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These cruise escapes are aboard the top cruise lines, according to U.S. News Travel Best Cruises 2024. Bon voyage!

Carnival Alaskan Cruise

Set sail for Alaska from San Francisco or Seattle aboard The Edge, with ocean-facing pools, a rooftop garden, and the Magic Carpet, an open-air venue that transforms between live music, a bar, and a specialty restaurant. Dine everywhere from gourmet French bistros to fresh sushi and experience Alaska's breathtaking glaciers and rugged coastlines from the ship’s decks or your private balcony. Choose from a wide range of activities such as whale watching, dog sledding, hiking, or exploring Alaskan towns like Juneau, Ketchikan, and Skagway.

Carnival Caribbean Cruise

Visit stunning Caribbean islands like the Antigua, Bahamas, Saint Lucia, and St. Thomas, where you can relax on white-sand beaches, snorkel in clear waters, or explore local culture. On the ship, enjoy live music, comedy performances, and a variety of dining options. There's a water park and the Cloud 9 Spa with massages, facials, and thermal suites. Got kids? There's a kids camp too!

Viking European Cruise

Discover Scandinavia by sea with overnights in Stockholm, Oslo and scenic Bergen, plus day trips to charming Ålborg and Gdańsk, Berlin, and Copenhagen. Sail through majestic Norwegian fjords on this stunning escape. The ship offers multiple pools and shops, as well as a cinema, a live performance theater, a jazz lounge, a spa, a fitness center and a salon. Learn about each spot from the onboard historian, and learn about each destination's unique cuisine hands-on at the onboard cooking school.

Viking Mediterranean Cruise

Sail to historical cities like Rome, Athens, and Barcelona for an inspiring and relaxing escape. Onboard, enjoy spacious rooms, luxe amenities, and gourmet dining inspired by local Mediterranean flavors. Viking’s small, elegant ships provide a more intimate vibe, complete with cultural lectures, live music, and spa amenities.

Holland America Hawaii Cruise

Sail to Hawaii’s lush landscapes and pristine beaches, visiting iconic destinations like Honolulu, Maui, and the Big Island. Onboard, enjoy ocean views from your roomy room and fun live events and great dining. Explore volcanic craters, waterfalls, and tropical rainforests during shore excursions for an unforgettable tropical escape.

Why do some people experience anxiety during flights?

Do you remember where you were going the first time your airplane anxiety reared its ugly head? My first memory involves my first plane ride to Texas. My family always drove before, but the 10+ hour road trips started taking a toll on everyone. Since I was already familiar with car accidents we'd driven by in the past, my heart was racing as we waited for the plane to take off — if cars could crash, what could happen to airplanes? I'll spare you the details, but one of the flight attendants had to stand by me and help me count to 10 a few times before I calmed down.

If you're wondering where your airplane anxiety stems from too, Captain Bunn says anxiety typically occurs for two reasons. "We have two systems that try to take care of our wants and needs while at the same time keeping us safe. One — let's call it System A — is word-based. We can interface with it consciously. If that were our only system, we could control anxiety with logical thoughts about how safe flying is."

I for one would've loved to verbally tell my anxiety to take a hike when I was kid, but it turns out I needed a little more reassurance. "System B operates outside of consciousness because it's experience-based," Captain Bunn says. "After an experience has taken place, System B assigns a code to the experience. A positive experience is assigned a positive code. A negative experience is assigned a negative code," he explains.

Things get interesting after System B assigns those codes. "The next time that experience presents itself as a possibility, our amygdala reads its code. A positive code will cause good feelings. A negative code will cause bad feelings. Feelings we get when the amygdala reads the code determine whether we go ahead with the experience or back away from it," Captain Bunn says.

Another explanation, according to Captain Bunn, comes straight from neuroscientists. "The neural mechanisms underlying emotional valence are at the interface between perception and action, integrating inputs from the external environment with past experiences to guide the behavior of an organism. Depending on the positive or negative valence assigned to an environmental stimulus, the organism will approach or avoid the source of the stimulus" (via National Library of Medicine).

It's like putting your hand on a hot stove whenever you've never done it before. You may not immediately register the pain, but it eventually comes and you tell yourself you're never doing something like that again. Every neural path and nerve ending knows what will happen if you and wants to avoid feeling that.

How does this relate to airplane anxiety?

Our anxiety wants to do everything it can to protected us from perceived threats, right? So imagine being in a situation you have no control of, like flying. You know that you're a passenger on your flight, but you're not flying the plane nor are you able to dictate your flight's path.

"In a traumatic experience, we are not in control. Thus, not being in control is assigned a negative code. In a traumatic experience, we are not able to escape. Not being able to escape is also assigned a negative code. As we go through life and have traumatic experiences, the negative codes assigned to no control and to no escape get more and more negative," says Captain Bunn.

He shares that once enough stress hormones are released, they can trigger panic no matter how safe we are. "For example, we could panic when in an elevator, getting a MRI scan, or boarding an airliner," he explains.

When you break this down, it looks like this:

• Our System A knows flying is safe enough to do.
• If flying doesn’t feel safe, it is because of System B. To feel safe, we need to update System B.

How can we adjust when things feel scary?

Having anxious thoughts can make you feel like things will never change, but Captain Bunn knows that's not true. He stressed that even an imaginary experience or a memory can "update" System B — AKA trick your brain into thinking everything really is gonna be okay. "That is what we do in the SOAR program using the strengthening exercise. We apply a positive experience to situations System B regards as negative," he says.

Though negative codes can be assigned by System B, not every negative feeling is a result of something traumatic. "Some negative codes comes from vicarious experiences. For example, when the news tells you about a terrifying experience on a plane, as you imagine what those people felt, your vicarious experience assigns a negative valence code to flying," Captain Bunn says.

He believes you need to monitor how much news you pay attention to so that you're not making fear-based decisions. One-off experiences reported in the media aren't emblematic of the entire flying experience, so there's no use obsessing over one story about bad turbulence. According to Trip.com, there are approximately 100,000 flights a day — that means the one flight you may have heard about was literally 1 in 100,000 flights just that day. More often then not, flights are easy, breezy, and unremarkable.

How can someone feel safe during turbulence?

Turbulence is real and it's not going away, but you don't have to lose faith in flying because of it. Captain Bunn says, "Severe turbulence is extremely rare. In thirty years of airline flying, I experienced thirty seconds of severe turbulence." He went on to say that the chances of experiencing severe turbulence are so small, so you really don't need to fret about it.

If you still think there's more to worry about, here's the breakdown from the Federal Aviation Administration of the injuries turbulence has caused in recent years:

• How many passengers were injured due to turbulence last year in the U.S.? 3.
• How many passengers were injured due to turbulence in 2022 in the U.S.? 4
• How many passengers were injured due to turbulence in 2021 in the U.S.? 1.
• How many passengers were injured due to turbulence in 2020 in the U.S.? 0.

Knowing this, Captain Bunn wants us to ask ourselves an important question. "How must time should we think about turbulence injury? How much time should the media devote to turbulence injury?"

He knows that the media is reporting that turbulence is getting worse based on factors like climate change, but he also wants you to understand that the odds you'll personally be injured because of it are slim.

How can I trust I don't have to worry about turbulence?

Captain Bunn says, "The valence codes associated with turbulence need to be shifted from negative to positive. This is where the SOAR Strengthening Exercise comes in. To update System B, we replace the negative code with positive code from a friend’s face, voice quality, and touch."

This speaks to a grounding technique I learned in therapy. It's easy to focus on potential negative outcomes, but we can shift our perspective by becoming aware of things we can see, touch, smell, hear, etc. In reframing your thinking, you can shape your experience and have a better overall flight.

1. We thought our first love was perfect and would argue with anyone who wanted us to take things slow with them.

I'll never forget the first time I fell in love at 19. I thought my ex was the "wind beneath my wings" because he had a great sense of humor and was creative like me. I told myself he was the person I was going to marry so I was offended when my parents didn't think he was mature enough to be in a serious relationship. If this sounds familiar, pull up a chair because Menon explains why we tend to idealize our first love.

"Your first love is your first experience with romantic love too, hence you typically see it with rose-colored glasses. The overwhelming emotion is often infatuation, which tends to overshadow the more critical and analytical part of our brain," she says. Sadly, this sounds like something my parents told me before but I couldn't fathom how true it was as a teen.

As the Clinical Director at Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, Cavins has seen this play out before too. He says, "In your first relationship, there is a tendency to put your partner on a pedestal. The excitement of new love can create a powerful emotional fog that makes it hard to see flaws clearly."

Essentially, this "excitement of having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner supersedes" our ability to questions things we normally wouldn't put up with, according to Menon.

2. We tried to ignore the how many times our first loves disagreed with our values or goals.

While some couples are able to make their relationship work despite having a different outlook on life, sometimes it can be a sign that things aren't going to work long-term. Cavins says, "One major red flag is disregarding differences in values or goals for the future. For instance, you wish to become a parent someday while your spouse swears this will never happen— or vice versa. Early on, you might dismiss these differences, believing love will conquer all. However, these mismatched priorities can lead to resentment and challenges over time."

Honestly, I probably should've ran whenever my ex would mock my belief in God only for us to have to attend his mother and stepfather's church whenever I visited. There was so much confusion there, but I tried to dismiss it as something he needed time to work out.

Menon adds, "If this relationship makes you feel like you'e standing in quick sand - where you are trying to move forward but often feel held back in your individual aspirations, it may not be the right fit for you."

3. We thought it was 'cute' when our first loves made suggestions about which friends to avoid or what clothes to wear.

Cavins says, "Excessively possessive behaviors are another red flag that people often ignore easily when they fall in love for the first time. People tend to justify such behaviors by citing that it's due to love or protective instincts." I'm all for being in a relationship where your partner's able to see different sides of a picture, but controlling behavior shouldn't come with that. What might that look like?

Cavins says, "Your partner may frequently check in on you, offer opinions on who you should spend time with, or subtly pressure you into making choices that suit them." For example, your partner could start off making suggestions about your style that slowly morph into them controlling everything you wear. Somehow I went from being a self-professed 'girly-girl' to trying to emulate the style of 'sneakerheads' in a short amount of time. Though I love wearing everything from New Balance to Niké sneakers now, it's in a way that feels cohesive with my style.

You may have brushed this kind of behavior off because, again, you thought it meant your first love wanted the best for you. "It is understandable that such behavior hypothetically may come off as pleasant or affirming; however, they often signal an unhealthy dynamic of control rather than mutual respect," says

4. We always gave in when our first loves forced us to be affectionate.

*Sigh* I'm shaking my head for my younger self because there were many times I didn't advocate for myself in my first romantic relationship. I'd often give in to affectionate or intimate moments despite wanting personal space so I wouldn't be seen as 'boring' or uninterested in my ex. Menon says, "Given the infatuation, your first relationship can feel all-consuming and often is codependent. Hence, this may result in you overlooking that your partner does not respect your boundaries or desire for personal space."

Partly because the excitement of the relationship makes you want to spend all of your time together, until you don't. And then, it is often too late to correct a maladaptive historical pattern.

4. We always made excuses for why our partners would shower us with affection only to ignore us days later.

Let's be clear, 'love bombing' feels confusing and awful. No one should make you feel like you're the center of their universe only to ignore your calls or texts days later. But, this probably happened while you were with your first love. Cavins says, "There's a tendency for people to brush off their first love's emotional unavailability. When, for example, a partner is not responsive and not engaging in intimate discussions or does not express their feelings, some may rationalize this as them being 'just not ready.'" If that were the case, this person wouldn't have made you feel like being with you is something they truly wanted.

Of that, Cavins believes "it's important to recognize these behaviors early" because "they can result in a one-side emotional investment that leaves one party feeling unfulfilled in the long run." Sadly, my first love would have days where he was super sweet to me only to feel like I was smothering him with attention. This is also the same person who begged me to remain in our romantic relationship when he went to basic training although I felt it would be better if we chose to be friends. Imagine my surprise (and hurt) when he told me we should have an open relationship months after getting stationed for the first time.

I should've known better because he was never 100% on board with the idea of marriage until after he graduated from basic training. Cavins calls this "emotional disconnectedness." His further explanation is this is "when the initial chemistry between the partners subsides that emotional attachment matters." To avoid this, he feels "identifying and addressing any of these is critical in a case where you are looking to create a strong and healthy bond."

5. We ignored the ways our former partner blamed us whenever they got in trouble with their parents or an authority figure.

Did your first love have a hard time taking responsibility for things that went wrong by gaslighting you to absorb the blow of their mistakes? If you've furiously nodding, we should start a support group. Cavins says, "A key sign is a lack of personal or relational growth. Healthy relationships encourage mutual development, but if one partner stays stuck in old patterns while the other grows, it can create frustration and distance."

At no point should you be the reason why your first love got in trouble after answering their parents' house phone late at night after telling you to call at a certain time. It's situations like this that should've alerted us to awful behavior, but I can see how easy it is to dismiss things.

What if I'm in love for the first time and recognize these signs?

First, my heart goes out to you for being in a relationship that doesn't feel healthy. It hurts when we realize the person we thought was so great is anything but. The road to letting go of idealization may be long, but you can and will get better. Cavins says, "In the process of self-healing and recovery, the first step that must be taken is self-reflection. Ask yourself all of the necessary questions that arise, such as what this relationship means for you, what your boundaries are, and what this partnership has revealed about you as an individual."

I keep saying this, but relying on journal prompts can help you unpack a lot of things and, thankfully, Cavins agrees. He says, "You could always opt to talk to a specialist or being journaling in order to find some closure and draw meaning from the experience." Also, he wants you to start "making new memories." But, don't be passive about it.

"You will have to engage yourself in activities that will help redirect the focus of your thoughts. This could include joining a new class, engaging in a hobby, or traveling that involves some independence. These experiences can help shift your mindset from loss to growth and reinforce your identity outside of the relationship," says Cavins.

Another important thing you can do is "solicit help from others," according to him. "Calling on people you trust, like friends and family, to talk about these feelings can significantly help in healing," he says. This also helped me navigate life outside of my first real romantic relationship, reminding me that I still had a lot of love in my life that didn't begin or end with my ex.

Here are Menon's tips:

• Let yourself grieve — Let this loss run its course. If you need to feel angry, sad, distraught, nostalgic. Allow yourself the full breadth of this experience. If I ask you right now "don't think a out a yellow monkey", I can bet you just thought of a yellow monkey. We call this "the imp of the mind". When you reject feelings, or thoughts, they come back 10 times more fiercely. To move the feeling along, we must let ourselves experience it.
• Rediscover your identity (So important) — Your first love is often intertwined with self-discovery, and identity formation. Reconsider your goals, interests, values, friendships and hobbies and try to build your own sense of identity and individuality.

I saw my first love again and it feels like we're falling in love all over. Can we have a happy and healthy relationship?

I'm not going to tell you to run even though I told my ex I never wanted to speak or talk to him again. You could easily reconnect with the first person you fell in love with and realize that you're both in a place where you can have something beautiful. However, Cavins and Menon want you to be mindful if you're in this position.

"Reconnection is possible," begins Menon, "if both parties can objectively claim that they have grown emotionally and resolved the issues that held their relationship back." But, "if the reconnection is built on one person growing and the other not, it is likely to fail," she alerts. You'll need to "proceed with caution," she says because "your first love was a nostalgic era in your life that can cloud your judgement." To put it more clearly, she doesn't want you confuse "the fuzzies" with a "true knowing that the two of you can make it work."

Cavins says, "Reconnecting with a first love can trigger a strong wave of emotions, but it is important that such a decision is made with caution and a strong sense of pragmatism. Personal growth is a primary factor. Each party in the relationship must ask themselves how they have grown and evolved as individuals over time. If past patterns of conflict, immaturity, or unhealthy dynamics remain unaddressed, the same issues could resurface."

He wants you to consider these things:

• Are there any active relationships or past engagements that would make it rather difficult? That's because the feelings that come with reigniting old flames are very strong and can alter a person’s life, making it essential to start thinking from all angles before going ahead with it.
• Address previous challenges that caused the breakup in the first place. If the reasons behind the breakup have been resolved or do not exist anymore, then yes, meeting again has its prospects. However, keep in mind that, at times, memories can be selective and unfavorably distort the truth by overplaying the good qualities while avoiding the negative ones.
• Only rekindle things if both individuals are in a healthy emotional state and the decision is grounded in practical, mutual considerations—not just sentimentality or romanticized memories. Clear and honest discussions and an understanding of purpose are vital in ascertaining if rekindling the relationship will be worthwhile for both parties or if it will simply be an act of revisiting unresolved emotions.