This Artist’s Fun Food-Inspired Drawings Will Brighten Anyone’s Day

If you find yourself doodling fun food illustrations in your notebooks while you should be working, you might be an artist in hiding. Or perhaps you secretly admire Tumblrs with bodega cat illustrations or you’ve been dying to take an illustration class? In this week’s How to Quit Your Day Job series, we chat with Stacy Michelson, a freelance food illustrator who runs a successful Etsy shop featuring cute food-based pins, adorable animal pillows, and pouches for brunch or coffee bucks. Michelson shares how she keeps her creative flame alive while managing her craft business.

Meet the food illustrator Pro: Stacy Michelson

Stacy Michelson grew up in Huntington Beach, CA, and took screenprinting and photography classes at her high school. As an artist, she supported herself by working in restaurants while drawing on the side, until a trip to Japan changed her life. Seeing all the cute and smiley faces on food packaging in Japan, Michelson was inspired to take her love of food and drawing into a new realm. Fast forward to her current career: She sketches, screenprints, and sews in her downtown Los Angeles art studio to make the whimsical products she sells in her Etsy shop. On Saturday mornings, Michelson listens to her local radio station KCRW’s Good Food show and illustrates the episodes. She started tagging the program on Instagram and the producers were so intrigued by her art that they asked her to design a tote bag and blanket as part of their fundraising drive.

Brit + Co: What’s your morning routine?

Stacy Michelson: I don’t exactly have a routine, even though that does sound appealing to me. I think the closest thing I have to one is making time to draw every morning. Sometimes it’s right when I wake up, still in my pajamas with coffee, other times it’s closer to lunch, but always before I start work and checking emails and going to my studio. I either work on my weekly Good Food illustrations or draw in my sketchbook, zoning out for the length of an album, drawing whatever weird characters come out of my brain. Being creative every day is important to me, so I’m not just in running mode of making products, filling orders, and finishing freelance design jobs.

B+C: What inspired you to start your company?

SM: I started my brand as a way to get my art out into the world. A painting or print hangs on a wall and only the people who live there and their friends see it. A t-shirt or pin is seen by everyone you see that day. The design gets to live a more exciting and fuller life. I’ve screenprinted t-shirts since high school and people always loved them. Later, I designed and printed merch for bands I played in and restaurants I worked at. My own line was an obvious next step, and since I knew how to get a design on a product, that made it seem possible. My line of t-shirts turned into making pillows and pouches, and then I realized it was the characters that made people want them, so I could put the characters on more types of products and have a busier business.

B+C: How do you challenge yourself as an entrepreneur?

SM: I like to shake it up and do lots of things under the larger umbrella of artist/designer. STACY MICHELSON the brand is Stacy Michelson the person. Yes, I have a line of products, but I also do freelance jobs and I try and do everything I can with the skills and interests I have. I try to think outside the box of how to market things, like when I made a stop-motion animation and wrote a jingle to sell a coffee pin on Instagram, or push myself as an illustrator by giving myself the assignment to illustrate a weekly podcast I love about food for a whole year, and even working with restaurants and companies to create products for them with my twist of fun. Diversifying my business has been both fun and financially successful for me.

B+C: Tell us about how your family and friends help support your business.

SM: I have an amazing, supportive mom that lives down in Huntington Beach who is always offering to come up to LA and help me with anything I need, from cutting fabric before or after I print it to stuffing and sewing pillows with me. She also usually shows up wearing one of my Sealrus t-shirts when she comes to work and it’s pretty sweet. I also got really lucky in the friends department, because my friend Paul Frank is a genius crafter and builder, besides being a designer himself, and knows the answer to any question I have, and he’s helped me make some ideas come to life for design/craft fairs. And as far as those shows go, I have a group of friends that have given me their weekends to work in my booth year after year and have done a lot of loading in/loading out with me that I could not have done by myself. I always feel bad asking them to help, but I’m glad they at least act like they don’t mind, even if they’re sick of it by now ;)

B+C: What’s the best advice you’ve ever gotten?

SM: Two things come to mind. One is more of a mantra: “Always go buck!” My friend Ed has always told me that about creating, living, doing, and making, so I do. The other is more calculated business advice from my friend Carolyn, who has a stationery line. She once told me, “If a product isn’t selling, cut it from your line, no matter how much you like it.” Learning this has helped me make better decisions about where to put money in my business.

B+C: What do you love about your job?

SM: I love that I create things that make people happy. A coffee cash pouch ($13) isn’t gonna change the world, but it might change your mood when you whip it out to get that much-needed caffeine jolt! If the sassy Cat-Tus pin ($10) on your jacket tells people what you’re about without you having to say a word, that’s awesome! And if that pin turns into a conversation with someone about how you both have the coolest cat ever, then that’s cool and I’m stoked that my art facilitated that connection. I like making cute, fun, quirky things, and I’m glad that there are lots of people out there that want them in their lives. It might not be the thing they need, but I’m glad it’s the thing they want!

B+C: Name two female heroes who you think should get a shout-out.

SM: Oh that’s easy, Martha and Grandma Michelson. Martha, as in Martha Stewart of course, the goddess of all things crafty, entertaining, and desserts. It’s inspiring what she has created and accomplished over the years. I love that she is her brand. I also love that she has this it-has-to-be-perfect image, but then I’d see her on a talk show cracking jokes, eating Taco Bell, and drinking a 40 of Olde English. And Grandma Michelson was just a firecracker and a sweetheart who definitely was living her best life, way before Oprah told people to. I loved that she traveled the world with friends, told dirty jokes, was in a dinner club, had a wallet that said PARTY GIRL in sparkly letters, wore a necklace that spelled out “screw you,” and ate vegan food with my friends and me when everyone thought it was weird. She was always supportive of everything I did and always told me to trust myself because I was a “smart cookie.” I feel like I inherited her zest for life and I couldn’t be more happy about that.

B+C: If you could tell aspiring creative women anything, what would it be?

SM: Go for it, try it, do it, make it, Google it, take a class, ask for help, collaborate, and be yourself. I spent a lot of years being the only girl in a class, a band, in a group, at a meet-up, etc. Maybe I always believed that the kind of artsy things I liked weren’t necessarily feminine or masculine, or maybe I just had great teachers and role models who never treated me differently. All I know is there are so many things I’m really glad I did, even when I looked around and said to myself, “Hmm, it’s all dudes here and me. Weird.”

What’s your dream career? Tweet us @BritandCo to let us know, and we could feature it in the next column!

(Photos of KCRW tote bag and Breakfast Show illustration via Camellia Tse; all other photos via Stacy Michelson)

No matter how much effort we put into relaxing after a long day — whether through meditation, fitness, or a hot bath — sometimes we just don’t have the time or energy to commit to going to the gym or focusing on breath work. Personally, the last thing I want to do when I’m trying to de-stress is stare at a screen. I spend my entire day looking at screens, and my eyes and brain simply can’t handle another pixel. That’s why I opt for screen-free activities like reading, crocheting, or, better yet, coloring before bed to wind down.

Now you may be wondering, does coloring ACTUALLY have a positive impact on your mental health? We spoke to Dr. Caroline Fenkel, a licensed therapist and Chief Clinical Officer at Charlie Health, to getting better understand of just how much the simple act of coloring can actually do to relieve stress.

Are adult coloring books good for mental health?

Lada Balakireva

Coloring offers many benefits for mental health, particularly in reducing stress and anxiety after a long day of work or school. Similar to meditating, coloring allows us to focus our mind and engage in mindfulness. Dr Fenkel explains, "The repetitive motion of filling in shapes with color can soothe your mind, allowing you to temporarily set aside worries or stressors that might be weighing you down."

Because the activity itself is very low stakes, it is a perfect way to unwind. You can focus as much or as little as you like, and for however long you choose. "When choosing colors and filling in a design, your brain can take a break from the overthinking that often contributes to stress," Dr. Fenkel says. "It’s a way of giving yourself permission to pause, slow down, and reconnect with a sense of calm."

Not only does it help with de-stressing, it can also contribute to help processing your emotions. "The creative expression involved in coloring can also help you process emotions. Even though it might seem simple, the colors you choose and how you apply them can reflect your inner state," according to Dr. Fenkel.

"Coloring isn’t just a pleasant pastime, but also a small but effective tool for managing stress, nurturing mental well-being, and cultivating peace in a busy world, " Dr. Fenkel says.

So sit back, relax, grab your markers or pencils, and start coloring!

Find Your New Favorite Adult Coloring Book Here!

Amazon

Yournotes Publishing Mindfulness Coloring Book For Adults

This book offers a wide variety of animals and flowers to choose from! The intricate patterns encourage you to pay attention to detail and let you get super creative with your color choices! This book gives you 50 different patterns to color in, so you have enough to last for a while, too.

Amazon

Crayola Flower Coloring Book

This 40 page adult coloring book is a breath of fresh, floral air. Made by Crayola, AKA coloring book royalty, you know the quality on this book is gonna be good. These gorgeous illustrations are on perforated pages as well, so you can tear out your favorites to share on your fridge!

Amazon

Adult Swear Words Coloring Book

Sometimes you just gotta laugh, you know? These 40 single-sided pages are full of swear words and illustrations to help you take the edge off. Some designs are more simple, some are more intricate, and all are a real good time. And if you don't believe me, this adult coloring book has 4.6 stars out of over 3,000 ratings!

Amazon

Kytefox Publishing Stress Relief Adult Coloring Book

This book features larger images, which is perfect if you’re not a fan of smaller details. It has a very nature-inspired and mystical vibe, so if that’s your style, this coloring book would be perfect for you! There are a total of 60 designs to color in, so you've got a lot to work with while you wind down.

Amazon

RYVE Adult Coloring Book for Women

This adult coloring book is "thoughtfully designed to provide a peaceful, mindful experience, combining the joy of coloring with the power of introspection." Each illustration is paired with personal growth prompts, so you can ground yourself even more. This book features bleed-resistant paper, so you don't have to worry about accidentally coloring over your prompts for tomorrow.

Amazon

Cozy Friends: Coloring Book for Adults and Teens

This adult coloring book is perfect for a sweet, cute little vibe! I’ve seen these little characters all over TikTok, and they’re just so adorable! I love the characters and all the cute settings the book places them in. Each of the 40 pages features hand-drawn designs, so you know this one's special.

Amazon

Cozy Spaces Coloring Spooky Cutie Coloring Book for Adults and Teens

With fall right around the corner, I thought it was only fitting to include a seasonally themed coloring book too! I mean could this get any cuter? You definitely wanna pick up this 40 illustration book ASAP!

Amazon

Mindfulness Patterns: Coloring Book with Creative Pattern Designs for Stress Relief and Relaxation

Mindfulness really is the big goal with these adult coloring books. This one has 50 illustrations on single-sided pages, and features "a variety of shapes and zentangle doodle patterns." Don't know what "zentangle patterns" are? Me either! According to Zentangle.com, these are images created by drawing structured patterns — cool!

Large Print Easy Color & Frame - Stress Free Adult Coloring Book

This adult coloring book is spiral bound with larger print — again, that's really helpful for folks who wanna worry less about coloring in all the intricate, tiny little lines. There are 31 coloring pages, with each being one-sided and perforated. Plus, this well-loved book (4.7 stars out of almost 5,000 reviews) features thicker paper to prevent bleed-through.

Markers, Pens, And Pencils For Your Adult Coloring Books

Amazon

SFAIH Brush Tip Alcohol Markers Set

Hands down, this is the best marker set on Amazon for a reasonable price! It’s always helpful to have both thick and fine tips to cover larger or smaller areas of the page. I also love the variety of shades within the same color, and they're all SUPER cute!

Amazon

Caliart 34 Double Tip Brush Pens Art Markers

This is another excellent marker option if you’re looking for an even finer tip! These are perfect if your coloring books have teeny-tiny details, and if you’re a perfectionist (like me) who loves to stay inside the lines.

Amazon

Soucolor 72-Color Colored Pencils for Adult Coloring Books

If you’re more of a colored pencil girl than a marker girl, I highly recommend this 72-piece colored pencil set. They have every color you could ever need! Plus, colored pencils are great for blending if you want to get a bit more technical with it.

Amazon

Artownlar Premium 72 Colored Pencils with Coloring Books Set

Finally, if you’re always on the go or want to color while traveling, you should grab a coloring book set! It comes with everything you need and is perfect for bringing on a road trip, to the park, or even as a thoughtful gift for a friend!

Subscribe to our newsletter to shop more Amazon finds!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

Header image via Amazon.

I’ve triedtons of different food trends in my day. From dumping chili oil on ice cream to concocting my very own Sleepy Girl Mocktail, nothing I’ve eaten measures up to the sheer weirdness we saw go viral on social media this year (major side eye to Dua Lipa’s pickle Diet Coke).

These are the top 5 most ridiculous TikTok-viral food trends of 2024 that left us questioning whether they really should’ve gone viral in the first place.

@claudiaeatsgood chamoy pickles are so good😋😩❤️ @Bussin Snacks #chamoypickle#chamoy#chamoypicklekit#bussinsnacks#takis#fruitrollup#mukbang#asmr#asmrmukbang#chamoypicklemukbang#juicy#pickle#mexicancandy♬ original sound - Claudia💕

1. Chamoy Pickles

People couldn't quit it with the chamoy pickles (AKA chickles) this year. I never would've guessed that chamoy, a condiment made from dried fruits, chilies, sugar, and lime juice, would be slathered atop the sourest pickles money can buy.

But the food trend didn't stop at just chamoy – many snackers stuffed their pickles with everything from the likes of Hot Cheetos, Takis, and Fruit Roll-Ups. What?!

This insanely sour, tangy treat kickstarted what the internet's coined as the 'Red 40 Diet', which certainly cannot be medically advised.

If you care for your GI tract, this food trend is 100% worth skipping and leaving behind in 2024.

@dualipaofficial

What do we call her?

♬ original sound - Dua Lipa

2. Pickle + Jalapeño-Infused Diet Coke

Diet Coke, pickle juice, and jalapeño juice = all the ingredients needed to concoct Dua Lipa's controversial 2024 drink. She loves it, but I on the other hand, do not.

Now, don't get me wrong: I love a good unexpected flavor combo, but gulping down a simultaneous dose of both pickle juice and jalapeño juice was not tasty to me whatsoever.

This trend even sparked a slew of Sonic diners to start ordering their soft drinks with pickles – but as divisive as this trend can be ("Don’t knock it till you try it," TikToker Mississippi Memaw told Food and Wine), it's just flat out weird.

@logagm

New cucumber recipe 🚨

♬ original sound - Logan

3. Cucumber Salad

If you bought a mandolin slicer recently, you might as well admit you're a victim of the TikTok-viral cucumber salad trend that made its rounds this year.

"Sometimes you need to eat an entire cucumber," TikTok user @logagmsounds off in the intro of every single one of his cucumber salad videos. And thus, the food trend was born.

It felt like I couldn't go a day on TikTok without seeing at least 5 recipes for a damn cucumber salad. When it comes down to it, I can appreciate the novelty (and taste) of this trend, but not the oversaturation. I'm gonna eat an entire cucumber one day, and get so tired of it the next. New innovations in 2025, please!

@kylekruegerr Would you try these?😂 #foodreview#seagrapes#food#review#tastetest#weirdfood♬ original sound - Kyle Krueger

4. Sea Grapes

It was like people wanted to eat the weirdest, grossest things in 2024. I can't blame 'em, especially if it's for clicks and views. But this food trend in particular literally made me want to gag – and I was only watching people eat through a screen (any fellow ASMR fans out there?).

They don't look like they're supposed to be crunchy, but they are. Sea grapes grow from aquatic plants and are filled with essentially what is a "salty liquid." They burst in the mouth when you eat them (one TikToker called them 'edible Orbeez'). Yuck.

@julieta.asmr I figured it out!! Blooper at the end 🥴 #asmr#asmrcommunity#asmrtiktoks#asmrvideo#asmrsounds#asmreating#asmrfood#asmrfyp#asmrmukbang#mukbang#asmreatingsounds♬ original sound - Julieta ASMR 🍒

5. Exploding Candies

The final (and especially weird) food trend I propose we leave behind in 2024 is these dang exploding jelly candies. They also made their rounds on ASMR TikTok, and I truly cannot stand to watch a single video featuring them.

First off, they look so annoying to consume. The fruit-shaped jellies are contained in a thin layer of plastic that's meant to burst open when you sink your teeth into it, prompting you to slurp out the sweetness inside. But what irks me the most is the fact that many people trying them can't even break the seal.

I'd rather watch someone make a simple PB&J than go to town on these microplastic-infused candies.

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There’s always been a sort of DIY element to the IKEA brand, from building the furniture yourself to IKEA hacks to their bolts of Scandinavian-inspired fabrics to make everything from pillows to accessories. Now IKEA stores are blowing it up with Tyg, a new collection of home textiles that inspires us to get creative with fabric.

The pre-cut fabrics come in 3-meter cuts, or a little more than 3 yards each – just enough to get creative with canvas covers, bags, fashion and accessories. Choose from 20 cheerful, vibrant, and nature-inspired patterns that reflect Scandinavian modern design to transform and personalize your space. Look out for the collection in stores this July 2024!

In the meantime, here’s some inspiration for turning them into something you love! Make sure to bookmark it!

Pencil Skirt

IKEA

"Our collections are a homage to the rich Scandinavian design identity that we cherish and aim to preserve," says a rep from IKEA Sweden. There are also some vintage prints in the mix. Try our easy pencil skirt pattern for a fun summer skirt.

No Sew Belted Tote

IKEA

Storage hack: Use these bold prints to cover boring cardboard boxes and add a leather handle for a chic and practical use.

Low-Sew Ottoman Cover

IKEA

Learn how to reupholster an ottoman and pick fun IKEA fabrics to create a statement piece.

Tote Bag

IKEA

You can never have too many tote bags, right? This floral pattern would make for a cute and colorful market tote!

Hugs + Kisses Pillows

IKEA

Try this animal print in our most adorable hugs and kisses pillows. New to sewing? Try our sewing class!

Overall Dress

IKEA

Practice your sewing skills by making a simple overalls dress! This fabric would be perfect.

Box Covers

IKEA

Wrap them like gift wrap around shoe boxes using a staple gun for another easy storage hack.

No Sew Pencil Pouch

IKEA

A small print like this black and white check is great for small projects like a pencil pouch.

Pillowcases

IKEA

Colorful stripes are perfect for a pillowcase pattern (via PurlSoho), where you just stitch two rectangles of fabric together (standard size is 20 by 26 inches) right sides together. Then hem the opening!

Wall Organizer

IKEA

This wall organizer is another easy DIY, where you can sew the rectangle around the dowel, or iron the edges with no-sew hem tape. Hand-sew or machine stitch the pockets, making sure to fold under the edges for a cleaner look!

Planter

IKEA

This drawstring planter cover is a cute idea for covering ho-hum planters or vases.

Kids Travel Pillow

IKEA

Traveling with a kiddo? Keep them comfy with this sweet travel pillow pattern from Joann's.

Summer Crop Top

IKEA

A great first sewing project is this crop top in this fun purple check!

No Sew Covered Canvas

IKEA

Probably the easiest way to use this fabric is by staple-gunning it around a canvas for an easy and creative art piece!

Laptop Case

IKEA

Protect your laptops with a fabric case in a bold striped pattern. This fabric would also make a great curtain!

Pet Bed

IKEA

OMG, how cute! Make your pet a bed (via Joann's) in a playful print you'll both love.

Seat Cushion

IKEA

Learning the straight stitch on your sewing machine will get you very far. New seat cushions in every room!

Tasseled Pillows

IKEA

I never met a tassel I didn't love. Add bright colored tassels to this B&W print.

Travel Bag

IKEA

Toss your toiletries in something handmade with thistravel bag pattern.

Pocket Patch

IKEA

Pocket patterns are great for adding to furniture and clothes. This top-stitched one is handy for holding the remote, emergency snack bag, or a small book.

Look out for the IKEA Tyg collection in stores this July 2024!

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Images via IKEA

First loves are TOUGH — especially when you start to see all the red flags you missed along the way once it's over. If you've been dissecting your own early love stories by reading Reddit threads or chatting with your girlfriends about their own relationship experiences, just know this: you're not alone! The entire Brit + Co staff even found ourselves discussing the first person we ever fell in love with...and the recounts did not disappoint. From realizing 19 seemed to be a common age for our all-time worst relationships to understanding how our first love was probably not as ideal as we originally thought, it made us wonder why we couldn't pinpoint red flags back then.

Licensed Psychotherapist Prerna Menon, founder of Boundless, LCSW-PLLC and Licensed marriage and family therapist Joseph Cavins, LMFT have a few thoughts that have helped us decode the precarious time in our lives.

Here's why some of us ignored how awful our first love might've been

1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.

Savannah Dematteo

I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.

"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.

As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."

Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.

2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.

Keira Burton

While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."

Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.

Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."

3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.

Luis Zambrano

Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?

Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.

You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says

4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.

Adely

*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."

Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.

4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.

Pavel Danilyuk

Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.

Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.

I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."

5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.

Ketut Subiyanto

Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."

At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.

What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?

Andrea Piacquadio

First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."

I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.

"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.

Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.

Here are Menon's tips:

  • Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
  • Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.

Anastasia Nagibina

I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?

I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.

"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."

Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."

He wants you to consider these things:

  • Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
  • Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
  • Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.

Menon's final piece of advice is similar in that she encourages you to be "self-critical, self-aware, and self-nourishing." She doesn't want you to be afraid to be "clear and transparent about your expectations for the relationship" either. Though we weren't a fan of the outcomes of our first real romantic relationships, they've made us wiser. So, shout out to our first loves for being the worst because they've become our best learning lessons.

That's not all! We have even more helpful articles about relationships & family if you're looking for everything from celebrity couples to navigating hard conversations during the holidays.

No matter how many times I rewatch The Vampire Diaries, there's nothing like seeing a cast reunion — and the weekend of December 6, we finally got to see our three favorite Mystic Falls gals together again! Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King were just some of The Vampire Diaries cast members who reunited for Epic Con to chat all things Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline...but things took a turn in the middle of the interview when one of the backdrops almost fell on Nina!

Keep reading to see what happened during The Vampire Diaries cast reunion with Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King.

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Even after all these years, Bonnie and Caroline are still saving Elena #tvd #thevampirediaries #ninadobrev #candiceking #katgraham #elanagilbert #carolineforbes #bonniebennett #epiccons

As someone who's done plenty of interviews myself, I know how fast a situation can spiral — and this interview accident is crazy. While talking on stage about the show, one of the backdrops begins to lean forward, and right before it falls on top of Nina, Candice and Kat quickly move to push it in the opposite direction.

"I don't want to see any 'Bonnie saves the day' memes," Kat jokes, referencing the fandom's love for Bonnie consistently helping the group throughout the show's eight-season run. "I don't want to see it, I don't want to hear it!" You can also see a relieved Nina hug Candice before revealing she thought it was a spider!

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In addition to this "Bonnie saves the day" moment (sorry, Kat, I couldn't help it!), the internet went crazy when Nina posted a video of her, Candice, and Kat recreating a photo they took during season 1 — especially after rumors have circulated for years that Kat Graham was mistreated on The Vampire Diaries set.

While these rumors have never been outright confirmed, fans have paid very special attention to what Kat has said...especially when she confirmedshe was the lowest-paid cast member and cried over her natural hair after revealing she wasn't really allowed to have an afro while filming.

"Love you girls so much!!!!!! 🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️" Kat commented on Nina's post, while a fan added, "And now the rumors can definitely be ended 🫶🏼❤️." These women are so powerful and clearly love each other so much, and I will take any and every cast reunion we can get!

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When Brit + Co caught up with Ian Somerhalder, he also expressed how much he loved filming The Vampire Diaries. "Every single day it was a laugh," he says. "I mean we had to be serious, you're running from ghosts and vampires and stuff, and you know, someone makes a fart joke and a 130 people erupt in laughter, there's only so much you can run for your life."

And thank goodness, Ian confirms just how much fun the cast had! "We laughed, that's how we kept each other sane," he says. "I spent 8 years on the show and now it's [been] 15 years. It's my longest relationship."

"I cannot believe it's been 15 years," he continues. "And so everyone who's seen the show, watched the show, supported us — and me — in any way, shape, and form regarding the show, I thank you from the bottom of my heart."

What would your dream The Vampire Diaries reunion look like? Let us know on Facebook!