6 Expert Tips for Hosting an Adult AF Dinner Party

Mac + Cheese Donuts

Nothing helps warm you up in wintry weather like comfort food, especially cheesy macaroni. For party season, put it in handheld form with our donut-shaped recipe. (via Brit + Co)

Breakfast Sandwiches

If you're having a breakfast or brunch party (coffee! pastries! pj's!), then definitely add these mini sandwiches to the menu. They're savory, sweet, and literally so delicious. (via Brit + Co)

Easy Christmas Cookies

Every party needs some sweets, and these Christmas cookies are as festive as they come. They look amazing, and they're actually super easy to put together, which makes us love them even more. (via Brit + Co)

Butter Candles

Upgrade your usual bread and butter spread with this TikTok food trend that will leave your guests in awe. Make a savory butter candle, a sweet one, or one of each! (via Brit + Co)

Red Velvet Cheesecake

This cheesecake will taste amazing no matter how you serve it. Grab some festive plates or make a variety of tiny cheesecakes with a muffin tin. (via Brit + Co)

Chocolate-Pecan Treat

This dessert doesn't just have to be for Thanksgiving. The sweet flavors definitely work all winter long, but we wouldn't say no to some candy cane pieces on top ;). (via Brit + Co)

Sweet Chai Latte Cupcakes

If we're honest, anything that's reminiscent of our favorite winter drinks is a Christmas party food in our books. Chai spice mix *and* a bag of chai tea really bring out the flavors of this recipe. (via Brit + Co)

Cheesy Crushed Potatoes

This recipe from Rachael Ray can be served with pork chops or on their own as a Christmas party food. Baking your Yukon potatoes and then smashing 'em with a glass creates an elevated look without any extra effort. (via Brit + Co)

Slow Cooker French Onion Soup

Dish out these soups in tiny bowls to make them crowd-friendly. Don't forget a piece of bread for each bowl too! And cheese...you definitely don't want to forget the cheese. (via Brit + Co)

Everyone Will Want To Try These Christmas Party Foods

Ranch Pretzel Bites

Take your favorite sourdough pretzels and bake them in a tangy ranch coating for this delicious crowd-pleaser. Pretzel bites are a party staple any day of the year, but the seasoning makes these a special occasion all their own. (via Sweet Cayenne)

Christmas Tree Pull-Apart Bread With Marinara Dipping Sauce

This pull-apart bread is savory, not sweet — each little ball of dough is stuffed with cheese. It’s like biting into little heavenly pillows of doughy goodness. (via Eclectic Everyday)

Snowman Cheese Ball

Instead of a corn-cob pipe and a button nose, this snowman has a carrot nose and peppercorn buttons! He'll pairs well with your favorite crackers or chips. (via Number 2 Pencil)

Toasted Ravioli

Crispy and crunchy on the outside and meaty and tender on the inside, toasted ravioli is basically faux-fried food at its finest. (via Small Town Woman)

Reindeer Chow

Ever wonder what Santa feeds Rudolph? Look no further than this festive take on "muddy buddies." (via Averie Cooks)

Shrimp Dip

A cheesy seafood favorite for parties, this dip is simple to make with just a few ingredients. Pair it with thick sourdough bread and enjoy! (via Food Lovin' Family)

Cheesy Vegan Mashed Potato Pancakes

Now this is how to repurpose leftover mashed potatoes for the party season. They go especially well with some sliced avocado or cashew cream. (via Connoisseurus Veg)

Pomegranate Honey Ricotta Toast

So, toast may be a bit of an undertaking for party noshing, but your guests will be wowed by this sweetly delicate combination. It's cheesy, it's rich, it's fluffy — the end. (via Joyful Healthy Eats)

Lasagna Zucchini Boats

This appetizer has all the delicious flavors of veggie lasagna, but you can serve them up without utensils. Finger foods for the win! (via Cooking Classy)

You Don't Want To Miss These Christmas Party Recipes

Deep Fried Macaroni and Cheese

A classic take on deep-fried snacks, these macaroni and cheese balls are breaded, warm, and gooey. Those are all the best parts of a party food if you ask us. (via Girl Carnivore)

French Onion Smashed Potato Bites

If you're wondering what the difference is between a smashed potato and a mashed one, you're not alone. These gently squished baby potatoes serve as a base for all that melty cheesy and caramelized onion. (via Give It Some Thyme)

Cranberry & Brie Bites

These little phyllo bites could not be easier to make. But better prepare a double batch, because your peeps are going to make like starved animals the minute you pop these out of the oven. (via Kitchen Sanctuary)

Baked Brie en Croute

Cheese is such a crowd-pleaser, and even better when the cheese is pungent melted brie. (via Olivia’s Cuisine)

Bacon & Cheese Potato Croquettes

There’s something magical that happens when yummy mashed potato batter meets crispy bacon and sharp mature cheddar. Bet you’re salivating just thinking about it... (via Simply Delicious)

Roasted Butternut Squash Flatbread with Goat Cheese

Nothing shares better at a party than a flatbread. This one is your one-slice-pleases-all for winter flavors your guests will love. (via Give It Some Thyme)

Latke Sliders

Latkes? Check. Endless filling combinations for every night of Hanukkah and then some? Check. A holiday recipe that's sure to have something for everyone? Check check check! (via Jamie Geller)

Gingerbread Cupcakes with Cinnamon Browned Butter Buttercream

Cute gingerbread Christmas cupcakes are an absolute must at your party! The warmth of each bite will fill your guests with delight. (via Half Baked Harvest)

Citrus Spice Glazed Ham

A fun and festive Christmas party calls for a delicious ham — kudos if it has a citrus spice glaze drizzled over it. (via Completely Delicious)

These Christmas Party Food Ideas Will Be A Hit!

Southern Smothered Chicken

Smothered chicken is one of the South's staples, but we know this recipe will be a hit no matter where you throw your Christmas party. (via Pink Owl Kitchen)

One Pot Sausage Pasta

Don't discount the wonderful way that pasta can be a part of your meal spread. It's a one-pot dinner recipe you'll reach for well after the holidays. (via Two Peas & Their Pod)

Sea Salt Chocolate Fudge

Biting into sea salt chocolate fudge on Christmas sounds like sheer heaven. (via The Bossy Kitchen)

What are the best foods to bring to a potluck?

​The best foods to bring to a potluck are easy-to-make dishes and finger foods like cheese dip, corn on the cob, casseroles, guacamole, slow cooker mac and cheese, potato salad, caprese, charcuterie boards, jalapeño poppers, sliders, pinwheels, and pasta salad. Your potluck dish should be ready to eat when you arrive to the function. Attendees should be able to eat the treat you brought straight off a plate, so soups and stews aren't recommended. We have all the fuss-free recipes you need to prepare for a potluck!

What can I bring to a potluck without cooking?

Store-bought chips and dip, sweet tea, bread rolls, ice cream, fruit salad, charcuterie cheeses and meats, and veggie trays are all fantastic options to bring to a potluck. No cooking necessary! If you're not going the food route for your upcoming potluck, volunteer to bring napkins, cups, utensils, and paper towels. The potluck host will thank you!

What to bring to a potluck last minute?

Easy, quick snacks that you can make without needing to heat up anything are your best bet for last-minute potluck prep. Dips, guacamole, lettuce wraps, salsa, salad, and no-bake finger foods are all great options.

What snacks do you bring to a potluck?

Potato chips, pigs in a blanket, fruit kebabs, hummus and pita bread, roll-ups, bruschetta, cookies, brownie bites, deviled eggs, and potato skins are stellar snacks to bring to a potluck. You want to pick up snacks that are easy to eat and easy to clean up, too.

Pastitsio

This baked pasta dish hails from Greece, and it has a tomato-meat-bechamel filling for a cozy, hearty dish. (via Brit + Co)

Butter Board

If this TikTok trend isn't for serving a crowd, we don't know what is. Smear butter on a small cutting board, then have fun decorating your snack with everything from seasonings to hot honey. (via Brit + Co)

Spinach Dip

Trust us, everyone's gonna be shoveling this creamy, leafy dip once you set it out. Spinach dip is always a good potluck idea! (via Brit + Co)

Easy Potluck Idea for Green Goddess Salad

This salad is so easy that you'll be able to fix enough for your guests without a hitch. The cheesy, garlicky, citrus dressing tastes just as good as it sounds, and the *crunch* this salad delivers is out of this world. (via Brit + Co)

Rainbow Bread

Okay – we already love bread, but rainbow bread? We will never pass up the opportunity to make this colorful recipe. We're pretty sure that your friends will agree, especially if there are children involved. (via Brit + Co)

Instant Pot Chicken Pasta

Our tummies are always grumbling for pasta, and this hearty potluck recipe has got to be the best use of the carb. The thing that truly makes this a genius potluck idea is that you can transport it from place to place without taking it out of the Instant Pot. (via Brit + Co)

Citrus Rosé Sangria Recipe

Sangria is a great cocktail for cookouts and potlucks alike, because it's super easy to make in large batches. This recipe boasts all your favorite summer citrus fruits, forming a refreshing sip. (via Brit + Co)

Tomato Basil Orzo

This orzo recipe from Half Baked Harvest is served cold, which means you can make it ahead of time and just keep it in the fridge until you're ready to leave. This is the ultimate easy potluck dish! (via Brit + Co)

Hummus

Once you make this gorgeous and easy hummus recipe for your potluck, you can serve it with an array of colorful veggies, chips, and other dippers that bring the snack table to life. (via Brit + Co)

Dirty Soda

Okay, this one might not seem like your average potluck recipe, but considering all you need is soda and coffee creamer to make it, it's hard to ignore. We love this potluck-friendly drink. If you like cream soda, we're sure you'll love it too! (via Brit + Co)

Gluten-Free Baked Avocado “Fries”

We love French fries. We love avocados. This potluck idea is a match made in heaven. (via Brit + Co)

Easy Potluck Idea for Crock Pot Corn On The Cob

Need to cook 20 cobs of corn for the potluck, but don't have a ton of time? Throw them in your crock pot and let them marinate in a homemade garlic butter sauce for an easy side dish that comes together without too much effort. (via Brit + Co)

Cauliflower Rice Keto Casserole

If your potluck ends up being on a rainy, chilly day (i.e. you'd rather be curled up with a book than outdoors), consider a veggie-packed casserole that will warm everyone up. This healthy recipe features chicken, veggies, and plenty of cheese. (via Brit + Co)

Al Pastor Tacos

Tacos in all forms are a glorious ode to the potluck, but this pineapple al pastor version truly lives rent-free in our heads. This recipe yields a deliciously juicy taco filling that you can totally prep in-advance for your next function. (via Brit + Co)

Spaghetti Aglio e Olio

You will always have something to eat (and share for a potluck) when you bust out this pasta recipe. It's made of all pantry staples: spaghetti, olive oil, garlic, anchovies, red peppers, and whatever herbs you have. (via Where Cooking Begins / Brit + Co)

Spicy Sriracha Dip

Dip is the *easiest* potluck snack ever. Whip up this spicy one and load up the plate with veggies, chips, crackers, or whatever you like to dunk! (via Brit + Co)

Charcuterie Board

This is the perfect large group appetizer, especially if that group is comprised of all your gal pals. There's nothing better than a board slathered with gourmet meats, cheeses, and the best finger foods around. Let's get to snacking! (via Brit + Co)

Elote Pasta Salad

If you can't get enough of this Mexican dish, try it in pasta form! It still has all the delicious ingredients found in authentic elote, just deconstructed with some pasta added in. Considering we'll eat nearly anything if there are noodles involved, this sounds good to us! (via Brit + Co)

DIY Slow Cooker Mac and Cheese

Among many upsides, slow cookers are also great for making our favorite dish: mac and cheese. It's easy, tasty, reliable, and you'll have a *ton* of macaroni and cheese when you're done. Who wouldn't want that? (via Brit + Co)

Buffalo Chicken Sliders

These little buffalo sliders are a cinch to make. The secret (and time-saving) ingredient? Rotisserie chicken! (via Brit + Co)

Mini Baked Potatoes

While these little spuds might take a bit longer than most recipes on this list, they are totally worth it. Both you and your guests will be happy you took the extra time when you taste the robust flavors. (via Brit + Co)

Spring Salad Recipe

This salad might have "spring" in the title, but don't be fooled: the ingredients will still taste amazing in the summer, fall, and winter. (via Brit + Co)

Southern Biscuits

There's truly no better potluck idea than slathering succulent biscuits with hearty, flavorful chicken and dipping them in some dang good dipping sauces. With this potluck-ready recipe, you can have all of that, and more. (via Brit + Co)

Layered Fruit “Cake”

Stack rings of watermelon and cantelope, then fill with a sweet yogurt, whipped cream filling for a healthy and refreshing potluck dessert. (via Brit + Co)

Carrot Hot Dogs

Whip up a bunch of these plant-based babies before your BBQ potluck, and just bring all your favorite hot dog toppings in various Tupperware. Assemble, dig in, repeat. (via Brit + Co)

DIY Cheese Crisps

Swap your potato chips for these crunchy crisps made out of shredded cheese. The jalapeños in the center add an extra kick, but you can remove the seeds to take some of the spice out! (via Brit + Co)

Keto Chicken Salad Lettuce Wraps

You can just grab one head of lettuce at the grocery store, and you'll have enough wraps to feed your whole potluck! Leave out the cheese and walnuts if you prefer plain chicken salad, but we'd recommend at least trying the toppings out. (via Brit + Co)

Sheet Pan Shrimp Fajitas

A combo of lime juice, garlic, salt, and spices transforms plain shrimp into a tasty dish that you will not want to miss. Pair the shrimp with your favorite peppers, and you have a dinner you'll want to make over and over (and over) again. (via Brit + Co)

Slow Cooker Beef Brisket

Whether you're having sandwiches, tacos, or you're just digging into this beef brisket with a fork, every meat lover at your get-together will love this slow cooker recipe. (via Brit + Co)

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cake

Chocolate + peanut butter = pure heaven. Whip up this no-bake cake in no time for your next potluck dessert. (via Brit + Co)

Easy Toum Lebanese Garlic Dip

This dip goes with just about everything you could think of. Veggies and chicken are the best dipping foods to pair with it, but Gladys recommends dipping French fries in the garlicky dip! Our favorite part of this recipe might just be the fact you don't need a food processor to make it. (via Forks and Foliage)

Bacon Guacamole Potluck Idea

Arriving with chips and guac in hand always ensures your popularity among the potluck party. The fact that this guacamole is chock-full of bacon means you'll be a whole celebrity. (via The Recipe Critic)

Cucumber Bites

This snack is cost effective, since two cucumbers will yield almost 30 of these tasty bite-sized treats. Prep these cucumber bites for your next potluck, or an easy and healthy recipe. (via Joe's Healthy Meals)

Fresh Mango Salsa

Homemade salsa always tastes so much better than the stuff you can get off the shelves. This simple, colorful mango salsa is sure to be a hit come Taco Tuesday. (via Cookie and Kate)

Gluten-Free Flatbread Pizzas

Gluten-free guests will be elated when they see there's something at the potluck they can actually eat. The toppings on this flatbread are so delicious that even if you're not gluten-free, you'll love how the rich flavors come together. (via The Real Food Dietitians)

Creamy Pea Salad With Bacon

It's a lot easier to load up on green veggies when they're paired with crispy bacon and an ultra-creamy sauce. Don't skimp on the red onions — they really liven up the whole dish. (via The Recipe Critic)

Grilled Mexican Corn (Elote)

Plain corn on the cob is such a classic potluck staple, but it's even better than usual when smothered in mayo, crema, cotija cheese, chili powder, and a spritz of lime juice – elote style. (via Averie Cooks)

Summer Farro Salad

The granola guests will appreciate that you brought this healthy offering to the potluck. This colorful salad recipe features plenty of veggies, fruit, and whole grains. (via Two Peas & Their Pod)

Mediterranean Pasta Salad

Pack your pasta salad with savory ingredients like olives, feta cheese, salami, and sun-dried tomatoes to craft a Mediterranean-inspired dish. Toss it all with kale and chopped cucumber for a nice hit of freshness. (via The Recipe Critic)

Curried Brown Rice Veggie Salad Potluck Dish

Cater to the vegetarians at the potluck by serving a hearty rice salad, made with plenty of veggies for fiber and nuts and edamame for protein. (via Letty's Kitchen)

Easy Potluck Idea for Instant Pot Loaded Baked Potato Salad

The instant pot makes cooking big-batch recipes lickety-split. Steam potatoes in record time, then add in all your favorite toppings to make an easy dish. (via Wondermom Wannabe)

Caprese Pasta Salad with Garlic Marinated Tomatoes

Shake up your usual pasta salad routine by swapping macaroni for spaghetti. Fresh tomatoes, capers, and bocconcini (tiny balls of mozzarella) round out this easy potluck dish. (via Foodiecrush)

Crispy Roasted Cauliflower Hummus

Make this hummus as a side dish or appetizer, and then bring everything you could possibly want to dip: crackers, carrots, peppers, and celery. The sky's the limit! (via Half Baked Harvest)

Raspberry Iced Tea

Iced tea is a summer staple as far as we're concerned, and this raspberry iced tea is going to make even the most dedicated soda fan want a glass. Your potluck friends won't be able to get enough! (via Feel Good Foodie)

Healthy Strawberry Pineapple Sherbet

This no-churn sorbet recipe only takes five minutes to make, which means it's the perfect last-minute potluck recipe for when you're crunched for time. Frozen strawberries and pineapple will give it that ice cream consistency! (via A Spicy Perspective)

Mexican Tortilla Roll Ups

Pinwheels are some of the best finger foods around because they're great for people who love every kind of food, and they generally contain ingredients that appeal to picky eaters. Plus, they're very affordable to make. (via Culinary Hill)

Soft Pretzel Bites with Mustard Cheese Dip

Soft pretzels and cheese dip are a classic combo for movie nights and potlucks alike. The real star of this recipe is the mustard cheese dip, which is comprised of cheddar, dijon mustard, and cayenne pepper. (via Barley & Sage)

Easy Potluck Idea for Jalapeño Poppers

We're huge fans of spicy food, and jalapeño poppers are one of our favorite potluck apps. The cheese evens out the spice from the pepper. Plus, this version has bacon. (via Salt & Lavender)

Asian Grilled Flank Steak

What we love about serving rare, grilled flank steak at a party is that it's finger-lickin'-good, hot or cold. Serve with lettuce leaves and marinated cucumbers so guests can make their own steak wraps. (via The Recipe Critic)

Ham and Cheese Croissant Sliders

Balance out all those frilly salads at the potluck by serving a tray of ooey, gooey croissant sliders. Stuff them with ham and cheese, then brush with butter, top with poppy seeds, and bake until warm. We're salivating already. (via Crazy For Crust)

Montreal Steak and Pepper Kebabs Potluck Idea

Even inexpensive steak gets tenderized and flavorful, thanks to a zippy Montreal steak seasoning blend made with red wine vinegar. Stack your delicious steak cuts on a skewer among grilled veggies for a hearty potluck snack. (via Foodiecrush)

Blueberry Hand Pies

Blueberry hand pies are sturdy enough to remain intact even after a ride in the car. Use canned blueberry pie filling and store-bought pie crust for this potluck dessert if you're really pressed for time. (via Leite's Culinaria)

Easy Potluck Idea for Crustless Fresh Strawberry Pie

Embrace the flavors of summer with a crustless strawberry pie that puts the best fruit front and center. (via Averie Cooks)

Loaded M&M Oreo Cookie Bars

Even if you don't keep M&M's and Oreos in your pantry, you can easily sub them out with your favorite candy bars for an equally scrumptious dessert. While you're picking up the candy for this recipe, buy a box of cookie mix to prep everything if you're really crunched on time. We won't tell. (via Averie Cooks)

No-Bake Nutella Pie

Feed dessert to a crowd without even turning on your oven with this easy recipe for fluffy, mousse-like, no-bake pie. (via Spicy Southern Kitchen)

Potluck Recipe for Apple Nachos

Melted peanut butter over apples is a tasty, but healthy snack or dessert. Add cacao nibs and chopped nuts, and you're good to go. Feel free to swap the PB for seed butter if you can't have nuts! (via Trial and Eater)

Black Bean Corn Salsa

Your potluck partygoers will love sinking their teeth into this chunky medley of fresh veggies and black beans! Serve with tortilla chips, or use this salsa to drizzle atop a freshly grilled steak. (via Amanda Wilens)

Vegetarian Mexican Pinwheels

Make these Mexican pinwheels up to a full day in advance, or put them together right before you get to the party. Accommodating vegetarians has never been so easy. (via Sprinkles and Sprouts)

Best-Ever Italian Pasta Salad

This pasta salad is sure to be an exceptional pairing to whatever you've got going on the grill. (via The Girl On Bloor)

Buffalo Chicken Coleslaw

Creamy coleslaw's tastier than ever when it gets a fiery kick from Buffalo sauce. Make this easy coleslaw recipe as a side dish to top sandwiches or meats with! (via Meg's Everyday Indulgence)

Chicken Salad with Cranberries

Chicken salad is a no-fail, always-fresh selection for potluck parties. This one achieves the ultimate balance between sweet and savory with the addition of cranberrries. (via The Fast Recipe)

Southern Style Mac & Cheese

What's a potluck without potluck sides that accentuate the main entrees? Southern Mac & Cheese is a comforting staple that everyone will be doubling back for. (via Pink Owl Kitchen)

Baked Spinach Artichoke Dip with Caramelized Onions

Dips are an essential add to any potluck spread and they're so easy for those of us who lose track of time. This savory take on the classic spinach dip is bound to be a crowd pleaser. (via Whole and Heavenly Oven)

S'mores Snack Mix

Just pour this yummy mix into a bowl and you're all set! (via Kathryn's Kitchen)

1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.

I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.

"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.

As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."

Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.

2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.

While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."

Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.

Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."

3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.

Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?

Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.

You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says

4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.

*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."

Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.

4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.

Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.

Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.

I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."

5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.

Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."

At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.

What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?

First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."

I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.

"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.

Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.

Here are Menon's tips:

• Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
• Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.

I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?

I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.

"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."

Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."

He wants you to consider these things:

• Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
• Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
• Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.