Forget The “Two-Faced” Myth! These 4 Traits Make Geminis Awesome

gemini traits

Gemini, the third sign of the zodiac, has traits that add up to a unique blend of duality and adaptability. Born between May 21st and June 20th, Geminis are like the wind, their communication and ideas spiraling in different directions. They belong to the Air element, along with intellectual signs Libra and Aquarius. Governed by the communication planet Mercury, Geminis are endowed with sharp minds, quick wit, and a thirst for knowledge. This drives their constant quest for new experiences and information. As a mutable sign, their personality is adaptable to whatever life throws at them and is changeable. Their adaptability, curiosity, wit, and versatility are their notable quirks, sometimes leading to a dizzying fervor for others.

Geminis, as the messengers of the zodiac, are here to express ideas and purpose. They don't just strive to be open-minded but also desire to teach others to see things from different perspectives. Their aim is not just to share information but also to strengthen themselves by confidently speaking openly.

How Geminis See Life

Photo by Spencer Wirkkala/Dupe

For a Gemini, life isn't just a journey but a limitless adventure. With an insatiable thirst for knowledge and an unyielding curiosity about the world around them, Geminis live each day like the excitement of a child. They are free and detached from the outcome, seeing every experience as an opportunity to learn, grow, and expand their understanding of the universe. This vibrant and adventurous outlook on life is a key part of their personality.

Gemini's agile minds and versatile spirits equip them to navigate life's ever-changing currents easily. They thrive on variety and stimulation, constantly seeking new experiences and challenges to keep their intellect engaged. From intellectual pursuits to thrilling adventures, Gemini embraces life with open arms, eager to taste, touch, and savor all it offers.

At the core of Gemini's approach to life lies a profound recognition of the power of communication and connection. Geminis are natural-born communicators, effortlessly weaving words into intricate tapestries of thought and emotion. They thrive on lively conversation and spirited debate, cherishing the opportunity to exchange ideas and perspectives.

But beneath Gemini's outgoing exterior lies a deeper layer of introspection and contemplation. Geminis are not afraid to dive deep into their psyche, understanding the duality within themselves and the world around them. Although in meme culture, they are known to be two-faced —I am here to debunk this notion. Their nature and duality have to do with reminding us to learn how to tame our impulsivity and desires and bridge down the higher mind through communication and facts.

Geminis In Love And Relationships

Photo by Bethany Ferr/PEXELS

In matters of the heart, Geminis seek intellectual stimulation and emotional connection above all else. They value the depth of thought and shared interests in their relationships but also cherish their independence and freedom. For Geminis, love is a journey of mutual exploration and growth, where each partner can support and inspire the other to reach new heights of understanding and fulfillment.

They are drawn to partners who can engage them in meaningful discussions and challenge them to think outside the box. Nothing excites a Gemini more than the thrill of exchanging ideas and perspectives with someone who shares their curiosity and thirst for knowledge.

However, Geminis also value their independence and freedom. They need space to explore their interests and pursue personal growth, and they seek partners who respect and support their autonomy. In a healthy relationship, Gemini aims to feel free to express themselves openly and honestly, knowing their partner appreciates their uniqueness and cherishes their individuality. They also have an infectious and goofy energy that can stir up a lot of laughs from their lover. Appreciating their zany humor will score many points, but it must be genuine because they can read through a false façade from a mile away.

At the same time, Geminis are deeply affectionate and attentive partners. They enjoy showering their loved ones affectionately and expressing their feelings through words and gestures. Geminis are skilled communicators, adept at articulating their emotions and making their partners feel loved and appreciated.

But beneath Gemini's sociable exterior lies a deeper layer of complexity. Geminis sometimes struggle with commitment and may fear being tied down or restricted in their relationships. This often results in partnership dynamics that contain control issues or a lack of drive. They thrive on variety and stimulation and may be drawn to partners who can keep up with their ever-changing interests and passions.

For Geminis, love is a continued work in progress. They seek partners who can inspire them to reach new heights of understanding and fulfillment and are willing to accompany them on their quest for knowledge and self-discovery. With their quick wit, charm, and insatiable curiosity, Geminis approach love and relationships with fun and are eager to walk hand in hand with a partner who approaches life with an open heart.

Gemini's Approach To Money

Photo by Karolina Grabowska/PEXELS

Gemini individuals approach money with pragmatism, curiosity, and adaptability. While they may not be as focused on material wealth as some other signs, they recognize the importance of financial security and the freedom it can provide.

Gemini's curiosity often leads them to explore different avenues of earning and managing money. They may be open to trying new investment strategies, exploring different sources of income, or experimenting with budgeting techniques. Their adaptable mindset allows them to quickly adjust to changing financial circumstances and make the most of any opportunities that come their way.

At times, Gemini's indecisiveness may manifest in their financial decisions. New and exciting ventures may tempt them, leading to occasional impulse purchases or investments. However, their quick minds and analytical abilities often help them evaluate the risks and rewards before making significant financial commitments.

Despite their occasional hastiness, Gemini individuals are generally responsible with their money. They understand the importance of saving for the future and may take a disciplined approach to budgeting and investing. They may also enjoy learning about personal finance and may seek out resources to help them make informed decisions about their money.

Gemini's approach to finances may vary depending on their partner's financial habits and values. They may be open to sharing financial responsibilities and working together to achieve common goals. However, they may also value their financial independence and appreciate having the freedom to manage their money as they see fit.

Geminis In Their Careers

Photo by George Milton/PEXELS

In their careers, Geminis thrive in dynamic and intellectually stimulating environments where their quick minds and versatile skills can shine. Blessed with a sharp intellect, natural charisma, and boundless curiosity, Geminis are well-suited for roles that require creativity, communication, and adaptability.

Journalism, writing, public relations, teaching, or sales are just a few examples of careers where Geminis excels. These professions allow them to harness their natural gift for communication and connect with others on a deep level. Whether crafting compelling stories, delivering engaging presentations, or inspiring others to take action, Geminis thrive in roles where they can express themselves freely and make a meaningful impact.

One of Gemini's greatest strengths is their ability to juggle multiple tasks and interests simultaneously. They are masters of multitasking, effortlessly balancing various projects and responsibilities. This versatility allows them to thrive in fast-paced environments where they can quickly switch gears and adapt to changing circumstances.

Geminis also has a keen eye for innovation and always seeks new and exciting opportunities. They enjoy exploring different career advancement avenues, whether pursuing further education, taking on new challenges, or launching their ventures. Their entrepreneurial spirit and willingness to take risks often lead them to success in their chosen fields.

In essence, Gemini individuals find fulfillment in careers that allow them to engage their minds, express their creativity, and positively impact the world around them. With their quick wit, charm, and insatiable thirst for knowledge, they embrace the challenges and opportunities that come their way, navigating their career paths with grace, intelligence, and an irrepressible spirit of adventure.

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December carries on, continuing Sagittarius season — usually a pretty joyful time of year! Holiday lights illuminate the darkness, and friends and families gather. While the Sun is in this vivacious sign, it is important to cultivate happiness. Sagittarius is ultimately about seeking the truth, aiming for broader meaning in life, and embodying an optimistic archetype focused on honorable and virtuous living. However, there can be a bit of self-righteousness and a know-it-all attitude, as well. It's important to remain flexible in our thinking and to realize that what’s right for us may not be right for others. Sagittarius is a mutable fire sign, so it’s wise to remain adaptable, to employ a positive attitude, and to keep a sense of humor.

Oh, and while we're at it...Mercury is FINALLY exiting its retrograde period! So what does all this mean for your weekly horoscope? Let's find out!

Scroll down to see your exciting weekly horoscope for December 9-15!

What's happening astrologically during the week of December 9-15, 2024?

Sivan Weitz

We are given an opportunity to heal parts of ourselves that are usually hidden or otherwise inaccessible when the Sun trines Chiron on December 10. Extroverts can use this creative time to shine, display their talents, and take leadership roles in their communities. More reserved introverts are encouraged to share their time helping others. For all of us, this generosity toward others serves as a way to heal our wounds. Charitable acts will be deeply rewarding.

Working toward a creative goal that pushes us beyond our comfort zone aligns perfectly with the energy when Venus opposes Mars on December 12. Romantic gestures will help deepen our relationships. If you are not in an intimate partnership, consider how you can blend and honor both your feminine and masculine energies. Tap into the friendly vibe of Mercury sextile Venus, exact on December 13, to create fun-loving, enjoyable exchanges with everyone you interact with. We can all practice being charming, good-natured, and affectionate while seeking reciprocity in our relationships. This uplifting energy can help resolve conflicts positively for everyone involved.

Liene Pogule

Mercury stations direct on December 15, alleviating any mishaps that may have occurred over the past couple of weeks and paving the way for more effortless progress. If you used the retrograde period to reevaluate and recuperate, you will feel energized and able to focus on the plans you made. Mars is still retrograde and will be until February 24, 2025, so it’s still advised to take it easy and not move too quickly. Pace yourself and move with purpose toward any goals you’ve been dreaming about.

The full moon on December 15 is a great time to connect your mind, body, and spirit. Engage in rituals that affirm this internal union. Celebrate the joyousness of the season in a light-hearted way. Mars opposes Pluto which is conjunct Venus during this full Moon, and we will find motivation and inspiration to achieve our goals, both large and small. We will all have profound feelings around what we love and value.

In all activities, maintain a flexible willingness to go with the flow and open yourself to serendipity.

​Read Your Weekly Horoscope For Your Sun & Rising Signs!

Spencer Wirkkala

Aries (March 21 – April 20)

This is a great week to be creative, but not in an ordinary way. Express yourself from the depths of your soul. Tap into your subconscious and create something that ignites your inner feminine wisdom. Use your art, in whatever form it manifests, to blend and harmonize your whole being. If you find yourself uninspired, slow down and allow yourself to daydream and stare at the stars or the clouds for gentle inspiration. After all, art can truly come from any and everywhere!

Photo by Sarah on Unsplash

Taurus (April 21 – May 21)

Focus on your family, your home, and your inner child. What do you feel, and how can you express your care and love? This energy is tender, and if you are honest with yourself, you can create the love you need. One way is to tend to your home and express your love to your loved ones. Another way is to practice self-care. While there is nothing wrong with going to the salon to get a new haircut or manicure, the opportunity for profound healing goes much deeper.

Photo by Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash

Gemini (May 22 – June 21)

You must communicate your deepest truth this week. Leading up to the full moon on December 15th, take time to write in your journal or speak into your voice memos about what lies at the core of your being. Use your words to clarify your deepest desires. As the year winds down, use this week to reflect on and appreciate how far you have come and how much you have grown. The act of writing or speaking will allow you to access your inner authenticity. Share what you learn with trusted allies or keep it to yourself. Inner clarity is what matters.

Cancer (June 22 – July 22)

Act on whatever makes you feel secure and stable. Use this week to understand what you value and how to achieve peace of mind. Use your money wisely, but be generous with your loved ones. Express your love in ways that demonstrate the profound connection you share with others. This could take many forms, but heartfelt gifts that signify your deepest love will be most meaningful for both you and the recipient of your kind magnanimity. Anyone in your sphere is so lucky to have the many gifts you bring to the table at the end of the day!

Photo by Ionela Mat on Unsplash

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Use your energy wisely this week. You'll likely feel braver and more willing to change whatever needs changing. Pace yourself, but don’t hold back. This creative energy can be harnessed for positive actions. What do you truly desire? At every opportunity, clarify your personal ambitions and realize you have the power to create your best reality. Be sure not to isolate yourself too much as you focus on your goals and aspirations. Breakthroughs are likely to happen. This is warrior energy, so your successes will be amplified if you have allies by your side. We're always stronger together, aren't we?

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

Virgo (August 23 – September 21)

If you find yourself repressing or holding back feelings of anger and frustration, devise healthy ways to release the energy. Move your body purposefully and energetically, but do not push yourself too hard. Write in your journal or talk with a trusted friend or therapist. Shed light on anything you might be hiding from or unconsciously carrying with you. Use Sagittarius’ truth-seeking energy to uncover what might be hidden. You may be surprised what you end up finding!

Lada Balakireva

Libra (September 22 – October 22)

It's a super playful time for you right now — which is especially great if you have children! Even if you don't, lean into that energy; be creative, make holiday crafts, and bake cookies. Let the play be free-form and try not to be controlling or judgmental. It’s okay if the ornaments are not symmetrical or if the cookies are decorated haphazardly. Joy and fun are most important. If you don’t have kids around, use this time to play and be creative for yourself. Take pride in your abilities and follow through on hunches or impulses. Slow down and enjoy simple pleasures.

Photo by miguel sinisterra on Unsplash

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Take a break from work, or at least allow yourself to slow down a little more. Use this time to reflect on what needs to change in your career. You will likely face some decisions about how you want to refocus your efforts. You will make better decisions if you are rested and clear-eyed. Make long-term plans for how you’d like to reformulate your work. Reflect on the year and see how far you’ve come and how much you’ve grown. Take what you learn and allow yourself to dream about a more fulfilling approach in the future.

Photo by Yoav Aziz on Unsplash

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Your imagination is on fire, and you’ll find yourself dreaming about your next big adventure or learning a new skill. You may feel restless and a little impatient. Try to temper your enthusiasm and refrain from being overly opinionated. Use the excess energy available to finish what you’re working on before starting something new. Be sure to move your body in a joyful way, but don’t push yourself too hard physically. Be careful around aggressive people, and like an Aikido master, let any combative energy pass by in the name of peace. You've got this!

Margaret Molloy

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You might be feeling serious and a bit out of sync with all the joyfulness around you. Allow yourself to go inward and be truthful about what you are experiencing. It’s likely that the transformations brewing inside you relate to a need for security or safety. While you might be tempted to retreat for the long haul, it’s important to balance your time alone with time spent with loved ones. The warmth of human interaction will serve to remind you that this is a passing phase. Recognize that you need others for support. And I have a pretty good feeling the people around you would love nothing more than to welcome you with open arms.

Photo by Surface on Unsplash

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

As much as you might like to rise above uncomfortable interactions, this is a really good time to work on relationships. You might have been experiencing conflicts that cloud your judgment. Reach out to a counselor to work through any differences, if you need a little extra help or added perspective. A skilled and unbiased third-party advisor will be able to identify the issues quickly and help you develop resolutions and reconciliations. Make sure your goals are harmonious and reciprocal. It may feel fraught now, but this work is so worth it!

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

The stress of the holidays may push you into overdrive, but don’t lose balance. Rest, and don’t overextend yourself. Listen to the subtle cues your body gives you. Stick to your exercise routine, but take it easy this week. Make sure you’re taking care of your health so you don’t get sick. Tune in to your pets and children. They are likely to pick up on your energy, and if you’re tense and anxious, they’ll reflect that back to you. Most simply put: find ways to find your zen as much as possible this week — you'll need it!

Looking for a more thorough reading? Reach out to Tina at SevenSistersAstrology.com!

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I’ve triedtons of different food trends in my day. From dumping chili oil on ice cream to concocting my very own Sleepy Girl Mocktail, nothing I’ve eaten measures up to the sheer weirdness we saw go viral on social media this year (major side eye to Dua Lipa’s pickle Diet Coke).

These are the top 5 most ridiculous TikTok-viral food trends of 2024 that left us questioning whether they really should’ve gone viral in the first place.

@claudiaeatsgood chamoy pickles are so good😋😩❤️ @Bussin Snacks #chamoypickle#chamoy#chamoypicklekit#bussinsnacks#takis#fruitrollup#mukbang#asmr#asmrmukbang#chamoypicklemukbang#juicy#pickle#mexicancandy♬ original sound - Claudia💕

1. Chamoy Pickles

People couldn't quit it with the chamoy pickles (AKA chickles) this year. I never would've guessed that chamoy, a condiment made from dried fruits, chilies, sugar, and lime juice, would be slathered atop the sourest pickles money can buy.

But the food trend didn't stop at just chamoy – many snackers stuffed their pickles with everything from the likes of Hot Cheetos, Takis, and Fruit Roll-Ups. What?!

This insanely sour, tangy treat kickstarted what the internet's coined as the 'Red 40 Diet', which certainly cannot be medically advised.

If you care for your GI tract, this food trend is 100% worth skipping and leaving behind in 2024.

@dualipaofficial

What do we call her?

♬ original sound - Dua Lipa

2. Pickle + Jalapeño-Infused Diet Coke

Diet Coke, pickle juice, and jalapeño juice = all the ingredients needed to concoct Dua Lipa's controversial 2024 drink. She loves it, but I on the other hand, do not.

Now, don't get me wrong: I love a good unexpected flavor combo, but gulping down a simultaneous dose of both pickle juice and jalapeño juice was not tasty to me whatsoever.

This trend even sparked a slew of Sonic diners to start ordering their soft drinks with pickles – but as divisive as this trend can be ("Don’t knock it till you try it," TikToker Mississippi Memaw told Food and Wine), it's just flat out weird.

@logagm

New cucumber recipe 🚨

♬ original sound - Logan

3. Cucumber Salad

If you bought a mandolin slicer recently, you might as well admit you're a victim of the TikTok-viral cucumber salad trend that made its rounds this year.

"Sometimes you need to eat an entire cucumber," TikTok user @logagmsounds off in the intro of every single one of his cucumber salad videos. And thus, the food trend was born.

It felt like I couldn't go a day on TikTok without seeing at least 5 recipes for a damn cucumber salad. When it comes down to it, I can appreciate the novelty (and taste) of this trend, but not the oversaturation. I'm gonna eat an entire cucumber one day, and get so tired of it the next. New innovations in 2025, please!

@kylekruegerr Would you try these?😂 #foodreview#seagrapes#food#review#tastetest#weirdfood♬ original sound - Kyle Krueger

4. Sea Grapes

It was like people wanted to eat the weirdest, grossest things in 2024. I can't blame 'em, especially if it's for clicks and views. But this food trend in particular literally made me want to gag – and I was only watching people eat through a screen (any fellow ASMR fans out there?).

They don't look like they're supposed to be crunchy, but they are. Sea grapes grow from aquatic plants and are filled with essentially what is a "salty liquid." They burst in the mouth when you eat them (one TikToker called them 'edible Orbeez'). Yuck.

@julieta.asmr I figured it out!! Blooper at the end 🥴 #asmr#asmrcommunity#asmrtiktoks#asmrvideo#asmrsounds#asmreating#asmrfood#asmrfyp#asmrmukbang#mukbang#asmreatingsounds♬ original sound - Julieta ASMR 🍒

5. Exploding Candies

The final (and especially weird) food trend I propose we leave behind in 2024 is these dang exploding jelly candies. They also made their rounds on ASMR TikTok, and I truly cannot stand to watch a single video featuring them.

First off, they look so annoying to consume. The fruit-shaped jellies are contained in a thin layer of plastic that's meant to burst open when you sink your teeth into it, prompting you to slurp out the sweetness inside. But what irks me the most is the fact that many people trying them can't even break the seal.

I'd rather watch someone make a simple PB&J than go to town on these microplastic-infused candies.

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With the holidays in full swing, it seems only right to snuggle up on the couch and watch Christmas movies. And the first movie that’s at the top of our list? It’s none other than 2003’s rom-com Love Actually, which stars Hugh Grant, Liam Neeson, Keira Knightley, Thomas Brodie-Sangster, Alan Rickman, Andrew Lincoln and Emma Thompson. Sure, the movie will forever tug at our heartstrings. (We are STILL upset that Sarah and Karl didn’t end up together.) But what makes the timeless holiday classic so great are the relatable characters. And, while watching the film, if you ever resonated with Natalie because she gave off major Gemini vibes, then you’re certainly not the only one.

Keep reading to find out which Love Actually character you are, based on your zodiac sign.

Universal Pictures

Aries (March 21 – April 20): Colin Frissell

Aries like to take action and go after what they want. So are we really surprised that Colin Frissell embodies this zodiac sign to a T? Not only does he move to America to find a girlfriend, but his plan actually works, and he ends up taking her back to London with him. Talk about a man who’s bold and ambitious.

Universal Pictures

Taurus (April 21 – May 21): Jamie

Tauruses are known for being as loyal, dependable and hard-working. This is the case for Jamie, who is diligent writing his book when he meets Aurélia, who is hired as his personal housekeeper. If that wasn’t enough Jamie is patient and steady. So, when Jamie enrolled in a class to learn Aurélia’s native language and flew to her hometown in order to propose to her, we couldn’t help but think how Taurus coded he was.

Universal Pictures

Gemini (May 22 – June 21): Natalie

With Geminis, they are referred to as the sign with “two faces.” When Natalie first meets the Prime Minister, she is nice and respectful…until she utters the word “fuck” right in front of him, which he makes him smile uncontrollably (and us too!). On one hand, Natalie can be shy, sweet and polite. But whenever she’s around someone she’s comfortable (i.e. her family), she has quite the potty mouth. Could it be her celestial twin peeking through?

Universal Pictures

Cancer (June 22 – July 22): Karen

When it comes to Cancers, they are known as the nurturers of the zodiac signs. After Karen finds out about her husband’s brief indiscretion with a co-worker, one would think that her first thought would be to get a divorce and leave him. But in the end, they stay together for the sake of their children. Consider Karen a true “ride or die” partner.

Universal Pictures

Leo (July 23 – August 22): The Prime Minister

Being that he holds a high ranking position, the Prime Minister is well accustomed to being in the spotlight. While Leo’s are considered to be natural-born leaders, it comes as no surprise that the Prime Minister exudes a sense of confidence and comfortability when it comes to being the center of attention. And they are willing to protect the ones they love, which makes the Prime Minister’s remark toward the President of the United States (after he saw the commander in chief behaving inappropriately toward Natalie) that much more iconic.

Universal Pictures

Virgo (August 23 – September 21): Sarah

Sarah was willing to do anything for her brother: even if that meant sacrificing her own happiness. Similarly, Virgos have this impeccable ability to focus and hone in on their skills or whatever they put their mind to, hence why Sarah put all of her energy into supporting her brother, who was struggling with mental illness.

Universal Pictures

Libra (September 22 – October 22): Juliet

Some may think Julie was unfaithful when ran up to Mark (AKA her husband’s best friend) and kissed him after professing his love through cue cards. But many Libras may fall victim to this: they tend to be indecisive, and as a result, this zodiac sign could end up putting other people’s feelings before their own. And the same thing can be said for Julie, who kisses Mark after he confesses his love for her. Nevertheless, Libras are just lover girls/boys at heart.

Universal Pictures

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): Harry

Known for being quite intense and mysterious, Scorpios can be misunderstood in many ways. (Yes, even more than Geminis…) So, it’s not hard to see clear parallels between Harry and Scorpios when he *coughs* starts having an affair with his co-worker and keeps it a secret from his wife *coughs*.

Universal Pictures

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): Jeannie

Sagittariuses are vibrant, fun-loving individuals who enjoy a good adventure. When Jeannie meets Colin in a bar upon his arrival to the States, she is so enamored with his British accent. And she is so open to exploring a romance with Colin upon first meeting him. Well, her and her three friends, that is…

Universal Pictures

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Mark

Similar to how Capricorns are incredibly loyal and dedicated to their relationships (whether romantic or platonic), Mark is determined to not ruin his friendship with Peter (played by Chiwetel Ejiofor). Even though he is madly in love with his best friend’s wife, Juliet. NBD.

Universal Pictures

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): Joanna Anderson

Joanna Anderson really is THAT girl. When she performs “All I Want for Christmas Is You” at the Christmas concert, she truly steals the show. (Not to mention that her voice is undoubtedly angelic.) So, it goes without saying that Joanna gives off major Aquarius vibes. This zodiac sign is known for being authentic and creative. Plus, Aquariuses are considered the humanitarian astrological sign. Need we say more?

Universal Pictures

Pisces (February 19 – March 20): Sam

Sam is compassionate, empathic and sensitive; just like a Pisces. In case you need a refresher, Sam learned how to play drums so he can perform alongside Joanna in the Christmas concert, not to mention he ran through an airport to profess his love for her before she left for America. If that’s not true love, then we don’t know what is.

Who is your favorite character in Love Actually? Let us know on Instagram and Sound off in the comments below and follow us on Instagram and check out the cozy new Christmas movies coming out in 2024!

First loves are TOUGH — especially when you start to see all the red flags you missed along the way once it's over. If you've been dissecting your own early love stories by reading Reddit threads or chatting with your girlfriends about their own relationship experiences, just know this: you're not alone! The entire Brit + Co staff even found ourselves discussing the first person we ever fell in love with...and the recounts did not disappoint. From realizing 19 seemed to be a common age for our all-time worst relationships to understanding how our first love was probably not as ideal as we originally thought, it made us wonder why we couldn't pinpoint red flags back then.

Licensed Psychotherapist Prerna Menon, founder of Boundless, LCSW-PLLC and Licensed marriage and family therapist Joseph Cavins, LMFT have a few thoughts that have helped us decode the precarious time in our lives.

Here's why some of us ignored how awful our first love might've been

1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.

Savannah Dematteo

I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.

"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.

As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."

Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.

2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.

Keira Burton

While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."

Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.

Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."

3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.

Luis Zambrano

Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?

Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.

You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says

4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.

Adely

*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."

Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.

4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.

Pavel Danilyuk

Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.

Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.

I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."

5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.

Ketut Subiyanto

Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."

At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.

What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?

Andrea Piacquadio

First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."

I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.

"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.

Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.

Here are Menon's tips:

  • Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
  • Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.

Anastasia Nagibina

I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?

I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.

"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."

Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."

He wants you to consider these things:

  • Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
  • Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
  • Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.

Menon's final piece of advice is similar in that she encourages you to be "self-critical, self-aware, and self-nourishing." She doesn't want you to be afraid to be "clear and transparent about your expectations for the relationship" either. Though we weren't a fan of the outcomes of our first real romantic relationships, they've made us wiser. So, shout out to our first loves for being the worst because they've become our best learning lessons.

That's not all! We have even more helpful articles about relationships & family if you're looking for everything from celebrity couples to navigating hard conversations during the holidays.

No matter how many times I rewatch The Vampire Diaries, there's nothing like seeing a cast reunion — and the weekend of December 6, we finally got to see our three favorite Mystic Falls gals together again! Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King were just some of The Vampire Diaries cast members who reunited for Epic Con to chat all things Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline...but things took a turn in the middle of the interview when one of the backdrops almost fell on Nina!

Keep reading to see what happened during The Vampire Diaries cast reunion with Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King.

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Even after all these years, Bonnie and Caroline are still saving Elena #tvd #thevampirediaries #ninadobrev #candiceking #katgraham #elanagilbert #carolineforbes #bonniebennett #epiccons

As someone who's done plenty of interviews myself, I know how fast a situation can spiral — and this interview accident is crazy. While talking on stage about the show, one of the backdrops begins to lean forward, and right before it falls on top of Nina, Candice and Kat quickly move to push it in the opposite direction.

"I don't want to see any 'Bonnie saves the day' memes," Kat jokes, referencing the fandom's love for Bonnie consistently helping the group throughout the show's eight-season run. "I don't want to see it, I don't want to hear it!" You can also see a relieved Nina hug Candice before revealing she thought it was a spider!

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In addition to this "Bonnie saves the day" moment (sorry, Kat, I couldn't help it!), the internet went crazy when Nina posted a video of her, Candice, and Kat recreating a photo they took during season 1 — especially after rumors have circulated for years that Kat Graham was mistreated on The Vampire Diaries set.

While these rumors have never been outright confirmed, fans have paid very special attention to what Kat has said...especially when she confirmedshe was the lowest-paid cast member and cried over her natural hair after revealing she wasn't really allowed to have an afro while filming.

"Love you girls so much!!!!!! 🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️" Kat commented on Nina's post, while a fan added, "And now the rumors can definitely be ended 🫶🏼❤️." These women are so powerful and clearly love each other so much, and I will take any and every cast reunion we can get!

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When Brit + Co caught up with Ian Somerhalder, he also expressed how much he loved filming The Vampire Diaries. "Every single day it was a laugh," he says. "I mean we had to be serious, you're running from ghosts and vampires and stuff, and you know, someone makes a fart joke and a 130 people erupt in laughter, there's only so much you can run for your life."

And thank goodness, Ian confirms just how much fun the cast had! "We laughed, that's how we kept each other sane," he says. "I spent 8 years on the show and now it's [been] 15 years. It's my longest relationship."

"I cannot believe it's been 15 years," he continues. "And so everyone who's seen the show, watched the show, supported us — and me — in any way, shape, and form regarding the show, I thank you from the bottom of my heart."

What would your dream The Vampire Diaries reunion look like? Let us know on Facebook!