22 Holiday Gifts For New Parents

dad playing ukele for baby with mom

The first year of parenthood is filled with a mix of emotions: pure joy, shear exhaustion, and the realization that your life will never be the same, but in a really good way. New parents sacrifice a lot for their babes, so why not treat them to something special this holiday? From prepared meals to self-care for two to adorable holiday pajamas for their new little bundle, here are 21 gifts for new parents who deserve a little celebrating.

William Sonoma Five Days of Entrées

New parents are focused on feeding their babies and not so much themselves. Send them five days' worth of meals, like Beef Stroganoff, Polenta Dolcetta, and Zuni Stew, from Elephants Delicatessen in Portland, Oregon. Your pals just need to bake for a simple, satisfying meal. No meal planning, shopping, or actually preparing necessary! ($205)

H&M 3-piece Cotton Set

New babes can celebrate their first Christmas in this cotton set full of holiday cheer, from H&M's conscious line. Gift new parents a long-sleeved bodysuit, elastic-waistband pants, and matching reindeer hat in soft cotton jersey. It's a sweet reminder of their first holiday together. ($10)

Esembly Cloth Diaper Try-It Kit

Esembly's Try-It Kit is a simple intro to cloth diapering for eco-conscious parents. This adorable bundle comes with three soft organic cotton inners for absorbency, one waterproof outer diaper, a waterproof drawstring pouch for storing your dirties till laundry day, washing powder, and rash relief cream. ($70)

Hatch Restore Smart Sleep Assistant

New Parents: All I want for Christmas is sleep! This personalized system helps your sleep-deprived pals create a routine to help them fall asleep, stay asleep and wake up bright-eyed and bushy. There's a soft reading light, soothing sounds and lights, a custom alarm, and a free companion app for better sleep. ($130)

Etsy Birth Star Map

Give this personalized print of their newborn's birth star map - the perfect gift for any nursery. Parents can hang it up to always be reminded of the day the stars aligned and their babe came into the world — plus, it makes for a beautiful holiday keepsake. ($12)

Nunona Mama Balls

Healthy babies start with healthy mamas. Nunona's weekly nourishment boxes focus on keeping new moms healthy with the proper nutrients and superfoods. Choose from 5 delicious flavors, like Almond Coconut and Cashew Matcha, all packed with plant-based nutrition to keep moms energized throughout the day. ($35)

First Foods Set

Babies are starting to eat their first foods by 4 to 6 months. These popular anti-tipping and easy-to-clean bowls make the experience fun for kids and parents. ($38)

H&M Cotton Jersey Set

You only have one first Christmas, right? This Santa dress for babies is comfy and cozy and will stand out as a jolly gift for new parents. It's super affordable too! ($8)

Jeni's Ice Cream New Born Baby Collection

Four pints of Jeni's ice cream with a newborn onesie makes the perfect gift for new parents. You get to choose the parents' favorite flavors from this clean ice cream brand that doesn't use synthetic flavorings, dyes, or off-the-shelf mixes in their recipes. Yum! ($60)

Welcome Home Newborn Gift Set

Welcome new parents home with this sweet set for eco-minded parents. Packaged in an FSC-certified paper reusable box, the set includes soap-free wash and no-tears shampoo, apricot nourishing face and body lotion, and fair trade handmade whale rattle toy. ($42)

Postwell Postpartum Recovery Set

Childbirth ain't easy on our bodies. This customizable recovery set helps new moms heal while settling into being a mom. Each box is thoughtfully curated with products for mom and baby — delivered in 100% recyclable packaging. All boxes come with a handwritten note and custom candle too. ($99)

Boober New Parenting Classes

Boober offers classes and on-demand care providers like lactation consultants, doulas, mental health therapists, and more to help new parents ease their way from pregnancy to postpartum. Classes include Infant CPR, Infant Sleep, Pelvic Floor Exercises, and more. ($45/class)

H&M Shirt and Pants

Gift this long-sleeved shirt and pants in soft jersey for the baby elves on your list. The shirt comes with suspender detail and sweet velvet bow tie, making dress-up cozy and cute. ($20)

Agni The Mama Box

This yummy box of organic double chocolate chip cookies, organic oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, sesame nori seasoning, and tulsi cinnamon tea is designed for new moms. Ingredients are chosen to support digestion, breast milk production, restful sleep, immune health, hormone balance, and replenishing key nutrients for mom and baby. ($65)

Spoonful Comfort New Parent Care Package

Give tired parents a break from cooking with a cozy meal perfect for holiday time. Think several servings of soup, toasty dinner rolls, and a dozen cookies for dessert(s). You can customize these care packages and personalize with a note - they even come with their own ladle. ($80)

Letters To My Baby Book

New parents can fill these twelve envelopes with memories and hopeful thoughts for their little ones. Each letter begins with unique prompt like "on the day you were born...," "my wishes for you are...," "your first home was like..." Then they can seal with included stickers and save the letters to gift to their grownup kiddo as a paper time capsule. ($11)

DockATot Portable Lounger

B + C parents are big fans of the DockATot. It's travel-friendly and the perfect perch for everything from tummy time to quick diaper changes. ($175)

Goop "The Martini" Emotional Detox Bath Soak

Leave it to GOOP to create an emotionally detoxing bath soak for crazy days (A.K.A. most days in early parenthood!). Vegan and gluten-free ingredients include Himalayan pink salts to help relax, destress, and ease muscles; chia seed oil to hydrate skin; and wildcrafted frankincense to help calm and soothe the mind. There are three cups of bath soak in every bag. ($35)

Harry & David Holiday Founders' Favorites Gift Box

New parents need snacks - at all hours of the day. Enter this holiday gift box filled with everything from seasonal pears to a popcorn + chocolate mix to dried salami and cheese for a quick and easy charcuterie plate for two. Wine optional! ($100)

YETI Roadie 24 Cooler

Inspire parents to get out and about again with the YETI Roadie. It's portable enough for one person to haul while still being roomy enough for 18 cans (or bottles?). ($200)

Atlas Coffee Club World of Coffee Sampler

International travel may not be top of mind for new parents, but this coffee box will perk them right up with a tasty trip to four different countries via their coffee cup. The sampler comes complete with postcards from each country with tasting notes too. ($25)

Viktor Jurgen Neck Massage Pillow

The next best thing to a spa getaway? This deep-kneading shiatsu massage neck pillow. They'll relax in no time, at least until the next feeding. The pillow is ergonomically designed and fits perfectly behind neck, shoulder, lower and upper back, belly, calf, and thigh areas. You might want to give them two. ;) ($40)

Find more holiday gift ideas on our Pinterest page.

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others and earn commissions, but we always offer genuine editorial recommendations.

Finding gifts for the person you're closest to can be the absolute hardest thing to do, especially when there are so many things that would make great gifts for him. If you're shopping for the main man in your life this season – whether you call him your dad, husband, fiancé, boyfriend, partner, or your preferred pet names – of course you want to find a gift that shows him just how much he means to you. Just remember that the key to the perfect gift is simply that it comes from you. These stunning gift ideas will help you say "this made me think of you."

Our 49 favorite gifts for men for 2024:

Amazon

RVCA Commonwealth Snapback

This flat-brimmed baseball cap replaces those older, worn-out styles you know your man has been hoarding. The green corduroy fabric on this gift-worthy hat will grace his head perfectly for every season!

Apple Watch SE

Get him motivated to reach his fitness goals with features like fitness tracking and heart rate monitoring, plus he can send a text, take a call, listen to his favorite music and podcasts. You can customize the watch faces and bands to his liking too. It's the perfect gift for the active guy!

Amazon

Every Man Jack Mens Amber + Sandalwood Body Set

This gift set is filled with an ideal assortment of gifts for him. From body wash, shampoo, deodorant, and face wash, your man will have everything he needs to feel fresh – plus, having a good-smelling guy around is the real gift for you that keeps on giving.

Nike

Nike Air VaporMax Flyknit

Be his biggest cheerleader as he reaches his 2025 fitness goals in these best-selling Nikes, made with sustainable materials. We are loving this vintage green.

Target

VANKYO Leisure D30T Mini Wi-Fi Projector

Bring the cinema home to your movie buff with a sleek projector setup for your own private screenings and viewing parties!

Sunswell

Sunswell The R&R Pant

Made from recycled materials for rigorous wear, the Sunswell R&R pants are bound to be a staple in your man's year-round wardrobe.

Amazon

Cosori Pour Over Coffee Maker

This sturdy coffee maker will be a total hit for the caffeine-loving guy in your life. The layered stainless steel filter allows for a rich, creamy flavor in every sip, plus the decanter is holds a whole 34 ounces of brewed coffee to help him wake up!

Amazon

Stanley Stainless Steel Shot Glass and Flask Gift Set

This durable drinking set complete with a flask and shot glasses will be his new BFF for sharing on camping, fishing, or hunting trips. Top it all off with a brand-new bottle of whiskey to complete the gift for him.

Creem

Creem Magazine Subscription

For the music-loving man in your life, a subscription to Creem (the coolest rock 'n' roll mag) will really impress. The publication's covered plenty of classic names in the industry – as well as newer bands – so he's sure to soak up plenty of new knowledge about the scene. There's a handful of annual subscription tiers for the mag starting at just $79.

Amazon

Thermajohn Thermal Shirt

Whether he's hitting the slopes or is braving the cold winter weather to run errands with you, this warm thermal base layer tee will swarm his upper half in comfort, flexibly moving with his each and every move.

Herschel

Herschel Little America Backpack Pro

For his outdoor adventures or social gatherings, outfit him with a cool backpack (literally, this one is insulated) that he can fill with his favorite snacks and beverages.

Ties

Ties The Scientist Sock Pack

Whether it's a stocking stuffer or a smaller gift, a playful set of socks is both practical and personal.

Tie Bar

Tie Bar Navy Travel Tie Storage Case

This tie storage case means business, just like your man does. If he travels for work often, he'll appreciate that you're looking out for his formal-wear.

Amazon

Marlowe. Coffee Bar Soap

This manly bar soap is infused with coffee beans and cocoa butter butter that help tackle even the worst bouts of sweat and body odor. It's definitely long-lasting, too, so he can smell lovely all night long.

Taylor Stitch

Taylor Stitch The Workhorse Jacket

This jacket will hug his bod in the most stylish way, all while keeping him comfy throughout the season's cold weather.

Williams Sonoma

Breville Precision Brewer 12-Cup Drip Coffee Maker with Glass Carafe

For the early risers and coffee-obsessed, a programmable coffee maker means he can wake up to the smell of coffee every day (and no longer has to use wasteful pods for an instant brew).

Mark & Graham

Mark & Graham Italian Leather Desk Set

Whether he's going to work, outfitting a permanent at-home office, or heading back to school, a personalized desk set like this luxe leather one will please the most studious types of guys.

Nordstrom

Ugg Beckett Fleece Robe

If your man loves a cozy night in just as much as you do, a soft robe to lounge around in will make the ultimate gift for him.

Mejuri

Mejuri Flat Curb Chain Necklace

Once you've reached long-term status with your guy, gift him a signature gold chain he can flex for years to come.

Pangaia

Pangaia 365 Heavyweight Hoodie

For the hoodie-obsessed, Pangaia's signature sustainable sweatshirts (and sweatsuits!) are best-in-class.

Etsy

Custom Soundwave Art Print

From a first dance song to the one you always blast together in the car, every guy has their favorite tune. Memorialize it for your music-loving man with this custom art print.

DUER

DUER Performance Relaxed Taper Denim Jeans

A good quality, fresh pair of denim is gonna set him (and his style) so right for the new year. These jeans feature a stretchy fabric that'll allow wear for practically any occasion.

Mark & Graham

Mark & Graham Leather Poker Set

Outfit his next game night with a poker set that's sure to impress and easy to bring on the go for weekend trips and group hangs.

New Balance

New Balance 9060 Sneaker

Secure your status as the greatest of all time by copping him that stylish pair of sneakers he's been eyeing.

Amazon

Polaroid Now 2nd Generation I-Type Instant Camera + Film Bundle

If your man is into photography and all things nostalgia, consider surprising him with a retro Polaroid camera set. We bet you'll be his favorite muse.

Manly Bands

Manly Bands The Forged Ring

This sleek wedding band stands up to tough, hands-on jobs with a carbon fiber construction, unlike traditional rings. The inner part is actually made from a Jack Daniel's whiskey barrel, making the perfect personalized touch for gifting the guy who loves a drink.

Uncommon Goods

New York Times Custom Football Book

This isn't just any coffee table book, but one that true sports buffs will actually want to devour – with clippings from his team's history, glory days, and highlights.

Still trying to figure out the perfect gifts for him? Subscribe to our email newsletter for more gift guides!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others and earn commissions, but we always offer genuine editorial recommendations.

This post has been updated. Former reporting by Kaitlyn Ingram and Lauren Black.

I’ve triedtons of different food trends in my day. From dumping chili oil on ice cream to concocting my very own Sleepy Girl Mocktail, nothing I’ve eaten measures up to the sheer weirdness we saw go viral on social media this year (major side eye to Dua Lipa’s pickle Diet Coke).

These are the top 5 most ridiculous TikTok-viral food trends of 2024 that left us questioning whether they really should’ve gone viral in the first place.

@claudiaeatsgood chamoy pickles are so good😋😩❤️ @Bussin Snacks #chamoypickle#chamoy#chamoypicklekit#bussinsnacks#takis#fruitrollup#mukbang#asmr#asmrmukbang#chamoypicklemukbang#juicy#pickle#mexicancandy♬ original sound - Claudia💕

1. Chamoy Pickles

People couldn't quit it with the chamoy pickles (AKA chickles) this year. I never would've guessed that chamoy, a condiment made from dried fruits, chilies, sugar, and lime juice, would be slathered atop the sourest pickles money can buy.

But the food trend didn't stop at just chamoy – many snackers stuffed their pickles with everything from the likes of Hot Cheetos, Takis, and Fruit Roll-Ups. What?!

This insanely sour, tangy treat kickstarted what the internet's coined as the 'Red 40 Diet', which certainly cannot be medically advised.

If you care for your GI tract, this food trend is 100% worth skipping and leaving behind in 2024.

@dualipaofficial

What do we call her?

♬ original sound - Dua Lipa

2. Pickle + Jalapeño-Infused Diet Coke

Diet Coke, pickle juice, and jalapeño juice = all the ingredients needed to concoct Dua Lipa's controversial 2024 drink. She loves it, but I on the other hand, do not.

Now, don't get me wrong: I love a good unexpected flavor combo, but gulping down a simultaneous dose of both pickle juice and jalapeño juice was not tasty to me whatsoever.

This trend even sparked a slew of Sonic diners to start ordering their soft drinks with pickles – but as divisive as this trend can be ("Don’t knock it till you try it," TikToker Mississippi Memaw told Food and Wine), it's just flat out weird.

@logagm

New cucumber recipe 🚨

♬ original sound - Logan

3. Cucumber Salad

If you bought a mandolin slicer recently, you might as well admit you're a victim of the TikTok-viral cucumber salad trend that made its rounds this year.

"Sometimes you need to eat an entire cucumber," TikTok user @logagmsounds off in the intro of every single one of his cucumber salad videos. And thus, the food trend was born.

It felt like I couldn't go a day on TikTok without seeing at least 5 recipes for a damn cucumber salad. When it comes down to it, I can appreciate the novelty (and taste) of this trend, but not the oversaturation. I'm gonna eat an entire cucumber one day, and get so tired of it the next. New innovations in 2025, please!

@kylekruegerr Would you try these?😂 #foodreview#seagrapes#food#review#tastetest#weirdfood♬ original sound - Kyle Krueger

4. Sea Grapes

It was like people wanted to eat the weirdest, grossest things in 2024. I can't blame 'em, especially if it's for clicks and views. But this food trend in particular literally made me want to gag – and I was only watching people eat through a screen (any fellow ASMR fans out there?).

They don't look like they're supposed to be crunchy, but they are. Sea grapes grow from aquatic plants and are filled with essentially what is a "salty liquid." They burst in the mouth when you eat them (one TikToker called them 'edible Orbeez'). Yuck.

@julieta.asmr I figured it out!! Blooper at the end 🥴 #asmr#asmrcommunity#asmrtiktoks#asmrvideo#asmrsounds#asmreating#asmrfood#asmrfyp#asmrmukbang#mukbang#asmreatingsounds♬ original sound - Julieta ASMR 🍒

5. Exploding Candies

The final (and especially weird) food trend I propose we leave behind in 2024 is these dang exploding jelly candies. They also made their rounds on ASMR TikTok, and I truly cannot stand to watch a single video featuring them.

First off, they look so annoying to consume. The fruit-shaped jellies are contained in a thin layer of plastic that's meant to burst open when you sink your teeth into it, prompting you to slurp out the sweetness inside. But what irks me the most is the fact that many people trying them can't even break the seal.

I'd rather watch someone make a simple PB&J than go to town on these microplastic-infused candies.

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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I'm referring to our holiday movie watchlist, of course. The best new Christmas movies always make for a good time. But when it comes to the worst Christmas movies ever? Honestly, sometimes they make for an ever better time (especially when you're really dedicated to hate-watching). See which movies made the list below!

Keep reading to see the 13 worst Christmas movies that are so bad, they made the naughty list.

Our Little Secret (2024) — On Netflix Now

Chuck Zlotnick/Netflix

We're starting off strong with a Rotten Tomatoes rating that made my jaw drop! Despite the fact Lindsay Lohan's new comedy, which follows two exes who realize their partners are siblings, made me laugh out loud, it only got a RT rating of 36 percent and audience rating of 59 percent, as well as an IMDb rating of 5.8 out of 10. Yikes.

Four Christmases (2008) — On Hulu

New Line Productions

In my opinion, Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon are a match made in Heaven in Four Christmases, which follows their characters Brad and Kate as they go through four separate family gatherings on Christmas Day. Unfortunately, it looks like audiences disagree because the movie got a 5.7 out of 10 on IMDb and a 47 percent Rotten Tomatoes audience rating (with only a 25 percent from RT itself!!).

I'll Be Home For Christmas (1998) — On Hulu

Walt Disney Pictures

In I'll Be Home For Christmas, Jake (Jonathan Taylor Thomas) returns home for the holiday hoping that his estranged dad (Gary Cole) will get him a porsche...but winds up getting left with nothing but a Santa suit in the middle of the desert thanks to the football team. To make matters worse, his GF Allie (Jessica Biel) has no clue what happened to him, and decides to hitchhike with Jake's nemesis Eddie (Adam LaVorgna).

Even though it has a ton of elements that could make for an entertaining movie, this flick only got a 23 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, along with a 41 percent audience rating, and a 5.5 out of 10 on IMDb.

The Christmas Candle (2013) — On Tubi

EchoLight Studios

Despite the fact historical films like A Christmas Carol are beloved by so many, critics consider The Christmas Candle one of the worst Christmas movies. The story follows a minister (Hans Matheson) in 1800s England who finds himself in a standoff against townspeople (including Samantha Barks) who believe a candle, and an angel's touch, offer a miracle every Christmas Eve.

The movie only got a 22 percent on Rotten Tomatoes (despite the fact it has a 74 percent audience rating), and a 6.3 out of 10 on IMDb.

​Tyler Perry's A Madea Christmas (2013) — On Tubi

KC Bailey/Lionsgate

Tyler Perry continues to be a fan favorite, proven by the fact that even though A Madea Christmas got a 21 percent on RT and a 5.1 out of 10 on IMDb, its RT audience score is 70 percent!

The Christmas movie follows Madea (Tyler Perry) and her niece Eileen (Anna Maria Horsford) on a journey to surprise Eileen's daughter Lacey (Tika Sumpter). Turns out, the reason Lacey didn't come home is she eloped! But it's with a character played by Chad Michael Murray, so I'm more than willing to press play on this one.

The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006) — On Disney+

Walt Disney Studios

The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause was one of my favorite movies as a kid, and apparently the sentiment is not shared. This threequel follows Scott Calvin/Santa Claus (Tim Allen) goes toe-to-toe with Jack Frost (Martin Short) in a battle for the North Pole.

The movie only has a 17 percent RT rating and a 39 percent audience score, plus a 4.8 out of 10. Big yikes.

Deck the Halls (2006) — On Hulu

20th Century Fox/20th Century Studios

This horrible Christmas movie pairs up Matthew Broderick and Kristen Chenoweth three years after their stint in Disney's The Music Man, and follows Steve (Broderick) whose detailed, perfect Christmas is ruffled by Danny's (Danny DeVito) arrival in the neighborhood. One thing leads to another and suddenly Steve and Danny are in a battle to be the best-decorated house on the block. Oh, did I mention Kristin Davis costars?!

Deck the Halls has a startingly low rating of six percent on Rotten Tomatoes alongside its audience rating of 30 percent and a 5.1 out of 10 on IMDb.

A Law For Christmas (2023) — On Tubi

WesleyBros Productions

This new movie might have come just in time for the holidays last year, but viewers are wishing Santa had kept it for himself. The story (which stars Savannah Lathem and Chase Giacomo) follows a young politician who swaps the city for the country, and her job for her true calling.

It sounds romantic, but based on the 1.1 out of 10 rating on IMDb...it's not.

The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)

CBS

I recently saw this special on air and, I'm sorry, I can totally see how some people consider this one of the worst Christmas movies. Aside from the fact it features OG Star Wars cast members like Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, and Harrison Ford, it just doesn't have the same magic as the movies we know and love.

The Star Wars Holiday Special follows Chewbacca and Han Solo as they journey to Kashyyyk (the Wookiee homeworld) for Life Day, and then have to entertain themselves when they're stopped by an Imperial blockade. Nothing says happy holidays like a 2.2 out of 10 IMDb rating and a 25 percent for both critics and audiences on RT. Unfortunately, it looks like this special isn't even available to stream.

Home Alone 3 (1997) — On Disney+

20th Century Fox/20th Century Studios

When are they gonna learn not to mess with originals?! Instead of picking up with Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin), Home Alone 3 introduces us to Alex Pruitt (Alex D. Linz) who has to defend his home from a new set of crooks when he's home sick.

The film has a 35 percent RT score and 27 percent audience rating, which is a far cry from Home Alone's respective 66 and 80 percents! The movie does star a young Scarlett Johansson though, so that's a plus.

Unaccompanied Minors (2006) — On Paramount+

John Bramley/Warner Bros. Entertainment

Being an unaccompanied minor might be every kid's dream but turns out, the movie's a nightmare. The story follows five stranded young adults (Dyllan Christopher, Tyler James Williams, Gia Mantegna, Quinn Shephard, and Brett Kelly) who take the opportunity to run buck wild in an airport (which...is still low-key a dream of mine TBH). Unfortunately their airport official (Lewis Black) and his assistant (Wilmer Valderrama) are not amused.

This bad Christmas movie has a 30 percent on RT with an audience rating of 35 percent, and an IMDb score of 5.4 out of 10.

The Perfect Holiday (2007) — On Peacock

Yari Film Group

The Perfect Holiday? Not so perfect. The movie follows divorcée Nancy (Gabrielle Union), whose youngest daughter Emily (Khail Bryant) plots to put a smile back on her mom's face. When she asks a store Santa Benjamin (Morris Chestnut) to give Nancy a compliment, she beings a chain of events that might just bring some Christmas magic back into their lives.

Sadly the movie only got a 19 percent RT score and 52 percent audience rating alongside an IMDb rating of 4.8 out of 10.

The Nutcracker: The Untold Story (2010) — Rent On Amazon Prime

Freestyle Releasing

And we're rounding out the list with what might be the worst Christmas movie of all; somehow The Nutcracker: The Untold Story got a ZERO PERCENT RATING on Rotten Tomatoes! How is that even possible?!

The movie follows Mary (Elle Fanning), who receives a magical nutcracker from her Uncle Albert (Nathan Lane). When the nutcracker comes to life and transports Mary to a magical land on Christmas night, she has to stand off against the evil Rat King — and rescue the nutcracker when he's kidnapped.

Unfortunately, the inspiring plot did not inspire viewers considering it got a 28 percent RT audience score and 4.1 out of 10 on IMDb.

Do you think these are the worst Christmas movies ever? Let us know your pick on Facebook!

First loves are TOUGH — especially when you start to see all the red flags you missed along the way once it's over. If you've been dissecting your own early love stories by reading Reddit threads or chatting with your girlfriends about their own relationship experiences, just know this: you're not alone! The entire Brit + Co staff even found ourselves discussing the first person we ever fell in love with...and the recounts did not disappoint. From realizing 19 seemed to be a common age for our all-time worst relationships to understanding how our first love was probably not as ideal as we originally thought, it made us wonder why we couldn't pinpoint red flags back then.

Licensed Psychotherapist Prerna Menon, founder of Boundless, LCSW-PLLC and Licensed marriage and family therapist Joseph Cavins, LMFT have a few thoughts that have helped us decode the precarious time in our lives.

Here's why some of us ignored how awful our first love might've been

1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.

Savannah Dematteo

I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.

"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.

As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."

Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.

2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.

Keira Burton

While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."

Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.

Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."

3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.

Luis Zambrano

Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?

Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.

You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says

4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.

Adely

*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."

Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.

4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.

Pavel Danilyuk

Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.

Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.

I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."

5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.

Ketut Subiyanto

Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."

At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.

What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?

Andrea Piacquadio

First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."

I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.

"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.

Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.

Here are Menon's tips:

  • Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
  • Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.

Anastasia Nagibina

I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?

I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.

"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."

Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."

He wants you to consider these things:

  • Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
  • Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
  • Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.

Menon's final piece of advice is similar in that she encourages you to be "self-critical, self-aware, and self-nourishing." She doesn't want you to be afraid to be "clear and transparent about your expectations for the relationship" either. Though we weren't a fan of the outcomes of our first real romantic relationships, they've made us wiser. So, shout out to our first loves for being the worst because they've become our best learning lessons.

That's not all! We have even more helpful articles about relationships & family if you're looking for everything from celebrity couples to navigating hard conversations during the holidays.

No matter how many times I rewatch The Vampire Diaries, there's nothing like seeing a cast reunion — and the weekend of December 6, we finally got to see our three favorite Mystic Falls gals together again! Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King were just some of The Vampire Diaries cast members who reunited for Epic Con to chat all things Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline...but things took a turn in the middle of the interview when one of the backdrops almost fell on Nina!

Keep reading to see what happened during The Vampire Diaries cast reunion with Nina Dobrev, Kat Graham, and Candice King.

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Even after all these years, Bonnie and Caroline are still saving Elena #tvd #thevampirediaries #ninadobrev #candiceking #katgraham #elanagilbert #carolineforbes #bonniebennett #epiccons

As someone who's done plenty of interviews myself, I know how fast a situation can spiral — and this interview accident is crazy. While talking on stage about the show, one of the backdrops begins to lean forward, and right before it falls on top of Nina, Candice and Kat quickly move to push it in the opposite direction.

"I don't want to see any 'Bonnie saves the day' memes," Kat jokes, referencing the fandom's love for Bonnie consistently helping the group throughout the show's eight-season run. "I don't want to see it, I don't want to hear it!" You can also see a relieved Nina hug Candice before revealing she thought it was a spider!

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In addition to this "Bonnie saves the day" moment (sorry, Kat, I couldn't help it!), the internet went crazy when Nina posted a video of her, Candice, and Kat recreating a photo they took during season 1 — especially after rumors have circulated for years that Kat Graham was mistreated on The Vampire Diaries set.

While these rumors have never been outright confirmed, fans have paid very special attention to what Kat has said...especially when she confirmedshe was the lowest-paid cast member and cried over her natural hair after revealing she wasn't really allowed to have an afro while filming.

"Love you girls so much!!!!!! 🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️" Kat commented on Nina's post, while a fan added, "And now the rumors can definitely be ended 🫶🏼❤️." These women are so powerful and clearly love each other so much, and I will take any and every cast reunion we can get!

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When Brit + Co caught up with Ian Somerhalder, he also expressed how much he loved filming The Vampire Diaries. "Every single day it was a laugh," he says. "I mean we had to be serious, you're running from ghosts and vampires and stuff, and you know, someone makes a fart joke and a 130 people erupt in laughter, there's only so much you can run for your life."

And thank goodness, Ian confirms just how much fun the cast had! "We laughed, that's how we kept each other sane," he says. "I spent 8 years on the show and now it's [been] 15 years. It's my longest relationship."

"I cannot believe it's been 15 years," he continues. "And so everyone who's seen the show, watched the show, supported us — and me — in any way, shape, and form regarding the show, I thank you from the bottom of my heart."

What would your dream The Vampire Diaries reunion look like? Let us know on Facebook!