You Jealous? How to Cure Your Social Media Envy

Between pics, status updates, and posts touting epic adventures, gorgeous waterfront weddings, or your BFF’s brand new home, it can seem like everyone has it totally together — except you. Have you ever felt this way? If so, you’re definitely not alone. The rise of social media has made it hard to understand what life is actually like for most people, since we only see the most positive and flattering posts. To understand the problem better, we chatted with Larissa May from #HALFTHESTORY, a global platform dedicated to building a social media community that shares unfiltered experiences. She clued us in on why having a healthy frame of reference is super important and gave us a handful of tips for staying true to yourself.

B+C: #HALFTHESTORY is a project dedicated to showing a more unfiltered side of life. Why does frame of reference matter when it comes to evaluating how much we have it together?

Larissa May: Just like in literature, there are numerous ways we tell our stories. By limiting ourselves to just one narrative, our social media posts can lead to a convoluted sense of reality that isn’t actually attainable or relatable. What happens next is that we begin to judge ourselves based on the surface-level depictions that we’ve built around what we see online.

In a world driven by instant success, we tend to hide behind our social media identities, masking the full truth behind the partial realities we post every day. These stories create unrealistic expectations for ourselves — and others. Having a more realistic frame of reference is important when it comes to evaluating your own accomplishments. It’s not healthy to measure against a false reality.

B+C: How do you think social media affects the way people feel about themselves and their lives? How can people find and help share a more well-rounded perspective?

LM: I see social media as a form of social storytelling, but it can create more of a disconnect than real human interaction. There’s nothing wrong with portraying your “best self,” but there’s a real value in sharing *all* aspects of your life story. By sharing a part of our identity that’s not regularly revealed through social media, we can start to restore human connection.

Even more, sharing a more realistic range of perspectives will help to open lines of communication to more people in our social network. This is the other #HALFTHESTORY, the side that people can really relate to: the side hustles, struggles, defining moments, travel bloopers, mental health battles, and journeys to success. Surfacing this narrative can help people feel more together or on-track.

B+C: That’s seriously great advice. In addition to sharing a more accurate picture of our own lives, what are some things each of us can do to remind ourselves that we really do have it more together than we give ourselves credit for?

LM: Here are a few ideas:

1. Take time off. If you’re going through a rough time, delete your social media apps from your phone. It’s almost impossible to avoid Instagram or Facebook, and these can be especially hard to look at when you’re feeling down or lonely.

2. Turn off your notifications. Realize that there are people and companies fighting for your attention. Instead of giving in, take control of who you let in by turning off your notifications.

3. Learn to unfollow. Social media awareness is pretty much everything when it comes to maintaining confidence and a healthy sense of self. When you catch yourself making comparisons, it’s time to take a break or simply hit “unfollow.”

4. Refresh your social media goals. Social media can be fun and you can take a healthy approach to enjoying it! To do so, list five values in your life. Does your social media feed reflect these? Is what you’re posting in line with what you care about? If not, challenge yourself to switch up the next five posts or reassess the content you scope out regularly.

5. Share the other half of the story. Take an opportunity to share a piece of your life that doesn’t have space in your standard social story. This might be a passion, charity you’re involved with, side hustle, transformational experience, or even a struggle.

Does social media have you feeling down? Tell us what you do to feel better on Twitter @BritandCo or share the other half of your story by using #HALFTHESTORY to help create a more positive sense of self for others.

(Photos via Larissa May, featured photo via Getty)

We live in a "post your relationship so we know it's real" landscape, and I'd be lying if I said it hasn't made me wonder if there's a larger conversation to be had about it. Some people don't feel the need to post their romantic partner while others share their relationships in a way that rivals the best celebrity couples.

Everyone's different, but it's not not unheard of to question your partner's devotion if they're not posting you on Instagram. You may feel justified in your anger because "so and so" are always in cute pictures and videos together on social media — but are your feelings valid? The best person to answer this is licensed therapist Suzette Bray, LMFT. She has over 25 years of specializing in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, and she's seen this topic come up plenty of times during sessions with clients, so grab a pen and paper to take notes!

Why do people want to share their relationship status with others?

Afif Ramdhasuma

My sister used to ask me this question when I was in my 20's, and I always looked at her like she had two heads growing. I couldn't fathom the idea that people wouldn't want to talk about their relationship online because it felt like everyone was doing it. I mean, a study from Pew Research Center shows 8 in 10 people on social media see relationship posts, so it clearly wasn't outrageous to think it was normal.

But, that still doesn't answer why people are drawn to sharing cute little updates about their partner or relationship. Luckily, Bray has a good indication of what drives people to give others a sneak peek into their lives. "People share their relationship status for all kinds of reasons. Some want to mark their territory — nothing says 'back off' quite like a cute couple selfie! Others are just excited and proud of their partner and want to share the joy," she says. That stems from people's "need for a sense of belonging or to receive positive reinforcement from others," she adds.

But, this doesn't necessarily make people weird. It's just human nature that makes us act the way we do. "We as humans are just hard wired to seek connection, and broadcasting our connections, makes us feel more accepted and secure in our social lives."

Should couples have conversations about their social media expectations?

Katrin Bolovtsova

I don't care how hot you think someone is, you're going to have to learn how to communicate with them. It's true even if your chemistry is off-the-charts because healthy relationships don't fall out of the sky. They're built via honesty, respect, forgiveness, and other important factors.

Before assuming your partner is or isn't okay with you posting about your relationship, Bray is 100% convinced you should talk things through. "Social media is still in the wild west of relationship etiquette, and without discussions, assumptions about 'correct' behavior can run wild," she hints. For example, you could be happily posting about your partner only for someone to point out that they're not following you on social media.

"Some people are super private, while others practically live their lives online. Misunderstandings happen when expectations aren't laid out so talking about it can prevent messiness in the long run," Bray observes.

If two people have gone on a couple of dates, should one of them be upset if the other isn't publicly talking about them?

RDNE Stock project

So, you swiped right on Tinder or Bumble, and you had a few amazing dates with one of your matches. Before you start publicly declaring your love for them, Bray wants you to reconsider. "Hold on! It's just a few dates! Let’s pump the brakes. The early stages of dating is not the time to make grand social declarations," she declares. As someone who tried to 'date' people from Tinder, those first few dates aren't a guarantee that you've found the love of your life.

"Posting someone on social media can feel like a big step to some people so expecting that level of public commitment too soon might be too much pressure. If you’re already thinking, 'Why haven’t they posted about me yet?' after two dates, it might be a good time to check in with yourself about where those expectations are coming from," advises Bray.

I've recovered from my former, "Is he the one" obsession so also take it from me — see where things go first and then refer back to question #2!

Is it a red flag if someone doesn't post their partner on social media?

Budgeron Bach

It would be so much fun if we personally had Dustin Poynter, the flag guy, from TikTok helping point us in the right direction — but this is one of those things that errs on the subjective side. Though Bray doesn't feel it's necessarily healthier to keep your relationship private, she thinks "context matters." "Some people are just more private or feel weird about social media in general," she says.

But, that doesn't mean certain behaviors don't warrant a few eyebrow raises. She notes," If someone is super active on social—like posting about their dog’s morning routine and every cupcake they’ve ever had—but doesn't ever mention their partner, it could create a need for a deeper conversation." Before you feel justified about grilling your partner — as satisfactory as that may feel — take a second to breathe.

Bray would prefer you work to understand "why they don't post, rather than assuming your partner is keep you a secret." If you discover the latter to be true, follow your instincts and let that person go because you don't deserve that!

Do you think it's healthier for couples to keep certain aspects of their relationship private?

Fábio Carvalho

Everyone has a different view of what makes a romantic relationship healthy, so this is one of those things Bray says, "absolutely depends on the couple" because some "genuinely enjoy sharing their lives online." You've probably seen your share of couples who make cute content together whether they're married or not. I'd be lying if I said I don't specifically keep up with a few whose content makes me smile.

But, other couples may not be interested in sharing their relationship online because they "want to be private and keep the relationship free from the judgements or opinions of others," according to Bray. That's not to say they have something to hide, though. Instead, think of it as a personal preference.

"As long as both partners are on the same page and it’s not a source of tension, it’s all about finding the balance that works for them. If it starts to feel like a performance for likes rather than genuine connection, though, that’s where it can become problematic," Bray reminds.

How can someone bring up their partner's posting habits without sounding accusatory?

Timur Weber

You may feel eager about posting about your partner while they're less enthusiastic and this could make you feel upset. It's easy to jump to conclusions when you're already upset, but Bray feels "tone is everything." Ironically, she suggests something I've heard in therapy sessions and that's "to be curious, not confrontational." Hopefully this stopped you in your tracks if you were ready to give your partner a piece of your mind.

"You can say something like, 'Hey, I’ve noticed we haven’t shared much about each other on social media? What’s your take on sharing stuff about us online?' It’s important to frame it as a mutual exploration of rather than a demand for a public declaration," Bray points out.

What would you tell someone who wants to emulate couples who consistently post content together?

Vlada Karpovich

We've all seen couples who we think have the cutest relationship, even though we've never met them before. As much as you may admire a couple, Bray thinks it's a "slipper slope" if you want to try to recreate their online moments. "I’d encourage someone to focus more on what makes their own relationship feel fulfilling, rather than chasing #couplesgoals," she encourages.

However, this isn't a sign that you're not supposed to ever share anything about your partner or relationship! "If posting together feels fun and real, go for it! But if it starts feeling like a performance or that you are in competition with other couples, it's probably good to take a step back," she warns.

Also, keep in mind that social media doesn't show you every single moment of couples' lives so don't worry about trying to look picture perfect based on a 30 second to 30 minute video.

If you feel that your partner doesn't post you enough on social media, talk to them before launching into an angsty rant because your assumptions might not always be right. I wish someone would've shared this advice 10 years ago, but all that matters is knowing you don't have to let being upset about your partner's lack of relationship posts be the reason your day is ruined.

The problem arises when your partner doesn't seem receptive to talking about your concerns because dismissive or evasive attitudes are a no-no!

We have more relationship advice if you're looking for more romantic tips and tricks!

We might just be getting into the holiday spirit, but for the Radio City Rockettes, it's been Christmastime since September! In addition to a very enlightening game of This or That, twins Caitlin and Courtney Sullivan gave Brit + Co an inside look at what it's like to be a Rockette — and what they do the rest of the year. Consider this the perfect trivia for your Christmas dinner after you've mastered that Rockette red lip ;).

Here are 12 surprising things about being a Radio City Rockette.

1. Rehearsing for the Christmas season is a full-time job.

MSG Entertainment

Once the holidays roll around, the Radio City Rockette shows might last 90 minutes, but prepping for the season is a full work week. "The rehearsal season itself is six weeks long, six hours a day, six days a week," Courtney says. "So it is a long process and I feel like the rehearsals itself are like a bonding experience for us."

2. The Radio City Rockettes get some serious bonding time.

MSG Entertainment

"You spend a lot of time with the girls around you and within Radio City, our dressing rooms too," Courteney says of the Rockette rehearsal schedule. "I feel like that's the time when you really get to form those bonds with your sisters and really create magic that can be seen on stage too."

"Yeah, once we move into Radio City, this becomes your family, truly," Caitlin adds. "We spend every day, day in day out together, we spend the holidays together. So you naturally just become very close with everyone."

Each Rockette dresses up her getting-ready station.

MSG Entertainment

"Everybody dresses up their station to make it feel very homey," Caitlin says. "I like lots of like decor and festive lights, candles, all that fun stuff."

The women love to have treats in their dressing rooms!

MSG Entertainment

I'm literally snacking on a chocolate bar as I type this, and I'm not the only one who likes to have sweets on-hand! "I love Christmas cookies," Caitlin says. "We will do something with our dressing room and bring in treats every day. I feel like someone's bringing in something new."

The Radio City Rockettes perform up to 200 shows at Christmas.

MSG Entertainment

"The Rockettes perform up to 200 shows in a season, and the way that each show feels so special and individual, it's just amazing how you never know who's out in the audience seeing the show for the first time," Courtney says. "And the way the ladies in the line put their best foot forward every single time is so inspiring and made me want to give even more."

"It just really amazes me how dedicated and how hard working all the Rockettes are," Caitlin agrees. "And I think we always knew that, but then once you're in it, you have a whole new level of respect for how hard all these women work."

And each Rockette can perform in up to 4 shows a day!

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"I think sometimes people don't realize we can do up to four shows in the day, which is unreal and amazing," Caitlin says. "That might be a surprise to people when they're coming to a show. They might think we just have that one that day, but we actually might have two, three, or four in the day, which is pretty amazing."

But the Rockettes also find time to goof off.

MSG Entertainment

The Rockettes might be known for their precision, but Courtney promises their smiles are real! "We are having so much fun," Courtney says. "It's really just an amazing feeling to be on stage and we find times to laugh and joke around, but really obviously give our all to our craft. And I think people don't realize like we are really having an amazing time on and off stage."

The Radio City Rockettes really support one another.

MSG Entertainment

As you can imagine, a career as a Rockette comes with its challenges, but the ladies on the line always support each other. "I was really proud last year was our first season together and just to complete one full season is such an accomplishment," Courtney says. "I feel like we're ready to take it on again and know like we absolutely can do it. And with the support of everyone around us too, you know, you're going to get through the entire holiday season and you're gonna come out even stronger."

The Radio City Rockettes can work a bunch of jobs during the summer.

MSG Entertainment

The Rockettes have a busy schedule during Christmas — but that doesn't mean they kick up their feet the rest of the year! "Every person on the line has a very diverse background and they go to different job opportunities throughout the year," Courtney says. "People are pulled in different directions when the holiday season is over. The Rockettes do work year-round [with] different opportunities."

"We're always looking to continue to dance and work on our precision," she continues. "The summer though, our favorite thing is to go to the beach. We're from New Jersey and the Jersey shore is like our home. So if we're not dancing, you can definitely find us relaxing on the sand."

The best thing about performing New York City can also be the most challenging.

MSG Entertainment

You know how, when people talk about New York, they say, "If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere?" That's because it's hard to live here y'all!

"This is just the city that never sleeps," Caitlin says. "There are people everywhere. It's always alive. There's just something magical about New York and I love that. And I think that could come with the biggest challenge as well: the city that never sleeps. You feel like you're going, going, going at all times. But that's pretty exciting to do at our age, living out our dreams. I feel like that will never get old."

"I feel like we have no complaints here!" Courtney adds.

Even as a Radio City Rockette, the work is never done.

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"I feel like there's always room for improvement," Courtney says. "Even today, as we're living at our dream, we're continuously working on our technique and our precision and going back to our foundation, I think the work is never done and you can continue to dream and accomplish some of those really major goals."

"Yeah, the work is never done is I think is kind of our motto," Caitlin adds. "Just keep, keep pushing, keep driving and just keep dreaming. And never give up."

The Rockettes are like one big family.

MSG Entertainment

Just like so many of our favorite TV show and movie casts, the Rockettes love to bond! "The Rockettes truly feel like a sisterhood and we are so lucky that we are real sisters on the line together," Caitlin says, adding that to dance "with your sister is everything we always hoped for."

And those connections make a magical experience like New York at Christmas even more magical. "[To] be welcomed with open arms has been such a dream come true for us," Courtney says. "We just love the holiday season and to celebrate it at Radio City, I feel like I can't imagine anything better."

Read 35 Magical Photos Of Christmas In New York To Inspire Wanderlust for even more holiday cheer!

In our Take 5 series, sponsored by Verizon, we ask women in business about unexpected challenges, their inspirations, recent wins, and how the free Verizon Small Business Digital Ready Program has helped propel their business forward. Here, we meet Rita Suzanne, a marketing strategist for health and wellness businesses who learned to network, connect with other entrepreneurs, and build her business online and IRL.

What's an unexpected business challenge that you've had to face and how did you overcome it?

The hardest thing for me was my sister passed away and I ended up taking custody of my nieces. I ended up being a single mom of four kids. This is the thing that transitioned my whole entire life. I stopped doing web design and started my podcast Mom Owned and Operated. I wanted to reconnect with other moms and figure out how they were able to run their businesses and raise a family and take care of themselves because I wasn't able to do all three at the same time. Through that journey, I realized that I really needed to connect with other people and how important it was for my business. It helped me to create that community that I was yearning for that I didn't realize that I needed.

What's a recent small win for your business?

For me, the win was just pivoting back to something that I actually wanted to do. Also, I’ve started to say no to things that I no longer want to do.

Who is a woman in business that you look up to and why?

I have always admired and looked up to Amy Porterfield [author of Two Weeks Notice]. I listened to her all the time when I was starting out. I think that she's amazing and I love her stuff. She just seems like a very genuine person.

Is there a resource that has made an impact on you as an entrepreneur?

I listen to a lot of audio books. One of my favorites that has been huge for me is You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero. I was told when I first started my business, by a friend who was a business coach, that I have a mindset problem. Ten years ago, I had no idea even what “mindset” was. Sincero’s book helped me to see what she meant by “mindset” and helped me adjust that mindset and fix some of the things that I didn't realize were broken.

How has the Verizon Small Business Digital Ready Program helped propel your business forward?

There are a lot of things that I have loved about it. There are local networking and training opportunities, and that has been great, and the online training is very valuable. It's a great resource. I find that marketing needs a three-tiered approach, meaning you need to network it locally, socially, and then also have a very comprehensive online approach to your marketing. One of the Verizon Small Business trainings that I took was all about taking advantage of your local resources. I found that to be extremely valuable because often people think they need to just focus on social media. I don't think that people focus enough on their local community.

Learn more about the free Verizon Small Business Digital Ready Program and Rita Suzanne.

Illustration by Daniela Jordan-Villaveces

There's one popstar who's ready to get her "love on" — Selena Gomez is engaged! And in addition to Taylor Swift throwing her hat in the ring for flower girl and Hailey Bieber seemingly sending love to the happy couple, Selena continues to feel great as we get closer to the big day. Here's the latest news on Selena Gomez & Benny Blanco's engagement, because I simply can't get enough.

Here's how Selena Gomez's feeling after her engagement to Benny Blanco — and how they celebrated.

Benny Blanco's proposal to Selena Gomez proves how well he knows her.

Benny Blanco reportedly popped the question on December 11, and we know from Selena's photo dump that the engagement began in a park with a Taco Bell picnic. And honestly? I've never had more respect for someone. And ever Selena Gomez's ring found its permanent home on her finger, sources says she's been "glowing."

“They’re so supportive of each other,” a source tells People. “He wants the best for her and she wants the best for him. They’re perfect together. They really are.”

These two know each other inside and out, and considering Benny Blanco grabbed Sel's favorite meal from Taco Bell, the proposal proves it! "It was very her," another source says. "It was a total surprise to Selena."

It's those tiny moments that are the most romantic to me because they prove you're willing to go the extra distance on tiny details other people would overlook. "Benny and Selena were so excited to share the news right away with their loved ones," the source continues, mentioning that the couple had an "impromptu gathering" with some friends and family members after Selena said yes. "It's such a true partnership between them."

And Selena Gomez has talked about how much Benny Blanco means to her.

Selena Gomez has spoken about how much Benny means to her, saying "he is my absolute everything in my heart" in the comments of an Instagram fanpage, while Benny told Howard Stern in May 2024 that he couldn't imagine his life without Selena in it. "I just know that when I look at her, I just say, ‘I don’t know a world where it could be better than this.’ That’s what I always say to her.”

And in March 2024, Selena Gomez posted the sweetest tribute for Benny's birthday, honoring his "emotional endurance, positive disposition, unbelievable talent (that blows me away), undeniable humor and loving, kind heart." Now they get to spend every birthday together!

Check out Hailee Steinfeld and Josh Allen's amazing proposal pictures for more celebrity engagement goodness.

If Gilmore Girls andThe Marvelous Mrs. Maisel have shown me anything, it's that creator Amy Sherman-Palladino always has an incredible story up her sleeve. Her new show Étoile, which is coming to Prime Video, promises to be a beautiful and sophisticated look at the world of dance, and if the fact that it's from Amy wasn't enough reason to watch it, it's also Prime's first new show to get a two-season order! Here's everything we know about the series.

What is the next Sherman Palladino show?

Writer/Producer/Director Amy Sherman-Palladino, Writer/Producer/Director Daniel Palladino seen at Netflix's Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life premiere.Eric Charbonneau/Netflix

Following our beloved Gilmore Girls and The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Dan and Amy Sherman-Palladino's next series is Étoile, which is set at two world-famous ballet companies in New York City and Paris. When both companies run into some trouble, the decide to swap their most talented stars in a last-ditch effort to save themselves.

And based on the first set leaks from New York City, it looks like Étoile will definitely be packing on the drama. This short clip shows Luke Kirby standing outside Lincoln Center in a serious conversation (probably about the fate of his ballet company, TBH).

"Well, guess that plan for early retirement will have to wait," Dan and Amy said in a joint statement (via The Hollywood Reporter). "Instead, we’ve decided to embark on an international journey with an unbelievable group of players and the most talented ballet dancers in the world. We will sleep when we’re dead."

But this isn't the first time ASP has forayed into the world of ballet! Her ABC Family series Bunheads (which premiered on June 11, 2012) follows Michelle (Sutton Foster) who moves to her hometown of Paradise and starts working at her mother-in-law's dance studio The Paradise Dance Academy.

Who will star in the new show?

Photo via WB

The best part is that the role of Michelle's mother-in-law is played by Emily Gilmore herself, Kelly Bishop!

When does Étoile premiere?

Anya Juárez Tenorio/Pexels

We don't have an official release date yet, but considering THR recently revealed the show will finish filming soon, we're hoping to see Étoile in 2025. Just like Gilmore Girls is the ultimate fall rewatch, maybe Étoile will be the ultimate winter rewatch!

Who's in the Étoile cast?

Luke Kirby attends the The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Finale Celebration at the Fonda Theater in Los Angeles on Mon, May 22, 2023. Todd Williamson/JanuaryImages/Prime Video

So far, we know that Étoile will star Luke Kirby, Gideon Glick, Camille Cottin, Simon Callow, Lou de Laâge, and David Alvarez. Yanic Truesdale, who played our favorite Gilmore Girls concierge Michel, has also joined the series as a recurring character! I'm so excited to see Yanic working with Amy Sherman-Palladino again — it's like a Gilmore Girls reunion!

What does Étoile mean?

Jeremy Thomas/Unsplash

Étoile translates to "star," and there are so many different connections here! We have the ballet stars themselves, but you also wish upon a star and reach for the stars when you're working towards a dream. If you ask me, Étoile is the perfect name for this series.

How many episodes does Étoile have?

Merve Sehirli Nasir/Unsplash

The first season of Étoile will have eight episodes total, but considering Prime Video ordered two seasons, we'll definitely be getting more episodes.

Are you excited to watch Étoile? Check back here for the latest news on the series, and stay updated on your favorite TV shows and movies on our Facebook!

This post has been updated.