Nightly Journal Prompts For Personal Growth, Based On Your Enneagram Type

woman journaling with enneagram

The Enneagram isn't just a personality type system — once you dig into it, you'll learn that the system is actually all about overcoming the constraints of your personality. Once you've figured out your Enneagram type through lots of introspection, you can start to become aware of the habitual thoughts and behaviors you've developed in response to childhood trauma and societal pressures. If you already know your type, it can be really helpful to journal each night about the day that just went by, and how your type's issues may have manifested in your thoughts and actions. Here are nine journal prompts you can try, based on your Enneagram type, to help you reflect on and move past your type's personal challenges.

Type 1

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"In what ways was I critical of myself and others today?"

Type 1 is characterized by the need to detect errors, improve the world, and make things more perfect. For some 1s, that manifests in being incredibly self-critical, while for others, that criticism may be directed toward the people and institutions around them.

At the end of the day, Type 1s can reflect on these tendencies by taking note of instances in which they were unnecessarily critical of themselves, others, and their environment. Noticing these patterns is the key to eventually overcoming them.

Type 2

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"During the course of the day, how did I shift my behavior to appear more likable and charming to others?"

Type 2 is often called "The Helper," but there's more to this type than simply lending a helping hand to other people. The biggest issue for Type 2s is their need to be liked, and while this can manifest as helping others, it can also take the form of being charming, cute, and likeable.

Each night, make it a point to reflect on how you may have shifted your behavior to earn others' approval, whether by being nice, acting upbeat, or even being seductive in your interactions.

Type 3

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"In what ways did I overly focus on my outward appearance, success, and competence today?"

Type 3s focus their attention on appearing successful, competent, and societally attractive. This can manifest as working too hard, dressing according to trends rather than their own tastes, showing off their wealth — really, anything that makes them look admirable in the eyes of others. What it all comes down to is that 3s focus on what's acceptable and prized by society, rather than knowing who they truly are or what they truly want.

The first step toward knowing your true self better is to realize how you prioritize appearing successful. At the end of the day, take note on ways you shifted your appearance or behavior in order to seem successful in the eyes of others.

Type 4

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"In what ways did I compare myself to others today? Did I find myself to be better than or less than others?"

Type 4s often want to feel unique and special, and the reason for this is that deep down, they feel as though they are somehow deficient. They constantly reinforce these untrue thoughts by comparing themselves to others — often seeing themselves as lacking what others have, but sometimes by feeling superior to others as a defense mechanism.

Each night, it will be beneficial for 4s to sit down with themselves and have an honest conversation about how they compared themselves to others throughout the day. Notice whether you found yourself envying others, or feeling superior — both are a symptom of your inner tendency to constantly compare.

Type 5

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"What are some examples of ways I isolated myself and detached from others today?"

Type 5s live in their heads because they find it safer than opening up to other people. A lot of this stems from a deeper fear that their energy will be used up or depleted by others — and especially by others' emotions. They fear being overwhelmed by others' needs, moods, and demands.

If you're a Type 5, take a moment to reflect on ways you may have purposely avoided other people, whether literally or emotionally. Perhaps taking your lunch break alone felt less scary than interacting with your coworkers, or maybe you preferred to watch a movie or have an intellectual discussion with your partner, rather than opening up emotionally.

Type 6

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"In what ways did I anticipate worst-case scenarios today? Did I 'prepare' for these scenarios by confronting them head-on, worrying excessively, or relying on others?

Type 6s anticipate all the ways in which things could go wrong, and then make attempts to prevent worst-case scenarios. Some 6s try to prevent their fears from coming true by teaming up with others or following the rules, while other 6s (often called counter-phobic 6s), head these situations off by coming at them directly. Either way, these strategies can be problematic, because they consistently lead to worst-case scenario thinking and a profound sense of anxiety.

If you're a 6, journal about ways you anticipated the worst in all manner of situations. Some Type 6's fears manifest more socially (fearing that others are judging you or don't like you), while others are more situational (preparing for storms, catastrophic events, and problems at work). Take note of any and all of the above.

Type 7

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko/Pexels

"What are some examples of how I removed myself from unpleasant feelings or situations today by turning to something more fun and interesting instead?"

If you're a Type 7, you often move away from sad, boring, or unpleasant feelings, and towards stimulating ideas and experiences. This is because unconsciously, you deeply fear being trapped, sad, or lonely. You avoid these feelings by turning toward more "positive" experiences instead. While that all sounds fun, this can lead to becoming emotionally detached, absent, and unable to navigate life's inevitable ups and downs.

Each night, tune into the ways you ignored the darker side of your emotions by focusing on the lighter, brighter aspects of being instead.

Type 8

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"In the course of the day, did I make powerful statements or attempt to make things happen by force of will and excessive action?"

Enneagram Type 8s avoid feeling vulnerable, preferring instead to believe they can accomplish anything. They overcompensate for their inner fears of vulnerability by standing up to others, fighting for the underdog, appearing larger-than-life, and sometimes, being combative or aggressive.

If you're a Type 8, it's important to notice how you bulldoze through life in ways that reinforce your inner fear of being vulnerable or ineffective. The truth is, you can't always manifest your desires into being by sheer force or will, and believing things to be true doesn't make them so.

Type 9

Photo by Arina Krasnikova/Pexels

"Did I have trouble saying 'no' to others today? If so, what conflict was I trying to avoid?"

Type 9s tend to overlook themselves and look instead to other people as a means of avoiding conflict and keeping the peace. This can look like people-pleasing, working when you don't want to work, tuning out your desires, and having trouble saying no.

If you're a Type 9, it can be very hard to notice these behaviors in yourself, because you've tuned your own needs and desires out so completely. As a first step, start taking notice of instances in which you had trouble saying no. This resistance to standing up for yourself is a good indicator of how you may be trying to avoid conflict with others.

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Featured photo by Ivan Samkov/Pexels.

Last night I realized I was pregnant during the height of the pandemic and the 2020 election cycle, but I didn't have any self-care practices in sight. I was chronically stressed and spent way too much time on social media when I should've been finding ways to ground myself. After a tough four years of navigating everything from motherhood to starting my career, I've finally started utilizing gratitude journaling as a tool to get through tough days.

I don't know how you may be feeling today, but I've created journal prompts you can refer to when you're scared, anxious, unsure of the future, and more. They're not meant to replace meditation or seeking therapy, but they are here for moments you need to check in with yourself.

A Gratitude Journaling Idea For When You're Worried About The Future

Arina Krasnikova

Write Down 5 Things You're Grateful You Can See, Touch, Hear, And Smell

This is actually a practice I picked up in therapy to help redirect my anxious thoughts. It's something I often refer to when I'm fixated on the future and things that might happen. Any time you feel yourself not being present because you're worried about what's next, focus on things that are immediately in front of you or around you.

For example, here's what's reminding me to be present:

  • I can hear one of my favorite gospel songs playing and the subtle humming I'm doing.
  • I can see two lime green books on my desk.
  • I can smell the clean laundry my fiancé took out of the dryer.
  • I'm touching the keys on my keyboard as I type this.
Although they seem small, I'm grateful they're helping to keep me rooted in the present moment. So, what are you grateful you can see, touch, hear, and smell today?

Gratitude Journaling Idea For When You're Experiencing Sadness

Darina Belonogova

Write Down 3 Things You're Grateful For Today

Practicing gratitude when you're sad isn't so you can pretend the sadness doesn't exist. It's a very real emotion that calls for us to be curious about why we're feeling that way. However, if you feel like you're 'stuck' in your sadness, you can try writing down 3 things you're grateful for right now. Again, they don't have to be grandiose. They just have to make sense to you.

You could be grateful for:

  • Eating a delicious meal
  • Having a good night's sleep
  • Hearing your favorite song at the right moment
  • Morning snuggles with your pet or toddler
  • Having access to binge watch your favorite TV show when you need to escape reality for a bit

Antoni Shkraba

Write Down The People You're Grateful You Can Rely On

My hope is that everyone has at least one person they can rely on during difficult moments in life. I know everyone doesn't have huge villages for different reasons, but I'd rather focus on who is there.

This gratitude journaling idea doesn't require you to go in depth about why you're grateful for the people in your corner unless you want to. You can simply write their names down if that's all you have the bandwidth for.

Pavel Danilyuk

Recount A Memory That Always Makes You Smile

When in doubt, think about a moment that was hilarious or filled you with joy. It can be from your childhood, first year in college, or even your wedding day! The one memory that always makes me smile is from an interesting moment I told one of my uncles he looked like Santa Claus. I was around 5 or 6 years old, so it was a super innocent comment, but still it was hilarious nonetheless. No one in my family has let my uncle or me forget that moment. It's small, but it's one of the memories I'm grateful I can remember when I'm feeling sad.

A Gratitude Journaling Idea For When You Feel You're Not Doing Enough

Antoni Shkraba

Write Down 1 Thing You've Grateful You've Accomplished

I know some journal prompts ask you to list multiple things you've recently accomplished, but I've found that makes me a little more anxious that necessary. If this sounds like you, I see you and think it's just as impactful to be grateful for one thing you've done that you're proud of. It could be as simple as:

  • "I had the strength to get out of bed today after wanting to do nothing more than hide under the covers."
  • "I did laundry and put everything away."
  • "I made myself a meal instead of ordering lunch like I usually do."
  • "I stuck to my budget this week."
  • "My presentation at work or school went really well."
  • "I made that scary phone call I've been putting off."
  • "I went for a walk around my neighborhood or local park."

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It's official: Blue Ivy looks totally grown up now — especially in her gorgeous gold gown at the Mufasa: The Lion Kingpremiere. It honestly feels like just yesterday that Beyoncé announced she was born, and now she's a star in her own right! She celebrated her Disney film debut with her family by her side on the red carpet (and everyone looking as gorgeous as ever).

While Jay-Z was one of the latest celebrities caught in the crosshairs of P. Diddy allegations, it didn't stop mom and dad from showing their unwavering support. The family put on a united front, smiling for the cameras and praising Blue's work on her latest Disney film, further proving that they're in this together. Here's everything we know!

Details about the Mufasa: The Lion King premiere

Beyoncé & Jay-Z Amazing Support Of Blue Ivy's Role In 'Mufasa'

Jesse Grant/Getty Images for Disney

Blue Ivy stars in Mufasa: The Lion King as Kiara with Beyoncé voicing Nala again. The highly anticipated film will show Mufasa's origins from a young cub to the majestic king we've come to know, love, and mourn.

In this cute BTS clip, Beyoncé and Blue are initially shown in separate recording booths while the latter says, "Don't stare at me." It's a typical response all kids eventually give their parents, but it doesn't bother Beyoncé. She simply smiles and says, "I can't help it. You're just too beautiful girl." Still, she offers a bit of reassurance to Blue. "I'mma be right here closing my eyes."

Blue briefly talked about what it feels like to work on a movie by saying, "If I like told my younger self that I was in a movie, I'd like never believe myself."

The star couldn't help but tear up as she continued to watch Blue and said, "Give me a second. I'm still...just can't believe that's my baby." While sitting side by Blue, Beyoncé eventually turns to look at her to let her know she's "so proud of her." Even Rumi, Beyoncé and Jay-Z's youngest daughter, makes a quick appearance!

The Mufasa: The Lion King premiere occurred December 9 with Beyoncé, Jay-Z, and grandma Tina Knowles standing by Blue Ivy's side. They looked stunning on the red carpet as they wore coordinating outfits. Although the ladies seemed to be present and excited, Jay-Z temporarily looked distracted while all of them were standing together (via PEOPLE).

If we had to guess, it may have something to do with the recent allegations connecting he and P. Diddy weighing on his mind. After the accusation went public, Jay-Z penned his own public statement and shared it to Roc Nations' social channels. The most heartbreaking aspect of it is realizing his children will be able to see everything.

"My wife and I will have to sit our children down, one of whom is at the age where her friends will surely see the press and ask questions about the nature of these claims, and explain the cruelty and greed of people," he wrote (via X). Only time will tell how everything pans out, but we hope this doesn't overshadow Blue Ivy's success, nor do we want to see people vilify her or her siblings for alleged misdeeds of Jay-Z.

At the end of the day, we're so proud of Blue for letting her light shine bright despite everything else!

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The running joke the editorial team and I have is that millennials are tired of living during unprecedented times. From the pandemic to all the other massive moments the last few decades, I've felt like I've been living in a weird vortex for the...majority of my life.

Despite — and maybe sometimes because of — it all, it wasn't until my recent birthday that I realized I've grown a lot. I thought the things I learned in my 20s were clues I'd 'arrived' as a 30-something-year-old, but it turns out I still hadn't fully accepted that learning hard truths isn't always bad in the long run.

I do this weird thing where I tend to focus on things I feel have to be done instead of focusing on how far I've come, but that changed when I turned 33. For the first time, I didn't have a huge celebration that ended in anxiety on my birthday. I relaxed at home with a ton of comfort food, scary movies, and a list of 33 things I have to be grateful for. So, how did I get here?

Let's go back to the beginning of the year, shall we?

I Intentionally Dubbed 2024 My Personal Victory Year

Viridiana Rivera

I, like so many others, woke up on January 1st and decided it would be my year. I set intentional resolutions, goals, and even made sure to be specific about them. Similar to how I write in-depth articles, I broke them into the following sections:

  • Motherhood
  • Relationships
  • Career
  • Wellbeing
  • Spiritual

It's the first year I decided to listen to my heart's desires in order to capture a screenshot of the life I want to live. I even prayed over my resolutions and goals, asking to be guided as I accomplished things or were led to them. As February rolled around, I didn't really think twice about the impact of what I'd done because life started to fall into a familiar hum that becomes mundane after a while.

I guess I needed to be reminded of the intentional goals I'd written down because things got painfully interesting after this.

My First Adult Car Was Totaled

Gustavo Fring

Car accidents are never fun as I've been on the receiving end of one before, but this wasn't like before. This time I was emotionally hurt to learn the first car I'd assumed total responsibility for was no longer going to be mine. Though I knew I was lucky no one was seriously harmed, all I could think about is the morning I paid it off. I had every reason to spend the nice bonus I received from my last job, but I decided paying off my car mattered more in that moment.

This is the car that took me from my parents' home to living on my own, trips out of town, and days spent buckling a newborn into his carseat. For 8 years, this car and I were locked in like besties. It truly felt like we'd grown up together so to have it ripped away so suddenly was heartbreaking.

Even though the SUV I got was aligned with everything my fiancé and I were talking about, I couldn't appreciate it for a while because I all could see what was what I had.

I Took A Chance On A Full-Time Creative Career

George Milton

Once I started making peace with having a new vehicle, I started feeling the urge to leave my first adult job behind. I'd spent 10 years there, but it was becoming obvious that it was time to leave the nest. Similar to my first car, my co-workers watched me go from a wide-eyed college student to a confident adult. Though I learned so much there, I knew it wasn't where I wanted to be forever.

Deciding to leave what felt familiar was one of the scariest things I'd ever done and I spent days wondering if I'd made the right choice. It's not that writing wasn't lucrative, but I had to learn how to navigate a remote job that's been unlike any role I've had before. My imposter syndrome was in overdrive because I was waiting for the shoe to drop off my other foot.

Thoughts like "What if I'm not good enough" or "What if my co-workers hate me," plagued my mind because I couldn't believe I'd taken a chance on myself that seemed like it was working in my favor. That only happens in movies, right? In this case, wrong.

The same month I truly decided to focus on my writing career is when I interviewed Whoopi Goldberg. Since then, I've gone on to talk to different authors and even moderated my first book event in Atlanta. But, it still took a while for me to truly be grateful for the amazing things that's happened this year.

The Day I Turned 33 Put Everything Into Perspective

KoolShooters

PMS plagued me for the better part of last week, so I decided to listen to my body and not do anything for my birthday. I kept waiting for myself to feel disappointed for not getting dressed up, but the feeling never came. The sad part is I almost wanted it to because who doesn't want to celebrate their birthday?

It turns out that I did celebrate, even if it wasn't in the typical 'party and dinner' way.

Deciding to focus on feeling peaceful in my new space, I opened my journal and started writing 33 things I'm grateful for. I didn't think I could find that many things, but it got easier to start being appreciative of life instead of focusing on everything I'd even thought went wrong.

In between bites of pizza and cheesy bread, I dropped all expectations and started writing. The more I wrote, the happier I felt which makes me wonder why I didn't do this before. So, without further ado, here is everything I realized during my gratitude practice this year!

The Things I'm Most Grateful For Right Now: 

Brit + Co

"I'm grateful for quiet moments where I can hit the reset button when I need to."

Brit + Co

"I’m grateful for moments I’ve accepted accountability for my actions."

Brit + Co

"I’m grateful for having a supportive family and fiancé."

Brit + Co

"I'm grateful for forgiveness and chances to start over."

Brit + Co

"I’m grateful for the beauty and joy of reading."

Jade Rideout

  • I'm grateful for home-cooked meals.
  • I'm grateful for praying grandmothers.
  • I'm grateful for older siblings I get along with.
  • I'm grateful for reminders I'm not alone.
  • I'm grateful for the gift of writing.
  • I'm grateful for time spent in nature.
  • I'm grateful for having friends in my life who feel like family.
  • I'm grateful for my mom introducing me to therapy before my 20s.
  • I'm grateful for every day I wake up with air in my lungs.
  • I'm grateful for moments that cause me to slow down and think before acting.
  • I'm grateful for multiple seasons of growth.
  • I'm grateful for my first full-time writing job.
  • I'm grateful I work with one of the best teams ever.
  • I'm grateful for having access to food, shelter, and a transportation.
  • I'm grateful for having an active imagination.
  • I'm grateful for being able to watch my son grow.
  • I'm grateful for learning about the ins and outs of postpartum so I can help other new moms!
  • I'm grateful for having a new place to live that's cozy.
  • I'm grateful for watching the seasons change.
  • I'm grateful I get to learn what it means to have a healthy romantic relationship.
  • I'm grateful for boundaries.
  • I'm grateful for understanding my parents betters.
  • I'm grateful I'm still in tune with my inner kid.
  • I'm grateful for book clubs.
  • I'm grateful for the amazing authors I've come across.
  • I'm grateful for funny memes on social media.
  • I'm grateful for hot chocolate — yes, I'm serious.
  • I'm grateful for LIFE itself.

Ironically, some of the things I'm grateful for can serve as inspirational fall quotes — which is perfect since my birthday is days after the Autumn Equinox! Aside from that realization, I can genuinely say writing down what I'm grateful for made my birthday better than it's been in years.

I've been focusing on everything that can go right instead of comparing my life to other people and it's a welcomed change. Maybe this is just one of the perks of getting older. If so, sign me up for more birthdays like this!

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Ahhh…Paris Geller. Where does one even begin with the best Gilmore Girl whose name isn't actually Gilmore? The woman we all came to know and love. The purveyor of backhanded compliments, deadpan humor, the quickest wit one can imagine and an absolutely ungodly work ethic. The sole character of the series who I would 100% watch a spin-off of, and love every minute. Sure — she once said that everyone around her needed to be sterilized immediately. And that Rory’s boyfriend offers “nothing to women or the world in general.” And that she can “scare the stupid out of you. But the lazy runs deep.”

She may, in fact, be the only character whose absurdity warrants such unhinged comments, and I am so here for it. You may be reading this because you too believe that Paris Geller deserves way more praise than she receives. Or you hate her. Or perhaps you don’t even know who she is. Regardless, allow me to delight you with the many — shall I say — unique musings of my favorite Gilmore Girls character, and explain exactly why Paris was not only what the cult-classic show needed, but the feminist icon TV needed, too.

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So let’s start from the beginning. Paris Geller (played by Liza Weil) joined the GG crew in Season 1, right as Rory Gilmore (the show’s sort-of protagonist) walked into Chilton Academy, a private school where Paris was attending, for her first day. A far cry from Rory’s relatively timid and soft-spoken personality, Paris tore up the screen with her high-strung personality and immediate rivalry with Rory (Rory did not feel the same), who Paris viewed as the only candidate who could possibly challenge her spot at the top of the class standing. As the year progresses, the two become friends, which of course Paris still highly questioned.

The rest of their high school experience is plagued with repeated ups and downs, from Paris’s parents’ highly publicized divorce to their joint student government campaign and, most notably, Paris’s C-SPAN meltdown, courtesy of a Harvard rejection fueled by what she can only assume to be wide-spread knowledge that she lost her virginity. Despite losing the Valedictorian slot to Rory (which Paris comes to terms with after finding out Salutatorians tend to be more successful), Paris walks across the graduation stage and accepts her diploma from the school’s headmaster, to which she iconically quips, “no hard feelings.”

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rory & paris (92)

Fast forward to Paris’s first year at Yale, a school she knew Rory was attending but had no intention of ever seeing again. Not to the surprise of Paris’s life coach, the two frenemies were placed together as suitemates, a pairing that ultimately served as a catalyst for lifelong friendship. Throughout college, Paris pursues pre-med and pre-law degrees, joins the Yale Daily News alongside Rory, dates an elderly professor (he passes away, leaving Paris to grieve), moves on with the editor of the Yale Daily News, Doyle McMaster, and potentially saves Rory from abandoning Yale forever by admitting to Lorelai that Rory is the only person who ever listened to her, challenged her and motivated her.

Paris then proceeds to become the editor of the Yale Daily News, a position in which her power-hungry tendencies took full-force, resulting in a forcible resignation, kick Rory out of their shared apartment, let Rory move back into their shared apartment (now with Doyle), be accepted to a slew of prestigious medical and law schools. She ultimately chose to attend med school and break up with Doyle, to which he refused, and tells Rory that they’re on their own but she can still do great things (Of course this doesn’t last, the two are meant to be best friends.)

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Somehow this doesn't even scratch the surface of the character of Paris. As you can tell, Paris is a fiercely loyal, protective woman who fights for herself to no end. She (literally) doesn’t care what other people think (so long as they’re not within her immediate circle) and never stops pursuing her dreams, no matter how many times she probably should have. She is the epitome of feminism in modern television — perhaps taken to an extreme — and serves as a necessary counterweight to Rory’s floundering sense of self.

So long as she keeps her need for perfectionism in check, Paris has one of those few personality types whose wild ambition and outspokenness is directly beneficial to her success, a success that she, and only she, can define. Sure, she has an exaggerated sense of self-importance, but when balanced by Rory’s soft-but-straightforward approach, Paris can quickly reset, reevaluate and move forward.

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rory & paris (175)

That's the thing with Paris — she’s always moving forward. She doesn't get into Harvard? Tough. She takes a few days to wallow before considering her other options: Yale, Columbia and Princeton. She doesn’t know whether to choose med school or law school, so she takes stock of her bearings, reflects on her past dreams, and makes a clear, concise decision that she moves forward with.

Her brutally honest nature (both internally and externally) is exactly why Paris works. She’s generous when needed, comfortable with giving tough (and oftentimes tougher) love, is able to express vulnerability with the people she loves, doesn’t allow outside influences to affect her path and never let’s someone (especially a man) tell her she’s less than (*cough, cough*—Rory). For an early 2000s show, she showed women that there is power in education. There’s power in stepping away from a caretaker role. There’s power in expressing your opinion, no matter your age.

Image via WB

There’s no doubt in my mind that she’s inspired countless women over the years — after all, she’s inspired me! Even though she’s had her controversial moments, she’s always been a cheering voice for women, even if it’s behind her resting grimace. For these reasons, and so many more, I am hereby deeming Paris Geller the best of Gilmore Girls — the heroine, perhaps, and a feminist icon to all.

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Header image via Netflix, Warner Bros

This post has been updated.

Gilmore Girlstakes up more of my brain space than I'd care to admit. The show is undeniably great. I mean, there's a reason it's become an absolute cultural phenomenon! The banter is witty and memorable, the Stars Hollow, Connecticut setting is warm and friendly, and the character dynamics feel natural and comforting. All of these elements combined create the perfect comfort show thatI personally rewatch again and again. However, despite having an overall positive opinion of the show, there is one bone I have to pick with it. This grievance makes my blood boil and keeps me tossing and turning at night.

While I can't pose my all-too-important question to the creators of the show, I will ask it to you, reader: Why in the world was Lane Kim's storyline such a travesty? Considering the show is not shy about uplifting and celebrating Rory (despite her many mistakes) it feels especially unfair how short of a stick Lane (played by Keiko Agena) truly got. Here are my unfiltered thoughts on the subject.

Lane deserved better after a life of seeking independence

Photo via WBLane Kim's Treatment On "Gilmore Girls" Is The Ultimate TV Tragedy

Throughout Lane's formative teenage years, she was forced to hide her true identity and interests in order to appease her mother. From hiding CDs in her floorboards and changing her clothes when she got to school, Lane was under a lot of pressure to keep her mom happy, while still trying to figure out who she was. Her mother even kicked her out after finding out about her "secret life," causing Lane to have to move into Rory's dorm. Rory, on the other hand, had a mother who supported her every dream and who she could be fully herself with.

I'm not sure why only one of these two besties got to live out their dreams, but if it did have to play out this way, it should have been Lane Kim. Given how difficult her upbringing was, couldn't the show have given her a win by having *her* be the one who gets to follow her dreams?

Lane's love life is lackluster

Image via Saeed Adyani/Netflix

Once again, the show propped up Rory and gave her not one, not two, but three love interests. Whether or not you love all three of them, we can all admit that each boyfriend was compatible with Rory in their own way, and helped her learn and grow. Lane, however, did not get this. Her first boyfriend, Dave, is great. He's kind and sweet and understanding of her family situation, but the show breaks them up because they can't handle being long-distance. (Technically, we know actor Adam Brody had to leave for The O.C. but where is the justice??!)

After Dave, it all goes downhill from there for poor Lane. She ends up with Zack, who isn't bad but isn't great. And, as soon as Lane is finally getting to pursue her passion by going on tour with her band, she finds out she and Zack are pregnant. Considering how long Lane dreamed of getting to be her authentic herself and openly express her interests, it feels cruel that this twist of fate took it away from her at this exact moment.

Lane made the best of her situation

Image via Neil Jacobs/Netflix

Despite Rory having almost every opportunity available to her, we find out in Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life that she is making bad decisions (like, er, sleeping with an engaged man) and is struggling to find her way. Lane, on the other hand, has made the best out of the cards she's been dealt. She's still married to Zack, is taking care of her twins, and has even kept music in her life by joining a band. I can't help but think if Lane can forge ahead despite all of her unfortunate circumstances, how fantastic could her life have been if the writers had served her just a little bit more good fortune?

Lane could have served as the role model so many girls needed

Image via Saeed Adyani/Netflix

Lane's experience mirrors many Asian-American girls' lives. She had a strict upbringing and struggled to strike a balance between fitting in with her American peers and forming her own identity, while still trying to manage her mother's expectations of who she should be. As an Asian-American, Lane's experiences mirrored many of my own, and, at a time when there was such little Asian representation, this was extremely impactful.

With the lack of representation at the time, it was even more important that Lane was dealt an ending that she and her viewers could be proud of. Instead of turning her into somewhat of a cautionary tale, her story could have been utilized to empower an audience of individuals who saw themselves in her. For that reason, Lane's treatment on Gilmore Girls will never quite sit right with me.

What do you think about Lane Kim's storyline on Gilmore Girls? Let us know in the comments and check out our guide to Where Is The Gilmore Girls Cast Now? to keep up with your favorite Stars Hollow residents (even if they're not in Stars Hollow anymore).

Lead image via Warner Bros

This post has been updated.