11 Obvious Signs You’re Actually An Empath, According To A Therapist

Nov 08, 2024

You and your friends have likely spent countless hours together, decoding everything from imaginationships to the best comfort shows to watch when you're sad. You've probably even settled into a designated role within the group. Maybe you're the super adventurous one, always suggesting friend date ideas for the group to try, while someone else always knows how to comfort everyone when life gets rough. But, have you ever wondered if you're the most empathetic friend in the group? That's easy, just ask Brianna Paruolo, LCMCH. She's the founder and clinical director of On Par Therapyso she knows how to recognize signs you're an empath, plus how to take care of yourself!

TL;DR

Empathy is when "you feel what others are feeling."
There are physical, emotional, social, and mental signs that you're an empath.
You may be an empath if you get physically exhausted after being in crowds, feel anxious or overwhelmed in emotionally charged environments, feel responsible for other people's happiness, or you find it hard to distinguish your own feelings from someone else's.

Are there really assigned roles in friend groups or am I just imagining things?

Gary Barnes

Like I said before, it can seem like you and your friends unintentionally gravitate toward certain 'roles.' It's not like anyone woke up one day and decided, "I'm going to be the 'mother hen' of the group," but it tends to happen. Why?

Paruolo says, "In my clinical work, I've consistently observed that our friendship roles often mirror our early family dynamics. These patterns show up naturally — think about who in your friend group gets the first crisis call, who plans all the gatherings, or who everyone turns to for emotional support." I'm willing to bet you thought of a name for each scenario — including yours — because I know I did!

"Like in families, we each fall into specific roles that feel familiar to us," Paruolo further explains.

What actually makes someone an empathetic person?

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There's so many definitions for empathy, but I thought it would be wise to ask a licensed professional for her opinion on the matter. "Empathy means to feel what others are feeling. You do not have to have a personal direct experience with something to feel empathy for another person," shares Paruolo.

For example, your friend could call to tell you she has to have fibroid removal surgery and is feeling scared. You may have never had surgery, but you could find yourself feeling the need to comfort her in spite of this. Paruolo says, "The cool thing about our brains is that we have mirror neurons, which means part of our brain is set up to feel what others feel. The ability to attune to others' emotional states comes naturally to some people, while others may need to develop this capacity more consciously."

Yaroslav Shuraev

To break it down even further, here's signs that Paruolo says point to your empathetic nature.

Physical Signs:

Getting physically exhausted after being in crowds
Feeling drained after social interactions, even enjoyable ones (OMG I feel so seen!)
Needing extra time alone to recharge

Emotional Signs:

Absorbing other people's emotions like a sponge
Feeling anxious or overwhelmed in emotionally charged environments
Finding it hard to watch violence or cruelty in movies/TV

Social Signs:

Feeling responsible for others' happiness
Having trouble saying "no" to people who need help

Mental Signs:

Picking up on subtle changes in others' moods
Being highly attuned to body language and tone
Finding it hard to distinguish your feelings from others' feelings

It sounds like I'm the empathetic friend, but are there any downsides to this?

Mikhail Nilov

I've been an empath for as long as I can remember and I've found that I have to 'recharge' my social batteries at times. I thought it was because I was trying to be superwoman by fixing others' problems, but it turns out theres more to it than that. Paruolo says, "Empathetic friends and people have an uncanny ability to sense others' emotional states even when unspoken, and frequently need recovery time after intense social interactions. They tend to be deeply affected by others' experiences and naturally consider situations from multiple perspectives."

In the long run, she says it can be "distressing" for some people to always feel the feelings of others. Over time, she says, "it can cause you to shut down and retract." This can look like not being as quick to respond to the funny memes your friends send you or not even answering their phone calls right away.

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But, this doesn't mean you're the only person who tends to go through this. "Many empaths struggle with maintaining boundaries due to their deep emotional attunement," she says. Color me guilty because this sounds so much like me. It got so bad at one point that my sister nicknamed me 'Captain Save-A-Lot,' which is actually the clean version of what she truly meant. Still, empathy fatigue is no laughing matter nor does it mean you're defected. You just have the natural ability to show people their feelings are important to you.

How can I protect my peace as the empathetic friend?

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You know you need to set boundaries, but what does that mean? Paruolo says, "The key is understanding that empathy needs to be balanced with compassion - it's not just about feeling others' emotions but also knowing how to help without depleting yourself."

One of the things she loves to do is "encourage empaths to set clear boundaries around their emotional availability and make time for regular grounding exercises." As with gratitude journaling, try to focus on an activity that calls for you to be present. Focus on what you can hear, see, touch, taste, and smell.

"Self-care isn't just a luxury; it's essential maintenance for empaths. This might mean scheduling alone time, finding a supportive therapist, or joining communities where you can process your experiences," Paruolo implores.

I know how to be there for others, but how do I ask for emotional support when I need it?

Vitaly Gariev

You may feel like it's impossible to ask others for help since your shoulders are the ones people cry on, but you're only doing yourself a disservice by not speaking up. No one's super resilient or able to handle all of their distressing feelings alone. We're not meant to.

It's the reason Paruolo wants you to speak up about what you need. "The most effective approach I've seen is being direct about your needs rather than hoping others will figure them out," she says. I made this mistake during postpartum and found myself expecting my family & friends to know exactly how I felt, but they're not mind readers. The more I verbally asked for help with little or big tasks, the more my mental and emotional load lightened.

Paruolo wants you to look at "asking for support as strengthening your friendships through trust and vulnerability, instead of waiting until you're overwhelmed." By the time you reach that point, you'll be ready to enter rage or full-blown shut down mode and they're not fun.

Avoid unlocking their proverbial doors by scheduling "regular check-ins with trusted friends," suggests Paruolo. "This creates a sustainable support system and helps prevent emotional crisis points.

We have even more self-care stories for you to dive into if you need a mental and emotional boost!

13 Quick & Easy Ways To Calm Down When You’re Stressed Out

Lately, we've been faced with anxiety everywhere we turn. It's okay if (like us), you don't always know how to deal with the toughest of times, especially when the tough times never seem to end. If you are feeling that way, we're right there with you! Our team has always shared the ways we cope with our personal stressors over the years, and we wanna share these quick and easy tips for how to calm down with you! Keep reading for our recommendations — hopefully they can help the next time you're feeling anxious.

Thirdman

Intentional Thoughts

I'm someone who has a hard time letting things go; I can agonize over one thought or situation for days! Because of this, I focus a lot on taking thoughts captive, which just means pinpointing anxious thoughts and replacing them with what I know is true.

When I have an anxious thought, I do a creative visualization exercise in which I imagine it's inside a bubble floating over my head. Then I slam an imaginary door over the memory and lock it. Then the bubble explodes and the thought doesn't exist anymore. It's not necessarily pretending like it never happened, but it does allow me to exercise some control over what I allow myself to spend time and energy thinking about.

—Choe Williams, Entertainment Editor

Mikhail Nilov

Breathing Techniques

My mom is a Pre-K teacher and suggested I try the breathing exercises she does with her kids who are just four years old (I'm 31 for context). The first is called Mountain Breathing, which entails holding up your hand and tracing the outline of your fingers. As you climb up the mountain (or your finger), inhale, and as you trace down into the valley between your fingers, exhale. Another breathing visualization she recommends is as you inhale, imagine yourself breathing in to smell the flowers, and exhale to blow out a candle. These little imaginative scenarios help me get out of my head and focus on my breathing when I need a little reset throughout the day.

Hammock Swinging

Whenever I'm feeling super stressed, I head for the hammock I setup in my front yard. Just as rocking can soothe babies, swinging in a hammock is a powerful soother for adults too! I feel super chilled afterwards and am usually getting some Vitamin D while I'm at it for a win-win.

Painting

During the pandemic, I revisited arts and crafts with soft pastels. I started mixing the colors and doing gradient shadings on card stock with my hands, and it proved to be a super meditative way to decompress. The end result is DIY art you can share or pin on your fridge or wall.

—Alison Ives, Head Of Content

KoolShooters

Breathing Techniques

Nothing calms me down quite like alternate-nostril breathing. I first learned about this technique in my yoga classes, but the practice (called Nadi Shodhana in Sanskrit) dates back to the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, which was thought to be written sometime between 200 BC and 200 CE. Put simply, you sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and cover one nostril while you breathe in through the other. Then, you switch which nostril you're holding closed, and breathe out. In modern times, the connection between vagal nerve tone (which is correlated with anxiety and emotional regulation) and alternate-nostril breathing is becoming more and more mainstream, which may eventually help us better understand why this practice is so naturally calming.

Tarot Reading

Tarot can mean a lot of different things to different people. For me, I use tarot cards as a method to help me understand what lessons I'm learning at any given time. This has allowed me to view stressors in my life as learning experiences, which has helped me stay calm in numerous crises. I personally like to light some incense or a scented candle, sit quietly, and pull a card to see what resonates. That said, tarot and its associated images and meanings can be scary or triggering if you don't have a deep and gentle understanding of what the cards mean. I recommend Lindsay Mack's classes and podcasts for anyone who wants to learn about tarot in a non-judgemental, non-predictive, trauma-informed way.

—Maggie McCracken, Former Senior Editor

Gustavo Fring

Sensory Accessories

My recent ways of coping/de-stressing have primarily been spiky sensory finger rings, which are a huge help when I need to get something done and can't stop my day to destress. I grab one of these guys which I have all over the place (most of my jacket pockets + purses), and it helps to calm me down and reset my focus.

Meditation On The Move

Another thing I do that I am trying to integrate into my daily routine is guided meditation walks. As someone who hasn't mastered sitting meditation I've found some on Headspace that I'm enjoying that are specifically for going on a walk through a city.

—Claire Shadomy, Former Graphic Designer

Kate Branch

Baths...

In times of high stress, or after a long day, my go-to is always a candle-lit bath soak. I put a large scoop of Epsom salts in the tub with a few drops of my favorite essential oil and place tea lights all around the tub. It’s like my secret getaway from the rest of the world. I always make a point to leave my phone in the other room too so I utilize the time to just relax in silence. Water triggers the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for the body's “rest and digest” response. It always gets my heart rate and blood pressure down.

...And Sound Baths

Sound baths are a meditative experience where you’re “bathed” in sound waves. I love to watch them online but you can also create your own experience. I find meditating with a singing bowl so relaxing. It can take a little practice, but once you’ve nailed the hand movement, it’s an interactive way to ease stress and channel your focus elsewhere.

—Allison Cimo, Former Social Media Manager

Brady Knoll

Take A Hike

Pretty much every day in 2020 I walked the trails near my house and I started to pick up a small rock each time. I'd fidget with it while I cleared my mind and let nature calm my nerves. I would throw the rock back into nature after my hike and it felt like a release for all of my worries.

Bedtime Music

My daughter and I listen to Doze sleep music on Headspace before we go to bed. It calms her late-night zoomies (and mine) and gets her to sleep in minutes!

—Theresa Gonzalez, Branded Content Editor

Anastasia Shuraeva

Journaling

What I use for my anxiety is the Intelligent Change Five Minute Journal. I have a safe word in place for when I feel myself spiraling or I'm not able to control my thoughts and breathing.

—Brittney Davis, Account Manager

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5 Easy Journal Prompts To Turn Your Day Around

Last night I realized I was pregnant during the height of the pandemic and the 2020 election cycle, but I didn't have any self-care practices in sight. I was chronically stressed and spent way too much time on social media when I should've been finding ways to ground myself. After a tough four years of navigating everything from motherhood to starting my career, I've finally started utilizing gratitude journaling as a tool to get through tough days.

I don't know how you may be feeling today, but I've created journal prompts you can refer to when you're scared, anxious, unsure of the future, and more. They're not meant to replace meditation or seeking therapy, but they are here for moments you need to check in with yourself.

A Gratitude Journaling Idea For When You're Worried About The Future

Arina Krasnikova

Write Down 5 Things You're Grateful You Can See, Touch, Hear, And Smell

This is actually a practice I picked up in therapy to help redirect my anxious thoughts. It's something I often refer to when I'm fixated on the future and things that might happen. Any time you feel yourself not being present because you're worried about what's next, focus on things that are immediately in front of you or around you.

For example, here's what's reminding me to be present:

I can hear one of my favorite gospel songs playing and the subtle humming I'm doing.
I can see two lime green books on my desk.
I can smell the clean laundry my fiancé took out of the dryer.
I'm touching the keys on my keyboard as I type this.

Although they seem small, I'm grateful they're helping to keep me rooted in the present moment. So, what are you grateful you can see, touch, hear, and smell today?

Gratitude Journaling Idea For When You're Experiencing Sadness

Darina Belonogova

Write Down 3 Things You're Grateful For Today

Practicing gratitude when you're sad isn't so you can pretend the sadness doesn't exist. It's a very real emotion that calls for us to be curious about why we're feeling that way. However, if you feel like you're 'stuck' in your sadness, you can try writing down 3 things you're grateful for right now. Again, they don't have to be grandiose. They just have to make sense to you.

You could be grateful for:

Eating a delicious meal
Having a good night's sleep
Hearing your favorite song at the right moment
Morning snuggles with your pet or toddler
Having access to binge watch your favorite TV show when you need to escape reality for a bit

Antoni Shkraba

Write Down The People You're Grateful You Can Rely On

My hope is that everyone has at least one person they can rely on during difficult moments in life. I know everyone doesn't have huge villages for different reasons, but I'd rather focus on who is there.

This gratitude journaling idea doesn't require you to go in depth about why you're grateful for the people in your corner unless you want to. You can simply write their names down if that's all you have the bandwidth for.

Pavel Danilyuk

Recount A Memory That Always Makes You Smile

When in doubt, think about a moment that was hilarious or filled you with joy. It can be from your childhood, first year in college, or even your wedding day! The one memory that always makes me smile is from an interesting moment I told one of my uncles he looked like Santa Claus. I was around 5 or 6 years old, so it was a super innocent comment, but still it was hilarious nonetheless. No one in my family has let my uncle or me forget that moment. It's small, but it's one of the memories I'm grateful I can remember when I'm feeling sad.

A Gratitude Journaling Idea For When You Feel You're Not Doing Enough

Antoni Shkraba

Write Down 1 Thing You've Grateful You've Accomplished

I know some journal prompts ask you to list multiple things you've recently accomplished, but I've found that makes me a little more anxious that necessary. If this sounds like you, I see you and think it's just as impactful to be grateful for one thing you've done that you're proud of. It could be as simple as:

"I had the strength to get out of bed today after wanting to do nothing more than hide under the covers."
"I did laundry and put everything away."
"I made myself a meal instead of ordering lunch like I usually do."
"I stuck to my budget this week."
"My presentation at work or school went really well."
"I made that scary phone call I've been putting off."
"I went for a walk around my neighborhood or local park."

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This 'Southern Charm' Cast Member Just Quit The Show Ahead Of Season 10 Premiere

It's been a minute since we last saw our Southern Charm faves on screen, but they're finally back for season 10! From the Taylor-Shep-Olivia-Austen of it all to the gradual shift of Craig away from...everyone except Paige, a lot's happened since last year. And as if keeping up with all that wasn't enough, the trailer just dropped, and I have plenty of thoughts. So here's everything you should know from what to expect for season 10, who's returning, and when you can watch Southern Charm! Let's get into it!

Watch The 'Southern Charm' Trailer Here!

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- YouTube

Here's every thought I had throughout the Southern Charm season 10 trailer!

The whole trailer starts off with Craig saying, “You can either accept the life that I live now, or not." That DEFINITELY sets the tone for the rest of this first look — and seemingly the rest of season 10.
Despite whatever drama may come, it's clear that Shep's inner child is alive and well. That "olly olly oxen free" and cannonball moment is soooo extremely him.
We're getting a group Bahamas trip! You know that can only mean one thing: DRAMA. Nothing changes the dynamic like being outside of Charleston!
There's a new girl in the group, named Molly! Apparently she "used to sext Craig," but she's " not trying to steal him from Paige or anything." Okay, sure Jan...
Taylor has a new boyfriend. Color me unsurprised!

Bravo

Excuse me, but Venita & JT?!?! IDK how to feel...
After Craig tells Patricia that JT called her a b--ch, Madison says, “He will be the b--ch when I’m done with him.” I mean, you really just don't go after Patricia — everyone knows that!
Every time Craig and Austen talk, it's clear they're exasperated with one another. Craig said, “Our friendship will never look like it used to." As much as I'm happy to see Craig setting clear boundaries with his friends, I'd definitely hate to see this bromance die. (Even though IDK if I'll ever forgive Austen for the Ciara of it all...)
And in another unsurprising update: Shep has a new girlfriend — and she's the former Miss Bahamas! According to Madison, she's a Southern Charm fan, so it seems like some people think she's just using him as pawn to get on the show. All I know is we eventually see Shep walking away dejected and saying, “I shouldn’t have done this.” YIKES.
And as predictable as the rain, of course there's drama with Shep, Taylor, and another woman — Salley. According to Salley, she and Shep slept together, and Taylor doesn't seem to take this well. She said, "I dated Shep for two years. Y'all just f----d!"

It's clear this southern faves have no shortage of drama to pull from yet again...

Who's returning for 'Southern Charm' season 10?

Bravo

Our charmers Venita Aspen, Leva Bonaparte, Craig Conover, Taylor Ann Green, Austen Kroll, Madison LeCroy, Rodrigo Reyes, Shep Rose, and Jarrett “JT” Thomas are all set to return for season 10! Patricia Altschul and her son Whitney Sudler-Smith will also appear throughout the season — because it wouldn't be Southern Charm without this duo, TBH!

While JT will be back for this season, he just announced season 10 will be his last. He announced his impending departure in an Instagram post, writing, "It comes with a heavy heard to share that I have resigned from Southern Charm." He continued, explaining that he won't participate in his "2-3 remaining green room interviews remaining" before the season 10 premiere. He said, "...I no longer wish to participate in any ways moving forward with the TV show." After the bombshell, JT elaborated that he's going to "work on next steps to recover both physically and mentally from what has been an extremely challenging & exhausting year."

Needless to say, this is extremely shocking! Most of the drama outlined in the trailer revolves around Craig, Austen, and Shep, but it's clear there's way more to this story. We'll for sure keep an eye out for more details as this continues to unfold.

One face we're sad to see gone is Olivia Flowers. In regards to leaving the show, she told Scheana Shay on Scheananigans, "It wasn't my choice." Apparently producers told her the decision came because she seemed estranged from the Charleston scene, often traveling, spending time in Texas, and connecting with her new boyfriend. And while that may have bothered her at the time, it's clear that Olivia doesn't have time to worry about all that given her recent engagement to Alex Williams.

Are there any new cast members for 'Southern Charm' season 10?

This season, we're getting a few newcomers to Charleston! Salley Carson is "a bubbly party girl by night and a robotics technician for surgical procedures by day. The debutante is gorgeous, intelligent, and independent, and she shares a curiously parallel romantic past with Taylor." Yeah, that definitely spells trouble in Shep-ville. Outside of the social scene, her bio reads that Salley works in spinal robotics — nothing short of impressive there! I can't wait to see what this brainy beauty adds to the group!

Molly O’Connell also joins season 10 after apparently showing up in the background of previous seasons for years. So while she's new to the show, she's definitely been a friend of the group for a while. Still, this isn't Molly's first foray into TV — she was on America's Next Top Model in 2010 and continued her modeling career for years afterwards. On top of all that? She's also appeared as a charter guest on Below Deck. Clearly, this girl was made for the screen!

Ryan Albert hops on board this season as a friend of Patricia's — because who doesn't this woman know in Charleston?! According to Bravo, he's a stay-at-home-husband who volunteers — and hosts parties — in his free time.

When does 'Southern Charm' season 10 come out?

Bravo

Southern Charm season 10 premieres Thursday, Dec. 5 at 9 p.m. ET/PT! I'll be tuned in with rosé in-hand and mouth agape!

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11 Obvious Signs You’re Actually An Empath, According To A Therapist

TL;DR

Are there really assigned roles in friend groups or am I just imagining things?

What actually makes someone an empathetic person?

It sounds like I'm the empathetic friend, but are there any downsides to this?

How can I protect my peace as the empathetic friend?

I know how to be there for others, but how do I ask for emotional support when I need it?

Intentional Thoughts

Breathing Techniques

Hammock Swinging

Painting

Breathing Techniques

Tarot Reading

Sensory Accessories

Meditation On The Move

Baths...

...And Sound Baths

Take A Hike

Bedtime Music

Journaling

A Gratitude Journaling Idea For When You're Worried About The Future

Write Down 5 Things You're Grateful You Can See, Touch, Hear, And Smell

Gratitude Journaling Idea For When You're Experiencing Sadness

Write Down 3 Things You're Grateful For Today

Write Down The People You're Grateful You Can Rely On

Recount A Memory That Always Makes You Smile

A Gratitude Journaling Idea For When You Feel You're Not Doing Enough

Write Down 1 Thing You've Grateful You've Accomplished

Watch The 'Southern Charm' Trailer Here!

Who's returning for 'Southern Charm' season 10?

Are there any new cast members for 'Southern Charm' season 10?

When does 'Southern Charm' season 10 come out?

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