Motherhood is hailed as one of the greatest tasks that a birthing parent can take on to the point there's an entire day dedicated to celebrating it. But, moms know that motherhood doesn't end or begin with a special day — it's something that's ongoing that takes time to adjust to.
There are countless lessons that moms have to learn, whether they're first-time mamas or have years of experience. And, sometimes they don't always get it "right," at least according to societal expectations. But instead of readily accepting them, more moms are choosing to find ways to parent that not only work for them but also helps support their family — including Bring It On and The Perfect Findstar, Gabrielle Union.
With a career that dates back to TV shows like Star Trek and 7th Heaven, she's a mother who continues to be vocal about creating safe spaces for her children, especially daughters Zaya and Kaavia, to thrive.
Gabrielle Union Got Candid About Her Motherhood Fears
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Even though it doesn't always feel this way, celebrities are humans who also experience a range of emotions — fear being one of them. Gabrielle admitted in an E! News interview that she was concerned about raising her daughter Kaavia after she was born in 2018. She said, "I was afraid of being a bad mom, of not living up to the great moms that I grew up with." She's not alone in feeling like this. The same year Kaavia was born, a survey from A Secure Life revealed 23% of surveyors were afraid for their children's safety.
As a first-time mom, someone I used to be close with made me worry I wouldn't be a great mom either. I questioned my beliefs, wondering whether I'd be the parent that causes my child to need therapy in the future. As much as I tried to move past that, it got to the point where I felt this person's passive-aggressive comments would continue to place my parenting skills in a box. Looking back, I wasn't being fair to myself or my motherhood journey by allowing someone else's experiences dictate what kind of mother I am before my child was even born.
Like me, Gabrielle recognized the unfair expectations she placed on herself, realizing that she didn't have to have all the answers at the end of the day. Expectations aren't inherently bad, but those same expectations can create unnecessary stress if we feel we're unable to measure up to them.
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In her upcoming docuseries, Gabrielle Union: My Journey to 50, Gabrielle and her closest loved ones travel to various parts of Africa, taking viewers on the journey with her. The star gained more insight in herself and her role as a mother during their two-week trip. She told E! News, "It gave me even more confidence to trust that, maybe, I'm solid at this." Also, one of the most beautiful parts of her motherhood journey is recognizing that she can't do everything by herself. She and her husband Dwyane Wade, have opened their arms to an incredible village that are being supportive of the way they're raising their children.
She said, "We have committed to raising free girls, but we all have to be on board." This led to different people choosing to utilize therapy so they could work on healing and unlearning things that could possible hinder their interactions with the children, especially four-year-old Kaavia.
If you're in the midst of your own motherhood journey, I know first-hand how challenging it can be to define it on your terms. There's so much conflicting advice out there, intentional or not, and it can leave your head spinning. But thinking you're supposed to do and be all of the things can cause immense burnout — and that's the last thing you need.
So, should you ever have moments where you're doubtful of your parenting skills, take a cue from Gabrielle and trust that you're not supposed to know it all. Maybe being a work-in-progress is a way to give yourself grace and lessen the stress you've taken on, and ultimately free up the headspace you need to take care of your little one — making you the "good" mom you want to be. Regardless, you deserve to learn and exist without counting how many times you feel like you've failed as a mom. Trust me, I know.
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Header image via Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Tiffany & Co.
