Family-Centric Job Benefits Can Make Motherhood a Career Asset

Apr 05, 2019

I remember the day I decided not to go back to work. I was in the bathtub with my eight-week-old son, who was still nursing around the clock. Barely adjusted to the new emotional and physical demands of motherhood, I couldn’t dream up a world where I had the energy to drop my baby at day care, work all day, then stay up most of the night taking care of him. So I weighed the costs: Double my commute time, cut my salary in half, and risk my mental health, or sacrifice my career to stay home? In the end, I chose the latter.

If I’d stayed at my job, I would have been luckier than many. My employer offered three months of paid leave, plus a flexible schedule and a place to pump breast milk when I came back — perks very few American women enjoy. The US is currently the only developed country where full-time employees aren’t federally guaranteed paid maternity leave; as a result, only 15 percent of American workers are entitled to paid family leave by their employers. Many women even consider leaving the workforce altogether because their jobs don’t pay enough to justify the cost of childcare, not to mention the emotional and physical cost of separating from your baby before you’re ready (which one survey found is usually around six months).

Family-centric benefits like parental leave, subsidized childcare, and even a flexible working environment where moms can pump or take sick days are indeed costly for employers — but there’s evidence that the benefits of supporting parents in the workplace vastly outweigh the cost, for businesses and parents alike.

For starters, research shows that paid parental leave improves worker retention, increases employee productivity, and boosts employee loyalty and morale. Providing a place to breastfeed means women might miss less work, since their babies tend to be healthier. And there’s evidence that subsidizing childcare boosts retention and positively affects companies’ bottom lines.

While the economic perks of providing maternal benefits are clear, so is the cost of not doing so: For every 100 pregnancies, a company without maternal benefits could lose more than $9 million annually. Laura Handrick, Careers and Workplace Analyst at Fit Small Business, says failure to invest in maternal care can significantly contribute to employee turnover, which can get very expensive for businesses. Replacing a mom who doesn’t return after her maternity leave can cost as much as 200 percent of her salary.

“Hiring someone new is always more costly than investing in your current employees,” she tells us. “Not only do you lose all the employee’s invested knowledge, but you also have to hire someone else and retrain them, and it could take three to six months to get that person up to speed, which means compromised productivity.”

Further, missing the mark on supporting parents can also be damaging to a business’ image, affecting the quality of future hires and compromising sales.

“A brand reputation depends not only on how you treat your customers, but how you treat your employees,” Handrick says. “If a company is trying to build a brand with a client and has poor reviews or a bad reputation, that will damage your employment brand, plus make it harder to hire good employees in the future.

On the flipside, providing meaningful maternal care can attract employees, says Amy Henderson, founder of Tendlab, a consulting firm dedicated to helping companies create work environments that empower parents.

“There’s research showing that millennials will choose positions with a lower salary if they have family-friendly workplaces, even if they aren’t planning on having kids,” she says. “If the workplace is seen to support parents, all employees are more likely to stay and choose that company over another company that doesn’t.”

To mitigate financial loss and improve maternal health outcomes, Dr. Alexandra Sacks, MD, a reproductive psychiatrist and co-author of What No One Tells You: A Guide to Your Emotions from Pregnancy to Motherhood, recommends that employers consider providing extended, paid maternal leave. Often, the earlier a woman returns to work, the greater the risk for her mental health — and the business.

“It actually puts more stress on the workplace when we demand workers go back so soon after giving birth,” Sacks tells Brit + Co. “The earlier we require workers to return to work, the more their lives and bodies are in flux. So if moms had a little bit more time to adjust to new parenthood, they might need fewer accommodations by the time they have to go back to work.”

While women certainly deserve time to adjust into motherhood, Henderson has found that the character traits women develop while simultaneously working and parenting — namely the ability to develop broader, deeper relationships — can positively transform women’s careers, and their workplaces as a whole. “Possibly in part because of how hard it is, motherhood can make us better in a host of ways, developing capacities in us that enable us to do better in our careers.”

But a woman’s contributions to her place of employment are limited to the level of support she receives at work, Henderson’s research shows.

“Motherhood can have a very positive impact on our careers, but this is only the case if a mom is supported or perceives she is being supported,” Henderson says. In the absence of this support, whether at home or in the workplace, Henderson says these positive capacities actually degrade, and a woman is unlikely to thrive in the workplace — which costs everyone.

(Photo via Getty Images)

Um, Sofia Richie Gave Her 5-Month-Old Daughter A Phone — And The Texts Are Hilarious

Sofia Richie really is that girl. Her wedding reigns supreme all over Pinterest, her fashion sense is iconic, and her classy attitude is one people can't help but admire. Now, the It Girl is taking on a new adventure, and we couldn't be more excited for her — she's a first-time mom! She and her husband, Elliot Grainge, confirmed the news to Vogue on January 25, and here's everything you need to know (including little one's gender!).

Sofia Richie Grainge's Daughter Is Already Building Her Communication Skills

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Sofia stopped by the Therapuss podcast to chat with host Jake Shane about motherhood and talked about little Eloise's latest development. According to PEOPLE,, Shane revealed, "Eloise has a little baby phone, that we get to text, or I like to text." Though she can't respond just yet, Sofia told listeners that "whoever is with Eloise gets the phone."

Shane then joked about a mini 'heated' exchange he and Eloise had via text. "I said, ‘Eloise do you mind if me and your mommy talk about how perfect you are on the podcast today?’ And she said, ‘No, keep my name out of your mouth.’ And I said, ‘Eloise, excuse me.’ She said, ‘I hate you.'"

Jokes aside, Sofia is embracing being a mother. She told Shane that her "life makes sense now" because she's "never loved anything more." Also, she doesn't mind admitting she's "obsessed with her" and thinks Eloise is "perfect."

How sweet is this?!

Sofia Richie Grainge Shared A Sneak Peek Of Her Daughter

@sofiagrainge/Instagram

Sofia Richie Grainge is soaking up mommy life! She shared the sweetest pics of her family on Instagram and let the world know she wouldn't trade life with them for anything.

She's also keeping true to her word by not fully sharing baby Eloise's face, not that people seem to mind! Lily Collins commented, "😍😍😍😍🥹🥹🥹🥹" while other fans commented on how cute and perfect baby girl is.

All I can is that everyone loves an It Girl turned mom who's fully embracing the family life!

Sofia Richie Grainge Officially Announces Her Daughter's Birth

@sofiagrainge/Instagram

On Friday May 24, 2024, Sofia Richie Grainge announced the birth of her daughter on Instagram. She posted a photo of a tiny little foot, captioned, "Eloise Samantha Grainge 🤍5•20•24 best day of my life🤍"

Obviously family, friends, and fans alike are ecstatic about the news! Sofia's sister Nicole Richie commented, "I now have a new favorite EG. sorry Elliot 🐧💕" Other celeb love came from Lily Collins, Emily Ratajkowski, Ashley Tisdale, Katy Perry, and soooo many more!

We're so happy for this new mom, and we're absolutely wishing she, Elliot, and Eloise the best!

How did Sofia Richie and Elliot Grainge find out they were expecting a baby?

Cindy Ord/Getty Images for David Yurman

Sofia Richie told Vogue that she found out the exciting news very early on, at just four weeks. She was on a trip to Milan for Fashion Week for the Prada show (you know, just It Girl things) and felt sick throughout. Though she initially brushed it off as jet lag, she came back and took a test, given that she and her husband had been casually trying since April of 2023.

When that faint line came up, she sent Elliot to CVS and pick up more tests. When they all came positive, the excitement ensued! They decided to only share their news with their parents when they hit the eight-week mark. Sofia was very intentional about her decision to keep things private for a while, as pregnancy can be scary and she wanted to protect her space and mental health.

What is the gender of Sofia Richie Grainge's baby?

Cindy Ord/Getty Images for David Yurman

This "It"-girl is having... a baby "It"-girl! That's right, Sofia Richie is expected a sweet baby girl. She told Vogue that she had her assistant buy party poppers that revealed the gender to her and Elliot. While both soon-to-be parents expected a boy, Richie's dream was to have a daughter. She says that Elliot is excited to be a girl-dad, especially because he grew up with lots of sisters.

Sofia also said that she's already curated quite a wardrobe for her daughter. She explained that since the moment she found out that she was pregnant, she's gone crazy with the online shopping. The vibe is "cute and girly," and she's been collecting pieces for years that she's excited to pass down to her baby one day!

As for the nursery, Sofia says she's all about pastel pinks — her vision is to bring a little girl's fantasy to life!

What kind of mother did Sofia Richie Grainge say she hopes to be?

Cindy Ord/Getty Images for David Yurman

The girl on all our vision boards has her own vision of how she's approaching motherhood. She explained to Vogue that she wants to be a role model for her daughter and raise her to be a smart and kind person. Manners are kindness are things that she really values and things that she says were instilled in her at a young age.

She wants to be her daughter's best friend in a way, and ultimately help guide her through life. TBH, it's giving Lorelai and Rory, and I'm all here for it! Richie recognizes the importance of balance in parenthood, hoping to strike the right blend of being protective without going overboard. She also wants to refrain from publicizing her child and wants her to have the option to be a private person.

How did Lionel and Nicole Richie react to Sofia Richie's pregnancy?

@lionelrichie/Instagram

The famous singer and Sofia's father, Lionel Richie is clearly excited and seems ready to be a grandfather to another baby! He reposted one of Sofia's Vogue pictures with the caption, "My little girl is having a baby!" Nicole Richie also re-posted one of the photos from the shoot with a heart and crying face emoji. I think it's safe to say this baby is being born into a family rich with love!

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This post has been updated.

5 Money Mistakes That Can Destroy Your Friendships, According To Experts

Loud budgeting may be popular on TikTok, but conversations about money can still be awkward. I've been in romantic relationship for a little over a decade and we're just at a point where we've become aligned on finances. So imagine having random conversations with your family or friends that begin with, "I know I've never really asked before, but is it okay if I can borrow [insert x amount of $] until I can pay you back?" The nature of your platonic and familial relationships will totally determine whether you receive positive or negative responses.

As helpful as money can be, it can fracture even the closest relationships. Why? Well, psychologist Veronica West of My Thriving Mind, head of advice for Wells Fargo Emily Irwin; and Founder of Her First $100K money expert Tori Dunlap have a few ideas!

Keep reading for a few sneaky ways money can ruin your friendships:

1. Talking About Money Can Expose Hidden Feelings

Brit + Co

It's impossible to know how someone feels every second of the day, but we probably all think we have a good understanding of the people we're close to. But people are capable of hiding how they feel about something or burying their discomfort until certain situations 'expose' them. Why does it seem like money has a way of doing this?

Both Irwin and Dunlap agree that "money is taboo," leading people to avoid conversations about it. "Data tells us that we are more likely to talk about any other taboo topic—sex, politics, religion, even death—before we’ll talk about money," says Dunlap. West agrees and says, "Money is like that one friend who’s incredibly helpful but totally untrustworthy—everyone likes what they bring to the table, but no one wants to talk about them directly." Did you think of someone specific? It's okay because I did too!

The problem is that money can make "hidden insecurities come out, old sibling rivalries rear their heads," and more, according to West. "Even something like 'who paid for what' can suddenly become a life-or death conversation," she says. It's strange because Irwin says a Wells Fargo study shows that "many Americans across all ages are worried about money," proving we're all thinking about it, despite our avoidance issues.

2. And Money Can Also Create Unease In Conversations

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"When we don’t have open conversations about money, we’re left to navigate it on our own, which can keep us feeling underpaid, overworked, or unsure about our financial situation," Dunlap points out. She feels "discussing money requires a huge amount of vulnerability" which "isn't easy for everyone." You may have seen how other topics are swept under the rug by family members or friends based on reasons they're not ready to talk about.

Though Irwin believes saying something like saying, "'Here's what's keeping me up at night' or 'here's what my goals are' could strengthen connections," Dunlap knows that "shame, comparison, or fear of judgement" can cause people to remain tight-lipped about their finances.

If you've experienced a weird moment because of money or had to be the unfortunate witness of an awkward conversation, my apologies. It's not fun no matter who's involved because, unfortunately, "money carries layers of emotions, like pride and insecurity, that turn simple conversations into potential minefields," says West.

Dunlap says there's a silver lining if people are willing to be open, however. "The key is respecting each person’s comfort level, and encouraging openness if they're willing to meet you there. It’s not going to be perfect at first, but by starting to share more about your own financial experiences, you can start to break the cycle of shame and fear around money. You might be surprised at how quickly others are willing to open up too."

3. Making Assumptions About Other’s Money Status And Financial Situation Can Lead To Disrespecting Boundaries

Brit + Co

No one's saying you should never lend friends money, but being mindful about the decision is worth noting. West feels "it's complicated" while Dunlap believes the issue "can be tricky." There's a chance a low-key loan becomes an expectation that you should dish out money every time someone needs help, even if you're trying to maintain your own bills. "Lending money to a friend is like sharing your Netflix password—simple in theory, but one wrong move, and things get weird," West forewarns.

Dunlap also says, "When you lend money to someone close to you, there's always the chance that you won’t get it back. You want to be mentally prepared for that! Otherwise, it can strain your finances and your relationship. The emotional toll can be just as heavy, as unpaid loans can lead to resentment or awkwardness." It's not unusual to hear about certain friends being unreliable in more ways than one after you've let them borrow something. Unfortunately, Irwin indicates this happens because some people "don't expect to give something back that they've borrowed."

Because of this, Dunlap thinks "it's best to avoid loans if possible." Should you decide to move forward with helping out a friend who's in a bind, make sure you're both in agreement about repayment and what to expect moving forward. West says "having clear terms" or "gifting a small amount if you can afford it" is like "buying their friendship insurance." The latter is something Dunlap agrees with because it "helps prevent resentment if they can't pay you back as planned." Plus, she feels it also "keeps the loan within an amount you're okay with potentially losing."

4. Lending Money Is A Slippery Slope That Can Lead To Distrust And Resentment

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It's amazing how money can lead to a friendship breakup if boundaries aren't created or respected. "Money is a sneaky little devil who can push everyone’s buttons. It can cause resentment if one person feels taken advantage of or someone’s 'casual loan' becomes an epic saga of unpaid IOUs," West says. Not only that, but Dunlap knows "money can strain relationships between friends and family by highlighting differences in how we value it, expect to use it, or feel about sharing it."

Friends and family members shouldn't take each other's kindness for granted, but human nature is fickle at times. That's not an indicator that someone you love is a "bad" person, but they may feel like you owe them your time and money. However, Irwin says this isn't "de facto that that person is entitled." Still, Dunlap is more than aware how this can play out. "For example, it can lead to resentment if one person is always the one picking up the tab, while another might feel uncomfortable or indebted because they’ve been helped financially," she says.

On the other hand, it can show up a little differently in families. She adds, "Issues like unequal inheritance or constant requests for financial help can lead to deep emotional tension. Money can also become a tool for power imbalances, where one person feels in control and the other feels dependent, and that can mess with trust and respect."

Brit + Co

When certain negative patterns show up in relationships, it can make people decide to take a step back from being available. "And once distrust settles in, it’s hard to shake; nobody wants to be 'that friend' who’s forever dodging a Venmo request or getting side-eye from relatives at every family BBQ," West points out. How many times have you built up a wall with the people you love because of repeated unreliability or the expectation that you're supposed to help them whenever they ask? If you didn't hesitate to think of a moment, you're living proof that distrust can affect even the closest relationships.

Dunlap says, "When money becomes a main factor in a relationship, it can overshadow the connection, making it difficult to maintain genuine trust and understanding. You can avoid this by having open conversations with friends and family about your financial situation. Clear communication can help keep the focus on the relationship, not the money."

5. You Can Worry You're Not A Good Friend Or Family Member For Setting Money Boundaries

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Worrying about how other people feel can keep us from setting boundaries. There's a difference between being an empath and a people pleaser, but it's easy to blur the lines. You can absolutely empathize with someone's hardship while knowing you're not in the position to lend the amount they may be looking for. I'm a huge fan of saying that two things can be true at once — because they can.

Irwin says you need to "address the conversation head on" if a friend does ask you for a loan. Your response may depend on if their ask was "emotionally-charged or "in an uncomfortable environment," but Irwin doesn't recommend ignoring it. If you're not in the space to respond, here's what she suggests saying in a "timely" fashion:

"Hey, I need time to think about this. Let me get back to you."
"We can help you, but here are our boundaries."
"We see and understand you, but we're unable to help because we're trying to pay off debt or save for _______."

Yes, Financial Boundaries Are Essential

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Don't think you need to create financial boundaries for yourself and your friends? Think again. West says, "Establishing some ground rules is a lifesaver—think of it adding airbags to the friendship. Setting boundaries early on, like when you’re still in the happy, non-monetary part of the relationship, can protect both sides if things get sticky."

Here's how she advises you proceed with creating boundaries:

Keep it light and be honest; you’re not making a prenuptial agreement here, just letting them know you’d like to avoid “financial fireworks” later.
Say, “I’m your friend, not your ATM.” It’s funny but helps set the tone that your wallet isn’t a free-for-all.
Set a gift cap, such as, "I'm happy to chip in for brunch or a birthday, but let’s not get into home-loan territory.”
If you do lend, draw up a repayment plan. Think of it as adulting with a side of accountability to avoid “accidentally” becoming their financial fairy godmother.
Limit talk of big financial choices unless you’re genuinely invested together. After all, nobody needs to know how much their friend spends on avocado toast or scented candles, let alone home renos.
A little humor and some boundaries go a long way. You’ll save yourself a lot of awkwardness and keep the friendships intact, one “non-loaned” dollar at a time!

Alexander Grey/Unsplash

Tori says, "It's so important to have transparent conversations about money, set clear boundaries, and ensure that relationships are prioritized in any money exchange." Here are a few things you can try:

Communicate about your budget with a “gratitude sandwich.” Say you’re invited to an outing—a dinner, or a sports game—that isn’t within your budget right now. You can respond with the “gratitude sandwich.” The “pieces of bread” are positive, and the “meat” is the money thing you’re scared to say. Thank that person for the invite, let them know it’s not within budget right now, and then offer a cheaper alternative, reassuring them that you’d really love to see them. Offering an alternative reminds that person that declining their invitation isn’t about them, and you still care about them. In doing so, you prioritize your budget AND your relationship in the process.When in doubt, remember that no is a complete sentence. You don’t need to overcomplicate things, and sometimes a simple “no” is all you need.
Set expectations early. When planning trips with friends, discuss the budget and how costs will be split upfront. Having these conversations ensures that everyone is on the same page and helps avoid any misunderstandings. It creates a supportive, stress-free environment where everyone can enjoy the experience together without any added worries!

The Final Verdict:

Emil Kalibradov/Unsplash

Once you've weighed your options and considered what you need, you can decide to loan your friend money. However, Irwin wants you to consider being formal about it. "You can absolutely draft a promissory note or loan agreement so that your friend knows how serious you are about your boundaries. If you want, you can also put an interest rate on it," she says.

It's not to hurt your friend's feelings, but it is a boundary you can put in place so they think to themselves, "This is truly a loan because I'm borrowing money with the intent to pay it back," Irwin says. It could change the dynamics of your friendship, but it's more about being "purposeful about the language being used" so you and your friend can both move in the "right direction," according to Irwin.

If the idea of creating a 'loan agreement' sounds icky to you, Dunlap wants you to seriously consider it as "an extra bit of protection." She says all you need to do, again, is "try setting up a simple contract to outline repayment terms" because it "can help both of you stay on the same page and avoid misunderstandings down the road."

Her ultimate piece of advice? "Only lend what you're comfortable giving and potentially losing, and keep open communication to maintain trust and respect in the relationship."

If you set clear financial boundaries and still find that your platonic relationships are weird, we have tips to help you navigate a potential friendship breakup.

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What Is The 4B Movement? Inside 2024's Biggest Anti-Relationship Trend

Social media is full of trends that come and go — think loud budgeting or sleepmaxxing — but I have a feeling one may grow legs beyond TikTok or Instagram: the 4B Movement. TBH, it doesn't feel right to call it a 'trend' because its origins are rooted in something much deeper than saying or doing something controversial for likes.

If you're not familiar with this movement and are curious about it, we're going to take a deep dive into where it originated, it's purpose, and why women in the U.S. have started to abide by its principles. To understand the 4B Movement's sustainability and potential benefits, I spoke with Somatic Trauma Therapist and Founder of Freshwater Counseling & Consulting, Blessing Uchendu; Sex and Relationships Coach Leah Carey, host of the Good Girls Talk About Sex podcast; and Senior Statistician and Addictions Researcher at UCLA Nicole Prause

Here's what they had to say!

Scroll To Learn What The 4B Movement Is, How It Started, & What It Means For Women In America

The 4B Movement is all about abstaining from relationships with men, from dating to sex.
This movement started in South Korea after an atrocious act of gender-based violence.
Since the 2024 election, American women are exploring the idea of abstaining from relationships with men as well.
Ultimately, the 4B movement could lead to de-centering men from women's lives, eliminating some fears surrounding reproductive health and ultimately improving their mental health overall.

What is the 4B Movement?

According to The Washington Post, this is a "radical Korean feminist movement that swears off men to reclaim a sense of agency." It sounds similar to abstinence, but the trickle down effects are vastly different. Abstinence is taking a step back from anything that usually taps into your pleasure center — and that doesn't always mean sex. However, the 4B Movement is specifically rooted in 'de-centering men' completely.

CBSstates that researchers Jieun Lee and Euisol Jeong wrote a paper for Yonsei University about the movement, and deciphered that the "B" has four meanings:

biyeonae — "refusal of dating men"
bisekseu — "sexual relationships with men"
bihon — "heterosexual marriage"
bichulsan — "childbirth"

How did the 4B movement start?

In 2016, Hankyoreh reported that a man in his 30's chose to stab an unknown young woman in Seoul, Korea. When asked why he committed the crime, he gave this answer: "I did it because women have always ignored me." In response to the random attack, Hong Seong-su, a law professor at Sookmyung Women’s University, share a chilling message that the outlet recounted in the article. "The fact that [Kim] chose ‘some woman’ [as opposed to ‘some person’] as the target for his crime suggests it is not going too far to view this as a crime of hate against women."

This radical moment was an inception point for the movement overall, started in opposition to this gender-based violence, as well as gender-based discrimination as a whole. The Korean Herald noted that factors like pay inequality and a Donald Trump-like president of their own (Yoon Suk-yeol) were driving forces in 4B. Since his election in 2022, Yoon Suk-yeol has "promised to abolish the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family, which has been popular with his anti-feminist base," (via Korean Herald). Between all this and the global sensation of #MeToo, the 4B Movement gained major momentum throughout the last eight years.

The 4B Movement's Lasting Impact In South Korea

According to The Korean Herald, over 150 elementary schools aren't seeing first-graders walk through their doors and it has everything to do with the falling birth rate in South Korea. CNN reports that officials are so concerned, they're willing to do something to combat it. President Yoon Suk Yeol said, "We will mobilize all of the nation’s capabilities to overcome the low birth rate, which can be considered a national emergency."

But, this isn't the first time the birth rate has been addressed. Another CNN article reported that South Korea dished out $200 billion to "boost the population over the past 16 years." Still, things haven't worked in the government's favor. It's evident less women are having children and it seems to directly stem from women upholding the ideology they're not allowing their bodies to be used for motherhood anymore.

American Women's Response To The 4B Movement

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After the shocking results of the 2024 presidential election, many women began to rethink how they relate to the men in their lives, finding South Korea's 4B Movement in the process. Based on the current rhetoric about women who don't have children and the restrictive anti-abortion laws with hardly any policies in place to reduce the maternal mortality rate, it's understandable why some women are fearful or fed up — and why many women are now finding parallels to what sparked 4B in the first place.

When you see people like Nicholas J. Fuentes tweeting things like "Your body, my choice. Forever," on the same day Trump won a second term as president, it can leave a sickening taste in one's mouth. One user's response to this was, "Funny how the loudest champions of 'freedom' are often the first to undermine it for everyone else."

Alongside this are men's social movements that are clearly intertwined with the current political climate, too. While obviously not all men believe in these ideologies, there's been a stark rise in their prevalence.

Mizuno K

In 2020, ADL reported about the mindset of "Incels" and discovered that they feel emboldened by the 'manosphere.' So, what do they tend to believe? According to outlet, there's a belief "that the current sexual 'marketplace' gives women too much freedom to choose their own partners." Not only that, but the outlet says Incels tend to think women choose to ignore men unless they look a certain way or have a certain status, "leaving the remaining 80 percent of men (including incels) without a potential partner."

Nicole Prause, a UCLA Statistician and Academic, is well-versed in abstinence movements, and what they ultimately indicate based on statistics. "There are a number of similar men's movements already, especially Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)," she says. According to her, MGTOW don't pursue marriage or relationships with women, but "seek sex when it is on their 'terms.'" She says, "They're often viewing it as a battle pitting sexes against one another. These movements tend to be separatist, often evolving into misogyny and violent speech, such as glorifying sexual coercion and rape."

www.tiktok.com

started in south korea. now in america? yas. #4b #4bmovement #jesusisking

As a result of these growing men's movements and the incoming 47th President of the United States — a convicted felon with multiple allegations of sexual assault — there have been growing calls from women on social media to consider the 4B Movement for themselves. X user @jungsooyawning wrote, "american women it's time to learn from the koreans and adopt the 4b movement as a matter of fact women from all over the world should adopt the 4b movement i'm so serious," on the platform.

Freelance writer Daria Yasmiene also wrote about about why she's taking part in the movement for POPSUGAR. She said, "As a Black woman who has lived through three back-to-back elections with Trump as a focal point, I'm so far beyond tired that I need a lifestyle change." Ultimately, she wants to continue having the freedom to choose to live her life in a way that's not solely governed by men.

"With the little autonomy that I have left, I would rather be alone and safe from the consequences of male influence in my life than lie next to someone who doesn't see me as an equal. We deserve so much more than that."

Meanwhile, Sex and Relationships Coach, Leah Carey says that 4B "makes sense as a response to realizing that a majority of men valued the economy over a woman's right to self-determination." Depending on where you stand, she also says that it can be "seen as 'punishment' for men" or "as a choice of self-determination and self-protection for women." Somatic Trauma Therapist, Blessing Uchendu shares Carey's sentiments in that the movement is "a response to patriarchy and the centering of men and conversely the objectification of women, with the expectation that they fulfill roles as wives and mothers."

Potential Benefits Of The 4B Movement

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So with all that in mind, is a movement like 4B beneficial? And is it even sustainable? I'm not going to tell you that you should or shouldn't join the 4B Movement because it's a personal decision. It's always wise to examine where you are in life instead of relying on social media, news outlets, or even the government to determine what you're going to believe. Still, there may be some benefits to the 4B Movement that outweigh any potential fallouts.

Carey says that "not being refused care for reproductive matters" is a potential benefit of 4B, while also highlighting that "the mental health benefits can also be huge for people who deal with anxiety, depression, or anything else that might cause emotional hardship in the current climate."

This could also lead to women identifying and honoring their true desires instead of following society's scripts about who they should be. Somatic Trauma Therapist, Blessing Uchendu believes that 4B is about women de-centering men and re-centering themselves — about "being the 'stars of their own stories,' rather than supporting characters in a malde-dominated narrative." Uchendu says. "It can be incredibly empowering to step away from systems that have felt compulsory in order to reflect on whether you are making decisions centered on yourself and your desires or whether these decisions are centered on the expectations of the society around you."

The most important thing Carey wants to note is that women aren't unable to find love and joy ever again by participating in the 4B movement. "Just because a woman chooses not to date, have sex, get married, or have kids with a man doesn't mean she can't do those things: with other women. it's more and more common for adult women to explore their same-sex attractions after divorce or widowhood," she notes. "With a generation of young women growing up with the understanding that heterosexuality is not the only option, we may see a wave of younger women also exploring in this arena (in addition to all the younger women who already know themselves to be queer)."

I would also say that you can always go back to dating and engaging with men whenever you want — this movement doesn't have to be a permanent choice if you don't want it to be. The whole point is to take charge and embrace your own sense of agency.

Yet, Prause does pause to mention the downside to "separatist movements." She explains that without support from men, women could struggle financially given pay disparities and other gender-based work inequities. Still, she says this doesn't really affect much if women have been figuring things out for themselves with little help from men.

Ultimately Uchendu says women having the freedom to exist without the weight of society's patriarchal standards on their shoulders is the "ultimate freedom." She says, "In the words of Audre Lorde 'If I did not define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and be eaten alive."

Andrea Piacquadio

No woman should have to live in fear of having violence committed against her, but history continues repeating itself in terms of how society treats our bodies. "When a woman's right to make choices about her own body and health care are removed, she may decide to not put herself in a position where pregnancy can become an option," Carey says.

Prause chimes in with, "On average, women are more likely to experience mental health declines with marriage to a man (the opposite is true for men). While men also can experience domestic violence and sexual assault, the risks are exceptionally higher for women." Not only that, but she also points out that "women risk unwanted pregnancy, from which they now have fewer healthcare rights to address" and "are at much higher risk for sexually transmitted infections, even from their regular romantic partner."

As if that weren't a slap in the fact, Prause mentions that "childcare continues to fall disproportionately on women and does cause less income for women over time."

So, at the end of the day, I can't tell you what the right choice is, but I do know that patriarchy's long-lasting fixture in society has harmed everyone. From men who think women owe them something to women who believe they're not worth anything unless they're married or mothers, there's a lot to unpack.

What I do know is that no one should have the right to control the personal lives of other people nor should they try to make their personal beliefs and religious ideologies into laws that govern people who will be around long after they're not.

No matter where you stand on the matter, hatred and violence should never be tolerated or praised. Remember to take care of yourself by diving into more self-care stories we have on-site.

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25 Anthropologie Gifts That Are Perfect For The Cool Girl In Your Life

If you’re one of those people that prides themselves on delivering the perfect present and finds joy in seeing the giftee's face light up, Anthropologie is going to be your BFF for finding gifts this holiday season! From home decor to apparel and everything in between, Anthropologie delivers unique and eclectic finds that are fun and fashion-forward. It can be challenging sifting through the endless online racks of their treasures, though, so I’ve broken down the best gifts from Anthropologie so all you have to do is press *add to cart*!

Our 25 favorite Anthropologie gifts for 2024 gifting:

Let's jump into the best gifts from Anthropologie for the season! These are perfect for teen girls, Gen-Z-ers, fashion lovers, and those who can't help but hop on the latest trends.

Anthropologie

For the one that plans like it's a full-time job: 2025 17-Month Monogram Planner

Is there ever a better gift than something that'll help them keep their life in order? 2025, we're coming for you.

Anthropologie

For the cozy-chic gal: UGG Classic Mini Boots

These mini UGG boots are so on-trend right now, any cool fashion gal will adore them as a gift.

Anthropologie

Bring street style to their closet: The Oversized Brigitte Satchel by Melie Bianco

This bag fits everything your giftee could possibly need in the day-to-day – and then some.

Anthropologie

For the skincare-obsessed: NuFACE Mini+ Gift Set

This slightly-bougie skincare device tones and lifts your face while targeting signs of aging, like fine lines and wrinkles. It'll be such a luxe upgrade to your giftee's current routine!

Anthropologie

For the girl on the go: New Balance 530 Sneakers

These fashion-forward sneakers work well across a variety of outfits and occasions, like hitting the gym, going on a hot girl walk, or running weekend errands. The cool girl in your life will love pairing them with her favorite matching workout set and a sleek trench coat when it's cold out.

Anthropologie

Being trendy is too easy: Cherry Lips Bag Charm

Bag charms are all the rage right now, so help them hop on the trend with this adorably eye-catching keychain.

Anthropologie

To wear with her cowgirl boots: Worn/West Let's Go For a Walk Trucker Hat

Trucker hats are the perfect head gear for a casual-get up. Styles that make a statement like this one are perfect for the Western fashion lover!

Anthropologie

Seasonal scent for their space: Icon Woody Fresh Balsam & Cedarwood Glass Candle

Anthropologie's candle selection is bomb – you're bound to find a scent your giftee will approve of. We recommend this seasonal woody scent encased in a festive, tree-dotted glass!

Anthropologie

Unique lighter that looks like decor: Nomatiq Flume Electric Lighter

Pick up this electric lighter to coordinate with any candle gift. We promise they've never owned a lighter like this!

Anthropologie

Okay, she's a bookworm: I-SEA Aviator Readers

Whether she's working through her current TBR list or starting off the workweek, these chic readers will help her see clearly. You can snag 'em in a handful of colors and different strengths based on her vision.

Anthropologie

Straight to the point for the shoe lover: Maeve Pointed-Toe Moto Mary Jane Flats

All the cool girls are rocking pointed flats for winter. Bonus points for this pair being metallic!

Looking for more gift recommendations for 2024? Be sure to sign up for our email newsletter!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

This post has been updated with additional reporting by Meredith Holser.

gift ideas gift giving anthropologie shopping holidays gifts

Cheeky Gift Ideas That Suit Anyone and Everyone

Surprise your loved ones with these cheeky gift ideas that are perfect for anyone and everyone! From quirky gadgets to fun, useful finds and playful accessories, these picks are designed to bring a smile to anyone's face. Whether you're shopping for a close friend or that hard-to-please relative, these unique finds add a dash of humor and charm to your holiday gifting. Explore these playful gifts and make this season memorable with presents that everyone will enjoy.

Thanks for reading about our favorite finds from across the internet! FYI: We participate in affiliate programs and may get a share of the revenue from your purchase.

This calming toy to Help Reduce Anxiety

Amazon

This Purrble calming toy has been awarded Amazon’s choice, and will be both fun and soothing for children. It is a high-tech tool and a soft, furry toy that is a cuddly interactive companion that can help children stay calm in moment of stress and anxiety!

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5 Money Mistakes That Can Destroy Your Friendships, According To Experts

Keep reading for a few sneaky ways money can ruin your friendships:

1. Talking About Money Can Expose Hidden Feelings

2. And Money Can Also Create Unease In Conversations

3. Making Assumptions About Other’s Money Status And Financial Situation Can Lead To Disrespecting Boundaries

4. Lending Money Is A Slippery Slope That Can Lead To Distrust And Resentment

5. You Can Worry You're Not A Good Friend Or Family Member For Setting Money Boundaries

Yes, Financial Boundaries Are Essential

The Final Verdict:

What Is The 4B Movement? Inside 2024's Biggest Anti-Relationship Trend

Scroll To Learn What The 4B Movement Is, How It Started, & What It Means For Women In America

What is the 4B Movement?

How did the 4B movement start?

The 4B Movement's Lasting Impact In South Korea

American Women's Response To The 4B Movement

Potential Benefits Of The 4B Movement

25 Anthropologie Gifts That Are Perfect For The Cool Girl In Your Life

Let's jump into the best gifts from Anthropologie for the season! These are perfect for teen girls, Gen-Z-ers, fashion lovers, and those who can't help but hop on the latest trends.

For the one that plans like it's a full-time job: 2025 17-Month Monogram Planner

For the cozy-chic gal: UGG Classic Mini Boots

Bring street style to their closet: The Oversized Brigitte Satchel by Melie Bianco

For the skincare-obsessed: NuFACE Mini+ Gift Set

For the girl on the go: New Balance 530 Sneakers

Being trendy is too easy: Cherry Lips Bag Charm

To wear with her cowgirl boots: Worn/West Let's Go For a Walk Trucker Hat

Seasonal scent for their space: Icon Woody Fresh Balsam & Cedarwood Glass Candle

Unique lighter that looks like decor: Nomatiq Flume Electric Lighter

Okay, she's a bookworm: I-SEA Aviator Readers

Straight to the point for the shoe lover: Maeve Pointed-Toe Moto Mary Jane Flats

Cheeky Gift Ideas That Suit Anyone and Everyone

This calming toy to Help Reduce Anxiety

This Puffer Bomber Is So Chic

Blow Off Some Steam With A Dammit Doll

A Form of Shart

Fidget Putty Is Perfect For Concentration

Advent Calendar But Make It Makeup

Mini Karaoke Machine

These Slippers Are Perfect for Cold Weather

Remove Sebum and Blackheads With This Tool

The Not-So Piggy Bank

Put Your Phone on DND and Enjoy Some Quiet Time

The Top Selling Pillows On Amazon

Shoe Spray to Spray the Stink Away

This Organizer Bin With a Genius Design

A Portable Photo Printer To Make Prints Anywhere

This Desk Lamp For Lighting But in the Cutest Way

Cowboy Hat-Wearing Duck Lamp

This Comfortable Bath Pillow Takes Relaxation to Bliss

The Stanley Stainless Steel Tumbler Is a Fan Favorite

Go Solo

Wrap Up In Warm in These Essentials

Comfy Couch Blanket

Nostalgic Glow From This Tetris Lamp

They'll Feel Pampered With This Laneige Holiday Gift Set

Astronaut Galaxy Night Light

Handprint Kit

This Heated Neck Stretcher For the Whole Body

This Camera Bundle for Pro-Level Shots

Give Their Plants a Personality with these Magnets

This Book Nook for DIY Enthusiasts

Relieve Tension With an Infrared Heat Mat

A Coloring Book with a Sense of Humor

Legacy Journal

Christmas Snow Globe for Magic Glittery Moments

For the True Crime Lover

This Kit to Crochet the Stress Away

These Solar Wind Chimes For Musical Days and Nights

Every Kitchen Needs One

This B5 Balm Soothes Dry Skin

Gift the Joy of Cozy, Warm Sips with a Temperature-Controlled Mug