During bouts of cold weather, nothing warms you down to your toes quite like a good soup. From spicy soup recipes to more mild creations, soup is nourishing, warming and often packed with nutritious ingredients. Tomato soup recipes are a classic choice here in the U.S., but maybe you’re in the mood for something a little more… exotic. Lucky for you, soup is a staple in all corners of the globe. Try these 22 soup recipes from around the world next time you feel like jetting off to new (and perhaps warmer) climates.
Creamy Chicken Tortilla Soup
This one-pot Creamy Chicken Tortilla Soup is so simple and the perfect bowl to spice things up with salsa verde, poblano peppers, jalapeños, and shredded chicken. Taco seasoning and ground cumin top it off with amazing flavor. Add salty tortilla chips and even lime zest for a magical soup to cozy up to mid-winter. (via Half Baked Harvest)
Easy Homemade Wonton Soup
New England Clam Chowder
Manhattan Clam Chowder
Chicken Dumpling Soup
Curb your cravings for a cozy comfort soup with this well-rounded meal that nourishes with tender chicken, fluffy cooked dumplings, and a flavorful creamy broth. (via Real Food Dietitians)
Turkish Tarhana Soup
Mix things up with this popular Turkish soup made with fermented dough and a tomato base, mint, and garlic. (via Give Recipe)
15-Minute Curry Noodle Soup
Italian Wedding Soup
Hearty Mulligatawny Soup
This simpler version of the famous mulligatawny soup is made with leftover roast chicken or turkey. Part Indian, part British, this soup is aromatic, mildly spicy, and so comforting. (via Vikalinka)
Vegan Tortellini Soup
This hearty, delicious soup won't take more than 45 minutes and is packed with vegetables, cheesy tortellini, spicy plant-based sausage and lots of flavor! (via Crowded Kitchen)
Spanish Bean Soup
French Onion Soup
Easy Mexican Pozole
Turkey Avgolemono Soup
Cuban Black Bean Soup
Creamy Coconut Soup With Cauliflower
This soothing soup is a great way to get veggies into your day in a healthy and hearty way. (via Clean Cuisine)
Ribollita
Hot and Sour Soup
Locro de Papa
Vietnamese Beef Noodle Pho
One-Pot Lasagna Soup
Got 30 minutes? This soup version of the Italian classic is the perfect, hearty, comfort food with ground beef, noodles, a tomato-based broth, and a delicious three-cheese topping. (via Averie Cooks)
Easy Homemade Ramen
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Zach Bryan and Brianna "Chickenfry" LaPaglia's explosive breakup is everywhere right now. From his seemingly one-sided social media posts to all the bombshell revelations she keeps dropping, it's clear this split is NOT amicable. Both parties are dropping tons of lore, info, and everything in between — including new music?! — right now, so it makes sense if you can't keep up. Luckily, I'm here to help break this breakup down for you! Here's everything you need to know about Zach Bryan and Brianna Chickenfry's relationship...or lack thereof.
Neilson Barnard/Getty Images for The Recording Academy
October 22, 2024 – Zach Bryan Announces His Breakup With Brianna Chickenfry
On October 22, 2024, after some recent speculation that Zach Bryan and Brianna Chickenfry split up, Zach took to his Instagram stories. The country star said, "Addressing something: Brianna and me have broken up with [each other] and I respect and love her with every ounce of my heart. She has loved me unconditionally for a very long time and for that I'll always thank her."
He continued, noting, "I have had an incredibly hard year personally and struggled through some pretty severe things. I thought it would be beneficial for both of us to go our different ways. I am not perfect and never will be. Please respect Brianna's privacy and space in this and if you have it in your heart, mine too."
To wrap it all up, he closed by apologizing to his fans. He said, "With everything I am and to anyone I let down, I am sorry. I try my best in everything. I failed people that love me and mostly myself."
Brianna hopped on her own Instagram stories shortly there after. She posted, "Hey guys I'm feeling really blindsided right now. Gonna hop off social media for a while and attempt to heal privately, when I'm ready I'll be back and ready to talk. I love you guys so much thank you for all of your kind words. Remember you are so loved and everything's always gonna be okay 🫶"
The Brianna got on Youtube next, posting a raw, emotional video about the situation. Sitting on the floor of her bathroom, she opened up as much as she could in the moment about her breakup. She said, "I just woke up to Zach posting on his Instagram that we broke up and I had no idea that post was going up. He didn't text me, he didn't call me. I just woke up to a bunch of texts, like, 'Are you okay?'"
Brianna, with her teary eyes and red face, explained she's been crying for "five days straight." She said, "I'm at the point where it's like, how can you give someone everything and love them so unconditionally, like through stuff that you shouldn't because you just love them and you want them... like you see the good in them?"
The internet personality said that this is all "so embarrassing" and "really, really heartbreaking." She elaborated that the couple broke up on October 21, but wanted to process on her own and "didn't want it to be public."
Much like her Instagram story, she told her audience that she'll come back when she's ready.
November 7, 2024 — Brianna Claims Zach's Emotionally Abusive, Wanted $12Mil NDA
Well, it appears this week, Brianna decided she's ready. On Barstool Sports' BFF's Pod November 7, 2024, Brianna gave an inside look at the breakup unlike any other. Not only did she claim Zach was abusive, but she also alleged that he offered her a $12 million NDA to "not talk about the relationship."
After saying it's been the hardest year of her life, she said. "I'm still scared right now because I'm scared of him. My brain's rewired and I'm scared to make him mad and last week, I didn't want to talk about it 'cause I was scared."
Brianna then described the alleged emotional abuse. She noted that everything was cyclical and that he would build her up only to break her back down again. "There was always another excuse as to why he was treating me so poorly and why I'm crying myself to sleep every night, why he's screaming at me," she said. "And then you wake up, it's the apology, it's the 'I'm going to be better like I need you in my life,' but if you've been through this — I don't expect people to understand emotional abuse if you haven't been through it. I hope you never have to go through it but if you've been there you know what I'm talking about."
Not only does Brianna allege she was offered an NDA, but she said that other women that came before her had to sign their own agreements. She declined the offer because she didn't want to "sign away [her] experiences and what [she] went through to protect someone that hurt [her]." She also wanted to share this experience for other women who've suffered something similar.
And when it comes to the logistics of losing out on the famous lifestyle and alleged $12 million? She said, "It was never about the money — I was with the dude because I loved the dude."
Jason Kempin/Getty Images for Pilgrimage Music & Cultural Festival
November 8, 2024 — Zach Quit Touring Amid Abuse Allegations
On November 8, 2024, Zach posted on Instagram — where he clearly loves to share all his big news — that not only is his new single "High Road" out today, but that he's also ending his tour early. Read his full statement here:
After not being home for a year and a half I drove out to my mothers gravestone in the dead of night a few days back on familiar Oklahoma roads and I came to realize just like in the past, that she never would call me again
Told her I quit touring because I got accepted to get my masters in Paris next year, I told her I was back in Oklahoma, told her about all my best friends in New York and all the nights we howled with the moon, told her about the immeasurable laughter my band and me have shared these last five years, all the calluses on my finger tips, every tear shed, told her about making it on The Rolling Stone and most importantly told her about porch swinging with my beautiful sister.
I wrote the chorus for this song a month or two back and finished it when I realized I was blessed with all these things.
I figured it was about time I released it.
Thank you guys for listening to ‘This Worlds a Giant’ last night and thank you to all the people who love me; who have truly carried the weight with me.
Seems that all these Quiet Dreams have gotten much too heavy but I’m home now and I’ll hold you through the pain.
High Road is out today and I appreciate all of you"
@ihatebriannachickenfry Sometimes all you need is a nyc sunrise and some good pals
♬ I Can Do It With a Broken Heart - Taylor Swift
November 15, 2024 — Brianna Alleges Zach Bryan Picked Out Engagement Ring For Her
It goes down in the DM, according to Brianna (& Yo Gotti). In a TikTok caption, Brianna explained that her "biggest celeb crush tried to slide [in her DMs] a few months back" but that she denied it given her relationship with Zach. Then, in the comments Brianna elaborated that she continues to learn more about Zach's alleged infidelities — and how deep they really go. She wrote, "Been finding out he was cheating the whole time lol. The week he showed me my engagement ring he was DMing girls hahahahha.” OOF, that's tough.
November 17, 2024 — Brianna Posts TikTok With A New Man... & Threatens To Post Alleged Abuse From Zach Bryan
After going through Taylor Swift's entire anthology (girl, we've BEEN there!), it's clear Brianna Chickenfry isn't about to let her breakup with Zach Bryan bring her down. The podcast host posted a TikTok on November 17, 2024 with the caption, “Sometimes all you need is a nyc sunrise and some good pals." And while that message is sweet, we noticed something else pretty sweet — the man she's seemingly cuddled up with throughout the 42 second clip!
Commenters were quick to notice, too — one person even writing, "That was fast." Brianna responded, “Well I was cheated on my whole relationship so yeah," clearly proving she doesn't care what anyone thinks right now. And good for her!
That same day, Brianna threatened to share videos of alleged abuse from her relationship after Zach kept posting pictures of her cats, according to Page Six. She said the videos depict “whipping s–t at my face," but her reps have yet to respond to Page Six for comment about this.
Definitely a whirlwind of a day in the life of Bri...
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Listen – we love ketchup, mayo, mustard, and all your other favorite condiments– by no means are we suggesting that mayo doesn’t have a place in BLTs and potato salad recipes. But, if you haven’t tried aioli — a popular dipping sauce with Mediterranean origins — you’re seriously missing out.
Aioli recipes are traditionally made with garlic, olive oil, and sometimes eggs (the combination of which is, of course, mayonnaise), but modern iterations also throw in lemon juice, garlic, and a whole plethora of other delicious herbs and spices. Here are 25 of our favorite aioli recipes, but be warned: once you dip your French fries in aioli, you’ll never go back.
Vanilla and Bean
Jalapeño Aioli
Let's start things off with a little spice, shall we? This zesty, zingy aioli gets infused with jalapeños, garlic, cilantro, and lime juice to form the most delicious flavor.
Cooking With Curls
Super Easy Garlic Aioli
Let’s start off with the most mainstream, common version of aioli you’re likely to find. This easy-to-make recipe contains only five ingredients: mayo, garlic, lemon juice, salt, and pepper. Like all aioli creations, this sauce is perfect for adding to sandwiches and burgers, and will also take your fries to a *whole* new level.
Goodie Godmother
Cilantro Lime Aioli
Aioli recipes are *delish* on a quesadilla or another Mexican-inspired meal. The flavors of cilantro and lime pair with all kinds of flavorful (and spicy) foods.
The Iron You
Rosemary Aioli
Paired here with meatballs, rosemary aioli is a bit more herbaceous. The flavors of rosemary go well with meats. We also recommend serving this sauce on the sandwich portion of a hearty soup-and-sammie meal.
Hello Little Home
Pesto Aioli
Use some store-bought or homemade pesto to mix into thick mayo, and you have yourself an exceptional (and easy!) aioli recipe.
Vikalinka
Truffle Aioli
One bite of this rich aioli recipe, and you'll be hooked. It's especially tasty alongside some fries!
Feel Good Foodie
Basic Homemade Aioli
This pick is as straightforward as aioli gets. If you're looking to hone your kitchen craft with more homemade dips and sauces, this aioli recipe is a great place to start.
The Suburban Soapbox
Roasted Garlic Aioli
Here’s another crowd-pleasing garlic aioli recipe for you. Pro tip: roast the garlic by cutting it in half, placing the middle side down on a piece of foil, drizzling with olive oil, and roasting for about 30 minutes. You’ll unlock a super-rich flavor that you just can’t get with raw garlic.
The Best Aioli Recipes
The Wimpy Vegetarian
Roasted Red Pepper Aioli
Looking for something a little... tangier? This roasted red pepper aioli will definitely do the trick. It combines the flavors of traditional aioli and red peppers with mustard, lemon juice, and sun-dried tomatoes for a condiment with kick!
The Edgy Veg
Vegan Caper Aioli
Aioli recipes can be healthy — just ask this vegan caper aoil mixture. Salty capers meet mellowed-out mayo in this plant-based recipe.
The Minimalist Baker
5-Ingredient Chipotle Aioli
This baby is spicy – and it also happens to be totally vegan. The “mayo” is made from soaked and blended cashews, while the flavor itself comes from fresh chipotle peppers.
A Spicy Perspective
Magic Aioli Sauce
You'll just have to trust us on this one – this aioli recipe holds pure magic. It's dreamy and bright, meaning it's the perfect pair to hefty, salty potato wedges and the like. Each dip will leave you wanting more and more!
Takes Two Eggs
Gochujang Aioli
Gochujang, a spicy Korean chili and soybean paste, gets the aioli treatment, resulting in a spectacularly spicy spread that can be used across dishes from sandwiches to loaded fries. All we can say is bring on all the spicy aioli recipes!
Fountain Avenue Kitchen
Smoked Paprika Aioli
When shopping for paprika, go for a spice labeled “smoked paprika” or “sweet paprika.” Plain-old paprika tends to be a lot less flavorful. In the case of this pick, though, you’ll combine smoked paprika with a bit of cumin to achieve a rich, spicy flavor in your aioli recipe.
Joyful Healthy Eats
Chipotle Lime Aioli
We’ve already covered aioli with lime and aioli with chipotle peppers — but this mouthwatering recipe combines the two. Bonus points for serving these with healthy and delicious sweet potato fries!
Savor The Best
Lemon-Dill Aioli Sauce
Not so much into the peppery, spicy sauces? Keep things light and fresh with this lemon and dill-flavored creation. When prepping this aioli, be sure to bring your egg yolks to room temperature, or you may have some trouble getting them to mix with the rest of the sauce.
Healthy Green Kitchen
Vegan Egg-Free Aioli
Here’s another one for the plant-based eaters out there. The secret ingredient in this recipe is aquafaba... that is, chickpea water. You can store this mixture for up to seven days in a covered container, so it’s great for making ahead (meal prep FTW!) and taking to work.
More Delicious Aioli Recipes
The Faux Martha
Chimichurri Aioli
Chimichurri is often slathered on meats, and this aioli is just as – if not more – versatile. It shares a number of ingredients with traditional chimichurri sauce — a few of the stand-outs are cilantro, onion, lime juice, and jalapeño!
Barley & Sage
Spicy Lemon Aioli
For a dip with more kick, this spicy lemon aioli strikes the ideal balance between tangy and zesty.
Half Baked Harvest
Roasted Garlic Saffron Aioli
Saffron brings a muted, yet deep flavor to this blend that was crafted to pair with feta fries. It's one of the tastiest aioli recipes we've had!
Homemade Interest
Easy Lemon Aioli
When we say this recipe is easy, that’s kind of an understatement. There are literally two steps: whisk everything together, then allow it to chill in the fridge for 30 minutes. It’s *that* simple.
Pink Owl Kitchen
Creole Aioli
All the best parts of creole cookin' falvor are included in this aioli. Make sure you've got a lot of spices on your hands, or else this spicy pick won't quite hit the same.
The Skinny Fork
Skinny Sriracha Aioli
What makes this Sriracha-infused aioli skinny, exactly? Instead of regular mayonnaise, you’ll sub in light mayo and Greek yogurt for a lower-fat, protein-packed alternative.
Cafe Delites
Garlic Avocado Aioli
All those classic garlic aioli recipes we’ve shared above are fabulous, but adding some avocado can be a *total* game-changer. With this recipe, you’ll whip some fresh avo right into the mixture, adding creamy texture and stellar flavor.
Dad With A Pan
Lemon Parsley Aioli
This lemon-parsley combo is decidedly British-inspired and perfect for dipping. It showcases the flavors of mayo, parsley, lemon, Dijon mustard, and garlic. Bonus points for serving it with fried blue cheese olives, as shown here.
Veggie And The Beast
Vegan Roasted Red Pepper Aioli
If you’re interested in a red pepper flavor, but want to steer clear of animal products (or dairy in general), try this vegan version. You’ll sub in cashews (processed with water, of course) for mayo, keeping it dairy-free and super healthy.
Self Proclaimed Foodie
Basil Garlic Aioli
If you’re a big pesto fan, you’ll adore this basil-garlic sauce. In addition to being a perfect addition to French fries, it would also go great on any kind of Italian-inspired sammie, such as an eggplant Parm or meatball sub. (via Self Proclaimed Foodie)
Ruled.Me
Roasted Garlic Chipotle Aioli
See those eggs in the background? That’s because this recipe has you making mayo from scratch. It doesn’t get more wholesome than that. You’ll bring the eggs to room temperature before processing them with additional yolks, lemon juice, and garlic, and adding olive oil toward the end of the process.
Tasty Kitchen
Super Garlicky Aioli
We thought we’d round off our list with another classic iteration of aioli. This garlic-infused version is perfect for all your aioli needs, but we *especially* love it with French fries and a glass of white wine. Cheers!
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This post has been updated with additional reporting by Meredith Holser. This article originally appeared in 2017 as part of our Hit Refresh series.
Jennifer Lawrence announced she's pregnant, and we couldn't be happier for her! Though she and her husband, Cooke Maroney, aren't known for being in the public eye too much, it seems like this is one piece of news they don't mind sharing! Sorry, but we haven't been this excited about baby news since Suki Waterhouse and Robert Pattinson became parents — excuse us while we celebrate!
Here's everything we know about baby number 2 so far.
November 17: Jennifer Lawrence Glows On The Red Carpet Again
Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images
Not only is Jennifer Lawrence glowing during her second pregnancy, but she's also showing how stylish moms can be! According to WWD, she wore a gorgeous brown Bottega Veneta gown to the Governors Award event and looked like a goddess on the red carpet. The dress and its gold hardware complemented her skin beautifully along with her matching clutch!
It seems like maternity style gets better every year and it gives this mama hope that the world sees that life doesn't stop just because we have kiddos in tow!
Has Jennifer Lawrence debuted her baby bump yet?
Anna Webber/Getty Images for AFI
YES! Jennifer Lawrence's baby bump was the star of the Zurawski v Texas premiere (via PEOPLE). She wore a structured white dress with a black belt around her waist that accentuated her cute baby bump and appeared to be glowing.
According to Deadline, she's one of the executive producers of Zurawski v Texas, a documentary that sheds light on the "restrictive abortion laws" that put women's lives in danger in Texas. Alongside producers Hilary and Chelsea Clinton, Jennifer's involvement in the documentary as a pregnant woman makes a pivotal statement during a time where mothers' mortalities aren't always considered during their pregnancies.
When did Jennifer Lawrence announce her second pregnancy?
Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images for BFI
Leave it to Vogue to get the exclusive scoop about Jennifer being pregnant again! According to the publication, an official "representative for the actor confirmed" the news yesterday, October 20. So exciting!
When is Jennifer Lawrence's second baby due?
Kevin Mazur
Jennifer Lawrence hasn't announced her due date yet, so we can't be quite sure! However, if she's out of her first trimester, Jennifer could have her baby around April 2025!
What have Jennifer Lawrence and Cooke Maroney said about their family?
John Phillips/Getty Images for Sony Pictures
It seems Jennifer Lawrence and Cooke Maroney were open to the idea of having another baby as recently as this summer! An unknown source told Entertainment Tonight, "Jennifer and Cooke are doing very well and are super in love. They make each other laugh and have the best time parenting together. They would love to have another kid and expand their family."
When was Jennifer Lawrence's first baby born?
Sebastian Reuter/Getty Images for Sony Pictures
Jennifer and Cooke's firstborn son, Cy, was born February 2022, which means he's almost three years old!
The actress later explored her feeling about becoming a mom in another Vogueinterview. "It’s so scary to talk about motherhood. Only because it’s so different for everybody. If I say, It was amazing from the start, some people will think, 'It wasn’t amazing for me at first,' and feel bad. Fortunately I have so many girlfriends who were honest. Who were like, It’s scary," she said.
What has Jennifer Lawrence said about being a mom?
Amy Sussman/Getty Images
It seems like Jennifer found her stride because she's apparently embraced being a mom. She hasn't said anything recently, but she did speak with Entertainment Tonight last year during the promotion of No Hard Feelings about her parenting habits. "Of course, the urge to stop anything from ever hurting or negatively affecting your baby..." she said.
However, co-star Andrew Barth Feldman had nothing but positive words to share about Jennifer as a mom. "Jen is an amazing mother, for real. That was kind of one of the incredible things about doing this with you is seeing just how much of a priority being a mother is for you and how deeply you care about that over everything," he said.
We can't wait to see how Jennifer's second pregnancy develops and hope she's willing to give us a little sneak peek of how she's prepping to have two young kids!
Follow us on Facebook to stay tuned for updates!
Have you ever wondered why it seems some women always have the best friendships? We're talking about on the level of Sex and the Cityor Insecure. It's debatable whether some of those friends are toxic or not, but that's another story. The point is, it seems like some women have the best luck when it comes to building fun and supportive platonic relationships.
Are there unique qualities women in this position share? According to friendship coach Zoe Asher and licensed therapist Nicolle Osequeda, the answer is yes! Asher is host of the top-rated Accidentally Intentional podcast while Osequeda is the owner and founder of Lincoln Park Therapy Group, giving them an inside look at how people tend to approach all types of relationships!
Let's dive in!
Here are the unique qualities women with lots of friends share.
1. Women with a lot of friends value connection & community.
The one thing everyone with a solid group of friends can agree on is how it feels like you've built your own supportive community. Friends are often the first people we turn to with good or bad news, or the ones we simply want to go on adventures with. Osequeda says, "Women with strong friendship circles often value connection, community, and the power of vulnerability."
There's a realization that women in this unique position are able to "recognize that life is richer with a support system," says Osequeda. This involves "people who will listen, validate, and be there through both the highs and lows" she adds. From the friend who stayed up with you all night after a bad breakup to the one who cheered the loudest at your graduation, women who have a huge friend circle know that life feels better when we can connect with others.
Based on her experience as a therapist, she's "observed how women start friendships by gradually sharing layers of themselves." This can look like "having children at the same school or bonding over shared interests," she adds. This vulnerability is important because it creates a foundation that signals to women they've found their tribe.
2. Women with multiple friendships are open to vulnerability.
Like Osequeda mentioned, vulnerability can deepen our friendships. "These women are open to sharing the 'messy' parts of themselves which builds a deeper, more authentic bond." Also, she notes women with a lot of friends "aren't afraid to shed layers and be real" because "this vulnerability strengthens their sense of community." The more this happens over time, the more it "helps foster the connections" women with a lot of friends "cherish," according to Osequeda.
Honestly, she says "we’re all wired to seek out connection, and friendships provide that sense of community, validation, and belonging." She believes we truly "crave spaces where we can share our thoughts and feelings about what truly matters to us."
Asher believes women with lots of friends are "usually drawn towards one another in friendship" based on two levels:
- Level 1: Shared interests, appearance of confidence, a positive energy that they feel (smiling helps with this!)
- Level 2: (When in conversation) the safety they feel when speaking to another person, [emotional compatibility], how engaged the person is in conversation, and a desire to learn more about them, ultimately to find shared values.
This determines how women move forward in friendships. The approach is often led with "a deep sense of authenticity and care," according to Osequeda. "This is because women want relationships where they can be themselves, sharing hopes, dreams, and frustrations without judgment."
3. Women who have a lot of friends like other people they're friends with.
Again, the fact women with lots of friends actually like the people in their chosen circle is monumental. Asher says, "An interesting Yale study done in 2003 sought to look at 'popularity' in high schools to see if they could find something that all of the most liked and most popular kids had in common (outside of being a jock, etc.,)."
The common thread? "THEY liked the highest amount of people," Asher reveals. I talk about being a people pleaser a lot, but genuinely liking others isn't the same as that. IMO, it's actually admirable when people can respect others regardless of their race, religion, socioeconomic status, or sexuality.
She knows you're likely asking, "How does this apply to women having a lot of friends?" Her answer? "Across the board, the principle here is that women with the most friends are continuously on a hunt to find good and likable things about others."
However, this isn't based on a selfish need or want. "They've determined that the time invested in others is of mutual benefit," says Asher because "the biggest coast in adult female friendships is time — the most finite resource we all share in common."
4. These women also don't mind making new friends.
While making friends as adults shouldn't be hard, it definitely doesn't mean it comes easily. From overthinking to social anxiety, there's so many reasons why we struggle. Also, this idea we're doing fine without friends isn't exactly helpful or positive. Asher says, "The CDC has said that the impacts of loneliness on our bodies are more harmful than smoking 15 cigarettes A DAY! Making time for quality friendships (and the pursuit of it) is just as important for your physical state as working out is."
Where should you start if you want to forge new friendships? Osequeda says, "Start within communities that already resonate with you — whether it’s your child’s school, your workplace, a gym, dog park or a shared hobby. Places where you already belong create natural opportunities to connect." She even suggests giving "apps like Bumble BFF or local meet-up groups" a chance because they "can also help you find like-minded friends." But don't think you're limited to this!
Though Asher agrees that women tend to approach "friendships by trying to find commonalities right from the beginning," she says you don't have to confine yourself to this formula. "The reason I don't think this is best is because we are boxing ourselves in when we do this. The greatest friends could be on the other side of the stereotypes we're creating," she notes. Taking it a step further, Asher shared her own experience with this. "I watched all 3 of my best friends get married and have kids all before I ever got married. On the outside, most women would think 'They don’t have anything in common.' But on the inside, the character traits and values we each were looking for were mutual, and that became a more important compass for our friendship than the stage in life we were each in."
She was even surprised she'd become close to her best friends because of how things looked externally. "We had nothing in common, but I'm so glad I didn't box myself in," she says excitedly.
Here Are Even More Ways To Make New Friends!
Asher has three ways you can open yourself up to new adult friendships if you're interested.
- The most important place to start is our mindset. We have to first decide “I don’t want to be lonely anymore, and I’m worth having meaningful friendships.” When we make that decision, then we give ourselves permission and the courage to step out and take action in that! Important note about this: there was a study done at Stanford that revealed that people are 1.5x MORE likely to accept us than we think they are! So don’t let the fear of rejection hold you back!
- Go first. Make the ask, and then make the plans! Saying “We should hang out sometime” is ineffective because “sometime” isn’t a day on the calendar! We cannot wait for other people to want to pursue a friendship with us, because most of us are in this same boat — not knowing where to start! We can pursue connection, get plugged into a community (examples: book club, fitness class, church, etc), or create our own connections by just inviting someone over to our house/apartment. The biggest thing we need to remind ourselves of that is to stop making excuses, or pre-determining how we think people will respond!
- Again, don’t box yourself in. Don’t let your preconceived notions of what you think your archetype of a friend will look like stop you from spending time with others who don't fit that label. As addressed above, the friendships we’ve been looking for our whole lives could be right behind the stereotypes we’ve created! It’s more about character traits than it is about the external compatibility of hobbies or stages of life.
Osequeda's last piece of advice? "If you already have a friend group, meeting friends of friends is another great way to grow your circle. They key is taking that first step with a little bit of vulnerability — start a conversation, ask a question, and show interest." She's sure "it's these small moments of openness that create lasting connections!"