Reach Your 2024 Fitness Goals With These Pro Tips

Are there really assigned roles in friend groups or am I just imagining things?

Like I said before, it can seem like you and your friends unintentionally gravitate toward certain 'roles.' It's not like anyone woke up one day and decided, "I'm going to be the 'mother hen' of the group," but it tends to happen. Why?

Paruolo says, "In my clinical work, I've consistently observed that our friendship roles often mirror our early family dynamics. These patterns show up naturally — think about who in your friend group gets the first crisis call, who plans all the gatherings, or who everyone turns to for emotional support." I'm willing to bet you thought of a name for each scenario — including yours — because I know I did!

"Like in families, we each fall into specific roles that feel familiar to us," Paruolo further explains.

What actually makes someone an empathetic person?

There's so many definitions for empathy, but I thought it would be wise to ask a licensed professional for her opinion on the matter. "Empathy means to feel what others are feeling. You do not have to have a personal direct experience with something to feel empathy for another person," shares Paruolo.

For example, your friend could call to tell you she has to have fibroid removal surgery and is feeling scared. You may have never had surgery, but you could find yourself feeling the need to comfort her in spite of this. Paruolo says, "The cool thing about our brains is that we have mirror neurons, which means part of our brain is set up to feel what others feel. The ability to attune to others' emotional states comes naturally to some people, while others may need to develop this capacity more consciously."

To break it down even further, here's signs that Paruolo says point to your empathetic nature.

Physical Signs:

• Getting physically exhausted after being in crowds
• Feeling drained after social interactions, even enjoyable ones (OMG I feel so seen!)
• Needing extra time alone to recharge

Emotional Signs:

• Absorbing other people's emotions like a sponge
• Feeling anxious or overwhelmed in emotionally charged environments
• Finding it hard to watch violence or cruelty in movies/TV

Social Signs:

• Feeling responsible for others' happiness
• Having trouble saying "no" to people who need help

Mental Signs:

• Picking up on subtle changes in others' moods
• Being highly attuned to body language and tone
• Finding it hard to distinguish your feelings from others' feelings

It sounds like I'm the empathetic friend, but are there any downsides to this?

I've been an empath for as long as I can remember and I've found that I have to 'recharge' my social batteries at times. I thought it was because I was trying to be superwoman by fixing others' problems, but it turns out theres more to it than that. Paruolo says, "Empathetic friends and people have an uncanny ability to sense others' emotional states even when unspoken, and frequently need recovery time after intense social interactions. They tend to be deeply affected by others' experiences and naturally consider situations from multiple perspectives."

In the long run, she says it can be "distressing" for some people to always feel the feelings of others. Over time, she says, "it can cause you to shut down and retract." This can look like not being as quick to respond to the funny memes your friends send you or not even answering their phone calls right away.

But, this doesn't mean you're the only person who tends to go through this. "Many empaths struggle with maintaining boundaries due to their deep emotional attunement," she says. Color me guilty because this sounds so much like me. It got so bad at one point that my sister nicknamed me 'Captain Save-A-Lot,' which is actually the clean version of what she truly meant. Still, empathy fatigue is no laughing matter nor does it mean you're defected. You just have the natural ability to show people their feelings are important to you.

How can I protect my peace as the empathetic friend?

You know you need to set boundaries, but what does that mean? Paruolo says, "The key is understanding that empathy needs to be balanced with compassion - it's not just about feeling others' emotions but also knowing how to help without depleting yourself."

One of the things she loves to do is "encourage empaths to set clear boundaries around their emotional availability and make time for regular grounding exercises." As with gratitude journaling, try to focus on an activity that calls for you to be present. Focus on what you can hear, see, touch, taste, and smell.

"Self-care isn't just a luxury; it's essential maintenance for empaths. This might mean scheduling alone time, finding a supportive therapist, or joining communities where you can process your experiences," Paruolo implores.

I know how to be there for others, but how do I ask for emotional support when I need it?

You may feel like it's impossible to ask others for help since your shoulders are the ones people cry on, but you're only doing yourself a disservice by not speaking up. No one's super resilient or able to handle all of their distressing feelings alone. We're not meant to.

It's the reason Paruolo wants you to speak up about what you need. "The most effective approach I've seen is being direct about your needs rather than hoping others will figure them out," she says. I made this mistake during postpartum and found myself expecting my family & friends to know exactly how I felt, but they're not mind readers. The more I verbally asked for help with little or big tasks, the more my mental and emotional load lightened.

Paruolo wants you to look at "asking for support as strengthening your friendships through trust and vulnerability, instead of waiting until you're overwhelmed." By the time you reach that point, you'll be ready to enter rage or full-blown shut down mode and they're not fun.

Avoid unlocking their proverbial doors by scheduling "regular check-ins with trusted friends," suggests Paruolo. "This creates a sustainable support system and helps prevent emotional crisis points.

A Gratitude Journaling Idea For When You're Worried About The Future

Write Down 5 Things You're Grateful You Can See, Touch, Hear, And Smell

This is actually a practice I picked up in therapy to help redirect my anxious thoughts. It's something I often refer to when I'm fixated on the future and things that might happen. Any time you feel yourself not being present because you're worried about what's next, focus on things that are immediately in front of you or around you.

For example, here's what's reminding me to be present:

• I can hear one of my favorite gospel songs playing and the subtle humming I'm doing.
• I can see two lime green books on my desk.
• I can smell the clean laundry my fiancé took out of the dryer.
• I'm touching the keys on my keyboard as I type this.

Gratitude Journaling Idea For When You're Experiencing Sadness

Write Down 3 Things You're Grateful For Today

Practicing gratitude when you're sad isn't so you can pretend the sadness doesn't exist. It's a very real emotion that calls for us to be curious about why we're feeling that way. However, if you feel like you're 'stuck' in your sadness, you can try writing down 3 things you're grateful for right now. Again, they don't have to be grandiose. They just have to make sense to you.

You could be grateful for:

• Eating a delicious meal
• Having a good night's sleep
• Hearing your favorite song at the right moment
• Morning snuggles with your pet or toddler
• Having access to binge watch your favorite TV show when you need to escape reality for a bit

Write Down The People You're Grateful You Can Rely On

My hope is that everyone has at least one person they can rely on during difficult moments in life. I know everyone doesn't have huge villages for different reasons, but I'd rather focus on who is there.

This gratitude journaling idea doesn't require you to go in depth about why you're grateful for the people in your corner unless you want to. You can simply write their names down if that's all you have the bandwidth for.

Recount A Memory That Always Makes You Smile

When in doubt, think about a moment that was hilarious or filled you with joy. It can be from your childhood, first year in college, or even your wedding day! The one memory that always makes me smile is from an interesting moment I told one of my uncles he looked like Santa Claus. I was around 5 or 6 years old, so it was a super innocent comment, but still it was hilarious nonetheless. No one in my family has let my uncle or me forget that moment. It's small, but it's one of the memories I'm grateful I can remember when I'm feeling sad.

A Gratitude Journaling Idea For When You Feel You're Not Doing Enough

Write Down 1 Thing You've Grateful You've Accomplished

I know some journal prompts ask you to list multiple things you've recently accomplished, but I've found that makes me a little more anxious that necessary. If this sounds like you, I see you and think it's just as impactful to be grateful for one thing you've done that you're proud of. It could be as simple as:

• "I had the strength to get out of bed today after wanting to do nothing more than hide under the covers."
• "I did laundry and put everything away."
• "I made myself a meal instead of ordering lunch like I usually do."
• "I stuck to my budget this week."
• "My presentation at work or school went really well."
• "I made that scary phone call I've been putting off."
• "I went for a walk around my neighborhood or local park."

The best dress for girls who love a classic fall moment:

Ann Taylor Crew Neck Knit Dress

Classic fall outfits are always going to get us through the cooler season because they're effortless, like this striped knit dress. Using it as a base, you can add a lightweight trench coat for rainy days or a wool number when you need extra warmth. Next up, step into a pair of knee high boots and voilá! You'll have a low-fuss outfit that still looks chic.

The best dress for anyone who's tired of boring sweaters:

By Anthropologie Tulle Twofer Mini Dress

I've already added this dress to my wishlist because it's so pretty. I love anything that looks super feminine or frilly so this is one of those petite dresses I could wear every week if I had the chance. If you're on the hunt for anything that puts your other sweater dresses to shame, I highly recommend you buy this tulle mini dress!

For the girl who loves wearing colorful outfits:

Boden Ribbed Metallic Dress

The edit team at Brit + Co loves colorful pieces, which is why this metallic dress is beckoning to me. Besides the shimmery flecks, the expertly placed shades of hunter green, bubblegum pink, marigold, magenta, maroon, and cerulean blue are gorgeous.

I imagine this is something Ms. Frizzle would wear if she were in the modern world, and I mean that in the best way ever.

The best dress for the girl who loves a fun party moment:

Maeve Tweed Fit & Flare Mini Dress

This is the ultimate party dress for the girl who needs the perfect choice for the holidays. It's giving modern brocade and I'm 100 percent ready for it to appear in my closet. Even if I can't get my hands on it, I sincerely hope you can because you'd look stunning in it.

Just look at the fit & flare fit. It's known for being one of the most flattering designs for all body types and it happens to make us petite girls look like we're floating from one room to the next.

For anyone who knows animal print and fall belong together: 

Miss Selfridge Animal Print Dress

To you, animal print during fall is like wearing florals during spring; you have to have it. I don't blame you because it's basically a neutral print that you can build several outfits around. This dress has a little bit of leopard and cheetah print mixed together for something that feels fresher than what we've seen, meaning it could very well work in your favor.

MANGO Leopard Print Dress

But if you don't care about mixing animal prints, stick with the tried and true leopard pattern us millennials love so much. You seriously can't go wrong, considering this dress happens to get the pattern and color just right (meaning it doesn't look cartoonish). Plus, it's begging you to throw a denim or trench coat over your shoulders.

The best plus size dress for the girl who loves flared hemlines:

Lane Bryant Shimmer Shirred Dress

I'm a firm believer that petite styles aren't reserved for one body type so I couldn't wait to share this cute dress with you! It has that familiar fit & flare fit I mentioned earlier, plus there's a bit of shimmer if you need something that feels holiday-friendly.

Petite LC Lauren Conrad Swing Dress

Let's keep the party going with this all-over sequin dress from Lauren Conrad's collection at Kohl's. This simple swing dress can be paired with black tights and heels that feature a diamante moment.

PrettyLittleThing Bandeau Structured Velvet Dress

Want a petite dress that feels a little more structured? Check out this cute velvet dress! It's designed to cinch your waist while flaring out your hips to create something that doesn't feel like you're reliving that one dress you used to wear to the club.

For the girl who doesn't care about petite 'rules':

The Somerset Maxi Dress

Maxi dresses can be a hit or miss for petite girls, but this dress works exceptionally well. It'll stop right before your ankles instead of dragging the floor, giving you one of the best fall dresses you'll own. I'm biased because I think everyone should have at least one black maxi dress in their closet that's not ribbed or fitted. Though those options serve their purpose, especially on cozy days, I think flared or flowing dresses have an appeal that complements fall.