12 Easy Swaps to Make Your Friendsgiving Table Feel More Grown Up

One of the biggest transitions into having an adult apartment is going from hand-me-down kitchen and housewares to sturdy pieces that feel like they are all your own. Sometimes we hold off because big fancy platters can be pricey (and you refuse to get rid of your plate and bowl set from IKEA — it was such a steal!). Plus, you’re unsure of just how often you’ll use that expensive piece day to day — if it’s collecting dust in your cabinet for most of the year, what’s the point? That said, you know it’s time to upgrade the way you coffee when you’re still brewing out of your college-era Coffee Mate and sipping out of a chipped mug. Let’s face it, it’s time for your table top to grow up too.

There’s no better time to make that upgrade than the holiday season. Whether you’re having people over for Friendsgiving or you’re hosting Christmas dinner for the first time, don’t settle for mismatched utensils and paper napkins. With just a little effort (and a small budget), you can make your Thanksgiving tablescape look way more pro by swapping out a few key pieces for ones that feel way more Pinterest-worthy. Start with these 12 picks below.

1. Ruby Rabbit Blush Wooden Cutlery Set ($15 for set of 24): These utensils have the perfect pastel pop and they’re eco friendly, too. Forget plastic flatware for good!

2. Anthropologie Chatoyant Carafe ($30): Keep the boring Brita in the fridge. This carafe will add a touch of elegance to your table. You can also use it beyond turkey for events like a ladies’ brunch (mimosas anyone?) or a wine carafe for a date night or dinner party.

3. Boutique Textiles Citrus Dinner Napkins ($28): These linens will add brightness to your table that paper napkins never could. Not only are they are reusable, but they’ll look just as good across your lap on those nights when you and your boo order takeout as they did on the dinner party table.

4. W&P Mason Jar Cocktail Shaker ($29): Here’s a cute and functional alternative to your old hand-me-down martini shaker, not to mention a welcome addition to any home bar.

5. Chemex Glass Coffeemaker ($39): Who doesn’t love a good pour over? This pot delivers delicious brew and will elevate you and your guests to coffee snob status like that. Plus, how much prettier is this to look at than your busted drip machine?

6. Leif Nouveau Tart Server ($20): Marie Antoinette much? These serving utensils come in a rainbow of colors, are easy to clean, and have a modern look while feeling old school. It’s the chicest alternative to old catering company serving ware.

7. KESS InHouse Weirdi Katt Cutting Board ($57): Who knew a cutting board could have such style? Use it to chop up hors d’ouvres and then as a serving tray for that finger food you just prepped. Your countertop never looked so artsy.

8. NoDa Design Studio Coaster Boat Set of 4 ($28): Time to toss the collection of cardboard discs. Whether it’s for your kitchen counter, coffee table or your patio ledge, you’ll want to use these coasters. The laser cut design makes a sleek addition to any surface.

9. Good Thing Paper Placemats ($17): Your thrifted cloth has probably seen better days (and has the stains to prove it). These placemats not only look great but if you dirty ’em, you can toss ’em! Until then, they’re a chic backdrop for even the messiest of guests.

10. Bracket Gem Treat Toppers ($15): Add some bling to your dessert table or appetizers with these gems. Way less boring than a tooth pick and way more reusable.

11. CB2 Branly Candle Holders ($11-$13) These aren’t your grandma’s candle holders. You’ll make your table top — or any other surface of your choosing — all the more modern with the geometric and metallic look of these bad boys.

12. Leif Ombre Paper Plates ($8 set of 8): If you’re gonna go with paper plates to avoid a dish pileup at the end of the night, use these. It goes without saying that these ombre plates make a gorgeous backdrop for your pies and other sweet treats. They also make a colorful addition to any BBQ, pizza party or cocktail party in the new year.

What kind of upgrades have you made to you made to your table top? Share your tips in the comments below!

The holidays are just around the corner, and if you can’t wait for all the festivities and family fun, you may already be planning your Christmas spread. With all the delicious food, drinks, and party games to be enjoyed, the dining table is a key part of everyone’s festive décor and is one of the ways to impress your guests.

Laying a beautiful Christmas tablescape doesn’t have to be expensive or overcomplicated, either: all you need is some good-quality staples, festive accessories, and a few of your own personal touches. To help get you started, Denby, one of Britain's oldest pottery manufacturers (their ceramics are stunning!), share their top tips on how to create a unique Christmas tablescape this year.

Plan out your tablescape ahead of time

Whether you shop for decorations a few weeks beforehand or even brainstorm ideas with a quick sketch, it’s wise to have a clear idea about the contents and layout of your table before the big day. If you’re not sure where to start, it often helps to decide on a color scheme or an overall theme and build from there. For instance, you might opt for a traditional look with red, green, and gold accents that remind you of Christmases gone by. Or, you may want to try out a more minimalist look this year and experiment with rising trends like eco-friendly decorations.

It's easy to get a little carried away when you’re being creative, but try to make sure that your table is still practical and comfortable for your guests, as well as looking beautiful. In between the decorations, centerpieces, and place settings, be sure to leave enough space for plates, glasses, serving dishes, and any other essential items you’ll need to use. This way, no one will feel cramped or short of space enjoying their meal! To save time, you may also want to lay your dining table the night before — this means you can focus on opening presents and preparing dinner on the day, knowing that you’ve got a beautiful tablescape ready and waiting.

Choose the right homeware

Even though they serve a practical function, your plates, bowls, and serving dishes play a large part in the overall aesthetic of your table too. You may have a dedicated set of ceramics that you use for Christmas, but if you don’t, it can be just as effective to use some of your favorite neutral staples. Especially if you’re using décor like a patterned tablecloth or bright centerpiece, you can balance this out by using classic pieces in understated colors. This is why investing in durable ceramics that last is always worthwhile: you can make use of them all year round.

Other essential pieces like cast-iron cookware, serving platters, and mugs are all perfect for the festive season, as they allow you to serve everything from appetizers and main meals to comforting hot drinks easily. As well as ceramics, don’t forget to add some of your best glassware to serve up the wine, Champagne, or festive cocktails you’ll toast with during dinner.

Using versatile or more neutral pieces like these also allows you to be more flexible. For example, if you need to add an extra seat at the table, using more understated homeware means you won’t have to use plates in drastically different colors or patterns. This will help you maintain a coherent theme for the table, even if your plans change to accommodate friends, family, or neighbors. After all, the more the merrier!

Forage for a natural centerpiece

With the popularity of eco-friendly Christmas decorations on the rise, why not make your own centerpiece with natural foliage? Not only is this a more sustainable way to decorate, but foraging in your local woodland area is a fun, festive activity you can do with the whole family. So, wrap up warm and look out for classic Christmas plants like holly, mistletoe, berries, and evergreen branches like fir or pine. Just be sure to only take what you need and never trespass onto private land when foraging.

When making your own centerpiece, you might take a more relaxed approach and simply lay out your plants across the middle of your table, interspersing this with candle holders, baubles, and any other accessories you have on hand. However, if you’re a little short on space you might make a smaller, more contained piece like a wreath or display them in a ceramic milk jug for a rustic, farmhouse look.

Add some personal touches

You may want to keep your theme more traditional and opt for a classic Christmas look, but if you want to add a little something different, then it’s always fun to include some personal touches — whether they’re for you or your guests. One way of doing this is with your place settings, as you can often make these yourself and have full creative freedom. You might leave a small gift box with a little personalized gift inside, adding a handwritten name tag for each guest. Or, keep it classic with simple name cards and add a few sprigs of the holly or mistletoe you foraged earlier.

Once your place settings are laid, you can also add a personal touch with the glassware you pick out for each guest. For example, if one of your family members loves to toast with a glass of Champagne, make sure to provide them with a nice crystal flute. Whether they like a glass of wine, whiskey, or a hot toddy, giving your guests the right glassware for their favorite drink is a little gesture that shows how much thought you’ve put in to make the perfect Christmas table for you and your loved ones.

Loving this advice and looking for more dining table inspo? Check out our favorite dining table decor to find some stunning pieces to add to your setup!

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Photos courtesy of Denby

We've been talking about discovering the best drugstore mascaras, matte lipsticks and brow gels, but did you know you're supposed to replace your makeup products annually? This is one of those things TikTok gets right because beauty doesn't have an immortal shelf life. If you're getting the ick thinking about that trusty concealer you've used the last few years, we don't blame you!

Before you start rage or panic-cleaning, I chatted with the experts to understand what to replace — and when you should replace them! After hearing from Shawnelle Prestidge (Makeup Artist and Founder/CEO of PRESTIDGE beauté) and Joey Healy(Advanced Esthetican and Founder of Joey Healy Eyebrow Collection), I feel way more confident with my beauty cabinet. Here's what you need to know!

TL;DR

  • You can find a product's PAO (period after opening) date — AKA expiration date — on the back of the packaging.
  • Mascaras and eyeliners have the shortest shelf lives, and they should be replaced around every 3 months.
  • Foundation and concealers should be replaced once a year.
  • Lipsticks can be replaced once a year, but lip glosses can last up to 18 months.
  • Powder-based products can last a year and a half to two years.
  • Nail polishes are good for up to three years.
  • Fragrances start to break down after five years.

How can someone check the expiration date for their makeup?

Rachel Weeks

How many times have you picked up your order from Sephora or Ulta without looking at every detail of your makeup products? We're guilty of being more concerned about adding something to our routine too so don't feel like you're being called out! If you're not 100% sure how to start being mindful about something's shelf life, Prestidge and Healy want to let you in on a little secret.

"It's actually pretty simple. There's something called a PAO symbol, which stands for 'period after opening.' You'll find it on the exterior of makeup products — sometimes on the product itself but always on the box," he says. Wondering what it looks like? Healy says, "The PAO symbol looks like a small jar with a number followed by the letter 'M,' which stands for months. For example, '3M' means three months, '6M' means six months, and '12M' means twelve months."

Prestidge also adds, "Brands often print batch codes that consumers can input into websites like CheckCosmetic to determine the production date." If you've yet to open your product, Healy says "A good rule of thumb is to assume it will last about twice as long. So, if the PAO says '6M,' the product is good for six months after opening and likely up to twelve months if unopened."

Do some makeup products have a longer shelf life than others?

Tima Miroshnichenko

Based on what Healy shares, it's evident different makeup products have longer shelf lives than others, and there are plenty of different factors that determine why. "Products like mascara and eyeliner, which are used around the eyes and tend to be liquids or creams, typically have the shortest shelf life due to their risk of bacterial growth. You should replace them every three months," he says. Excuse us while we collectively clutch our pearls.

Now that we've caught our breath, we can breathe a sigh of relief because Healy says that's the only products we have to replace a little quicker. "Foundation and concealer, which are also liquids, can usually last up to a year. Lipstick is good for about a year, while lip gloss can last around 18 months," he shares. Still, Prestidge feels you should be especially mindful of liquid and cream products because their shorter lifespans are attributed to "their high water content which fosters bacteria."

For those of us who love other face products, we have an even longer time to replace them. "Powders, like brow powders, bronzers, and blushes, have a much longer shelf life — usually a year and a half to two years," Healy explains. Prestidge says this is because "they contain fewer ingredients prone to bacterial growth." And for good measure, Healy shares we can keep nail polish for "three years before it becomes dry and clumpy," and fragrances for "five years before they start to break down."

What are the top signs it's time to replace makeup?

Element5 Digital

Not always good at keeping track of when you bought your makeup? No worries — there are some key signs you can recognize that your makeup is likely expired. Healy points out you'll be able to see that "the formula may have shifted or separated, or the product may have dried." More often than not, both he and Prestidge agree expired products will often smell rancid. "For example, brow gel can smell musty if it's been sitting unused for a year. If you're unsure, it's better to throw it out," encourages Healy.

Not only that, but Prestidge says to pay attention to your product's color. "If the product's color shifts, it's a a sign it's degraded," she says. Also, your skin will let you know when expired products are irritating it. "If you notice itching, redness, or breakouts after using a product, it might be expired, she alerts.

To avoid this, go an extra step further by using a "label maker to note the purchase date on your products, or keep a record in your phone," suggests Healy. This will help lessen the chance you're using something that's full of harmful bacteria.

What can happen if someone keeps using expired makeup?

Polina Tankilevitch

There are some things we'd love for you to be rebellious about, but using old makeup isn't one of them. Healy feels the same way and says, "Using expired makeup increases your risk of infection and irritation, which can lead to unsanitary conditions and even bacterial contamination."

The last thing we want is for you to get sick because you didn't want to let go of something. While symptoms may not always be as severe — Prestige says you could see allergic reactions, redness, or acne — Healy reminds us that "at the worst, it could result in serious infections that require treatment." This could look like developing styes or pink eye if you're "using old mascara or eyeliner," according to Prestidge.

Plus, your makeup won't give you the look you're going for if it's expired. "Expired products may no longer perform as intended, compromising coverage, color, or longevity," she says. Healy's ultimate advice? "Always be cautious, check for the PAO symbol, and replace products when needed."

Beauty Products You Need To Replace Every 3 Months

Amazon

Lancôme Lash Idôle Volumizing Mascara

If you're going to replace your mascara, you need a comparable alternative that's going to give your lashes the length and volume you're used to having. Be sure to add this one to your cart today!

Amazon

Urban Decay Glide-On Eye Pencil

Knowing that eyeliners go near your precious eyes, you'll want something that has a waterproof and smudge-proof formula like Urban Decay's Glide-On Pencil. You'll get up to 24 hours of wear that'll make you glad you decided to go for this option.

Beauty Products To Replace Every One To Two Years

Amazon

ILIA True Skin Serum Foundation

If you're going to wear foundation, you should opt for something that feels like your skin. The medium coverage feels weightless and has a good dose of niacinamide and allantoin in it to help improve your texture over time.

Amazon

e.l.f. Hydrating Camo Concealer

Get all the benefits of a high quality concealer without the luxury price with this $7 formula. It's hydrating so you're less likely to experience any creasing when you're trying to set it with your favorite powder.

Amazon

Revlon ColorStay Suede Ink Lipstick

Give those lips a boost of color with Revlon's ColorStay Suede Ink Lipstick! You're going to get the best wear out of this no-transfer shade that has powerful pigment that doesn't cost more than $15.

Amazon

NYX Professional Makeup Fat Lip Oil

Want juicy lips that don't feel sticky? You have to get this fat lip oil. You'll get up to 12 hours of wear that doesn't require you to reapply it which sounds like the very thing we could all use.

Amazon

IT Cosmetics Bye Bye Pores Pressed Powder

Headed to an event and want an airbrushed look that makes jaws drop? You'll be hard-pressed not to have this pancake-type powder. It visibly minimizes your pores while also soaking up excess oils.

Amazon

Physician's Formula Butter Bronzer

This yummy bronzer had us at hypoallergenic. It's going to give you a sun-kissed glow that'll make people wonder if you've been vacationing during colder months, but you don't have to share your inexpensive secret if you don't want to.

Amazon

Covergirl Trublend So Flushed Blush

You need a blush that's going to work with your makeup and not against it. Instead of spending a fortune on something you're not sure will work, give Covergirl's Trublend product a spin. You'll get amazing pigment that lasts throughout the day and won't irritate your skin.

Browse our Amazon Storefront for more fun beauty buys!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

Between the turkey, all the fixin's, and dessert, the last thing you have time to worry about on turkey day are all the Thanksgiving decorations. But you don't need to drop a lot of cash or devote all your time to transforming your place — you can still do it yourself without feeling overwhelmed. To help get those creative juices flowing, we've scoured the Internet for these 14 DIY decorations that you can whip up the day before. Now that's something to be thankful for.

Leftovers Station

Set up a leftovers station before the big meal and make sure no one goes home with an empty hand (or belly). Bonus points if you use some super cute take-home boxes! (via Brit + Co)

Pumpkin Place Cards

Never underestimate the power of a tiny pumpkin! Dress up your table with tiny pumpkins and a sweet personal touch. (via Brit + Co)

Thankful Garland

Remembering that we have a lot to be thankful for never goes out of style, no matter what season it is. This DIY is so good that you'll want to keep it up all year long! (via Brit + Co)

Friendsgiving Printables

Don't have time to customize everything on your table? Use this pre-made packet and fill in the blanks as you go for the perfect balance between personal and easy! (via The House That Lars Built)

Painted Wood Placemats

Believe it or not, with wood scraps and paint you can put together a tablescape fairly quickly. We love that this DIY means you'll have a Thanksgiving look that is totally unique to you and yours. (via A Bubbly Life)

Last-Minute Table Runner

A make-it-yourself table runner that adds color to the table *and* allows people to write down what they're thankful for? Yes, please. (via Paper & Stitch)

Printable Food Label Cards

When you're in a time crunch, who has time to do all that fancy calligraphy? Print, fold, and forget about it. These are cute, colorful, and can be reused for every holiday! (via Lovely Indeed)

Upgraded Napkins

We're sure that we all have some napkins that are so last year, but there's no need to buy (or sew) new ones when you can spruce up your usuals! Just add few small details will have them looking totally trendy. (via A Beautiful Mess)

Metallic Napkin Rings

If you have a tree in your yard and a gold marker in your office, then you can consider this DIY done! Super easy and it'll add some nice detail to your table. (via Demetres)

Faux Handmade Pie

Now that store-bought pie you were going to eat on your own can look like it came from the fancy bakery. What's better than that? (via PMQ for two)

Gourd Vases

Are your guests arriving in just a few hours and you totally forgot to put together a centerpiece? Carve up gourd-geous vases with plenty of time to spare. (via Tell Love and Party)

Ombre Painted Pinecone Wreath

Adding a little color to your decor will transform your space, so pull out your paint stash and take plain pinecones up a notch. Your wreath is sure to turn heads. (via WhimZeeCal)

DIY Decanter Tags

If everything else is under control and you still have time to make simple additions, whip up these decanter tags that make you hostessing skills look as polished as the silverware. (via Sugar & Cloth)

DIY Donut Pie

Putting those leftover donut holes to good use is a great way to save time and be creative. Plus there's a good chance that if someone doesn't like pie, adding donuts will peak their interest.(via Aww Sam)

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This post has been updated.

It’s no secret that I’m a long-standing Trader Joe’s fan. Living walking-distance from my city’s most popular TJ’s store has only solidified my love for the quirky grocery chain, and though I adore their limited-time launches and playful seasonal snacks, there are a few Trader Joe's finds I can confidently crown as staples in my kitchen. These are the go-to’s I look forward to adding to my cart during every single TJ’s grocery run I make, all of which I’d truly feel lost without!

Meredith Holser

Trader Joe's 100% Colombian Instant Coffee

Don’t judge – even this coffee snob drinks instant coffee! I am all about ease when it comes to my morning routine (it truly takes me hours to actually wake up), and Trader Joe’s 100% Colombian Instant Coffee is just the thing to help me expedite getting some good ol' caffeine into my system.

I love using instant coffee because I can prepare it differently based on my mood every single day. I can make a latte by mixing a serving with milk and syrup, or add more water to it to prep a more diluted hot (or iced) coffee that’s not as strong. After months of drinking it, I’ve found that TJ’s instant coffee is just as good-tasting and well-rounded as the espresso drinks or coffees I’d order out at any cafe.

Meredith Holser

Trader Joe's Pure Grade A Maple Syrup

I use this Trader Joe’s maple syrup for a multitude of kitchen creations: coffees, protein smoothies, pancakes, mug cakes, and muffins are the most frequent syrup-infused recipes I eat on a weekly basis. You can even use it for some stellar maple cocktails!

I’m not necessarily picky when it comes to the grade of my maple syrup. As long as it’s sweet, I am into it. If you’re searching for a tasty and affordable Grade A maple syrup, I think this $5 bottle has an exceptional flavor with a nice touch of richness that makes it a perfect fit for most uses.

Meredith Holser

Trader Joe's Unsweetened Non-Dairy Almond Beverage

Another versatile TJ’s product I pick up just about every time I go grocery shopping is their almond milk. I prefer using the unsweetened iteration so I can use it across various recipes. I’ll use it for my morning coffees, mid-day smoothies, cereal bowls, baking adventures, overnight oats, and wherever else it’s needed, really! I’ll even add a tiny splash to my scrambled eggs to keep ‘em moist. It’s perfectly smooth and light, and a true delight to always have in my fridge.

Meredith Holser

Trader Joe's Coconut Cream Greek Nonfat Yogurt

I am a Greek yogurt girly through and through. It makes for a healthy, filling, protein-rich breakfast option that also helps me maintain a semblance of “gut health” amidst my afternoon snacking habits. But plain Greek yogurt is not nearly edible enough for my palate – that’s why I adore TJ’s coconut-flavored yogurt! It has a good amount of sweetness, plus it boasts a tiny bit of texture from coconut flakes. I typically pick up 2-3 cups on my grocery runs so I can enjoy it every other day during the week with granola and frozen berries.

Meredith Holser

Trader Joe's Buttermilk Protein Pancake Mix

I like to prioritize protein in my diet because it keeps me feeling fuller for longer and helps me grow my muscles so I can grow in my yoga and climbing practices. When eating eggs and sausage for breakfast gets all too tiring, TJ’s Buttermilk Protein Pancake mix provides an ideal sweet option that still gives me 10+ grams of protein in a single sitting! It’s super easy to prepare, too. You just have to add a 1:1 ratio of pancake mix to water and make ‘em on the stovetop per usual. I like adding in some cinnamon to up the flavor.

I’ll also use it to make a mug cake when I feel like I need a little sweet treat in the evening – I add it to a mug with just enough water to make the batter extra thick, and then sprinkle some chocolate chips in it before throwing it in the microwave for about 2 minutes. It’s so yummy!

Meredith Holser

Trader Joe's Buffalo Chicken Dip

Oh, I could eat this entire dip in a single sitting. Buffalo anything is truly the key to my heart (and stomach). TJ’s Buffalo Chicken Dip is my go-to workday snack alongside some blue corn tortilla chips. It’s super satisfying (another great protein-rich option), creamy, tangy, spicy, and salty. All the things!

It’s packed with bits of chicken that can also make it a great addition for fuller meals beyond snack time: I’ve slathered some on a tortilla with cheese and cilantro for an easy quesadilla-type wrap, and even added a heaping scoop to plain pasta in lieu of traditional sauce.

Meredith Holser

Trader Joe's Palak Paneer

If you ride or die for Trader Joe’s, you know just how amazing their frozen section is. I was honestly really skeptical to try this frozen Indian dish the first time around, but once I had a taste, I was hooked. I make sure I have at least one in my freezer at all times to come to the rescue on nights I simply can’t bring myself to cook!

It takes about 4 minutes in the microwave to become a super creamy, comforting, healthy meal you can enjoy on its own or alongside some rice and naan (if you wish to go the extra mile). The paneer cooks out wonderfully. I am a chronic over-seasoner for any kind of food I eat, and I've found that adding a pinch of salt and a drizzle of TJ’s hot honey really takes this platter to the next level.

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The perks of having an older sister means I've been able to ask her all my more embarrassing questionsgrowing up. My whole life, we've chatted about everything from periods to sex to giving birth. Then one day, right before I graduated high school, she gifted me a book that changed everything: Nancy Redd's Body Drama: Real Girls, Real Bodies, Real Issues, Real Answers. It not only helped me understand my body more, but it also helped soothe some of the insecurity I had before my postpartum body developed into what it is today.

I eventually gifted Body Drama to someone else, but I never forgot about how beneficial it was, and I always thought there should be more work like it out in the world. As it turns out, Nancy Redd wasn't done normalizing bodies and questions bout sexual health — the author and Wirecutter journalist just released The Real Body Manual: Your Visual Guide to Health & Wellness! Not only is it a great resource for those who are looking for answers to more specific health questions, but it's something I continue to revisit on the days my insecurity dampens my mood!

I chatted with Redd to understand more about her work — and I came out understanding even more about myself and how I want to help raise the future generation.

The Difference Between 'Body Drama' And 'The Real Body Manual'

Amazon

If you've had the pleasure of sticking your nose in Nancy Redd's Body Drama, you're familiar with how well-researched and thorough it is. In that regard, The Real Body Manual is no different — but Redd highlights it's still a "totally different book." She says, "The world has changed dramatically, and we're talking so much more about bodies, and we see a lot more bodies."

Despite seeing all those "real" bodies on TV and otherwise, women — and people in general — still don't feel great about themselves. According to a 2022 study, 32% of teens had a negative opinion about their acne, while 31% weren't comfortable with their weight. Meanwhile, another study shows that 80% of women have referred to themselves as "fat."

To combat troubling statistics like those, Redd hopesThe Real Body Manual can help. "I think we're all operating with not enough information about the world we live in, and I think the more information we can receive in a safe, educated, medically-accurate space, the better," she explains.

Centre for Ageing Better

Redd also really wanted to write a book that taught both her son and her daughter about their changing bodies — and she feels this is the perfect time for everyone to come together and learn about the way bodies not only look, but function. She likens these lessons to learning about world geography. "We don't just need to know about the small town we live in. We need to know about the state, country, the world-at-large," she stresses. And she thinks The Real Body Manual can help you "learn about your own body, your friends, and the people in society you live with."

If you look at the group of friends I have today, everyone doesn't have the same body shame. One of my friends is a little taller and curvier than I am while another is shorter and rounder. I dealt with acne-prone skin and dark spots while my best friend Cookie didn't really struggle with that. It's honestly rare that everyone will look the same — and that's okay! But learning about what's going on with all of us helps bridge our experiential gaps and creates better shared understanding.

And with that in mind, here are the 4 things I learned about my body — and all bodies — when chatting with Nancy and reading The Real Body Manual.

1. Understanding Your Body Doesn't Have To Look Like Everyone Else's

MART PRODUCTION

I grew up during a time where certain body types were celebrated more than others in media, and it had a negative effect on how I perceived my own body. I believed I wasn't supposed to have stretch marks because video vixens didn't, and became horrified when I discovered them in middle school as a slender girl. Not only that, but I didn't really develop curves until after I gave birth which made me feel like an outlier in my community.

Recent studies found there's a link between teens aged 16-18 years old developing body dysmorphia and social media...which doesn't sound surprising. And while there are countless body positive accounts that also exist — and I really do promise I'm not saying to completely ditch your socials — sometimes you have to take a step away from it (and other influencers) if it's having a negative impact on your self-esteem.

"Some bodies naturally look like those in music videos. I think separating that from being able to find love or have purpose in your life — they're completely separate things," Redd insists. She breaks things down even further by explaining why you not looking a certain way doesn't discount you from enjoying life. "Some people are born with the ability to be tennis stars, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't pick up a tennis racket because you're not Serena Williams."

The main point she drives home is that "every person can have a great time with their bodies" which is why The Real Body Manual reads like an encouraging, evidence-based love letter to readers.

2. Loving Yourself Is A Choice

Anna Tarazevich

Just like I had to make the decision to fully accept the body I have, it's something Nancy says everyone has the ability to do. "It's literally a choice," she says before one of her kids quickly pops into our convo. In a tender moment, she asks her child, "Hello, do you love your body?"

This brief encounter circles back to the reason why The Real Body Manual matters — it opens up these conversations with our kids, offering a tangible resource for others. I know I try to have more conversations like this with my son, and I've even encouraged him to hug himself when he needs a little dose of self love.

"The things that matter — having purpose in life, feeling love, being a good community member — don't have much to do with whether you have hyperpigmentation, freckles, cellulite, etc.," she says. "The more you know from the beginning of your journey that bodies look different, the easier it is for you to accept [yourself]. But if the only bodies you're seeing are sexualized in pornography, videos, and magazines, you don't have a real basis."

It's one of the biggest reasons she intended for The Real Body Manual to be a visual guide.

3. Your Naked Body Is Beautiful

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"I really like showing people what the body actually looks like for the most part," Redd says. Yeah, that's right — The Real Body Manual features real people's bodies, not just illustrations. In doing so, she says, "Everyone can see someone who resembles them." It doesn't matter if you're heavy-set, a person with different sized breasts, or anything in-between. The point is that you'll be able to find yourself somewhere in The Real Body Manual.

My mother told me how little information her own mom shared with her about bodies. Because of that, my mom always stressed that she wanted my sister and I to have access to whatever information we needed. She wanted us to be informed, and never inhibited by her own lack of comfort over a topic. But not all parents feel comfortable sharing with their kids.

Redd says, "I don't think it was done with malice. I think people are just working with whatever they have which is not a lot." She further notes people have chosen to refer to genitals as "down there" for both men and women instead of saying the proper term for them for their autonomy. I'll be honest — growing up in a religious background often means sexual shame was attached to very normal things like breasts and penises.

Not everyone was on board with me telling my toddler he has a penis instead of saying "pee pee" — or not talking about it at all, if we're being honest. But I wanted him to feel comfortable with what he was born with, and to know that his dad having the same anatomy is normal. "We just don't use the proper names for things which increases this shroud of secrecy about it. We aren't taught health literacy," Redd says.

4. 'The Real Body Manual' Is A Must-Have For Pre-Teens, Teens, And Adults

Yan Krukau

Funnily enough, Redd informs me that October is actually Health Literacy Month, making all this really round out. We should know what's going on with our bodies, whether it's the proper terminology, what changes we're going through, what we can look like. Ignorance only makes our experiences more confusing and harder — especially when we're young and probably have a million different questions.

She explains that if you ask people specifics like 'How does a period work,' then they may not know the answer. "The same goes for if you ask what's the difference between a freckle and a mole," Redd explains. "It may not seem like these things are a big deal, but when something goes wrong, you need to know 'I need to get this thing checked out.'"

Information is power, and when armed with information about our bodies we can lead safer, healthier lives. Instead of wondering why we don't talk about things enough, Redd decided to take the bull by the horns and talk about them — and she thinks you should talk about them, even (and sometimes especially) when they're uncomfortable. She says, "Any time you feel shame or discomfort discussing your body, that's a sign you don't have enough information."

If you find yourself unable to ask other people questions, but want to start feeling comfortable in your body, I highly recommend that you read both Body Drama and The Real Body Manual because they're equipped with detailed explanations — and helpful imagery — about how bodies actually look, work, and feel.

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The Real Body Manual

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