Today’s Great Dating Debate: Do Women in Headphones Want Men to Talk to Them?

Cortney Clift
Aug 30, 2016

When I’m brunching with friends on Sunday morning, dating is a topic that is consistently discussed. How much it sucks and how sometimes it doesn’t. How frustrating the apps are. One of the top complaints: How increasingly rare it is to be approached by a cute, potential partner IRL. Contrary to what Carrie Bradshaw’s single girl experience may lead you to believe, you don’t often get hit on in the subway by someone like Aiden. Approached by a dude who can’t take no for an answer? Sure. A buff vet who saves puppies lives on the reg? Yeah, not so much.

But here’s the thing: If we as woman are open to that rare Prince Charming courting us on the carriage — er, bus — home, are we crushing our chances by slipping on headphones and jamming out to Frank Ocean’s new album? The Twitter universe is currently debating this question.

The debate all started when a user posted this snapshot of an article from The Modern Man. The article was posted back in 2013, but the topic is still as relevant today as it was back then. Throughout the article, the author offers up some ~questionable~ advice on how to approach a woman wearing headphones. A few first steps include: standing in front of her for a minute and having a confident smile. Then the author advises that, once you get her attention, ask her, “Can you take off your headphones for a minute?” while miming taking headphones off your head.

The user who snapshotted the post was unimpressed and answered the “How to Talk to a Woman Wearing Headphones” headline with a blunt, “You don’t.” Her tweet has since been retweeted and favorited thousands of times. Naturally, the Twitterverse really went in on the topic, with almost everyone siding with her.

But is a pair of headphones really as sure a sign of unavailability as a wedding ring? As a single woman who wears headphones often while around town, I would say it’s something you take on a case by case basis. Do I enjoy listening to Ira Glass or Spotify on my ride to or from work? Sure. Would I also be up for chatting with a vet who saves puppies lives if he was sat next to me? You can put me down as a firm yes on that. Maybe don’t approach me in the way The Modern Man suggests, though. Standing in front of me and smiling may give off more of a creepy than interested vibe. But do it in a way that seems a little more natural and sure, I’ll pause Mr. Glass’ smooth storytelling capabilities for you. But am I alone in this thinking? I decided to take a poll around the B+C office (which is primarily made up of millennial women) to find out what others thought.

Of the 10 ladies I asked, all of them told me wearing headphones is almost always a sure sign that they do NOT want to be approached. However, 90 percent of them said that if they see someone they’re potentially interested in while on a bus or walking around, they would make a point to take either both or one ear bud out to show they’re up for being approached and talked to.

But when all is said and done, this whole debate isn’t really about whether women are up for being hit on or not. When it comes down to it, this is about respecting women’s privacy and boundaries. The ladies of the Twitterverse (and Brit + Co HQ) have spoken, and they all seem to agree that headphones are a pretty clear sign they would like to be left alone. Frank Ocean, Ira Glass or whoever is blasting out of their ear buds is currently priority, and unless they VERY obviously signal otherwise, please be respectful of that.

Where do you stand on this debate? Share with us on Twitter @BritandCo.

(Photo via Getty)

14 Hilariously Relatable 'Bridgerton' Season 3 Reactions

And just like that, Bridgerton Season 3 has officially been released, and if you ask me, it's for all of us who have wanted the wallflower to finally get the respect (and love) she deserves. I'm still not over the way Colin and Penelope's story developed, or how she took the first step to show women they're able to be more than what society says. Dare I say Mrs. Bridgerton has joined the ranks of women who are all about empowerment in the series?

It seems like other people feel the same way I do about this epic season — and thatending — so I put together a list of the best Twitter reactions!

Violet Bridgerton is the ultimate mama bear who wants her kids to experience a full love like she did.

But, I have to admit I'm here for seeing Violet Bridgerton begin a new chapter in her life with Lady Danbury's brother (hopefully)!

The scream I screamed!

Eloise Bridgerton was so conflicted because she truly still cared for Penelope underneath her hurt masked as anger. And thankfully Kate was there to swoop in with her wisdom.

The music and silent confirmation from Colin that these two have always been destined for each other sent me over the edge. So many happy tears were shed during this scene!

This tweet was too good to ignore! Cressida was like, "I'm leaving here with something," and it doesn't include being married to an older man who wants to dim her light.

IYKYK 👀

It was nice to see a nod to the friendship Penelope and Lady Danbury had in the Bridgerton books this season.

Kilmartin may be introverted, but his charisma is off the charts when he decides to let it show.

Bridgerton Season 4 better give Benedict his flowers.

This is yet another scene that broke me and stitched me together at the same time.

I don't think we're okay after this season 😭.

No, someone should really check on us.

I thought Bridgerton Season 2 was the best one, but it seems like the series keeps getting better. I guess that's the point.

What was YOUR reaction to Bridgerton season 3? Let us know on X!

Lead image via Liam Daniel/Netflix

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I Can’t Believe How Grown Up Blue Ivy Looked At ‘Mufasa’ Premiere

It's official: Blue Ivy looks totally grown up now — especially in her gorgeous gold gown at the Mufasa: The Lion Kingpremiere. It honestly feels like just yesterday that Beyoncé announced she was born, and now she's a star in her own right! She celebrated her Disney film debut with her family by her side on the red carpet (and everyone looking as gorgeous as ever).

While Jay-Z was one of the latest celebrities caught in the crosshairs of P. Diddy allegations, it didn't stop mom and dad from showing their unwavering support. The family put on a united front, smiling for the cameras and praising Blue's work on her latest Disney film, further proving that they're in this together. Here's everything we know!

Details about the Mufasa: The Lion King premiere

Beyoncé & Jay-Z Amazing Support Of Blue Ivy's Role In 'Mufasa'

Jesse Grant/Getty Images for Disney

Blue Ivy stars in Mufasa: The Lion King as Kiara with Beyoncé voicing Nala again. The highly anticipated film will show Mufasa's origins from a young cub to the majestic king we've come to know, love, and mourn.

In this cute BTS clip, Beyoncé and Blue are initially shown in separate recording booths while the latter says, "Don't stare at me." It's a typical response all kids eventually give their parents, but it doesn't bother Beyoncé. She simply smiles and says, "I can't help it. You're just too beautiful girl." Still, she offers a bit of reassurance to Blue. "I'mma be right here closing my eyes."

Blue briefly talked about what it feels like to work on a movie by saying, "If I like told my younger self that I was in a movie, I'd like never believe myself."

The star couldn't help but tear up as she continued to watch Blue and said, "Give me a second. I'm still...just can't believe that's my baby." While sitting side by Blue, Beyoncé eventually turns to look at her to let her know she's "so proud of her." Even Rumi, Beyoncé and Jay-Z's youngest daughter, makes a quick appearance!

The Mufasa: The Lion King premiere occurred December 9 with Beyoncé, Jay-Z, and grandma Tina Knowles standing by Blue Ivy's side. They looked stunning on the red carpet as they wore coordinating outfits. Although the ladies seemed to be present and excited, Jay-Z temporarily looked distracted while all of them were standing together (via PEOPLE).

If we had to guess, it may have something to do with the recent allegations connecting he and P. Diddy weighing on his mind. After the accusation went public, Jay-Z penned his own public statement and shared it to Roc Nations' social channels. The most heartbreaking aspect of it is realizing his children will be able to see everything.

"My wife and I will have to sit our children down, one of whom is at the age where her friends will surely see the press and ask questions about the nature of these claims, and explain the cruelty and greed of people," he wrote (via X). Only time will tell how everything pans out, but we hope this doesn't overshadow Blue Ivy's success, nor do we want to see people vilify her or her siblings for alleged misdeeds of Jay-Z.

At the end of the day, we're so proud of Blue for letting her light shine bright despite everything else!

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What Is Threads? Everything To Know About The Latest Social Media App

Meta, the parent company to Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp, recently introduced their latest social media platform to enter the ring, called Threads. The new text-sharing app takes inspiration directly from Instagram, offering a more conversational space via words, rather than photos and videos. If you’ve been feeling skeptical about adopting yet another social media, we have the deets on all things Threads. Read on to vet the platform before you hit ‘download.’

What is Threads?

Threads is a new, text-based social media app built by the teams at Instagram. It’s for sharing text updates and joining public conversations. Sounds just like Twitter, right? 🤪 According to Meta, the mission for Threads is to “take what Instagram does best and expand that to text, creating a positive and creative space to express your ideas.”

How does Threads work?

Threads is connected to Instagram. You can log into the platform using your IG account to begin sharing text posts up to 500 characters long. In these posts, you can include links, photos, *and* videos up to 5 minutes. It’s a scrollable social media app that also allows you to like and repost others’ content. You can choose to follow the same people you follow on Instagram, if they have a Threads account, plus the platform recommends content from new creators you don’t follow.

Is Threads like Twitter?

From what we’ve gathered, Threads is very similar to Twitter. After all, Mark Zuckerberg candidly acknowledged that the platform would be Twitter's competitor before it launched. Both apps follow a newsfeed-type structure and grant users the ability to like and repost content from other users, but Threads posts can reach up to 500 characters, while posts on Twitter are limited to 280.

Is Threads safe to use?

Photo by Kerde Severin / PEXELS

According to Meta, Threads is safe to use. It’s closely connected to Instagram, which Meta has longtime security investments in.

“As with all our products, we’re taking safety seriously, and we’ll enforce Instagram’s Community Guidelines on content and interactions in the app,” Meta’s website says. “Since 2016, we’ve invested more than $16 billion in building up the teams and technologies needed to protect our users, and we remain focused on advancing our industry-leading integrity efforts and investments to protect our community.”

Is Threads popular?

Though it’s still in its infancy, Threads logged 5 million sign-ups *just* in its first four hours of existence, and according to Mark Zuckerberg, the app now hosts more than 100 million users. We’d say it’s pretty popular at the moment!

Is Threads free?

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio / PEXELS

Yes, Threads is free on Apple and Google app stores.

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Header photo by Andrea Piacquadio / PEXELS

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Paris Geller Is Actually The Best Gilmore Girl Of Them All

Ahhh…Paris Geller. Where does one even begin with the best Gilmore Girl whose name isn't actually Gilmore? The woman we all came to know and love. The purveyor of backhanded compliments, deadpan humor, the quickest wit one can imagine and an absolutely ungodly work ethic. The sole character of the series who I would 100% watch a spin-off of, and love every minute. Sure — she once said that everyone around her needed to be sterilized immediately. And that Rory’s boyfriend offers “nothing to women or the world in general.” And that she can “scare the stupid out of you. But the lazy runs deep.”

She may, in fact, be the only character whose absurdity warrants such unhinged comments, and I am so here for it. You may be reading this because you too believe that Paris Geller deserves way more praise than she receives. Or you hate her. Or perhaps you don’t even know who she is. Regardless, allow me to delight you with the many — shall I say — unique musings of my favorite Gilmore Girls character, and explain exactly why Paris was not only what the cult-classic show needed, but the feminist icon TV needed, too.

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So let’s start from the beginning. Paris Geller (played by Liza Weil) joined the GG crew in Season 1, right as Rory Gilmore (the show’s sort-of protagonist) walked into Chilton Academy, a private school where Paris was attending, for her first day. A far cry from Rory’s relatively timid and soft-spoken personality, Paris tore up the screen with her high-strung personality and immediate rivalry with Rory (Rory did not feel the same), who Paris viewed as the only candidate who could possibly challenge her spot at the top of the class standing. As the year progresses, the two become friends, which of course Paris still highly questioned.

The rest of their high school experience is plagued with repeated ups and downs, from Paris’s parents’ highly publicized divorce to their joint student government campaign and, most notably, Paris’s C-SPAN meltdown, courtesy of a Harvard rejection fueled by what she can only assume to be wide-spread knowledge that she lost her virginity. Despite losing the Valedictorian slot to Rory (which Paris comes to terms with after finding out Salutatorians tend to be more successful), Paris walks across the graduation stage and accepts her diploma from the school’s headmaster, to which she iconically quips, “no hard feelings.”

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Fast forward to Paris’s first year at Yale, a school she knew Rory was attending but had no intention of ever seeing again. Not to the surprise of Paris’s life coach, the two frenemies were placed together as suitemates, a pairing that ultimately served as a catalyst for lifelong friendship. Throughout college, Paris pursues pre-med and pre-law degrees, joins the Yale Daily News alongside Rory, dates an elderly professor (he passes away, leaving Paris to grieve), moves on with the editor of the Yale Daily News, Doyle McMaster, and potentially saves Rory from abandoning Yale forever by admitting to Lorelai that Rory is the only person who ever listened to her, challenged her and motivated her.

Paris then proceeds to become the editor of the Yale Daily News, a position in which her power-hungry tendencies took full-force, resulting in a forcible resignation, kick Rory out of their shared apartment, let Rory move back into their shared apartment (now with Doyle), be accepted to a slew of prestigious medical and law schools. She ultimately chose to attend med school and break up with Doyle, to which he refused, and tells Rory that they’re on their own but she can still do great things (Of course this doesn’t last, the two are meant to be best friends.)

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Somehow this doesn't even scratch the surface of the character of Paris. As you can tell, Paris is a fiercely loyal, protective woman who fights for herself to no end. She (literally) doesn’t care what other people think (so long as they’re not within her immediate circle) and never stops pursuing her dreams, no matter how many times she probably should have. She is the epitome of feminism in modern television — perhaps taken to an extreme — and serves as a necessary counterweight to Rory’s floundering sense of self.

So long as she keeps her need for perfectionism in check, Paris has one of those few personality types whose wild ambition and outspokenness is directly beneficial to her success, a success that she, and only she, can define. Sure, she has an exaggerated sense of self-importance, but when balanced by Rory’s soft-but-straightforward approach, Paris can quickly reset, reevaluate and move forward.

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That's the thing with Paris — she’s always moving forward. She doesn't get into Harvard? Tough. She takes a few days to wallow before considering her other options: Yale, Columbia and Princeton. She doesn’t know whether to choose med school or law school, so she takes stock of her bearings, reflects on her past dreams, and makes a clear, concise decision that she moves forward with.

Her brutally honest nature (both internally and externally) is exactly why Paris works. She’s generous when needed, comfortable with giving tough (and oftentimes tougher) love, is able to express vulnerability with the people she loves, doesn’t allow outside influences to affect her path and never let’s someone (especially a man) tell her she’s less than (*cough, cough*—Rory). For an early 2000s show, she showed women that there is power in education. There’s power in stepping away from a caretaker role. There’s power in expressing your opinion, no matter your age.

Image via WB

There’s no doubt in my mind that she’s inspired countless women over the years — after all, she’s inspired me! Even though she’s had her controversial moments, she’s always been a cheering voice for women, even if it’s behind her resting grimace. For these reasons, and so many more, I am hereby deeming Paris Geller the best of Gilmore Girls — the heroine, perhaps, and a feminist icon to all.

What's your take on Paris Geller? Let us know in the comments, and sign up for our email newsletter for more pop culture musings!

Header image via Netflix, Warner Bros

This post has been updated.

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Lane Kim's Treatment On "Gilmore Girls" Is The Ultimate TV Tragedy

Gilmore Girlstakes up more of my brain space than I'd care to admit. The show is undeniably great. I mean, there's a reason it's become an absolute cultural phenomenon! The banter is witty and memorable, the Stars Hollow, Connecticut setting is warm and friendly, and the character dynamics feel natural and comforting. All of these elements combined create the perfect comfort show thatI personally rewatch again and again. However, despite having an overall positive opinion of the show, there is one bone I have to pick with it. This grievance makes my blood boil and keeps me tossing and turning at night.

While I can't pose my all-too-important question to the creators of the show, I will ask it to you, reader: Why in the world was Lane Kim's storyline such a travesty? Considering the show is not shy about uplifting and celebrating Rory (despite her many mistakes) it feels especially unfair how short of a stick Lane (played by Keiko Agena) truly got. Here are my unfiltered thoughts on the subject.

Lane deserved better after a life of seeking independence

Photo via WBLane Kim's Treatment On "Gilmore Girls" Is The Ultimate TV Tragedy

Throughout Lane's formative teenage years, she was forced to hide her true identity and interests in order to appease her mother. From hiding CDs in her floorboards and changing her clothes when she got to school, Lane was under a lot of pressure to keep her mom happy, while still trying to figure out who she was. Her mother even kicked her out after finding out about her "secret life," causing Lane to have to move into Rory's dorm. Rory, on the other hand, had a mother who supported her every dream and who she could be fully herself with.

I'm not sure why only one of these two besties got to live out their dreams, but if it did have to play out this way, it should have been Lane Kim. Given how difficult her upbringing was, couldn't the show have given her a win by having *her* be the one who gets to follow her dreams?

Lane's love life is lackluster

Image via Saeed Adyani/Netflix

Once again, the show propped up Rory and gave her not one, not two, but three love interests. Whether or not you love all three of them, we can all admit that each boyfriend was compatible with Rory in their own way, and helped her learn and grow. Lane, however, did not get this. Her first boyfriend, Dave, is great. He's kind and sweet and understanding of her family situation, but the show breaks them up because they can't handle being long-distance. (Technically, we know actor Adam Brody had to leave for The O.C. but where is the justice??!)

After Dave, it all goes downhill from there for poor Lane. She ends up with Zack, who isn't bad but isn't great. And, as soon as Lane is finally getting to pursue her passion by going on tour with her band, she finds out she and Zack are pregnant. Considering how long Lane dreamed of getting to be her authentic herself and openly express her interests, it feels cruel that this twist of fate took it away from her at this exact moment.

Lane made the best of her situation

Image via Neil Jacobs/Netflix

Despite Rory having almost every opportunity available to her, we find out in Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life that she is making bad decisions (like, er, sleeping with an engaged man) and is struggling to find her way. Lane, on the other hand, has made the best out of the cards she's been dealt. She's still married to Zack, is taking care of her twins, and has even kept music in her life by joining a band. I can't help but think if Lane can forge ahead despite all of her unfortunate circumstances, how fantastic could her life have been if the writers had served her just a little bit more good fortune?

Lane could have served as the role model so many girls needed

Image via Saeed Adyani/Netflix

Lane's experience mirrors many Asian-American girls' lives. She had a strict upbringing and struggled to strike a balance between fitting in with her American peers and forming her own identity, while still trying to manage her mother's expectations of who she should be. As an Asian-American, Lane's experiences mirrored many of my own, and, at a time when there was such little Asian representation, this was extremely impactful.

With the lack of representation at the time, it was even more important that Lane was dealt an ending that she and her viewers could be proud of. Instead of turning her into somewhat of a cautionary tale, her story could have been utilized to empower an audience of individuals who saw themselves in her. For that reason, Lane's treatment on Gilmore Girls will never quite sit right with me.

What do you think about Lane Kim's storyline on Gilmore Girls? Let us know in the comments and check out our guide to Where Is The Gilmore Girls Cast Now? to keep up with your favorite Stars Hollow residents (even if they're not in Stars Hollow anymore).

Lead image via Warner Bros

This post has been updated.

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