincemeat into a flaky filo pastry, resulting in complete dessert heaven. Adorned with cranberries and drizzled with custard, this treat is guaranteed to be a hit at any holiday party. (via Domestic Gothess)

Mexican Wedding Cookies

These tiny snowballs are slightly salty, nutty, buttery, and downright delish. (via Two Peas & Their Pod)

Cranberry Dark Chocolate Biscotti

We hope you’re ready for additional caffeine, because you’ll be brewing an extra cup a day just for an excuse to dip and devour these beauties. Totally addicting, these munchies are packed with nuts and cranberries and drizzled with chocolate. (via Pinch of Yum)

Homemade Marshmallows

Storebought marshmallows will never taste the same after you make these. Dip them in chocolate or add them to your hot cocoa for a truly decadent treat. (via The Real Food Dietitians)

Eggnog Panna Cotta with Spiked Cranberry Sauce

Silky smooth panna cotta may seem like a summery dessert, but when made with eggnog and topped with orange liqueur-spiked cranberry sauce, it's completely festive. (via Sprinkle Bakes)

You Won't Want To Share These Delicious Christmas Desserts

White Christmas Sparkle Cake

If you prefer snowflakes and twinkly lights to bright red and green decorations, you'll love this fluffy vanilla almond cake with cream cheese frosting. (via How Sweet Eats)

You Won't Believe How Tasty These Christmas Desserts Are

Meringue Christmas Wreath Cake

But if you do love colorful decorations, opt for this wreath cake, decked out with nonpareils and candy canes. (via Sprinkle Bakes)

Holiday Sugar Cookie Bars with Cream Cheese Frosting

Instead of rolling out dough to make individual cookies, bake up these bars, and have fun making your own sprinkle design on top. (via Averie Cooks)

Marmalade Thumbprint Cookies

It truly isn’t the holidays without some jam-filled thumbprint cookies to munch on. Though a berry jam is most commonly used, the choice of this orange jam is brilliant. (via The View From Great Island)

Christmas Tree Mousse Cups

You don't have to be an artist to make an adorable tree-shaped dollop of mousse in these chocolate cups. (via My Life Cookbook)

Peppermint Cream Puffs

Bite-size cream puffs are the ideal treat, and with a light peppermint ganache and festive sprinkles, they're holiday-ready. (via Best Friends for Frosting)

Chocolate Peppermint Mousse

We love how fluffy mousse is, and this Christmas dessert (which only needs four ingredients, FYI!!) mixes in peppermint extract for the perfect seasonal flavor. Add some crushed candy canes on top for an extra cute detail. (via Feel Good Foodie)

Funfetti Christmas Cake Roll

Don't be intimidated by the cylindrical shape; this colorful cake is both easy to bake and easy to roll up while hot. (via Passion for Savings)

Italian Pear Cranberry Tart

If the cranberry sauce at your Thanksgiving dinner didn’t satisfy your cranberry needs, this festive tart will. Fresh cranberries are piled into a shortbread crust over a luscious layer of almond cream, and it’s kind of the best thing ever. (via Just a Little Bit of Bacon)

Viennese Crescent Cookies

Popular in Austria, these melt-in-your-mouth Christmas cookies are a simple blend of hazelnuts, butter, and powdered sugar. (via Leite's Culinaria)

We'd Recommend These Christmas Desserts To Everyone

Mincemeat, Marzipan, and Apple Bread Wreath

Filled with mincemeat, marzipan, and apricot jam, this impressive buttery wreath is packed with flavor. And since it's fruity, you can get away with eating it for breakfast. (via Domestic Gothess)

Sugar Cookie Chocolate Crème Brûlée

Have more Christmas cookies than you know what to do with? Use them to top these velvety, chocolate-rich crème brûlées. (via Half Baked Harvest)

Gingerbread Bundt Cake

If you want to get real fancy, haul out your bundt cake pan and try this recipe. The patterned cake looks even more impressive when laden with a shiny glaze. (via The View From Great Island)

Slice and Bake Heart Cookies

These heart-shaped cookies are so much easier to make than you'd think. Impress your Christmas guests with a bout of sugar cookies! (via Crowded Kitchen)

Easy Puppy Chow Recipe

You probably already have everything you need for this DIY dessert recipe: peanut butter (or another nut butter), chocolate chips, Chex cereal, butter, and powdered sugar. The red and green candies are just a bonus! (via Brit + Co)

Tahini Brownies

If you can't handle full-on sweetness, try these brownies that mix in some tahini for a nutty flavor addition. The flaky salt on top adds an edge that you do not want to miss out on. (via Forks and Foliage)

Vegan Peanut Butter Blossoms

Is there a better duo than chocolate and peanut butter? These blossoms feature creamy peanut butter and dark chocolate chips for a rich, smooth take on the classic combo. (via Rachel Mansfield)

Olive Oil Orange Cake

This citrusy, just slightly olive-oily cake will brighten up your winter diet, and the touch of Grand Marnier makes it taste extra-elegant. (via Averie Cooks)

Hazelnut Shortbread with Salted Ganache Sandwich Cookies

Okay, regular Oreos. We raise you one with these uniquely delicious (and super festive!) homemade sandwich cookies! (via Vanilla and Bean)

Sugar Dusted Donut Christmas Tree by Chef Genevieve LaMonaca

For this delicious Christmas dessert, roll 60 (3lbs) white donut holes in 2.25oz green sugar sprinkles, then cover a 5.5 x 13.5-inch foam cone in plastic wrap. Insert your toothpicks (you'll need 60) into the foam, then push donut hole on the toothpick. Start from the bottom and work your way up. Add 1/2 cup peanut M&M’s to fill holes to resemble Christmas ornaments. Top with gold star cupcake topper. Cover with saran wrap until ready to use. Make up to 3 days ahead of time!

Cookies and Milk Shot Glass Dessert

Made in a shot glass, you can make this cookie dessert boozy or kid-friendly. It's play on Santa's milk and cookies, and a cute way to share with friends. (via Clean Cuisine)

Dark Chocolate Peppermint Bark

Chocolate bark makes the perfect gift for everyone on your list. (via Hello Little Home)

Candy Cane Kiss Cookies

Try this peppermint twist on the Hershey's Kiss thumbprint cookies. (via This Wife Cooks)