Female Fertility in 2018: What Every Millennial Needs to Know *Now* 

Brooke Wallace*, an archivist librarian, calls me from uptown Manhattan on her lunch break. We’re connecting because she just finished the process of freezing her eggs and I want to know how it went.

We start at the beginning. Wallace tells me she first considered the procedure when she and her long-term boyfriend finally broke up after realizing they couldn’t get past him not wanting children. It was a painful split for the both of them, and when the now-36-year-old finally did begin dating again, she found that her dwindling fertility was putting a lot of pressure on how she was navigating the modern dating landscape.

Ironically it was a man who she had been out with a few times that informed her about Extend Fertility, a relatively new, boutique egg-freezing clinic in New York City that caters to women just like Wallace — professional women who are open to the idea of having kids eventually, just not quite yet.

“The minute I decided I wanted to do it I felt empowered,” Wallace recalls. “It was like something clicked inside me. My fear of needles just went to the side and I was committed to doing it. I went into that first consultation and was like, ‘Sign me up. Let’s schedule this for my next cycle.’”

And she did just that. On October 1, 2017, Wallace had 15 eggs frozen.

We’re in the midst of an unprecedented era in the history of female fertility. Earlier this year, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that, for the first time ever, American women in their early 30s are having more babies than those in their 20s.

But this shouldn’t come as a huge surprise: At the start of the 2017 fall college term, women were estimated to outnumber men on campuses by 2.6 million. A well-educated, career-focused woman is no longer a rarity; she’s the norm.

Overall, the average age of new moms still hovers around 28, but that number has crept higher and higher in recent decades. The average age of first-time moms was 21 in the 1970s, but by the early 2000s, it was up to 24. The average millennial woman in the US has officially traded the nursery for a seat at a startup.

Despite the strides this generation has made to level out the professional playing field, women are still faced with a biological factor they don’t have much control over: their ovarian reserves. We may be shattering glass ceilings in the workforce, but as author and egg-freezing advocate Agnes Fischer likes to say, ”Our most productive years just happen to coincide with our most reproductive years.” Whether or not there’s adequate science to back that belief up, the fact of the matter is, the necessities of modern life pushing the average age of American childbearing later than ever.

So, I ask in my best Carrie Bradshaw voice: What are women to do?

While biological clocks, unfortunately, cannot be adjusted to reflect the shifted timeframes of contemporary life, when there is a demand in the market, new businesses will inevitably find a way. Case in point: Modern Fertility, a new, at-home fertility test made specifically for ladies like Wallace.

Afton Vechery, who co-founded the company with former UBERHealth exec Carly Leahy in August, explains that she initially became invested in the women’s fertility industry after she decided to get a fertility test done and found herself footing a $1,500 medical bill for it.

“It really stuck with me that infertility today isn’t even treated as a medical condition in a lot of the US,” says Vechery, who had previously worked as a product manager for the genetic testing company 23AndMe. “I started talking to more women and it became this incredibly common theme. Most of us have this really high anxiety about the future and our fertility, but we have no good way to test it.”

Modern Fertility aims to simplify the testing process. Customers receive a testing kit in the mail that asks them to submit a blood sample, which they return in a provided, prepaid envelope to be processed by Modern Fertility’s lab. Within a few days, customers receive a “fertility score,” which is essentially a personalized hormone report plus an age-specific score that they can track over time. The report shows how one user’s ovarian reserve, ovulation, and general body systems compare with others of the same age.

It sounds like a super helpful tool and a first step in the reproductive journey, but here’s the inevitable roadblock: Fertility isn’t a particularly sexy topic. Even the word rolls off the tongue in a kind of jumbled plop. Until it’s something women are seriously considering, fertility isn’t necessarily an issue that’s tactfully explored.

So how do Vechery and Leahy plan to get their target demographic — busy millennial women who might be busy getting doctorate degrees or running businesses — to consider their own fertility as a serious aspect of their overall health? And furthermore, to drop upwards of $150 on a kit?

Vechery is hoping the increasing conversations around the topic will be enough. “We’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this,” she tells me. “Women are talking about it more and more. We did research and found that 86 percent of women in our target demographic [21- to 40-year-olds] have anxiety about their ability to have kids someday. What we’re doing is really focused on providing a company of products and service surrounded by having that conversation in a really productive way, at the right time.”

Vechery and Leahy’s product is a great first step for providing women with the preliminary knowledge of their own reproductive health. For women who are ready to take action, some are turning to a relatively new procedure that’s introducing an unprecedented cultural shift of its own: egg freezing.

The first live birth from a frozen egg was recorded in 1999, but it wasn’t until 2012, when the American Society for Reproductive Medicine took the experimental label off of egg freezing, that the procedure became readily accessible. Since the label was lifted, egg freezing has gone from something done mostly by women going through IVF and struggling with infertility to something women are proactively taking part in as a precaution. Capitalizing on this shift are shiny new clinics like Extend Fertility, where Wallace chose to have her eggs frozen.

When I visited Extend Fertility, I arrived in a nondescript high rise and ventured into a somewhat stale hallway on the fourth floor. However, once I found the door, it was a different world on the other side. The waiting room and consultation areas feel like an IKEA living room or a meeting room in a startup office. It’s far from the cold, sterile feeling often associated with doctor’s offices. When Wallace speaks of the place, she describes it as “spa-like.”

Like its exterior, Extend Fertility’s purpose is visibly and fundamentally different than that of standard fertility clinics. That’s because unlike most clinics, it’s not specifically focused on helping people overcome the disease of infertility.

“Being on the front lines of daily practice at an IVF infertility clinic, it was apparent that the setting of the traditional infertility IVF clinics was not the best way to be helping women learn about this [procedure] and choose to do it,” say Dr. Joshua Klein, the Chief Medical Officer and co-founder of Extend Fertility. “They’re just regular 21st-century women who are trying to keep their options open for the future.”

Wallace is a prime example of the type of woman that not only Extend Fertility, but an entire growing industry is beginning to cater to: the modern woman who probably wants kids, just not right now.

“There’s a sort of abstract feeling [about it all],” she says. “It’s a little bit, kind of sci-fi-esque, but I know that if this does result in a child, that October 1, 2017 will be a day of some significance.”

As much as the homey ambiance puts clients at ease, it’s still a very complex and scientific procedure women are considering when they come here. And for many, they’re not totally sure how it all works.

According to Kristen Mancinelli, Extend Fertility’s director of partnerships and education, the egg-freezing process breaks down into four phases:

The Informational Phase: When a patient expresses interest in the procedure, they’re first paired with someone from the clinic for an informational chat that will guide them through the entire journey. That’s essentially an open dialogue where they can ask all their unanswered and common questions, like, how long does it take, does it hurt, how much does it cost, etc.

If a woman wants to move forward, she’ll then come for a fertility assessment, which is basically a more thorough version of what Modern Fertility is offering at-home. This 30-minute assessment looks at two things: an Anti-Mullerian Hormone level (which gives the team a good sense of ovarian reserve, or egg supply) and a transvaginal ultrasound (which can look at the follicles on ovaries that are priming eggs for maturity in that month).

A unique element of Extend Fertility’s process is that they don’t charge for this part of the process (so long as insurance can cover the blood work required). Once the results come back, patients meet with a reproductive endocrinologist who interprets the results of the tests and really discusses whether egg-freezing is the right choice. If the results come back incredibly positive or she decides to hold off, the patient can walk away no strings attached.

The Logistical Phase: Should the patient decide to move forward, she’ll look at a calendar and schedule an egg freezing cycle. In this phase, she’ll sign all the consent forms, make the payment, and learn how to give herself the hormones shots required.

“The hardest part was that I constantly felt like I should be getting pregnant, not laying eggs.”

– Agnes Fischer

The Development Phase: The next time the patient comes in is at the start of her egg freezing cycle. This part of the process can take anywhere from eight to 11 days (it can be different for each patient). This is when women give themselves hormone injections and are required to visit the clinic roughly every other day for a quick “monitoring” visit. Here she’ll receive a blood test and an ultrasound to check in on the progress of the eggs.

When I spoke with Agnes Fischer about her own experience, she describes this phase as the hardest part. “I constantly felt like I should be getting pregnant, not laying eggs,” she tells me.

Wallace also describes this time period as physically challenging. As is commonly reported, she became incredibly bloated and described the feeling as carrying “two bunches of grapes” in her ovaries. “By the end, I had to sit delicately and I was being extremely delicate with myself,” she says.

When the eggs have grown to the right size, the doctor will tell the woman that she’s ready for what’s called a “trigger shot,” which is a different shot that she takes at the end of this phase. Then, a day and a half later, she’ll come in for her egg retrieval.

Egg Retrieval and Vitrification: The retrieval process is relatively quick, taking only 10 to 15 minutes, but it’s invasive enough that anesthesia is required. Once the patient wakes up, she’s mostly done with her part of the deal, but for the embryologists waiting on the other side of the room for the eggs, now it’s go-time.

Once the eggs are extracted, they’re passed in a vial through a small window from the procedure room straight into the lab where someone like Dr. Leslie Ramirez (Extend Fertility’s embryologist who walked me through the process) will be waiting to start the vitrification — AKA, freezing — process immediately.

First, she cleans the eggs of blood and extra cells and looks for healthy eggs under a state-of-the-art microscope. Once the maximum amount of viable eggs are retrieved, they are placed in an incubator for about an hour and a half to recover from the temperature changes in their environment.

After an hour and a half in the incubator, eggs are then deposited on “straws” labeled with patient information and immediately plunged into liquid nitrogen and frozen. The combination of cryoprotectants and faster cooling (compared to the slow freezing method) reduces the opportunity for damaging ice crystals to form.

The “straws” are then capped and placed into canisters for storage. They’ll stay there for a short period of time before being sent to a long-term storage facility, where they’re held until the patient decides to use them.

For an even more detailed account of the vitrification process head here.

Impressive science aside, there’s a very obvious setback for this kind procedure: the cost. Unsurprisingly, it’s incredibly expensive. Though, depending on the circumstance and package selected, Extend Fertility’s egg freezing procedures cost up to 80 percent less than the 2017 national average, the hormones alone can cost anywhere between $2,000 to $4,000. The actual procedure costs anywhere from $4,750 to $10,000, depending on how many eggs a patient would like to try to retrieve, and long-term storage for the eggs will set patients back $350 to $450 a year. Another thing to keep in mind is that, if the frozen eggs are to be implanted at some point, that will inevitably require IVF, which will set patients back $3,000 to $5,000 more.

For women who aren’t able to write a check for somewhere in the $10,000 range (at least) but also want to wait to have babies, that poses an impossible predicament. When I asked Extend Fertility’s Dr. Klein about what can be done to help offset the shockingly high price tag, he tells me this is something they think about a lot.

To the company’s credit, it genuinely does seem like they’re doing all they can to make their services affordable. Extend Fertility patients can select a payment plan if they can’t afford the one-time payment. The clinic also offers discounts to people in certain industries, like teachers and women whose companies are corporate partners. Cancer patients get a “very special” discount.

But the reality is that, until egg freezing becomes either super normalized or a common company health benefit (tech companies like Facebook and Spotify have already started covering egg freezing), buying time is a costly investment.

Scientifically, we’ve found a way to cheat biology to a certain extent, but we’re still venturing into an unknown landscape. Are there cultural implications of older parents that we haven’t considered?

In a study conducted by the University of California, San Francisco, researchers interviewed 46 couples and 15 single women who had used in vitro fertilization to conceive their first child when the woman was 40 or older. 72 percent of women and more than half of men said they felt more emotionally prepared to parent at that point in their lives.

And when parents are better prepared, the kids benefit. A separate study looked into the relationship between older parents and their children’s test scores and found that children with older parents tended to score higher on average. Two other studies have linked the higher cognitive ability and overall well being of these children to the fact that older parents generally tend to be more psychologically mature, better equipped to roll with the punches and not freak out over minor infractions.

Even if the future does consist of genius babies and older parents, there are still a lot of unknowns when it comes to this new wave of parenting and one major question that should be considered: How will it affect the gap between generations?

If men and women are becoming parents closer to the 30-year mark, and their children are to do the same, that will inevitably cause a greater divide between generations, not only in family dynamics but also in places like the workforce where different age groups regularly work together.

There are also potentially higher biological risks that older mothers face that are less common in younger moms, though a lack of research makes this hard to be certain about. According to some studies (and a whole lot of popular wisdom), if a woman gets pregnant naturally at age 40, her fetus faces a potentially higher risk of complications, including stillbirth or genetic abnormalities such as Down’s Syndrome. (Note: These risks purportedly minimized if eggs harvested earlier in life are used, though the verdict is still out on that one.)

Despite the worries bound to accompany such a personal and cutting-edge decision, Wallace is feeling good about freezing her eggs.

“In the days following [the extraction procedure], I’ve already started to become this sort of overbearing mother,” she admits. “I’m like, Where are my eggs? I remember reaching out to the people at Extend Fertility and asking, ‘Where are they now? When are they going to long-term storage?’ And, just feeling almost concerned about where they are and are they safe and are they gonna get mixed up with other ones? I’m still feeling that way.”

The modern world of female fertility is very much still a place where logistics are being figured out, but make no mistake; advancements in this landscape are a true testament to the times. Women’s reproductive health is something the medical community is increasingly recognizing as being worthy of attention. As a result, future families may not form in the same way they used to, but it might just be for the better.

*Some names have been changed at the subject’s request

Is fertility something you actively think about? Start the conversation! Share your thoughts on the topic with us on Twitter @BritandCo.

(Extend Fertility photos via Rick Wright Photography, Design via Torii Burnett)

Last year, some of us celebrated the holidays apart from our families for the first time. COVID has brought with it many changes, some of them arguably positive (like increased flexibility to work from home), some difficult (such as the realization of vastly different political and social views between family and friends), and some horrible (obviously, the health implications of a global pandemic). However, for some of us, celebrating the holidays without family members isn't exclusively due to COVID. In addition to so many of us living in different areas than our families of origin, some of us simply don't have close bonds with the people we grew up around. Sometimes, this can cause loneliness.

If you're not close with your family members, the holidays can be a difficult time. This is doubly true if you don't have a close circle of friends to call upon. But make no mistake, if this sounds like your situation, you're not alone — there are thousands of other people going through the same struggles you are. We sat down with Irad Eichler, founder of Circles, a website that connects people who are sharing similar struggles, like heartbreak, grief, or loneliness. Here are some of Eichler's tips for coping — and even thriving! — during the holiday season when you're not planning on spending it with your family, for one reason or another.

Don't Fall For "Perfect Families" On Social Media

Laura Chouette

The first VERY important step to having a joyous holiday season when you're going it alone is to stop believing the narrative that others' family situations are perfect, Eichler says.

"Remember people only post a moment in time, and only the moments when they look their happiest and best."

In addition to the fact that everything you see on social media is curated for the 'gram, it's also important to remember that by focusing on what others have and you lack, you risk failing to see the great things at play in your own life.

"These holiday periods can become a time of focusing on who and what we don't have, rather than who or what we do, and can cause a negative spiral into depressing and dreadful feelings of inadequacy," says Eichler.

Gratitude is the reason for the season, after all. So instead of only seeing the negative, try some gratitude journal prompts to help you focus on what's actually really wonderful about your life right now.

Make An Effort To Deepen New Connections

Joel Muniz

While it may seem like everyone has friends and family to spend time with during the holiday season, that doesn't mean no one is available for deepening a blossoming relationship or new friendship.

"Make a list of people you can or would like to connect with, and try to reach out to at least one of them," advises Eichler.

Reaching out doesn't have to mean a big plan or an hour-long conversation. Even a quick text letting a friendly coworker know you're thinking about them can go a long way toward deepening the relationship and moving it in the direction of closer friendship.

Don't have an acquaintance in mind? Then it's time to make new acquaintances. What's more in line with the Christmas spirit than attending a Meetup or event full of people eager to make new friends?

"Join groups with similar interests to yours, such as hiking, baking, or games. Push your boundaries and be brave - you might find new people who have much in common with you."

Give Back

Priscilla Du Preez

The holiday season is a great time to focus on giving back to your community, and coincidentally, acts of generosity and kindness are known to reduce loneliness and help people feel happier. One study found that knowing a few of your neighbors and doing small acts of kindness for them — such as cheering them up, listening to them, mowing their lawn, providing advice about local business recommendations and job opportunities, and chatting over the fence — was statistically correlated with feeling less lonely and having a lower risk of depression.

Helping out elderly neighbors can be a particularly gratifying way to give back.

"Notice older lonely people in your neighborhood or community who might have no family at all, and offer to help them," says Eichler. "These can become mutually meaningful connections, and help you 'adopt' a grandparent."

Connect With Others Online

Thought Catalog

Finally, use the Internet for its highest and best purpose: to connect people. Whether you're using Meetup to find in-person events, digital forums for having conversations about special interests, or programs like Circle for getting support from others in your situation, the opportunities to create new connections are practically endless.

"There are many interest groups that can be found digitally, where or any person can connect with others in the same life stage, going through the same challenges, or who would like to explore the same interests," Eichler states. "Meaningful connections can be formed easily in these circumstances. The Internet enables us to find and connect to people all over the world who fit this, and to whom we can become more easily attached, as we are able to find people with the exact interests that energize us."

If you're struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. Connect with our digital community of makers and creatives here at Brit+Co by following us on IG and signing up for our newsletter!

This post has been updated.

Zach Bryan and Brianna "Chickenfry" LaPaglia's explosive breakup is everywhere right now. From his seemingly one-sided social media posts to all the bombshell revelations she keeps dropping, it's clear this split is NOT amicable. Both parties are dropping tons of lore, info, and everything in between — including new music?! — right now, so it makes sense if you can't keep up. Luckily, I'm here to help break this breakup down for you! Here's everything you need to know about Zach Bryan and Brianna Chickenfry's relationship...or lack thereof.

Neilson Barnard/Getty Images for The Recording Academy

October 22, 2024 – Zach Bryan Announces His Breakup With Brianna Chickenfry

On October 22, 2024, after some recent speculation that Zach Bryan and Brianna Chickenfry split up, Zach took to his Instagram stories. The country star said, "Addressing something: Brianna and me have broken up with [each other] and I respect and love her with every ounce of my heart. She has loved me unconditionally for a very long time and for that I'll always thank her."

He continued, noting, "I have had an incredibly hard year personally and struggled through some pretty severe things. I thought it would be beneficial for both of us to go our different ways. I am not perfect and never will be. Please respect Brianna's privacy and space in this and if you have it in your heart, mine too."

To wrap it all up, he closed by apologizing to his fans. He said, "With everything I am and to anyone I let down, I am sorry. I try my best in everything. I failed people that love me and mostly myself."

www.youtube.com

- YouTube

Brianna hopped on her own Instagram stories shortly there after. She posted, "Hey guys I'm feeling really blindsided right now. Gonna hop off social media for a while and attempt to heal privately, when I'm ready I'll be back and ready to talk. I love you guys so much thank you for all of your kind words. Remember you are so loved and everything's always gonna be okay 🫶"

The Brianna got on Youtube next, posting a raw, emotional video about the situation. Sitting on the floor of her bathroom, she opened up as much as she could in the moment about her breakup. She said, "I just woke up to Zach posting on his Instagram that we broke up and I had no idea that post was going up. He didn't text me, he didn't call me. I just woke up to a bunch of texts, like, 'Are you okay?'"

Brianna, with her teary eyes and red face, explained she's been crying for "five days straight." She said, "I'm at the point where it's like, how can you give someone everything and love them so unconditionally, like through stuff that you shouldn't because you just love them and you want them... like you see the good in them?"

The internet personality said that this is all "so embarrassing" and "really, really heartbreaking." She elaborated that the couple broke up on October 21, but wanted to process on her own and "didn't want it to be public."

Much like her Instagram story, she told her audience that she'll come back when she's ready.

www.youtube.com

- YouTube

November 7, 2024 — Brianna Claims Zach's Emotionally Abusive, Wanted $12Mil NDA

Well, it appears this week, Brianna decided she's ready. On Barstool Sports' BFF's Pod November 7, 2024, Brianna gave an inside look at the breakup unlike any other. Not only did she claim Zach was abusive, but she also alleged that he offered her a $12 million NDA to "not talk about the relationship."

After saying it's been the hardest year of her life, she said. "I'm still scared right now because I'm scared of him. My brain's rewired and I'm scared to make him mad and last week, I didn't want to talk about it 'cause I was scared."

Brianna then described the alleged emotional abuse. She noted that everything was cyclical and that he would build her up only to break her back down again. "There was always another excuse as to why he was treating me so poorly and why I'm crying myself to sleep every night, why he's screaming at me," she said. "And then you wake up, it's the apology, it's the 'I'm going to be better like I need you in my life,' but if you've been through this — I don't expect people to understand emotional abuse if you haven't been through it. I hope you never have to go through it but if you've been there you know what I'm talking about."

Not only does Brianna allege she was offered an NDA, but she said that other women that came before her had to sign their own agreements. She declined the offer because she didn't want to "sign away [her] experiences and what [she] went through to protect someone that hurt [her]." She also wanted to share this experience for other women who've suffered something similar.

And when it comes to the logistics of losing out on the famous lifestyle and alleged $12 million? She said, "It was never about the money — I was with the dude because I loved the dude."

Jason Kempin/Getty Images for Pilgrimage Music & Cultural Festival

November 8, 2024 — Zach Quit Touring Amid Abuse Allegations

On November 8, 2024, Zach posted on Instagram — where he clearly loves to share all his big news — that not only is his new single "High Road" out today, but that he's also ending his tour early. Read his full statement here:

After not being home for a year and a half I drove out to my mothers gravestone in the dead of night a few days back on familiar Oklahoma roads and I came to realize just like in the past, that she never would call me again

Told her I quit touring because I got accepted to get my masters in Paris next year, I told her I was back in Oklahoma, told her about all my best friends in New York and all the nights we howled with the moon, told her about the immeasurable laughter my band and me have shared these last five years, all the calluses on my finger tips, every tear shed, told her about making it on The Rolling Stone and most importantly told her about porch swinging with my beautiful sister.
I wrote the chorus for this song a month or two back and finished it when I realized I was blessed with all these things.

I figured it was about time I released it.

Thank you guys for listening to ‘This Worlds a Giant’ last night and thank you to all the people who love me; who have truly carried the weight with me.

Seems that all these Quiet Dreams have gotten much too heavy but I’m home now and I’ll hold you through the pain.

High Road is out today and I appreciate all of you"

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