Dores André: The Spanish Ballerina Pirouetting Her Way to Stardom

Careers are not linear, and that's OK!

Rather than feeling like a failure for not living up to our parents’ outdated idea of success, I’ve taken some wisdom from Carrie, who had this all figured out back in the '90s. She started as a columnist for a newspaper, then authored several successful books, before becoming a podcast host. In between, she also wrote for Vogue and headlined a speaker series on dating in New York City.

The moral of the story? It’s OK to change directions and to switch up your path if what you’ve been doing no longer brings you joy (or, if the industry shifts and you need to pay rent). You don’t need to cling to a decision just because you spent a long time making it.

You can make the freelance & gig economy work for you.

Carrie was a freelance writer before it was cool, but she was also an early adapter to the gig economy (see: all those Learning Annex lessons). Manhattan is expensive, and when I was laid off at the start of the pandemic, I turned to freelance work to make ends meet. I had to get really scrappy and learn some new skills on the fly, but like Carrie, it all worked out in the end (and I had some cash left over for shoes, too!)

Fake it 'til you make it!

Sure, Carrie is a member of the press, but she’s a sex columnist at a D-list publication. No shade to a fellow writer, but I love how Carrie didn’t let this stand in her way. She attended fashion week and befriended Vogue editors and talked up her accomplishments enough to get into any door she wanted (except for that LA premiere, but we'll forgive it). One thing I’ve learned is that you’re your own best advocate, and no one else is going to do the work for you — it’s up to you to make things happen for yourself.

Know your worth, and don't settle for less.

When Carrie decided to buy her condo, but she didn't have enough cash saved (a different story for a different day), she proclaimed that she was offered "$4 a word at Vogue — most people get $2." Now, even in the '90s/early millennium this was seriously delulu, but Carrie believed in herself, went after what she wanted, and earned what she was worth. In-universe, this is double what the average Vogue writer was earning, which is a major win.

Don't let the fear of making a mistake stop you from thinking big and taking calculated risks!

When Carrie is approached to write a book based on her column, she's in shock and even considers turning down the opportunity. She decides to take a meeting, but it doesn't go well and she questions whether she should be writing a book at all. Luckily, Carrie pushes through these moments of self-doubt and completes her book, which becomes a huge success and the first of many. The lesson here is that self-doubt is normal, but letting those thoughts take over will hold you back from your full potential.

Remember to trust the process, because good things won't happen overnight!

One of my favorite things about Carrie is that she's a flawed character and forever a work-in-progress, from her love life to her career path. When we first meet Carrie, she's writing a weekly column for a local newspaper. We see her writing the column every day (for six seasons!), which may seem insignificant, but she's laying the groundwork and putting in the hours for her next career move, whatever that may be. Little by little, we see Carrie start to take on bigger projects, and she ends the series as a Vogue writer, a best-selling author, and a highly respected figure in NYC society. TV and movies can present success as an overnight sensation, but in real life — and in Carrie's case — it's more often a marathon than a sprint. Remember to give yourself grace and trust the process.

What's the most unexpected business challenge you've faced and how did you overcome it?

When I began in the late ‘90s, it was not a surprise that financial institutions would not lend to unconventional or non-traditional businesses like a performance company and even further to a person of color, and even to a female person of color. That was one of the initial road bumps. Then, when the pandemic hit, I had to figure out how to still perform for profit. The audio isn’t great on Zoom, so I started reaching out to other groups and we started performing outdoors, and traveling around the country. They were practically giving hotel rooms away!

What’s a recent small win for you and your business?

Staying Alive. Staying Alive. [laughs] During the pandemic, so many doors closed. But I was able to support my band members who did not have nine-to-fives to fall back on. Now, whenever I do have a performance, if they have something booked, they'll find a sub for that book and come and perform with me. You got to love that integrity.

Who is a woman in business that you look up to and why?

I had the opportunity to meet [a late Supreme Court Justice]. I was a flight attendant, and when she was leaving the plane, she told me she had never experienced a flight with my service ever before. Of course, I was floating. For someone of that caliber to stop and actually recognize and acknowledge my services is truly amazing. I love her story, how she was able to balance work and life and family, then to be able to go as far as the Supreme Court. That was amazing to me.

What's a book, podcast, or resource that has made an impact on you as an entrepreneur?

I love motivational speaker Jim Rohn’s practical applications and how he helps an individual to recognize that a lot of what we are hoping to obtain is already within us, it's a matter of focus. It's a matter of keeping our thought processes positive and moving forward. And also to keep our circle with positive like-minded individuals.

How has the free Verizon Small Business program helped propel your business forward?

The one beautiful thing that I love that Verizon did was to analyze my website [via 1:1 coaching]. I started to learn how my website was being utilized in terms of the traffic and how I can make better use of it. Their digital platform also offered peer networking, peer coaching, mentoring, and it was not a long drawn-out type of programming or training. It was to the point, and then offered a way to get more information. Finally, what I learned from the Verizon program is how to pay myself and how to assess my worth. I was paying myself whatever was leftover, but I realized that was wrong. I needed to give myself a salary.

Learn more about the free Verizon Small Business Digital Ready Program and Agape Vibes.

Illustration by Daniela Jordan-Villaveces.

Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck's Relationship Timeline

Winter 2002 — Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Meet On The Set Of Gigli

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck first met while filming their 2003 movie Gigli. "The first time meeting him on that film was at the read-through," Jennifer tells Variety. "I remember kind of just walking in and I think he was outside, smoking a cigarette...I don't remember a whole bunch more about it, but I remember being on the set with him every day and loving it."

November 2002 — Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Announce Their Engagement

During an interview with Diane Sawyer at the end of 2002, Jennifer Lopez showed off the engagement ring from Ben Affleck. The platinum band + pink diamond combo is absolutely beautiful, just like the proposal itself. "[It was] traditional, but also in a very spectacular way, as of course Ben would do it," Jennifer says, via ABC News.

"He is brilliantly smart, loving, charming, affectionate," she continues. "And I just admire him in every way. I respect him. I feel like he teaches me things."

Early 2003 — Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Experience The Tabloids Firsthand

Before the age of iPhones and TikTok, celebs constantly dealt with the tabloids — even more than they do now. And as one of the hottest couples in the world, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez constantly faced paparazzi and tabloids. “We didn’t try to have a public relationship,” Jennifer Lopez tells PEOPLE in 2016. “We just happened to be together at the birth of the tabloids, and it was like ‘Oh my God.’ It was just a lot of pressure.”

"People were so f*cking mean about her," Ben Affleck says on The Hollywood Reporter's Awards Chatter podcastin 2021. "Sexist, racist. Ugly, vicious sh*t was written about her in ways that if you wrote it now you would literally be fired for saying those things you said...Now it's like, she's lionized and respected for the work she did, where she came from, what she accomplished — as well she f*cking should be!"

September 10, 2003 — Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Call Off Their Wedding

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck were supposed to be married on September 14, 2003, but four days before their wedding, they postponed the ceremony. "Due to the excessive media attention surrounding our wedding, we have decided to postpone the date," the couple says in their official statement, via PEOPLE. "When we found ourselves seriously contemplating hiring three separate 'decoy brides' at three different locations, we realized that something was awry."

"It was so painful after we broke up," Jennifer tells Apple Music's Zane Lowe in 2024. "Once we called off that wedding 20 years ago, it was the biggest heartbreak of my life. I honestly felt like I was going to die. It sent me on a spiral for the next 18 years where I just couldn't get it right. But now, 20 years later, it does have a happy ending. It has the most would-never-happen-in-Hollywood ending."

February 18, 2020 — Ben Affleck Supports Jennifer Lopez In Hustlers

At the beginning of 2020, in an interview with The New York Times, Ben Affleck voiced his support for Jennifer Lopez. "She should have been nominated [for Hustlers]," he says. "She's the real thing. I keep in touch periodically with her and have a lot of respect for her. How awesome is it that she had her biggest hit movie at 50? That's f*cking baller."

May 10, 2021 — Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Take A Trip Together

July 24, 2021 — Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Make Their Relationship Instagram Official

Hidden at the end of an Instagram carousel, Jennifer Lopez posted a photo of her kissing Ben Affleck. "5 2 … what it do …" the caption reads.

September 10, 2021 — Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Walk The Red Carpet

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck attended the premiere of his film The Last Duel at the 2021 Venice Film Festival. They both looked amazing in old school glam!

April 8, 2022 — Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Announce Their Second Engagement

PEOPLE confirmed that Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck were engaged again in the spring of 2022. Jennifer also revealed the news via email and on social media. "So I have a really exciting and special story to share," she said on Twitter.

July 16, 2022 — Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Finally Get Married!

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck finally tied the knot in July of 2022. Jennifer shared the details about the "best night ever" via On The JLo newsletter (via PEOPLE) the next day. The couple later had a larger ceremony in Georgia.

"It's a beautiful outcome that this has happened in this way at this time in our lives where we can really appreciate and celebrate each other and respect each other," she says. "We always did, but we have even more of an appreciation because we know that life can take you in different directions."

"[Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck] were attentive only to each other, didn't have eyes for anything else," a PEOPLE source said after spotting the couple on their honeymoon in Lake Como, Italy.

February 14, 2023 — Jennifer Lopez Reveals Her Tattoo With Ben Affleck

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck showed off their coordinating tattoos on J.Lo's Instagram. The tattoos (hers of an arrow through an infinity sign on her ribcage and his of two arrows tied to one another) are super cute together!

"Commitment," Jennifer says in her Instagram post. "Happy Valentine’s Day my love."

May 3, 2023 — Jennifer Lopez Calls Ben Affleck A "Wonderful Father"

When she was on the Today Show (via Twitter) at the beginning of May 2023, Jennifer Lopez had high praise for Ben Affleck's relationship with all their kids. Jennifer has twins, Max and Emme, with Marc Anthony, while Ben Affleck shares three kids, Samuel, Seraphina, and Violet, with Jennifer Garner.

"He's a wonderful, wonderful father," J.Lo says in the interview. "And a father figure to [Max and Emme] as well, because he has his own three beautiful children, and then there's us...They love him. And they appreciate him, and so do I."

August 21, 2023 — Jennifer Lopez Celebrates Her One Year Anniversary With Ben Affleck

In honor of their first wedding anniversary, Jennifer Lopez shared some photos, and some lyrics from "Dear Ben, Pt II", to Instagram. "One year ago today," she says in the caption. "Dear Ben, Sitting here alone / Looking at my ring ring / Feeling overwhelmed / It makes me wanna sing sing / How did we end up here / Without a rewind / Oh my / This is my life...Jennifer"

February 11, 2024 — Ben Affleck And Jennifer Lopez Star In A Super Bowl Commercial

Following Ben Affleck's iconic, viral photos with his Dunkin' coffee, the couple starred in Dunkin' Donuts' 2024 Super Bowl ad — in addition to Matt Damon, Jack Harlow, and Tom Brady. The commercial features Ben and his friends coming into the studio while Jennifer records her newest album This Is Me Now... — a move that is not well received.

February 26, 2024 — Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Reveal Why They Originally Split Up

"Ben and I, we broke up three days before our wedding," J.Lo recalled in her new documentary The Greatest Love Story Never Told. "We had a big wedding planned—14 ushers and bridesmaids—and three days before, we just crumbled under the pressure."

"For all those years, it was really hard because I didn't just feel like I lost the love of my life, I felt like I lost the best friend that I ever had," Jennifer continues. "I've made it through. I've made something good of my life. I'm proud of that."

May 15, 2024 — Rumors Swirl About Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck's Alleged Divorce

Though Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck have reconnected, there have rumors that their marriage may be in trouble. A source alerted InTouch Weekly that there have been obvious signs that something is wrong for a while.

"The writing is on the wall – it’s over," the source claims before saying, "They’re headed for a divorce – and for once, [Ben’s] not to blame!" The source believes the two have a lot of love for each other, but that they're jus too different to be together.

TMZ has also reported that Ben seems like he hasn't been living at home — yikes! He was photographed leaving going to and coming from a L.A. home without Jennifer. It's also being reported that he's been allegedly spending the night there.

But, TMZ also pointed out that the pair are still wearing their wedding rings so it's hard to say if there's any merit to the breakup rumors. Until Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck actually give a statement, I'm going to cross my fingers and hope for the best! And we're not the only ones — 13 Going on 30's Jennifer Garner (who was married to Ben Affleck from 2005-2015) “is encouraging Ben to work on his marriage to Jen,” according to an Us Weeklysource. “She fully supports their relationship and wants nothing more than for him to be happy.”

Also, Jennifer Lopez wants us to really mind our business. People reported than an actress was not feeling a pushy reporter's question about her marriage and didn't have a problem letting them know. She was promoting Atlas with her co-stars when said reporter asked, "Is your divorce with Ben Affleck real? These rumors?"

Though her co-star Simu Liu expressed his disdain for the questions first, Jennifer quickly said," You know better than that." This lets us know that Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are well aware that people are talking about their marriage.

Still, this hasn't stopped insiders from talking about what's going on behind closed doors. One even reached out to People to say, "They’re still living separately," and "She’s back in L.A. for tour rehearsals. She seems okay. She’s very focused on work." The outlet even reported that the couple are in fact living apart and have been seen on several occasions without each other.

While I know some people could care less, I remember when Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck first started dating so to see them struggling again feels a little painful. I'm trying to keep hope alive, but they ultimately know what's going on in their relationship. If they do choose to separate, that's a choice we'll all have to respect.

May 31, 2024 — Jennifer Lopez Cancels Her "This Is Me" Tour

At the end of May, Jennifer Lopez revealed she was cancelling her summer tour to spend time with family. Her newsletter (via Variety) reveals that “Jennifer is taking time off to be with her children, family and close friends." (Refunds will be distributed through Ticketmaster automatically; third party purchase sites need to be contacted).

“I am completely heartsick and devastated about letting you down," Jennifer continues in the newsletter. “Please know that I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t feel that it was absolutely necessary. I promise I will make it up to you and we will all be together again. I love you all so much. Until next time…”

June 21, 2024 — Ben Affleck Discusses Family Life With Jennifer Lopez

In a newly released interview with Kevin Hart, Ben Affleck showed a rare vulnerability that we don't often see. The two chatted about several things during the Season 4 premiere of Hart to Heart, but it was Ben's admission that he has "resting hard face" (via Entertainment Tonight) that caught our attention.

Though there have been theories about why Ben often looks like he'd rather be somewhere else than dealing with paparazzi, he made it clear why he's not always smiling when the cameras are on him. "I also don't like a lot of attention...people see me [and] they're like, ‘Well, this dude always mad…’ Because somebody has their camera and sticking to my face.”

Ben even mentioned a time when he, Jennifer, and their kids were trying to make it to a play while walking through Times Square. Though he knows fans are going to be excited to see them, it's obvious he's not thrilled when their kids are subject to that kind of pandemonium.

"We get out with her, all the kids, through Times Square, and the s--- was like f---in’ bananas...it feels like hundreds of people and now screaming," Ben explained (via People).

July 20, 2024 — Jennifer Lopez Throws A Bridgerton-Themed Birthday Party

She also posted a few selfies on Instagram to share her excitement about the special day. "Today is gonna be a great day 🤍🙏🏼 Happy Saturday everybody ☀️," she wrote as her caption.

Though other guests — including Jennifer's mom — attended the Bridgerton-themed soirée, a source made special note of Ben Affleck's absence (via People).

They've yet to confirm the status of their relationship, but it seems they're giving each other space.

August 20, 2024 — Jennifer Lopez Files For Divorce With No Prenup

After months of rumored separation between the two, it seems that Jennifer Lopez has finally filed for divorce from her husband, Ben Affleck, after 2 years of marriage. Many speculated their separation this year, but since Lopez was spotted multiple times with Affleck’s kids, it seemingly put those rumors to rest. But after this filing citing their separation date as April 26, 2024, it seems like any outing was due to those close relationship over the years, and because of Lopez and Affleck’s kids being friends.

TMZ reported about Lopez’s filing, stating that there is “indeed no prenuptial agreement.” This means that they split everything 50/50 from their 2 years of marriage. While TMZ says that the two are not on speaking terms, hopefully the two can seek some peace in this situation in the future!

August 31, 2024 — Jennifer Lopez Is Moving On

She may be heartbroken, but Jennifer Lopez knows the key to getting over an ex is moving on. She cryptically acknowledged her eventful summer with the largest picture carousel I've seen on Instagram in years and looked great in most of her candid shots.

She kept her caption lighthearted by writing, "Oh, it was a summer" and was essentially met with rounds of applause from fans. One person even called her, "AN UNBOTHERED Queen!"

Even if that only scratches the surface of her emotions, it's clear Jennifer believes "Everything is unfolding in divine order" per the second picture in her carousel.