There's arguably nothing worse than dealing with a passive-aggressive boss. Rather than laying their grievances out on the line, they use indirect communication that leaves you feeling confused, frustrated, and unsure of how to respond without escalating the situation.
But whether it's a sarcastic remark, a roundabout criticism, or a backhanded compliment, handling these statements with calculated grace is key. So, here are 10 smart responses you can use on your boss the next time they make passive-aggressive comments.
Scroll to find out what you should say when your boss makes another passive-aggressive comment at work.
1. Clarify & Confirm
Marcus Aurelius
Have you ever been on the receiving end of a wild remark from your boss that practically made you do a double-take? If so, don't be afraid to respectfully ask for clarification, forcing them to expand on their perspective without any ambiguity.
For instance, saying something like, "I just want to make sure I understand you currently. Are you saying that..." and paraphrasing their comment is a powerful tool. Not only will it avoid miscommunication, but it will also make your boss address their issue with you head-on.
2. Ask For Their Feedback
Edmond Dantès
We can only learn and grow in environments that challenge us while supporting us along the way. However, passive-aggressive bosses may resort to beating around the bush, making offhand critiques about your work that are vague yet still hurtful.
You can urge your employer to be more straightforward with you by telling them point-blank, "I value your feedback." Asking for open dialogue as opposed to one-off comments will show that you're receptive to constructive criticism and encourage your boss to be a stronger leader.
3. Politely Challenge
Vlada Karpovich
Whether your boss tries to guilt-trip you by implying you're not doing enough or praises you in a sarcastic manner, you can always politely challenge them, too.
Try saying, "It seems like you're hinting at something. Could you be more direct so I can address it appropriately?" Your boss will be put on the spot and driven to share their true feelings without the white noise.
4. Show Understanding
Edmond Dantès
Passive aggression shouldn't be acceptable in workplaces, but sometimes, showing compassion and understanding can help diffuse these all-too-common situations.
As hard as it may be, giving your boss some grace and acknowledging their apparent frustrations may be enough to get you both on the same page.
For instance, saying something such as, "It sounds like you might be feeling irritated. Let's figure out what we can do to fix it together," can encourage teamwork and put a stop to the indirect blame game.
5. Maintain Professional Distance
Thirdman
When passive-aggressive statements start to feel catty in the office, it's not just hurtful; it also retracts from productivity and can lessen the quality of completed work.
To cleverly call out your boss while shifting attention back to the matter at hand, you can respond with, "I'm not sure I follow the tone of your comment. Let's focus on our work so we can move forward."
6. Stay Calm & Collected
Kaboompics.com
It can be tempting to go on the offensive in passive-aggressive situations. Even so, staying cool as a cucumber will reinforce your professionalism and prevent a full-blown stand-off from occurring.
All you have to say is, "I hear your concerns, and I'll focus on improving that moving forward." It's direct, indicates you understand your boss' grievances, and should keep them from harping on.
7. Redirect To Next Steps
Christina Morillo
One of the biggest issues with passive aggression is that it makes someone's issue with you indirectly apparent. Yet, it can be tough to know exactly how to fix their problem moving forward, given they're beating around the bush.
Let's say your boss makes a snarky remark about a PTO request or acts unsatisfied with a project you completed. Don't hesitate to ask, "So, what next steps should we take to ensure this doesn't happen again?"
8. Make It Clear That You're There To Grow
Antoni Shkraba
You could be early in your career or an industry veteran. Either way, vague passive-aggressive statements about performance can be equally hurtful (not to mention unhelpful).
A smart way to respond is by saying, "I'm here to learn and grow." It makes your intentions crystal clear, reminds your boss that you're only human, and could open up conversations about avenues for improvement.
9. Share How You Value Your Professional Relationship
Christina Morillo
All relationships, from romantic and platonic to professional, rely on mutual respect and communication. Passive aggression is a sign of disrespect, but you can help turn interactions with your boss around by saying, "I value our professional relationship."
It will successfully set a positive tone and convey that you want a healthy working relationship. It may also help your boss realize that they haven't been treating you the way they'd like to be treated.
10. Set Boundaries
MART PRODUCTION
Finally, the most direct approach is to confront your boss' passive-aggressive attitude by setting firm boundaries. This can be uncomfortable, but with the right tact and professionalism, it can be very powerful.
For example, consider using this statement: "I believe in having open and honest communication. Can we make sure we're on the same page moving forward?"
It makes your desire for transparency clear and forces your boss to rise to your expectations.
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