The 5 Biggest Red Flags You Probably Ignored In Your First Relationship

Jasmine Williams
Dec 09, 2024
first love red flags

First loves are TOUGH — especially when you start to see all the red flags you missed along the way once it's over. If you've been dissecting your own early love stories by reading Reddit threads or chatting with your girlfriends about their own relationship experiences, just know this: you're not alone! The entire Brit + Co staff even found ourselves discussing the first person we ever fell in love with...and the recounts did not disappoint. From realizing 19 seemed to be a common age for our all-time worst relationships to understanding how our first love was probably not as ideal as we originally thought, it made us wonder why we couldn't pinpoint red flags back then.

Licensed Psychotherapist Prerna Menon, founder of Boundless, LCSW-PLLC and Licensed marriage and family therapist Joseph Cavins, LMFT have a few thoughts that have helped us decode the precarious time in our lives.

Here's why some of us ignored how awful our first love might've been

1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.

Savannah Dematteo

I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.

"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.

As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."

Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.

2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.

Keira Burton

While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."

Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.

Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."

3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.

Luis Zambrano

Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?

Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.

You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says

4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.

Adely

*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."

Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.

4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.

Pavel Danilyuk

Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.

Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.

I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."

5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.

Ketut Subiyanto

Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."

At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.

What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?

Andrea Piacquadio

First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."

I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.

"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.

Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.

Here are Menon's tips:

  • Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
  • Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.

Anastasia Nagibina

I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?

I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.

"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."

Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."

He wants you to consider these things:

  • Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
  • Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
  • Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.

Menon's final piece of advice is similar in that she encourages you to be "self-critical, self-aware, and self-nourishing." She doesn't want you to be afraid to be "clear and transparent about your expectations for the relationship" either. Though we weren't a fan of the outcomes of our first real romantic relationships, they've made us wiser. So, shout out to our first loves for being the worst because they've become our best learning lessons.

That's not all! We have even more helpful articles about relationships & family if you're looking for everything from celebrity couples to navigating hard conversations during the holidays.

6 Clear Signs Someone Is A Toxic Person — & When To Cut Them Out

How many times have you heard someone is a toxic person and — aside from therapy speak — what does it mean? According to Michelle English, LCSW, Co-Founder and Executive Clinical Manager at Healthy Life Recovery, "In a therapeutic setting, toxic behavior usually refers to patterns of behavior that regularly cause emotional, mental, or even physical harm to others."

Wondering why people resort to being toxic behavior? English says, "They are frequently the result of unresolved personal issues such as trauma, insecurity, or a lack of self-awareness." Jamie Bennett, LMFT of Mountainside Treatment Center, adds, "Many toxic people do things with the intent of getting a certain reaction – like a bully. If they want to rile you up and you don’t get riled up this changes the dynamic."

Wanna know what signs to look out for when it comes to toxic people? We've got you covered — and we have the tea on when you should finally cut them out!

P.S. Bennett says assertiveness isn't toxic, even if someone's behavior sometimes comes off as pushy or controlling. This just means they're sure of themselves!

Here are the 6 signs of a toxic person — & when to cut them out!

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1. They're always being dismissive.

Have you ever been really excited or upset about something only to be met with a dismissive tone from someone you confided in? This person is displaying toxicity which "gradually undermines trust in relationships," according to English. Would you want to keep sharing things with a person if they're always downplaying your emotions? Probably not.

Alex Green

2. Controlling others seems like a sport to them.

English says another way to determine someone is toxic is pay attention to their controlling behavior. It can be something as simple as telling you what to wear or something greater such as forcibly limiting your contact with anyone they think isn't good for you.

Keira Burton

3. They consistently makes excuses for their behavior.

Have you ever let a close friend know certain behavior bothers you only for them to make an excuse for why they keep doing them? Bennett says this counts as "avoiding responsibility for actions." Furthermore, "constantly" doing so or looking to "push the blame onto someone else veers into toxic territory," she adds.

Another way to look at this is if someone is always falling into a pattern of "victimizing themselves," according to Bennett.

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4. They tend to be manipulative.

Manipulation is tricky because it's not always obvious until it's too late. It's kind of like not realizing you were bit by a mosquito until your skin becomes itchy and red. Bennett says this is toxic because there's a knowing that someone can "appeal to a certain person's characteristics or personality traits." This looks like saying or doing something "with the intention of getting a certain reaction," according to her.

Bennett says, "An example may be one partner in sobriety who consistently uses their poor mental health as a reason to not be proactive about finding a job. They do this because they know that the other partner is worried about their loved one relapsing so they use that fear against her."

Liza Summer

5. They never miss an opportunity to gaslight people.

Calling this a "well-known example," English says gaslighting often occurs when someone denies the reality of another person." What would cause someone to do this? Well, a toxic behavior often doesn't want to take accountability for their actions so they'd rather "cause people to doubt their own perceptions," according to English.

Alena Darmel

6. They're always looking for reasons to criticize someone.

The catty behavior on The Real Housewives of New York may be entertaining for TV, but that kind of behavior gets old quickly in everyday life. No one wants to hear why "so and so thinks they're all that" even if it's disguised as humor. English says, "Regardless of their motivation," behaviors like this "can lead to stressful and emotionally distressing situations."

Alena Darmel

cottonbro studio

Is it time to cut that toxic person out of my life?

We live in a society that started prioritizing ending relationships with people as soon as we spot red flags, but English and Bennett don't think this should be our immediate reaction. English says, "The decision to disengage with a toxic person in the relationship will depend on how harsh and serious the relationship is" because "it is often personal."

According to her, if you notice a consistent pattern where the behavior is "damaging your emotional health," it's okay to walk away from that person. Still, she believes "completely cutting [someone] off is often a last option when other approaches to changing the behavior have not worked." Bennett says something similar and notes how to approach different scenarios.

"If it someone you need to communicate with because of a job or family, there are things you can do to protect yourself," she says. She suggests reminding "yourself who you are dealing with" if the person is adept at gaslighting others because "it may be easy to become convinced that you are wrong or something did not happen the way you recall." A phrase she encourages you to tell yourself is, "I know that my experiences are my experiences no matter what."

RDNE Stock project

If you're dealing with an aggressively toxic person, you'll have to "set and reinforce boundaries," Bennett says while English adds that "engaging in therapy to faciliate healthier relationships" may be a next step.

Here's how Bennett suggests navigating communication with someone like this:

  • Set a boundary to end the conversation when you notice toxic behavior such as invalidation of your feelings.
  • Receive support from another person so they can remind you of things you're trying to accomplish

If you're dealing with a friend or spouse, Bennett wants you to remember "you cannot change them" but you're in control of how you respond. English says, "It is important to analyze the whole situation and know when the cost of the relationship is greater than the benefits."

Bennett's last piece of advice is to know when to walk away" by having a "deep awareness for how you are feeling." You can do this by "checking in with your body and thoughts" so you can understand how you "respond to stress," according to her. She says this will give you more "clues on what when it's time to step away!"

Read more of our relationships articles to learn how to navigate tough situations in 2025!

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Trader Joe’s Just Brought Back A “Cult-Favorite” Dessert In A New Flavor

Get excited, because Trader Joe’s just brought back a seasonal flavor of one of their most beloved frozen desserts. Mini-sized and perfect for mid-day – or, let’s be real – midnight snacking, the Hold The Cone ice cream has gracefully returnedwith the taste of none other than coffee! Yum. TJ’s fans are already running to their nearest stores to grab a box (or two!), so you're definitely going to want to grab this limited-time item before it runs out.

Scroll on to discover more about the Coffee Bean Hold the Cone! Mini Ice Cream Cones from Trader Joe’s.

Trader Joe's

Trader Joe’s Hold the Cone! Mini Ice Cream Cones category includes classics like strawberry, chocolate, and chocolate chip, but a newcomer just joined the lineup: coffee bean! The cones are truly a cult-favorite item amongst shoppers, including myself!

Trader Joe's

According to Trader Joe’s, the Coffee Bean Hold the Cone! Mini Ice Cream Cones feature mini chocolate sugar cones lined with a “chocolatey” coating that are then packed with a rich and “strongly flavored” coffee bean ice cream.

Trader Joe's

Chocolate and coffee is a truly stunning food combo, so coffee and dessert lovers will adore this new iteration. Additionally, their small size makes them absolutely irresistible for snacking sessions – I could honestly eat the whole box in one sitting.

@traderjoesobsessed

TJ’s fan account @traderjoesobsessed shared the returning find with their Instagram followers, and it was an instant hit among those who know and love ‘em, and people who have never tried the cones before.

“Yassss my favorite flavor!!!” one person commented.

“I will be buying two boxes tomorrow,” another declared.

“I don’t understand why this is a seasonal flavor!” someone else pointed out.

Reddit

One box of the Trader Joe’s Coffee Bean Hold the Cone! Mini Ice Cream Cones is just $4, and that guarantees you 8 mini-sized ice cream cones to share – or keep all to yourself.

You can find this new drop in between TJ’s freezer aisles next to so many more sweet finds like the Blood Orange Mochi and the Speculoos Cookie Butter Ice Cream. I’m craving ice cream already!

Subscribe to our newsletter to discover more epic Trader Joe's products + new items!

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6 Phrases To Stop A Narcissist In Their Tracks (Or At Least Set Boundaries)

Having toxic friends, family members, or romantic partners in your life can feel like standing in the rain for hours on end. You usually feel drained of energy on top of being drenched in bad energy. Though it's clear you probably need to set boundaries, it's not always easy to decipher what you should say during a conversation where a narcissist is doing what they do best.

Clinical social worker, and Clinical Director of Villa Oasis San Diego, Michelle Beaupre, MSW, Ph.D., LCSW has helped clients navigate this very topic at different points in their lives and has 6 phrases you can say to either shut down a narcissist or let them know you're uninterested in their behavior.

6 things to say when a narcissist thinks they're getting the last word

1. What to say if your romantic partner makes you question whether you saw inappropriate texts on their phone

Alex Green

If I had things my way, gaslighting would be outlawed. Unfortunately, some people just can't seem to take responsibility for their actions, and they really love to make it everyone else's problem. Even more infuriatingly, it can appear in romantic relationships when one person is caught doing something that breaches the trust between them and their partner.

If your boyfriend or girlfriend spins a tale that makes you question what you’re sure you saw, try not to panic. Instead, take a page from Beaupre’s book. She suggests saying, “I’ll stand by what I know is true. If we need to agree to disagree, that’s fine, but I’m not going to let this change what I know or how I feel.”

She says doing this “shows them you’re not going to be swayed or pulled into their ‘game.’” It also helps “keep you grounded and firm, making it clear that their gaslighting isn’t going to work.” The more you stand your ground, the more someone is “less likely to continue trying to manipulate/control you,” according to her.

2. What to say when a friend keeps lying about their accomplishments

Pavel Danilyuk

This is a tricky one because you probably know one of your friends likes to embellish the truth a bit. It’s one of the things that used to be funny because they could always come up with a story on the spot. But, it can be confusing if you notice your friend tends to lie about something they’ve accomplished. Just don’t think you have to go out of your way to expose them though.

Beaupre says, “If it’s not harming anyone, sometimes it’s okay to leave it alone because, eventually, the truth will catch up to them anyway, and they will learn their lesson on their own.” But she says if you notice “their lies are causing major problems or hurting others,” speak up “gently.”

“You can ask them why they feel the need to lie, and if there’s something they’re struggling with that they might want to talk about,” she continues. Her suggestion is to say, “I’ve noticed that sometimes, you say things that don’t really add up, and I’m just wondering if there’s a reason. Is everything okay?”

3. What to say when someone complains about you setting boundaries

Pavel Danilyuk

If there’s one thing a narcissist can’t stand, it’s boundaries. If you know someone who has a tendency to overreact when you set them, Beaupre knows what you can say to them. “I’m not okay with how you’re reacting. If you can’t respect my limit, then I’m going to have to take a step back and distance myself,” she suggests.

She feels “this makes it clear that you’re serious about your boundaries.” Also, it signals that you “won’t let their reaction change what you need to feel respected, safe and secure.”

4. What to say if someone utters "I love you" after a few weeks of dating

Katerina Holmes

If only some of us would’ve asked this question during some of our prior relationships, we may have avoided unnecessary heartbreak. Should you find yourself faced with someone’s eager declarations of love early on, Beaupre wants you to “to be honest about how you feel and not feel pressured to say it back if you’re not ready.”

What you can say is, “Thank you. That means a lot, but I’m not there yet. Maybe one day, but not now.” By doing this, you’re not discrediting their emotions. Instead, you’re letting them “know you appreciate them and their feelings” while setting “the pace that works for you,” according to Beaupre. Please don't force yourself to feel something if you don't.

5. What to say when someone makes light of something or someone you're grieving

RDNE Stock project

This reminds us of one of the relationship red flags we recently dug into. We know why people say passive-aggressive things, but it's still painful no matter what the situation is. In the case of grieving, it's a hard no for us. Beaupre says, “In times like this, when you’re going through a lot of heavy emotions, it’s important to set a boundary for your peace.”

If you feel yourself questioning whether your feelings are valid, Beaupre says not to do that. "Don't let others downplay/dismiss what you’re feeling or going through, especially if it's something that's really taking a toll on you." What she urges you to say is, "I know you may not fully understand, but this is really important to me, and I need you to respect that.” In her opinion, it's a way of letting that person "know you're serious about protecting your emotional space without being confrontational."

And if they're still being a grade-A jerk about it? It may be time to limit the time you spend with them.

6. What to say if someone uses 'jokes' to constantly critique your appearance

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We think laughter is good for the soul, but not at the expense of hurting other people's feelings. This means no one should have the luxury of repeatedly commenting about the way you present yourself. Beaupre says, "If the way you look, what you’re wearing or how you speak isn’t hurting anyone, they really shouldn’t be commenting on it." Should you notice this unfortunate pattern in someone close to you, it's time to address it.

Beaupre wants you to try saying, "I’m fine with how I look and speak. You can let me know if there's a problem, but please don’t make me feel bad about it." That way, you can "set a clear limit about what you won't tolerate," according to her. She believes it's also a "chance to share any concerns without crossing into criticism or bullying."

Still, someone who refuses to stop disguising their obvious issues with you as harmless 'jokes' isn't someone who deserves a long-term spot in your life.

Scroll through more relationships stories to see how you should navigate everything from tense friendships to conversations about money.

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The 10 Best Tom Hanks Movies That Have Aged Brilliantly

With an acting career that spans over four decades, Tom Hanks (born Thomas Jeffrey Hanks) is revered as one of the most beloved and well-respected actors in Hollywood. Whether he’s portraying a lovable man-child in Big or voicing a trustworthy cowboy sheriff doll in Toy Story, the now 68-year-old actor and filmmaker has managed to capture the hearts of audiences around the world, solidifying himself as an American cultural icon. Aside from having many prestigious awards under his belt, Hanks’ impressive acting catalog includes a movie or two that is an absolute must-watch. (Ahem, I’ve watched You’ve Got Mail more than a dozen times, but who’s counting?)

From Cast Away to Apollo 13, here’s a list of the best Tom Hanks movies everyone should watch at least once—if you haven’t already!

1. Forrest Gump

Paramount Pictures

One of the most memorable quotes from this widely-praised classic comes from Forrest Gump himself, where the titular character repeats a phrase often used by his late mother: “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

That’s just one of the inspirational lessons you will take away throughout the film. Serving as an adaption of Winston Groom’s 1986 novel of the same title, Forrest Gump follows an Alabama man who doesn’t let his intellectual shortcomings stand in his way. From fighting on the front lines of the Vietnam War to captaining a shrimp boat, Forrest Gump is living his life to the fullest.

But he yearns to be with his childhood love, Jenny, who goes on to live a troubling life. Not only was Forrest Gump a box office success (garnering a whopping $678.2 million worldwide during its theatrical run, btw) but it was admired by critics and fans alike, earning an 8.8 out of 10 rating on IMDb and a 75 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. While this Tom Hanks movie has faced some controversy over the years, its redeeming qualities make it one of the most iconic movies of the 90s.

2. Toy Story

Disney

Woody is the true definition of best friend goals. Woody’s unwavering fearlessness and ability to go to infinity and beyond for Andy (AKA his owner) and his fellow toys is quite endearing. It’s hard to picture anyone other than Tom Hanks voicing the iconic vintage doll. From the moment Woody is first introduced on screen, Hanks brings a story of charm and je ne sais quoi to the character that can’t be replicated.

While the Toy Story movie franchise consists of four movies (with a fifth movie currently in the works, ICYMI), the first Toy Story movie will always be a fan favorite, earning an 8.3 out of 10 rating on IMDb and a perfect 100 percent score on Rotten Tomatoes.

3. Philadelphia

TriStar

Moving, poignant and unforgettable. Those are the three words that describe Hank’s phenomenal (and don’t forget Oscar-winning!) performance in 1993’s law drama Philadelphia. Meet Andrew Beckett, a lawyer working at a prestigious law firm in Philadelphia. In a desperate attempt to save his career, he keeps his HIV diagnosis and homosexuality a secret from his co-workers.

However, an employee discovers his secret, and as a result, Beckett is let go from the law firm. Angered by the firm’s decision, Beckett enlists the help of a Black lawyer named Joe Miller (played by Denzel Washington) and sues his former employer for discrimination.

From the talented ensemble cast to the film’s underlying message of social injustice and prejudice, Philadelphia is an absolute must-watch from beginning to end. And the ratings speak for themselves: Philadelphia has a 7.7/10 on IMDb and 81 percent on Rotten Tomatoes.

4. ​Big

20th Century Fox

If you ask me, Big is like the big brother to 13 Going on 30 and 17 Again. Directed by Penny Marshall (who you may recognize from the TV sitcom Laverne & Shirley!), Big follows a 12-year-old boy named Josh Baskin, who wishes he was “big.”

One day, he wakes up as an adult. However, Josh longs for the days of childhood. But what makes this film so great? Hanks brings such a childlike innocence to the role that you can’t help but smile whenever he appears on screen. Whether he’s playing with toys or gleefully playing a sonnet on a life-size piano keyboard with his feet, Big makes you feel an enchanting sense of nostalgia, where you can think back to a time when life was so carefree and being a child wasn’t a distant memory. Also, it has a 7.3/10 rating on IMDb and a whopping 98 percent on Rotten Tomatoes.

5. Sleepless in Seattle

TriStar

As someone who has watched Sleepless in Seattle more than once, I can’t say enough how much this timeless rom-com deserves a spot on this list. From the undeniable chemistry between Hanks and Meg Ryan to the talented ensemble cast, this is a movie I put on whenever I’m in the mood for a genuine, heartwarming romance. What’s not to love?

Following the death of his wife, Sam Baldwin and his son move to Seattle for a fresh start. One night, Jonah calls into a radio station to find his dad a new wife. While driving late at night, a journalist named Annie Reed is listening to the same radio segment and she falls for Sam, but—get this—she’s engaged.

Unable to get him off her mind, Annie takes a leap of faith and writes to Sam, asking him to meet up on top of the Empire State Building on Valentine’s Day. If that doesn’t scream romance, then I don’t know what does. Though Sleepless in Seattle received a 6.8/10 rating on IMDb and 75 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, it remains one of my fave Nora Ephron films and Tom Hanks’ swoon-worthy portrayal of Sam is chef's kiss.

6. ​Cast Away

DreamWorks

If you were questioning Tom Hanks’ range as an actor, just put on Cast Away (which has a 7.8/10 rating on IMDb and 88 percent on Rotten Tomatoes) one time and you’ll see for yourself. I mean, the man is acting alongside a volleyball named Wilson for most of the movie, for crying out loud.

Hanks is a force to be reckoned with in this film, where he plays a FedEx executive who survives a plane crash and becomes stranded on a deserted island. As he fights to survive, he dreams of one day reuniting with a person he holds near and dear to his heart: his soon-to-be fiancée.

7. ​Saving Private Ryan

DreamWorks

The first time I watched Saving Private Ryan was in Social Studies class. Middle school, to be exact. Set during WWII, Saving Private Ryan follows Captain John Miller and his regiment as they embark on a journey to locate Private James Ryan, whose three brothers have been killed in combat.

This movie will stick with you after the screen fades to black and the end credits roll. And Hanks’ ability to capture Captain John Miller’s sincerity and valiantness with so much authenticity was nothing short of spectacular. But that’s not the only reason why it deserves a spot on everyone’s watch list. While it’s certainly not an easy watch, this film tells an impactful yet inspiring story about resilience, loss, and the disastrous conditions of war. Not to mention, it has an impressive 8.6/10 rating on IMDb and 94 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. Need I say more?

8. ​Catch Me If You Can

DreamWorks

What do you get when you put Tom Hanks and Leonardo DiCaprio in a crime-action comedy? Catch Me If You Can, that’s what! Serving as a live adaptation of Frank Abagnale Jr.’s autobiographical book of the same name, Catch Me If You Can revolves around the young conman, who becomes the most successful bank robber in the history of the U.S. before the age of 19.

Frank has done it all: he’s worked as a doctor, a lawyer, and as a co-pilot for a major airline. In a cunning game of cat and mouse, FBI Agent Carl Hanratty (played by Hanks) tries to bring Frank to justice, only for Frank to be one step ahead. It garnered an 8.1/10 rating on IMDb and a 96 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. And don’t even get me started on Hanks and DiCaprio being the ultimate on-screen duo.

9. ​Apollo 13

Universal Pictures

“Houston, we have a problem!” If you heard this iconic phrase before, I bet you didn’t know that it came from the 1995 docu-drama Apollo 13. Aside from its stellar ensemble cast, the film was also praised for its accurate retelling of the Apollo 13 lunar mission.

The year is 1970. A crew of three astronauts boarded a NASA spacecraft in hopes of landing on the moon. When an oxygen tank explodes during their mission, the crew must find a way to survive and make it safely back to Earth. Not only is it regarded as one of the best movies of all time, but it also received praise from critics, earning a 7.7/10 rating on IMDb and a 96 percent on Rotten Tomatoes.

10. Splash

Buena Vista Pictures

Last but not least: Splash. Sure, the plot may be a bit cheesy. But it has everything that makes an '80s rom-com great. Strong chemistry? Check. Quirky humor? Oh, there’s a lot of that! Splash follows a man who's reunited with a mermaid that saved him from drowning 20 years ago.

Now, as an adult, he falls in love with the mermaid after she ventures onto dry land to find him. However, their perfect love story is cut short when a scheming scientist tries to expose her secret to the world. Now, I know what you’re thinking: This movie has a 6.3/10 rating on IMDb and it somehow received a 95 percent on Rotten Tomatoes (with an audience rating of 65 percent.) But Splash is an overall good time. If you’re looking for a chuckle or two, you’ll get it with Splash. (And can I just say that Tom Hanks is so charming and funny in this film?!)

What’s your favorite Tom Hanks movie? Did we miss one on the list? If so, let us know in the comments and read up on the 10 Cringy 90s Movies That Would Never Be Made Today for more!

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4 Expert Tips For How To Treat Hormonal Acne — & Fast

I don't know whether to treat my period acne as guests or annoying pests. I'm familiar with balancing my hormones, but even that seems to be a great mystery when painful breakouts appear on my forehead or chin. Even relying on a face wash fromFarmacy Beautyisn't always a match for their stubbornness.

But esthetician Danielle Gronich wants to dispel the idea hormonal acne's impossible to treat. Plus, she's exposing the truth about ingredients that could be causing flareups 👀. Known as The Acne Guru, Gronich has over 10 years of experience treating cystic acne, and is the founder of both the San Diego Acne ClinicCLEARSTEM Skincare.

Ready for our acne to be in great hands?

Scroll to learn The Acne Guru's top 4 tips for treating stubborn hormonal breakouts

What's the biggest myth about hormonal acne?

Taylor Nicole/Dupe Photos

I love relying on TikTok to find cute matcha drink recipes to remake, but I know some of the skincare advice shared on the app shouldn't be followed. But there's one thing in particular Gronich isn't a fan of.

"The biggest myth about hormonal acne is that you have to be on birth control in order to solve it. This myth is all over social media, but I believe it comes from the medical world not really understanding hormones and having to rely on prescriptions to override them."

Would you believe me if I told you she's not wrong? I've been on birth control off and on since I was teenager, but I've yet to see it get to the root of my acne problem!

What are different types of hormonal acne?

Anna Nekrashevich/Pexels

Did you know not all hormonal acne stems directly from your period? According to Gronich, "there are many different triggers" for it with "the most common ones being stress and high sugar or processed foods" because they "impact our hormones." However, that's not all!

"Also extremely common is PCOS, estrogen dominance, progestin-related acne from certain birth control controls like the hormonal IUD, and then there is another type of hormonal acne caused by the vitamins and supplements we take," she adds. Going a step further, Gronich says "certain vitamins and supplements can spike testosterone or interfere with other enzyme processes that throw off our hormones."

I guess this is why my doctor always recommends I consult with her before taking random tablets so I'm not disrupting anything in my body!

Why do I see breakouts on my forehead, cheeks, or chin sometimes?

Polina Tankilevitch/Pexels

Remember the face mapping tool we were introduced to years ago? There's truth to them which is why Gronich created a Pore-Clogging Ingredient Checker for you to get more insight about what you're putting on your skin. But back to what your breakouts are trying to tell you!

Given Gronich's experience, she knows "different areas of the face can represent different parts of the body." She sees "hormonal acne most on the chin and jawline" because "we have the deepest hair follicles there." Want to know what this means for our body's reaction to certain foods and products?

"Dairy has insulin-like growth factor hormone so many people who consume dairy regularly get hormonal acne right on their chin. Some people are taking too much vitamin B 12 which throws off their hormones and you see it on the jawline," she says.

Then there's our relationship with using a ton of beauty products. Gronich is firm about telling "people to remove pore-ingredients from their skin care ad makeup" because "acne that's all over your face" is the direct result of "something that's being put all over your face." Not being aware of what we're using "will flare with our PMS cycle, so we accidentally think it's hormonal," accodring to her. But nope!

"...it can also just be caused by those hidden pore-clogging ingredients," she states.

Okay, how do I treat what feels like hormonal acne?

Yan Krukau/Pexels

No matter your skin type, there's a few ingredients you can use to treat hormonal acne over time. "People can treat their hormonal acne with mandelic acid, and spot treatments like sulfur," Gronich shares. She also says, "Benzoyl peroxide can be a useful tool as well but must be used carefully so as not to over strip the skin. Don't take this advice lightly because I accidentally created more issues when I used this haphazardly.

If you don't want to use Benzoyl peroxide, she says you try "ice rolling." The amount of times you can use this tool depends on your skin type. "...if you are oily, you can use these treatments every day."

How do I treat dark spots left over from hormonal acne

Ron Lach/Pexels

Gronich's tips for treating dark spots are making me rethink my shower habits because I've been doing the opposite of what's considered helpful for my skin. She says, "Avoid using hot water in the shower as it continually inflames the skin and further damages the delicate scar tissue!" Furthermore, you can "use anti-inflammatory products," according to her.

"Serums that contain hyaluronic acid can be very helpful, as well as gentle massaging to activate circulation which stimulates our wound healing response in the skin. Red light therapy can also be fantastic for scarring, along with professional micro needling treatments," she remarks.

The best things you and I can do are being mindful of what we eat, supplements we take, and what we put on our faces. Also, a lot of patience goes a long way when treating hormonal acne.

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