13 Ways To Embrace All The Fall Vibes No Matter Where You Live

There's no shame in realizing you're feeling lonely, but it's also important to identify when that loneliness morphs into isolation. "Even though many might be experiencing the same feelings, that doesn't mean they are reaching out for support," Kelman says. "Many are not feeling enough strength to reach out to others or feel like they are being a burden so they reason alone with their feelings."

"It's also become more evident as our reliance on digital communication has grown, sometimes leaving us more connected online but feeling less understood and less connected in more meaningful, in-person ways," Dr. Stratyner adds. And then there's the social expectation of it all. "Many people tend to hide their loneliness because they feel shame or embarrassment about it. This can make it even harder to open up and connect with others who might be feeling the same way. The more we keep these feelings to ourselves, the more it reinforces the isolation, even though we all experience it in varying forms."

"It is hard to see light when things feel dark, and many go inward to deal with their feelings," Kelman points out. "Many are so burdened by their feelings that they might not feel capable to care for those around them or to show up and be present for others."

And just like Dr. Gilboa says, we're looking for true connection, not just surface-level friendships. But how can we make true social connection? Here's what they suggest.

1. A good friend shows care and empathy for the people around them.

If you care for the people around you, there's a very good chance others will want to be your friend. "People that show empathy toward others are very attractive qualities as it shows that one has the capacity to care for others and be present for them," Kelman says. "Those that are gregarious and selfless can be quite appealing as well. Those that are self-involved tend to repel others rather than attract."

Focusing on others instead of yourself can be easier said than done, but the it's definitely worth it. "People are drawn to those who show genuine care and understanding," Dr. Stratyner agrees.

​2. A good friend is reliable and trustworthy.

Our inner circle is going to be made up of people who know us inside and out, but it's unlikely someone will reach that level of emotional intimacy unless you really trust them. "In friendship people rate reliability, honesty and trustworthiness more highly [than romantic relationships]," Dr. Gilboa says.

​3. People are attracted to humor.

I'm sure we can all think of someone who never fails to make us laugh. And being the funny friend can mean a lot of things: you know how to poke fun at yourself or you don't take things too seriously (unless they need to be taken seriously, of course). But that doesn't mean making other people the butt of mean jokes.

"A good sense of humor helps foster a positive, lighthearted atmosphere, making interactions feel enjoyable and memorable," Stratyner says. "Plus, everyone loves to laugh."

​4. You need to be a good listener.

No one wants to be talked at and never listened to. After all, we do have two ears and one mouth! But simply nodding your head and zoning out won't cut it. "People appreciate feeling truly heard," Dr. Stratyner says. "This demonstrates respect, interest, and a willingness to connect on a deeper level."

"Be a great listener without asserting your own views or agenda," Kelman adds. "Be available, vulnerable and present. Ask those around you how they are and truly listen to how they feel. Be open and direct and most of all, be a constant. Nothing better than knowing that you will be there for all things."

So engage with what your friends are saying and, even better, remember it later!

5. A good friend is generous.

Is there a better time to talk about generosity than Thanksgiving? Be generous with your time, resources, and your heart — but don't worry, that doesn't mean you have to let someone else steam roll you. After all, a good friend also won't take advantage of you!

"Giving to others and the community are wonderful traits and habits that are very attractive to others and may draw people in," Kelman says. "People want to be around people that give and are easy-going in their interactions with individuals and the world around them."

​6. New friends are attracted to positivity.

When things feel dark, new friends will be attracted to someone who can make the world feel a little lighter. "People are often attracted to those who can find the silver lining, stay hopeful, and spread good vibes, especially in challenging situations," Dr. Stratyner says.

That's not to say you can never have bad days or process things like disappointment and grief. It just means you aren't ruled by them. (Listen, as an Enneagram 4, I'm talking to myself!)

Ok, you might be thinking, this is great but what do I do with this information? Here are some easy, actionable steps to take if you want to make new friends.

1. Understand why you're feeling lonely will help you address the real problem.

"First is to get an understanding of the loneliness and where it is coming from...finding community too soon may cause an increase in loneliness even while being surrounded by others," Kelman recommends.

You can't reach a solution if you don't know what the real problem is. I realized since I work from home, I need to do better about leaving the apartment, and my favorite way to spend an afternoon is coworking with a friend at a coffee shop.

​2. Finding new hobbies will connect you with similar people.

I met some of my best friends through a big movie group, which means when I have a meme or a piece of news to fangirl over, I know exactly who to contact. "Find activities that ignite you, find like minded individuals with whom to connect," Kelman adds. "Join a book club, pick up a new sport or hobby, but again, trying to immerse yourself too soon may not have any impact on the lonely feelings."

"The antidote to loneliness is social connection — true connection that paves the way for belonging," Dr. Gilboah says. "Talking to people to learn what interests and values are shared will open the door for the types of relationships that become community."

​3. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there.

Listen. If you only ever order takeout and watch Netflix, you'll simply never make new connections. You gotta get after it! "Look for community events, clubs, or hobby groups that align with your interests, whether book clubs, sports leagues, or volunteering opportunities," Dr. Stratyner says. "Being around people with shared passions makes it easier to start conversations and find common ground."

​4. And don't be afraid to reach out first.

For some reason, we've decided that reaching out first (or double texting) means we're needy and insufferable. This is simply not the case because who doesn't want to know they were thought of!! Plus, there's a good chance that if you're overthinking every little detail, other people are too.

"Reach out, even in small ways, to those around us who may be feeling the same," says Dr. Gilboah. "Loneliness often leads to rumination - the act of dwelling on or spiraling downward through negative thoughts. Ruminating can cause further isolation and distracts us from the people and stimuli around us."

​5. Be present when you're finally with people.

When you do make special connections, it's super important to make sure you're offering your full attention. "Showing up emotionally and physically makes them feel valued and heard, strengthening your bond," Dr. Stratyner says. She also recommends checking in to remind them you're there, and genuinely celebrating their wins (which, separately, is definitely a sign of being a girls' girl). "If a friend is going through a tough time, offer to help in any way you can," she adds. "Sometimes, simply acknowledging their struggle and offering your time can make all the difference."

"The best news about friendship is that Gen Z values authenticity above just about any other factor in friendship," Dr. Gilboah says. "Gathering the courage to be your true self and [mixing] that with empathetic listening will make you a sought after friend."

1997: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr.'s First Introduction

Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. officially met while they were working on the set of I Know What You Did Last Summer, as reported by People. That's something I never really considered back then so this news makes my heart sing! I can't even begin to tell you how much I love watching it even though it's a killer flick.

1999: Sarah Makes a Quick Appearance in She's All That

January 2000: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr.'s First Date

The funny thing about their first date is that they weren't actually planning on going on one. They were just friends at the time and a last-minute cancellation turned into something more. Sarah told People Now, " "We were friends for a very long time. We'd had many dinners before. And we were supposed to go with someone else, and the third person didn't make it out and we decided to still go," she recalled.

April 2001: Their Accidental First Date Leads to an Engagement

Fate must've known something Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. didn't because they ended up getting engaged during the spring of 2001. ABC News shared that they announced the news during Gellar's birthday party.

September 2002: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. Make It Official

April 2009 — September 2009: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. Enter Parenthood

In 2009 Sarah Michelle and Freddie Prinze Jr. not only announced they were preparing to welcome their first child, but they later did just that. Their daughter Charlotte Grace Prinze was born right before summer ended and we can only imagine how overjoyed the couple was.

April 2012: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. Announce Their Second Pregnancy

Three years after announcing they were expecting their first child, People found out the couple were ready to expand with the announcement of their second pregnancy. A source reportedly said, "They love their little girl more than anything in the world and know that love will only multiply."

September 2012: Sarah Michelle Gellar Gives Birth To a Son

September 2017: The Couple Celebrates 15 Years of Marriage

Time flies when you're having fun love each other which brings a smile to my face when thinking about Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr.

Sarah actually shared a touching video on Instagram that perfectly captured the happy couple throughout the years. Each photo in the video includes the year it was taken which really puts their relationship into perspective.

November 2019: Freddie Prinze, Jr. Opens Up About His Love For Cooking

It's long been rumored that women are the only ones who enjoy cooking, but that's not the case for Sarah Michelle Gellar. Freddie Prinze, Jr. told People in 2019 that he's the one who throws down in the kitchen. "It's never a hassle for me to cook dinner because I like it," he freely admitted.

This is so similar to my household because I know how to cook enough to survive, but I prefer to let my S.O. plan our meals. Sorry, not sorry!

October 2022: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. Are All About Their Kids Enjoying Their Youth

If you think this couple wants their children actively on social media, think again. She opened up about one of the rules she and Freddie have in place that seem worlds away from what's considered the 'norm.' "Our rules are probably stricter than most. Our kids don't have social media," she told So Mini Ways, Yahoo's Parenting series.

I know some people feel that kids should have access to things, but I'm on the fence about it now that I have a toddler. I remember what it's like having unlimited and unchecked access to the internet so I'm not sure if I'd want my kids to come across some of the things I did.

It may be controversial, but I applaud Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. for making this decision.

January 2023: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. Hit the Red Carpet for Wolf Pack

September 2023: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. Celebrate 21 Years of Married Life

I can't believe I'm typing this, but Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. celebrated 21 years of marriage last year. That means this couple has been going strong for two decades!

Sarah took to Instagram again to celebrate their love with a throwback picture from their wedding day on Instagram and my jaw is still on the floor.

If you need more proof that the couple are still very much in love, here's a more recent pic that Sarah shared on Instagram from earlier in the year. She's "Still celebrating and spoiling" Freddie years later, and I think it goes without saying that he loves it there.

Sigh the bar has been set HIGH, and I can't wait to see how they continue to grow with time.

November 2024: Freddie Prinze, Jr. Reveals The One Celebrity Experience They're "Good At Avoiding"

Despite the fact that paparazzi love to see (and often follow) celebrity couples, Freddie just revealed how he and Sarah have been able to keep things low-key. When Oldish's podcast co-host Randy Spelling asked how they stay out of the public — and how intentional they have to be to keep a low profile — Freddie said it's "by choice," and that "you can control it to a certain degree."

"I don't know how deliberate [others] are in trying to avoid that BS," he said on the podcast. "I know how easy it's been for us because I don't go anywhere. I don't go to parties. People don't see Sarah and I out and about at the popular places. We have our restaurants that we like, and they're not super trendy in places where paparazzi hang out. So we're good at avoiding it."

​We're Back On The Outer Banks!

FINALLY! After a couple of seasons in the Caribbean and South America, Outer Banks is back, well, on the Outer Banks. Honestly, this automatically makes the season better because it provides a ton of familiarity, nostalgia, and comfort for readers. And it also provides a realistic, grounded aspect to the adventure. Because let's be honest, a group of teens hopping on a tiny plane and taking part in a jungle treasure hunt requires a little too much suspension of disbelief for me. Plus, just like Gossip Girl wouldn't be the same without Blair and Serena hitting up Bergdorf's, a Pogue beach & surfing day just feels right.

​The Pogues Open Their Own Bait, Tackle, & Deep Sea Charter Business

The first episode of Outer Banks season 4 catches us up on that season 3 time jump. After learning how much money they actually have their hands on, the Pogues move into JJ's old house (renaming it "Poguelandia 2.0"), and open a bait, tackle, and charter shop. While I have a few questions about how six teens literally built a business without the help of a contractor, I love seeing this group lead regular lives. The shop plays into their strengths and allows them to cultivate their relationships in normal settings instead of life-or-death ones. Friendships are made in those boring moments, IMO.

​The Group Is Searching For More Than Blackbeard's Treasure

After Outer Banks season 3, the one thing I said I didn't want the show to do was go into supernatural, ghost territory. And for a moment, I thought that's where we were going. Wes Genrette and his son-in-law Chandler Groff hire the Pogues to find Blackbeard's treasure, but it doesn't take long for them to realize they're in over their heads (again).

Wes is a direct descendent of Francis Genrette, the man responsible for killing Blackbeard and his wife Elizabeth. Now, Elizabeth haunts every generation of the Genrette family, and once she appears, you don't have long to live. Wes reveals his daughter Larissa (Chandler's late wife) saw Elizabeth a week before she died, and Wes himself has seen her, which means his days are numbered.

At the end of part 1, the Pogues are on a mission to find Elizabeth's amulet & break the curse, which also puts them on track to find the Blue Crown. Their race against Lightner and Dalia brings Pope, Cleo, Sarah, and John B. to Charleston — and leavesPope and Sarah trapped in a crypt as it slowly floods.

Turns out, Chandler Groff was behind the ghost murders the whole time, something Shoupe should have clocked a long time ago.

​John B., JJ, And Their Friends Have A Beach Day Run-In With The Kooks

Because so much of Outer Banks season 4 takes place on the OBX, it means John B., Sarah, JJ, Kie, Pope, and Cleo are once again clashing with Topper, Rafe, and the rest of the Kooks. Despite the fact this season features plenty of death-defying stunts, the scene that will stick with me the most is when the Pogues and Kooks wind up at the same beach access.

I audibly gasped when Ruthie, Topper's new girlfriend, plays chicken with the Pogues on the beach, almost hitting Kiara with her Jeep and running over a turtle hatch in the process. (IRL, protecting endangered sea turtles & their hatches are a big deal on the Outer Banks, so this definitely got a visceral reaction from me).

At the end of the day, the major (and arguably, the most painful) conflict of this teen drama is how the Kooks make the Pogues feel like they don't belong anywhere. And if you ask me, exploring this tension and these relationships is where the show truly shines.

Lightener Is Determined To Take Out The Pogues

That being said, I found the villains this season, Lightner and Dalia, to be way scarier than I expected — especially once Lightner killed Terrance and almost killed Cleo. Every time he showed up onscreen, my heart started pounding like he was chasing me! The thought of being stuck in my bait shop alone with a creepy guy, especially one brandishing a knife? Thank you, next.

​Luke Returned To The Outer Banks

After JJ & Kiara said goodbye to JJ's dad Luke in Outer Banks season 2, he's been totally off the grid. Except, apparently, he hasn't? JJ learns Luke is back when he visits Barracuda Mike, but the father-son bonding quickly takes a turn for the crazy when Luke drops a piece of news that changes everything: he isn't JJ's biological father. Chandler Groff is.

JJ Has Actually Been A Kook This Whole Time

JJ's entire character is based around the fact he's proud to be a Pogue. He hates the Kooks and everything they stand for, which is why when Luke reveals he isn't JJ's biological father, and that JJ is related to the Groff/Genrette clan, it totally sends JJ into orbit.

JJ Destroys Downtown

And by "sends JJ into orbit," I mean he literally destroys downtown Kildare...with a baseball bat (okay Steve Harrington!).

This Kook identity is something JJ's been running from the entire series — even before Kie had to reassure him that finding the gold didn't make them Kooks — and he's going to have to do some serious soul searching to figure out who he actually is now.

I was wholly sold on the theory Outer Banks 4 would reveal JJ and Sarah were siblings, but this is a pretty good alternative. And who knows? Maybe they're actually cousins.

​Powers At Be Want To Bulldoze The Cut

If this show has proven anything, it's that the OBX is far from paradise. This season, some big names are trying to turn The Cut — including Poguelandia 2.0 — into an extension of the wealthier Figure Eight. Things get even more complicated when Hollis, who worked with Ward before he died, wants to trick Rafe into being her financial partner...and then gets his girlfriend Sofia to convince him to sign her contract.

Rafe Proposes To Sofia...And Then Breaks Up With Her

It doesn't take long for Rafe to learn Hollis tricked him. And despite proclaiming his love for Sofia, proposing, and telling her nothing could get in the way of their relationship, Rafe breaks up with her and kicks her out of his home the second he finds out she conned him. Messy, messy.

The one silver lining is that it sends Rafe back to Sarah and her friends! Is he finally turning into the kind and protective older brother fans want him to be?

Sarah Learns She's Pregnant

After she starts feeling sick, Sarah takes a pregnancy test that comes back positive...and Kiara immediately finds out. Despite the fact adding a baby to the Outer Banks dynamic is a wild concept, this is exactly the kind of domestic, sweet ending I would have hoped for Sarah and John B. And Kiara's statement that Sarah's going to be an amazing mom? I couldn't agree more.

The Pogues Head To Morocco

Remember how excited I was for the Pogues to return to the Outer Banks? Well, that doesn't last long because in the final episode of Outer Banks season 4, the group heads to Morocco to find the Blue Crown. It's definitely not smooth sailing, but I really love seeing John B. and Sarah, Pope and Cleo, and JJ and Kiara work in their pairs.

​Rafe Begins His Redemption Arc

Drew Starkey admitted after season 1 that he didn't care whether Rafe got a redemption arc, and I agreed at the time. I found the idea of Rafe, who was so driven to please his father he'd literally murder for him, incredibly compelling. Plus, he's been the ringleader of the War on Pogues this whole time, so suddenly making him sympathetic towards them felt like backtracking on his character.

Rafe still has his moments (like saying he'd never date a Pogue after finding out Sofia was from The Cut), but now that him and Sarah are finally moving towards reconciling, it seems like we could actually be getting a Rafe redemption after all. But that doesn't mean I want Kiara and Rafe to get together. Let's keep things platonic people!!

JJ Dies In Kiara's Arms

If you're a fan of OBX, or you've been on the internet at all over the last week, then you already know where this is going. After the group splits up, it's total chaos. Pope ends up killing Lightener after Cleo's wounded, while JJ finds the Blue Crown.

When Chandler Groff threatens Kiara, JJ gives up the treasure in exchange for Kie — and Chandler kills him for no reason anyway. Fans went wild over the season 4 ending, and more than one told me they were heartbroken. Outer Banks will never be the same, that's for sure.

"Revenge"

After they bury JJ's body, the group gathers around a campfire and acknowledges that if any of them had died, JJ wouldn't rest until they were avenged. Kiara stands up, looks into the fire, and mutters "revenge" before the screen cuts to black.

Season 5 is going to be one wild ride, because based on Kiara's pure, white hot anger, and Rafe's love of all things vengeful, I can only imagine what kind of havoc this group is going to wreak on Chandler Groff.