18 Ways to Give Back at Your Wedding

Kathryn Wahl
Jul 02, 2015

Becoming and remaining socially conscious in your everyday life is becoming easier and easier. We can buy jewelry, bags, headphones and candles that will help improve the lives of others. When it comes to your wedding — a day that’s mostly all about you — it’s nice to know you extended your joy to the lives of others even if it was in a small way. You can contribute in the gifts you give to your wedding party, the wine you choose to serve and even with the dress you walk down the aisle in. Say “I Donate” while saying “I Do” with these 18 ways to give back.

1. Seeded Invitations: Print your invitations on seed paper, then your guests can plant it and watch the wildflowers (or herbs) grow by the time you say “I do!” No one has to feel bad about contributing to the growing waste problem because you gave back in a very green way. Eco-friendly invites are also a cool environmentally and socially responsible route to take. (via Botanical Paperworks)

2. Barcode Scan: Here’s a quick and easy way for guests to view your list of charities by having a scannable barcode. (Photo via CarolineRo)

3. Charitable Wine: Serve others while you serve drinks. Benefit Wines and One Hope Wine lets you shop by cause, and a percentage of the proceeds are donated to the charity of your choice. (Photos via Benefit Wines and One Hope At Home)

4. TOMS Shoes: You can’t go wrong with some TOMS (for every pair of shoes, they give a pair to a child in need). Their wedding collection has options for the whole wedding party. (via Brandon Shafer)

5. Caffeinated Causes: If you’re having a barista at your wedding or are giving beans away as a favor, choose a company that’s helping make the world and the lives of others a better place. (via Jack Boyd Art)

6. Plan a Charitable Outing: Instead of hosting a bachelor/bachelorette party or luncheon, consider having a charitable outing where you can all bond over something more meaningful than making wedding favors. (Photo via Lucky Shops)

7. Donate Your Flowers: Companies such as Full Bloom “recut, repurpose and recycle donated, gently used blooms into beautiful bedside bouquets for patients in hospitals, hospice care, nursing homes and other long-term care facilities.” (via Full Bloom)

8. Little Gifts: A great addition to gift baggies for your girls on your bachelorette or wedding day can include an organic/fair trade lip balm such as these from Poppy Soap Co. 5% of the sales go to women shelters in the U.S. (via Poppy Soap Co)

9. Donate or Buy a Wedding Dress: Companies such as The Bride Project have a collection of used dresses and bridal salon-donated dresses for sale. Plus, proceeds go to families affected by cancer. (via The Brides Project)

10. A Gift Within a Gift: You can give back without leaving your guests empty handed by gifting them a card with the donation on their behalf, a sugar cookie for humans and a treat for their pup. (via Marry This)

11. A SoKind Registry: Here’s a registry where you can personalize what you really need and care about as opposed to just products. Registry items include experiences, homemade goods and charitable donations. (via SoKind Registry)

12. Truffles for a Cause: Another gift-within-a-gift idea, these gourmet chocolates are included with part of your purchase and give a gift to a charity of your choice. (via Truffles For a Cause)

13. Cards for Causes: Even when the wedding is over, you can continue to give with your “Thank You” cards. CFC donates “20% of the revenue generated by a customer’s order to a charity selected by the customer.” (via Cards for Causes)

14. Give Back Gift Table: Create a display table of gifts that represent the most important causes to you and your families. (via One.org)

15. Guest’s Choice Donations: List your favorite philanthropic causes and have guests choose which one they feel most connected to by writing a little note and placing it in a jar. (via Philip Ficks)

16. Donate Leftover Food: Many food pantries, banks and rescue programs will benefit from the food you would have otherwise thrown out. Check with your local food bank and caterer about what kind of food is accepted. (via The Daily Meal)

17. Charity Wedding Venues: If you haven’t booked a location yet, consider choosing a venue such as a historical home, university, museum or nature preserve owned by a non-profit. Your rental fee will go toward a good cause. Or try a charity-owned venue that’s set up to give part of your rental fees to a righteous cause. (Photo via Luke & Mallory Photography)

18. Buy Conflict-Free Diamonds: Buy conflict-free and fair-trade jewelry for yourself and your fiancé. (Photo via Etsy)

Have you found other meaningful ways to make a difference? If so, share them with us in the comments.

(Additional reporting by Ginger Rudolph)

How To Respectfully Decline Being A Bridesmaid Without Ending A Friendship

27 Dresses is a fun story until you think about how much Jane (Kathryn Heigl) spent for each and every one of those weddings. There are engagement parties, bridal showers, bachelorette parties, bridesmaid dresses, shoes, jewelry — I mean the list of costly responsibilities goes on and on and on. Imagine doing that 27 times.

Wedding events aren't just a casual affair anymore either — the financial obligations for wedding guests and bridal parties continue to rise steadily. According to a 2023 study from The Knot, the average cost of a bridesmaid's dress is $130. Business Insider reports that you can expect to spend $1,200 for bachelorette parties on average. Just being a wedding guest alone has an average price tag of $580, according to another study by The Knot. Suddenly, from your dress to the destination bach to the delicate (and likely expensive) stemware you got the couple as a gift, you're potentially spending thousands of dollars on a wedding that's not even your own.

And while you likely love the bride asking you to be in her wedding party very much...is there a way you can politely decline? Especially if you're trapped for cash or trying to save for a major financial goal? HerFirst100k's Tori Dunlap would like to think so! And it doesn't have to be this friendship-altering event either. With Dunlap's tips, you should be well on your way to the happy couple's good graces without paying an arm and a leg to earn it.

Photo by Karolina Kaboompics

When turning down a bridesmaid offer, Dunlap suggest using the "sandwich method" here — AKA saying something complimentary, giving the bad news, and ending on another positive, complimentary note. Seems simple enough, right?

She suggest saying, "I'm so excited for your wedding! Thank you so much for thinking of me! I am so honored. However, at this time I really can't afford the commitment of being a bridesmaid, but I would love to support you in any other way I can."

With this phrasing Dunlap says you're accomplishing three key things:

  1. Setting expectations
  2. Validating the friendship
  3. Maintaining your own financial boundaries
In doing this, you're ensuring that you've done and said everything you can kindly and upfront so that you don't leave the bride on the hook or disappointed. This should keep your relationship in tact — and if it doesn't, that maybe says more about the situation than your polite decline. Regardless, now you don't have to worry about going into debt for someone else's wedding, so you're able to spend mindfully and maintain your personal finance goals.

How would you decline being a bridesmaid? Let us know in the comments, and follow the convo on Facebook!

Header image via Caleb Oquendo

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The Real Ages Of The ‘Outer Banks’ Cast Will Shock You

If there's one thing that unites all teen TV shows, it's consistently casting people who are way too old to play high schoolers. Riverdale, One Tree Hill, and even Stranger Things have all fallen victim to this trend, boasting a lineup of beefy, chiseled actors who are supposed to be 15 years old. And Outer Banks is no exception.

OBX season 4 part 2 drops on Netflix November 7, and if you're like me, you're going down every rabbit hole to find out as much as possible about your favorite Pogues, which is why I scoured the internet to figure out the actors' ages — and how they compare to their character ages (including the cast member that's almost TWICE their character's age). Keep reading for the full scoop!

The 'Outer Banks' Cast Ages Vs. Their Characters

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

Madelyn Cline as Sarah Cameron

Sarah Cameron is 19 years old in Outer Banks season 4, while Madelyn Cline turns 27 on December 21.

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

Rudy Pankow as JJ Maybank (or is it JJ Groff now?)

JJ Maybank is around 19 years old when Wes Genrette asks the Pogues to find Blackbeard's treasure. Actor Rudy Pankow is 26.

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

Chase Stokes as John B. Routledge

While fearless leader John B. Routledge is also around 19, Chase Stokes is actually 32 years old. That makes him 13 years older than John B.!

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

Madison Bailey as Kiara Carrera

In Outer Banks season 4 Kie Carrera's 19 years old. In real life, Madison Bailey is 25.

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

Carlacia Grant as Cleo Anderson

Cleo Anderson seems to be around the same age as the rest of the Pogues, which would make her 19. Actress Carlacia Grant is 33 years old.

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

Jonathan Daviss as Pope Heyward

Pope Heyward is in the same grade as JJ, Kie, and John B., which would mean he's also 19 during Outer Banks season 4. Jonathan Daviss turned 24 in February.

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

Drew Starkey as Rafe Cameron

Rafe Cameron started the series at 19, which would make him 22 now. Drew Starkey just turned 31 on November 4. (Happy late birthday Drew!)

Jackson Lee Davis/Netflix

Austin North as Topper Thornton

Topper Thornton is probably 19 years old in OBX 4, while Austin North is 28 in real life.

Check out How Old The Bridgerton Cast Is for more shocking celeb revelations ;).

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12 Sweet Bridesmaid Gift Ideas That Show Your Appreciation For Your Bridal Party

You've already picked your wedding date and the close friends you want to be by your side on your special day, but there's still one thing you need to do: sort through bridesmaid gift ideas! While you don't have to go all-out with a bridesmaid "proposal" gift basket (though those are super cute), I'm a firm believer in showing people how much you appreciate them (and their time) by sometimes surprising them with a gift or two. Don't know where to start? I've got you're back. Here are 12 sweet bridesmaid gift ideas, from adorable accessories to beloved beauty products, that'll be remembered for a lifetime!

Fujifilm UO Exclusive INSTAX MINI 12 Instant Camera

One really lovely bridesmaid gift you can gift someone is this compact instant camera! It has a built-in selfie mirror, comes with flash control for the perfect exposure, and will totally remind you of all your fave Instagram pics circa 2014. Plus, your friend will get super cute pics in less than 10 seconds!

Skims Hotel Shine Short Sleeve Button Up Sleep Set (Snow)

If your maid of honor can't stop talking about Bridgerton, surprise her with a sleep set that she can comfortably lounge in while binge watching every season. The drawstring shorts have an elastic waist so she'll be able to adjust them as she pleases.

Peas Pink Memory Custom Fluffy Slippers

Who doesn't love fluffy slippers? They'll definitely be appreciated the morning of your wedding as you and your bridesmaids are getting ready, but I'd like to think their wear goes way beyond one day. And when they're personalized, your bridesmaids will know you took great care to get this thoughtful gift for them.

If you want, you can even get yourself a pair so everyone can take cute and coordinated 'getting ready' pics!

Papier Tulip Vase Wellness Journal

Everyone could use a little self-care, especially the bridesmaid who seems to have her hands full with everything from Pilates to being a full-time entrepreneur. She'll find 12-weeks of pages geared towards tracking her goals, habits, and anything she's extremely grateful for.

Olive & Piper Mini Bordeaux Stud Earrings (Gold)

The bride isn't the only one who should get something shiny and sparkly! Surprise your matron of honor — or any of your bridal party — with these gorgeous earrings the morning of your wedding to let her know how much you appreciate her.

They're hypoallergenic and nickel-free, so she doesn't have to worry about having an allergic reaction while wearing them.

Mint & Lily Personalized Tie the Knot Bracelet

Have a bridesmaid who can't get enough of customizing virtually everything she owns? Show her that you've noticed by surprising her with this 'Tie the Knot' bracelet! It's made of waterproof stainless steel, comes with a personalized charm, and has a high rating of 4.7 stars on Mint & Lily!

Benevolence LA Store Plush Velvet Jewelry Box (Emerald Green)

I'm sure we all have that one friend who complains about misplacing her favorite dainty necklaces and earrings. Take the weight off her shoulders by gifting her this plush velvet jewelry box!

Topicals Faded Under Eye Brightening & Clearing Eye Masks

Did one of your bridesmaids enjoy your bachelorette party a little too much and has dark circles the morning of your wedding? Tell her not to panic because you've got a tiny gift for her in the form of Topicals Brightening & Clearing Eye Masks! They're hydrating and plumping so all signs of the night before will disappear after tosses these on!

Yes Way Rosé, Southern France

Bridesmaid gift ideas roundup wouldn't be complete without a little booze — especially when it's a pretty bottle of rosé that's budget-friendly! It tastes like crisp rose with notes of ripe strawberry, citrus, and stone fruit so she'll be sipping on something that feels delicious as well as refreshing.

Gold Belly Arabesque — Box of 42 Macarons

You can never go wrong with a pretty box of gluten-free macarons! Some of the flavors your bridesmaid can enjoy munching on are:

  • Blackcurrant Violet
  • Caramel, Chocolate
  • Coffee, Lemon
  • Marie-Antoinette
  • Orange Blossom
  • Pistachio
  • Raspberry
  • Rose
  • Strawberry Candy
  • Vanilla

Simple Modern Trek 40oz Stainless Steel Lidded Tumbler Powder Coat (Pink)

It's not cliché to carry around a stainless steel tumbler anymore, especially if you have a bridesmaid who's known for slipping into her walking shoes and keeping up with her water intake on a daily basis. This one's a little less pricey than a Stanley, which really helps if you're buying one for every bridesmaid.

BÉIS 'The Medium Check-In Roller Suitcase (Atlas Pink)

If you're having a destination wedding and don't have a huge bridal party, surprise them with their very own BÉIS Atlas Pink carry-on roller suitcases! This expandable suitcase has a welcomed TSA lock, 360 degree wheels, and has the best interior organization I've ever seen.

I'm sure this will be one of the top bridesmaid gift ideas your wedding party will thank you for!

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Lead image via Etsy

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Bethany Joy Lenz Wants To “Turn Back Time” After Revealing Sophia Bush Friendship Fell Apart During ‘One Tree Hill’

One Tree Hill star Bethany Joy Lenz basically broke the internet when she revealed she was in a cult for 10 years — and just how much it affected her time on the teen drama. Her new book Dinner for Vampires chronicles her experience joining the Big House Family Cult, and the actress told Call Her Daddy's Alex Cooper she even distanced herself from the rest of the cast because of how controlling the group became. Unfortunately, that included her newfound friendship with Sophia Bush.

"Sophia herself was also hilarious and a bit mischievous, always down for an impulsive adventure," Bethany writes in her book (via People). Even though the pair started off the show so close they adopted puppies together, they quickly drifted, and Bethany adds, "I soon realized I wasn't equipped to get too close to Sophia."

"As bubbly and compassionate as she was, she was even more intelligent...Her mind could have been put to good use by NASA — except, of course, she's so beautiful the astronauts would never want to leave Earth," she continues. "I failed to notice that she was also trying hard...Frequently favored and constantly underestimated in life because of her beauty, Sophia worked obsessively at proving her value."

This honestly sounds pretty familiar to Brooke's character arc on the show — and it reminds me of the fact Sophia Bush said Mark Schwann and the writer's room wrote their personal struggles into the show. "They made practice of taking advantage of people's personal lives," she said on an episode of Dax Shepherd's Armchair Expert podcast. "Deeply personal things that were happening in their lives and they would wind up in storylines. It wasn't OK."

Bethany Joy Lenz continues that despite the fact her and Sophia hit it off at the beginning of filming, she "was using religion as my benchmark."

"My budding friendship with sweet Sophia became a casualty of this, and instead of sitting shiva for my ego, I really f—ing wish I could turn back time, walk into her trailer, and give her a long, hard hug," Bethany says.

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- YouTube

While that breaks my heart more than a little, OTH fans everywhere are thankful the actresses have reunited since the show wrapped (and Bethany left the cult in 2012) for their Drama Queens rewatch podcast.

"We definitely talked about our time back then and what was hard and how great it was to reconnect and the feelings of unraveling things that were so mysterious to us at the time," Bethany told Alex Cooper. She also spoke on the recent rumored feud between her and Hilarie Burton, which fans began to discuss after they realized the actresses didn't follow each other on Instagram anymore.

"I love Hilarie,” she says. “I have always and will always and I don’t have any problem with her...There have been some bizarre misunderstandings that I really hope we can figure out one day, but I love that girl."

See The Adorable One Tree Hill Cast Reunion Pics for more on your favorite show.

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

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21 Comfort Shows To Watch This Week

There are few things we love more than binge-watching our favorite comfort shows. There's something about relaxing with a series that you know has a happy ending, cozy vibes, or your favorite fictional characters of all time. If you're in need of a relaxing activity that doesn't require you to leave the house, definitely consider grabbing some takeout from your favorite restaurant and curling up with a throw blanket to watch one of these TV shows. Take a deep break, press play, and escape for a little while.

Comfort Shows We Can't Stop Watching

Giulia Parmigiani/Netflix

Emily in Paris

Emily is over the moon when she lands her dream job in Paris, but with her kitschy fashion and sunny disposition, she finds that life in Paris isn't exactly what she envisioned. Not to mention the fact that her personal and professional lives get very messy very quickly. Catch up on the first four seasons on Netflix now!

Netflix

Sweet Magnolias

Dana Sue, Maddie, and Helen are lifelong friends who have been through decades of ups and downs, but their lives get even more complicated when they decide to open a spa together. Full of romance and Southern charm, this is the perfect show to warm you right down to your toes.

Netflix

The Great British Baking Show

While we're in the middle of baking season and pulling out all our favorite apple recipes, watch your fill of this fan-favorite show. Amateur bakers compete against one another for 10 weeks filled with signature and technical challenges as they hope to become the U.K.'s best baker.

The CW

Jane The Virgin

Jane has vowed to save herself for marriage but finds herself pregnant anyway when she's accidentally artificially inseminated, and her life — as well as the lives of the people around her — turns completely upside down. With storylines worthy of the most iconic telenovelas, Jane and her friends and family deal with everything from love and loss to drug lord masterminds.

Nicole Rivelli/2021 ViacomCBS, Inc.

Younger

After a guy at a bar mistakes her for a 20-something, 40-year-old Liza passes herself off as 26 to land a job in the publishing industry. But it turns out that the only thing harder than pretending you're in your 20s is making sure no one finds out your secret.

Fox

The Mindy Project

Inspired by the life of Mindy Kaling's mother, Mindy navigates both her personal life and her career as an OB/GYN. She strives to become the perfect woman with the perfect rom-com ending, but things never quite go according to plan, do they?

ABC

Sister, Sister

We're always down to watch a sitcom from our childhood, and this one is too good to miss. Fourteen-year-old twin sisters Tia and Tamera reunite after being separated at birth. When they decide to move in together, blending their families, life experiences, and personalities, hilarity ensues.

Warner Bros. TV

Friends

Doing their best to survive in New York City, six 20-somethings become best friends after life brings them together. Dealing with everything from career ups and downs to infertility to love and loss, they realize that they can get through anything if they stick together.

CBC

Schitt’s Creek

After their business manager embezzles all the money from their family business, the Rose family finds themselves completely broke. They have to rebuild their lives by moving to the only asset they were allowed to keep: a small town called Schitt's Creek. Perfect for anyone with a crazy family, this comedy will make you laugh and cry.

Netflix

Queer Eye

This is a great watch for any rainy day or when you just need something relaxing and fun for your lunch break. Filled with all kinds of food, fashion, culture, design, and grooming tips, the new Fab Five give emotional makeovers that change lives.

20th Century Fox Television

New Girl

After she discovers her boyfriend cheating on her, kind and awkward Jess finds herself living with three bachelors in L.A. Along with Jess's best friend CeCe, Jess and her roommates tackle complicated situations like loss, marriage, and breakups with a sense of humor that will make you laugh out loud.

Warner Bros. TV

Gilmore Girls

Navigating life in the intensely personal and interconnected town of Stars Hollow, Lorelai is an independent and feisty single mom who lives with her bookish, Ivy League-bound daughter Rory. Full of coffee, small-town traditions, and witty conversation, this is the perfect show to turn on when you want to get in the spirit for fall.

Glen Wilson/HBO

Insecure

This comfort show created by (and starring) Issa Rae focuses on the lives of two best friends. From issues in their romantic lives to awkward experiences at work, this series showcases the experience of Black women today with heart and humor that we can't get enough of.

Netflix

Selling Sunset

Agents at The Oppenheim Group in L.A. cater to luxurious and wealthy clients, all while proving just how seriously they take their jobs. Relationships are one of the most important things in the brokerage business, which means you're in store for some major drama.

Alison Cohen Rosa/Netflix

Dash & Lily

Dash can't stand Christmas; Lily can't get enough of it. When Dash finds Lily's hidden notebook full of riddles and questions, they begin to pass the messages back and forth across Manhattan and might just start to fall for each other in the process. This is the perfect watch for anyone who likes to get into the holiday spirit early — besides, what's more magical than Christmas in New York?

More Comfort Shows We Love

Fabio Lovino/HBO

White Lotus

We're still not over that season 2 finale, but if you haven't caught up yet, no worries. Here's the rundown for this season: the new group of vacationers — from an English expat and Hollywood producer to lawyer and investments manager — come together for a beautiful, complex, and shocking week in Sicily.

Des Willie/Lucasfilm Ltd.

Andor

Taking place before Rogue One and A New Hope, Andor follows Cassian Andor (Diego Luna) and his friends and family during a time when a Rebel Alliance is beginning to form against the Galactic Empire. We love how complicated and complex the storylines are within this series, as well as the worldbuilding.

Netflix

Harry & Meghan

This docu-series follows Prince Harry and Meghan Markle throughout their romance and after their decision to leave the English Royal Family in January of 2020.

Netflix

Wednesday

Jenna Ortega stars in this record-breaking Netflix series about the iconic Addams Family character who has to investigate a string of murders at her new boarding school. Aside from how amazing the series itself is, we're totally going for Wednesday Addams-chic with our winter style.

Netflix

Firefly Lane

Katherine Heigl and Sarah Chalke star in this series that follows two 40-somethings who have had an inseparable bond since their teens as they navigate life and love.

Matt Grace/Prime Video

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power

This series serves as a prequel to The Lord of the Rings series, and takes place thousands of years before the adventures that we know so well. It showcases how the different kingdoms in Middle Earth were formed, following different groups of characters as they embark on different adventures around the fictional world.

What's your favorite comfort show to watch? Let us knowon Twitter and subscribe to our email newsletter for the latest entertainment content!

This post has been updated.

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